Chapter 19:

Natalie's Perspective

    I land in warm water. Dad and I stay under water so the men will think we're dead. Bubbles fly from my mouth. I swim to the surface and look at Dad. He looks mad.

    "Why the hell did you do that? I had no idea there was gonna be water at the bottom! If I had known that, I probably wouldn't have done a belly flop! Those hurt!" he yells then swims over to the rocks, and gets out.

I can't help but swim around in the water. I float on my back and look up at the cliff. I smile and swim around. I swim towards the rocks and climb out. Dad throws his shirt off and I look at his belly. I laugh then bite my lip. It looks as red as a tomato. He stares at his chest and stomach and gasps.

    "See! These hurt!" he says. I knew there was gonna be water at the bottom, because Mariah and I sneak off over here sometimes and jump off. "I'm sorry." I say. I feel the sunlight against my skin and smile. Then a cold wind sweeps over my back, and I shiver. I look up at the clouds, and realize that it's going to rain.

Dad slips his pants off, and lucky for me, he's wearing boxers. I look over at the cave Mariah and I stocked with snacks. I pull my shirt over my head and walk over to the cave. At least I have a bra on. Dad follows me, and I see the duffle bag and kneel down next to it. I unzip it, revealing chips, candy bars, soda, and other junk. Dad sees the bag.

    "Where did that come from? Explain." he says kneeling over, and sitting down. I sit down beside him dragging the bag with me. "I've been here before." I say. I'm not gonna rat Mariah out. "How?" he says taking a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos.

    "I may have discovered this place before, and may have taken food to hang out for awhile." I say. He opens the bag and eats a couple chips. He shakes his head. "I'm not gonna yell, simply because I'm starving." he says tipping the bag into his mouth to get the crumbs. He finished that already?

I take a bag of BBQ Lays Potato chips and toss it to him. He catches the bag and tears it open. Sure enough, I hear rain. I grab our clothes from beside us and lay them across a rock next to me. I hear him munching.

    "So? What's the plan Daddy-O?" I say. I'm not very hungry, especially after the thing that happened with Liam. I've lost my appetite. "We are definitely not going back up there.Those men are gonna be patrolling those woods. We have to stay here." he says licking his fingers. I nod and realize how wet my shorts are, and cold.

I remember wearing a swim suit bottom to bed, because Mom needed to do laundry. I slip my pants off and set them on the rock to dry. Dad finishes the chips, and I toss him some Oreos. He smiles and opens the pack. He holds a cookie out for me to take, and I shake my head.

    "What? You love Oreos! Come on." he says. He wafts the Oreo below my nose and I just glare at him. He eats it, and then smiles a really goofy smile. He has the cookies covering his teeth, giving them a blackish-brownish look. I laugh at him, and he licks it off. I frown again, because the thought of what happened at Liam's house pushed it's way back in my mind.

    "What's wrong? You've been giving that look since you got out of the water." he says licking the frosting off. I shake my head and stare at the stone wall. I can't let one stupid, little thought get in my way of important thoughts. I stop thinking about it, and Dad stares at me with a concerned look on his face. "I'm fine, really." I say with a fake smile.

He puckers his eye brows and grabs a candy bar. I look away from him and grab a pebble. I toss it in my hands and set it down. I decide to break the awkward silence. "Do you think they went after Mom?" I say. "I don't know." he says lowering the candy bar from his mouth. Who was the "leader", Peter was talking about? I need to tell Dad what's going on.

    "Peter was at the apartment." I say. He looks up at me. "What?" he says through gritted teeth. "I went back to the apartment to find you, and he was there, waiting for me." I say. He sighs. "It doesn't surprise me that he's apart of all this." he says. "I'm guessing he was the one who shot me because the rest of them had bad aim. He was Dauntless." I say. He nods.

Then he laughs. "One of my initiates shot my daughter. And I'm the one who taught him to shoot." he says. His laugh turns into a groan, and he munches on the candy bar. "He said something about being sent by his 'leader' to bring me to 'him'." I say.

    "Yeah, Peter and Eric probably joined whatever crap is going on. They're probably working for somebody." he says. "But who?" I say. He shrugs his shoulders and crumples the candy wrapper up and tosses it in the bag. "Those bullets must have been a creation from Jeanine. But, I doubt she would give them those bullets to kill her greatest creation." I say.

He nods as he opens a soda. "So, how would they get them?" I say. He puts the can down. "They killed her, and stole the bullets. They were probably made for aiming practice. Instead of shooting targets, why not use the real thing?" he says. Good point.

They killed Jeanine to get to me. They want me alive, not dead. But why do they want me alive? If they don't want something like me around, why make me a hostage? My life has become one big secret. I want to know the truth. I'm tired of not knowing what's going on. I didn't even know about my flameshooting until I was twelve. Secrets. Secrets. Secrets. I've had enough of them.

    "Dad, why did it have to be me?" I say. He sets the soda can down, and the 'clink' rings through the cave. "What do you mean?" he says. "Why did I have to be the one everybody wants dead?" I say. I lean my head on his shoulder. "Nobody wants you dead." he says.

I lift my head off of his shoulder. "Yes, everybody does! Some want to kill me, others want to kidnap me!" I yell. My voice rings through the cave, bouncing off the walls and making its way to my ears. He wraps his arms around me, and pulls me into a bear hug. I find myself crying into his arm. He holds me like a baby.

    "Those are your enemies. Of course they don't like you. But, I love you. Enemies aren't meant to like you. Your Mom loves you. Your aunts and uncles and cousins love you. If those men didn't want you dead, I'd still love you. You are loved more than you are hated." he says as he kisses me on the head.

    "I hate running! I want to be free." I say crying harder. He rubs my arms and holds me tighter. "Nobody is ever really free. You can't escape the world without leaving it." he says. "I mean like, where I'm not being hunted this very minute!" I say. He sighs.

    "I know, it's hard living a life like this. But, you just have to keep pushing through it. It will turn out much better in the end." he says. I nod and wipe my tears. He's right. I can't keep doing this. I have to push through it. He smiles and lets me go. "No, I want another hug!" I say.

He laughs and I hug him again. He kisses me on the cheek, and I grab a bag of chips. My face is moist from tears, and Dad holding his face in his hands. "I'm sorry." I say setting the chips down. "No, don't be. I don't blame you for thinking everybody wants you dead. Your Mom and I were running for a long time. Almost everybody wanted us dead. Now, you feel the same way." he says.

He has gone through this before. It feels terrible. It feels like the world doesn't want you. But there's always somebody out there who loves you. "Dad, I want to let you know that I know you love me." I say. He probably thinks I hate my life, and don't want to be here.

    "I know, it's just that I always imagined I'd settle down and live a life where I'm not running. I never wanted my daughter to have to go through the same thing I went through." he says. He once thought he wasn't worth it. He once thought the world didn't want him. He once thought that he was nothing. He thinks I want to kill myself.

    "Dad, I wouldn't leave this world if I wanted to." I say touching his shoulder. He doesn't say anything. "I would never leave." I say. "I promise." I say. This isn't good enough. He still thinks I want to leave. "Dad, listen to me." I say. He looks up at me with his light blue eyes.

The way my eyes get when I'm sad. "I don't want to leave. I swear." I say. "I've heard that before." he says. What? Someone has betrayed him? "I promise." I say. "Heard that one too." he says. "Fine! Geez!" I say. He sighs. I listen to the rain pitter-pattering against the rocks outside. I get up and walk over to a patch of moss on the cave floor.

I lay down on it and feel my wet hair against my lower back. I'm really cold, and wish my clothes were dry. I have no idea what time it is, but I'm really tired from running around. I close my eyes, shivering and hear Dad zipping up the bag.

My eye lids get heavy, and I fall asleep.

Hi! I'm sorry I haven't updated in awhile! School is about to start for me, and I've been out shopping for school supplies and stuff. Well, back to the chapter! If you haven't noticed, I snuck a little lesson in the story! The part where Natalie is wondering why she is still alive, when people want her dead. I've been hearing a lot about bullies, so in case any of my readers are being bullied, I hope you realize you belong in this world, and you are loved! I don't know if any of you can relate to how Natalie was feeling, but if you can relate to her, remember what Tobias said to her when you're feeling down. Hopefully that will cheer you up! Don't forget to vote and comment! :)