The world was a blur of wind and starlight as Jimin was carried out of the night club. His limbs felt like boulders, just as responsive to his pleas of movement as rock. The pressure of hands hooked underneath Jimin's knees and his back felt foreign and strange. If he had the energy to scrunch up his nose, Jimin would have done it then; the nauseating scent that'd been following him for weeks, peeking up at random corners of the world, brushing against his nose, wasn't the smell of vinegar, but of a sharp cologne.

"It's okay, Jimin." The male voice echoed. The words were almost purred, a growl from the male's throat caused a cold shiver to run down Jimin's spine. He felt dizzy, unsure when his body had gone from seizing to limp.

"You're safe now." The voice purred once more and the sound of ambulance sirens howled. It sounded familiar, the comment private in Jimin's ear. In the background, Jimin thought he could hear arguing behind him, the voice of honey clashing with the low rumble of Kim Taehyung's. But before Jimin could question it, his eyes shut and the world closed in around him.

* * *

When Jimin woke up next, it took him a moment to recognize that the soft covers he was currently bundled up in were his own. It took him another moment to notice someone had changed his clothes. He'd lost the tight and form fitting clubbing outfit for a sweatshirt and pajama shorts. If Jimin had the strength for humor, he would have laughed that they chose the black smexy sweatshirt, but he was worried he'd vomit if he moved.

"Is it selfish that I'm glad the doctors didn't make him stay the night? They kept him in the hospital all day." Jimin heard Seokjin's hushed voice through the door, he glanced out the window only to find that the sky was still waking up and wondered if his friends had all stayed the night at their apartment. Jimin scrunched up his nose and wondered which morning sky he was looking at, not sure how long he slept. When he ached his muscles to stretch, it felt like maybe years.

"It's a good sign, Jin. They said Jimin wouldn't suffer any long term damage from the seizure." Jimin heard Taehyung reply and could see the shadows of their feet behind the closed door. "What I can't believe is that they called him lucky. Lucky? As if Jimin was lucky he surivived what that - what he tried to do."

"Taehyung, we don't know it was Jungkook. There were a lot of people at the club last night."

"I saw him, Seokjin. When Namjoon poured Jungkook and Jimin those shots, Jungkook kept fumbling with something in his pocket, setting the shot down on the same level as it."

"It's going to break his heart, Tae, to tell him."

The boys went silent for a moment and Jimin could have sworn he felt their eyes on the door.

"I was too easy on Jungkook the last time he hurt Jimin." Kim Namjoon's voice flooded in as his steps approached, the sound so strong it shook Jimin to the core.

Jimin fell back asleep before he could hear either boy's reply.

* * *

"Jimin, Jimin!" Jung Hoseok exclaimed as Jimin stirred awake to a bright sun flooding his room with warm color. He squinted, his body heavy as he lifted himself up from his forearms to a seated position causing the black smexy hoodie to shift lopsided.

He wouldn't admit this to anyone, but he was grateful for the stupid hoodie. He'd woken several times, sometimes to hushed voices at the door, sometimes to silence, but it was always the smell of forest and citrus that managed to tug him awake. It wrapped around his body like sunlight, taking over Jimin's senses until his world was made of warmth.

"H-hey-" Jimin said, rubbing his eyes. Taehyung instantly launched himself on top of him, hugging his friend tightly before cupping his face in his hands and patting his cheeks once with a box smile to see if he was really up.

"Jimin! We've all been so worried!" Seokjin said behind him, prying Taehyung off of his best friend. "It's been days."

"Where's-" Jimin started, looking around the room and noting Seokjin and Taehyung on the bed, Hoseok by the closet, and Namjoon at the door. His voice fell silent as memories of the club flashed, of him dancing with Jungkook, of him losing control of his body, and how cold he'd felt when a faceless man had carried him out to the ambulance. He frowned, positive that he had heard Jungkook's voice at one point, but maybe that'd just been his dream.

"He's gone. You're safe." Namjoon stated, his dark eyes intense.

"Has he ever tried to-" Seokjin asked, waving his hand.

Jimin blushed as he realized what Seokjin mean, "What?! no, no every time has always been consentual-"Jimin, at the mention of Jungkook, looked around, "guys, where's my phone? I need to talk to him."

"We don't think that's a good idea." Seokjin said cautiously.

"Oh yeah?" Jimin snorted, rolling his eyes, "I'm sorry did someone drug you last night?"

"Careful." Namjoon said, getting too close for Jimin's comfort. He placed his hands on the side of the bed frame, caging Jimin in so close that Namjoon's cologne hit Jimin at full force, causing his head to spin. "You're not to contact or see Jungkook again, that's final." He stated slowly, dark eyes a strong as he held Jimin's gaze before slowly lifting himself back up and walking to the door, his muscles rippling with a controlled rage. Seokjin watched him leave with pursed lips and Taehyung threw Jimin a look of pity.

"I'm sorry Jimin, we just think you need time." Taehyung said.

"Are you my friends or my jailors?" Jimin asked, trying to stand up before thinking better of it after a wave of nausea hit him.

"Jimin, we know you don't want to believe it-"

Jimin scrunched his brows, looking over to his friend who sat at the edge of the bed. Jieun's silver eyed glare flashed across Jimin's mind along with an image of Jungkook and her, side by side in grief. The image scattered just as fast as it had came, but it sent shivers down Jimin's spine. His friends wouldn't understand - couldn't understand.

Jimin had little memory of the night before, only scatters of light and laughter in his mind, but he could have sworn he's seen Jieun's slim, short body swiftly whisper past Jimin and Jungkook as they had danced. It was hard, so hard to weave through the fog of the drug, but there was another flash of Jieun's frame gently moving along to the music, her silver hair lose and free around her shoulder's. Jimin frowned, trying his best to contain the memory in place, but it was like fighting against a raging wind. The last glimpse he remembered was of Jieun, her smile elegant as walked toward a table filled with Jimin's friends. When he turned to warn Jungkook, Jieun was gone, and so Jimin had passed it off as paranoia.

But if she had been there ... Jimin shuddered before an even more unnerving thought raced into his mind: if someone wasn't there to carry him out - anything could have happened.

"I saw it, Jimin." Taehyung said, cutting through Jimin's thoughts as he sat down on the bed. He put a hand on Jimin's shoulder, "I saw him slip something from his pocket when Namjoon poured you shots."

That made Jimin stop. He scrunched his brows. "Did you see something fall in or did you just assume?" Jimin challenged with a snap, but Taehyung's face softened.

I lost I lost I lost

It was Jieun. It had to have been.

"Yoongi called me last night, Jimin. He said Jungkook was such a mess when he got home, that guilt collapsed him. Guilt, Jimin."

I lost I lost I lost

Jimin scanned over the concerned look on his friends faces. Seokjin, with a quiet kindness, took Jimin's hand in his own and gave it a squeeze while Taehyung continued to stare apologetically.

But they didn't know Jungkook like Jimin did, of the kindness at the core of all that sarcasm and finesse, of what the boy had to sacrifice for years because of a stupid mistake his father had made. They didn't know of his card game with Jieun, they didn't know what she had threatened or what she had promised. Jungkook couldn't have - he couldn't - he wouldn't - would he? At least, not the Jungkook Jimin had gotten to know.

Jimin swallowed, nodding slowly. He could tell from the steel in his friends eyes and the cold rage which Namjoon had stalked out of the room that for a while they wouldn't let him out of their sight.

"Okay," Jimin said, willing his expression to soften with shock, filling his eyes with confused tears. He made his hands shake as he wrapped them around his knees and let his friend hold him while he cried, hoping for all his worth that it was a believable enough display. He'd play the part they wanted, the broken hearted lover, the boy that always needed their protection and their shield, until an opening would show and his heart would tug him like a cord to where he knew it wanted most to go and he could figure out what really happened for himself.

_____
A/N: sorry the update is a day late!!!
It's finals week so I wasn't able to get it out in time!!

That being said, have a wonderful holiday you guys. Please enjoy some cozy hot cocoa and watch something that Marie Kondo sparks joy. I know this year has been just the fucking worst, but you guys have really kept me together more than you'll ever know. So thank you for your fun comments, your witty replies, and simply for being your beautiful self, 💜

- Violette