April 9, 2021 is the day of the official release of the final chapter of the Attack on Titan manga. to respect this, there will not be a chapter released on that day. this is purely because the fanfiction is, of course, based on that story, and I don't want to release a chapter and distract from the ending of the source material.

I just read the final chapter typeset (not the official, of course, though I will reread it as soon as that one is out.)

updates will resume on monday, april 12. in place of a new chapter, I thought it might be nice to release this little note so we can have a place to chat about both the final chapter, and about AoT as a whole. and... it's a long note. sorry! I just had a lot to say!

there is a spoiler warning from here on out. if you haven't read it yet, I'd advise you back out now. I don't go into specifics in the note on everything that happened, but I can't say the same for the comments.

ok! so, let's chat about it a bit. I'll kinda go through my take on it, which absolutely is in no way meant to discredit other interpretations or say that mine is more valid. I just wanted to share it. feel free to agree, disagree, and put your own interpretations in the comments! <3

first off, a lot of people hate this ending. r/titanfolk absolutely DESPISES it. I... think I get it. I can absolutely understand where they're coming from. yams took Eren - and all of the development he went through just to get to this point - and surprised everyone with the way that he was a slave to fate, in a sense. everything Eren had done had been ultimately useless. I can see exactly why people think that and why it would be frustrating.

but I interpret it differently. I see it as, when Eren saw everything in Paths, he saw everything that he needed to do in order to achieve his goals. which, we all know, were ultimately to protect his friends and kill all the titans.

and even looking at his dream from the very beginning of the manga, I believe he saw what he would eventually have to do, which explains why he was crying. for a child to see what is essentially a nightmare of him pushing his own friends away, killing 80% of the world population, etc., it must have been a lot.

and I kind of also see a parallel almost to what happened in Infinity War/End Game (spoiler warning? ig) where Doc Strange saw each possible ending and acted to ensure that the one he desired (of course meaning that Thanos didn't win) happened, even if that meant sacrificing himself. if this was never what Eren wanted, or even if it was, it doesn't matter, because he had to.

that is what makes this ending beautifully tragic to me.

it brings in some incredible irony because Eren wanted true freedom, and yet never truly got it because he had to act in a certain way to obtain the ending that was best for who he loved. he was never free, he was a slave to fate. 

Mikasa was never a slave to her Ackerman genetics, she was free. free to do as she wanted, free to love, and free to protect those she needed to. with all that, she also had the strength to do so. she was never a slave. she was always free. the exact opposite of Eren.

Eren sacrificed his freedom to save those he loved. that is beautiful.

Eren knew what he wanted, but never the freedom to act on any of it. he got a real glimpse of it in paths, but he could never acquire it: not without sacrificing his friends, who he wanted to protect above all else. in order to kill the titans, and protect his friends, he needed to start the Rumbling. 

that's why he pushed his friends away, making them believe he was some tragic hero who had seen that the Rumbling was the only way to save them. he knew that they wouldn't accept it. they wouldn't accept global genocide. he knew that. which is why he kept the act up.

people were complaining about Historia being a wasted character, but I see her getting pregnant as part of Eren's plan. I think that, as part of making sure he achieved the end he wanted, he needed to get Historia into a certain position, and that's what he convinced her to do.

he could never really account for what others would do. he knew only what he needed to in order to ensure that what he foresaw happening actually happened, and that included manipulating everyone into acting as they needed to.

I think that he needed them all to believe that he was going to commit to and complete the Rumbling. I think that he saw this as the only way to achieve his goals, and so he did it. he pushed them away. he started the Rumbling, knowing they would go after him. and they did.

as we know, Eren fooled a lot of people into thinking they were in his head, and knew his plans, and thought he was on their side (zeke, floch, historia, etc.). it's not farfetched to think that he'd done that to keep people safe, to line them up with where they needed to be to get the best possible outcome that he foresaw.

Eren is an incredibly complex character. and it was beautiful to see his development. I also think that it is possible that Eren - and all of the characters, for that matter - are subject to changing their mind, their motivation, everything, all without the reader knowing, leading to twists literally no one saw coming.

so, even if everything I said is wrong, which is possible, then I still think that Eren is an incredible character. I think what upset a lot of people was that Eren wasn't playing 4D-Chess, and didn't actually finish the Rumbling. but Eren never struck me as the person to do that, even after he went completely ape-shit. 

something about it always seemed a bit forced to me. if he did want to kill the world, he'd probably look a bit more... excited to do it, when he did it. instead, he always just looked sad. because he knew what was going to happen.

in my eyes, Eren is an incredibly tragic hero. one who, for all the development we saw him go through, still fell back into that selfish little boy who vowed to kill all the titans and protect his two dearest friends (and the others he met along the way). and he did...

all for Mikasa. say what you will about him, or her, or their relationship, but we all knew from the beginning that the story was about them (and Armin). it started with them, and it ended with them.

people dubbed this as the worst ending possible, and I think that there is a possibility that yams was pressured into doing it a certain way like people have said. it did seem a bit.. fan-servicey. I thought Jean and Connie and those titanized would remain as such, or be killed for good when Eren got rid of all Titans. so maybe he was pressured a bit into keeping more people alive, for the sake of the fans.

even if that isn't the case, it is his story, his baby, something he's worked on for years. I don't think he would allow himself to put out an ending that he didn't believe in. he knows people love aot, and he loves aot.

while disappointing in a sense, this is the ending he wrote. and through all the debating and arguing and comparing it to code geass, tokyo ghoul, and game of thrones, I think we should all keep in mind that this story was something that was beautiful to experience. 

in no way does this ending ruin anything for me. aot is something that I will continue to enjoy, and I will always be proud to say that I do enjoy it.

something that I think is important to consider is that yams is a good storyteller. and I believe it is totally possible for him to give us an ending that he knows will leave us with more questions, because that keeps it interesting. there will never be a way to satisfy everyone with an ending. wrapping things up with a neat little bow was something no one expected for a story like this, but maybe yams did that on purpose.

obviously, maybe I'm giving him more credit than necessary. maybe there were plot points that he just didn't know how to wrap up, so he left them open-ended. maybe he was just tired. but I like to think he did it on purpose, to get us frustrated, to get people talking.

if a story ends neatly with everything explained, it gets forgotten - because there's nothing to talk about. if a story ends too neatly, yet with not everything getting explained, it keeps people talking. people getting passionate about it is something of an honor, I think. if someone is invested enough in a work so that they think the story deserves a better ending, that shows how much they love it. passion is a good thing.

much like life, there were a lot of unanswered questions and a lot of uncertainty regarding this ending. maybe he did this to give us a purposefully unsatisfying end, because that's what those characters felt, too. we'll never know, because it's over now. the characters might be just as confused as us, but life goes on. they make the best with what they have, and what information they have.

there isn't always a way to wrap everything up nicely in a way everyone will enjoy. there sometimes isn't a way to explain everything, but I love that in storytelling. get people thinking, debating, rethinking, rearguing, only to be thrown a curveball later that literally no one expected. personally, I love that kind of thing when I read. 

to feel unsatisfied after reading something... it proves you were passionate about it. that you had theories, ideas, that you dove into someone else's work as though it were your own... I love that.

an unsatisfying end is something I really do enjoy reading, because sometimes that's just how life is: unsatisfying. there is no way to please everyone. so while weird, strange, and a bit disappointing, I did enjoy the ending. a lot.

that's just my take on it, almost immediately after reading it (I might have cried for a bit before getting here). I'd love to hear what you all think, because that's what a story is for: it's to allow people to form their own opinions, take what they will, and move on.

now, forgive me, for this is about to get terribly mushy and gushy and gross.

I, for one, am incredibly honored that I was able to experience the story as it happened, regardless of the ending.

I started watching it back when it was first released, and it was the first anime that I watched that wasn't something like Sailor Moon or Pokémon. as such, it opened that entire world up for me. in middle school, I met some people who were also fans of the show and introduced me to show after show after that. I'm still friends with them today.

the only reason I watched the first episode was because it was released on a day I was hanging out for the first time with who is now one of my best friends. he wanted to try it, and we did; and though his mom walked in and was very confused as to why her son was showing a girl a show about giant, naked men, she let it be and we sat there, embarrassed, for several minutes before continuing.

that boy was my first love.

for several years, we were inseparable, and even now he is still very special to me. we still talk every single day, though we're both in our own places and will probably never get back what we had.

as strange as it sounds, this is one of the reasons why attack on titan as a story will always be special to me. much like that boy was my first love, AoT will remain my first love, with regards to my favorite stories.

though I watch and read other things, this one story in particular will always have a special spot in my heart reserved for it because of how many people that I met through it who have remained in my life.

even without the emotional stipulations on my life, as a story, AoT is incredibly special.

Isayama has proven himself as a master of storytelling, and it was incredible to go on this journey as it happened. though of course part 2 of the final season will eventually be released, it is bittersweet to know that once it comes, it is the last thing we will get before it's over for good.

it was only weeks after seeing that first season each week with that boy that I picked up the manga. and I haven't put it down since. though there were months where I missed the release as my enthusiasm for the story came and went, I always returned to it.

once upon a time, anime was terribly taboo; it still is, but far less so than it was. when AoT blew up, so too did the popularity of anime outside of japan. as a gateway anime, I suppose I lucked out that mine just so happened to be this story in particular.

it's just so strange to think that it's over now, but it is. and what a beautiful story it was.

the world will, I'm sure, move on and eventually forget AoT. hell, some people already have said they're erasing it from their memory entirely. but for me, to have been here to witness it happen has been amazing, and it will forever hold a special spot in my heart. I cannot sit in good conscience and say that I would ever block it from my memory, with as many hours watching, reading, writing, theorizing, and talking about it as I have.

unsatisfying or not, the ending is here.

please, for the love of all that is good in this world, do not burn your manga if you hated the ending. send them my way xoxo thx.

this was terribly mushy and gushy and ew but thank you for bearing with it, and as always, thank you all so much for reading my story.

(and keep an eye out for monday's update, like a memory!)

dedicate your hearts, now and forever. <3