Levi and I could do nothing more for now than continue training the recruits. And that was it. That was... all we could do.

I had always felt useless compared to Levi, but this was stretching things a bit, even for me. A fucking war was on the horizon and I was going to work like everything was normal.

If nothing else, it was clear to me that Levi was getting increasingly frustrated by everything going on. I did what I could to help him. Massages, plenty of tea, quiet nights in, and doing all I could to stay out of his way when he was clearly in a bad mood that wouldn't be alleviated easily, no matter my efforts. I knew how to read him, and consequently knew what he needed at different times.

Once the fighting begins, everything would be up in the air. I found solace in knowing that once it did come, Emiko would be safe. But not knowing what would happen to everyone else that I loved left a bitter taste in my mouth. I was losing sleep at night, but I didn't dare tell Levi that. I was worried, that was all.

And one day, amidst the growing worry about Eren and his whereabouts, we received word that the Tybur family offered their support to the Paradis Island Operation. Well, that was good news, anyway. All the hard work of the Azumabito had paid off, to some extent.

But on another day, a wrench – no, a fucking boulder – was tossed into the mix. We received a letter. Not just any letter, no. It was from Eren. Because that asshole had run off on us and had the audacity to send us a god damn letter.

Oh, not that I was allowed to see it, of course.

I wasn't expecting that, that's for damn sure.

Something I realized very quickly was that I was kept from the planning or discussion of whatever it was that he had sent, which absolutely did not sit right with me. It was subtle, at first, so subtle I hadn't noticed it earlier. But now, it was obvious: letters from Hange were no longer addressed to both of us, but just to Levi. I hardly even received regular updates, anymore. It was suspicious as hell, and I was not having it. And to not be allowed to see the letter...

When our copy came, with Hange's attached scrawl, I was with Emi in her room, playing on the floor with her when Levi went out to get the mail.

"Stay here, sweetie," I murmured to her, standing up, my hair on the back of my neck standing on end as I realized something felt off. I stepped through the doorway, leaning through it to watch Levi start down the hallway towards the office, the mail in hand. His steely eyes were trained downwards as he walked, already reading through one of the documents. "Anything for me, Levi?"

He slowed slightly in his step, barely sparing me a glance as he walked by. "No, brat," he muttered. "Not today."

"Anything for us, then?"

"No," he answered again.

He headed into the office then, and I nodded my head with disbelief, hardly able to comprehend that. I'd caught a glance of what he was reading. I could clearly see Hange's usual ledger, with the Survey Corps Wings displayed plainly on the top. So, it was official business, that they simply did not want me to know about.

He disappeared into the office, the door closing behind him. I looked back at Emi, who was playing peacefully by herself, then back down the hall towards the office. I stepped into the hall and pulled Emi's door closed behind me, promising to be back in a few minutes.

I stormed down the hall and flung the door of the office open. I knew that the way that I was doing this was bound to piss Levi off. The way to argue with Levi was to not get mad, to not let emotions do the talking, because then he'd just call me irrational. And here I was, getting emotional and irrational.

But who could blame me, really?

I'd been saying for months now that I was going to rejoin the fighting. I'd already decided on that for myself. If I was being kept out of the planning, then I had some choice words for both Levi and Hange. I'd told them so many times now, and it wasn't exactly a secret.

I wasn't giving up on this island, and I was not going to sit idly by when everyone else ran off to go protect our homeland, because it was my damn homeland, too. If I guessed correctly, then I knew that by now, we'd be in the middle of planning our Eren rescue mission if that was indeed what Eren had sent.  The only way for us to do that was if planning started immediately.

And so, the complete lack of information I was getting was worrying and very telling.

I hated to just conclude that they were planning without me, but maybe they were planning a surprise party. Yeah, right.

Levi's eyes were wide as he regarded me in the doorway of the office. There was a nice breeze flowing in through the windows and the curtains were slaying slightly. I crossed my arms in front of my chest, leveling a gaze that mirrored his own pissed off one rather well. That was one thing that being Levi's wife had done for me: if I didn't have a bitchy face before, I could certainly pull one off now.

"Do you need something?" Immediately, the tone he took with me ticked me off. He was using his captain's voice on me, the one that took no shit and offered little to no room for backtalk or negotiation.

"Awfully kind way to talk to your wife," I muttered.

"You've got a bratty look on your face," he replied, settling down in his chair. "That means trouble, plain and simple. And you slammed the door open, which you never do unless you're in a pissy mood. So what is it?"

"What's that you're reading?"

"Nothing," he answered.

"I saw the Wings stamp on it," I told him. "Meaning that it's an official document. Is it a plan to save Eren?"

"Where the hell did you get an idea like that?"

"Well, is it?"

"So what if it is?"

"Why am I not being included in it? Don't you think that if I'm going, I should know what's happening?"

At that, he lowered the document in his hands to the desktop and looked at me with one eyebrow raised. "You're not going. Leave it at that."

"Oh? That's the first I'm hearing of it." I leaned my weight into one hip, my lips pressed into a straight line as I looked at him. I could feel the rising tension in the air. Already it was thick, palpable. But I wasn't about to let this go. "It's my duty as a soldier to go. If I'm being assigned otherwise, the commander should have let me know."

An angry furrow to his brow adorned his expression now. "As a mother, it's your duty to stay behind and safe and take care of our child."

"No," I argued. "As safe as I will be if I stay behind, I cannot say the same for you and the rest of the Scouts." His eyes narrowed. "How can I make sure that it is not a repeat of what happened in Shiganshina if I'm not there, giving it my all?"

Levi shook his head, a mild fury flaring up in his eyes. "You do not get to make those kinds of decisions," he barked, "not when Emi is at stake." He stood up suddenly, the chair making a horrible screech against the floor. "She can live without a father, but she cannot live without a mother."

His words were like a slap to the face. My nails were digging into my skin painfully as I hoped to keep myself under control as we had that standoff.

"Emi can't live without both," I said quietly, yet firmly. "I can only make sure of that if I am there."

He ran a hand down his face. "Why is it so damn important for you to go?"

"I would've died out on that field in the fucking mud during that first expedition, and so many damn times after that," I said. I could see the confusion flash in his eyes. I lowered my hands to my sides, my nails digging into my palms as I nearly shook with all the emotion running through my body.

"When I got caught by that first abnormal Titan, when I sprained my wrist, when my gear malfunctioned, and when I fell off a damn building? Each time, I saw you. You were the one to save my ass and inspired me to keep fighting." I took in a deep, shaky breath. "On that first expedition, I nearly died. But I fought to stay alive because of you. You told me to keep fighting so I did. I couldn't leave you alone."

"...What do you mean?"

"I remember it so clearly," I said. "I was so close to death. But I could hear you calling to me, asking me to stay alive, so I... I did." Despite myself, tears brimmed in my eyes. "Don't you get it? My only reason to fight to stay alive at that point was because of you. I'd already resigned myself to death. And each time after that when I'd gotten hurt, it was because of you. Always because of you, that I continued to fight."

I choked back a sob. "For fuck's sake Levi, I never held any kind of stock in my own life, I wanted to stay alive because I couldn't leave you alone. It was all I was good at! Don't you see it? Ensuring that you were okay. So I can kill a few Titans, so what? I haven't done shit, Levi."

"Amaya-"

"Why am I being kept from this?! Am I not good at reconnaissance? Am I not good at planning?"

"You're not going, so you don't need to-"

"I don't want to hear it," I snapped. "You know what? Just think about it. I've done jack shit and I'm sick of it. All the accolades I've received were on the back of your achievements. All of this, and I've never even repaid that debt that I need to from that first expedition out. I'd have died years ago if not for you, right alongside Farlan and Isabel! But the thing is, if I did, what the hell would I have changed?" He opened his mouth to answer but I cut him off. "Nothing."

Levi's mouth snapped shut, sensing that I had more to say. And I did.

"You want to know why I want to go so badly? Because if I don't, who's to say that there won't be a repeat of Shiganshina? Where a hundred soldiers left but only nine returned? I don't know if I would have changed the flow of the battle even a bit if I were there, but fuck me, I will not allow it to happen again!"

"And if both of us die?" Levi barked out. "What then? You'd leave our daughter without any fucking parents?"

"There it is – our daughter. She is both of ours, Levi. And you are my husband, as much as I am your wife. I know that compared to you I am nothing. I know that. The one truly successful mission the Scouts had, where you did what you set out to do, I wasn't there. Do you know how humiliating that is? I dedicated my life to this and yet I've got nothing to show for it."

My heart was threatening to thump right out of my chest. It felt wrong, speaking to him like this. But I didn't give a damn anymore. I'd carried these worries with me for years now. It was about time I exposed them.

"If I hadn't killed the titans that I did, you would've, or Mike, or Hange, or literally anyone else," I said as calmly as I could. "But even worse, I experienced what it was like to not be there to fight alongside you. I couldn't stand it, Levi. I got no sleep, knowing that you could've been dead and alone somewhere when I promised you that you'd never be alone."

My voice wavered but I didn't let that stop me. A deep, controlled breath was all I needed to find the fight to continue.

"I have done nothing worthwhile in this life of mine, but somehow, just knowing that you can still make a difference keeps me going. You're the hero, Levi, not me. I will not be the one to turn the tide of our war. But I didn't spend years of my life training as hard as I could just to lay down now."

My voice lowered to a hush, then. But he could hear it. I know he did.

"I already told you that I would very quickly trade my life for yours, and I still mean that," I continued. "I've got my title and nothing else, but you... Levi, you're truly invaluable to this army. So I've... I've got to do all that I can to make sure that you get to that point. To protect our home, our friends, and our little girl. This is the only way I know how to protect her and make sure that you're okay, too."

"Amaya, you're such a dumbass. Do you-"

I didn't stay to listen to what he had to say.

"Don't come after me," I hissed, slamming the office door shut behind me. I leaned against it for a moment, unable to stop the tears from flowing down my cheeks. "God..." I muttered. "Why am I so damn weak?"

I pushed away from the door and walked through the house quickly. I didn't stop for anything as I made my way through the backdoor and into the garden. I plopped right down onto the bench, thankful that at least it wasn't downpouring out.

It wasn't like I could take what I said back. I'd dumped everything I'd been carrying with me for years on him, and all at once. I'd tried so hard to keep it in, but... I was so conflicted.

Would it make sense for me to stay behind with Emiko? Yes, that's what my brain knew. But my heart screamed at me to stay by his side, to fight alongside those I claimed to love, because how could I possibly still say that I dedicated my heart when I would let them go off and die alone?

Truthfully, I wasn't sure if it would even help. I was a strong soldier, sure. Whatever. But not when it really came down to what mattered. I became a Captain because I was proficient at fighting titans. I remained a captain because I could keep Levi in line, and no one thought to demote me.

What he'd said about leaving Emi without both parents... it hurt. I didn't want her to grow up without her parents, like I did, and like Levi had. That was not and would never be my intention. I wanted my little family to thrive and be happy, together.

But say I stayed home, and Levi went off, fought, and died. Maybe, just maybe, if I were there, I could save him. Maybe I could do one good thing and finally repay that debt that I still owed. Maybe it would result in me losing my life, but... so long as Levi and Emi lived, that was a risk I was willing to take.

Of anyone, I'd say that Levi was our safest bet for getting Eren back and winning this war. He wasn't the Strongest Soldier for nothing. But me... No. I'd done nothing worthwhile thus far, why would that change now?

I wanted to try, though. I needed to try. I'd never be able to live with myself if I didn't.

If just me being there shifted fate in such a way that meant that Levi lived, regardless of what happened to me, I would do it, again and again, now and forever. That man had gone through so much. And here I am, in his life as I am.

How could I offer him any less than my life, when he'd so easily give himself for my own, despite his life being worth more?

Life had always been hard, but was it really, honestly too much to ask to have a calm life with my husband and my daughter?

I spent a long time out there by myself, watching the sky fade from the dull blue of late afternoon to the vivid pinks and oranges of sunset, and later to the deep violets of dusk and eventual nightfall. I ignored the way that I grew colder once the sun fell. I also ignored the way that I was being childish, far more childish than I should have. Hell, I was acting like more of a child now than when I was an actual child.

The worst part was deciding how best to go back inside. I'd just ignored my responsibilities and ran away. The wind rippled through the field coming towards the house, and I braced myself for the sudden wave of chill. It came as expected, but I closed my eyes as I focused on not shivering. Despite being cold, my body refused to move. Just too stubborn, I suppose.

At least the view was pretty, as I wallowed in my thoughts. The moonlight was reflected in the clouds that drifted by. There was a full moon tonight, its ghostly blue light dancing over the landscape. I sighed. Why was I so damn stubborn?

Just as I was about to get up and head inside, stalling only for lack of ambition to actually put the energy in and stand up, I heard footsteps behind me. They were slow, obviously Levi's, and I drew in a breath and tried to mentally prepare myself for what was to come. There had to be more verbal lashings coming, it had to be, otherwise, why would he-

A blanket was carefully draped over my shoulders and back. I turned my head to look back at him, only to watch wordlessly as he stepped around the bench to sit next to me. There was a cup of tea in his hands, and he didn't need to do anything but hold it out for me to know that it was for me. I took it gingerly, my fingertips just brushing over his as I did.

There was an awkward kind of silence between us then, one that we didn't experience often. "Sorry if it's cold," he said, after I'd taken my first sip. "The brat didn't want to go to bed."

"She never does," I said with a light chuckle. "But thank you."

"I know you didn't eat," he said, his voice quiet. "There's a plate for you on the table, if you want it."

"Thank you again," I said, my voice no higher than his. We lapsed into another silence as I sipped my tea. He glanced down at his lap, then up at the sky. I watched his movements closely in my periphery, wondering what he wanted to do if he was this antsy. He swallowed, then brought his hands into his lap and looked down at them.

"It's cold out," he muttered, having finally decided what to say. "You shouldn't stay out here much longer."

"I won't," I replied. "Don't worry."

He nodded slowly. His eyes drifted over to me, but I kept my gaze forward. Another few minutes of that odd silence continued. I could feel his gaze trailing over me, but I quite frankly did not know what to do.

Should I swallow my pride and apologize? No, because that would give him the idea that I wasn't firm in my decision to go. Should I give him the silent treatment? No, of course not, because I couldn't ever do that. I loved him far too much.

"Did you mean all that you said?" He asked suddenly. It caught me off guard, and I found myself turning my head to meet his gaze, only to find that it had lowered to the ground. "About feeling worthless?"

"Yes," I admitted. "It's something that I've always felt, just never really realized what it was until a few months ago."

"When?"

"When I visited El," I told him. "And I actually had to think about all that happened and how little I actually did." I honestly thought that all my tears were spent by now, but apparently, they weren't because another slipped down my cheek. But I smiled at him, and when he met my eyes, his pair widened. "I'm alright, though."

"No," he said, shaking his head. "I can tell you're not. Why do you refuse to let me help you?"

"Because-"

"Because I've done more than you? I've gone through more? Is that it?"

"I..."

He sighed as I trailed off, unable to even come up with something to say. "Amaya, I don't know where this is coming from, but you're not useless. Didn't I tell you this before?" He waited for my slow, hesitant nod before he continued. "You're a good soldier. I don't care if you weren't the one who cut the hell out of Annie or Zeke or any of those idiots, because you're strong and smart and fast, and you know this."

"Yeah, but-"

"No buts. You've killed a shitload of titans, haven't you? And you're a leader, and a damn good one at that. I'm the hardass, and you're the one they feel comfortable talking to." Even his eyes were watery as he regarded me. "You told me that you and Erwin talked about me, right? Would it surprise you to know that we talked about you? And not just because you're my wife."

"T-Then what...?"

"Because of the higher-ups, you were the one that people went to the most for advice, and questions, and just to talk. We all know that being a soldier fucking sucks, Amaya. But you made people smile." He chuckled. "Look at you, brat. Crying because you think you haven't done anything, when you were the one that kept people smiling, even as they died. And over the past four years, you've given us plenty of smiles, darling. We'll be alright without you for one more battle."

"B-But Levi, what if..." I took in a shaky breath, trying to control my breathing. "What if what happened at Shiganshina happens again?"

My voice cracked, I hiccupped, and I sniffled. I was such a mess right now, and yet, he still looked at me as though I was the prettiest thing he'd ever seen. The love he held in his eyes just for me... I just couldn't stand it, not while I still didn't believe that I deserved it.

"It won't," he said. And for half a moment, I wanted to believe him. "I know it must've been scary for you. Being the only scout left, seeing one hundred leave but only nine returning. And you were pregnant." An airy laugh left me at that, and he joined me. "But I promise I'll come back to you again. I don't plan on dying for that brat Eren. Tch... you nearly did once already."

Ah. My illness. But...

Dammit, I nearly had died for Eren, hadn't I? Not for him exactly, but the worry for him had nearly thrown me off the edge and to my death...

I lowered my head back into my hands, trying to stall the fresh flow of tears at the realization, but it was worthless. Before I knew it, I was pulled against Levi's chest and his arms wrapped securely around me.

"I'm so sorry," I said to him, lifting my head only to set my chin on his shoulder. I pulled myself ever closer, winding my arms around his neck. "Levi, I'm so sorry."

"You've nothing to apologize for," he assured me.

"It's not your fault," I told him. "How I feel... about myself, I mean. It's not your fault. It never was. I don't... I don't know why I feel the way I do, or where it came from but, but I hate it, and..."

"Hush, Maya," he said gently. "We'll handle it together, sweetheart. Why you feel the way you do... I don't get it, either."

I sniffed. "Usually, you offer to beat up any problems I have."

He chuckled. "That's only if it's someone else causing you problems. I can't exactly beat you up, now can I?"

"Well, technically, you can," I provided. "Physically, it's possible."

"Oh, shut up," he muttered, shaking his head indulgently.

"I... Levi, we've been through so much," I said softly.

"We have."

"When is enough, enough?"

"What do you mean?"

"Others would have hit their breaking point by now," I pointed out. "We haven't hit ours yet. At least, I don't think we have. We've never given up, never faltered...

"No," he agreed. "We haven't."

"If not now," I said, "then when? We've gone to hell and back, or maybe worse than that. We still haven't even really recovered from our upbringing, let alone anything else we've seen and done."

"You're right."

"So when will we just... When do we reach our breaking point?"

"Not now," he responded after taking a breath to perhaps gather his thoughts before speaking them aloud. "Not if I can help it."

I nodded, deciding to believe in his words. I knew it wasn't easy for him to say, and even harder for him to believe. But if I believed it, then maybe he could find it in himself to believe it, too.

"When..." I trailed off and cleared my throat. "When do you leave?"

"If we finalize the plans in time," he began to answer, "then in two weeks."

At that, I felt my heart drop into my stomach.

"That's so soon... When were you going to tell me this?" I asked. "A-And Emi, she'll need to know-"

"I know," he said. "Planning has been frustrating. There's a lot logistically that we haven't been able to figure out. But I was going to tell you tomorrow, regardless."

He lifted a hand and went to wipe a stray tear away, only to stop his hand just before he could. He looked hesitant. I made the decision for him, taking his wrist gently in my hand and pressing his palm to my cheek. He let a small smile grace his face as his thumb swiped underneath my eye gently.

"You'll be going to Liberio, then? I-In just two weeks? Is that the plan? Is that what Eren wanted in his letter?"

"That's right," he said. "By the end of next week I'll be back at the coast preparing." That was a lot sooner than I'd anticipated. It must have showed in my face, because he said, "I can show you the plans, if it will make you feel better."

It would. Knowing what the plan was would make me feel better, and at the same time, help me find a way to sneak aboard. Not that I would tell him that, of course.

"I'd like that," I murmured. "Just knowing that there is a plan would make me feel better."

"Actually," he said, drawing away from me to he could look me in the eyes, "an extra set of eyes might be just what we need to finish planning and work out the kinks."

"You mean...?"

"I'll show you the plan, and Eren's letter," he told me.

"Good, then," I breathed out. "And... I'm sorry. I didn't want to fight right before a battle, but I just... I couldn't help just letting it all out."

"I know," he said. "Can I hold you?"

"Of course," I said softly. I leaned into him and set my head on his shoulder as his arms wound around me. "Promise you'll stay safe?"

"I will," he assured me. "Just like before, and just like I always will. I'll come back to you, safe and sound."

I smiled. "I didn't even have to twist your arm this time for you to say those damned words," I teased.

"Yeah, well, whatever," he muttered embarrassedly.

What he didn't say, he didn't need to say, because the words he meant to say were obvious. This might very well be their last battle. This might very well be... his last battle.

Going to bed that night was strange. I was still, for the most part, upset with Levi. I still loved him to death, and no fight would ever change that. But I was still frustrated with him because after everything he hadn't listened and was adamant on me not going.

I wasn't going to give him the cold shoulder or anything, but that night he seemed unsure when we got into bed and slid over almost hesitantly before putting a gentle hand around my waist. Wordlessly, I slid back until my back was flush against his chest.

As upset as I was, I wasn't selfish enough to make him sleep alone before a big mission, even if I was sneaking my way into it. I was still worried for him, and I knew that before any mission, his need for gentle love and comfort increased. If I could put my pride aside for anything, it was for him.

So when his nose brushed against my neck, pushing my hair aside, I let him. And when he asked if I could hold him, I did, turning over in his arms to take him into mine. When he slowly eased me onto my back, and he followed to lay his lean body atop mine, I let him, tightening my grip and pressing gentle kisses to his hair. And I let him sleep, even as I remained restless.

It was that impending anxiety about a battle that I always got, but it was multiplied because of how little I knew about it. I stayed still as the hours ticked by. At least Levi was asleep, and rather peacefully at that. I ignored my numb limbs, rubbing his back gently.

It wasn't like he needed me to, but more so that I wanted to. I'd been unfair to him. I didn't want him to think he was leaving so soon after a fight. At least we still had this time, because I knew that he'd be fuming once he saw me at the mission. I'm not sure how late into the night it was, but Levi eventually stirred, lifting his head and opening his sleepy, heavy-lidded eyes.

"Maya?" He muttered quietly, his voice gruff. "Are you awake?"

"Yes, baby," I said, keeping my voice low. "I'm awake."

"You should be asleep," he said.

"Yes," I said with a smile, "I know."

"So sleep."

"I'm trying, love," I said. I could just barely make his face out in the dark, but with how close we currently were, I could see the slight movement of his eyebrows as they furrowed.

"Are you not comfortable?" He shifted slightly. "I can move."

"You don't need to," I assured him. "It's not that. I'm just nervous, I suppose."

"Nervous about what?" He asked. "About what we talked about earlier?"

"Yeah," I admitted, "but more than that. I'm nervous for all of you, of course, but also about Eren. He's been away for so long. I just hope he's okay, and that he's not biting off more than he can chew by picking a fight now. This is literally going to jumpstart the war. You do know that, right?"

"Yeah," he said. "I know."

"I'm also worried about us," I said. "As a family. Wars are tough. I just hope we all make it out alright."

"We will," he said. "I know we will."

"I wish I had your confidence," I said sadly. "But if you believe it, then it has to be true, right?"

"That's right," he chuckled. "Have I ever lied to you about anything like this?"

"No," I answered. "Though I'd like to think that you've never lied to me, ever."  I smiled at him, then lifted my hands from my back only to set them on his cheeks. "Now come here, love. I was bratty and didn't give you a goodnight kiss, right?"

"Mm-hm," he hummed. "Maybe that's why you couldn't sleep."

"Maybe," I murmured. He propped himself on his elbows that he lowered to either side of my shoulders so he could pull himself closer. Our lips met, gently and lovingly, and I realized how much I'd missed it today. When he pulled away, he lowered his forehead to rest against mine.

"You know you don't have to worry about me, right?"

"I know," I said. "I just can't help it."

A quiet chuckle escaped him. "You damn woman."

And with that he leaned in to kiss me again. One of his hands drifted down my side and tucked under the small of my back, a silent request to arch into him, which I did. He slipped his arm under me, only to pull me with him as we rolled over. This was a late-night make-out session, through and through, but there was a different meaning behind it tonight.

Apologies passed between our lips, loving words dancing on our tongues. I could feel the regret on his teeth and I'm sure he could feel it on my own. Love was pouring out of him and I drank it all in. This was assurance, this was repentance, this was love.

When at last we pulled away, breathless, he smiled up at me. "Sleepy now, brat?"

"I think so," I chimed. I pecked his lips again before sliding off him, cuddling against his side. He fixed the blankets over us, then pressed one last kiss to my temple. "Goodnight, darling."

"Goodnight, my love."

—

The letter asked for me, specifically. How they could have read that, and still had not allowed me to see it, was beyond me, but I was reading it now.

"Show to Amaya," it clearly read at the beginning. But whatever - as I read it, then went over a hundred maps and notes and the information Eren detailed, things fell together in my mind. But there was some information that was damn well surprising to read: He was in Marley.

This boy sent everybody into a panic, and just sent a cute little letter explaining that he was in Paradis, but that wasn't all. He wanted us to come get him. He was in Liberio, one of the districts in Marley, one meant for Eldians, and the Tybur family was preparing a festival of some kind. He asked us to come crash the party.

No, that's not right. He demanded that we did.

We could take them by surprise. Eren sent freaky amounts of detail about the military personnel that would be present, including their standard issue weapons now. We went from having absolutely no information on what Eren was doing, to suddenly having a scary amount of detail, and it was all too clear of what exactly he'd been up to while he was away.

And holy shit, did he make a damn good spy.

With bits and pieces of a plan in my head, ways to logistically make it all work, I penned a letter to Hange listing it all, explaining it all, and describing everything in a way that I hoped made sense. I wrote on the maps, planning routes, checkpoints, places we could stop to set up small, temporary resource depots to replenish blades and gas.

Levi sat at my side the whole time, there to read what I added whenever I sat back to thing. Eventually, my notes grew too numbered to remain on the desk, so I moved them all to the kitchen table. But even that wasn't enough, so to the floor I went. Maps that connected to each other, notes that would require soldiers from here and here and maybe here, a sheet discussing only the logistics of minor alterations to gear based on what roles the soldiers were to have... I did it all.

And Levi sat there with me, watching me work. His eyes would search my work, find my profile, focus on the tea he was making or the small plates of food he prepared for me to snack on while I paused to think.

When at long, long last I was finally done, I stood and backed away from my work. Holes of their plan were filled, the logistics of every single piece of that mission were planned to the smallest detail, and seemingly useless information Eren sent were utilized as effectively as I could possibly manage.

And it was complete. It was comprehensive, it was exhaustive, it was coherent.

I'd done it.

Levi stood beside me, taking it all in with his hands on his hips. "It reminds me of that heist, you know," he said.

"Hm?"

"The heist you planned," he elaborated, looking at me directly. I pried my focus from my plan currently spread across the entire living room floor to meet his gaze. "To steal the gear from the MP's. You got the same look on your face just now."

"You remember how I looked all that time ago?"

He shrugged, looking away with embarrassment. "It was all I could focus on at that moment. You were so focused, so diligent, and... you looked beautiful." I smiled affectionately, and made to speak when Levi did, first. "Will you and Emi come to the coast to see me off?"

"I..."

"What? You didn't think you were going to write yourself in, did you? You're not going, Amaya. That's not an argument I'm willing to have again."

Alright, fine. He didn't want me writing myself in? Well, I hadn't. I hadn't needed to. There was nothing to fix, nothing to edit. The plan hadn't had me in it.

But that didn't mean I didn't leave myself space to go, anyway.