Just like every other time Levi and I decided to anything even remotely intimate, we were interrupted, but this time, we both had already finished by the time there was a knock on the door. It was out of our systems, and we were glowing, but we were good.

Maybe a bit better than good, all things considered.

With a smirk I lifted myself off him and began fixing my clothes. Levi tossed the blanket back over himself, far too content right now to put any more effort in than that. I buttoned my pants and shirt and looked back at Levi, turning in place so he could look at me. With a nod that yes, I was presentable now, I walked to the door and opened it.

It was Jean, who had arrived just minutes before I had left the kitchen to come back here. He'd taken over cooking for me and assisted Hange, promising to let me know when it was ready even though I didn't really ask for him to. I forced a neutral face as I looked at him.

"Hello again, Jean," I said.

"Hello, captains," he said, looking as though he didn't quite believe my countenance was genuine. This was amplified and proved further as his eyes narrowed slightly and he leaned to one side, peering around me. Levi met his gaze evenly, propped up on his elbows as he was, bathed in afterglow -  though I hoped Jean would figure it was just light streaming in from the windows. 

But by the time Jean looked back at me I was smiling cheekily, unable to control my expression any longer. Thankfully, Levi spoke first. "What the hell do you want, kid?"

"Lunch is ready," Jean said, eyes searching mine. "We're setting it up outside in the courtyard, if... if you want to join us."

"Thanks," I said, closing the door with a smile. "See you in a few!" As soon as the door was closed, I turned back to grin at Levi. "We're getting good at this."

He sat up, leaning back on one hand as I sifted through his clothes to prepare a clean set for him. "It's unfortunate we've had to," he said, tossing the blanket off him to stand up.

As I folded a shirt to add to the pile for him, I watched him approach out of the corner of my eye. He stepped right over his discarded clothes to stand at my side. I placed the shirt down onto the pile I'd made and lifted the whole pile up, offering it to him.

He took the clothes from me and when he turned to head into the bathroom to get ready for the day, I simply couldn't resist the urge to smack his bare ass. He jumped slightly, not expecting it, and I adopted an innocent look when he turned to glare at me, cheeks ablaze.

"Amaya."

"Yes, baby?" I asked, trailing a hand across his back as I walked round him towards the bed. I picked up his discarded clothes and tossed them into our hamper. When I began making the bed, he continued to glare at me. "Sorry, I'm in a good mood! What? Don't look at me like that! Aren't you going to go get ready? They're waiting for us, you know."

"Damn you," he hissed. It took all I had to hold my laugh in as I heard him grumble to himself as he headed into the bathroom to get ready for the day.

—

I peered curiously at Eren from between the bars as he mumbled to himself. "What are you doing?" Hange asked.

It was the next day; we were still in Trost, but the heads of the military and Queen Historia had arrived. Right now, we were to collect our two rebels and head over as a unit to the court where our meeting would be held. Eren turned his head, the poor boy looking as though he was still in a daze.

"The Attack Titan," Hange said, leaning against the wall and mimicking the position he had taken up. "Didn't you just do that?"

"No," Eren denied vehemently as Levi stepped forward, reaching into his pocket for the cell's key. He worked to unlock the door, selectively ignoring Hange.

"Huh? He did that, right?" Hange asked, looking to us. "Didn't you three see it just now?"

"Yeah," Armin said, "but that was..."

"See? What was that all about, Eren?"

"No, it's nothing," Eren mumbled, eyes half-lidded. He couldn't seem to focus on anything.

"It's the name of your Titan, isn't it? What were you doing talking to yourself?"

"Enough, Hange," Levi said impatiently. "He's fifteen years old. Everyone goes through a phase."

"Hell," I cut in, "Levi is still going through his." Levi turned his head to send me a look that showed he wasn't amused by my statement, but I certainly was, though Hange still seemed confused.

"Huh? What kind of phase are we talking about?" 

Yep. Hange was still confused.

I stepped next to Levi and dug into his jacket pocket, retrieving the key to Mikasa's cell. I tossed the key to Armin, who began unlocking her cell. Honestly, if we left Levi to do it, it'd take another two minutes, which was in my opinion far too long to take to unlock one door.

"Hange, I'll explain to you later. It's not right with him here."

"Huh? What do you mean by that?"

It seemed Eren finally got fed up enough about his current situation, and demanded an answer of us: "What the hell did you come for?"

Levi finally opened the door then and stepped into the cell. "Get out."

Eren looked surprised. "I'm supposed to be disciplined for ten more days," he protested.

"It's over," Levi said plainly. "Hange just now was punishment enough."

"Come on, kiddo," I said. "Put your sense of duty aside. Don't you wanna get out? Besides, it took Levi nearly ten minutes to unlock the damn cell, it'd take him until tomorrow to lock it again if you really wanted him to." 

Levi send me another look as he exited the cell, followed by Eren. Goodness, I'd be in trouble if I kept pushing my luck with this.

"We had a talk with Premier Zackley, so don't worry about it. If we jail the heroes who toppled the Armored and Colossal Titan, it kinda sends a bad message, you know?" Eren paused once out of the cell, looking at Hange. "Plus, you were defying us morons who let the Beast and Armored Titan get away."

"That's not," Eren began, but trailed off, all of us looking at Mikasa as she left her cell. My eyes widened. The poor girl looked like a ghost. She'd always been pale, but we were feeding them enough, right? "Did you lose some weight? We had plenty to eat, though."

"You seem... good," Mikasa said quietly.

"I guess," Eren said. I fell into step just behind Levi and next to Hange as we headed towards the stairs and did what I could to hide my chuckle - ah, young love, so awkward and so clumsy yet so sweet.

"Let's go," Levi said, interrupting their conversation and my thoughts. "Get dressed quick."

"Where are we going?"

"To an audience," Levi answered plainly, as though that would be answer enough.

I stepped in, continuing for him with an easy smile and sense of nonchalance. "Don't look too sloppy," I called back to them as we headed upstairs. "Our beloved queen awaits."

—

Hange and Jean went ahead of us to meet with Queen Historia while Levi and I waited to escort the rest of the kiddos, save for Sasha. She was still injured, and pretty badly at that, but she was awake and recovering. While Eren and Mikasa got ready, I stopped by her room and brought her some food, letting her know that we'd be out for a while but would be back in the afternoon.

She was in good spirits, joking that at least we still had our smart people, our loud people, our strong people – well, almost all of them. She specified that while I was still alive, I couldn't really fight anymore, now could I? I couldn't disagree with her there.

There had been a knock on the door then, Levi calling in to let me know that they were ready to head out. I bid Sasha a good day, reminding her to rest after eating, and left. We were escorted to the courtroom by wagon, and we headed inside quietly. We were led to the room where Hange, Jean, and the queen were. Levi knocked.

"We're here," he called through the door.

"Come in."

Historia turned to face us and stood as we stepped in. Levi set his hands in his pockets as I stood alongside Armin, Eren, and Mikasa. They bowed. "Your Majesty," they said in tandem. I smiled down at them when they did, and when Historia looked at me, I bowed my head to her.

"Good morning, Your Majesty," I said.

"S-Stop it," she said. "It's not an official position yet. Especially you, captain. I thought we talked about this already?"

"I'm a bad listener," I said with a noncommittal shrug.

"So much has happened, hasn't it?" Historia asked, looking at the trio. "But all I did was stare at the south sky from within the walls."

I scoffed. "Tell me about it."

"It's an important duty of yours just to stay alive," Armin protested to the monarch.

"Yeah," Eren agreed, "that's right."

"I'm glad to see you're all acting like usual," Historia said.

"Well, that's," Eren trailed off. "It just hasn't sunk in for us yet."

"Shall we get this going?" Hange offered.

"Yes, let's," Historia said. I helped Hange gather her documents before handing the pile to her and following everyone out the room. We were led to the meeting room after going down some halls and through a set of heavy wooden doors.

There were, to each side of the room, rows of desks facing towards the center of the room, and going down the center were desks meant for us and, on an elevated platform, one meant for Historia, Zackley, and another high member of the brass. To our left were Military Police officials, and to the right were those of the Garrison.

We scouts settled into the center desks, us higher-ups sitting in the front-most row. As soon as I was settled into my chair, and Levi pushed it in, I reached for the pitcher of ice water in front of me and poured myself a cup, offering to pour for Hange and Levi as well.

Levi refused for now, but Hange slid their cup over and I poured them a glass. The quiet chatter in the room died down, and the meeting began.

"The Early Life of Grisha Yeager," Zackley began, reading off the titles of the books Eren's father had left us. I handed Hange's cup to them and they took a sip, eyes fixated on the Premier. "The Extent of Our Knowledge of Titans and Their History. Information About the World Beyond the Walls."

He paused for a moment, looking pointedly around the room before returning his eyes to the pages before him. I couldn't be sure, but perhaps he was ensuring everyone was paying attention? Perhaps so, but perhaps not. He was a hard man to read.

"The only people who know about the existence of these books are those here in this very room," he continued. "These were gained by the efforts of nine of the ten living scouts and the 199 others who are not here today. Today, and in the queen's presence, I would like to assess our situation and establish an agreement in terms of our course of action." Then, he called: "Scout Regiment Commander Hange Zoe."

"Sir." At that Hange stood from their chair, preparing to speak their piece. From where I sat, I could see the determination in Hange's eyes, and pride they took in their new position. I was proud of them for throwing their being entirely into their new job.

"The scouts have lost a great deal, including Erwin Smith," Hange began, and I could feel a sort of somber feel overtake the room - scout or not, Erwin was a great, brave man, one that had touched the lives of many. But some... some more than others. I had the urge to reach out and take Levi's hand, but remained still. Now was not the time.

"But in exchange for the many heroes that we lost, we have retaken Wall Maria and stolen the Colossal Titan's powers," Hange continued. "However, humanity that lives within the walls remains in a precarious situation. It would be a relief were Titans the only monsters we had for enemies. However, the true identity of the enemies we've been fighting are humans. A civilization. You could even say... the world."

It was, of course, all written in the books left behind by Grisha Yeager. It was made plain as day. Last night I had the privilege of getting to read through them as Hange gave them another look, just in case they'd missed anything.

Still, it was a daunting truth, one that I wasn't quite sure how to deal with. How could I just easily accept the fact that the Titans we'd killed were in fact people, made into monsters by a civilization we'd never known existed? Not only that, but they weren't the only people on this world with us. Our world inside these walls was only a tiny part of a much larger whole.

Somehow, I always knew it to be true. It was a thought Erwin had discussed with me often before he died. I'd often let myself dream about traveling the world, seeing things I'd never seen before, meeting people, and experiencing cultures so different from our own. I could only imagine the sights, sounds, tastes, smells, and feelings just waiting for us beyond our walls.

It was as Erwin always believed, and I had considered and feared; the walls protected us from titans but kept the beauty of the truth from us. It was definitely a very pretty thought, to imagine that there was so much waiting for us to come meet it.

But there was always a part of me that didn't want to humor the thought that everything wasn't as simple as we thought. I wanted to believe that we were the only humans and that killing Titans was justified. Letting myself believe that everything was so much bigger than our tiny island made everything now so messy. We weren't killing mindless Titans, we were killing people who were the same race as us, made into mindless monsters by people who wanted to see us killed instead.

It was so much to take in, and yet, it was as if that truth was buried within us all. We all knew it to be true, it had just taken these books to make us realize it.

"According to these," Hange said, "we're a special race called Subjects of Ymir who can turn into Titans. There's also a belief that we may rule the world again. That's why the world wishes to eradicate us Subjects of Ymir for good."

Our truth... was not the only truth.

What we grew up believing was not what everyone else believed. What we were taught was not what everyone else was taught. Hell, what we were taught wasn't even our truth, but it'd kept us blind for so long. We were the unknowing, unsuspecting enemies of the world. I was scared about what that meant for us now. What would we do with this knowledge?

"Mr. Yeager later achieved his mission and entrusted the Founding Titan to his son Eren. In order to wield the Founding Titan's full power, it must be possessed by someone with royal blood. However, even if that person possesses the Founding Titan, they're enslaved by the King's ideals, which only leads them down the path to humanity's downfall."

I blinked and came to my senses. I'd need to stop spacing out.

"That is the vow renouncing war. However, Eren was able to control Pure Titans in the past to escape a dire situation. So, it may be possible even without royal blood for Eren to wield that power as well."

That had been the battle that Erwin lost his arm. What a long two days that had been. Reiner and Bertholdt had revealed themselves to us, had stolen Eren, and we'd stolen him back. I'd just saved Jeremy from a titan when we were faced with another, but the titan had turned away suddenly, sprinting to tear apart one Titan that had been attacking Eren and Mikasa, taking the life of a Garrison soldier - Hannes, if I was remembering his name properly.

We were all taken by surprise when Eren slammed his hands on the table and stood. "It can't be!" I turned in my chair to look back at him, as did everyone else in the room.

"Eren," I said quietly, seeing the weird look on his face. He looked so tired, and yet... Just what had he figured out?

"You scared me," Hange said. "What was that about?"

"U-Uh, I..."

"Please continue, our Titan," Zackley said.

"It's nothing," he said uncertainly, letting me know that it was, in fact, something.

"Huh?" That came from Levi, and Eren sat down as though told to.

"Sorry for interrupting the meeting," Eren said. The poor boy still looked distraught, but I turned in my seat, facing front again. I met Levi's eyes sidelong, hoping I didn't look as worried as I felt.

"Oh?" Hange said. "I see... Right." With one last look at Eren she turned, facing Zackley. "It would seem that he is having a phase of sorts. One where he acts up and randomly yells things."

"Ah, I see," said Zackley. "That's unfortunate. He's that age, I guess."

"We'll have our hands full pretty soon," I piped up, recognizing Hange's effort to play Eren's revelation off as nothing. "They're all around that age."

I could hear Zackley chuckle as I turned my head to eye all the kids pointedly, though nearly all of them smiled at me rather cheekily. Thankfully, Zackley thought nothing of Eren's outburst. "Shall we continue?"

—

"...identity of the Titans who've threatened us are humans. They have the same ancestry as us. We are 'Subjects of Ymir'. Our King erected these walls 100 years ago."

When I entered the room with a fresh pot of tea on a tray, the journalist was relaying what was now made public information at Historia's command. There were four chairs situated around a circular table, but only three were occupied. I set the pot down gently in the center of the table, setting the tray under my arm.

"He then altered our memories using Titan powers and made us believe humanity outside the walls was wiped out. But in fact, humanity hasn't perished."

I stood up straight as Hange began refilling cups. I wasn't part of this meeting, I was on babysitting duty for the kids, but Levi was supposed to be. Instead of actively engaging in whatever conversation was being had, he was leaning against the wall, one lazy hand in his pocket while the other held his cup. He was looking out the window, but as if just noticing I was in the room, he pushed away from the wall and approached the table again.

"When speaking of Subjects of Ymir, they call us this: a race of devils." Levi sat, and I stood at his side, looking across the table as the journalist continued to speak. "In the near future, the enemy will invade our lands to obtain resources. Their plans began five years ago with the attack of the Colossal Titan."

"I know the article is already published, but... Is this as credible as you make it sound?"

"At the very least, it's consistent with the doubts we've had this whole time," Hange said. "I don't want to believe it, either, but it's true."

The older man poured tea for Levi, looking at me with a warm, brief smile. I smiled back at him. "Thanks," Levi said to the man, lifting the cup up, silently offering it to me. I took it from him and took a quick sip, sighing quietly as the warmth flowed through me.

"So? How are people reacting?" I handed the cup back to Levi and he took a long draught.

"It's a bit of everything. Some accept it. Some laugh it off. Some lash out at the military and insist it's a conspiracy theory. As all of you feared, it's become chaotic."

"Yeah, but there's no helping that," Hange said. "The reports are what put food in our mouths. The taxpayers decide what to make of it." Hange considered her next words with a sip of tea. "That's one thing we're doing better than the old King."

"I couldn't be any prouder of all you," the older man said. His words warmed my heart, but I was surprised all the same.

"Eh?"

"Not only as a person of the walls, but also as a fellow working man," he continued. Levi leaned forward, setting his chin in his hand.

"Thank you," Hange said, almost flustered.

"Right," Levi said, and by his tone alone I knew what he was about to say before he even said it. "Next time, whip up an article that pats us on the back."

"Levi," I admonished, batting him on the shoulder. I looked at the older man, offering a smile. "He means to say thank you."

"What will happen to us?" He mused. "Just as we've looked at Titans with fear, with hate, and with the wish that they would disappear from this world, the people of the world see us not as humans, but as dangerous monsters. And as a result, what if this hell only repeats itself? Until the last of us are wiped out, this hell won't end."

"Hey," I said, crouching down. I set a hand on the man's arm. "We're going to find a way to make peace with the world. I'm sure of it." The man looked at me with a funny look, but he eventually smiled, nodding at me. I stood and hoped he didn't see the unease in my eyes, the waver in my smile.

Truth be told, I didn't know if there was a way to make sure that the entire world didn't want to kill us or wouldn't try. But for everyone's sake, we needed to try.

We weren't the Devils the world seemed to think we were.

—

I walked into the reception hall at Levi's side, and as we walked into the room we looked around, looking for familiar faces. The room was filled with people from each of the regiments, but of course, with only eight other scouts aside from us, we were hard-pressed to find them right away.

A few soldiers noticed us walk in, offering polite greetings to us. Levi looked at them in turn, offering short nods back if anything at all, while I smiled at each person who looked our way.

I couldn't imagine that each officer wanted to be here, especially not when the Scouts had for so long been the scapegoat of the Military Regiments. But still, they were here, and that counted for something. In a sea of red roses and green unicorns, our wings of blue and white stuck out.

I kept my head high, even though I knew all too well that they weren't here to celebrate my victory, but those of the Wall Maria Heroes. Still, I wore my wings proudly. I was representing those we had lost in the battle.

I listened in on the many conversations happening around us as we walked, looking for any sign of the scouts. I caught a glimpse of Jean, seeing just the top of his head off to one side of the room. I tugged on Levi's arm, getting his attention. Just as we started towards them, we were stopped by a well-meaning Garrison officer.

"Excuse me," he said, turning to us. The Military Police officer he'd been speaking to leaned around him to see us and smiled good-naturedly. "I heard about you two."

"Maybe be more specific," the Military Policewoman said uncertainly, once she saw the look on Levi's face, eyes narrow and dangerous and likely indicative of future pain for them, if the situation called for it (and perhaps even if it didn't).

"Ah, sorry," the first soldier said, holding his hands up defensively. "I meant about your wedding. One of my commanding officers was there and told us all about how beautiful it was. She particularly loved your vows! So, congratulations to you both!"

"Thank you," I said, leaning as discreetly as I could to see around him towards where I had seen Jean and, hopefully, where the rest of the Scouts were. We were sent in here to tell them to line up, not mingle. "Your kind words really mean a lot to us. But please, excuse us. Perhaps we can continue this conversation later?"

"Er, sure," he said, the woman pulling him away. Similarly, I pulled Levi along, leading him through the hall once more. "Of course."

"If that idiot comes to talk to us later," Levi said as soon as we were out of earshot of the pair, "you'll be the one talking to him."

"You wouldn't stick around to hear him spout more nonsense?" I teased, nudging his shoulder with mine as we broke through the thickest part of the crowd and towards the wall. And there were our scouts, only a few yards from us. They hadn't seen us yet.

"Absolutely not," Levi replied. "You offered to talk, not me."

"I'll be sure to tell him about how much of a sweetheart you are, then," I said as he came to a stop beside a pillar, still a couple of yards from the kids. They seemed to be arguing, and I trailed my next sentence off to listen.

"What the hell do you know about Armin?" Eren seemed to demand of Floch. "Tell me!"

"Nothing at all," Floch answered easily. It wasn't nonchalant, just... easy. His tone wasn't particularly forced, so I could only believe that his words were genuine. "I'm not his childhood friend, and we're not chums, either. But I can still tell you why Armin was chosen. It's because you two and Captain Levi brought your emotions into it."

My eyes widened at Floch's words and I took a step forward, only for Levi to hold me back with a firm grip on my arm. I wasn't there, I didn't know the whole story - but how dare he? How dare he accuse my husband of anything?

Despite my anger flaring up, I stayed put. It wouldn't do me any good to make a scene here, especially against someone who was technically my subordinate, now. Floch, as I recalled, was one of the re-enlisters.

So if I didn't know half of what happened, then he was only marginally better off than me. He was at the battle, but he didn't know even half of what had happened to get us to that point. And hell, because I wasn't there, at least I had the decency to not criticize Levi's decision, no matter what my own feelings on the matter were.

Levi and Erwin were close. That was obvious. Over our years of being in the scouts, they'd grown so very close, it was obvious to anyone. We all knew that the only reason we were able to rise so quickly in rank was because of Erwin's personal stock in us.

At every turn, when the brass demanded him to relieve us of our position, that thugs shouldn't be leading others, he hadn't done it. And it went further. We also knew that the only reason we had the tea we did was because Erwin took notice of it and swindled his way into securing a steady supply for us.

It was common knowledge.

Levi wasn't Erwin's dog, like the brass thought. Their relationship was built on mutual trust and over the years it had only grown in strength. Erwin was like a brother to me, but what he and Levi had went further than that. So even if what Floch was saying was true, wouldn't Levi getting his emotions involved mean that he'd save Erwin no matter what else was on the line?

"You thought the injection was all yours and made a totally irrational decision," Floch went on to say. "Basically, it was too hard for you to let go of someone important."

Ah.

"Hey," Eren said, "you should shut your mouth."

"Eren," Floch only continued petulantly, seemingly not swayed by Eren's words. "Deep down inside, I bet you think you're always in the right. That's why you never gave up in the end... just like a brat that won't listen."

"Eren," Mikasa said, placing a hand on his shoulder, "just leave him alone."

"Mikasa's the one who behaved like an adult," Floch said, almost defiantly. "At least she gave up in the end."

It was true that Mikasa and Eren both had been detained. But was this fair to say...?

Acting like an adult didn't always mean listening to others. But for a soldier, well...

I get it. Perhaps I don't agree, but... I get it. I definitely get it.

"Hey," Jean said impatiently, getting between the two boys with rapidly rising tempers and pushing them apart. "What the hell's wrong with you two? Floch, let's not do this during a funeral for our fallen comrades, all right?"

"What's done is done," Connie tried, "so let's just drop it."

"And you guys," Floch muttered, turning to them now. "You didn't stand up to your superiors. You didn't even stop Eren and Mikasa. All you could do was watch." The boy scoffed. "Medals for what? A funeral for who? You guys better start telling the truth when you go to enlist more recruits."

He was getting the attention of everyone around us, now. I sighed. So much for remaining professional, for maintaining the respect we'd gained.

"That way, you won't get cowards like me joining by accident. What the hell are we supposed to do now without Erwin? Because... even fodder like me... I get that I'm completely expendable, but... Even fodder like me... has a right to decide if it's worth dying for!"

Huh.

Something about that struck a chord in me. I'm not sure what... and I wasn't sure why, but something...

Cannon fodder.

Was that how Erwin saw us? When he looked past who we were as people, I suppose he did. Deep down, I had always known of his selfishness, of his motivations, of his ability to throw people away for the sake of his dream. He'd always done it - which was why he left the final decision up to Levi, because if he left it to himself... Erwin would have forfeited every soldier's life - Levi's included - if only so he could reach his goal.

Floch was right. In a strange, horrible way... though I had signed up for this, even I was, at one point, cannon fodder. Erwin would have so easily thrown my life away, and at one time, he was prepared to and had expected it. 

On our first expedition, Erwin had only anticipated Levi surviving, not me and the others. Farlan, Isabel, and I had been supplementary. If killing us meant that Levi would be left with nothing, that would be fine, in Erwin's eyes, for that would provide him with an indispensable, broken, yet incredibly obedient soldier on his side.

And it was an indispensable, incredibly obedient, even broken soldier that Erwin needed to help bring him to his dream.

Erwin's selfishness against Levi's selflessness...

The man I had once admired against the man I loved.

There were fundamental differences between the two, but I... I was cannon fodder. I was not the strongest soldier, nor was I our most intelligent researcher, nor was I the tactician that Erwin had been.

If I wasn't pregnant, if I had been at that battle, able-bodied and willing... would Erwin have sent me with Levi to go after the Beast? Or would he gamble only on Levi doing it, on Levi being able to do it?

I had a feeling that if I had been there, Erwin would have sent me to my death. I'd have been riding right alongside him. I'd have gotten torn apart by rocks hurtled by the Beast.

I'd have died... without knowing if what I was dying for would be worth it.

As it was, Floch and the other recruits hadn't known at all what Erwin's dream was. They didn't know what he could see, like Levi and I knew. They didn't have the same hope in Eren that we had. So for them to charge so valiantly, so bravely... and for a future they weren't even sure was secured...

There was always the thought that tomorrow was not certain - which in itself was a certainty. Even I knew that. So even with the success of reclaiming Maria's lands, how were we to know if our enemies would not return tomorrow and wipe us all out?

I could only imagine how the recruits had felt.

But perhaps I had more in common with them than I thought.

"Floch is right," Armin said, his voice full of regret, more than I ever wanted to hear in any of their voices. "Commander Erwin is the one who should've lived. I'm not the one who can turn this situation around."

My mouth hung open and I could feel my heart break for the boy. I'm sure his own guilt was bad enough. But to have Floch's, too?

"How can you be so sure of that?" Eren asked. "I really can't say if it was the right decision or not." My eyes widened, because I recognized that lecture. Oh, yes, I recognized it - because I'd been on the receiving end of it plenty of times. "None of us know what the future holds. For starters, have you even seen beyond the walls? What is there beyond the walls?"

Floch didn't reply, but Armin did.

"The sea."

"That's right, the sea," Eren affirmed. "You haven't seen it, right? None of us really know anything! Fiery water, lands of ice, sandy snowfields! The possibilities are endless out there! On the other side of the wall, freedom is..."

Setting his hands in his pockets, Levi walked towards them. "Hey, brats," he called, getting their attention and shutting everybody up all at once. "It's time. Line up."

I came to a stop by his side, smiling at each of them in turn - even Floch, who met my gaze rather uncertainly. Perhaps he felt sheepish, because he was unsure if Levi had overheard all of what he had said or not? Whatever the case, he held my gaze, uncertainly though it was.

"I'll see you guys off," I told them, "but I'll be right up front to watch. I'll be the one cheering the loudest for you."

"You're not... getting a medal?" Eren asked.

"No," I answered simply.

"Why not?" Connie asked.

"You're a scout, just like us," Eren argued.

"The medals are for the heroes of this last battle," I reminded them. "I did not fight in this battle, so I shall not be receiving a medal."

"But," Jean started, but trailed off. "That's not..."

"It's not like you wanted to miss it," Eren said.

"I appreciate it, kiddos, I really do, but it wouldn't sit right with me if I took credit for a battle that I had no part in. Trust me, I'm fine. Now go line up. The baby and I will watch."

The kids reluctantly gave in and started to line up. I didn't have time to feel sorry for myself, not that I wanted to, but even if I did, Levi was there to press a kiss to my temple. That alone made me smile, and when he drew away, he spoke.

"See you in a bit," he said quietly. "Go find somewhere to sit. You shouldn't be pushing yourself like this. Come on, idiots."

I didn't even have time to protest, to remind him that walking was good for baby and mother both, but I found I didn't mind, and I let it go with a fond sort of sigh passing through my lips. The young scouts followed Levi and I watched my scouts go line up just as the announcement was made for the general audience to gather in the throne room to prepare for the ceremony.

I joined the group gathering into the throne room and took my place towards the front of the room on the same side the Garrison was gathered on. I stood at the end of the first row of Garrison officers, towards the inside of the room. Chatter picked back up again but a general hush fell over everyone just a few short minutes later when the queen walked through the room, coming up the steps and standing before her throne.

Historia met my eyes as fanfare picked up and I winked at her before the Scouts walked out, led by Hange. The rest of the Scouts walked behind her in two lines. The hall was quiet, save for the sounds of their footfalls. Everyone watched their entrance, and I could feel pride swell up in my chest as they walked by me. I couldn't wipe the smile from my face even if I tried.

They took up position on the steps in front of Historia, and all at once, stood at attention, as the monarch led a brief prayer for the lives lost, and a eulogy for all the scouts that had died, yet remarking on their accomplishments.

She explained why we'd all gathered, the occasion being of course to honor those that had been lost in the battle to reclaim Wall Maria. Historia thanked the Scout Regiment for its work, its sacrifices, and continued perseverance against enemies few others were brave enough to face. And finally, it was time for the medals to be awarded.

The scouts, as told to by Historia, knelt with their heads bowed. They held their palms to their hearts, the queen doing the same. An official stepped up then, standing next to Historia, the medals resting on a cushioned tray. One by one, she presented the medals to the scouts, starting with Hange. With each next person that received their medal, I could feel my heart fill more with pride and so much joy. I watched with confusion as Eren halted before kissing Historia's hand.

"Eren?"

Still, nothing from the boy. A few whispers rippled up and Mikasa cleared her throat, stirring Eren from his stupor. He kissed Historia's hand, and she moved on. The tension in the air cleared and while concerned for the boy, I continued to look on proudly as each scout received their medals. A few closing remarks from Historia, and the scouts were allowed to stand. As a unit, they about-faced, continuing to stand at attention.

I held back a laugh at Levi's bored look when they faced us. I knew he hated the formality of following such orders, but when we first came to the Survey Corps and were placed into Flagon's squad, he'd taught us the basic orders for situations just like this. He kept his eyes forward like a good soldier, but I knew he could see me from the corner of his eye.

After a quiet moment, I looked around, wondering what exactly we were waiting for. It was so quiet in the hall that if a pin dropped, it'd be loud as thunder. When I faced forward again, I noticed Levi closed his eyes, brow furrowed, and I knew with just that look that he knew what I was up to.

I let out a loud whistle, startling those around me. But I began to applaud, grinning at the scouts, and the rest of the hall erupted into noise shortly after. The cheering was nearly deafening, and now at ease, Levi glared at me. I couldn't quite bring myself to care. I continued to cheer, and it only began to die down when Historia held a hand up. She thanked everyone for coming, then dismissed us in the audience.

I stepped out of the way to allow everyone else to file out but knew all too well that they wouldn't be dismissed until the hall was empty, regardless of who I was. So, with a blown kiss directed towards them all, I let myself be swept into the crowd once again.

—

Levi found himself standing outside of Erwin's office. This in and of itself was not a strange occurrence, no; rather, it was quite common. It was no secret that of all his comrades, Levi tolerated Erwin the most (after Amaya, of course). He might even call them friends, but that wasn't something he would so readily admit aloud, let alone to anyone (though yet again, Amaya probably knew - and if he had to guess, Erwin knew, too).

So, it wasn't the act itself of him being outside Erwin's office that was strange - it was, in fact, the circumstances for his doing so in the first place.

Levi needed help.

Amaya had told him some time ago about the fact that before a meeting, she and Hange had been in his office and she had stumbled in during a rather vulnerable moment for their commander: Hange had dug up Erwin's old love letters, and had been reading them aloud.

Honestly, Levi hadn't thought Erwin was capable of it. Then again, a man as eloquent as Erwin was, and of such high standing, wasn't it sensible for him to be a capable writer? That made a certain level of sense, sure, but Levi didn't give it any further thought - at the time, anyway.

Actually, he found himself thinking about it only weeks later and wondering if he might, well...

This was stupid.

It really was.

Still, he had already knocked, so he was kinda stuck with it, wasn't he? He could've made a run for it, but there were quite a few soldiers milling about right now (something about general meetings between the higher-ups earlier regarding upcoming duties which didn't include himself and Amaya because their duties lied elsewhere, and excluding Erwin as well because he was the commander), and it wouldn't look good if they saw a captain knock on a door and then ditch immediately - especially if that door was that of the commander's.

He either had to come up with an excuse to be here, or come out and tell the truth, but there was no way he could possibly-

"State your name and business," Erwin called.

"Levi," he answered right away and... shit. Usually he'd have said something snarky, he never answered that query with just his name and his business, it was always something like "you know who it is already, bastard", or something like that.

Erwin was too damn perceptive; he would know that something was up.

"Come in," the man called, and so Levi did.

The commander's office was as tidy as it always was, with the only notes of a mess being the stacks of pages piled high on his desk. Fortunately, the man was tall enough to be seen over the top of the pages, but unfortunately, that only counted for when Levi was standing. By the time he rather unceremoniously dropped down into one of the the leather seats before the large desk of oak, he couldn't very well see Erwin at all, and though he didn't say anything, he could hear the commander chuckle, a deep sound that resounded into the far corners of the room despite being rather quiet.

One of the stacks of papers was pushed to the side, revealing the commander once more, and what a sight Levi must have been: slouched in the chair, one leg lazily crossed over the other at the knee, his arms crossed about his chest, and a nasty scowl on his face.

"Levi," Erwin greeted cordially. "You seem more agitated than normal. Is something the matter?"

"No."

"I see."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Well, you're looking at me like I've done something wrong. Is this the case?"

"No."

"I see."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Speak freely, Levi. You never visit without a reason. You bring your own work in with you, bring tea, or bring all manner of complaints about Hange. So, what is it today?"

"I... need your help."

"I see."

"..."

"Regarding what, Levi?"

"It's about Amaya. And..." Levi huffed and turned away.

"You know there's no judgment here, Levi. Are you two at odds?"

"No," Levi answered right away. "Not at all."

"So, everything is well, then?"

"Yes, but..."

"But, what?"

"Let me talk, you busy-browed bastard," Levi muttered. "She's been feeling... neglected, I suppose."

"Neglected? How so?"

"She knows our free time is limited and we can only do so much in the public eye without being detained," Levi spoke, "but she wants to do... more."

"Ah," Erwin said, considering it. "I think I understand. Well, you're right in that there is only so much that I can allow when it comes to certain displays of affection. But I can grant you both time away, if you so choose - though not right now."

"We're too busy, I know," Levi agreed. "But you're... better at this than I am."

"Am I?"

"Don't be stupid," Levi snapped. "You think she didn't tell me about those love letters you wrote?"

Erwin, for a moment, was speechless. He cleared his throat, then shook his head rather fondly. "I suppose it was stupid of me to assume she wouldn't. She and Hange both are bad at keeping secrets."

"Amaya's bad at keeping your secrets, maybe," Levi said easily.

"Yes, yes," Erwin mused. "Your esteemed actress, is it?"

"And a skilled thief, should the need arise," Levi added. The hell was happening to him? Never was he one to indulge so easily in details like this. I mean, underground, admitting someone was a damn good thief was a good way to get yourself killed or make an enemy or two. But now, and to him of all people...

"A good thief, you say," Erwin said. "I'd never have guessed."

"Tch," Levi uttered, glancing away as the memory found his mind's eye easily. "Underground, people had to find what they were good at. Thieving, selling themselves, killing... We only met because she was robbing one of our clients - mine and Farlan's. He was one of our contacts, and a good one at that, and she was running him into the ground."

"And the loss of a contact is a bad thing," Erwin mused. "Or so I assume."

"One who knew as much as he did would be a big loss for us," Levi admitted. "We'd run into Amaya once before, when we stole gear from the Military Police. It was only because of that contact of ours that we were able to do it."

"You'd run into her?"

"Literally," Levi said rather reverently. "I was running and turned a corner. She just so happened to be turning the same one."

Erwin smiled, he could see it out of the corner of his eye. "How cute."

"It wasn't..." Levi huffed and shook his head. "We had no idea that we were our own worst enemies at the time. I was fighting to keep my contact afloat, and she was getting paid to send him under."

"Strange, that," Erwin mused. "Fate works in strange ways."

Levi wasn't sure if he believed in fate, but whatever guided life along, he supposed that was true: it did work in strange ways.

"Farlan was the one who invited her to join us," Levi continued. "Something about us being able to take advantage of her skill."

"And you? Did you support that?"

"No," Levi answered. "Not at first. I wanted her gone."

"So what changed?"

"I grew to know her," Levi answered honestly, then met Erwin's eye. "That gear she had - the malfunctioning one. She stole that directly from a policeman who wronged her. She wanted to fly, so I wanted her to prove herself. Not only did she steal a set of gear, but she stole two, and enough gas to last us months."

"Skilled thief, indeed," Erwin said. "I wish there was a way for us to utilize her talents in this regiment."

"If her gear keeps malfunctioning," Levi said, "maybe you can send her to the interior to steal herself a new set."

Erwin chuckled. "Maybe I can. Now, I quite enjoyed the story, but I'm sure that you didn't come in here to talk about that."

"No," Levi said. "No, I didn't."

"Mind telling me what the real reason was?"

"Your love letters," Levi said quickly, before he lost the nerve to. "Write one for Amaya."

"Hm? Levi, I'm afraid I don't feel that way for-"

"Not," Levi began, then clicked his tongue impatiently. "Not like that. I mean for her, but from me."

"I see," Erwin said. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"I... Why wouldn't it be?"

"You know her better than anyone, and she knows you better than anyone. I'm sure she'll know you didn't write it. Don't you think so?"

"...I suppose."

"I can assist you," Erwin said, "but I think you should write it."

Levi considered it for a moment. "Fine," he finally decided. "But you better not speak a word of this to anyone."

Erwin chuckled good-naturedly. "I wouldn't dream of it. Now, shall we get started?"