One more week. Only one - no more, and no less. One week... until the departure of the scouts for the mission to retake Wall Maria. That's what Erwin told us during our meeting today. The date was set, the path was set, and a million plans, backup plans, contingency plans, and emergency plans were written out, detailed for our viewing.

One week.

The meeting was as arduous as it was long, but it was necessary all the same. We - and I mean the scouts as a whole - needed to be prepared for any possibility we could even think of, and as such, their commanding officers needed to be prepared. Only by preparing us would our subordinates be prepared.

So it was necessary, yes, but it was a lot to take in.

As Erwin continued, reviewing details on final preparations to be made by each of the commanding officers regardless of rank, I drowned him out, knowing that he'd be giving us individualized reports with lists of what we were supposed to do anyway, and if I had any questions, I need only come to him and ask.

Alright, perhaps that was granting myself too much credit, or giving myself a reason that I wasn't really paying attention. While what was stated before was true, the simple fact of the matter was that I couldn't quite focus, not with the way that my mind was racing.

Admittedly, it was doing that a lot, lately.

And admittedly, there was a lot to think about.

One week from today, I would accompany the scouts as they neared what had become Titan territory within our walls - what had once been ours, but had been stolen from us alongside countless lives, territories, farms, and more, by traitors to humanity. One week from today, I would see them off, and from there, I would be in the dark.

And that - knowing that I was not going to be there, that I wasn't going to be part of the action, that I wouldn't know the outcome, good or otherwise, until they returned - was not a good feeling, nor was it one that I was used to.

I was so used to being part of the fighting, being there and being present, being able to protect people or help others, being privy to everything going on and helping to make decisions on the fly.

I didn't like being in the dark. I was a very analytical, observant fighter, and I didn't typically go off on my own. Rather, I would always make sure I was in the middle of everything so I could go help whoever needed it, and occasionally, those who did not. If ever I fought alone, it was because I was ordered to - often to eliminate threats before they could reach the main forces and become a problem. Stepping back into my roots as a thief and into my training in the vanguard, fighting solo wasn't something foreign to me, but it was not something I strove for.

I found strength in assisting my comrades, and found courage in knowing I could help someone other than myself. I was strong and fast, that was indisputable. I could take care of myself, just as every soldier within these ranks could - but the battlefield was unpredictable, and things could change quickly. Someone could very quickly be caught off guard by something, even me. The difference was that I had been raised by a soldier in an unforgiving city where I had needed to defend myself from an age earlier than most, where instinct, intuition, and experience wove together to protect myself.

The way I was raised prepared me for this life here with the scouts. I could react quickly and effectively, and rather reliably, at that. And that made me a valued asset in a team and on my own.

All of this, but I didn't have the same strength that Levi had. I also didn't have the ease he did in battle, so more often than not, I used what strength I did have from simply training and working with him to help others.

Back when Levi and I had our brief stint in the vanguard, we were often tasked with scouting ahead and killing whatever Titans we saw so that the main lines could advance more easily. We'd kill the ones swarming the abandoned bases we stayed in before they arrived to spend the night, sometimes having to fight for hours and even days at a time, endlessly killing the beasts so the rest of the regiment could follow safely.

So far, I'd only ever missed fighting when extremely sick or injured, and that didn't happen very often - so I wasn't used to this. I was so used to fighting through injuries or sickness that it felt weird to be forced to sit out... but this time, there was no getting around it.

There was a precious child growing inside of me, and I wasn't going to jeopardize that just because I wanted to be part of the action, no matter how desperately I wanted to be there. For the sake of my family, I swallowed my pride and vowed to help however I could before they departed. And that went in more ways than one; for one thing, I had to protect my child, and that meant staying away from the fighting, and for another, Levi would be worried sick about me and the child even if I was just with the supply corps this time around.

That's how Levi was.

At his core, Levi would always sacrifice himself for those he loved so they might achieve their dreams, their goals, and live fruitful lives. On the other hand, so many in this world would sacrifice their loved ones for the sake of their own dreams, their own goals, and their own fruitful lives.

It was the difference between the selfless and the selfish.

It was the difference between the man I loved, the man I married... and the man who gave me my orders.

Standing across the table from such a man, though he was my direct commanding officer, was strange. Knowing that Erwin would sacrifice everyone in the room, including Levi - who would work himself to the bone and to his death if ordered to do so, without even a valid reason why - was strange.

It was a realization that I had a long, long time ago. It was clear that no matter how close we were to him, nor how much trust we had in him and he had in us, he was always prepared to send us to our death and he knew that we would.

But not this time.

Fortunately for all of us, I was able to swallow my pride and sit back.

Unfortunately for me, that meant I could not fight it if Erwin did send Levi to his death, all for the sake of his dream - which was ultimately what this mission would seek to achieve. To reclaim Shiganshina District meant to reclaim Wall Maria on the way; to reclaim Shiganshina would mean getting access to the basement of Eren's home, meaning that whatever secrets were held inside would be ours to claim.

Erwin would achieve his dream. But based on these plans, and that incredible intuition he had, even in the best case scenario we might lose many good soldiers.

Listening to him talk, I couldn't shake the feeling that everything would go wrong. Erwin planned it so carefully, as he always did. There was just so much that could go wrong. That wasn't new for anything the scouts did, I knew that. It was a feeling that we knew well, and one that I knew well.

Hell, it was deep-seated into everything that we were made of: our expeditions went wrong, it was just sometimes a matter of how badly.

Even so, every night for nearly two months now I'd been plagued by nightmares where I had to watch everyone I worked with, and everyone I loved, die, in worse ways each night. I never told Levi why I'd been losing sleep, though he had noticed. With as little as he slept at night, there were several times now when he'd noticed when I woke up and would ask me about it. I maintained that it was simply due to the pregnancy, and I would take him into my arms and fall back asleep, hoping each time that he wouldn't feel the rapid beating of my heart, the neediness in my grasp, the uneasiness of my breathing.

He shouldn't have to worry about me when he has a fight to focus on. So, I'd been keeping quiet about it. So long as he was healthy and well-rested, I could handle the long nights on my own. If this mission would be as dangerous as I feared it would be, then maybe I would have to learn to do everything on my own, anyway.

But I shouldn't think like that.

I shouldn't be lost in my thoughts at all, but I was so caught up in my thoughts that I hadn't noticed the meeting was nearing an end, at least, not until Erwin dismissed everybody else but called my name, requesting for me to stay.

"Amaya," he said, effectively pulling me from my thoughts, "please stay behind for a moment."

"Yes, sir," I said right away, staying out of the way while everyone else filed out. Levi was the last to leave, and he seemed reluctant to do so - understandably, for even I didn't know what Erwin could possibly have to say to me of all people right now. As such, he hovered in the doorway.

"Go on," I told Levi gently.

"We won't be long," Erwin said, leaning forward to place his hand on the desk to brace himself. "Don't worry, I'm not persuading her to fight or anything like that."

"Oh, good," I said, relieved.

"Don't take too long," Levi said, stepping out of the office and closing the door behind him. I turned back to Erwin, crossing my arms and waiting for him to speak, only to shift uncomfortably beneath the weight of his gaze and linking my fingers behind my back.

"With everything going on," he said, "I found something that might interest you. You might want to sit down."

Confused, but definitely intrigued, I neared the desk and sat down in the leather chair set before it as he settled himself into his own chair. From a drawer assuredly full of more folders than should be forced inside, he pulled a single report from a stack of files and read it over.

"I was doing some digging for myself once the Interior Police had been apprehended," he began, "just to make sure my suspicions about my father's death were true. As I thought, he had been murdered by them for his pursuit of more knowledge, and for sharing what we believed was the truth."

"It's awful," I said, shaking my head. "Absolutely disgusting. Granted those protections from the royal government or not, if I was in their ranks I could never murder someone in cold blood."

Erwin's eyes twinkled with something not unlike mischief. "And yet you were a skilled criminal."

"I never killed anyone who didn't deserve it," I argued right away. "It's not who I am."

"I know," he assured me. "I know. You've a strong heart, and you protect what you love with all that you have. It's something I admire about you." Well, that was surprising. But before I could thank him, he continued. "I gained access to their records, and something told me to give them another look. With a second glance, I found a familiar name. Do you happen to know an Elwin Ikeda?"

My eyes widened and my breath caught in my throat. It took all I had to nod, to take a gulp of air to speak, rushed though it was. "He was my adoptive father," I said, my voice quiet. I almost didn't want to believe it. Finding his name in their records... I could finally learn who had killed the man who had rescued me, or learn a dark truth about him - but no, he would never join such lowlifes, I knew that for certain.

No, the truth was in my heart before I needed to hear Erwin confirm it; I could finally know why he had to die - whatever excuse people had for murdering such a sweet man.

"I thought so." He reached towards me, and I took the report from his hands with more force than I'm sure was necessary, but I didn't care about that right now. Rather, I scanned over the document quickly. "According to what I found, it seemed he got into some trouble. He questioned the new leadership and didn't want to adhere to the new rules being put in place for your Underground City. He resisted, and therefore could not be trusted, especially considering one of the Interior Policemen was his new boss, leading to his untimely death.

He paused, and my eyes stilled. I almost didn't want to read this.

"I hope this provides some closure for you," Erwin spoke, and I nodded slowly, finally looking up from the document.

"To finally know why he was killed," I murmured, unsure of what else to say. I always knew that the old bastard who'd taken over the Underground MPs was an ass who couldn't be trusted, I just didn't know why. But now I knew. At long last...

I lowered the report to my lap to give Erwin my full attention. I'd read it in detail later, but for now, there was a man I needed to express my gratitude towards. "Thank you, Erwin."

"I remember when you told me about him, so many years ago now," he said, setting his hand under his chin, elbow on the desk. There was an amused expression on his face as he added, "Back when you were still trying to kill me."

"Well," I huffed defensively, "you gave us plenty of reasons to."

Erwin chuckled good-naturedly. "Yes, I suppose I did. Regardless, you've become an indispensable member of this regiment and a valuable friend of mine. I wish for nothing but the best for you, Levi, and your child."

If we all live that long, I thought, but didn't dare voice.

Still, I smiled, setting a hand on my stomach. There was the slightest of bumps now... or perhaps I was imagining it, but with each passing day, it became more and more real. No, actually, I wasn't imagining it. This far along, there was a bump, small though it was.

"Thank you," I said once more to Erwin. "I would love for you to be part of my child's life. Working under your leadership has been nothing short of an honor for us both."

Erwin smiled. "I'd like that. Having a child running around the base would be a welcome change. It would certainly bring some well-needed life back into our ranks" He became serious then, leveling an even gaze with me. "Onto the other topic at hand. Do you have somewhere to stay during the battle?"

I was taken by surprise at his question, and at the concern. Then again, maybe I shouldn't have been. Perhaps during the meeting I had been too focused on Erwin's selfishness that I forgot about how deeply he did care for his comrades, myself included. He was a kind-hearted man, but it was his deep-rooted desire to find the truth of our world that meant he would sacrifice it all if necessary, and even if not.

The fact of the matter was, he did care. I couldn't allow myself to be blinded by such concerning thoughts that I forgot about what humanity he did have.

"I was assuming I'd be staying here," I answered him honestly.

"Absolutely not," Erwin said, shaking his head. "All of our able-bodied soldiers will be participating in the fight. If you were here alone, we would all worry too much, not least of all Levi."

"I can take care of myself for a few days," I argued.

"I know that," he replied. "That's not what I'm saying, and I don't mean to imply as such. Is there no one for you to stay with?"

"I have no other relatives," I said, "and neither does Levi."

"Any trustworthy friends, then?"

I scoffed. "The only friends I have are here," I said, "or are otherwise dirt-poor." I shook my head. "I don't understand the necessity of this. Honestly, if my situation and safety during the battle are really that important, couldn't I stay in the interior with Historia?"

"We just don't want you to be alone," he said. "That's how you get into trouble."

"Oh," I said mischievously with a smile, "I get into trouble when alone? What about you men who can't do basic things without me watching over you?"

"Alright," he said, knowing what I was referring to from so many years ago, when he had nearly burnt the base down with his poor attempt at baking - and all for Levi's first birthday, at least the one that we chose for him, anyway. "Fair point. Even so, everyone would like you to be safe and sound while we're away. It would put us all at ease. Myself and Levi aren't the only ones who care for you, and I'm sure Historia would be glad to have you... Oh, boy. You don't look too happy."

"I'd really rather not stay in the interior," I said, almost sheepishly. "I want to send you off for the mission and be close by for your return. The capital is much too far away. And what will you have me do, then? Travel alone to and from the castle? It's such a long trip, and for a woman more pregnant by the day..."

"You make things difficult, Amaya," Erwin said with a chuckle and shake of his head.

"I couldn't possibly ask Levi to go all that way after a mission," I continued to prattle on. I'd have continued, but there was a knock on the door, and we both looked towards the door, surprised.

"Name and business, please," Erwin called out.

"Damien Messer," a voice called out, and I recognized him as a scout who was a few years my junior within the ranks. "A guest is here and has requested to see you."

"A guest," Erwin echoed. "Interesting." Then, louder: "Come in." Erwin stood, putting his hand behind his back, and I stood as well, turning to face the door. The door opened and there stood Damien with a man I didn't expect to see right now - or rather, at all.

My eyes widened and I didn't know how to react. Because the man was a stranger to Erwin, he did know how to react.

"Commander Erwin," the man said, nodding to him as he stepped into the room. "It's a pleasure to meet you." His eyes found mine, and they were eyes I had not looked into for a long, long time. "Hello, Amaya," he said, looking at me with a warm smile.

I now knew how to react, and I did so joyfully. I grinned and ran to him, throwing my arms around him in a tight hug.

"Reyes," I said, elation flooding through me, "oh, god! I missed you!"

"Easy there, kiddo," he said with a laugh, patting my back with one hand. "Easy. How have you been?"

I pulled away to look at him, the smile refusing to leave my face, which was for the best, considering I didn't particularly want it to.

"I've been great," I told him honestly. There was no reason to lie to him, and there was so much to tell him, but where would I start? Where could I possibly start?

Goodness, the last time I'd seen him was... when I lived in the city. I hadn't seen him since joining the scouts, and not even in my brief returns to the accursed place. There was so, so much to fill in for him. He was now as I had always seen him, in full MP uniform with a proud smile on his face. Reyes looked me up and down, pride finding its way into his features.

"You've grown up," he mused reverently. "And look at you, in uniform and all... I can't believe the rumors were true. I heard there was an Amaya with the scouts but I couldn't be sure it was you - not until I heard of her strength. Can't say I didn't expect it."

"Oh, please," I muttered, laughing all the while. "You knew me as a child, how could you possibly say that you expected this?"

"Because your father and I both knew that you were destined for more than that city could give you," he said softly, and the mere mention of my father brought a smile to my face, one warm and reverent and nostalgic for a time long gone. "I still can't believe it, but it suits you. I'm not sure if you even realize it. Looks like you were born to wear that uniform."

He looked at Erwin, then, straightening his shoulders and addressing him.

"Hello, Commander Erwin," he greeted. "I am a Military Policeman, previously assigned to the Underground City."

Erwin walked around the desk, holding his hand out to shake. "It's my pleasure," Erwin responded.

"Previously assigned," I repeated, cutting in. "But not anymore, clearly. Where are you assigned now?"

"I recently reassigned to the surface," he answered. "Trost, actually. Masie has taken charge down there, so it's still in good hands - relatively, and at least for now, because she's talked about retiring for years, now. But please, allow me to say that I am very grateful for all that the scouts have done for the city recently. It doesn't go unnoticed."

"On behalf of the scouts," Erwin said, "we thank you. But we cannot take all the credit, and it was not my idea. For that, you must go see the queen."

"I see," he said, and his dark eyes sparkled as he smiled wider. "That's wonderful. What a gracious young queen we have. Your work has been instrumental, however. The kids were very happy to have met their heroes." He looked at me once more. "Now, onto why I am here. I received some news, Amaya, and I was disappointed to learn that I wasn't invited to your wedding."

I grimaced. "Oh, goodness. Well, I didn't know it was happening until the day of, and I had no say in who was invited anyway, and-"

"I'm only teasing, kiddo," Reyes said. "Congratulations, my dear."

"Another surprise from the queen," Erwin chimed in.

"I also heard wind," Reyes said slowly, turning to Erwin, "that the scouts are gearing up for a big battle."

"Old man," I said sternly, "you are not going."

"That's not what I was going to suggest," he said. "I know my limits. Though I used to be rather good at fighting dummy Titans, I daresay it's too late for me to try fighting real ones, much less ones controlled by people. No, I take more of an administrative role nowadays. Actually, I came to offer my services however else you may see fit, commander. We Military Policemen are rather bored with nothing to do, you see. I have some young'uns willing to help, but not quite reenlist at this point."

"Any help would be wonderful," Erwin said. "We depart from Trost in one week's time. At the moment, we're mostly pressed for resources. We require, as always, more gas and blades."

"I can pull a few strings and get you what you need," Reyes said confidently. "We have quite a stockpile of extra blades and gas if you couldn't have guessed."

"Thank you," Erwin said, bowing his head slightly to him. "There is... one other thing, if you would be so kind as to help."

With how calculated his words had become, something told me I wouldn't like what he had to say.

"Anything," Reyes urged.

"We happen to have a particularly stubborn young woman in our ranks," Erwin said pointedly, "but in her current state, she cannot partake in the battle to reclaim Wall Maria's territory. We need someone to keep her out of trouble while we're off fighting."

Reyes' eyes flickered to me, clear worry in them. "You look pretty able-bodied to me. What does he mean?"

"I'm pregnant," I said easily, smiling at him.

"Amaya," Reyes chastised, "didn't Elwin tell you to wait until you were at least forty?"

"He did," I confirmed, "but there was only so much I could do. He was crazy to think I would've waited that long if I had a husband before then, anyway."

Reyes smiled. "Congratulations again, Amaya. It seems you've got nothing but good news to share. I suppose I have good news, too. I've got a little place in Trost. If you like, you may stay with me there."

"Fine," I said, "but just know that I will be sending them off before the battle. Then I'll join you."

"That will work," Reyes said. "You said the scouts depart in a week, yes?"

"One week from today," Erwin confirmed.

"I'll be around, then, Amaya, with more information for you in the next few days." He saluted. "Thank you, commander. Please, excuse me."

Reyes left the room, closing the door behind him, and I looked back at Erwin once he left. "Is that all you wished to discuss, Erwin?"

"For now, yes," he said.

I set my hands on my hips and faced him squarely. "Alright," I said. "Because it's my turn. Commander, I know you're used to being the one giving orders around here, but I've got one for you."

His eyes lit up mischievously. "Oh? And what would that be?"

"Be careful out there. That's all I ask." Erwin's eyes softened. I looked at him intently, hoping he'd take my words to heart. "Levi's going to tell you not to fight. We both know it. I know him well enough, and so do you."

"You're right."

"His goals are only to aid you get to yours," I reminded him. "He would gladly sacrifice himself if you ask, but he will also sacrifice the good of a mission to protect those he cares about."

"I know."

"But I also know you," I pressed. "You're not going to listen to him. You won't let him jeopardize anything, no matter how hopeless. And that's fine. There'll be no talking you out of it, right? Your dream is too important to you."

"You've always been able to read me well, Amaya," Erwin said, smiling despite the heavy subject. "But you must understand: I've always given my all for the regiment. Being wounded now does not mean I'll offer less of myself for it."

"I'm not saying to give less of yourself," I said with a sigh, crossing my arms over my chest. "Just... try not to die out there, alright? I know I don't have that much power over you to make you promise, but... I don't want to watch everyone come back without our fearless leader."

"I don't want it to come to that," he said, and I knew it was a lie - or at least, he wasn't done yet. The whole truth had not been said... yet.

So, I prompted it myself. "But," I pressed, knowing it was coming but he would be hesitant to say it in front of me.

"But," he repeated, "I am more than willing to make that sacrifice, should it come to it."

I looked past him briefly to look out of the large window behind him. Just what secrets lay beyond, and within, these walls? That was what Erwin wanted to learn. He wanted nothing else in this world other than to learn that truth. To him, the ends justified the means. He was not willing to give his life to propel us towards that cause; very much unlike my husband, who would rather give his life even if that meant we got no closer to that end, but those he loved were saved.

There was no helping it.

"You know a fight will be waiting for you," I said, allowing my eyes to meet his again. "There's no way around it, this time. You're going to face Reiner, Bertholdt, and whoever the other reported one is- the Beast. And I'm sure they'll be ready for you."

"I know," he said. "That's what worries me."

"Eren almost got Reiner once," I said. "If Bertholdt hadn't gotten in the way, he'd have bested him."

"There's just too much we cannot plan on," he said, "because we do not know their limits, nor the limits of Eren's Titan. Right now, we're basing Eren's training on what we've seen the others do. But they're clearly more experienced with their Titans. Where they got their training, and how they know their own limits, are questions I hope to answer. But I fear we'll never find out."

"You're giving the order to kill," I said, and he nodded in affirmation. "I see. I don't think we have a choice in the matter, but even if you did, I think that's the best course of action. They're too dangerous otherwise. Even now, Annie is still in her crystal, isn't she?"

"She is," Erwin said. "That's another thing that worries me. Who knows how she'll be once she gets out?"

"If she gets out," I added.

"Exactly," he said, standing up. He walked to the window, his back to me, his wings borne proudly on his back. "We don't have the leisure of time or knowledge. There's only so much we can do."

"It's frustrating, isn't it? Still, give it your all."

Erwin looked back at me, a smile on his face, one that revealed more melancholy than I'm sure he anticipated. I walked over to him with my arms open, and he indulged me right away. I hugged him close, and with a wistful sort of sigh he hugged me back with his arm. Erwin had effectively become a brother to me over the years I've served under him. I couldn't imagine being in the regiment without him.

"The Survey Corps wouldn't be where it is now without your leadership." I pulled away from him, my chest filling with emotion. I didn't want to think about having to go on without him - but as a soldier, I had to keep that idea in the back of my mind, always. "I know I can't talk you out of going and throwing your life on the line, but fulfilling your dream won't be the same without you here for it. Your fight is not over yet, commander, and it won't be - not for a long, long time."

"No rest for the weary," he said.

"And no rest for the wicked," I added easily. "You've led us to strange places, Erwin. But look at where we are now."

With a watery smile, one laden with tears threatening to slip from my eyes, I hugged him again. My eyes squeezed shut rather reflexively, because I was so overcome with emotion suddenly. I didn't want to lose Erwin. We couldn't.

"You've led us here," I murmured. "Even through everything - through all the hardships, through all the sacrifices..."

How would we move on without him? He was the one who led us here. No other commander had the courage he did. He was smart on and off the battlefield, strong, tactical, yet compassionate. His heart hadn't been hardened by years of battle, of sending people to their deaths in his name.

How would Levi and I spend calm weekend mornings now, without Erwin? And how many hours had I wasted in here, hiding from Levi when he was in a bad mood? And we spent so many evenings here, quietly enjoying tea with him, talking about absolutely everything yet nothing at all. He and Levi would spend calm afternoons together after training, discussing any manner of business.

Goodness, I could imagine it now, Erwin imparting his dreams and visions on my child.

Erwin pressed a kiss to my hair, and I felt my breath hitch in my throat. I wasn't about to lose another member of my family. "It took the hard work of many to get us here," he said. "Yours as well."

"If not for you," I reminded him, "I wouldn't be here, and neither would Levi. We wouldn't be anywhere near here. Thank you for that."

"I should be thanking you."

"No, you shouldn't," I huffed. "Stop being so damn humble, and stop selling yourself short." I pulled away again and stood in front of him, a wide smile on my face. "We dedicated ourselves to this cause because we believed in you, Erwin. We made a gamble - hard as that may be to believe."

Erwin smiled down at me before setting his feet together and bringing his fist to his chest to salute to me. I reached out and grabbed his fist, shaking my head as I guided his hand away from his chest.

"Don't. We salute to you, commander. You... You salute to no one."

—

For the first time in a long time, I appreciated truly being busy. Being tasked with errands around the base gave me something to focus on, other than the impending battle. Even though it meant no more lazy afternoons with Levi, at least for now, it allowed me to get in some time with everybody in the regiment.

I experimented with Hange and was there to help celebrate her triumphs with the Executioner from Hell. We'd gotten so caught up in that, however, that we failed to notice Eren bleeding. Thankfully, Levi had been on top of things. However, I'd felt so bad afterwards, that I'd treated Eren to a quiet lunch away from everybody else under the guise of extra training.

Everyone was back congregated in the base by now, preparing almost overwhelmingly. It was a lot to take in. There were supplies to be sorted and counted, meals to be made while we were still here, reports to write, training to be done, briefings to be had, and so much more. When I collapsed into bed every night, Levi dropping down next to me only seconds later, it was almost dizzying to think about all the work that'd been done that day.

Erwin came by every morning, leaving a list for Levi and I with separate tasks for each of us, each a mile long at least. We couldn't have lazy mornings in bed, but we'd found a new normal in a quick kiss before leaving the office for the day.

Whenever we passed by each other, if we were alone we'd sneak a quick kiss and nothing more, but if others were around, we knew we had to maintain the face of professionalism and so with a smirk from him and a blown kiss from me, we'd continue on in our separate tasks.

This was almost like squeezing five expeditions into one, and we weren't even leaving the walls. There were no supply carts, no abandoned bases to secure and occupy. No, there was one destination in mind, and they'd have to travel swiftly, quietly, and efficiently to get there, keeping Erwin's plans and backup plans (and that meant all of them) straight.

One day was occupied by a spontaneous trip to the Training Corps grounds to meet with Commandant Keith Shadis, and it seemed that the stick that he'd had up his ass years ago had not been removed, not that I could tell. But today, for the first time, I saw some of his walls fall.

The whole trip brought back memories, because Shadis had, obviously, been the commander when we first joined the scouts. He wasn't particularly happy that Levi had been brought in alongside Farlan, Isabel, and I. Really, he'd only heard the rumors of Levi's skill from Erwin. So, when Erwin returned with not just the one thug, which was already bad enough, but four thugs, he hadn't been too thrilled. He'd come to see our strength though, putting us briefly in the vanguard before resigning, at which point Erwin transferred us to become captains.

I had never asked why exactly he had resigned, but the story he told made it clear. He didn't think of himself as someone special. At least, not anymore. The weight and pressure of being Commander had gotten to him. His grand ideas weren't working out. I felt bad for him, but if not for him stepping down from the position and entrusting the Regiment to Erwin, we might not have gotten here. Not when we did, anyway.

That afternoon had been the laziest we had the chance to be that entire week. It was a nice reprieve from all of our other responsibilities. Each day that week, we all were up and running at daybreak, working throughout the day only getting lunch when we had time to, which was rarely ever at the same time, until dinner.

Dinner was always nice, because it was at the same time every single day, and everyone was there. People would linger longer than usual in the mess hall, going from table to table, chatting. That marked the end of the day for the main forces of the Scouts.

Erwin's mind never stopped racing, and neither did Hange's. Levi and I were the same, along with every other squad leader and captain. We were exhausted but worked ever harder to make sure everyone was as prepared as possible for what was to come, such was our responsibility.

But I appreciated the work.

We hadn't told the main forces yet when the plan was to begin. Instead, we were waiting, because with a long time to think about it, many Scouts would begin to warp the plan into impending doom rather than remain hopeful. We'd seen it often. In an attempt to keep morale up, we kept the soldiers in the dark, so no one would get cold feet.

Darius Zackley invited us one afternoon to meet with him, regarding the serum Levi had been given by Kenny. Before he died, Kenny had entrusted him with the serum that, if injected, would turn someone into a titan. If that titan ate somebody with titan powers, ingesting their spinal fluid, those powers would be inherited. It was a lot to think about. It could not only bring somebody back from the brink of death, but also steal away firepower from the enemy.

Erwin, Levi, Hange and I went to see him, along with Commander Pixis, the responsibility of the serum weighing over us almost as heavily as the operation itself. There was a single circular table in the room, with only two chairs set out. Erwin, Hange, and Pixis elected to stand beside the table, and Levi stood broodingly by the wall, so I took one of the chairs, leaving the other for Zackley, if he so chose to sit. Zackley was the last to arrive, the four of us already in the room. All was quiet as we waited, so it was a shock to all of us when the door finally swung open.

"Sorry I'm late," he said, striding into the room confidently. The serum was already placed on the center of the table we were situated around. He settled himself into a chair, and I watched his actions closely. "Well? Have we discovered what's in the container?"

"The thing is," Hange began, picking her words closely, "with our technology, I'm afraid we can't dig much deeper. Like we've heard from Eren and Historia, it seems to originate from some sort of human bodily fluid. However, it vaporizes when exposed to air, making analysis difficult. Whoever made it must have had technology far superior to ours. If it was the Reiss family, I can't imagine how..."

"Hmm," Pixis hummed, considering it. "In that case, instead of tampering with it, we should use it to achieve our current objective."

"But who do we entrust it to?" Zackley asked. "Erwin, to you?"

"No," Erwin said quickly, clutching his empty sleeve. "I'm no more than a wounded soldier. This box belongs with one of our elite soldiers who had the best odds of survival." I noticed Darius' eyes dart between myself and Levi. I couldn't meet his gaze, so I looked across the table past him to Levi. His head was bowed slightly, eyes on the floor in front of him. "Levi, would you keep it?"

Levi finally looked up, looking at Erwin. "If it's an order, just say so. Why even ask the question?"

"We can't predict in what situation we'll have to use this," Erwin said. "We'll be relying on you to make a decision on the fly. Judging when and who to use it on will be for you to choose. Can we leave that to you?"

"If this dream of yours comes true," Levi asked, "what will you do then?"

"I... don't know." Erwin's tone was earnest. "I won't until it happens."

"I see," Levi said. "Alright. I'll do it."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Another burden placed on his shoulders. Sure, I understood the reasoning, but he could only do so much. Why didn't everyone realize he was only human?

"By the way," Zackley said as Levi closed the box and tucked it into his pocket, "I'd like to unveil that work of mine soon." I opened my eyes in shock. The monstrosity he was creating, he wanted to display that? "Have you given it thought?"

"You still haven't given up on that?" Pixis asked. "If the public saw that repulsive display, trust in the military would hit rock bottom."

"You don't know art when you see it," Darius protested. I leaned back in my chair, pinching the bridge of my nose between my forefinger and thumb. I let out an exasperated groan. It really was revolting to even think about. At the sound, Darius looked at me. "Amaya," he said, and I released my nose, opening my eyes, only moving them to look over at him unamused.

"Yes, Zackley?"

"I've always considered your strength to be equal to that of Levi's, yet you weren't considered for the serum. Are you not fighting in this upcoming mission?"

"I'm not," I answered, minding my manners not only for someone who was technically my boss, but as the man who had been El's personal hero (and I was happy he had never seen this side of him).

"Might I inquire as to why that is?"

"Ask me again when you're not currently working on humiliating a man with his own shit and calling it art," I said, narrowing my eyes at him, but Zackley took it in stride and chuckled.

"Alright, alright," he relented, before moving on to the next topic at hand. Honestly, I was happy about it; talking about business was better than thinking about his "art". Anything that could get that mental picture out of my mind, I would be grateful for. So when we started on more formal, boring, mind-numbing business... for the first time in a long time, I actually paid close attention to it.

—

I found myself walking towards the mess hall alone, trailing after Hange and the other Corps higher-ups as they chatted on their way there. I slowed to a stop, realizing Levi had stayed after with Erwin. We'd just had our final meeting. There were two days until the operation began. We were to tell our Squads today, and a feast was in the works for the night before they left.

The past few nights, Levi and I hadn't spoken much. There wasn't much to talk about. We were busy, tired, and worried, in my case. I knew Levi was worried too, but he wouldn't tell me that. We hadn't brought up the conversation we'd had regarding the possibility of him not returning, not since that evening. But we both knew it was on both of our minds.

And I knew exactly what Levi was up to. I was sure that if I walked back into that office now, Levi would be in the middle of trying to convince Erwin to stay. It was a hopeless venture. We were all stubborn and like-minded, so it seemed.

"Amaya," I heard, and I looked up and grinned as Hange ran back to me. She clung to my arm, pouting at me. "They're teasing me."

I gasped exaggeratedly. "I can't believe the audacity. I, for one, think it's really very cute you used to have the hots for Keith."

"Amaya," she whined, "not you too!"

And a short while later...

Well, I could hear the dinner bells from where I sat outside. Already, I could hear cheering and yelling, and I winced at the reminder that they were serving meat tonight as a special treat.

"Levi," I called, and turned to see that he was already coming back over towards me.

We'd been outside for at least an hour now, both of us miraculously finding free time and finding each other. Situated near the point at which they'd depart for the mission in Trost, Erwin had bought meat from the Reeves Company for a grand meal to raise everyone's spirits.

Levi and I had made our way to a quiet little courtyard to waste some time, disturbed by nothing more than birds and the occasional passerby. I stood as he approached. He'd decided out of nowhere, just a few minutes ago, that he needed to find something. That had confused me. We didn't live here, we hadn't spent too much time in Trost. So what was there to "find"?

Well, it was a flower.

He must've seen them before we came outside, because he had made a beeline for them and had picked one. When he returned to me, one hand in his jacket pocket and the other holding the flower by his side, I greeted him with a smile.

Before I could ask what he'd picked it for, he put it in my hair, just above my ear. My eyes widened at the action but I grinned, pressing a kiss to his cheek before he could pull too far away.

"Let's go eat," he said, taking my hand in his before leading us inside. We scanned the area, looking for a suitable place to sit. They hadn't served the meat yet, which was a good sign. That meant we hadn't missed it.

When teased with a hearty meal, the Scouts often went wild. I only hoped no one would hurt themselves now before the real battle began.

Scouts were filing in steadily, and I rose up onto my toes to better look for Erwin, Moblit, Hange, or really, any of the other higher-ups. Spirits were high, that was made clear by the excited buzz filling the room. People were joking and chatting, singing and laughing. I finally caught a glimpse of Erwin, and I tugged on Levi's hand, leading him behind me, weaving through the crowd of excited soldiers.

We finally made it to the table Erwin was at, and a little further down, there was Hange and other captains. I smiled as I sat down next to Erwin, Levi next to me, and it seemed that we got there just in time. The workers hurried to bring the platters of food out, and I felt my mouth water as the scents filled my nose.

Pints of ale were handed out, but I refused mine. Surprisingly, Levi accepted his, but it'd shocked me considering he'd never been a heavy drinker anyway. Erwin took charge and began cutting the roast in front of us, and I assisted him, reaching over to help steady the plate as he cut the roast, and everyone at the table watched with bated breath as we did.

He plated the meat and we passed it along until everyone had a plate. Erwin raised his cup to us, and with smiles and toasts and well-wishes, we began eating. It seemed as though everyone had forgotten their manners at the door today, opting to stuff the food into their mouths without cutting it further.

I opted to be civil, though, as did the two men on either side at me. Further down the table, though, well, they just forked the meat and brought it to their mouths, but at least they weren't Sasha, a few tables down, who had bit into the entire roast.

"Amaya," Erwin said, smiling down at me, "that's a lovely flower, but where'd it come from? Might I chance a guess?"

"Compliments of Mr. Romance himself," I said, smiling and leaning back so he could see Levi. Having heard me, he rolled his eyes, continuing to chew his food. He swallowed and leveled an even look with me.

"Would you rather it if I took it out, brat?"

"Oh, no, of course not," I said, smiling at him and cutting another piece of meat. I picked it up with my fork and took the bite as Hange piped up.

"Amaya," she called loudly, "here's to the health of your baby!"

I sighed and closed my eyes. Her words had gotten the attention of people all around us, all adjacent tables looking up at the commotion through their arguments over the food. "Thank you, Hange," I said, opening my eyes to smile at her. She'd been so excited when I told her, but I hadn't expected her to toast to me here. I wasn't the priority right now, was I?

"Captain," Armin said, leaning so he could see me from where he sat, "you're expecting? Congratulations, both of you!"

"Thank you," Levi spoke first, surprising me.

"Wait, you're pregnant?" Eren asked me, face reddening. "You're gonna have a baby?"

"Yes, Eren," I laughed.

"Congrats, both of ya!" Connie called out.

"Congratulations," Mikasa said, a small smile on her face.

"Congrats, captains!" Jean said.

We were met with well-wishes and congratulations from all around us, and for quite a few minutes, I couldn't continue eating because I was too busy thanking everybody. When the excitement about the news seemed to die down, ripples of new conversations sparking up, I sighed and looked at Levi.

He was still eating, the chewing working to hide the proud smile I knew he wore. His eyes were bright, and he glanced at me sidelong. He was happy. Proud. It warmed my heart to see. I continued to eat, listening in on the conversation Erwin was having with another captain.

Levi, not one for big meals, had a few more bites of his food before sliding the rest onto my plate. It was too much for me to eat, even if I was eating for two, but I appreciated the gesture nonetheless. He placed a hand on my thigh, his thumb rubbing back and forth soothingly. And that's how we remained, for the remainder of the meal.

The scouts were rowdy, as expected, but it was all good fun. I did a lot of listening, not quite having much to say. I was happy to just listen and laugh and enjoy the stories the others told. We weren't that much further into the meal before there was a sudden commotion, and I sighed when I saw it was our dipshits getting into a bout in the middle of the hall.

Eren and Jean were punching the shit out of each other, and I wasn't surprised when Levi stood up to deal with it, knowing damn well that they weren't going to resolve it on their own. I set my chin in my hand and watched as Levi took care of them. With one swift hit each, they were down for the count, and I smiled.

"That's your husband," Hange teased through her chewing.

"That's my man," I agreed wistfully. Levi stood up straight as the boys writhed in pain. It served them right for causing a scene and disturbing the fun atmosphere.

"You're all too damn rowdy," Levi said simply. "Go to sleep." Jean threw up in response, spilling the contents of his dinner onto the floor. He turned away in disgust, saying to the rest of them, "And clean that up."

"Yes, sir!"

One look from Levi, and I stood up, meeting him in the space that had been cleared once Eren and Jean were carried away. Someone got to work cleaning up Jean's mess and I thanked them as I passed by.

Levi and I joined the stream of people leaving the hall, a lazy arm thrown over my shoulder, as we headed towards the temporary barracks and living quarters. A small bedroom had been assigned to Levi and me, with a small bed and not much room to move around. I didn't mind, really. We weren't here for long.

It was dark outside now, the air deliciously cool. "I'm going to take a walk," he told me once we were outside. He pressed a kiss to my temple. "Don't wait up. I won't be long."

"Don't stay up too late," I said. "There'll be no time for a nap tomorrow." I kissed his cheek, letting my lips linger for an extra second before pulling away. "I'll try not to wait up, but no promises."

Levi chuckled, pulling away and walking off alone. I watched him go but decided to head inside once I began to stifle a yawn. He would be alright - and I would be waiting for him when he decided to turn in, ready to take him into my arms with a kiss and hushed words meant only for his ears to hear...

And I would have to try very hard to try to ensure myself that this would not be the last night I would get to do this.

—

My eyes fluttered open the next morning as the sun's early rays invaded the window, trying to blind me. I sucked in a breath and let it out slowly, sinking further into the pillow. As my senses woke up, I noticed I was holding Levi in my arms, my chest pressed to his back. My hand had found its way under his shirt, pressing to his bare abs. Ah, my favorite set of abs to hold.

I drew myself closer, closing my eyes. This close, I could feel the pounding of his heart and I let its rhythmic beating and his warmth lull me back closer to sleep. Levi stirred then, breathing quickening slightly as he began to wake up.

He let out a groan as he woke up, stretching his legs even though they were still tangled with mine. "Amaya," he said quietly, voice deep with sleep, and I hummed simply in response. "You're up."

"Mm-hm," I hummed again, rolling onto my back, eyes still closed. He rolled over, taking care to do so in place so he wouldn't crush me.

"Good morning," he said once he was facing me. I opened my eyes, gaze traveling lazily up his body to finally meet his eyes. I smiled.

"Good morning," I replied. Propped up on his elbow, he continued to look at me, tired eyes meeting mine intently. "Always so serious," I said, reaching up to place my thumb just on the side of his lips, pushing them up gently to give him an awkward half-smile. He jerked his head away, a true smirk forming on his lips. His eyes reflected the light prettily, pitch-black hair contrasting startlingly against his pale skin. "How are you feeling?" I asked him.

"Fine," he said simply, and I believed him.

"Good," I said.

Nothing else needed to be said. I ran a hand through his hair, and he closed his eyes, sighing and leaning into my touch. He caught my hand in his before I could return it to my stomach where it had previously been sitting, and pressed a kiss to my palm, holding it to his lips. I smiled, his warmth relaxing me.

"Would you like some tea, my love?"

"Not if it means you have to get out of bed," he told me, and I nearly outright cooed at his cuteness.

"I promise I'll be quick," I assured him. He shook his head fondly, his eyes holding within them so much affection that I could hardly believe - after all this time - that he was looking at me, of all people.

And I was struck with the thought that if everything in today's battle went wrong... I would lose my husband, the husband I'd only just married. Not only that, but my partner, my most trusted confidant, the father of our child, and the man who held my heart.

No. Don't think like that.

"You and your promises," Levi said quietly, his gentle words cutting through my thoughts easily.

"Have I ever broken one before?"

"No," he answered after a moment of silent recollection. "You haven't."

"Good, then," I began. "So, as long as you promise to stay here, then I'll be back before you know it."

He chuckled. "I'm not going anywhere, sweetheart."

"Perfect," I said, sitting up. "Stay here and relax. If I see Erwin, I'll tell him you're not awake yet."

—

Evening that day came far too quickly for my taste. Nerves bubbled up in my stomach as I joined Levi, his horse, Hange, and a few other soldiers on the lift to head up the wall. This was to be a decisive mission. I could only hope that it went in our favor. I held Levi's hand tightly as we went up the wall. I'd already checked his gear and his uniform several times, so this was it.

Once the formation was made, final orders given, checks complete, I'd be left here. Everything would be out of my hands.

It would all be left for the scouts to handle without me.

I couldn't think of anything to say once we were on the lift. I felt weird, not being in full uniform. I was wearing my usual clothes, white pants, boots, jacket, and button-up, but I was not lined with straps, weighed down with gear, and I was not wearing my cloak.

Really, what could I say?

What was there to say?

I'd reminded him enough already to be safe. He didn't need me telling him things he already knew. But I wanted to say something, anything. Just something to break the silence, to give me something else to focus on than my building fear.

But I couldn't think of anything, so I stayed uncharacteristically quiet, holding his hand like a lifeline. He didn't protest, however, instead clutching my hand with just as much urgency. He kept me close to his side, and I leaned towards his warmth.

When we were about halfway up the wall, someone called out for Hange. Squinting, I could just make out Flegel's shape. "Good luck!"

"Flegel?" Hange said quietly in shock.

"Take back Wall Maria for us!" Someone else cried out. "The future of humanity is in your hands!" I smiled as more cheers erupted from the city below us. People were gathered in the streets, on rooftops, standing on wagons, leaning out of windows.

"Captain Levi!" Someone yelled, and we both looked towards the source. "Thanks for saving our city!"

We made it to the top of the wall amidst more cheering, and I stood just behind Levi, hand still in his, when he took his place between Erwin and Hange.

"You all come back in one piece, all right?"

"-But go and reclaim our territory!"

"Someone's got a big mouth," Levi muttered. I set my chin on Levi's shoulder, hugging his arm with my free hand, as I tried making sense of the noise coming from below.

"Well," Hange said, "with the commotion we made, of course they'd find out."

"The thing is," another soldier chimed in, "all that meat we ordered was from the Reeves Company."

"Damn that Flegel."

"Yeah!" Cheers suddenly erupted from a few feet away, and I laughed at the antics of our idiots. Sasha, Jean, and Connie were yelling back, promising to do their best. "You can count on us!"

"You know we will!"

"How long's it been since the scouts got a send-off like this?"

"Who knows? I don't think we've ever..."

"As far as I'm aware," Erwin said, "this is a first." Erwin lifted his arm up, first clenched, with a mighty yell. The crowd responded in kind, and I grinned, chest swelling with pride. He drew a blade, holding it out. "The final operation to retake Wall Maria will now commence!"

No, wait - Not yet!

I panicked, now only with a few precious seconds before everyone took off. As everyone burst into action, I was torn from Levi's side, but found myself in front of my squad. I went down the line of them, patting them each on the head in turn and offering encouraging words. "Good luck, good luck, good luck," I said, "please be safe, all of you!" I grabbed Mikasa's arm firmly, and she looked at me. "Please, Mikasa, do what you do best. And watch the runt, okay?" She nodded and I moved on.

"Eren," I said, grabbing his shoulder, "remember to relax, and breathe, and focus, and you'll be just fine. We all believe in you." I hugged him quickly, ruffling his hair before moving on. I hugged Jean, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "Watch that temper of yours, Jean. Your mind can do great things when you're not angry. And... don't throw up everywhere, please. You're not unwell anymore, are you?"

I moved on before he could react or answer, finding myself then in front of Hange. I hugged them quickly, their smile infectious as they hugged me back. "You keep growing that baby," Hange said, as if I had a choice.

"I will," I said. "You go give them hell, Hange."

"Always," Hange said, running past me then. I locked eyes with Erwin, and I smiled at him. He nodded at me, and I returned the gesture. A quick, silent understanding passed between us. He walked off quickly, far too busy for me to even try talking to him. I watched him go for a few seconds, praying that he'd heed my words from the other day.

When Erwin was out of sight, I looked around wildly, looking for Levi. He found me first, grabbing my arm and turning me to face him. I let out a relieved breath when I saw him and I didn't protest when he took my face into his hands, pulling me in for a kiss. I could feel tears threatening to spill already as I kissed him back.

There was a desperation in this kiss, a desire, something that so many words could never hope to say. Unspoken promises, what-ifs, if only's, I love you's, and so much more poured from his lips and I drank it all in, responding in kind.

There was so much at stake here. Personal feelings aside, this battle meant so much for humanity. I was the only Scout not going. Every single soldier would be fighting for the good of humanity, to regain what had been lost. The enemies, we knew, would be ready for them. Alongside the threat of regular titans, there was the Beast, Colossal, and Armored.

I could only hope everyone would come back safely. Without Erwin, our leader, I wouldn't know what steps to take next. And Hange, our head researcher, one of the brightest people I knew. And Levi, Humanity's Strongest, my husband, the love of my life, the father of my child. And all the kids, I couldn't bear the thought of them getting hurt.

I gripped his shirt, focusing only on keeping him close to me as he kissed me over and over again. This kiss was sloppy and messy, my breathing uneven and heavy, as we tried filling as much love as we could into it.

This was, by far, the most affection we'd shown in front of people. Neither of us were too fond of publicly displaying it, at least not like this. We had our quick kisses and hand-holding, and that was it, and it was enough for us. But right now, it was as if there was nobody else around. It was just us.

I ran one of my hands into his hair, gripping tightly, then releasing immediately to run through gentler, enticing a low sound from him. It was quiet, low, yet I heard it clearly over the buzz of noise all around us. My hands traveled over his body as his traveled over mine, trying to memorize how the other felt, as if we couldn't mold each other by now.

We were still, quiet, while there was a sea of movement all around us, the only un-moving parts of a flowing sea of soldiers. He lowered one hand to palm my stomach gently, the simple movement making me sigh into his mouth as a wave of tears welled up in my eyes. The scouts were hurrying to sort back onto lifts leading down the other side of the wall and I wanted to ignore it when his name was called.

No, we need more time!

"Amaya," he said, pressing his forehead to mine. He grabbed my left hand, squeezing it gently. "Look at me." I opened my eyes. He looked up at me through his lashes, pale blue eyes holding a courageous fire in them and with just that one look I could feel the nerves dissipating.

"I love you," I breathed out.

The look in his eyes was intense, loving. I suddenly felt weightless, confident, secure. I relaxed under his gaze, a smile forming on my lips even as a tear rolled down my cheek. There was no doubting Levi. He was strong, smart, quick on his feet, and exceptional at making decisions on the fly. I'd seen that firsthand. How silly was I, then, to worry about him? He'd never let me down before. It wasn't in his blood to.

"I love you, too, Amaya."

"I love you, Levi," I repeated. "So, so much. Remember your promise." He nodded and kissed my ring just as his name was called again. "Come back to me safe," I said as he backed away.

"Is that an order?"

I smiled and nodded at him. He smirked, then turned and jogged over to the lift that was still waiting for him. The lift was secured, and it began to descend just as I came to stand on the edge of the wall to watch them go.

When it was almost to the ground, Levi turned and looked back up, eyes meeting mine immediately. I didn't need to smile, wave, or otherwise react to his gaze in any way. He might not have been able to see the detail in my eyes from that far, just as I couldn't see it in his, but even from here, from the weight of his look alone, I could feel the love. A smirk quirked up on my lips as the lift came to a stop.

I watched as the scouts mounted up, the odd mix of veterans, kids, and re-enlisted soldiers. One thing bound them all together today, however. They were dedicated to reclaiming Wall Maria, the land we had lost due to the actions of humanity's enemies. They would all fight today, hearts in hand, laying their lives on the line. There was no stopping it.

Such was the nature of the Survey Corps.

And I was proud to bear the Wings of Freedom on my back, even if I couldn't fight with them today. When the time came, I'd be right there alongside them once again. But this was not my fight. All I could do now was hope and believe in the strength of my comrades' hearts. Sometimes, even on the battlefield, that was all you could do.

Such was the nature of the Survey Corps.