"Captain," I heard a familiar voice call, and as I slowed to a stop, I remarked on just how much I was getting called by people today. Just a short while ago, there had been Historia, and now, as the night wore on, here was Jean. I let him catch up to me and smiled to him in greeting, which he gladly returned.

"Hello, Jean," I said when he slowed to a stop beside me. The boy, though half my age, easily towered over me in height, and so I tilted my head back to look up at him as he cleared his throat.

"Good evening," he said politely. "Are you busy?"

"Right now, no," I answered. "Did you need me for something?"

"Need is a strong word," he said. "I just wanted to talk to you about something."

"Oh? Is it important?"

"To me it is," he replied easily.

"I'm sure a hallway isn't where you'd like to talk about it," I considered.

"No," he said in agreement. "It's not."

"Lead on, then," I said. 

Wordlessly, he nodded and I fell into step alongside him as he started to walk in the same direction I'd been going when he called to me. After a while of Levi and I talking, lying in bed together, hushed words passing between us easily, we'd dozed off for a bit, and when we awoke, he decided to get back to work on the crib and I did just as I told him I would do, or at least, that's where I was headed - to the library, to find something about carpentry or building cribs or anything of the sort.

"Where were you headed?" Jean asked.

"To the library," I answered. "Independent research, you know how it goes."

"That'll do just fine," he said, nodding surely, and on we went.

When we reached the library, I was happy to find that it was perfectly empty, and the curtains of all the windows were tied open, letting all the light of the night sky stream in, bathing everything in the pale blue glow I so loved and casting long, dark shadows across the room that gave the room an eerie sort of feel - yet comforting all the same.

"Beautiful in here, isn't it," I mused aloud, walking further into the room as Jean struck a match to light a lantern.

"It'll be a bit difficult to research everything if you can't see it," he said, holding the lantern aloft now, fighting off the ghostly blue with the warm tones of the fire's glow.

"I suppose not," I said, linking my fingers behind my back as I walked along a bookshelf, looking up at spine after spine of books I had never read, and maybe wouldn't ever have the time to.

Of course, further into the library, the further away from the windows I might peruse, the harder it would be to find anything, so sooner or later I would have to illuminate the room myself, but for now, I appreciated the peaceful ambiance while I had it.

"So," I said to the boy, "shall we sit?"

"Yeah," he said, following me towards a table set only feet away from one of the large windows. I sat down, and he sat across from me, and it was only then that I realized he had a notepad and a pencil with him.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"It's personal," he admitted, and I nodded, acknowledging that this might be difficult for him to-

"But it's not about me," he finished, and my train of thought screeched to a thought.

"What do you mean?"

"I know it might be a sensitive subject," he told me, "but I wanted to ask you about your father."

"Hm? Why?" I glanced down rather pointedly towards his notepad, noting his easy smile when I met his eyes once more. "What, are you going to be taking notes on him or something?"

"Something like that," he said with a shrug. "Don't worry, it's nothing too serious."

"Uh huh," I murmured, unconvinced, and more than a bit wary at the moment.

Something strange passed across his face, and for a moment, he looked apologetic. "We don't need to talk about him if you don't want to."

"It's not that," I said. "It's just strange, and admittedly... very sudden, to say the least."

"I'm sorry," he said genuinely. "But it'll be worth it, I promise."

Reassured even slightly, I leaned back in my seat and nodded slowly, agreeing to this no matter how strange it was - and it was incredibly strange. "Alright," I spoke. "Go ahead. Ask away."

"Great," Jean said, smiling once more and readying himself to write. "What color were his eyes?"

This was definitely not what I thought he was going to ask.

"Brown," I answered.

"What kind of brown?"

"Dark brown," I answered further.

"Don't be so nervous," he said, picking up on my hesitance and unease. "I promise you're going to like what I do with this information."

"This is strange," I said, eying him skeptically, crossing my arms over my chest. "I hope you know that."

"I do," he said, "but work with me, here."

I took a moment to consider my answer before I spoke. Once I thought back on my father, on all the best memories I had of him, the answer came quickly, and I spoke without thinking, for I didn't need to.

"They were kind," I said. "I remember when I first met him that I felt I could trust him. I was only... four years old, I think. My grandmother brought me to the Military Police office in the underground city because she needed help, and as she tried to get anyone to help her, he went right to me to try to cheer me up, to make me focus on anything other than how upset she was."

By now, my eyes surely glazed over with the fogginess of memories remembered, of a million feelings all fighting for space in my heart, but strongest of them all was love, yet a twinge of guilt and pain struck there too, for I wanted him here with me, even now. I still didn't know who had killed him, but here I was, on the surface - without him, and without Caden.

"His eyes were this warm brown, even in the unnatural light underground. I'm sure that up here, where he belonged, that they'd be beautiful... like the color of honey in the sun."

"And his hair? What about his other features?"

"His hair was dark brown," I answered easily. "Short when I met him, but he let it grow out over the years. He was fond of changing it every few years, he never quite settled into one look. But just before he died, he..." I looked at Jean, realizing something. "Actually, he had an undercut, and it... it looked like your hair as it is now."

My breath caught in my throat as I took him in. In this light, in this environment... The darkness of the night creeping in was not dissimilar to the unnatural darkness of the cave we lived in. The lantern light flickering off his features was not unlike the candlelight we always lived by, for it was all we had.

This boy... I hadn't realized it before, but he looked like El had. Goodness...

There were differences, but the similarities were there, I just hadn't realized it before. Was I so busy with other things, and had so much time passed, that I was beginning to forget my father? Was I forgetting what he looked like, what he liked, his voice, his mannerisms?

He was dead, and with time, details would become blurry. That was proven already with my grandmother, for I had been so young. But I was an adult when El died. Surely I wouldn't forget him, right?

...Right?

"Captain? Are you alright?"

No, he wouldn't call me captain. This was Jean, not El. They had different eyes, noses, cheekbones and faces. One comparison was all. That was all. That was it. Nothing more... and nothing less.

"I'm fine," I assured him. "I'm fine. His hair... dark, styled kind of like yours. His eyebrows were the same color, and were rather thin but they were expressive. He used to make me laugh as a child by... I don't know the word, waggling them or something. But he'd make funny faces and... Ah, anyway... what else?"

From there, he asked more questions, regarding more of his specifics: skin tone, eye shape, who he might have resembled to help me better describe certain features. Then came his personality, but by then, he stopped taking such detailed notes and actually, he stopped writing entirely. Rather, we were having a conversation, and it was less like I was being interviewed or pressed for details about what I knew about a convict and more that we were just casually discussing any manner of topics that turned around and came to be about my father.

And after a while, I trailed off, running out of things to say. I wasn't lost in thought, but rather my memories had reached back and found the day that he was murdered on, and... to think about it so freely, so openly, was something I don't think I had ever done. I'd tried blocking it out when it happened, and in the days following it, I'd been in such a dark place, I tried to do all in my power to hide that memory away and dispel my grief however I could.

But now... I thought about it, and I remembered each sickening detail, the fear that struck my heart, and the grief that held firm to my limbs and made it hard to move and hard to live following his death. But I also remembered his final moments, how gentle and kind he had been, how his focus had been on me and not his death, his murder.

"He thought he wasn't meant to have a family," I murmured into the air, speaking into existence the belief my father felt in his heart was true, and was fact. And yet, contradictorily, even if it was fact, he wanted one, a family of his own that is, and he fought for one. "He thought because we lost his wife, and my little brother, that he wasn't meant to have a family. And yet, he had the perfect heart for one."

I shook my head slowly, every single detail of that day coming back to me in a rush.

"Even as he died, it wasn't about him," I said. "It was about me. He wanted to make sure I was alright, make sure I didn't give up on my dream of seeing the surface, even if he wasn't there to see it."

"He sounds like a great guy," Jean said.

"He was," I agreed. "He was. He told me not to be in a hurry to meet him wherever we go when we die. And..."

"If nothing else," El had said as he died, "I can rest easy knowing that I saved someone. I saved you.."

"When he held me for the first time," I told Jean, "I was so close to tears... maybe I had been crying already. I was scared, of course. All that talk of unpaid debts that should have died with my grandmother being passed to me... I didn't know what it all meant. But El had held me, and he asked to see my smile, because he was sure I had a pretty one."

"And... did you?"

"I did," I answered. "I smiled." Tears brimmed in my eyes and I fought not to let them fall. It was a tall order, but one I managed to fill, at least for now. "And when he died, he asked for the same," I continued, looking at the flame of the lantern sitting atop the table, a lantern so like the one we had on our own table at home down in that accursed city. Accused though it was, it brought me to him, and I was grateful for it.

In truth... it offered me more than I gave it credit for.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I don't mean to get so emotional. It was a long time ago, so..."

"Don't apologize," Jean said, shaking his head. "Not when it's so clear that you miss him. That's nothing to apologize for. Is that why you're going tomorrow?"

"Hm? How do you figure?"

"You can relate to those kids, can't you? Wanting to see the surface, among other things."

"I do," I answered. "I never knew my parents, and I know how hard it is to grow up there without the sun and without a real family."

"But you did have a real family," Jean argued. "You had your father. He might not have felt he was meant to have a family, but he might have been meant to have you."

Alright... that did it.

A tear rolled down my cheek.

"All the grief I've felt, all the death I've seen, all the loss I've suffered... His still hits harder than all of them. Losing my old partners still hurts, but it's a dull ache now, like the ones of old wounds on rainy mornings but him..."

I wiped the tear away gently, looking down and away and willing myself not to cry more - but it was hard, so hard.

"We weren't related by blood," I said, "but something stronger. He had chosen to take me in, and I had chosen to stay. I miss him, and I think I'll always miss him. That day... I hadn't thought about it in a long, long time. I tried only to think of the good memories, but even as he died there were good moments. It seems so selfish to say, it does, but the love he always had for me shone through more clearly than ever before in his final moments."

I smiled, at long last, grateful that Jean had remained quiet, that he had given me the time to talk and grieve and share what I wanted.

"We hadn't gotten to celebrate," I told him, "but on the day of his death, he had been promoted. Lieutenant Elwin Ikeda, Military Police, Underground City Branch." I leaned back in the chair, meeting Jean's eyes surely. "Thank you for this, Jean. Even if unintentional, you helped me remember a lot about him, more than I thought I would."

Jean smiled rather bashfully. "I'm glad it helped, ma'am."

I shook my head. "You helped me personally, Jean," I said. "You don't need to call me something so formal as ma'am." I smirked, saying, "What happened to calling me mom, hm?"

"I thought we agreed not to talk about that," Jean muttered embarrassedly. I laughed lightly, then stood from the table.

"Did I say that? Goodness, I must have forgotten. Still, it's getting late, and we all have an early morning tomorrow, so get some rest, kiddo."

"Yes, ma'am," Jean pressed, his cheeks burning as bright as the lantern still lit. I patted his shoulder as I stepped past him, bid him a goodnight, then left the library.

By the time I returned to the room I was sharing with Levi, I only just realized I had forgotten to look for something to help Levi build the crib, but he seemed far too concerned with why my eyes were bloodshot and puffy, indicative of past tears, so I figured I had gotten away with it. When he asked why I was crying, I spoke openly, talking all about El, and Levi listened intently, closely, and seemed to take what I said to heart.

Of course, he was concerned about my feelings, as he always was; but at the same time... perhaps in his life, the absence of a true father troubled him, especially if he was to become a father himself. So I spoke all on what made El great, focusing on the love, for that was what mattered most.

Levi was not El, and so I did not say anything that might make Levi change his ways to fit that mold; rather, I spoke on things Levi already had, that my own father had shared: including, of course, their big, strong hearts.

—

When I lived underground, the orphanages were always buildings that I tended to stay away from. It was easy to, because I never had any reason to go there, and very rarely did our business bring us even remotely near one. Even if we tried to stay away from them, we all knew the horror stories of how the poor kids were mistreated, worked to death or worse.

I always wanted to do something about it, but as a thug, there was very little I could have done while I was there.

Every child also inadvertently reminded me of Caden, and back then, his memory was just too fresh - of him, and of his untimely death. If I had gone into them to try to offer my services, I'd have likely cried on sight seeing the poor, abused kids and wanted to take them all in, which simply was not feasible. It wasn't feasible then, and it was not feasible now... at least, not for me alone. But with the grace of Historia and the will of everyone in that city, and the hard work of everyone who had helped to make this happen... the children would see the sun. They could do what Caden could not, and to know that I had helped plan it, that I had a hand in this...

Stepping into the orphanages now, as an adult, I had been disgusted. I couldn't imagine having to live in them myself, much less with dozens of other kids and a mistress that didn't care about me. My heart ached for all the kids that had been forced to step foot into one, and all those that had perished within them.

Goodness, it made even a life on the streets look luxurious, because at least they wouldn't be cramped inside a dirty, deplorable building that was barely standing.

It took a few long, hard hours of work, but they'd been cleared out. With the help of the local Military Police and the kids in our squad alongside dozens of other volunteers and Historia's staff, we'd led hundreds of tired, hungry kids to the surface for the very first time.

Each time a kid grabbed my hand and clung to my side as we started up the steps, I felt my heart race, my smile grow. I was sure that by this time tomorrow my cheeks would hurt from how much I was smiling, but it was such a good feeling to see these kids squint in the sun for the first time in their lives, to finally see the world they'd been born into, something that was so terribly uncommon for the people of this city.

This marked such a wonderful milestone for them. This led the way to their futures; ones where they could grow to their full potential. They could wake up each morning and see the sun, something that growing up, Levi and I had been unable to do; something that people up here often took for granted. They wouldn't be left with bad legs like we were, so susceptible to soreness and injury, or left short, because of a lack of nutrition. They would have much more of a chance of living to adulthood, of finding loving families, of having careers and a life full of joy as it was meant to be.

By the goddesses, they could grow up the way kids were meant to - to be able to have fun each day, to not worry about if they would be able to eat day in and day out, or worry for their safety each night.

The final batch of children was being led up now. We neared the stairs, and a little boy, with golden blonde hair, matted and dirty, and pretty blue eyes though dull with despair, took hold of my hand. He couldn't have been any more than five years old, just getting used to speaking in complete sentences and learning his manners - whatever manners he'd been taught.

"Miss," he said quietly, "where are we going?"

"We're going outside," I told him, crouching down next to him and holding his hand in both of my own.

"Outside," he repeated. "Like... upstairs?"

"That's right," I said. "Exactly like that."

I stood up and let go of his hand, but he reached up for me right away, and so with an indulgent smile I picked him up and set him on my hip. He set his cheek on my shoulder and I chuckled quietly at his cuteness. He was anxious, I could tell, but comfortable with me - and I was so close to adopting him as my own.

Another little boy, just older than the one currently in my arms, ran up to me and grabbed my leg. He grinned toothily up at me, showing off the fact he didn't have his two front teeth. "Hello," I said, looking down at him in surprise.

"Hi," he said happily. "Can I hold your hand, please?"

"Of course you can," I said, fixing my hold on the first boy so I could reach with one hand towards the other. "Thank you for asking so politely."

He took my hand gleefully, and I began leading the way towards the staircase, now positively overloaded with children.

"Captain," came a voice, surprised as it was familiar. "You're so good with kids!"

I turned to look back at Armin, who had called out to me. "I like to think so," I said as Armin caught up to me, holding the hand of a little girl. We continued towards the stairwell when he did, heading ever towards the future, their future - and hopefully a happy one, at that. "Growing up, I was the only child of my adoptive father. But when I was somewhere in my early twenties, he took in another little boy, who I helped take care of."

"I can barely understand people my own age," Armin said sheepishly, "much less ones younger than me. When I was younger, it was worse."

"Well," I said with a laugh, "someone as bright as you, I'm sure not many kids your age could keep up, anyway."

"Ah," he said, his cheeks flushing completely. "Thank you, captain. Oh," he said suddenly, laughing quietly, "it doesn't look like Captain Levi's having the same level of success you are."

I followed his gaze and smiled at what I saw. Levi was absolutely swarmed with kids, and he didn't look all that happy about it. They were clinging to his legs, jumping around him, giggling and laughing and making all manner of noises sure to annoy him. It looked like he couldn't move very far, because there were kids blocking his every escape route. "You don't think so? I think he's got a good handle on everything."

"Don't you think we should help him?"

I sighed. This kid's heart was too big. Honestly. I thought the view was rather funny, but if he wanted me to help, then so be it.

"If we must," I said. I let out a whistle, getting the attention of everyone in the area. "Kiddos, you're overwhelming the poor man. Would you be so kind as to give him some space? Please, for me?"

The kids, still laughing and having a good time, dispersed slightly, giving Levi room to move. He met my eyes briefly, obviously embarrassed that I'd needed to help him. I winked at him, a cheeky smile on my face.

We made our way up to the surface, and once more, I could feel tears form in my eyes as the kids I was escorting squinted and looked up in awe as the light of day blinded them. The boy holding my hand nearly tripped as he ran off, but another soldier picked him up and set him on his shoulders, all in good fun and to keep the poor thing from stumbling over his own two feet.

With both hands available to me now, I readjusted my grip on the boy in my hands, setting both hands under him to support him better as he looked around. "It's so bright," he said in a flurry of giggles, burying his face in my shoulder.

"You'll get used to it," I told him. "Isn't it pretty? Look around, little one! See, there are trees, and flowers, and, oh! Look there, look at the birds!" He lifted his head and looked up. A small flock of birds were singing as they flew overhead, and he grinned, rendered speechless.

"Captain," I heard again, and I turned at the sound of the queen.

"Yes?"

Historia smiled at the child in my arms, then met my eyes. "We're going to do counts of the children and set people for each wagon to watch them," she told me. "Why don't you go find who you need to find?"

"Ah," I said, "that's right!"

"I'll take this little one from you," she said, and I handed the child to her. The kid pouted, reaching for me, so I pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, which seemed to make him happy.

"Thank you," I said, smiling and turning towards the entrance to the underground city that I had just come from.

"Amaya," I heard, and recognized it to be Levi's immediately. He sounded confused, and maybe a bit concerned, especially because he knew that was the last batch of children - and so what reason would I have to go back down there, and alone at that?

"Levi," I greeted, changing course to head towards him. "I'll be back soon." I stopped just beside him, pausing to first pat the head of the little girl he'd taken the hand of, and to press a quick kiss to his lips. A confused noise left him as I pulled away and went on at a jog towards the staircase.

"Where are you going?"

I turned and continued to jog backwards to call back to him. "To go find someone," I called. "Don't worry, I'll be alright!"

Though confused he trusted me, and so he watched me go. Chuckling at the sight of his furrowed brow and the questions dancing in his eyes, I turned back around to run down the stairs. As it turned out, I didn't have to go very far to find Mason.

The day's activities had drawn a crowd and a celebration of sorts. There were people singing and playing instruments, celebrating that the kids were getting the chance to go up the stairwell. It was just beginning to disperse by the time I got down, but a few of the citizens looked back at me, excited.

I could hear the whispers surrounding me as I walked towards them, eyes scanning for one face in particular. I decided after a minute of searching to follow the telltale sounds of a guitar, so I clambered up onto a barrel to see above the crowd.

From my perch, I found him. I grinned and called out for him. His head whipped around, guitar in hand, and I thanked the goddesses for my luck. Not only was he alive and well (if the smile on his face meant anything), but he was here, making my search that much easier.

"Oh, thank goodness," I breathed out.

He ran over to meet me as I dropped down from the barrel. Mason dropped his guitar to the ground and caught me in a hug before my feet could even hit the dirt. His hair was longer and dirtier than it was the last time I'd seen him, but his eyes were still lit with a happiness that was rare in the city, and his arms were strong - strong enough to hold me up, anyway.

"Amaya," he said happily, sounding as elated as I felt.

"Mason," I said, a wide smile on my face as he spun me around. "You have no idea how relieved I am to see you!"

"Relieved," he scoffed as he put me down and held me at arms-length. "Did you expect me to die or something?"

I shook my head. "I can't say it hadn't crossed my mind," I told him honestly.

"Jeez, Amaya," he said, pulling away and setting his hands on his hips. "No faith in me, huh?"

"Not so much you," I said, "but the city, I have no faith in."

"Fair enough," he said. "But why are you here? Another manhunt? Or... And this is the one I'm sure of, mind you: I think you had a hand in all of this being set up."

"You know me well," I said. "I know the queen personally."

"Do you really? The real one? We didn't get much news about it down here, but we all heard about the coup. And when I heard the scouts had a part of it, well, I couldn't help but feel like you were roped into it somehow. I didn't even know if you were still alive, but I was worried - I mean, no matter how good someone is at fighting Titans, a military coup is entirely different."

"Oh," I teased. "Now who has no faith in someone? Still, I'll tell you all about it," I said, picking up his guitar and beginning to walk away, gesturing for him to follow, "when we get to the capital."

He had started to follow me, but at my words, he stopped walking altogether. "The capital? Amaya, things haven't changed that much down here. My parents may be dead, but I'm not one of these kid orphans. I still need to pay-"

"I called in a favor with Her Majesty herself," I said, smirking at him. "Now come on." He didn't follow me, still too surprised to move. Or confused. Maybe both. "Oh, Mason. Don't make me drag you."

"I don't understand," he said quietly.

"I arranged for your citizenship," I said. "You did so much for me over the years. You helped me keep my head above water just after my family died. I wanted to repay that debt, and besides, we were born into a beautiful world, and if anyone can put it into a song, it's you."

His eyes watered. "Amaya, I-"

"You can and you will accept it," I said, knowing already what he was about to say. "Now come on. You're causing a scene."

He finally followed me, and I led him up the steps, the Military Policemen letting us through without a problem. I smiled as I walked up the steps next to him, his eyes directed upwards. When we turned the corner, and the sun's rays poured down towards us, he winced, his eyes closing briefly, not that I blamed him - the sun was incredibly bright today. It was a beautiful day for a beautiful occasion.

When at last his eyes fluttered open, he gasped. He ran up the final few steps, as though to leave me behind. I laughed as I followed him, taking the steps a few at a time just to keep up with him.

When he took his first steps on the cobblestone road of the surface, I was right there next to him. He couldn't decide what direction to look in, so it seemed. His gaze shifted between the sky, to the surrounding buildings, to the hustle and bustle of the soldiers and children in the area.

A tear rolled down his cheek after a moment, and he looked at me, downright glowing with happiness. He threw his arms around me in a sudden hug, quiet sobs racking his body. I hugged him back with one arm, the other still holding his old guitar.

"Ooh! Is this him?"

I pulled away from Mason as Historia walked towards us. "This is him," I confirmed, looking at him to gauge his reaction.

"The mysterious old friend who our beloved Captain used to sing with," Historia considered, then beamed. "It's great to meet you!"

Mason looked at me in a silent question as the soldier walked off with the gear. "Mason, this is Queen Historia. Queen Historia, this is Mason."

It suddenly clicked then, who he was talking to, and he panicked, dropping to one knee with a bowed head. I looked down at him curiously, Historia as well. "Uh... Are you alright?"

"Yes, your grace!" Mason responded hurriedly.

"Um," she said, "you can stand."

"Thank you, your grace! It's an honor to meet you, Your Majesty!"

"Thanks," Historia said.

The guitar was taken from my hand then, and I looked down just as a hand wrapped around my waist. I smiled when I saw Levi, who peered down at the guitar in his hand curiously. He looked at me with one eyebrow raised, and I gestured with my head to Mason, who was just now standing up, his eyes still squeezed shut, nervous to be in the vicinity of the monarch. Levi nudged Mason with the guitar, and he opened his eyes.

"Oh, Levi," Mason said, accepting the guitar from him. Historia looked wildly between the two, visibly disappointed. "Been a while, hasn't it?"

"It has," Levi agreed. "You're looking well."

"Wait," Historia cut in. "What's all this?"

"What do you mean?"

"I thought... Captain Levi isn't... there's no scandal!"

"Did you expect there to be?" I asked.

"Yes!" She exclaimed. "Your former singing partner, who you had to have been with at some point, meeting your husband! But who's to say you don't still have feelings for your music man?"

"My... music man? Historia, what are you going on about?"

Levi looked at me, an amused expression on his face. "Was there ever anything between you and Mason?"

"No," I answered honestly. "We were never together."

"The first time we sang together," Mason said, "you went over to talk to Levi and, oh, what's his name? Farlan? Either way, I knew immediately I had no chance if you had them as options."

"Oh, hush," I said with a roll of my eyes.

"We're loading up," a soldier called out. "Queen Historia, we're ready!"

Historia huffed. "I'm getting to the bottom of this. Mason, you're riding with me. We need to talk."

"Oh, uh, yes, Queen Historia," Mason stammered, following her after she stormed off.

"Amaya," Levi said, leading me along with him towards a wagon. "I made sure you were with me."

"How sweet," I said, reaching up to kiss his jaw.

He clicked his tongue, leaning away from me until I drew away with a smile. "Only to make sure you don't get into any trouble. Last time you were on a wagon alone, you fell off."

"Oh, hush. You're still on that, huh?"

"You nearly busted your jaw open on the way down," he reminded me.

"Okay, okay," I muttered as he stepped away from me to stand by what was presumably our assigned wagon. Levi hopped up and held a hand towards me. I took it and he helped pull me up onto the wagon, steadying me just as the wagons began to move. We settled onto one of the benches, the kids sitting on the floor of the wagon, chattering excitedly.

They almost immediately shifted closer, one of them deciding to sit squarely on my feet. The little boy smiled cheekily up at me, and I reached down to pat his head gently before leaning back. Levi put his arm around my shoulders, and I leaned towards him, setting a hand on his leg comfortably.

The wagons moved out, heading slowly towards the countryside where a space had been set for the orphans. About five minutes into the ride, the little boy that had been sitting on my feet stood and turned, putting his hands on my knees. I recognized him immediately as the one that I'd escorted up not too long ago.

"Miss," he said, and I peered down at him curiously, waiting for him to continue. "Can I sit in your lap, please?"

"With manners like that," I said, picking him up under his armpits to set him in my lap, "how could I possibly say no?"

The boy began babbling on excitedly then, telling me about all sorts of nonsense I couldn't quite keep track of. The boy wasn't looking at me, but rather was leaning back into my chest, so he had no idea I wasn't actually listening. Every so often I would gasp or laugh, and the boy kept going.

Levi brought his mouth close to my ear to whisper to me, his breath tickling the delicate skin there. "Are you actually listening?" When he pulled back to look me in the eye to get my answer, I shook my head and a smirk found my lips. "Tsk, tsk," he whispered, and I laughed quietly. There was a sudden call of my name and I perked up, looking for who and where it came from. "Behind us," Levi said.

I leaned forward to see around Levi at the wagon behind ours. Mason and Historia were on that wagon, and Mason was standing on a bench, waving at me, wide smile on his face and guitar in hand. We were on a wide dirt road now leading to the countryside, and the driver of their wagon sped up as ours slowed, so after a moment we were side by side. The rest of the wagons followed suit, the lines of wagons now running in two rows. "Hello, Mason," I called out.

"Still remember our songs, Amaya?"

"Of course I do," I said, grinning and standing up, the boy in my arms. I turned and set the boy on Levi's lap, setting my hands on my hips as I faced Mason. "We went over them for hours at a time. Did you really think I would forget?"

"So, why don't we get something going, then?"

At those words everyone around us seemed to grow interested in what we were doing. The members of our squad looked at me, smiles on their faces, surrounded by confused children as Mason began to strum. Riding as close as we were, it was no problem at all to hear what he was playing and as soon as I registered what tune it was, I took a deep breath and prepared myself to sing, for the first time in years.

When I sang the first few words, I was not surprised to realize that I felt nervous. Of those in attendance, I'd only ever sung for Mason and Levi, and of course whatever crowd we'd managed to entice into listening every night. But, well, I knew a lot more people now, and I only wished I'd practiced a bit more beforehand before singing in front of everyone. I was probably pretty rusty by now.

I didn't dare look at anyone but Mason for the first verse as I got back into the feel for singing. I'd almost forgotten how fun it was, and so, during the first break in the singing, I picked up one of the dancing little girls and set her on my hip, swaying to the music as she giggled.

The other kids hopped up and danced, as did ones in the other wagons too. I continued to sing a happy little tune Mason had written and one day during a visit with him, he'd given me the lyric sheet and he'd taught it to me right there.

That was how he taught me all the songs he wrote.

The only exception had been So Ist Es Immer, but only because he hadn't written it and I already knew it. I didn't expect him to play that here, however. The ride wasn't long enough that we'd go through all the songs we knew. In the months I'd performed with him, he'd been a proper maniac when it came to writing songs, seemingly coming to me with a new one every couple of days.

It would be weird, I bet, to play it here anyway, on the day that he'd been surprised by sudden citizenship and passage to the surface. This was his first time being out of that city. Why squander it by playing the somber theme of the underground city?

As this first song ended, our strange little audience cheering and shouting, I looked back at Levi. The boy was grinning up at me from Levi's lap. The child looked comfortable, sitting sideways, leaning into Levi's chest, legs swinging back and forth off his side. I smiled at the sight. Levi was looking down at the child, looking rather unsure about himself. Whereas the boy looked like he was lounging on the world's best couch, Levi looked like there was a skunk on his lap and the slightest movement would disturb it and ruin everyone's day.

Levi noticed I was looking at him, then, and his cheeks dusted slightly with pink in embarrassment. He averted his eyes, but I set the girl down and crouched down in front of him. I asked the boy quietly if I could move him, and with a confused nod from the boy, I stood and gently maneuvered him so Levi could make himself more comfortable.

I set the boy back down when Levi seemed to settle on the bench, prepared to take the boy back from me. The boy got comfortable on Levi's lap, and I took one of Levi's hands into my own, guiding it so that he had an arm wrapped gently around the child to keep him from falling off.

He seemed to relax, and I ruffled the boy's hair, making him giggle. Levi continued to look at the child, far more relaxed than before, but still cautious. I stood up straight and turned as Mason began another tune, another happy little number he'd written.

This one happened to be a simple love song, one that I hadn't really understood when Mason brought it to me. By that point, I hadn't been in love, so the song had been nothing more than flowery language over a sweet melody.

The lyrics were simply about feeling truly safe only when their lover was around. And, well, as I began to sing and I looked back at Levi, I figured I knew what it meant.

Another little girl reached up towards me, and I bent down slightly, taking her hands into my own to dance with her as a long instrumental part of the song began. She put her feet on mine, grinning and giggling as we danced. I lifted her and spun, my eyes catching Levi once I felt the weight of his gaze on me. The boy climbed down from his lap carefully, asking me to dance, tugging on my jacket to get my attention. I only had so many hands for them to hold, and so many feet they could stand on.

I began to tell the boy to wait his turn, but Levi leaned forward and reached for the girl. I let go of her and with a giggle the girl ran to Levi, letting him pick her up and set her in his lap. I picked the boy up and began to sway, turning so I could hide my smile from Levi. I knew he wasn't entirely comfortable with children, but he was trying. And the effort he was putting in was endearing. But he didn't need to know just how happy it made me to see him trying.

—

The dancing that day didn't end, not for me at least, until late in the evening. Once the kids had been settled into their new orphanage, I'd insisted on us spending the afternoon there with them to help get them acclimated to their new home and Levi had surprisingly joined me when I played games with the children.

The kiddos of our squad had joined us, and I knew that they appreciated this lazy afternoon of fun just as much as I had. For weeks now, we'd been running back and forth, helping with several new projects being led by both the scouts and Historia.

While I was happy to be working, and elated that the work helped better the lives of many, including of course the underground orphans being moved to the surface for adoption and the glowing stone from the Reiss cavern being used for artificial light at night, at times I felt a bit too busy.

There was a big battle looming just ahead of us soon, the weight hanging over us all constantly like heavy fog. But we were making so many advancements lately, it was tough to be discouraged. Hange had developed new weapons for us. Her Thunder Spears were ingenious, and if her Executioners from Hell continued to work like they were, we'd have Wall Maria and beyond cleared of titans in no time.

Erwin, confined to his office most of the time, was busy preparing our forces for the upcoming battle to reclaim Wall Maria. When in the HQ, I helped him when I could. That was, when Hange didn't need me to help with her experiments, and I hadn't been assigned to look after our new recruits.

That had been another bonus of the coup and the defeat of Rod Reiss. Faith in the Survey Corps had been restored. We weren't the freaks of the military anymore. No, we had been thrust into the limelight and became heroes and role models, trusted to make big decisions. Many soldiers reenlisted, signing their lives away to the regiment. Never before had such a large group reenlisted at the same time, and never had people reenlisted to the Survey Corps.

For the first time since I'd joined the Scouts, I felt like we were finally being recognized for our efforts. Now, finally, since the citizens learned that the government had been hiding things from them, the people were hungry for the truth, for what we'd been ridiculed for hunting for. We were finally getting somewhere, and I couldn't help but think of all the lives we'd lost in order to get us here.

It was now early evening, and Levi and I were finally back in the base. We weren't sure how long exactly we would be here, but we'd made the ride here to assist Hange with her experiments with Eren's titan. For the most part, things seemed to be going well. He was gaining better control of his powers, and it was this confidence that made sure he kept working hard, and in turn, continuing to improve.

We'd arrived just in time for dinner, and Erwin spent the meal catching us up on the goings-on since we'd been gone. After the meal, we'd gone back to my office, and I had done a double take by the door, tugging Levi back outside as soon as I caught sight of the sign outside the door.

Where it had once said Office of Captain Amaya Ikeda, Special Operations Squad, it now read, Office of Captains Levi and Amaya Ackerman, Special Operations Squad.

Levi had read it over and over, wide-eyed, and I'd hugged his arm, perhaps a bit over-excited at the change. I wanted to run and go see if they'd taken down the sign outside his office's door, but Levi had grabbed me and pushed me into the room. With a laugh, I obliged, turning to face him as he shut the door behind us. He'd only taken one step further into the room when I grabbed his hands, pulling him closer to me.

"Amaya," he said, feigning annoyance. The smirk on his face told me otherwise, so I pressed a kiss to his nose. His nose wrinkled in surprise and he closed his eyes briefly, but when they opened again, I could see the confusion in them clearly.

"Levi," I said, echoing him as I rubbed my nose against his.

I wasn't sure why I was so happy. Perhaps it was because of how fun the day was. How many children had we helped today, ensuring that they'd have a better chance at life now? And I'd seen a softer side of Levi today, one where he willingly tried to better himself. It was rare that he showed this side because it was rare for him to need to get better at something.

My heart had warmed so much at the sight of him trying to get more comfortable around kids, especially considering that in a few short months we'd have our own little one to care for.

In my glee, I'd asked Levi to dance with me. He had refused outright at first, going to take his hands from mine, but I knew what buttons to push by now. I reminded him with a pout that we'd gone our entire wedding night without dancing, simply because he hadn't wanted to make a fool of himself in front of the entire Survey Corps.

I hadn't minded at the time, of course I hadn't; in place of dancing, we'd mingled, though I had slipped away every so often to dance when asked, and we spent the entire night doing a different kind of dance, one taking place between the sheets... in the shower... against the wall... and back between the sheets.

He'd more than made up for not dancing with me in the ballroom.

"Amaya, you know I can't dance," he said.

I sighed exaggeratedly, draping my hands loosely over his shoulders. "Then sway with me, you daft man. You can do that much, can't you?"

"I'm not daft," he muttered, crossing his arms stubbornly over his chest.

"No?" I asked, smirking mischievously at him. 

He narrowed his eyes at me. "I'm not daft just because I don't know how to dance," he protested, as if that'd defend him.

"Well then, let me teach you," I insisted. "I can teach you how to waltz, at least the basics. You're a smart man, you'll pick it up so quickly!"

"No, Amaya," he said firmly, and I huffed, pulling away from him, knowing that he'd pull me in again. "You little brat," he said patronizingly, tugging me back towards him. With a smile I set my cheek on his shoulder, placing my hands against his chest. His arms held me close, wrapped around my waist. With a sigh, he began to sway, his chin on my head. "How is it that you always get what you want?"

"I know how you work, my love," I said, closing my eyes. "I can play you like a guitar."

"You don't know how to play a guitar," he said, vibrations resonating through his chest as he chuckled. "You told me yourself that Mason tried teaching you, and it didn't work. Aside from your voice, you've no musical talent, and you know it."

"Mm," I hummed. "Harsh, but I suppose you're right." Then, I realized what he'd said. "Oh, sweetheart, you think my voice is pretty?"

"Tch," he uttered. "I never said that." Then, to change the subject before I could press the matter: "Who even taught you how to dance?" At his question, I opened my eyes, my heart hurting at the reminder of the memory. "El?"

"No," I said quietly. "It was Eld, actually. In the abandoned base, just before the 57th. He uh, he figured that I should know how to dance. Eld knew that one day we'd get married, so he thought I should know how, so we could dance together."

"I see. So that's why."

"I didn't push it at our wedding," I said. "I know you didn't want to." I lifted my head from his shoulder and looked him in the eyes. "I'm just so happy from today, I thought it'd be fun."

"You don't look too happy," he said, lifting one hand to place his palm against my cheek. I leaned into his touch, breathing in deeply to steady myself.

"I just miss them so much," I told him. "I just realized it wasn't all that long ago that we lost them all." Levi sighed and lowered his hand, letting it find its way back down to my waist again. "It was really only a few weeks ago, wasn't it? It's all happened so fast."

"We're still here," Levi reminded me.

"I know," I said, eyes lowering as I thought about how best to word my next few sentences. I fumbled absentmindedly with his collar, smoothing it out even though it was set perfectly. "We've lost so much, so quickly. We've gained a lot, too, and I'm so proud of the hard work everyone has put in, though I mourn for those we lost. I..." I sighed. "How do I put this?"

"Just say it," he said.

I looked away from him, a worried crease forming in my brow. "It's selfish. I know it is. But I want..." I forced my eyes to his, meeting his confused look with my own conflicted one. "I don't want you to fight when it comes time to retake Wall Maria."

Levi pulled away further, shaking his head as his arms crossed in front of his chest again. "What the hell are you thinking?" His brow furrowed with irritation. "I'm going to be there. It's not your decision to make, Amaya."

"I know that," I said. "If you'd have let me finish, I would've said that. I know I can't stop you, but I can't help what I feel. And I'd feel better if you were here, with me. It's fucking selfish and awful to think, I know, but damn it, I can't help it! If I could have my way, Erwin, Hange, Moblit, Eren, and our entire squad wouldn't be going, either. But I know you all need to be there. Every single one of you. There's not a damn thing I can do to stop it, and that's what I'm upset about."

Levi's eyes were still narrow, and I could see the tension in his jaw. I tried to steel my own nerve but I could feel fear bubble up in my stomach, tears well up in my eyes, and my heart begin to break. "I'm mad at myself, Levi. I can't be there to make sure you're safe, because I'll be here, useless, while you all go off and fight the most dangerous battle conceivable."

"When you went with them to go capture Annie," Levi said slowly, "how do you think I felt? When you went further, going that night to that damn castle, fighting Reiner and the other one on the wall, and then going to get Eren and Historia back? Where was I?" I winced at his tone, but I did not flinch away. "Answer me, Amaya."

"You were on the sidelines," I said quietly, "injured."

"Injured and pretty damn useless," he affirmed. "I wanted to be there. I was worried about you, idiot. I didn't know where you were, how you were doing, if you were alright. But I couldn't fight."

"Levi," I said quietly, shaking my head as a tear rolling down my cheek, "I'm sorry. It's just, well, for as long as we've known each other, I've only ever been away from the fighting on a handful of occasions. I could count them on one hand. And we know that they'll be there, all of them, to try and keep you guys from retaking Wall Maria. Reiner, Bertholdt, the Beast, and goddesses only know who else. I just hate feeling like you're out there risking your life and I won't be there to help you."

Levi let a rare, small smile grace his lips, his eyes softening - rueful, yet loving. "Come here." He opened his arms and I stepped into them, pressing my face into the crook of his neck. I sobbed quietly at the thought of them all fighting. Levi rubbed my back with one hand, his other resting on the back of my head.

"I can't lose you, Levi," I murmured. "Especially now, so soon after... And I just... I don't think I can ever... I wouldn't know what to do with myself. I..."

I wasn't stupid. I knew they were strong. All of them. I'd seen it firsthand. I'd also seen, however, that battlefields were unpredictable, especially against enemies like the ones were soon to face. 

Levi hushed me gently, his voice a gentle murmur that should have been soothing - but right now, I was far too distraught. I wanted little more than to just melt into his embrace, but right now... I couldn't. Not with the thought that I could lose him. 

"How many times have you had to save me, Amaya?"

I laughed, despite my tears, at his words. "It's happened a few times," I said. He knew I was right.

"And I can count them," he said, "on one hand. Maybe two, if I'm generous."

"I think maybe three hands," I considered. We were quiet then, and I calmed myself down, focusing on the beat of his heart. "I just want you to come back to me safe and sound."

"That's not something I can promise," he said. "You know that."

"Promise me that you'll come back to me alive," I said firmly, allowing no room for negotiation.

"Amaya."

"Levi, please," I plead, pulling away only enough to look into his eyes. He considered it silently, pale blue eyes searching my own. He let out a breath, finally, his hand that had been resting on my head wiping away a tear as it rolled down my cheek. "When you come back to me, your heart better be beating. You better be alive, Levi. I refuse to become a widow."

"I'll come back to you alive," he said, and I sighed in relief.

Somehow, just him saying it made me feel better, even if he was right. He couldn't promise something like this. We both knew that, and we both knew he was right. But if he said it, then I could believe that it meant something. I could trick myself into believing that his words held real weight and that he would absolutely come back to me safe.

"I promise."

As always, he sealed it with a kiss, setting his words in stone.Before every single expedition, despite both of us knowing all too well that words meant nothing, we'd promise each other that we'd stay safe, that we'd return alive together. But this one was different. He'd be there without me. I wouldn't be there to have his back, as he always had mine.

That was, of course, much of the reasoning behind Levi requesting to have us lead together, if at all, when Erwin offered us the positions he did. We'd fought together for years already by that point. I knew how he worked, how best to support him. And he knew how I worked, and how best to support me.

And while I'd gone to fight Annie, then went off to Utgard without him, and had been forced to go after Reiner and Bertholdt when they stole Eren and Historia away, the stakes there hadn't been as high. We had more scouts, then. Many more. Our numbers were thinning out, even with the re-enlisted soldiers. Our veteran forces were admittedly very weak compared to how they were only a few short weeks ago.

But this battle... we were stupid to think it would be simple or easy, no matter how we prepared. Though the luck of the Survey Corps had worked in our favor recently, it wasn't likely to stay that way. No, for every good day we had, we were given ten bad ones.

That was why this kiss had a different feel from the others. The kiss was gentle, soft, like so many others, but I could feel the love he poured into it and I could only hope he felt the same from me. Unspoken words were communicated between each press of his lips to mine - that he'd be careful, though of course his duty as a soldier came first, but as my kiss surely conveyed to him, he knew that I'd be a fool to think he wouldn't do his damnedest to bring the regiment to success and return safely. 

I knew his duty came first. I acknowledged it, but with another press of my lips to his, he knew that I hated it - I hated this. I hated being away while he fought for us, for our regiment, for humanity. And I was sure he knew I felt that way, and he assured me wordlessly that he would do what he could to return to me. But there was always the lingering thought that he might not.

He pulled away, his lips still tantalizingly close, and my eyes fluttered open to find that he was already looking at me. "If I don't come back," he began quietly.

"Don't," I cut him off, grasping his upper arms tightly. His grip on my waist tightened and I could feel tears well up in my eyes again at the mere thought he wouldn't return to me. It seemed the sentiment of it all, or perhaps my own fear, reached him as well, for his eyes were glassy.

"Amaya," he said against my lips. "If I don't, and you have a boy..." I pressed my forehead to his, squeezing my eyes shut. I didn't like where this conversation was going. "Amaya, look at me." He pulled away and set a hand on my cheek, guiding my head up gently so I was looking at him. I opened my eyes, trying my best not to outright sob. "If it's a boy, name him after your father. Ok? Elwin. Elwin Ackerman."

"Levi, please, no," I said, clasping a hand over his against my cheek. We were not having this talk right now. My heart couldn't bear it. Levi looked at me steadily, but I could see the glassiness of his eyes.

"I don't know my father," Levi went on to say, "but I know how good yours was to you. Honor him with that." I shook my head vehemently, unable to say anything at the moment. "If it's a girl," he continued, "and you better have a girl, name her Emiko."

Despite myself and my hesitance to speak about this, that caught my attention. "Emiko?"

"It was... It was my mother's middle name. It means prosperous or beautiful. At least, that's what I was told."

"It's a beautiful name," I said, "but... you'll be there when we name our baby boy."

His eyes narrowed. "Our baby girl."

"Regardless," I pressed, "you're going to be there for it." Levi nodded, relenting. He pressed a lingering kiss to my forehead. "I'll... I'll go make us some tea," I offered. "I don't want to talk about this anymore today, alright?"

Levi smiled lightly, letting me step away and head towards the door. "I look forward to the day we can have tea and relax after putting our little girl to bed."

I paused by the door, looking back at him with a smile of my own. "Our eldest child, a boy, will know to put himself to bed by then, of course."

"Whatever you say, brat," Levi said, waving me away. "Just go, and hurry back, you damn woman."