The Female Titan was gaining on us. The distance between our unit and her was rapidly diminishing. Yet another soldier was dead, by her hand. Blood surely pooled in the recesses of her palms, stained the barks of the trees we passed, and was stomped into the dirt below her feet. My proud, devoted, strong comrades were bested by a force they were never meant to beat, but to stall. 

It was a massacre of our own doing, a genocide of Erwin's making. We were damn well lining these poor souls up for the Female Titan to kill with all the ease I had once known. To think, I was once so skilled at fighting humans, too. It was a horrible display, it was.

...But at the very least, Eren had made up his mind. He decided to put faith in his leaders, and stock in his comrades. He trusted us. If Eren hadn't learned it yet, he very soon would: in this regiment, people lived by the mantra Erwin chanted with pride - we lived only to dedicate our hearts. It was what we were told to do, yet also what we wanted to do. It's what we chose.

That meant we fought with all we had, even if it meant our death, and in some cases, especially so. Every single scout that donned their cloak today and bore the Wings of Freedom on their back was prepared to die to protect Eren if so ordered to.

Death was not the goal, but it was a probable outcome of fighting a Titan like the one chasing us. But we were scouts through and through, and we were, as the public liked to say, stupid and brave.

Horribly stupid, yet horribly brave all the same. It was the simple truth of being a scout. Any soldier who wasn't either or both would instead go for the Garrison, unless they qualified for the Military Police. Every scout who bore the wings on their back knew what they were getting into when they signed up. If ordered to die... ask not why.

This was the burden of the Survey Corps – you could either act on your own instinct, by what you believed was right, or you could follow orders, no matter how much you questioned them. That was the gamble. Would you risk your life to potentially save another?

We were all giving our lives to this. It was likely that everyone I had met here would die through making the ultimate sacrifice. We were all prepared for it. Even I was. Should Erwin give me the order to throw myself into an impossible situation...

The question then was this: would you risk dying prematurely, to save someone else? Even if you hadn't given it your all yet, would you die in place of someone who had? Even if you didn't want to die, if told to sacrifice for another - to give them even the slightest bit more of a chance of surviving - would you?

It was never an easy answer to give, and it was unfair of us to expect Eren and the other young ones to. But this was the choice they had made, and so they had to deal with the consequences, no matter how dire.

These soldiers fighting the Titan did not know she was intelligent. They had not been told as such when given the order from Erwin and the advance team to do what they could to slow her down. But it did not matter; they had to do as ordered.

I knew all of this, but it didn't make it any easier to listen to the pained, panicked cries of soldiers so bravely fighting, and consequently falling to, the Female Titan.

"Target is accelerating!"

The pounding of the horses' hooves into the dirt was thunderous, but that of the Titan's footsteps that drew ever nearer amplified that tenfold. They all fell into an inharmonious, unfollowable melody of hellish proportions.

"Just keep moving," Levi said above the noise. "We'll outrun the bitch!"

With each stride the horses paced, we lost ground. But this close to the trap, we could not falter. I dared not glance back anymore, dared not even look at Levi to try to even attempt to gauge how he was feeling. 

Was he as nervous as I was? Did he have a feeling we might not reach the destination before the target caught us? The scouts had already lost the entire right wing today, cutting our forces in half, or nearly; how many more would we lose? How many more could we lose before the high brass decided to dispel our forces for good, deem us a dying cause, redistribute our resources and soldiers?

Time seemed to slow down then, as we reached a small clearing. As we rushed through the space, I turned my head to look as we passed by a large number of scouts, huddled around large artillery - the advance team and our traps. Time slowed down in that moment, yet came back in stunning detail and seemed almost too fast as soon as we were out of reach of the traps.

"Fire!" I heard, and all at once, everything erupted into chaos - the boom of the artillery rounds, the whizzing of the traps, the startled shriek of the Female Titan as she was caught, like a fly in a web.

We still did not stop, but I did turn my head to look over my shoulder at the pandemonium. The grapples of the traps shot out at unnatural angles and with terrifying speed, latching onto the Titan and piercing her skin. She managed to move her arms before they were locked in place and... blocked her nape with both hands. Of course.

Another wave was fired, and soon she was standing stock-still, as though perfectly frozen in time: standing, yet still; protecting her nape, yet trapped.

"Everyone hitch your horses a bit further on," Levi ordered. "Switch to maneuver gear. Amaya and I have to break away for a little while."

"Eld," I called, looking at my number-two even as I pulled back on Strider's reins to urge him to slow, "you're in charge until we get back."

"Yes, ma'am," he called proudly in affirmation.

"Tuck Eren somewhere out of sight, away from the Female Titan," Levi continued. "And see to our horses."

With that said, I started to follow as Levi leapt from his mount and latched onto a tree, swinging upwards and back towards the trapped Titan, but hesitated for a moment before doing so. I remained comfortably in the saddle as we all slowed to a stop, then turned to face my squad.

"Thank you all," I said earnestly, meeting all their eyes in turn. "For trusting us."

That was all I could say for now, so I sent them all a smile, then dismounted. Eld was there to take Strider's reins, and I paused beside him. "Take care of them, Eld," I said, meeting his gaze intently. "The day isn't over yet."

"And our job isn't done," Eld finished. "I know. I won't let my guard down."

"Good," I said, preparing to walk away.

"We all trust you and Captain Levi," Eld said before I could go anywhere, and that made me smile.

"And we trust you," I told him in return, meeting his eyes once more. "We'll be back soon."

I left them to it, and switched to the gear myself. I made it to the clearing and was able to quickly pick out the distinct figures of Levi and Erwin atop a branch. I went to them, but could not seem to look away from the Titan who was still trapped, but her eyes still seemed to be searching, looking, calculating.

I soon landed next to the commander, and did what I could to catch onto what they were discussing. It wasn't difficult to, especially with the somber atmosphere that weighed heavily on the air about them.

"We couldn't have without the rear contingent whose lives bought us time," Levi said. "This belongs to them. I don't intend to ever forget that."

"Is that so?" Erwin mused.

"Yes," Levi pressed. "Because of their sacrifices, we can expose whoever this really is - the one who's in there pissing themselves right about now."

"Amaya," Erwin greeted. "It's good to see you unharmed."

"It got close," I told him. "Closer than I'd have wanted. But it seems to have worked. Is she secure?"

"As secure as we can hope for," Erwin told me. "The traps worked perfectly."

"Good, then," I said, crouching down on the branch to unlace one of my boots to pull it tighter.

I let my gaze settle on the Titan who was still, of course, perfectly still. She seemed... calm, almost. There was no movement, no attempt to even shift slightly to feel if any of the traps were not secure, to see if she couldn't break free somehow.

"Have there been no attempts from her to escape?"

"None," Erwin said in answer.

"I don't like that," I said, making sure my boots were now nice and securely tied. "She's planning something, she has to be."

"We've prepared more rounds, in the event she does try something," Erwin assured me.

I stood up straight, crossing my arms over my chest, but I did not let my guard down. If she even so much as twitched a finger, I could slice her to bits - and I would. She'd killed enough people today.

"Who do you serve, I wonder," I mused quietly.

To kill other people... I've killed before. I was a criminal in more ways than one; I was a thief, a torturer, a murderer. It wasn't new for me. But I had always had a purpose, a job. In my entire life, I was sure I hadn't taken nearly as many lives as she has in just one day. I wanted to know what reason she had for it. To kill scouts, people working to advance humanity and retake what had been lost...

It didn't make sense to me. Unless, of course, she didn't want us out here trying to take back what Titans had stolen from us. But to go so far to do it, to go so far to get Eren... And why? Why keep us from progressing? Why keep Eren from helping us? Why not help us herself?

Levi drew one of his blades, likely intending to try cutting her from her Titan - assuming she was in the nape, just like Eren always sat within his own form, and where of course she was holding both hands to protect it.

"Not quite yet, Levi," Erwin said before he could go anywhere. "A little more insurance."

He looked down at the advance team, and cleared his throat before giving out the order. "Second and third waves, mark!" I covered my ears as the soldiers did as told, firing at the Titan more.

It was almost hard to watch... The key word being almost. I'd feel bad for her if she hadn't stolen so many of my comrades' lives, today. I wasn't sure if when someone turned into a Titan if they were still conscious, still able to feel pain, but I could imagine the pain of hundreds of grapples piercing my skin at once, tugging me in different directions with each tiny muscle I moved.

The three of us watched in silence as the Female Titan was lit up.

"Your gamble is paying off, so far," I said, looking at Erwin. "Let us hope this is worth all the lives lost today."

"I don't intend on letting any of their sacrifices be in vain," Erwin told me. "I promise you that. But for now, there is more work to be done."

"There's always more work to be done," I responded through a sigh before leaning forward to see Levi around Erwin. "The brats won't be happy when they figure out that we knew."

"It was necessary," Levi said, meeting my gaze easily.

"I know it was," I said. "That's not what I'm saying. I'm just imagining the earful we're going to get from them." I laughed quietly before letting it trail off into nothing. "I wanted to tell them so badly. To hear them begging us like that for an order..." I frowned and shook my head, not wanting to relive it so soon - their panic, their fear, their clear anguish. "I'll beat the shit out of that bitch for the emotional turmoil she put me through."

Erwin chuckled lightly, and Levi, of course, clicked his tongue irritably. "You damn woman," he muttered. Whatever insult he was about to say was lost as Erwin prepared to give the advance team another order to fire, and instead he settled on: "Cover your ears."

Stifling a laugh of my own, I covered my ears just in time for Erwin to shout the command. When the smoke cleared and the Titan snared more than before, with thousands of wires crisscrossing its body, Erwin looked to Levi.

"Levi," Erwin said, "would you like to do the honors with Mike?"

"With pleasure," he responded, leaping from the branch as Mike dove down from his position, cluing into Erwin's silent cue.

In tandem, the two elite soldiers swung towards the Female Titan's nape, preparing first to slice through her fingers to get them out of the way. They built up speed and momentum, and... their blades broke, shattering into pieces and sharp shards that fell to the ground below with distinct metallic clatters. Her hands had suddenly taken on an icy blue hue, and apparently became too tough to cut through.

My eyes narrowed right away, and I stepped closer to the edge of the branch for a closer look. To react faster than those two... to move in any capacity faster than the two strongest soldiers we had...

"She's well trained," I said, not looking away from the Titan. Erwin, it seemed, had come to the same conclusion. "Instinctual or not, what incredible reflexes..."

Levi returned to the branch we were on, and Mike did the same, regrouping with his squad for now; I took their place in the meantime, stepping off the branch easily and sending out a wire only when necessary to swing towards her.

I set a hook into the back of her head where I could find the room, and released the winch only enough to let me lower down until I was level with her hands. I leaned my weight to one foot and tapped the toe of the other against the stone-like material covering her hands.

They were still that cool blue color, dim underneath the thick canopy of trees, yet sparkling all the same from somewhere within. I lowered myself to crouch against her knuckles and rapped my own against the material. A solid sort of knock sounded from it, and since I was crouched anyway, I reached into my boot to retrieve my knife.

Their sword blades broke on impact, but maybe with a woman's touch - meaning, a little bit less brute force and a little bit more finesse - I could break through it.

The entire section was rather smooth, and it was hard to find even the slightest crevice to slip my blade between. "How do you do this, huh?" I asked quietly. "You didn't happen to write a manual on it, did you?" Of course, I got no answer, not that I was expecting one in the first place. "That'd be asking for too much, wouldn't it?"

Deciding this would be a worthless venture, I headed back up and pulled myself back up to the branch, this time beside Levi. "Your investigation proved fruitful, then," the stupid man said.

Honestly, it would have made me laugh if this situation wasn't so frustrating. I slid my hands into my jacket pockets and shrugged. "Even a failed experiment helps bring you to a conclusion," I murmured, reciting something Hange had told me once before. "I just hate this situation. She's completely surrounded by armed soldiers, and she's trapped. She's just stalling, isn't she? Do you think she's counting on those other Intelligent Titans to help her?"

"The bitch is scared," Levi muttered. His arms were crossed over his chest, and we both turned to watch as Erwin gestured for one of the squad leaders to come down. The soldier did, and we both listened in.

"Yes, sir?"

"Prepare an artillery round," Erwin ordered the soldier once he saluted. "I want her hands blown off."

"With all due respect, commander, there's a risk if we use the cannons," he responded. "The hands will get blown off but whatever's beneath them will, too, sir."

"A fine point, soldier," Erwin acknowledged, "which is why you'll aim carefully and sever them at the wrists. On my signal I want an all-out salvo."

"Yes, sir."

With the affirmative spoken, the soldier went off, the round was prepared, and... Levi dropped down onto the head of the Titan. "I think it goes without saying," Erwin said, "but I'm glad they won't fire unless I give the order."

I laughed lightly. "He chose a great time to go intimidate her, that's for sure."

"It'll take a moment to prepare for the next round," Erwin told me, nodding towards the Titan. "Feel free to join him."

"Gladly," I said, already firing off a wire. With a short burst of gas and the use of another wire, I found myself standing beside him on her head. I nearly lost my balance, but I grabbed onto his shoulder to keep steady. Thankfully, he didn't seem to mind, but I let go and stood securely on my own two feet once I found my footing with my boots tucked somewhere in her hair.

That's not your style," Levi said to her, "is it: remorse?" His eyes were dangerously narrow, and I knew that if Erwin didn't want her captured, Levi could carve through the front of her neck to reach her nape. "You enjoy killing, which means we have something in common. Of course, I enjoy killing Titans, but it's a start. I'm sure we can still find some middle ground."

I fought the urge to smile. While over the top, his shit-talking was the same as it always was. It was certainly enough to instill fear into his enemies - there was no doubt about that. I was happy that I wasn't his enemy, and that even for the brief time we worked against each other (unknowingly on my end), when I was nothing more than a thief, that Levi hadn't wanted me dead, else I'd have been subjected to one of these talks.

Oh, that's right," Levi continued as I set my controller grips in their holsters. "While we're on the subject, let me ask: you're ok with me cutting your limbs off at the joints, right? I mean, they'll grow back. I'm talking about your actual body. Don't want you dead just yet, the timing wouldn't work."

He spoke the last sentence slowly, and I was all too aware that the look in his eyes had all the intent to kill within them. All he needed was the word from Erwin, the slightest bit of resistance from her, and he would do it.

Today was... a whole lot like our first expedition. Everything was in his hands. This was his court, he was the dealer, he was the ringleader. Everything that would happen today would be by his choice. The only difference was that we were aware of it, now. We submitted to it. We trusted him.

But that expedition wasn't the only one I could draw comparisons with. No, this rather reminded me of Keith Shadis' very last expedition as Commander of the Survey Corps. Not tactically, not in our goal, not because of Erwin's leadership, but rather because of how many of us had been lost already.

Shadis' last expedition had been devastating to us all. We'd lost all but twenty scouts. Our ranks had been torn through in the worst way. Many scouts had seen their comrades die, had heard the dying gasps and pained shrieks of those they trained with, had needed to lead horses without riders home, and had been stained with the blood of those they trusted. Some had even tried futilely to save their cohorts, only for it to have been in vain.

Echoes of that despair still remained in my heart, but it was louder now as I was reminded of what that day had been like - and it was an awful lot like today.

I couldn't help but think that it was happening again, that we would return with the souls of the perished weighing heavily on our shoulders, for as surely as the dead could not speak, they very well watched every move the living made. Even now, I felt the ghosts of Caden and El, of Farlan and Isabel, of Flagon and Sairam and Moses following me, veritable wills-o'-the-wisp that judged my every move, heard my every word.

They kept me accountable, that was for damn sure.

I forced those thoughts away from my mind and returned to the matter at hand. "I can't believe it," I said to the Titan, wondering for a moment if from here she really could hear me or not. "You're letting him shit-talk without me."

I crouched down, not lowering my voice but actually ensuring that she heard me this time. We wouldn't have an exact count of how many we had lost today, nor who exactly they were until we got to a safe spot to rest and regroup. But losing any more than one soldier was too much, and I would make sure she knew that - that she would face justice for her actions.

"I know he asked if you were alright with your limbs being cut off," I said slowly, "but allow me to make it clear: I don't give a shit what your answer is. And as I'm sure you can guess, neither does he. If we're given the word, even by accident, you're done for. Do you understand?"

I glanced up at Levi. There was a certain kind of shine in his eyes, one I didn't see often. While his face did not betray it, the look in his eyes did: he was amused, even just slightly. I smiled inwardly, but looked back down at the Titan. I maneuvered myself to the front of her head, taking a handful of her hair in hand and dropping down, landing with my boot against the bridge of her nose.

"Let me give you some advice," I offered evenly, then gestured to Levi who was still watching dutifully from his spot atop her head. "Don't piss that one off. I don't know who you are in there, or who you think you are, but I can promise you this: Titan body or not, Levi and I are both more than qualified to kill you - and we can do it in more ways than one, maybe more ways than you can expect."

Her blue eyes seemed to focus on me, but only for a brief moment before glazing over with... something. All at once, a great deal of energy was gathered up, and I could feel the breath rush by me on the way to fill her lungs. "What the hell are you-"

The words I wanted to say all died in my throat and I nearly lost my grip on her hair as she suddenly woke up from her stupor, opened her mouth, and screamed. It wasn't a shriek, or a regular shout or scream, but one of horrifying proportions, truly. It was a terrible, grating, wavering sort of noise, and the force of it all made my foot slip from its place against her nose and my hands scrambling for purchase on her hair.

"Shit," I gasped out, unable at the moment to worry about my desire to cover my ears. All I could do was grab her hair once more, and I started climbing up, hurrying to reach the top of her head. Levi was there to help me up, and I took his hand once offered and let him pull me up. "Thanks," I said, though I'm sure there was no way in hell he would be able to hear it.

But then... just as quickly as it had come... she stopped. The noise ceased within a moment, and I swallowed hard, trying to mitigate the ringing in my ears.

"You alright?" Levi asked. When I nodded, he turned his attention to the Titan. ""Nicely done," he said. "I almost lost my composure."

"Are you getting nervous there, girlie?" I asked. "Screaming won't help anyone."

All around us, murmurs from the scouts in the branches reached our ears. "Were those like death throes or something?"

"How pathetic..."

I could hear scouts all around us jeering, tossing insults at her, questioning what that was, and so much more. But what caught my attention was movement from one of them. I watched as Mike made his way quickly to Commander Erwin, and I knew straight away that it meant trouble.

"That's never good," I said to Levi, who noticed this exchange as well. "Something's wrong."

"Yeah," Levi agreed. "I know." The timing couldn't have been better, for next thing we knew, we heard thundering footsteps - loud, heavy, and... clearly from more than one Titan. "Shit," Levi muttered under his breath.

"What the hell did you do," I hissed, reaching for one of my controller grips.

Erwin's voice reached us over all the commotion - panicked scouts, and a swarm of titans starting to emerge from the shadows not from one direction, not even from two, but from every single direction, all around us. "Let's run the artillery, gentlemen! Wagon defense squad, intercept, now!"

Everything erupted into a flurry of movement, chaotic yet choreographed, terrible yet incredible. As the Titans broke through the tree line, every single scout in the immediate vicinity took to the sky, switching to the gear to fight.

To everyone's shock, the Titans completely ignored the soldiers going for them. Instead, they charged straight for us – no, not us. The Female Titan.

"Oh, fuck," I said, my gaze roving across the area, watching as Titans abnormal and otherwise drew ever closer. I tensed, bringing my dominant controller grip to the opposite sheath to attach a blade to it. Then, I repeated, "What the hell did you do?!"

"Hey," Levi said, ignoring the calls of the soldiers, opting instead to stomp on her head. He asked the same thing: "What did you do? Called in some friends, didn't you?"

I leapt from her head just before Levi did, latching onto the closest titan and swinging around it to get to its nape. Levi, quicker than usual, took care of the other two in the blink of an eye. But there were more. So many more.

"Shit," I hissed, barely dodging an incoming Titan's ham-fisted attempt to grab...me? No, its hand was reaching for something else. Still, it nearly swiped me out of the air and so I released both wires and I dropped down onto its arm. I ran along it, leaping off only when it made to snap its jaws at me - with another well-placed hook and a well-timed exhalation of gas, I reached its nape and sliced through it easily.

It fell to the ground, and as it did, I took another look around just to gauge the situation. I didn't have time to look for long; another Titan approached, not with the intent to kill but rather to go right by me. Goodness, even normal Titans were acting like abnormals right now. How the hell was she able to...?

"The enemy is bearing down from all directions!"

Well, that was obvious. I killed the Titan closest to me, then the next, then the next.

"All hands, commence combat," Erwin ordered. "Defend the Female Titan at all costs!"

Defend her? Sure, if only to ensure Levi or myself were able to kill her later. Still, it wasn't like I needed permission to kill Titans, so without hesitation, I dove into the fray with dozens of other soldiers, weaving through the tangled mess of wires and flailing limbs.

I sliced through the napes of six more following them in rapid succession, my speed increasing and increasing, but even through all of that, nothing had changed - they just didn't care about us. They were all going right for the Female Titan. I shot out a wire and perched against a tree branch. I steadied myself with my feet pressed to the trunk to watch the horror as it unfolded. The scouts seemed to be holding their own rather well; Titan after Titan was killed, but with each monster destroyed, three more seemed to take its place.

I barely registered the bodies of other scouts zipping around, killing beast after beast. There were just so many, our efforts were barely making a dent in their numbers. The titans, efficient eaters, were chewing through her faster than we could kill them. I made to jump back into the fray, only to pause when I caught sight of what they were doing to the Female Titan. They were... eating her.

Then, Erwin's voice rang out clearly, like a bell through the chaos.

"All hands, withdraw," Erwin commanded. "Redeploy the formation! Return to Karanes district!"

What?!

"A full retreat," I muttered. "Right now?"

Orders were orders, and I was nothing if not a good soldier. So I obeyed, staying put against the tree and watching every other scout do the same. "Captain," I heard, and I turned to watch a familiar soldier drop onto a branch by the trunk. "What's going... Er, do you..."

The soldier, a young scout named Jeremy, faltered in his words and I shook my head ruefully. "I don't know," I said quietly, so quietly that I'm not even sure he heard me or not. "I just don't know. But orders are orders: we retreat, and we don't look back. Understood?"

"Understood, Captain Amaya."

I was breathless and exhausted, but something told me that the fight wasn't over yet. Erwin wouldn't just order a retreat - it wasn't his style. I glanced at where he now stood on a branch, issuing orders to aid with the retreat. Just what was he playing at...?

I made my way down to the branch Erwin and Levi occupied after having helped rid the area of Titans, and while everyone else readied to leave this accursed forest, I did what I could to catch my breath. Titan blood, burning hot and steaming, evaporated away slowly, leaving the skin under my clothes cold and my body aching with exertion.

"We've been bested," I heard Erwin say.

"Don't give me that crap," Levi snapped, "not now. Not yet."

"Think about it," Erwin said, sounding very much unlike himself - which made it all the more suspicious. I suppose it was too much to ask for him to give us a straight answer. "The enemy was prepared to make sacrifices – enormous ones. She was so committed to maintaining her secret, she'd rather let herself be cannibalized than exposed."

"That whole song and dance in the courtroom and this is what we've got to show for it," Levi huffed. "We scurry back now with our tail between our legs, Eren's right back in chains or worse."

"We'll jump off that bridge when we come to it," Erwin replied.

Trust in Erwin aside, I couldn't help but agree with Levi. "After all of this," I said, "we can't give up. We put the scouts through so much today, and so many gave their lives selflessly. We can't go back empty-handed."

"That's unlike you, Amaya," Erwin said. "All that research with Hange, and gained knowledge still leaves you empty-handed?"

I sighed and looked away from him. I really just wish he would give it to us straight. Or even if he wouldn't, if he did really think we should retreat now... why? Why had we given up so much?

Levi sneered at Erwin, clearly displeased. "We'll gather up our squad," Levi said resolutely. His eyes met mine briefly, a silent way of asking if I was coming along. The look I sent him in return said it all: Of course. I took a step towards the edge of the branch, when Erwin spoke, making us both stall in our movements.

"Not yet, you two," he said slowly, surely. I looked up at him, then sidelong at Levi. No, really. What the hell was he playing at? I made to ask, when he continued. "First, replenish your blades and your fuel."

I glanced down at my equipment. I hadn't gone through too many blades, and I still had plenty of gas to get to our squad. "I can deal with what I've got," Levi said impatiently. "We're running against the clock as it is. Why?"

"Because I said so," Erwin stated simply. "That's an order."

I fought the urge to say something snarky in return. Instead, I settled for a simple, "yes, sir," and started heading towards the soldiers in charge of our supplies.

Levi looked at Erwin for another beat or two. "Whatever you say, sir," he said bitterly, knowing damn well calling him sir would strike a nerve in Erwin. Commander or not, he treated us as equals, and we did the same with him. So for him to do this to us now, to play the Commander card when all we wanted to know was why the hell we would retreat like this... Oh, it had to hurt. But now was not the time to address it.

"I trust you implicitly," Levi said with a sense of finality.

I said nothing more to Erwin and instead took the lead down to one of the supply carts. We were of course without our horses, so after resupplying, Levi and I were stuck using the maneuver gear as the main forces retreated.

I had to admit it felt strange going off alone like this. Even when in the vanguard, we would ride ahead of the main forces, but we led them towards the destination. This... this just felt like desertion, or like mutiny, and though it was a direct order, there was a strange tugging at my heart.

We weren't that far on our way when a roar, accompanied by the now familiar though terribly distant sound of a Titan transformation, caught our attention. Oh. So that's why Erwin had us replenish.

He'd foreseen this. Of course he did.

"Levi," I said uselessly, knowing he had heard it too.

"We're going," he said, latching onto a tree and swinging around it to change course.

We flew through the trees in the direction we had just heard the noise from, going as fast as physically possible and then some. Levi's natural gift of speed, and the techniques I'd developed back underground came in incredibly useful here.

I was right to assume our battle wasn't over yet. Whoever controlled this Female Titan, she was noticeably more experienced than Eren. She had powers we couldn't have anticipated, simply because we didn't know they were possible.

And that... that was the fatal flaw of today's gamble. It was now fair to assume the worst; we didn't see the person controlling the Titan get eaten, so she had escaped. If she had gear, escape would have been all too easy. And whereas Eren couldn't assume his Titan form too much, simply for lack of experience and instruction, we could safely say that if she could assume Titan form and escape after being captured, she could certainly transform again.

I only hoped we could reach our subordinates before it was too late. If Eren heard the transformation, he'd likely panic and transform himself - unless that had been him.

The thundering booms of a fight, or what was clearly something the size of, oh, let's say a 15-meter Titan, stomping around in the woods, was what led us on. We followed the noise, pushing each other to go faster, faster, faster.

We drew closer to the Titan cries, and that's when we saw him.

Him.

Him being... The limp, cold corpse of Gunther, hanging from a tree with his grapple still hooked into the wood. With no wind, his body did not sway. With no energy to give it breath, his body did not move. His dark eyes were darker now, shadowed by the canopy of trees but glossed over with the fogginess of death.

He was dead.

Gunther was dead.

But how?

And why?

"No," I breathed out, but though I wished not to be seeing what I was, I dared not falter. I looked ahead, dreading what we'd see next.

—

"Captain," someone called. "Captain Amaya!" I slowed to a stop in the hallway, recognizing the voice of Gunther Schultz - and when I turned, I smiled, for of course I'd been correct. He jogged to catch up to me, and I didn't have the heart to tell him that he didn't need to do that.

"Good evening, Gunther," I said in greeting.

I'd just come in from training; we both had, as had Levi and the rest of the squad - our squad. Today had been our first day of Levi and I leading the Special Operations Squad, and I'd taken some time afterward to continue speaking with them, not on professional business, but just as a friend.

After getting inside, I'd spoken with Petra for a few moments more (and goodness, was she a sweetheart), and now I was finally heading up to my office. I hadn't even reached the stairwell before being sought out, but I didn't mind.

Gunther smiled, but smothered it and schooled his face into a countenance of professionalism, of stoicism, but hidden away in his eyes was thinly-veiled excitement. "Good evening, Captain," he said in return and then he... oh, goodness. He saluted to me.

Sure, by a technicality, I'd been a higher-up for quite some time now, but having people salute to me was something that even now, I was not used to. It was treatment I had never received before, and I didn't know how to react, really.

Protocol or not... I understood the necessity of it, but my cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Here was a trained soldier, strong in a great many ways and so devoted to humanity that he was prepared to die for it, saluting to me, of all people.

"Thank you," I said, "but put that away, please."

His eyebrows furrowed and it was clear he was confused. "What do you mean?"

"You don't need to hold the salute," I explained. "We're not in battle, and we're not training. There's no need to be so formal."

"Oh, but captain-"

"Today marks the beginning of what I hope is a long partnership," I told him with a warm smile. "I'd rather not waste valuable conversation time with you saluting the whole time. And drop the Captain business, too. If we're not on a mission or training, I'm just Amaya."

"Oh," he said, finally lowering his arms, albeit hesitantly and awkwardly.

I set a hand on my hip and chuckled at such a reaction. "Do I intimidate you, Gunther?"

"Ah, speaking honestly? Just a bit, ma'am," he answered rather meekly. "I've heard the rumors about you and Captain Levi. If even half of what I've heard is true, you two are worth an entire army when you fight together - and I've been with the scouts long enough to have seen it myself."

"I'm not so sure about that," I said through a laugh, "but thank you. I like to think that we're rather strong. At the very least, Erwin seems to think so, otherwise we wouldn't have been given the chance to lead a squad, the Special Operations unit, especially."

"That's what I came to talk to you about, actually," he said. "I'd like to thank you for giving me the chance to work with you. I'll do my best for you, captain!"

"It was an easy decision to make," I told him, doing what I could to not outwardly beam at him. "You impressed not only me, but Levi as well. And that takes some doing. You've got lots of talent, Gunther."

"Thank you, Captain Amaya," he said, the excitement in his eyes now reaching his smile, his voice. And go figure, he saluted once more. I fought the urge to laugh; it looked like we'd need to work on being more informal. But that'd come with time. So, without really thinking of it, I slammed a salute to my own chest, surprising the hell out of him.

"I look forward to working with you, Gunther," I said, finally turning on my heel and continuing on towards my office to finally catch up on my paperwork.

—

It had taken Gunther months to finally loosen up and agree to call me just Amaya when we visited each other on casual terms. If he asked me for one-on-one help regarding new maneuvering techniques, when I met him to go over progress reports, and even when we would chat in the hallway in passing, he would always treat me with the utmost respect. It took him a long time to just let go of the formalities, but we had gotten there.

Now... he was dead.

No more, I pleaded with fate. Tell me the others are fine.

It wasn't like Gunther to go off on his own. So, if he was here, then...

No, don't think like that.

We continued onwards, towards the sounds of fighting. I kept my eyes trained for movement; hopefully, they had the foresight to get out of the way of the damn thing.

Only...

If fate had heard my pleas, it hadn't listened and it had not granted my wish. It hadn't, because of all people... Oh, goddesses, why him?

Eld was the next one we saw. I'd been flying along, but at just the sight of him lying on the forest floor, all my focus was centered there and so I missed with my next wire. I fell to the ground unceremoniously, only just able to let out enough gas to cushion my landing even somewhat. Across patches of dirt and rocks and grass I tumbled, finally coming to a stop right next to him - assuredly fate's cruel punishment for begging for mercy.

Only half of him was here. I saw his lower half discarded yards away, but my eyes were drawn back to his face.

"No," I whispered, for I could not summon the breath for more than that as tears formed in my eyes, "no more."

His eyes... lifeless and dry, now, did not meet my own. His smile did not reach his lips. He couldn't greet me like he always had.

"It's happening again," I murmured, unable to look away.

—

As it turned out, the piano in this previously abandoned base still worked. After a long day of training and experiments, as promised, Gunther brought me up here and Eld tagged along after stating he wanted to take a listen, too. It was shaping up to be a good way to spend a lazy afternoon to rest before the evening chores.

The room where Gunther found the piano was spacious, now seemingly used for storage. There was of course the piano set close to these large, beautiful open windows, but there were als several stacks of large boxes and barrels placed against its walls.

I walked over to a lone box set by the piano and hopped up to sit atop it. I gestured for Eld to do the same, and he did. We both waited with bated breath for Gunther to start playing, and when he did... It was a twinkling little sound, of light notes and a simple melody, and it was beautiful.

The weight of our eyes on him must have embarrassed or unnerved him, because Gunther looked up from the keys and smiled bashfully, letting the last few notes echo to the far corners of the room

"So, you do have some talent," Eld teased.

"At least one of us does," Gunther said, confidence returning to his features now.

"It's incredible," I beamed at him. "I never would've guessed a piano would sound so pretty!"

"I don't remember too much," Gunther said. "But there are some melodies that have been burned into my brain for all of eternity."

Eld chuckled. "So, you were a rich kid, huh?"

"Not really," he answered, the fingers of one hand dancing mindlessly along the keys yet somehow forming something that might have been a song. "My grandpa used to play, so he taught me."

"Well," Eld said, "got anything we can dance to?"

"Of course," Gunther said, as though it was obvious. Maybe to him, it was. "How would a waltz do?"

"That'll do just fine," Eld said, standing up and heading to the center of the room.

"You dance?" I asked, excited to watch.

"I know how to, yes," Eld said, holding his hand out to me. When I didn't take his hand, he held it up higher, as though I hadn't seen it. "Come on, then. I can't waltz by myself."

"I don't know how," I said hesitantly, taking his hand anyway and letting him lead me to the middle of the room.

"I can teach you," he said with a smile. "It's easier than you think. Take my hand like this," he said, taking my right hand. "Your other hand goes here, on my arm." He looked at my arm, then laughed lightly. "Relax your elbow."

"Oh, oops," I said, resting my elbow on top of his after noticing it was sticking up rather awkwardly.

"We'll start with the basic box step," he said, as though I would know what the hell that meant. "Take a step back on your right foot when I step forward." I had no time to even mentally prepare myself as Gunther started to play once more, and Eld started guiding me through the movements. Eld was a patient teacher, slowly walking me through the basics and - when I got the hang of those - more advanced techniques and moves.

"That's it," he praised when I at last was able to be dipped without being scared out of my damn mind by how sudden it was.

It took me a while, with Gunther assuredly going through songs repeatedly, but eventually I got the hang of it and we started to chat while dancing, and Eld had been right. It was easier than I thought it was.

"This is fun," I eventually told him, taking his cue and ducking under his arm once he lifted my hand. "I didn't realize you were so graceful on your feet."

"You know how good I am with the gear," he said with a sly, mischievous smile. "This shouldn't come as a shock to you. Now that you've got the hang of it, you're doing great."

"Am I?" At his nod, my smile grew earnest and more than a bit bashful. "Thank you for teaching me."

"I figure everyone should know at least a little bit," Eld said with a shrug. "I mean, when you and Captain Levi finally seal the deal, I expect there to be at least one dance."

"I doubt he knows how," I said, chuckling at the thought of him even learning to dance.

"Don't tell him," Eld responded with a grimace, "but I don't really want to be the one to teach him."

"I don't blame you," I said.

"Forgive me if it's too personal," Eld said, keeping his voice lower now, so that Gunther wouldn't overhear, "but have you talked with Levi about it, since we went to the market? Marriage?"

"Sort of," I answered noncommittally. "It's... Well, I haven't given it much more thought, lately."

"I see," Eld said, and I couldn't help but note the distinct sadness reaching his gaze now. "You two are all over each other. You want to, don't you?"

"If we have the chance, yes," I answered. "I do want to. And of course, it's only if he wants to. Ring or not, I know how he feels, and he knows how I feel. I just... It wasn't a big deal, underground, so I don't blame him for... Well, you know. It's a bigger deal up here, isn't it?"

"It's a nice way to celebrate your love," he said. "But if you two don't need to get married, there shouldn't be pressure to. But I will say I wake up each morning expecting that one of these days, I'm going to look at your hands and see rings on them." He laughed good-naturedly. "You might even be able to convince Erwin to let us have a small ceremony for you two. That'd sure raise morale around here."

"A ceremony?"

"We could throw you a small wedding, sure," he said earnestly. "Complete with your father walking you down the aisle and a big cake."

I shook my head. "I never knew my real father. And... my adoptive father is dead, too."

"Oh," Eld said, traces of melancholy reaching his tone just as it had reached my own. He spun me then, a slow and simple twirl that seemed to give him the time he needed to think. "Well," he said slowly, "it doesn't need to be your father, necessarily. It could just be someone you trust, to give you away to your husband, so to speak."

I looked up at him, stalling in my step slightly and nearly making him trip over my feet. But he held firm, and looked down at me steadily. "Would you walk me down, then?"

He looked surprised, yet I couldn't imagine why he would. He was my aide, he was the one I trusted most of our subordinates. I trusted them all, that was obvious, but Eld and I spent the most time together of the four, and even including Eren. It's how it's been, since we first signed them on as our Special Operations Squad.

We trained together often, his desire to be the best he could possibly be inspiring me to no end. He was always there to assist me with my reports, even the ones he did not have to do.

No matter what, whether it was more training or me asking him to help me figure something out or just if I needed someone to talk to, he was always there - and he always agreed with a smile.

"Of course," Eld finally said. "I... Thank you, Amaya."

"No," I said, shaking my head even as a smile curled on my lips. "Thank you!"

—

Now... I'd never see him smile again.

I reached towards him with shaky hands, and gently, so gently, closed his eyes for him. God, he was so cold already. "I'm so sorry I couldn't save you," I said to him, getting to my feet as a tear rolled down my cheek. No, I couldn't cry here. I took one last look at him, wiped my eyes with the heel of one hand, then leapt back into the air, taking off again to catch up with Levi.

It didn't take long for me to catch up with Levi, because it didn't take long to see the next two soldiers... or rather, their corpses. Levi was perched against a tree, looking down at Petra who was crushed against the trunk. And there was Olou, dead and sickeningly still on his stomach. Levi was just leaping from the tree again towards the fighting, and I kept pace with him, trying to keep myself from getting sick from what I saw. There was nothing to be said.

We sped up, the forest going by us so quickly it was all a blur of brown and green. We pressed on.

—

"No, that can't be right," Olou said, taking the paper from me and rereading it. "I definitely had more assists that month. Definitely more than Gunther."

"Not according to the write-up," I said with a smile. "You're the only one on the squad who claims to have gotten more. When I asked everyone else, they even said that they might have given you some undue credit. Running as a distraction doesn't exactly count as an assisted kill for you, I'm afraid."

"They're fudging the numbers," he said, putting the paper down on the table forcefully. We were in the mess hall, reviewing his work for the month. It was routine, but as always, Olou - talented though he was - managed to make a song and dance of it. "They wanna pass me, and the only way to do that is to fake the data."

"If you say so," I said playfully, looking back at the document.

"Doubt me all you want," he said, crossing his arms over his chest, "but I'll be promoted to a squad leader soon enough. I won't have to take orders anymore. I could go off and kill all the titans before you even have a chance to switch to your gear."

"You do realize Levi and I still have to take orders from Commander Erwin, yes?"

"Well, of course," he said after thinking it over for a moment. "But-"

"Oh," someone cheerful chirped. "Good afternoon, Captain!" It was Petra, who walked forth happily into the mess hall with a small box balanced in her arms. "And to you too, Olou!"

"Hello, Petra," I greeted, watching curiously as she crossed the space.

"I'd salute to you," she said, "but I'm a bit preoccupied at the moment!"

"It's fine," I said with a smile. "There's no need. What have you got there?"

"My family sent me some ingredients for some pastries I used to bake all the time," she told me, pausing in her step towards the kitchen. "I thought I'd make some for all of us!"

"Ooh," I said, suddenly very interested. "Would you like some help? I used to bake with my father when we could afford to."

"I'd love some help," she said, smiling graciously. "I could probably find some use for you too, Olou, if you want." She continued towards the kitchens and I stood up, leaving the documents where they were.

"Come on then, Olou," I called, following after Petra now, and looking back towards him over my shoulder. "I know you've got nothing else better to do."

In the kitchen, Petra began setting out the ingredients and gave us a list of utensils and cookware to grab once we had all washed up. "This is so exciting," she said. "Back home, I would have help from my little cousins. I suppose you two should be a bit more helpful than them... or so I hope."

"I'm good at everything I do, Petra my dear," Olou said.

Petra turned, looking at him with an unamused look. She pointed at him with a spoon. "If you dare bite your tongue and bleed into any of these damn pastries, I will not hesitate to wring your neck."

"Feisty, feisty," Olou muttered, grabbing a large bowl.

"Play nice, you two," I said, most of my focus centered on what I was doing.

"Oh, you want feisty, do you? Why don't I tell Captain Levi that you were considering swapping his cravats for napkins so you could make off with his?"

"Oh, wow," I said, not daring to get in the middle of this - not when it was about to get fun.

"That's how you're going to play this, huh? Why don't you tell him you were going to intentionally make a mess just so Levi would have an excuse to watch over you?"

"Ah, jeez," I said, setting my hands on my hips. "Looks like I've lost control." I backed away as Petra lobbed a handful of flour at Olou to shut him up as they threw comeback after comeback at each other. "I think they've got it from here."

—

We flew over Eren's titan form, but it was... headless. There was a chunk missing from the neck, surrounded by large gouges, indicative of teeth having bitten through.

She had him.

The bitch that had taken the lives of every member of our squad now had Eren.

My eyes narrowed as I forced myself to go faster. I forced my heartbreak aside, I set my grief in the back of my mind and closed off the part of my heart that was breaking more and more by the second. 

I allowed only one thought to remain in the forefront of my mind: she would take nothing else from me today.