Our search brought us to a part of the city I did not frequent often. Smoke sat in a heavy smog about the neighborhood, and the smell did nothing more than make my eyes water and tempt me to lift my cloak up to cover my mouth and nose. It was awful.

What a sight we must have been... a group of soldiers and a street rat walking down the middle of the street, dodging groups of drinking men and weaving between groups of prostitutes all looking for their next lucky customer.

This was a street rife with brothels, and bars, and motels of the unsavory type. Rooms were cheap, the furniture rickety and the walls paper-thin... not that such conditions would keep any of these men from picking out a woman to take to bed.

Levi in particular seemed... tense, shall I say? His eyes were searching always for something I couldn't see, and he seemed ever prepared to spring into action. But whatever it was he thought would happen... did not happen. I resigned myself to ask him about it later; perhaps a job or two had taken him here, and he had bad memories of it?

Whatever the case, he was disturbed just by being here, and I implored Mason gently to pick up the pace, if not for just the job's sake, but more so for Levi's. I didn't mention that part, but Mason must have understood that there was a reason behind me asking because he did.

We met briefly with one of his friends, and then were on our way once more through the city. Towards a recently abandoned warehouse we went, the promise of an upcoming battle beginning to run through my veins.

—

Of all places for a hunted man to rest, he picked a good one. The place was large, with lots of side rooms and closets and nooks and crannies and what have you, for hiding out in. But we were smart, and I was growing more thankful by the second that Mason was with us, because that meant we had another set of hands that were duly careful and well-trained for this sort of thing. Not that Erwin and Hange were doing a bad job, they just weren't as experienced as we were with this sort of thing.

As I pulled a door open slowly, my knife prepared in front of me, I thought back for a moment at what had happened just outside this building. Mason was stubborn, that was for damn certain.

"Just getting us here is more than we could have asked you for," I had said to Mason. My comrades were standing by the doors, readying their blades and their gear, while I addressed him. According to all the intel we had gathered, this was the place. "The entire Survey Corps thanks you."

"Oh, please," Mason had replied, clearly bashful and clearly unwilling to accept such praise. "That's not true. You know not to flatter me, Amaya."

I had smiled at that, responding easily. "Mason, I'll have you know that I have the authority to say that the entire regiment thanks you."

"Uh huh," he had replied, unconvinced.

"I haven't mentioned it? Levi and I are Captains, now."

"Oh, I see," he said with a laugh, "So, you're gonna flaunt your authority now?"

"If you don't listen, then sure," I said. "You'll have left me no choice."

"It sounds to me like you're about to tell me something I won't like, Amaya. Just say it."

"Mason, you still are one of my dearest friends," I told him sincerely. "I want you to be safe. So, first, you know the house I used to live in, yes?"

"With Levi and the others? I visited you, once. I remember."

"Good, then," I said. "Go there now. The door will be locked, but I trust you know how to pick a lock. In the kitchen by the baseboard under the window there's a loose floorboard. Pull it open and you'll see a small safe, the combination is 15-24-29, and-"

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Inside it, you'll find all the money we had saved up before we left."

"Amaya," he had protested right away. "No, I couldn't possibly-"

"We don't need it anymore," I had cut in right away. "With what we've got saved up, you might be able to buy citizenship for yourself."

"That's great and all," he said, smiling then, "but you know that I'm not going to bow out of this."

"Mason," I sighed, but he spoke more before I could.

"I haven't seen you in how long, and you think I'm going to just leave now? You know me better than that, and I'd hope you'd want to spend more time with me, too." He had a cheeky smile on his face, and it was clear when I frowned that he had successfully baited me into feeling guilty.

"You know I want to," I began to argue, but he cut me off once more.

"I appreciate it, I do. But I'm not leaving until I see you guys safely to the stairwell."

"You're something else," I said, shaking my head fondly. "Still, for someone unarmed, this can get very dangerous very quickly."

He blinked once, then twice, his eyes wide and his gaze incredulous. "You think I'm unarmed?"

"You don't have gear," I said. "That's what I mean."

"I'm just as dangerous with a knife as you are," he said. "Have some faith in me, huh?"

"Alright, fine," I relented at last. "You win."

That led us here, and now we were all carefully searching, and I was wondering if the man wasn't really here until finally...

"Ouch!"

"Hange," Levi and I said in unison. He'd been searching not too far from me, with Erwin and Hange on the other side, with Mason on his own, but now, we all congregated on running to Hange's aid. Turns out, Wright had found Hange, and got them good with an elbow right to the nose.

Only minutes later, a rather fast-paced chase through the warehouse after him resulted in us - meaning Mason and myself - cutting him off and grabbing hold of each of his arms. Levi was right on our heels, and as he took Wright's hand from mine and wrenched it behind him, forcing Wright to his knees, Mason and I stepped back and we shared a smile.

"Maybe you should've joined our gang too," I said to him, setting my hands on my hips.

"Maybe," Mason echoed. "This was fun. We work well together, don't you think?"

I nodded, returning my attention to Wright who was now effectively restrained, knowing that I had to focus on the job, now. Levi stood behind him after having bound his wrists, and now, Hange and Erwin now caught up. Mason, Hange and I stood off to one side as Erwin stepped forth, prepared to ask him a few questions.

"Scouts, huh?" Jace spoke, his voice laced with venom. "The hell are you doing down here? Aren't you supposed to be off killing yourselves outside the walls?"

When Erwin responded, he spoke surely, evenly, impassively. "We heard rumors that we were told you might clear up."

"Regarding?"

"The attacks on the walls," Erwin answered confidently. "We were hoping you might cooperate with us."

"We, who? And why the hell should I help you when you've got me on my knees like this?"

"I am Commander Erwin Smith," he said, introducing himself. "And these are a few of my comrades."

Wright looked at Mason. "And a street rat, I see."

"Someone kind enough to lend us their help," Erwin corrected. "We heard you know something about the Titans that attacked Wall Maria."

"And if I do? Why should I tell you?"

"Because we're all humans with a constant threat, that threat being the Titans. If you do indeed have information on them, it would help not only us, but all of humanity."

"But I won't ever be important enough to be in the history books, nor ever labeled as a hero," Jace spat out, and the vehemence and indignation in his voice was terrible to hear. "I'm a rat in the eyes of society and that's all I'll ever be. So again, I ask you: why should I help you, and all of humanity, for that matter?"

"You don't need to do anything you don't want to. Just know that any information about Titans and our history would greatly help our cause."

"I'm sure," Wright said slowly. "But it's strange, you see."

"What is?"

"Your idiocy," he said. "Your movements in the city caused quite a stir. Hold a hunted man down in any one place, and people will make their own opportunity."

Erwin opened his mouth to speak but before a single word could brush past his lips, a knife whizzed by my ear. It was a damn good thing it hadn't been aimed at me; I'd be dead, otherwise. The blade embedded itself in Wright's chest, and I would have been surprised if his words weren't true.

I knew how things operated down here. I knew the rules. I knew how this would play out.

I just hadn't expected it to happen so soon.

I looked over my shoulder and let my eyes drift upwards, further and further until they reached the rafters of the warehouse. Hidden in the shadows were several people crouched down, hard to spot if you didn't know what you were looking for. But I did. And I knew, for they hadn't killed us, that they were not after us.

They had killed their target, there was no reason for them to be here. They'd file out soon.

For now though, Erwin crouched down and set his hand on Jace's shoulder. "Is there anything to be done?"

"Down here?" He scoffed. "Don't make me laugh. You who grew up in the sun with doctors to make house calls whenever you got so much as a small boo-boo... No, I'll be dead long before you find anyone who can help."

Erwin's eyes narrowed; obviously, this wasn't sitting well with him, but even he knew that there was nothing left to be done now. And besides, there was nothing more honest than a dying man.

I crouched down beside Erwin and looked into Jace's eyes. He had the glassy, forlorn look of a dying man, clouding those hazel eyes of his. "I'm Amaya," I said gently to him. "Please, tell me. Do the rumors hold any water?"

"They might," Jace said, meeting my gaze evenly. He slumped over a bit, succumbing to his wound, and I took hold of his shoulder, holding him up as best I could. He did what he could to maintain eye contact with me, and when next he spoke, it was quiet. "I recognize that name. You grew up here, didn't you? I heard of a few streetwise thugs that were brought to the scouts. You one of them?"

"I am," I answered with a nod. "I spent my whole life here, until I was brought up to become a soldier."

"I knew it," he said, his voice growing softer. "Amaya Ikeda, is it? I knew your father."

My eyes widened at that, and I wished that - for his sake and mine - that he might pull through this injury, that someone might magically arrive to heal him. "You knew Elwin?"

"Worked with him for a number of years in the MP's," he confirmed. "He was a good man. Very good. Far too good for this city - perhaps that's why he took you in. It's a shame what happened to him. And..."

"And?" I prompted gently.

"And these walls hold lots of secrets," Jace told me quietly, so quietly that I wasn't sure if anyone else could hear, and his eyes were intense, very intense. "The power is unsettled, and it is not held by who you might think. It's dangerous to know any more than that, and it is dangerous to even try. I advise against it."

"Why? Who holds the power?"

"Don't ask too many questions," Jace said, his voice a low rasp. "Don't end up like your father."

"What...? What happened to my father, exactly? Do you know who killed him?"

There was no answer. He only coughed up a wad of blood, the mess splattering against my stomach as he slumped over further and then... he was gone.

—

"Just our luck," Hange sighed as one of the nurses in the medical wing examined their nose. "We find someone who can tell us the answers to everything, even about these new Titans, and we get him killed."

"Seems like this regiment seems to always have luck like that," I said. I was sitting beside Hange as the nurse did what she could to inspect Hange's nose. It looked broken to me, and it seemed that I was correct.

"Stop moving," the nurse commanded sternly, bringing both hands to Hange's nose.

"Wait, why?"

"I just need to fix this," the nurse said absently, focusing far more on what she was doing than really answering Hange. "Stop talking, please."

"Amaya," Hange said, "what is she doing?"

"She's just going to manually realign your nose," I said, preemptively taking Hange's hand into my own.

"Wha-"

Hange's question was cut off by a startled squeal and even I winced, because they squeezed my hand so damn tight. "Ow," I said when they let go, a string of apologies escaping their mouth. "But look at your nose, it's all better now!"

"Is it?"

"It is," the nurse confirmed, stretching a bandage over it. "I know whatever I tell you will go in one ear and out the other, but do try to take it easy, will you?"

"And take it easy on me, too," I muttered playfully, taking my "injured" hand into my good one, rubbing it gently to accentuate what Hange did.

Hange, feeling better now, laughed loudly. "Yeah, yeah," they said. "Let's go eat!"

I let Hange loop my arm with their own and lead me out of the hospital wing. We made it only a few steps out when I felt the weight of someone's steady gaze on us and despite not needing to, I turned to look.

"Aw, Levi," Hange cooed, evidently having noticed him as well. Hange hugged my arm close to their chest, pulling me ever closer and pressing their cheek to mine. "Were you that worried about us?"

"Amaya wasn't hurt," Levi said simply. "There was no reason to be worried."

Well, I'd have found it sweet if it didn't inadvertently insult Hange. Still, I smiled, and Hange let go of me, stepping away only to push me towards him. "Go on, Captains," Hange said, smiling widely. "I've got things to catch up on. See ya!"

Now, we weren't quite alone in the hallway, for it was nearing the dinner hour and people were milling about. Even though we had just gotten back from the trip to the Underground City, I wasn't very hungry and because he wasn't at the mess hall, Levi clearly was not peckish, either. So when I reached Levi's side, he pushed away from the wall and I fell into step alongside him.

No words were uttered between us, and we walked at a professional distance away from each other. When we passed by other soldiers, we got quite a few polite hellos, and even a good evening, Captains.

It was strange, but definitely not unwanted. It granted a weird sense of purpose, but so too a desire to be the best leader I could... even if I didn't have subordinates of my own yet. Technically, all these soldiers were mine to train. When we decided on people for our squad, we would have to focus on them, but all these soldiers were our responsibility. To that end, I wanted to be the best leader I could.

Erwin picked us for a reason, right? I would make sure he picked correctly, and help all these soldiers be the best they could be.

As soon as we turned a corner and found that it was completely empty save for us, Levi took my hand. "You're tense," he noted right away.

"Hm? I hadn't noticed," I said, doing what I could to consciously relax my hand and body as we walked. "I think I'm still a bit on edge."

"From being down there?"

"Yeah," I answered, letting my gaze find the windows we walked by. It was dusk. "I said it when we first left, but I'll say it again. I never want to go back down there."

"Neither do I."

"How are you doing, Amaya?" With his question, Levi also stopped walking, and only because our hands were still connected did I stop as well.

I looked back at him, confusion expressed across all my features. "What do you mean?"

"That man knew your father. I know you better than to believe you're not still thinking about it, that it doesn't bother you."

Here, the shadow of one of the window frames obscured one eye of his in darkness, making his other eye pop beautifully in an alluring sort of way. But there was an incessant sort of tugging at my heart, and a shaky exhale passed through my lips.

"Yeah, it uh... I don't know."

Levi let go of my hand and leaned against the window frame, letting me know without a word that he wasn't going anywhere until I spoke, until I let it all out. When his arms crossed over his chest and he leveled me with an even gaze that spoke volumes on the level of bullshit he was not going to tolerate, I knew it was final.

I shifted slightly on my feet, wondering how to start. "I told you my father was a Military Policeman before, right?" He nodded. "I knew a few of his comrades and grew up with them almost as extended family members. After his death, it became muddier, and it was like the MP's - his brothers and sisters there - didn't care to find out what happened to him. Hearing that Jace knew him... Levi, it sounded like he knew what happened to him. He told me not to ask around, so I won't end up like him. But how..."

I huffed, cutting myself off and prying my eyes away from him.

"How are you supposed to not be curious about what happened to your father?" Levi asked rhetorically, saying what I did not. Without looking at him, I nodded, wondering how best to maneuver this.

"I don't want to lose my life," I said. "It's why I train so rigorously and fight like hell. I'm not dying to a Titan, just as I didn't let myself get killed by anyone Underground. I'm not allowing myself to die like that. But I want to know what happened to him. We figured out how Caden died and we avenged him. El... Goodness, he was the kindest man you'd ever meet, and for someone to kill him..."

"Someone like that, who would kill someone like your father, is someone who would not hesitate to kill you too, Amaya."

"I know. I'm not looking to get killed, I told you that. It's still hard to think that I could've found out today who did it, or what happened..." I shook my head. "I mean, I was there when El died and I didn't even think to ask him what happened. How could I? I just..."

I lowered my head into my hands, doing what I could to hide the true extent of my emotions from him. As such, it surprised me when I felt a set of hands grasp me by the shoulders and draw me in. Levi pulled me to his chest, and if I wasn't so comforted by the feeling of his arms around me so securely, I would've pulled away.

Instead, I dropped my head onto his shoulder and wound my arms around his neck. "It's been a hard few years," I said quietly to him. "Not just for me. I know you've had it hard, too. I can't help but feel bad, like all I do is break down around you nowadays."

"Tch," he muttered. "You think that it annoys me or something?"

"Maybe," I answered quietly. "Doesn't it?"

"No, you idiot," he replied. "The only thing that annoys me about it is how much you apologize about it."

That made me laugh, and some of the heaviness on my shoulders was alleviated. "Is that all?"

It was a prompt, one that he didn't miss. After a thoughtful sort of noise, he answered simply: "No. Getting your tears all over my shirt is annoying as shit, too."

I laughed once more; I couldn't help it. "You're such an asshole," I said. "You're lucky I love you."

An affectionate sort of chuckle escaped him. "Lucky, huh?"

"Yes," I pressed, reaching up with one hand to tug on a strand of his hair. "Your hair is getting longer, Levi. It'll be about time to cut it, I think."

"If you're about to ask to do it, don't even bother."

My smile turned sly. "I know, I know. You can do it yourself."

He drew away then, setting his hand against my shoulder to push me away slightly. When I was standing before him, our eyes met for just a moment. "Go," he said. "I'll head up with tea."

If I didn't know that he meant my office, I would have asked. And if I didn't know that this was his way of bowing out of a conversation, I would have pressed the issue. So, I looked pointedly one way, and then the other, checking to ensure the hallway was still empty. It was, so I leaned in, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"Thank you, love."

"Yeah, uh." He cleared his throat. "Whatever, brat."

I made to leave, but he grabbed my arm. "Levi?"

"I never knew my father," he said quietly, his eyes so intently focused on mine that I would have shied away if not for what he was telling me, if not for the vulnerability in his eyes. "And I was only a kid when my mother died, and I was in the room for days with her following it. I didn't understand what death was, or what killed her, or why she was dead. So I can understand..."

"Oh, Levi," I murmured, shaking my head with disbelief. To have been in the room, to have seen it, to have been stuck in that space for days... What else was a child to do, but internalize all of that grief?

"I don't need your pity. I'm only telling you this because... I trust you. And I understand what it's like to want to know." His free hand lifted up towards his neck, and he gestured to the cravat he routinely wore now. "I never showed you this, but this is all I had left of her. I took it from the room when I was taken away. It's a part of her dress. El's patch, this cravat... they're only items, but I know what it's like to want a piece of someone with you."

I smiled. "Thank you, Levi. I know how hard this must have been for you to say, but knowing this... Knowing that you've gone through it too makes me feel better. If ever you want to talk more, I'm always willing to listen."

He only nodded, as though embarrassed to admit one way or another if he wanted to. "Just... now you know. Don't make a big deal out of it."

"I won't," I assured him. Sensing that he wanted a moment alone after such a heavy thing to confess to another person, no matter who I was to him, I stepped away from him. "I'll see you in a few minutes, Levi."

—

Weeks Later:

I knocked on the door to Erwin's office and was not surprised to be called inside right away. He wasn't one to keep people waiting, especially if there was a meeting planned. And there was, I was just a bit early. Besides, I had a few documents that needed to be overlooked by him, so I may as well bring them early.

However, it seemed that I wasn't the only one who figured that being bored with Erwin was better than being bored elsewhere, and I was delighted to see Hange in here with him.

"Erwin, Hange," I said in greeting. "Enjoying your afternoon?"

"As best I can with Hange teasing me," Erwin said.

"Teasing again, Hange?" I asked with a smile, dropping down into the seat before Erwin's desk. Erwin had been standing by the window, overlooking something that Hange had brought in, more than likely. I made myself comfortable, crossing one leg over the other and leaning back against the worn leather. "Don't you ever let up?"

"It wasn't even that bad," Hange said with a pout. "Just my observations!"

"Observations regarding what?"

Erwin sighed, crossing the space to lean back against the front of his desk about a foot or so before me, crossing one big old leg over the other at the ankle. Hange looked up at him, having also been leaning back against the desk, and gestured with a movement of their head towards me.

"Having Amaya read it will be no more embarrassing than letting you," Erwin said. "So go ahead."

Well, now I was incredibly interested in reading what Hange was now holding towards me. I took it, and with only a quick skim, I realized exactly how this might have been embarrassing. It was a small pile of faded, clearly old pieces of parchment absolutely covered in writing, littered in addendums and corrections, all written in Erwin's usual, loopy script yet seeming... less defined, more juvenile.

In short, it was a series of letters.

Love letters, to be exact.

The language was so exaggerated and so flowery, I had a hard time believing this had come from Erwin, but then again, it made sense. He who could inspire us to fight for him after wanting to kill him... one had to be good with words to do that.

"My most cherished Marie," I read aloud. "Though it has been weeks since last I saw you, it is not as though I am without reminders of your beauty; every sunrise, every sunset, and the moon in all its brilliant phases bring to mind fragments of your beauty, but I will be without the full picture until I can see you again."

"That's a good one," Hange commented, a warm smile on her face.

"It's so romantic," I noted. "Erwin, you wrote this?"

"When I was younger," he told me. "Training corps."

"And this Marie," I said slowly, a smile reaching my lips, "she must have fallen head over heels for you, no?"

"Not me," he answered, shaking his head and all signs of a smile fled from my face, leaving behind only shock. "Another man."

"No way," I said, only just able to conceal my gasp. "You're not serious."

"I am," he said with a nod. "She fell for another man, one Nile Dawk."

"Dawk," I repeated. "I know that name. Isn't he the commander of the Military Police? He's new."

"That's right," Erwin told me. "Sworn in for his position just before I was for my own."

"Did you ever give these to her? Does she know?"

"She read them," he said, "but she does not know I wrote them."

"Oh," I said, deflating a little. "You wrote them for him? But surely she knows that he didn't write it?"

"I'm sure he cleared it up," Erwin said, smiling now. "He's not the most eloquent with his words, so it would've become clear as soon as we parted ways."

"I see," I said.

"I did feel something for her, once upon a time," Erwin cleared up. "But I always knew I would join the scouts."

"Still," I said softly, "love is worth it, Erwin. No matter the risk."

"A lifetime pining for a soldier dead in a Titan's stomach, or a comfortable life in the interior with the love of her life," Erwin mused. "It made sense to me."

I handed the letters back, having read enough. "You're alive now, aren't you?"

"I am."

"So you're still capable of love."

"Ooh," Hange piped up. "How's it feel to be on the receiving end of a lecture, Commander?"

Erwin smiled indulgently, looking at me evenly. "I know she means well, so it's quite alright." And then he took the bundle of documents from Hange, setting it once more on the desk. "Still, must you two always be so early for meetings?"

"Well," I said, "I have a few things I wanted you to read over, so... yes."

Shaking his head with something that must have been disbelief - though his eyes held within them so much affection - he took the paperwork from me. Hange and I talked quietly as Erwin read over what I asked him to, and every so often, Erwin would pipe up with a comment of his own.

It didn't take long for the other higher-ups to arrive. Levi, Mike, Rashad, Laura... When at last we were all crowded into the office, the meeting began. It was all very simple stuff; the nature of our expeditions was changing.

We were, of course, to purge the Titans within Wall Maria as best we could, pushing ever farther into territory that was once ours. Our secondary - yet very important - objective was to collect any evidence possible on the Titans that attacked Wall Maria, and if the sons of bitches were stupid enough to show themselves around us, we were to focus our efforts on killing them.

It was all standard stuff, really. Still, meetings were meetings, and we had to sit through them. Such was part of the duty of being a captain, of course.

I just couldn't wait to get back out there and prove myself, to fight and pave the way for the rest of the soldiers to follow. We were, of course, the regiment most accurately described as humanity's blade; offensive, quick, deadly. We were what pierced into the Titans, what were used to fight.

Or perhaps... the beak or talons of the bird that was humanity. That had a pleasant ring to it, didn't it? I thought so, anyway.

At the very least, it gave me something to think about during this meeting.

—

Months Later:

With the return of winter, we had a dry spell of expeditions, so to speak. The winter was brutal, and because of this, Erwin opted to not force us out until the heaviest blizzards of the season blew away, which honestly... I agreed.

The recruits from this spring were worn out, understandably so, because we'd gone on several long, grueling expeditions out into Wall Maria. We lost a few, but the fair weather had allowed for great visibility and we were able to, as a unit, take care of a large quantity of Titans, most of which were killed by Levi and myself.

Alongside us, quite a few chosen elites started to pop up: we'd already known Mike was a skilled soldier, but the most expeditions we went on, the more a few soldiers of each bunch stood out: either as a leader, as a comrade, as a fighter, or any combination of the three. It was wonderful.

And though we still thought it too soon to deem any of these soldiers as worthy of the Special Operations Squad, there were a few we were considering and thereby keeping a watchful eye on.

Still, even without expeditions, we had lots to do. Keeping accounts of funds, detailing training for the recruits, recommendations to the commander for new equipment, regimes, training exercises.

There was also, of course, physical training which kept us busy. All manners of muscle building and toning, stretching and ways to keep us limber, and group exercises which included small brackets of hand-to-hand combat tournaments.

I found myself often in the training room even long after I'd completed my own work, helping the recruits on their technique, on their form, on their strength. I would spar with them, using techniques I knew would trip them up; I would do drills right alongside them, as motivation and encouragement; I would give them pointers when necessary, working longer hours than necessary and until I was heaving, chest slick with sweat and impossibly worn-out yet so incredibly, contradictory fulfilled.

I had only just finished up for the day at long last, my jacket unzipped to allow the brisk air of a chilled base in winter to cool my skin. As was usual for training, I wore pants that allowed free movement (they were sweatpants, but Erwin frowned upon such a thing), and a sports bra. Having now unzipped my jacket, I realized I didn't quite look the part of a trained soldier, but that didn't matter. Practicality always won, of course.

I slowed to a stop by a window that was open just a crack here on the third floor. I set my free hand on my hip and sipped water from my canteen with the other, relishing in the cool air for just a moment.

That was when I heard a set of footsteps that wasn't my own coming from behind me, and I looked over my shoulder as soon as I lowered the canteen from my lips. "Erwin," I greeted casually.

"Good evening, Amaya," he responded, coming to a stop next to me. "Done with training for the day?"

"Mm-hm," I answered, closing my eyes with relief as a breeze rolled through the hallway.

"While I appreciate your dedication and vigor," he said, "you need not overwork yourself."

"I know," I said, opening my eyes. "I want to. Not overwork, I mean. But I want to help the soldiers here thrive, so..."

"I see," he said. "How admirable. At any rate, you're just the person I was looking for."

"What for?"

"Come with me," he said, and I fell into step alongside him as he led the way to his office. As soon as we were inside, he kept going, rounding his desk to reach a stack of documents set in the center. He opened it and I approached the desk, standing in front of it until he waved at me to join him.

He handed me a single piece of paper, and upon skimming it, my eyebrows knit with confusion. "What's this?"

"Upon reviewing the files of my higher-ups and adding my evaluations to them," he said rather conspiratorially, and I was unsure whether it was at the prospect of these evaluations or something else entirely, "I found a missing piece of information that was rather... troubling."

I leaned away from him, growing nervous. "Yes, I've murdered people. What of it?"

"Not that," Erwin said, finding it in him to chuckle, which embarrassed me entirely. My cheeks flushed right away with pink, and I bit my tongue to keep from stringing together a load of expletives to send his way. "I know of your crimes already. If it fazed me, I wouldn't be alone in my office with you."

"Fair enough," I mumbled. "Get to the point, then. I was completely honest upon inputting my information, so what of my past is so strange to you?"

"Not yours," Erwin said. "Levi's."

Well, this was interesting.

"What about him?"

"His lack of a birthdate stood out in particular to me. I figured that either he did not care to list it, or he does not know it. I thought that you might have some insight on that, considering how close you are."

"We talked about it once," I said. "It never really mattered to him, and he never knew it. He never wanted us to celebrate. It always made me feel bad, but you know how he is."

"I do," he confirmed. "Hm."

I smiled. "You want to give him one, don't you?"

"Just as much as you do, I'm sure."

"He does deserve something like that, doesn't he? A day just for him... I'd love to do something like this for him."

"I only worry about his reaction," Erwin said, standing up straight.

I shook my head, my smile growing. "I wouldn't be. If we come up with it... he'll appreciate it, I'm sure."

"You know him best, after all," Erwin said, smiling back. "Alright, Amaya. What are you thinking?"

"He seems to like winter," I said, considering it. "It's quiet and cold, and this didn't come from me, but he loves sitting by a window, watching the snow fall, and drinking tea."

Erwin looked away, thinking it over. "Then... how about the 25th of December?"

"Why that day?"

"You were here last year for the winter holiday," he reminded me. "Most of the soldiers go home during that time. It's the quietest time around here."

"Oh," I said, downright beaming now. "That's perfect!"

"I'll mark it down, then," Erwin spoke proudly. "Any idea how old he is, exactly?"

"Goodness," I said, thinking about it for a moment. "Hm... I'm 28, and way back when, he told me his age once and he was older than me by one, so supposing this "birthday" of his hasn't passed, then he's 28 as well."

"Perfect," he replied, writing it down with the supposed year of birth. "Thank you for your help, Amaya. Can I count on you to keep this a secret from the rest of the soldiers, but most importantly, Levi and Hange?"

I chuckled. "Of course, Commander."

I left the office after a few more minutes of small talk, and when at last I did leave and start for my own office, my heart was fluttering with anticipation for Levi's birthday. It suited him well, and I was so excited for him to wake up and find a whole day dedicated to celebrating his life.

And when I stepped into my office with the intent of getting cleaned up and relaxing until dinner, I was surprised - for some reason - by the presence of Levi at my desk. Standing now like a deer caught by a hunter, I realized I must have looked quite suspicious to react in such a way, so I relaxed before he could see it.

I closed the door behind me, and crossed the space, passing the desk on my way to my bedroom. Levi, who had been reading over a document likely with the purpose of signing off on it, looked up as I did. "Finally done?"

"That's right," I said, pausing in the doorway and turning to face him with a smile. "Did you miss me?" He nearly didn't reply when his eyes caught sight of my bare midriff, my chest. I didn't have it in me to be embarrassed; rather, with the way he blushed so readily, I found it quite cute. "Levi? Are you alright, love?"

"Hardly," he answered, then began to stammer. "In... In response to your flirt- er, first question. Not that one. I'm fine."

"Clearly," I said, doing what I could to suppress the smirk that threatened to break out across my lips. "I'll go get cleaned up while you... cool down. The hallway is nice and cool right now, if you like."

Without waiting for a reply, I went into my bedroom and shut the door behind me. Only then did I allow myself to smile.

How someone who could kill with such ease could also be so cute... goodness, what a man.

—

24th, December:

Like every other night, it became ever increasingly obvious that Levi was not planning on coming to bed. It's just how he was. Of course, if anything, he would take a power nap in his chair, and that was all.

We were all, due to the holiday and most of the soldiers being home with their families, not required to do our usual daily training, though it was advised to stay in good physical shape and not eat too much of the usual holiday roast. Without anywhere else to go, Levi and I stayed here, as did Erwin. I didn't know his personal situation, but I suppose it made sense for him to stay.

With how small our forces were for now... we three were the only ones here. While we kept up with our daily training, that occupied only some of our time. I was grateful for the break, I was, but it was rather lonely here. Well, that wasn't entirely true. Erwin's company was certainly welcome, and besides... I had Levi.

Just not physically, and at this exact moment.

I slipped out from under the covers, and nearly shivered right away for the sudden chill that overtook my body. On any other night, I wouldn't have been tempted to argue with him, because he was particularly stubborn on that front, and I'd grow all the more tired going back and forth with him about it. Honestly, it would help me sleep.

But not tonight.

I'd left the bedroom door open, maybe for no other reason than to just... invite him inside or something I suppose. On silent feet I walked through the room, pausing when I reached the doorframe. I leaned against it, doing what I could to not outwardly appear to be as cold as I really was. Levi was reading, still seated at the desk with a cup of tea, now cold, just before him. If he noticed me enter the room, he didn't say as much, nor did he react in any discernible way.

"Levi," I called gently, getting his attention. "It's getting late, love."

"I know," he replied. "You should be asleep."

"So should you."

"I will," he said in a practiced sort of way. He was used to telling me this, in trying to assure me that he would come to bed, only for each night to... be like every other night. "Go back to bed, Amaya. I'll be in soon."

"I've heard that one before," I said. I sighed through my nose as I pushed away from the frame. I crossed through the space and reached the desk, walking around it to drop down into my chair, I tucked my feet up, trying to ignore the feel of the cold leather seeping through my thin nightclothes. "Don't think I don't know that you never come to bed."

He didn't reply, but I could tell that he had stopped reading by the way his eyes shifted just enough to see me out of his periphery. I had his attention. Good.

"I won't ask why right now," I said gently, wrapping my arms around my knees to try to hold onto some of my warmth. "Though I'm certain I can guess why. But I think that tonight, you should really try to get some sleep."

"Is there an expedition tomorrow that I don't know about?"

"Nothing like that," I said, "but if you believing that will get you to come to bed, then be my guest."

"Why are you so insistent? I'm fine."

"Maybe I miss you while I sleep," I said, smiling a little. "Or I just miss sleeping beside you like we used to."

He set his book down, and I thought that maybe I was making some real progress, but he reached for his teacup instead. What surprised me was the fact he held it towards me. I took it into my hands, and despite knowing already that it had been cold, I didn't relish in the cold porcelain sending chills through my palms and down my arms.

"Thank you," I said after taking a short sip. He took it back and set it on the desk and... he stood. "Levi?"

"Come on, stupid," he said quietly. "You're freezing."

He helped me to my feet and I didn't let go of his hand even once I was standing; instead, I laced my fingers with his and led him through the room and into the bedroom. I had to fight to keep the smile from my face, and I only let go of Levi's hand to climb into bed. Except... he tossed me to the other side of the mattress.

With a startled squeak I bounced until at last I settled atop the blanket, and I looked at him incredulously, only to find that he was getting in where I had just been laying. "What the hell was that?"

"You're not supposed to sleep closer to the door," he muttered, not daring to meet my eyes even as he got under the blankets. "I thought you knew that, you damn woman."

"But I always sleep there," I tried.

"Not anymore."

"I suppose there's no way for you to enforce that unless you come to bed every night," I said, smiling now. I got under the covers, finding very quickly that I had no need to slide closer to him because he was there at my side right away.

"You're almost shivering, Amaya," he said in place of dignifying my words with an answer, but I found that I didn't mind too much, not with the way that he took me into his arms and began to run one soothing hand up and down the length of my back. I smiled and ducked my head beneath his chin, winding my arms around him.

It'd been a while since we'd slept together. I wouldn't lie; I had missed this. So for now, while I had him in my arms.... I would enjoy it. I tilted my head back and pressed a kiss to his jaw. "Goodnight, my love," I murmured, my eyes already fluttering closed as my exhaustion caught up with me. "Sleep well."

And in the morning, when I led Levi rather begrudgingly downstairs and he saw the work Erwin had put into decorating, the cake I made, and the meal Erwin and I put together for the three of us...

Needless to say, it surprised him quite a bit, but it was so incredibly worth it to see him, even for just a moment, smile lightly - after telling us how stupid we were for putting so much effort in and for him.

He liked it, really. There was no doubt in my mind. He just has a cute way of showing it.

All in all, for what was his first birthday in a long time... I think Erwin and I did a good job.

Time was passing quickly, that was for sure. And yet... not too quickly. No, even as time and memories as they were made flew by, I managed to keep hold of it all, locking it all away in my mind.

I was used to time moving quickly, I was. But I wasn't going to waste a single moment, for in a regiment like this, in times like these... more than just time and memories might slip through my fingers. Anything that wasn't secure would escape my grasp and I wasn't interested in losing anyone else. I wasn't.

If I could help it... I wouldn't let anyone else go.