Something I far, and I mean far underestimated was how cold winter truly was, and how terribly cold it could get.

Underground, it was always muggy, always disgusting. Sure, it got chilly sometimes, especially if you lived or worked by the vents or the stairwells, but for the most part, the only indication of what the weather really was - and what season it was - up on the surface was if someone ventured to the big hole in the ground that Levi and I tended to frequent and gazed upwards. Of course, there was also the possibility of someone heading upstairs to check, but that would get them killed unless they paid, which no one could comfortably do. So.

This winter in particular, our first on the surface, should have been joyful. It should have come gradually, lightly, beautifully, allowing Levi and I to enjoy the changes as they came and get used to all that winter was and all it could be. But the reality was that it swept in quickly and without warning. A storm blew in from the north, passing most of autumn by and bringing us straight to winter. And god damn, it was cold.

We'd been preparing and living for autumn, not winter, and it caught us all off-guard. The base, made of stone as it was, allowed a bitter air to penetrate its foundation and creep along every hallway and sneak into every room. Food got dryer and more bland by the day, training got harder, and it was difficult to completely remove the chill from my bones no matter how hard I tried.

The barracks were cold, the indoor training rooms were cold, the mess hall was cold, the outside was cold. Fuck, it was all cold.

To distract myself from the chill, I occupied my time by giving all I had to my training and to this regiment. When I told Erwin I was dedicating myself to this, I meant it. And so I did anything and everything necessary for me to do, and anything and everything that I could do in addition to my normal duties.

Since the last expedition - the one that stole the lives of Farlan and Isabel - it had been a few months, and until now, we had not yet been on another one, and I think that a lot of it had to do with the weather. This was fine and all, and I was content to train hard in preparation for a busy springtime of expedition-going, but Erwin the madman had somehow convinced Commander Shadis to plan one for a few weeks from now.

It was to be a long winter. Hopefully the lack of sunlight, with the heavy, dark clouds hanging in the sky for weeks now, would keep Titans from being too active. That was Erwin's thought anyway, and I figured it would make a lot of sense. There were Titans past the northernmost districts, but they rarely found the energy to swipe at the wall. They sat still, dormant, collecting snow that was disrupted only by the wind.

Hopefully, with the length of this winter and how unbearably cold it had been, the same would ring true for the Titans to the south, and we would be able to brave the storm and establish several checkpoints for future expeditions. It would be slow going, it would, but orders were orders and if going now would make it safer in the future, it was worth it.

This moment, after a long day of training in the snow, was the first in which I'd been able to find time for myself. I'd gotten cleaned up and now we were just waiting for the dinner bells to ring so we could head down to eat.

Oh, and by we, of course I meant that my company was Levi, as it usually was.

Truthfully, we didn't spend too much time away from each other. We trained together, we took our meals together, and we spent our evenings together. We spent most nights together too, (though usually I would fall asleep partway through), and it was actually rare for me to willingly spend the night in the barracks.

It wasn't that I didn't like the other soldiers, and I'm sure that even Levi was learning to gradually tolerate them, but after so much loss, I found his company most comforting. And Levi, well... he wasn't exactly a people person, now was he?

It was adorable, actually. Lots of soldiers came to us for advice. After seeing us fight and watching us train, they wanted to learn from us. I didn't give all my secrets away, but I helped where I could. Levi, on the other hand... did not. He did no such thing.

"I had to learn it on my own," he'd mutter to me whenever the so-called nuisances got his not-so-subtle hint and left him and I alone. "Why the hell would I just tell them how to do it?" And each time, I'd smile and usher him away so we could keep training, and so the other soldiers could keep watching. 

Other than the usual training and daily duties, I helped Hange when I could, and in this way I grew closer not only to them, but to Moblit as well.

And then there was Mike. He, strangely enough, had approached Levi and me only a few short weeks after that first expedition. He had, in the most formal, polite way possible, apologized for his behavior. He mentioned that orders were orders, and he was one of Erwin's subordinates and so protecting him and following his orders was something he had to do.

I had forgiven him right away; there was no bad blood between him and I. I even apologized to him for taunting him in the underground city.

...and then he'd sniffed me. And... smiled?!

Levi had tugged me back by the shirt to put some space between me and Mike, but I was far too confused to say or do anything else, and so that was that.

Erwin, for his part, had taken to catching Levi and I up, so to speak, on what we needed to know. He'd bring us into his office and sit us down and go through military tactics, rules, regulations, and everything in-between. It wasn't like an obligation for him, he seemed like he genuinely wanted to help us.

Honestly, he wasn't so bad.

He'd told me just a few days ago, as we walked through the halls together one evening after dinner, of his grand ambition. He'd told me about what he had learned - and more so, what he hadn't - in his years at school. About what his father had taught him. Of what had happened to him. Of his motivations and ideals, his inspirations and his goals. Of his hope to someday learn what Titans were, where they came from, how they were made, why they attacked us... everything.

He was a masterful tactician, but an incredibly earnest man as well. A conman, but at the same time, incredibly honest. A man I once wasn't sure if I trusted... but one I was sure I did, now. And it was his heart, I think. His mind was impressive, as was his way with words. He could fool a blind man into believing he had his sight again, I was sure.

But even so...

Even if his words weren't always honest... His heart was, and it bled into his eyes, and through them, I could see all that I needed to. I knew it was wrong to have wanted to kill Erwin Smith. Even among the Scouts, there was hardly anyone as determined and idealistic as he was. But he was realistic, too. He was a very interesting man, to be sure.

Oh, but back to where I was and who I was with, during this precious moment of reprieve...

"Levi," I said, at long last breaking the silence we shared. In this precious time before dinner, everyone in the base was seemingly waiting with bated breath, just anticipating the ringing of the bells signifying that the meal was ready.

We were in the base's library. It was completely empty, save for us, and the rows and rows of bookshelves kept us hidden away even if there were others in here with us. It wasn't a large room, but it had these beautiful floor to ceiling windows that let all the light from the setting sun pour in. Each window had a seat below it, and Levi and I were sitting across from each other in one of them, leaning back against the panes opposite each other.

"Hm?"

His eyes had been trained downward on a book, and when I spoke, he did not bother looking up, probably because he thought I'd have nonsensical words that meant nothing to say. I had been reading too, an old tied bundle of documents detailing past expeditions that Erwin had recommended I read to learn a bit more on certain military strategies, but I'd gotten bored of it and took instead to looking out the window, at the golden light shimmering across the snow.

"I think this will be good for us," I finally continued.

"What do you mean?"

"Being here," I elaborated. "The Survey Corps, I mean. We've always been good at fighting, haven't we?"

"Not by choice," he mentioned.

"Not by choice," I repeated in agreement, "I know that. But it works out, doesn't it? Instead of rotting away underground, we get to go beyond the walls. Instead of committing more crimes, we get to go out and do something good."

"Oh? Mugging people wasn't something good?"

"Oh, hush," I said through a laugh. "You know what I mean. But we get a salary, too, you know."

"A very small one."

"If we're not going to be allowed to go back to get the money we worked hard to earn and save, the least they can do is pay us something."

That got an amused sort of smirk out of him. "Whatever you say."

"Speaking of," I mused, "suppose we grow old enough and save enough to retire from the military. Basically, when we're old and can't fight anymore, what do you want to do?"

"You ask as though you've got an idea of your own."

"I think I do," I said. "I'd still like to see what's beyond the walls. So however far the military takes us, I want to leave. I've had enough of being... confined. A cave, some walls, it's all the same to me. I don't want to be stuck like that anymore. So I think I'd like to find a quiet spot out there, you know? But whatever I do... even if that doesn't pan out... I think that I'll be happy wherever I end up... so long as I'm still around to bother you."

His eyes found mine, finally. He seemed to consider my words, then let his eyes drift away, eventually landing on the landscape outside. When he spoke, I nearly missed it because his words were so quiet, but I heard them. "I'd like to open up a tea shop," he admitted quietly.

"So you'll have gone from being a thief, to a soldier, to a shopkeeper," I mused, smiling now. "So versatile, Levi."

He clicked his tongue. "I didn't tell you so you could make fun of it."

"I'm not," I assured him. "I'm not, don't worry. To tell you the truth, I think it's a beautiful thing to work for. I can certainly imagine you owning a tea shop."

"Don't say embarrassing shit," he muttered, keeping his gaze pointedly away from me.

"What did I say? That it's beautiful? Is that embarrassing for you? It's the truth, Levi. It's a wonderful dream to have."

"If it happens, that is," he said. I was shocked momentarily by the weight of this uncertainty, by the sudden vulnerability he showed. But I let my smile grow, and when in his periphery he noticed, he glanced over at me. "What the hell are you smiling for?"

"It will," I said quietly, not specifying what I meant. He knew that I meant the dream. I believed it would happen. Because it would, I would make sure of it. This man had gone through so much... didn't he deserve some happiness? Especially if we spent a while here with the Scouts. We all deserved to have some good in our lies, didn't we? And especially him, the man I...

Huh. The man I love.

I looked away, suddenly embarrassed. It was a simple truth, one that had not changed. I still did love him, I did. But goodness, now that we were on the surface, I told him I'd love him freely and now I was just too damned nervous to go about doing it. Goodness.

"What's with that face now?"

"Nothing, Levi," I said, shaking my head and trying to remove all thoughts of my feelings from my mind. I'd think about it and be embarrassed later. But not now, while he's right here to see it.

I was saved when the chimes from the mess hall rang out, echoing down the halls and filling the library with its lovely notes. I let out a relieved sort of breath and smiled widely. Without even thinking - going very much against the part of me that did not want to be embarrassed - I took his hand in mine and pulled him to stand.

"Calm down," he hissed, letting me pull him to his feet. He hardly had a chance to put the book he was reading down on a nearby table as I dragged him by it on the way to the door. I only laughed, glancing back at him with a playful smile.

I'd address my feelings later. For now... it was time for dinner.

It was hard not to turn and expect to see Farlan, and Isabel, and feel their comforting presence all around us. After getting so used to having them around, to suddenly be without them felt so wrong, and it was. I should have been able to save them. That thought plagued me every single night, whether I tried to sleep or not, and I didn't think it would leave me so soon, nor ever at all - it was what I deserved.

As I led the way to the mess hall, I was more surprised than I should have been when at each corner we turned, Farlan and Isabel weren't there. It was like this every single day. Some days were worse than others, and it was these worse days that seemed more prevalent than the days when I would start to come to terms with it all.

This grief, the grief of losing Farlan and Isabel, it was still fresh, not unlike a fresh wound - blood more startlingly scarlet as one could ever dream up continued to well up, and far faster than could ever be staunched. It was awful, and yet, it was life.

It was life, and I should have come to terms with it, but it was hard. It would always be hard.

It was like this when I lost Caden, my dear brother, not by blood but it might as well have been; it was like this when I lost El, the father who cared for me so kindly until the very end of his life; and now...

It still hurt. It would for a while. There was no telling how much longer it would be before it wouldn't hurt, and hell, it might take until the end of my life for it to stop hurting.

But for now, it was time for dinner. I only needed to focus on that. The rest could come later.

—

Weeks Later:

"Amaya Ikeda," said Survey Corps Commander Keith Shadis. My name sounded foreign coming from his lips and part of it was due, I was sure, to the authoritative tone he used and the fact that this was the first conversation that we'd had.

I'd been summoned here by one of Shadis' lieutenants, his second in command when Erwin wasn't around. Truth was, Erwin was around, but Erwin had been hard at work in his office. Rumors tended to spread around here, and as far as I could tell, Erwin was likely to be the next commander of the regiment.

What with Shadis' poor track record, the fact that the soldiers under Erwin's command tended to survive expeditions whereas those under Shadis never made it back alive... I'm sure there was more to do with it than that, but I didn't know the specifics. Besides, rumors were rumors.

Back to why I was here... I had absolutely no idea. I hadn't been told anything, only that I had been summoned, and I had only just gotten here. One knock was all it took for him to invite me into his office, and now that I was here... I wanted out. I did.

The man's coppery gaze was cold, unmoving, unchanging. I couldn't get a good read on him.

"I believe this is our first instance speaking to each other individually," he said.

"I believe so, sir," I agreed. "Did you need something from me?"

One of his eyebrows arched upwards. "Not one to wait to speak until spoken to, are you?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but decided against it, only to decide against that. "Did I say anything disrespectful?"

"No, you didn't," he told me. "But your lack of conduct is clear."

A bit self-consciously, I straightened up a bit, rolling my shoulders further back. I was standing in a practiced position Flagon had taught me to adopt when being addressed by a superior officer. Sure, I didn't know how to speak to them, but was it really that important?

"Erwin told me your wings were born of necessity, yours and Levi's both. Lack of conduct aside, your skill is clear and I've noticed your attempts to grow closer to your comrades."

When there was a lull, I realized he was waiting for me to speak. Oh, so now was a good time?

"I've been doing what I can to earn the trust of my comrades and get to know them," I said.

"Your efforts in working with them, in helping your comrades, and maintaining your own training have not gone unnoticed," Shadis said. "But I find that you and your... friends did not do very well when given orders."

"It just wasn't something we were used to, sir," I mentioned as respectfully as I could.

"And that may just work to your advantage," he said before clearing his throat and I straightened up again, my interest piqued. Whatever he was about to say, it was clear that it would be important. "Effective immediately, you are joining the Survey Corps Vanguard."

My eyes widened and for a moment, I was unable to speak. "The Vanguard, sir?"

"Our unit of elites," he clarified. "Assuming we use the long-distance formation Erwin is developing, they ride ahead of the commanding unit and scout for Titans, taking care of any that get too close."

Well, holy fuck.

"Thank you, sir," I said earnestly. "It's an honor. But... if I may, why me? I only killed one Titan. Surely Levi would be a better fit?"

"First thing you need to learn," Shadis said evenly, "is not to put your own worth behind that of another soldier. As it was reported, Ikeda, you stood courageously before a Titan even with an injury and you did not stop fighting. That kind of courage is hard to come by. Are you questioning my orders?"

"No, sir," I said, deciding against arguing further. "Who do I report to?"

"Technically, those in the Vanguard report only to me during expeditions," he explained. "But for matters of the day-to-day, you report to Moses."

Moses... ah, I remembered that name. He was one of the soldiers that had come after us in the Underground City. And he was the one I... uh oh. He was the one I covered in flour.

"In the Vanguard, those of that unit are of the same rank. You are trusted to be both dependent and independent of each other. Moses is at the training grounds now, expecting you. Get your gear on and go now."

Recognizing the words as a way to tell me it was time for me to leave, I put my feet together and threw a proud salute to my chest. "Sir, yes sir."

When he turned, so did I. I headed to the door, excusing myself silently and exiting the room to find myself in an empty hallway. Only when the door was closed behind me did I let my shoulder slump and all my held-in emotions rush out in a huff of air. "Wow."

"Wow, what?"

I nearly shrieked. I'd thought the hallway empty, but leaning against the wall in a way so inconspicuous that he nearly blended right into it, was Levi. "Levi," I said in greeting, smiling widely. Now that the meeting was over, I allowed myself to feel relief that I wasn't being let go or handed over to the MP's and I let myself relish the fact that I was being promoted, of all things. Me, promoted!

My first promotion! And after only one expedition! Goddesses, I was flying through these ranks. At this rate, I'll be commander by next year!

"Levi," I said again, hurrying to his side. "Did Shadis call you, too?"

"No," he answered, begrudgingly letting me loop his arm through mine after hearing his answer. "I didn't even know that's where you were. Not until shitty-glasses told me."

"Shitty-glasses?"

"Hange," he clarified as I started to pull him along with me. We walked down the hallway together, Levi only allowing the physical content because no one was around. Here on the third floor of the base, where only the leaders resided, it was fairly quiet, especially considering that at this hour, most of them were still bumbling around briefing their subordinates on whatever-have-you about the upcoming week of training. "They're obnoxious and their glasses look stupid."

"That's not nice," I mumbled as we turned a corner. "I happen to like Hange."

"So much so that you let them know where you were?"

I was, for a moment, rather taken aback by his words. "What do you mean? Where did you think I could go?"

"We're not exactly in the clear, yet," Levi told me while we started down a flight of steps. I loosened my hold on him, only enough to let my hand take his hand into mine. "Just because Smith is on our side, it doesn't mean the rest of them are. Not yet. I wouldn't put it past any of them to call the MP's here to have us hanged."

"Erwin assured us we have immunity," I reminded him. "We just need to behave for five years and not commit more crimes, and we can't buy property or anything like that until then, but I trust his word."

"I think you're too trusting."

"Maybe so," I said. "But I think they are starting to accept us."

"The hell are you on about?"

I stopped in my step now that we were on a landing, and I let go of him to stand before him proudly. "I just got promoted!"

"Promoted?"

"Mm-hm! Commander Shadis called me in to speak with him to tell me that I'm joining the Vanguard!"

"The... what the hell?"

"I advocated for you to join, too," I began to say, only for him to cut me off.

"You idiot, those are the soldiers that fight on the front lines!"

"I know that," I said, unsurely. Why was he so upset?

"We've been on one expedition and they're putting you in the Vanguard? That's meant for the elite soldiers, Amaya. They're trying to get you killed."

"Shadis sees my potential as a soldier," I countered. "He's been paying attention to how I've been doing in training, he wouldn't just toss me to the front lines if he thought I wasn't ready."

"How do you not see it? I knew we couldn't trust the rest of them. No better way to get rid of soldiers you don't like than by sending them headfirst into the jaws of Titans."

"Levi, I'm not going against what the commander said. I'm not. No matter what you say, I'm excited to do this and I'm proud of it... even if you aren't."

"Amaya," he began, reaching towards me, only for me to step away.

"Excuse me," I said, starting down the steps. "I've got to meet with Moses."

—

"Ikeda," Moses said as soon as I was close enough to hear him. His voice was well-trained, formal and stiff, without any warmth in it, but it was not unkind.

"Moses," I replied. "I got here as fast as I could."

"I haven't been waiting long, so relax," he said, waving my words off. "I'm sure Shadis briefed you on the structure of the Vanguard here, so you know not to be formal towards me."

"He did," I said, "but I still want to treat you - and all my comrades - with respect."

"It's appreciated," he said. "You've come a long way since we plucked you from that city, you know. I haven't seen a soldier progress so quickly. We haven't even reshuffled the Squads yet, and you've bypassed that with a promotion to the elites."

"I can't believe it, myself," I said, smiling now. "I was really surprised. I was half-expecting Shadis to let me go."

"He might be tough," Moses said, "but he values his soldiers and he pays close attention to them. You're no exception. Actually, you might be someone he pays special attention to, considering that you haven't received formal training."

"Maybe," I considered. "But I was expecting Levi to be brought in, as well."

"The Vanguard is not only for the strong," Moses explained, crossing his arms over his chest. "It's reliant on soldiers trusting each other. As of now, we're unsure of his ability to play nice with others. His military worth is undeniable, but you're hot on his heels."

"He's a good comrade where it matters," I told him. "He'll make that clearer with time."

"I understand your reasons for coming here were not of your own volition," he went on to say, "but you've made it clear that you want to stay. That's why you're here."

I nodded, my smile growing. "So, I assume that I'll eventually have to sit through meetings to teach me how it operates in the field?"

"Of course," Moses said, "but that will come over the next few days. For now," he said, grabbing one of his controller grips and turning. He looked over my shoulder and smiled. "We're going to see how you fly with us. We've got the others waiting in the forest, and a few unlucky recruits here as punishment ready with the dummy Titans. Lead the way, Ikeda."

I took my own controller grips into my hands, and my smile shifted into a grin. "Gladly. Let's see if you elites can keep up with me."

—

When I settled into a seat in the small lecture room meant for debriefs and the like, it was next to a blonde soldier I learned was named Nanaba. She was incredibly skilled, incredibly kind, and incredibly dedicated to this regiment and to her comrades. She was new to the Vanguard as well, and her first bout among them had been in the last expedition. She'd been on the left wing of the formation, which was her saving grace, for the Abnormal Titan that had taken the lives of my Squad - Farlan and Isabel included - had wiped the right side of the formation entirely.

As I had learned, it was because of this that adding new soldiers to the group was necessary, but Shadis and Erwin were not seeking to make it as big as it had been. Rather, they wanted to keep it to only the elite of the elite and allow the soldiers within it to work in well-trained pairs to maximize trust and safety. There was safety in numbers, yes, but it also created chaotic situations. Keeping groups smaller would (hopefully) make it easier for soldiers to work in tandem.

Right now, there are only seven of us here. I wondered for a moment who I might join when Moses made his way to the front of the room. "Alright," he said, an easy, relaxed tone to his voice. "As we further develop and practice the long-distance scouting formation, we'll be using it more during expeditions. It's important to know how we operate within it. As you know, we'll be trying out a strategy of utilizing duos to ensure everyone has a partner while maintaining that groups are small enough to maximize trust and communication, streamline training, and-"

He was cut off by the sound of the door opening, and through the door stepped the eighth member of the Vanguard, none other than...

"Levi," I said, surprised.

"You're late," Moses said, not missing a beat and not seeming surprised. Moses sent an even yet accusatory look his way. "When you ask - or downright demand - to be part of something, at least have the courtesy to be on time."

I watched, my mouth agape, as Levi ignored Moses' words and crossed the room. He sat down beside me and refused to meet my gaze.

"Right," Moses said with a sigh. "Anyway, as I was saying, our training over the next few weeks will center not just on how we work as pairs, but as a team. There may be scenarios in which we are sent out as a whole unit to scout ahead at a potential base, in which case..."

I did what I could to pay attention to the briefing. As I would find out later, Levi hadn't exactly needed to demand to be here, though it was cute of him to do so, just to be my side. The higher-ups had already been considering him for that eighth spot here, for a variety of reasons.

One, he was a damned strong fighter and soldier. His teamwork could be improved, certainly, which was another reason he was considered: I was here. Erwin had told Shadis of the trust we had in each other, and how that could be used to the regiment's advantage. And besides, for a final reason... What better placement for a soldier that didn't like to be bossed around than in a position where he could operate, for the most part, only with someone he trusted and worked well with?

It was incredibly endearing.

And as he would admit to me later, in a rather embarrassed way... he had been proud of me getting promoted. He only wanted to fight by my side so I wouldn't get into trouble again, so he claimed.

As if I would believe that.

Still, it was adorable, and it earned him a kiss to the cheek.

—

I clasped my cloak over my chest as I stepped into the stables. The entire base was abuzz with activity and excitement, and it was nearly palpable. If I had to, I could probably reach out and touch it. But instead, I got ready like every other soldier of this regiment.

We were leaving for an expedition today.

I adjusted my cloak over my shoulders when I reached the final stall, the one holding within it my buckskin horse, Strider. "Good morning," I said to him. "Early start, today."

These horses were hardy, and that was a damn good thing considering it was sure to snow the entire time we were out there beyond the walls. I began gathering Strider's tack, and wordlessly stepped into his stall to start the process. All too soon, he was ready, and I led him out by the reins only to find myself face to face with Levi.

"Good morning," I said to him. In the hustle of everything this morning, I hadn't gotten a chance to see him today. He had his horse by the reins as well, a brilliant black mare who snorted impatiently now that they were stopped.

Levi nodded to me, then allowed me to fall into step alongside him. We left the stables, but before he could even think of mounting his horse, I reached out and snagged his wrist in my hand. "Our first expedition in the Vanguard," I said uselessly.

Of course, he knew that. With all the meetings, strategy briefs, and training sessions that had only intensified over the past few weeks in preparation for today and the next few days, there was no way for him to have forgotten.

"Whatever happens today," I said slowly, "promise me that you'll stay safe."

"We've had this talk before," he muttered. "Something like that can't be promised, and you know that."

"They're only words to you," I reminded him just as I did each time we had this talk. "But they're more than that to me. Just say it, please."

He pulled his wrist from my hand and I let him go without a fight. Thinking he was going to leave me without an answer, I started to sigh only for the breath to catch in my throat. "You're an idiot," he said softly, looking around to make sure no one was watching before leaning in to press a light kiss to my cheek. "I promise if you do."

I smiled, a bit of my nerves easing away from my stomach, leaving me able to breathe easier. Even if he didn't mean the words, I could fool myself into believing it and perhaps that kiss worked to seal what words could not, just as my own kiss had done on our first expedition.

"I promise," I murmured as he drew away.

He cleared his throat, then asked, "This isn't going to be something you do for every single expedition, is it?"

"It might," I teased. "I need some way to keep you accountable, you know."

"Right," he mumbled, looking away. "Just stick by me today."

"Isn't that the point of working as a pair?" As we walked, I nudged his shoulder with my own, making him click his tongue irritably. "I don't know why, but I have a good feeling about today." That made him falter in his step and it was clear that he was surprised. "Not that I think I'm clairvoyant or anything," I went on to say. "But after having such a bad feeling about the last one... I think the fear is gone. The snow is an added challenge, sure, but... with you by my side, I'm confident we'll get through this."

He glanced at me, the shock expressed in his face clearly. "Really?"

"Really," I affirmed. "You are the strongest man I've ever met, you know." I was interrupted by a blustery gust of wind, one that brought with it an incredibly bitter chill that ran down my spine. Whatever I was going to say died in my throat as I shivered and ducked my head away from the wind, and before I knew it, Levi reached out and tugged my hoot to sit about my head.

"Don't discount your own strength," he said without looking at me, opting instead to put his own hood on. "But if things go wrong, don't be a hero. Fly as fast as you can away."

"I'm not abandoning you," I protested right away as we started to walk again. "Not for anything. No matter how scared I am. You could be facing fifty Titans and I'd still be there at your side."

He sighed. "You're the brattiest person I've ever met."

"I'm a brat for not wanting to leave your side? Well, that's not changing anytime soon, Levi. Best get used to it now." After one more smile towards him, I looked out, searching out the other members of the Vanguard. When I picked them out, we started towards them, and all too soon, the orders were given out to mount up and get into formation.

Through Wall Maria's territory we rode, and then, through Shiganshina. And at long last... We were faced once more with the outer gate. I sat up straight in my saddle, waiting to hear those words.

"Open the gate!"

Then, again: "Open the gate!"

Like a wave, excitement and tension rippled through the ranks. It reaches us quickly. As we were now, we were just behind the commanding unit with orders to spread out and get ahead as soon as we were out of the walls. But for now... I looked ahead towards Erwin, his tall stature accentuated by the proud white of his horse's coat, made him stand out.

We weren't using the long-distance formation today, but Shadis' original formation, which would worry me if it meant it changed my own plan, but it didn't. No, our orders were the same. Stay with our partner, support the rest of the Vanguard if needed, aid the rest of the regiment when necessary, and clear the way for the formation to progress.

Our target today was an old, abandoned base due south from Shiganshina district. If we could clear it of Titans, we could establish it as a base at which to stop and stock up on supplies. If we could enable runners to bring goods here, it could serve as a satellite base while we head out on expeditions. Instead of having to return to the walls, we could go there, instead.

Tactically, it was in a wonderful location. Set atop a hill, it offered a beautiful view of the grounds around it, supposedly. It was up to the Vanguard to get there first, so only time would tell if it was true or not.

"Today," Shadis shouted over the sound of the chains lifting the gate upwards, "we take another step forward! Show me what you learned in training! Show me the trust you have in your comrades! Teach them the power of the human race!"

The gate opened and was locked into place with a solid, booming thud accompanied by the rattling of chains.

"All troops... Advance!"

With a sharp tug to his horse's reins, Shadis' charge reared back with an echoing whinny that had all the horses perking up, shifting their weight, or pawing the cobblestone road below their feet impatiently. Below me, Strider snorted and I could feel his body tense in preparation to run.

As soon as we were able, I kicked into my horse's sides, and matched the pace of the unit before me. At my side, Levi did the same, his dark mare keeping stride perfectly.

Our second expedition... the first without Farlan and Isabel.

Our second time leaving the walls.

I was determined not to lose my own life, or come even close to it this time... and I'd be damned if I let anything happen to my comrades, not least of all being Levi.

The herd narrowed to fit through the gate, then spread out immediately. I could hear Shadis' voice cry out as soon as the commanding unit tightened up, allowing us to pass. Through the gate we rode, and Shadis' orders rang out clearly: "Vanguard, advance as planned!"

"Yes, sir," Moses called back, and following his voice came the responses from the rest of us. "Remember your training, and remember not to kick the bucket without giving the Titans hell!"

I shook my head with disbelief even as I smiled. Stupid and brave, all of them. Stupidly brave, even.

Of course, I thought that, and yet... I couldn't help but feel a surge of adrenaline and courage flow through my veins, too. This was not my first time going beyond the Walls. While still thrilling, it lost most of its shock value. I could hold onto it, now. I could take in the view while also remaining vigilant.

Perhaps I was stupidly brave now, too.

Well... it was hard not to be, when I had Levi at my side.

Before we were even a hundred paces beyond the gate, Levi and I had passed the commanding unit, our horses thundering ahead through the snow and veering away slightly from the rest of the Vanguard. In the last one, our Squad had been towards the back, in the right wing. But now, Levi and I were in the front, with the most elite soldiers this regiment had to offer.

How could I not feel even a bit of pride with that in mind?

The thundering of Strider's hooves in the snow below us kept the time as we raced ahead. As the distance increased between us and the main part of the regiment, I didn't have it in me to be nervous. I didn't even feel the chill creeping into my bones at riding so fast through such cold weather.

No, I was personally picked to be in this group. I was not about to prove that the decision had been a rash, undeserving one. I was going to prove my worth to this military.

To that end, I dared the Titans to come.

I had a bone to pick with them, anyway.

—

The clouds above our heads were thick and gray and dark, indicative of incoming precipitation. It was only a matter of when it would start, and how long it would last. I was sure we couldn't outrun it, not for long anyway, despite the head start we had on it. But maybe, just maybe, we could reach the base before it started.

Fighting would be difficult in the snow, especially if I was correct in my prediction that it would be the large flakes that piled up quickly. The snow here was only a few inches deep. It wasn't hard for the horses now to charge through it. But with worsening visibility and the possibility of the drifts growing taller...

We had to be careful.

At the very least, Titan activity has so far been at an all-time low, at least in my limited experience. We passed by quite a few, slumbering beasts half-buried in snow that were easily mistaken for boulders or large snow drifts carved by wind. But we could hear them breathing, and as we drew near their eyes would open.

It was hard to stick to our map, to our plan, with so few landmarks to take note of. Our best bet came from riding along a river, tracking its tributaries and following its curves as it cut through the land. It wasn't cold enough that it stopped flowing, and at places it was shallow enough for us to cross and thin enough to leap over. But soon, it curled away and headed west, meaning we could no longer use it.

Continue south. Those were our orders.

Continue south, and you couldn't miss the base.

So, we did just that.

We continued south.

Levi and I rode, for the most part, in silence. There was very little to be said, because we both knew how dangerous it could be out here, and as such, we knew how important it was to pay attention to our surroundings. We kept to flat planes of snow as best we could, so as to minimize the chance of running into a Titan lain dormant in the snow, but there was only so much that we could do while staying true to our course.

At some point, a dark, looming mass began to hang over the horizon, and as we drew closer, I realized it was a forest with thin trees. It wasn't thick, but it would allow for a bit of cover from the snow, at least for a while. Only... should we chance it? Titans might have - if they had any ounce of self-preservation within them - hunkered down in there, whether on purpose or accidentally.

"Levi," I called, loud enough to be heard over the sound of the horses. "That forest!"

"I see it," he replied.

"We should clear it," I said. "Mark it as a safe-point."

"A forest that small could easily be overrun," he mentioned.

"It can be a resting area, at the very least," I said. "Let the main forces rest while we clear the base."

He glanced over at me. He seemed to consider it for a moment, then for another. "Lead the way."

I nodded surely, knowing that it was his way of telling me that he trusted my judgment. Onward we charged, growing ever closer to the forest by the minute. And all too soon, we reached it. Sure enough, the snow here wasn't as deep, but it was also quite packed down against the dirt below it, indicative of frequent animal trailing and the far more dangerous option of Titan activity.

"Keep an eye out," I reminded him. "Who knows how many could be wandering around here?"

The canopy formed by the highest branches of the trees allowed only minimal sunlight to break through, thereby making it difficult to see and in turn, ensuring that any Titans here had the upper hand. I kept an attentive eye out for movement as I moved with the paces of my horse below me. Animals forged natural paths that arced through the woods and we followed them, Levi falling back to trail me as the trails thinned and gradually dipped lower and lower.

It was hard to believe it was midday right now, because these woods were terribly dark and whichever way we looked now, it seemed to be dusk. Only the sounds of the horses' hooves against the snow could be heard bouncing around the trees to all sides of us.

No, that wasn't true. There was something else...

"Titan," I called, just as I recognized the sound of one taking a breath and letting it out in a sound not unlike a bored groan. It wasn't bored long, and instead I heard the whoosh of air over my head as one suddenly reached towards me. I ducked closer to my horse, who whinnied in surprise and threatened to swerve off the trail and through the underbrush if not for my quick reaction. I guided him back to the trail and simultaneously looked over my shoulder. Levi had already leapt off his horse and switched to the gear, and I followed suit.

Planting my feet more firmly in the stirrups, I stood, lifting one foot to place against the saddle. I leapt up into the air from that foot, letting my two wires shoot off into adjacent trees to help me get some height. As I let the winches pull me in, I watched as Levi swung low, clearly not afraid of the Titan that easily stretched to a height of fifteen-meters.

With no time to speak or strategize, all it took was a look between us to tell me what to do. He swung around the Titan - expertly dodging another clumsy swipe, now aimed his way - and sliced through the flesh of its ankle, sending it to its knees with a thundering boom that shook the trees around us. Following his lead, I swung around behind it, taking advantage of its momentary stillness to slice through its nape cleanly.

I planted my feet on its back and rode it on its way down to the ground as it fell to its stomach, dead. Steam rushed from its wound and I slid down from the Titan's shoulder to finally hop down into the snow. A huff of relieved breath escaped me as I looked back over my shoulder at it.

"Good work," Levi told me. "But it nearly grabbed you from the start."

"There was nothing I could do about that," I said. "The damn thing was silent."

"Never said there was," he said, surprising me. "Let's just go slower."

"Alright," I said in agreement before bringing my fingers to my mouth to whistle. Levi did the same, and when our horses returned to us, we mounted back up and continued deeper into the forest.

As the trail led us lower in elevation, the longer the shadows grew and the more frequent the Titans became. After the first one came a single five-meter Titan, and not long after that we chanced upon another one that was nearly identical to it. When that one was killed, I landed back in Strider's saddle with ease and fell back into stride with Levi and his mare. I adjusted my grip on the blades to comfortably hold the reins, and glanced at Levi briefly.

"Their movements are slow," I noted. "Because of the cold, I'm sure. It's a good chance to see how they move."

"We won't get another chance like this for a while," he said. "Don't be reckless, but we'll learn what we can."

Just at that moment, when the trail finally started to even out, a pair of fifteen-meter Titans stepped out from a particularly thick grouping of trees. "Shit," I said aloud just as a curse escaped Levi's lips as well.

"Don't engage on your own," Levi told me. "We'll- Amaya!"

His words fell on deaf ears. I'd already leapt from Strider's back, getting the attention of both beasts. A wire on the far side of the closer one hooked to a tree allowed me to skate right by it. The big, ambling thing was slow, and when it turned, it bumped right into its cohort. Before I knew what I was doing, I hooked to the second Titan's shin as it stumbled slightly with the force of the first bumping into it, and with a quick burst of gas, flung myself upwards to a high enough elevation to hook to its shoulder.

The quick change in direction was near-dizzying but I narrowed my eyes and focused, accelerating right across its nape. My blades sliced through it as easily as a knife through warm butter, and as my momentum kept me going, I smiled and watched steam burst from it.

Levi was there then, taking my arm in his to drag me away from them both. It was jarring change but with a quick burst of gas, I managed to swing us around and - with another expertly placed wire - detach myself from him and zip right for the second Titan. Swinging around its shoulder with ease, I laughed jubilantly as I shot out one final wire to its other shoulder and, on my way by, cut through its nape.

I wondered what I looked like to Levi in that moment; suspended in the air, rivulets of Titan blood streaming from my blades, a wide smile on my face, my cloak billowing around me with the Wings of Freedom emblazoned proudly on my back and over my heart.

I locked eyes with him. Sharp blue eyes met mine and my smile only grew in that moment that felt trapped in time. The seconds stretched onwards and for a moment I felt weightless.

Our wings had been born of necessity and I had been asked to be at the front of the formation, to join the best of the best here. I had. Amaya.

I would pull my weight. I would make up for the last expedition. I would avenge those lives lost.

And... as surely as my heart beat within my chest, I would wear these wings - these wings of the vanguard, the catalyst for humanity's progression - proudly.