A Week Later:

Once more, Levi and I found ourselves in my room, sitting together on the bed and reading. When he said that he knew the lettering and basic words, he had meant it, and from that point it was an easy thing to help work him through more advanced words and reinforce what he already knew.

By the third evening of us working together like this, he was able to read on his own and we'd started to read the entirety of Caden's entries together. It was slow going at first, but now, on the seventh night of this becoming our new norm, we were nearing the end of it and soon we would have to go out and find new books to read together.

Before, our evenings were dedicated to relaxing, to speaking calmly by firelight after long days working. Now, we did the same, and Farlan would always join us for hours, but when he turned in for the night, Levi and I would stay up and head into my room. I had a sneaking suspicion that Farlan was unaware of Levi's past illiteracy, but if Levi insisted on not having these sessions in the main room or while he was around, there must have been a reason for that and that was all that I could come up with.

But I felt that if Farlan didn't know, it wasn't something that he would hold against Levi. It was normal down here for people not to know how to read. There was hardly a reason to. All people needed to know was how to take care of themselves and in a city where there wasn't even a formal school system, it was rare that people had someone in their life who could actually teach them. It would have to come from someone else, someone who lived on the surface. For me, it had been El. For Farlan, perhaps he had someone else in his life from his childhood. For Levi...

I knew nothing of his past, only that it had shaped him into who he was today: strong, tough, clever, intelligent, quick on his feet. Otherwise, I knew nothing. But no one had taught him to read, like so many others in this city. But... I was happy that he had allowed me to teach him. Me, of all people.

And actually, reading was not all that we did. After a bit of work, we would start talking, just... about anything. Really, it was more that I would speak and tell story after story while he would listen, but I didn't mind because he would really, truly listen. Occasionally, he would offer a comment or two or ask a question or chuckle of all things, and in this way we would just... I don't know, spend quality time together?

It was such a weird thing to think about but it happened so naturally and this habit was not one I wanted to break.

Even now, we were reading one of the last entries Caden wrote before his death.

Yesterday, he wrote, and I now read aloud, my finger tracing underneath the letters so Levi could follow along. Maya promised me that we would get to go upstairs one day. She said we'd get to see rain and snow and stuff, but I really want to see the stars. I've heard that they are really pretty. And there are like, a lot of them! More than anyone could ever count, that's what El told me once. But he also told me that I can count super high, so I think I can do it.

"The kid thought he could count all the stars?"

I laughed lightly. "Mm-hm. There can't possibly be that many, right?"

He didn't reply right away, at least not with anything other than a roll of his eyes. He picked up the reading, then.

I can't wait to go upstairs. Apparently the moon changes each night, and sometimes you can't see it at all! El told me and I just couldn't believe it, how could the moon get lost in the sky? The sun is always there, but the moon loses its way sometimes. It's weird. Maybe I'll be the one to find it, and I'll be the one to count all the stars, too!

"Ambitious kid," Levi commented.

"He was," I agreed. "I miss him."

"Maya," he said. "Your nickname?"

"Yeah," I said before laughing. "Sounds strange coming from someone other than him and El." He shifted slightly, and I took that to be a silent indication that he was suddenly upset or uncomfortable. "It's not a bad thing," I went on to say. "It's just been a while since anyone called me that."

He cleared his throat and continued to read and I lost myself in Caden's subtle storytelling. Unconsciously, I started to lean towards Levi, shifting ever closer, slowly and steadily until my shoulder was against his. He seemed to sit up a bit straighter, but that seemed to be the only reaction he had to my sudden proximity. Strangely enough, it was him moving that made me realize how close I'd gotten to him.

But I didn't dare move more. Neither did he.

Only when he finished reading that entry, and then went right into the next one but finished that one too, did a change come. "Is that all he wrote?"

"That's it," I answered. "It wasn't long after this entry that he... Well, you know."

"He really liked the stars."

"He did. We - my dad and I, I mean - we had his body buried on the surface so I hope that his soul gets to see them every night." I drew a deep breath in and let it out slowly, gathering myself. "I uh... I know it's late. But... Do you want to take a walk? I just want to walk for a while."

Wordlessly, he nodded, and with that we eased ourselves off the bed and to our feet. I set the journal atop the bedside table and when I turned, he was waiting for me by the door and only when I caught up to him did we leave the room and cross the house to reach the front door.

Into the muggy evening air we went. It was past the hour of twilight, but strangely, the city was still calm. Normally, I would be concerned. It was always calm before a storm, of course, but with Levi walking at my side, I wasn't worried.

It was strange. My own skills aside... Levi was here with me. His presence alone put me at ease and I was able to walk calmly, breathe easily, and let my mind wander.

Levi walked with his hands in his pockets, the very picture of nonchalance but I knew that he remained ever vigilant. I knew that the way he was looking around in a casual manner was actually a very calculated one, one that did not show that he was being as careful as he was. In this way, knowing that someone had my back as he did, I was able to relax, even just a bit. Obviously, there was no way I would let my guard down completely, that would be stupid.

But for now... we walked leisurely together, in a calm sort of quiet.

I used to hate the silence. Just after Caden's death, the silence that overtook our house unnerved El and I. When I lived on my own, it had been oppressive, closing in on me. To go from a vibrant, bustling household full of life and love, to a dull, empty, lonely apartment all on my own...

It had been hard. The silence had been awful.

But this silence, I... I found that I didn't mind it so much. This was a comforting sort, a peaceful sort, a... a wonderful sort of silence. I walked with my fingers linked together behind my back and I let my eyes drift upwards, up and up until they found the rocky ceiling.

Somewhere above all that rock, there was dirt. Somewhere above the dirt, there was grass, and there were roads, and there were buildings. Somewhere far above that was the sky, and dotted within it... a sun, a moon, and so many stars.

We were walking beneath a city, somehow. A city underneath a city. I wasn't sure how deep underground we were, nor how big the city above our heads was, but what I did know was that we were stuck here.

The sudden weight of another's gaze on me pulled me from my thoughts, gently, not at all intrusively like that of a stranger's. I recognized the sensation of Levi's eyes focusing on mine, from working so closely with him and also, of course, when we would read together. And... he would look at me, not the pages.

Huh.

That was interesting.

"Something on your mind?"

Well, yes. Of course there was. But how the hell was I supposed to tell him that I was thinking about him? And something so embarrassing? I couldn't, so I settled for a cheeky "maybe".

"So that's what that smell is," he teased.

I scoffed and whacked him on the arm lightly. "Rude. No, I was just... I wasn't really thinking of anything in particular."

"Then why do you look like you're about to shit yourself?"

"Goodness," I said with a laugh. "I smell like shit, I look like I'm about to shit, hell, maybe I really do have to go take a shit."

He, surprisingly, dignified my words with a chuckle, and a response. "Maybe."

I hummed thoughtfully, dropping the shit conversation... literally. We continued to walk, and the silence returned, but once more, it was a comforting, soothing sort of quiet. Down block after block we walked, crossing through neighborhoods and passing by sights new and old.

"I've spent my whole life here," I mused, letting my eyes drift across the street to look at a line of storefronts, old and dilapidated, yet new to me. "But there is still so much I haven't seen."

"Not that there's much to see," he said. "It's the same old shit there always is."

"Sure," I agreed. "But I just want to see things. You're right, there's not a lot to see down here. Not anything new, anyway. I haven't seen these buildings, but they're the same as any other building. I know that. Beyond this city... When I say I want to see things, I mean up there. On the surface."

"We have to get there first."

"I know," I said. "I know. I just..." I trailed off, shrugging a little. "It'll take so much work but I think it'll be worth it."

"You think," Levi prompted, "or you know?"

I smiled. "It will be worth it. I know it."

I turned my head to look at him directly, smiling widely. He met my gaze sidelong, cool blue eyes meeting mine. I slowed in my step a little, thinking for a moment. He followed my lead, stopping only half a pace after I did. He turned to look at me directly now, one thin eyebrow arching upwards as though to ask me what was

"Levi, do you...." I took a deep breath in, summoning my courage but for what, I had no idea. "Do you think we'll really ever be able to see a real night sky?"

"One day," he said. "Hopefully." Then, he paused. "You want to see the stars."

It wasn't a statement, it was a question he seemed hesitant to ask. "I do. What my family said about it aside... Just the idea of them fascinates me. They're just there, every single night. They're consistent, in a world that isn't." I sighed wistfully. "They must be gorgeous."

Levi was quiet for another moment, then seemed to make his mind up about something, because he gestured with his head for me to fall into step with him. I didn't, mostly because I was far too confused to. "Where...?"

"Come on." He stopped again, gesturing once more in a more obvious way. But still, I didn't move.

"What?"

"Just... come on."

"Why?"

"While we're already out," he said slowly, as though speaking to a child - and by the way, I refused to acknowledge the implications of those words. "I've got somewhere to take you."

"I get that," I said, "but where?"

"To see something you'll like."

"What is it?"

"You damn woman," he huffed. "Won't you let it be a surprise?"

Well, that made me laugh.

"I'd rather not," I said, and with a dramatic roll of his eyes, Levi reached out and grabbed my wrist.

He refused to look at me as he started to grab me along. I fell into step easily with him, looking pointedly at the hold he had on my wrist, and my mouth suddenly went dry and my heart suddenly started to thump, thump, thump in my chest. My brain, well, it wasn't working anymore. The gentle hold he had on me was all I could focus on and it was strange, because how could something so simple do so much?

And why the hell was my heart beating so quickly?

My heart, pounding so quickly for something like this... It couldn't mean anything, could it? It certainly didn't mean what assumption my brain immediately thought of in what few thoughts it could muster up right now. That was impossible. For one thing, I'd never felt anything like that for anyone before so why now, and for another...

I had nothing else. But still, it couldn't be that, could it?

Something strange happened, then. My heart took over, I suppose... or at least, that was the only explanation I could find for it, because why else would I have slid my wrist from his grasp and replaced it with my hand? It could only have been my heart because my brain would not have allowed that to happen. Not at all.

But as it was... I had done it. So now, instead of leading me by the wrist, we were walking together and though I didn't know where we were going, it was less that I was being led somewhere, and more that we were just walking together.

And it was nice. It was more than that, really, but... I wouldn't say that. Not aloud, anyway.

That would be embarrassing.

So, I stayed quiet. Both of us did, really. It wasn't strange for Levi to be quiet, but that was something I appreciated about him. Farlan and I, while not terribly loud, always seemed to manage to make some kind of noise while we were awake. But Levi could be putting his gear on for a quick job on his own, or cleaning the entire front room, but Farlan and I would never hear a peep. He did it all, and all without making a sound.

From hating the silence, to finding it comfortable...

It wasn't a change that I had anticipated making, even inadvertently and without warning. But I found myself glad for it, because it was a good change, for I found myself now in the silence so often, much more than before.

In this cave, things echoed, so it was a normal thing for a gun to be fired off on the other side and for everyone to hear it. People talking, a brawl breaking out, a group of drunken men stumbling down the street with a senseless song spilling from their lips. It was hard not to hear it, and as such it was almost never truly silent.

But there were instances of it. When staking out a building, when trailing someone, when waiting with bated breath for a signal that we were clear to strike, at night when we were all safe and warm in bed... It was always silent. Maybe if not truly silent, if we were focused on a job or were tucked away in bed, it was easy to let everything else become background noise, so much so that it was lost.

Sometimes, when it was so quiet that all I could hear were my own thoughts echoing in my mind and the subtle sound of my own breathing, I would return back to that dark apartment I occupied by myself with the sights and smells of death so heavy on my heart. So much loss all so soon, it was hard not to tuck myself away from the world, but I had somehow managed to pull myself together.

And my relationship with the silence had consequently shifted as a result of being here. When I heard it, or rather, when I heard nothing, it felt less and less like I was alone. More often than not now, the silence brought with it a job, a task, and more than likely... it brought with it, or it was because of, Levi.

Obviously, I lived with him and Farlan now, and had been for the past few months. I had grown accustomed to being with them, working with them, living under the same roof with them, providing for them just as they provided for me.

And now, when the silence found me, it was likely because Levi was around and that's just how he was. Silent, yet strong. Silent, yet diligent. Silent, yet incredible.

Maybe that was going a step too far. But no, because he was incredible. And odds were, if it was silent, Levi was nearby. And that, oddly enough, was incredibly comforting. Knowing that even in the silence, there was someone watching my back, it was enough to put me at ease.

And now, Levi led me quietly into a part of the city I'd never been to before. The sights were, of course, new to my eyes, but they were still dirty, dismal buildings with boarded windows, bow-legged people, and rats slinking around in the shadows.

There was a cat sitting on a box, its tail thumping persistently against the wood. Its eyes seemed to glow in the dim light as it regarded two men about to duke it out only feet from it. A rat skirted right behind it, but the cat didn't so much as twitch in response. Shame, because it looked like it could use the meal.

Unintentionally, it looked like the men were fighting over the cat, but obviously that was not the case. The cat's eyes blinked, then it turned its head to look over at us. Perhaps it saw something that we didn't, because someone slinked out of the shadows just as we passed it.

"Pretty lady," a knobby-kneed young man said, his voice a low hiss. His hand, cold and sickly pale, grasped my arm. I'd been walking closer to the buildings, with Levi on the outside of the sidewalk - if you could even call it that - but quicker than a flash, before I could even reach the knife resting in my boot, we had switched places and Levi had me securely, safely behind him, looking at the broad expanse of his back and not at the stranger.

"Watch those hands of yours," Levi warned. I wasn't sure where he kept his knife but all I saw was the glint of metal before he had the blade pressed to the man's wrist, threatening to draw blood.

"Come on, man," the stranger said in a pleading sort of way. He had greasy, stringy black hair that fell over his face like a curtain, making it so we could only see one of his eyes, hazel and completely void of anything but hunger. "You know how it is. Their rates go up and up and all I want is a few minutes alone with her. Just do me a solid and let me play with her a little..."

"You're getting close to losing your tongue," Levi said threateningly and my own eyes narrowed. He thought Levi had bought my services for a night, that was clear. I had half a mind to cut his tongue off myself-

"That's not necessary," the man replied, his voice meek and pathetic. "So protective of a whore..."

"I'm no whore," I said, stepping out from behind Levi, "but you're a bitch. Touch me again and I'll cut both your hands off. It'll be really hard to play with yourself with nubs."

The man wisely chose not to talk back. Satisfied, I took Levi's hand in my own once more and pulled him to follow me. When there was a considerable distance between us and the stranger, I relaxed by letting out a slow breath.

"Thank you," I said quietly to him, taking my hand from his, only for him to promptly take it again, leading me down another street.

"Don't mention it," he responded. "I haven't been in this part of town in a while, but nothing's changed. Are you alright?

"I'm fine," I said. "I'll just have to wash this arm. Maybe cut it off or something, I don't know."

"We'll take a different way to get home," he assured me. "It'll take a little longer but we shouldn't run into anyone else."

"You know this part of the city well, then?"

"Yes."

"I've never been here," I went on to say. "Never had a reason to, I suppose. It's so weird to think that there are still parts of this place I've never been to."

"We're all trapped like rats," Levi said, looking around with a certain wariness in his gaze. "But... I grew up here."

"Seems lively," I commented as we stepped over a man passed out on the sidewalk, dead asleep and reeking of alcohol. "Are we far from where you wanted to bring us?"

"No," he answered. "We'll be there soon."

Eventually, we reached the edge of the city. The block ended halfway along the street and we continued walking across dirt and dust and rock, no longer structures and becoming gradually more unruly. When this immigration project began, they did what they could to work with the natural formation of the cave and worked as best they could with the rock.

But the project never finished, and the city was never completed. But why would the government care? They wouldn't, not when it became the best place to toss unruly criminals and the people deemed too poor to see the sun.

With the natural way the cave fluctuated in its depth, there were parts of the city that rose higher than the others, but the ceiling was always just out of reach, and here I suppose it became too rocky and too unruly, so construction was halted, never to be continued.

This part of the cave, as we left the city behind, was narrowed into a tunnel of sorts, a natural way further into the cave. I expected it to be pitch black in there, and it did get darker, but it wasn't dark like a closed room with no candle lit. No, there was pale, ghostly light reaching far into the shadows here, stemming from further in. 

It was welcoming, not oppressive like the shadows that seemed to close in around us from each wall of this tunnel. This light seemed to invite us further in - no, it was more than that. It was inviting us closer, yes, but it was reaching for us. At least, that's what it felt like.

I felt like I knew what it was. Something instinctual seemed to tell me what it was, something deep in my heart. I hadn't seen it before, I was sure of it, and yet... Goddesses, I felt like I knew what it was. But how? It was ghostly and blue, yet incredibly beautiful.

Was it... Was that light...

"Is that moonlight?"

I hadn't realized that I had even spoken it aloud until Levi responded, and when he did, it was quiet. "It is."

My excitement mounted exponentially with each step as he led me into the tunnel. The moon illuminated our way and all was silent, but it was not eerie and it was not foreboding. It was beautiful, and wonderful, and incredible, and a million other unfathomable things. We reached the end of the tunnel and it opened up into a large, rounded room of rock. 

It seemed like the same rounded rock that always surrounded us, but it was the ceiling that really caught my attention. The ceiling of rock was not actually made of rock. Rather, it all opened up, revealing not the surface but something far better.

Looking up, as far as the eye could see was the sky.

But we could get even closer. There was a small, rocky path leading up to an outcropping of rock so that we might get several feet up higher, and so much closer. Up to this slab of rock we hiked, passing patches of pale, dry grass and even a weed or two.

Gone were the unnatural lights of the city and what replaced it was something far better. Instead of firelight, warm and red, moonlight poured in, cool and blue. Hanging vines clung to the rock up above our heads, a more vibrant green than any I'd ever seen before, even in the moon's glow.

Holy shit, I wanted to say.

But it's gorgeous seemed more appropriate. But would even that be enough? I didn't know. I wanted to give this the respect it warranted, but I wasn't sure if I even knew the words to do so properly.

Even so, if I did know the words to say, I couldn't find the breath, or perhaps the nerve, to say a damn thing.

When have I ever been speechless? And like this? I'd been speechless before, sure. But to be rendered speechless by something's beauty was something I'd never experienced before, due mostly because... nothing in this town was pretty enough to elicit that kind of a reaction from me.

But this...

The sky was a dark, inky sort of blue, but it grew lighter in shade the closer I looked to the moon. A silvery sort of halo surrounded the celestial body, and when I finally looked to the moon itself... If I thought I didn't have the words to describe it before, I certainly didn't have the words now. 

It was tucked away behind some clouds, and the light bouncing from cloud to cloud made them seem to glow with their own ethereal power. Levi let go of my hand and I took several steps past him, only coming to a stop when I reached the center of the rocky landing. I looked straight up, craning my neck uncomfortably but I didn't care. 

I found myself soon nearly blinded by the moon when it finally, at long last, peeked out from behind the clouds. When it made its grand entrance, I was forced to squint, for its light was so bright. I blinked away the wateriness in them as I let them adjust to the sudden light. To go from nothing but dim firelight to the brilliant night sky...

I'd never seen anything quite so bright, and nothing quite so beautiful.

Now that I could see it clearly, I let myself imprint it into my memories. Tonight, the moon was a full circle, perfectly round and never in my life had I seen something so beautifully crafted, so lovingly formed, so finely shaped. 

And goodness, those stars. My breath caught in my throat as my eyes flickered from star to star, trying to take in as many as I could. My focus would catch on a particularly bright star, and upon seeing it I would be able to hone in on the hundreds surrounding it, then all the others, and it seemed that with each second, I could see more, twinkling and sparkling down at me.

How was there possibly room for so much sky when there were so many stars?

But there was. Somehow, impossibly so, there was room for so much sky, even between all the stars. The inky blue canvas stretched for as far as I could see, and it looked at the same time so close that I could touch it but so far away that I could never reach it.

I opened my mouth to speak, to say thank you to Levi or to do anything, even just to comment on the splendor of seeing such a sight, but there was a sudden lump in my throat as tears formed in my eyes. I swallowed it down but a tear slipped down my cheek anyway.

I must have made a noise, or Levi might have just wanted to make sure I hadn't died with shock where I stood, because he was at my side suddenly, leaning hesitantly forward to see my face. "Amaya?"

I think my heart might have taken over again, because suddenly my arms were around him in a tight hug, but before I could wait for his reaction I pulled away, holding my hands out almost defensively, nearly in a placating nature. "I'm sorry," I said quickly, knowing well of his aversion to touching.

It was clear in the way that he cleaned regularly, more regularly than even I would do it, and in the way that he never allowed any physical touch or any kind. Only, we were holding hands just minutes before... but that was a far cry from a hug!

"I'm sorry," I said again. "I don't know why I did that." What I did not anticipate was how suddenly flustered Levi had become. He cleared his throat and looked away, mumbling something. "Hm? What was that?"

Louder, then: "I didn't mind it."

"Oh," I said, suddenly more flustered than he was. Taking it as quiet permission to do it again, I did, going in much slower this time and offering him every opportunity to move away if he wanted to. But he didn't. His eyes were carefully aimed away as I pulled him in close, but he did not pull away, nor did he take long in setting his arms around me.

Just this, something so simple as a hug, felt so incredibly warm and that warmth bloomed in my heart then spread through my body. How could something so simple make me feel so much? And... How long had it been since I had gotten a hug?

Goodness, I couldn't remember, and because of that, it must have been...

Subconsciously, I pulled Levi a little closer, tucking my chin against his shoulder and looking over it, willing myself not to cry openly. I tried to blink them away, but it was futile. I redirected my gaze upwards, looking once more towards the sky. Wow, did it feel incredible to actually be able to say that. The sky.

"Levi?"

"Mm?"

"Thank you," I said quietly, all but mumbling it against his shoulder. My emotion was working hard to try to take over, but I held the rush of it all back as best I could so as to speak. I wanted to say what I wanted to say, and I wanted it to be clear.

"It's just a place," he replied almost hesitantly, and likely a bit embarrassedly. "Figured you'd like it."

"I do," I said honestly. "I really do. I love it. I just... I wish I knew about it. Caden would've loved to come here."

There was a quiet pause. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," I said, "and I didn't mean to make it sound like I was blaming you for anything. There's just nothing to be done about it now. But at the very least, I think his spirit got to see the sky."

"And now you're seeing it too."

"Yeah," I said, unable to think of anything else to say. There was just so much in my head and in my heart and both were threatening to overflow but I wanted to hold myself together and letting either one take over would mean I would lose control.

I pulled away from him, taking only half a step away to allow for some space to be made between us, but I didn't go far. I simply redirected my gaze from the sky to the man before me, noticing immediately how pretty his eyes were in this light.

The moonlight was the same shade of pale blue that his eyes were, and they seemed to amplify each other. His skin was bathed in it, his hair was a stark, incredible contrast to it, and all that intense focus was aimed at me. My breath caught in my throat and I wondered how I looked in that moment to him.

Were my eyes still glassy with tears, my cheeks still glistening with those tracks of the few tears that had fallen, was the smile that bloomed on my face not rueful or melancholic, but joyful and beautiful?

His eyes were searching my face for something, but when they returned to my eyes, I was momentarily winded. I didn't have it in me to pay attention to how close we were, nor how I wanted little more than to hug him again. All I could do was look at him.

Well, until I spoke.

"Levi," I said quietly, not daring to be louder than that so as not to destroy the peaceful sanctity of the moment. "I want you to know how much this means to me. You didn't need to take me so far out of the way just to see the sky, but you did, and that means so, so much to me."

"There's no need to," he trailed off, clearing his throat. "I wanted to. So don't mention it. And..." He glanced away. "We can come back."

"I'd like that," I replied. "Have you ever brought Farlan here?"

"No," he answered, and that made me laugh. "What?"

"I think he'd like it too," I said. "But... I like the peace and quiet when it's just us."

Was that bold? I wasn't sure. Should I have said it? Probably not. But I did, and I couldn't change it now.

I just hadn't expected his reaction to those words to have been a smirk. "You think you're quiet?"

"What? Of course I am," I responded. "What do you mean?"

"You shattered a plate yesterday."

"On accident," I said defensively, "and I already replaced it with my own money! I bought a new set!"

"And they rattled the entire time you carried them in and put them away."

"Alright, alright," I relented with a laugh. "So I'm not quiet all the time. But still, you led me here and not him."

He clicked his tongue irritably, but there was a sense of amusement underneath it all. "Come on," he said, holding his hand towards me. "We should start heading back."

"Already?"

My voice was nearly a whine, and I was surprised he didn't chastise me for it. Instead, he only sighed indulgently, dropping his hand and lowering himself to sit on a rock. "Fine. We can stay."

With a grin, I hurried over and hopped up onto the rock beside him. "Ok, that's good, because I had some questions for you."

I could see it in his face that he was biting back a groan. "Fuck."

"Nothing too bad," I assured him. "Just, stupid things. Like, what's your favorite spot in the city to get a drink?"

"Why the hell do you want to know that?"

"We've been living under the same roof for months," I explained, "and you're still a closed book to me. I know you, but there is lots left for me to know until I know you."

"You're a moron."

"This moron knows that you're just being aloof because you're embarrassed."

"You're a brat."

"And... you're still here."

He considered that for just a moment. I waited with bated breath for something in his face that would give me a sign that he was going to refuse to answer me. But there was nothing, and when he actually opened his mouth to answer, I smiled, realizing that little by little, I was learning to read him.

—

I'm not sure how long we sat there talking, but the moon had disappeared beyond the absence of rock we could see through and so I figured it must have been early morning, right? Because the sun would start to rise? We didn't wait around long enough to watch the dawn pass across the sky or for the sun to appear, but when I made a comment about it on the walk back home, Levi replied easily, saying that we would just have to make sure to watch the next time.

The next time.

Something about those words had a flurry of butterflies erupting in my belly. It might've been as simple as the fact that he found my company enjoyable enough to want to do this again, because there wasn't an if, it was just that it would happen again.

I was starting to learn to read him, or at least I thought I was, and so I felt confident enough to figure that it was something else. It wasn't so simple as just my company being enjoyable. There was something else. There was something about the way that we had looked at each other in a closer proximity than ever before, far closer than I'd seen him near anyone else.

There was something about the look in his eyes, and assuredly it was the same way I had been looking at him. There was something about the easy way that we took to walking together back home, holding hands despite not needing to.

There was just... something else present there, something that hadn't been there before.

I had half a mind to guess at what it was, but I didn't want to think about it right now. Right now, I was focused only on enjoying this time but more specifically, I was just focusing on him.

Sure, I had enough of my mind present enough to not trip over things or bump into him - unintentionally, anyway - most of my brain power was centered on the man currently holding my hand. Because holy shit, I don't know what I had in mind for my life, but holding hands and walking the streets with a criminal was not one of them.

Goodness, if El could only see me now...

Caden would find it funny.

And when I glanced down at our joint hands, I couldn't help but smile, but only because by some grace of the goddesses my hand fit just so within his grasp, and only until his gaze flickered over to see what I was reacting to and so I looked away. That prompted him to look up and away as well, and I nearly laughed at how stupid this was. How stupid we were.

And... how risky this was. If this was what I thought it was, if the pounding of my heart in my chest was indeed quickening because of him, and something so simple as holding his hand could make me feel so light, then I was in trouble.

Feelings were complicated. Feelings were hard. And I'd never... Growing up, I had never felt anything so... I had no idea what I was doing. My brain was a muddled mess and I had no way of knowing if it was because of him or how I felt or because of the complexity of even trying to think about it all.

I forced myself to set it aside.

For now, I could live in the moment. Right? That was the best thing to do for now. Maybe what I was feeling was only the result of such a peaceful, calm evening. He had certainly been extremely sweet in leading me there, to see the moonlight. And he had protected me - knowing damn well I could have done it myself - when that man had tried taking me with him into the shadows for his twisted version of fun. And we had talked for so long about nothing important, but that which only allowed us to understand each other a little better, under the waning moonlight.

What the word... Was it romantic? It had been that. It was a moment that would be hard to forget, I think. And... goddesses, I'm so stupid! I had flirted with him! Was I sick?

And you're still here, I had told him.

Was I insane?!

And earlier, telling him that he needed to be careful what he wished for, because if he called me brat for as long as I was in his life, it might just be forever. What had gotten into me?

Somewhere, Caden was giggling his little head off watching me and El was probably shaking his head with disbelief and possibly even some disappointment. I mean, for one thing, I was a criminal. That was bad enough. But I was also feeling... something for another criminal!

I was going mad. That had to be it.

Please, someone grant me the power to focus on whatever the hell I was thinking about before this. Oh, that would have been Levi. Well, shit.

I allowed myself to get lost in it, in the moment. Embarrassment aside, it really had been a lovely night. And I wouldn't mind doing it again. Maybe soon. But it didn't matter, I would wait. I smiled upon realizing it. I was willing to wait for a man.

Ah, well.

Smiling a little, I stepped a bit closer to him as we walked. If he noticed, he didn't mention it nor did he allow himself to react in any way. Well, only in the ways he could control. He couldn't keep a look of surprise from reaching his eyes if he even tried, at least not to anyone who didn't spend so much time looking at him.

I nearly choked. Had I admitted that I looked at him so much that reading him, reading the most minute changes in his expression and most specifically in his eyes, was becoming easy? The hole I was digging myself into just kept getting deeper.

I couldn't bring myself to care about it right now, because it was quiet, it was calm, and for a few moments at least, I could let my guard down. I looked around, taking in the sights of the city, few though there were. Occasionally, my gaze would drift upwards.

We were walking again, and though as always I was looking up towards rock, this time... I was looking through it, to the stars.