My mind is blank. It is as though all thought has been erased from my head. I stare blankly ahead, looking at, and thinking of – nothing.

I recognise this state of mind. It's the thing I did when small, ridding my head of all frightful thoughts and inducing in me a kind of catatonic state in order to escape from my childhood fears.

But I am no longer a child, but yet I am not quite an adult. However, I know I am grown enough to face my responsibilities and not indulge my childhood habits.

I shake my head and bring myself back into this reality – I have a decision to make.

And almost immediately I am hit with a moment of clarity. I cannot go back to the others and inform them of what Ali intends to do, for that would be a betrayal of my friend. That would make me no better than Carola.

No, I must go to Ali and support her. Even though I strongly disagree with her want to terminate her Blue Eye, I must put aside my own personal beliefs and support a friend who has given me unwavering support when we both had a mountain to climb.

I resume walking forward, picking up my pace towards the great vessel, Sheroa.

###

It is with a sense of loneliness that I climb the gangplank of the Sheroa. I miss the company of Jethro. It is not that I have a depth of feeling for him, like I did for Jake. No, I just miss his knowing and experience of this place. But I concede, I am drawn to him physically; which is something I must try to quash in order to focus on our escape to freedom.

###

Walking the narrow, carved corridors of the Sheroa en-route to the medical cabin, I think of my own Blue Eye. I cradle my flat, taut stomach and have a warm glow when I think of watching and feeling it swell and grow. My experience is so different from Ali's, she actually refuses to look at her stomach, she even avoids touching her midriff. I try to put myself in her shoes, but I cannot – for even thinking about losing my Blue Eye gives me a physical pain.

###

As I approach the medical cabin, I halt when I hear Ali speaking – "Every morning, when my Blue Eye causes me sickness, I re-live his violence, I feel the force and pain of his invasion, I hear the horror of his words, 'My seed will straighten you, you disordered being!' He would say this over and over again as he thrust himself upon me."

The sadness and fear in her voice is palpable and I feel my eyes tear up. I gently knock the door, not wanting to eavesdrop anymore."

"Who is it?" Calls out the lady medic.

"It is me, Blue."

"Do come in," she says, with a welcoming cheer.

Ali and the medic sit, facing each other. Ali rises and pulls in a chair, "I am so happy to see you Blue; come sit with us," she says.

There is an atmosphere of calm as the medic addresses me, "I know you are fully aware of why Ali is here, may I ask how you feel about her not wanting to proceed with this carry?" 

I am somewhat taken aback by her question, and when Ali sees my pause she puts her hand on my knee, "Be honest Blue, I can take it." 

The words fall from me in a flurry, "I have a desire, or maybe it is a foolish dream, that Ali and I can start a new life, and that we will raise our children together as loving siblings." My tears start to fall, but I continue, "Even though I am only a mere weeks from conception, I feel my child's presence within me; and I know you feel the same, Ali." I look at her through tear sodden eyes, "Ali, your child is not to blame for the crime Petros bestowed upon you, please consider my plea to continue your carry; we met as Blue Eye's and I wish we continue as Blue Eye's, together," I say, before allowing my tears to override my words.

Ali touches my knee, "Your dream is not foolish, but your dream is my nightmare, that is my truth, Blue," she says, with a gentle voice. She removes her hand from my knee, "It is true, I feel a presence within me, but my experience of it is not the same as yours. You see how violently ill I am in the mornings, I feel my body is trying to expel its carry itself," she says.

The medic leans in, "That may well be, Ali. It is relatively common to have a natural loss in the early stages of first carry." She sits back, "Which is why I would like you to take awhile to consider your actions, Ali." 

Wiping my eyes, I see Ali nod gently, "Yes, I shall." She stands up, I note she is stooped and somehow seems diminished in stature, "And I feel the need to apologise for bringing my personal concerns to you when the Sanctuary is in the grip of its own crisis that could affect us all," she says. The medic shakes her head, "There is no need for sorry. And do not fret, we are all in safe hands with the Cutter Collective# 1 protecting us."

###

We walk slowly back to the Freedom Tunnel and as we do, I to feel the need to apologise, "I am sorry for spilling my feelings about your Blue Eye, Ali." 

"Your honesty is welcome, it allows me trust in your friendship even more," she says.

"Does it alter how you feel about your carry?" I ask.

She stops and stares ahead, "No. But it has given me cause for pause, especially as Armina also shares your view. Tomorrow is a new day, and I shall share how I feel with you, then."

I smile, "You and Armina are bonding," I say, as we continue walking.

She returns a sheepish, "What are you suggesting?"

My smile widens, "I suggest nothing. I am merely telling you that I have observed your bonding, and that it is nice to behold."

She drops her head, "I have never met a girl that is the same as me with truth about her self." She looks at me, "I am beguiled by her; she makes me believe in a future that features love and support – I like that she makes me feel like this," she says, shyly.

I nod and find myself chuckling, "Yes, yes, and I like how she makes you feel, I like how you look when you're with her," I say.

"Do I look different when I'm with her?" 

"Yes. You look full of life, you glow, you look free." 

She nods her head, "And that is how I feel when I am with her," she says, walking forward with a renewed vigour in her stride.

###

Back in The Freedom Tunnel we are met with a message chalked on the floor – 'BLUE AND ALI, WE ARE IN OUR INNER SANCTUM. JOIN US WHEN YOU ARE READY. Joshua, Armina, Madam Cyn.'

Ali lingers over the words, "These people are true warriors, we are lucky to have walked into their lives, Blue," she says.

I nod my agreement, "The Cutter Collective# 1 have secured the Sanctum; that gives me such relief."

"Me too. Come, let us join them," says Ali, walking with a quickened pace along the Freedom Tunnel.

###

As we walk the carved corridors we are buoyed by the celebratory sounds emanating from the inner sanctum. The Cutters triumphant chattering's echo throughout the chambers, causing us to quicken our pace in order to join them in celebration.

Snippets of Jethro's commanding voice are carried on the waves of a celebratory echo that increase in force as we near the vast reception area that first welcomed us to this great Sanctuary.

###

Ali enters the reception area first, and is immediately met with a chorus of cheers. I feel slightly surplus to requirements as I shuffle in unnoticed, behind her.

Armina rushes to greet her, almost knocking her over with the force of her greeting. She grabs Ali's shoulders, and immediately I notice an urgent look stretched across her face that is at odds with the celebratory mood, "Stay strong Ali, I promise I will do all I can to reclaim you!"

In a violent blur, Armina is yanked from Ali and is dragged by her hair, kicking and screaming in protest.

My confusion is profound as I see a crowding chaos of people running for the exit of foliage curtain. And in that instant my blood chills when I realise the cries we heard were of distress, not celebration.

I am unable to move as shock renders me inert.

The chaos begins to subside and a female voice cuts through the space – "They both look the same with shaven heads, which one carries my progeny?" The words are hard and dripping with a malevolent intent.

"She is the one on the right." Comes the answer – from Carola. She points to Ali with a determined finger.

But it is who stands next to Carola that commands my attention.

She is a woman in excess of six feet tall. She is clad in a tight black tunic that highlights the athleticism of her physique. She has vivid red hair that is stretched tight off, of her head and bound atop, allowing a billowing cascade of crimson locks to flow free behind her. She has a milky white complexion, with facial cheekbones so sharp and defined that it as if they were carved by a master sculptor.

She is Petra of Pantheon – and she has triumphed over the Cutter collective# 1.