reconcile

Liam and I eventually made our way back to Kayla's apartment about three hours later, hoping she was calm enough to want to speak to me. But my eyes widened once we made our way up the elevator when I saw Adonis standing at the door, banging.

"Hey! What the fuck are you doing?!" I yelled at him, confusion clear in my loud voice.

When he ignored me, I grabbed his shoulder but he roughly jerked away and looked me in the eye. "Did you know?"

"Know what?" I asked, still incredibly bewildered. There was a lot going on so fast, I was still trying to absorb it.

"Kay is pregnant!" He yelled, his nostrils flaring and a vein in his neck looking like it was about to jump out of his brown skin. He was mad—no, livid. "I had to find out through fucking Facebook, and who the fuck uses Facebook anymore?"

"Calm the fuck down," I spat sharply, my eyes narrowing. I shook my head before pulling the key Kayla gave to me last week out my pocket. "Stupid shit like this is part of the reason why she was so hesitant to say anything."

"You knew and you didn't even tell me?" He uttered, backing away from me and covering his face with his hands before getting in my face. "I had to drive all the way from NAU just now for this. Cashmere, that is my kid in her. My fucking baby!"

I saw Liam take a step forward out of the corner of my eye, but I shook my head to indicate that it was cool. Adonis didn't scare me. "Nigga, if you don't get the fuck up out my face right now, I will knock your ass out."

For good measure, I kicked him in between his legs, making him grunt and collapse on the floor in pain.

"She'll talk to you when she's ready to, dumbass," I told him, while unlocking the door and stepping over his crumpled form. "And for the record, it's not just your baby. It's hers too, and it's her body, her choice."

I walked into the living room, and noticed a steaming cup of tea left lying on the table in front of the couch. I sighed and picked up the tea cup and walked to her room.

"Kay? I have your tea," I said, trying to take my jacket off and juggled the hot cup in my hand without trying to spill anything.

I hear soft footsteps before she opened the door. She was crying and she opened to door wider before going to sit back in the bed.

"That grimy bitch Amina," Kayla eventually said, breaking the silence. "She found out and wrote on my facebook wall asking if she should start buying me maternity clothes. God, who even uses Facebook anymore?"

I placed her drink on the nightstand before sitting next to her. "Let's jump her."

She chuckled and shook her head. "I gotta make better decisions if I'm really gonna be a mom. Fighting is one of them."

"Imma need you to relay that message to the father as well," I commented, hoping that would trigger an explanation for everything.

She sighed. "He saw the post before I deleted it. The first thing he did was come here and try to press me about it, so I shut the door in his face. I'm not ready to talk about it, and he's not going to force it."

I nodded and leaned in for a hug, which she reciprocated. "I'm really sorry about what I said. This whole thing has me feeling all over the place, but that gives me no right to just say rude shit."

Kay smiled before shaking her head. "Don't even worry about it. Understand that all this is really difficult to go through, so you get a pass for how. But say that shit any other time, and I'm murking your ass."

I laughed before getting more comfortable in the bed. "I get that, but you gotta understand that you're gonna have to eventually come to terms with Adonis. We know how stubborn he can get the it comes to things that involve him direct. He's not going to let up on this one."

Tucking her legs underneath her body, she shifted herself so she could look at me. "I know, but until I make a decision on what I want to do, I don't want to talk to him just yet."

I nodded before bringing her body into a side hug. "It'll be okay. You're beautiful and smart, and whatever you decide I know you can handle it."

So can you," She said, wrapping her arms around me. "You know, I think Zayn really cares for you and he just wants to see you happy. I mean, I don't know him but based on how you say he was, he really does."

I sighed. "I have to focus on this case honestly before anything like that."

"And you do that," she said, leaning her head on top of mine. "But after that, you guys have a lot to talk about."

———

three months later

"Miss Rawlings, can you walk us through the events of that night?" Mr. Horan asked me, his spectacle clad eyes staring pointedly at me.

We'd gone over these questions in preparation for the cross examination, but nothing could prepare me for sitting in the witness box with a clear view of Justice and Mr. Tomlinson.

Louis was testifying on my behalf, which was surprising to everyone except me. He wanted to fix all the bad shit that goes on in this school, he'd have to start with his father first.

"I was at a party, and I was meeting my then boyfriend there. We ended up breaking up that same night and I started drinking to forget what happened and I took a pill." I paused to recollect myself, because thinking about that night still made me shake.

"What happened after that?" Niall coaxed, his voice gently so I could answer the next question.

"I went into the kitchen out of distress and Justice offered me a drink which I accepted," I answered, swallowing hard. No amount of practice could prepare me for sitting in the room, with all eyes on me. I was starting to sweat. "After that, I-I don't remember anything. I think I was probably drugged."

"Objection," the defense lawyer said, standing up from her seat. "Speculation."

"Sustained," the judge's voice was loud. "Jury will disregard the last statement."

"What happened the next morning when you woke up?" Niall said, pacing back and forth in the open space on the court floor.

"I found out that the video of me being assaulted had been spread around the basketball team," I said, licking my lips out of nervousness.

"Do you know why those two boys would do something like this?" He asked, but was quickly shut down.

"Objection, speculation again," the defense spoke up once more. Her straight blonde hair reminded me of Jasmine, and I gritted my teeth in annoyance for even thinking about that dumb bitch.

Niall shook his head. "Actually, Your Honor. This question isn't asking her opinion, it questions the reasoning behind the whole ordeal."

"I'll allow it," Judge Mathers said, nodding her head. "You may answer the question, Miss Rawlings."

"It was a ploy for revenge against my twin brother because he didn't attend NAU at first for basketball, and because I rejected the advances of Louis and Justice previously before," I explained.

"Tell us, Miss Rawlings, what did the school, or more importantly, the president do when you presented the video of yourself to the board?"

I swallowed hard and took a deep breath. The longer this went on, the more my anxiety built up in my chest. "He wasn't supposed to even be there, because his son was the one facing trouble. But he offered me three years of tuition if I signed a non-disclosure agreement, and I took it without knowing the legal ramifications."

"Did you know at the time that signing NDAs to suppress an event like this is illegal?"

"No, I did not," I answered, shaking my head. "I just thought that if I signed it, everything would go away and go back to normal."

"Did it?"

"No. It was suppressed but it got worse and took a toll on my mental health until the video was spread again by him," I responded, pointing and moving my gaze to Justice who was glaring at me with such hatred that I would've been hurt if I cared what he thought.

"Let the record reflect that she just identified the defendant, Justice Greer," Niall said, before sitting back in his seat. "Nothing further."

The defense lawyer, whose name was just going to be Blondie because I didn't have the energy to recall what she said her name was in the deposition. "Miss Rawlings, do you drink or do drugs often?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, at parties. I'm a college student. My friends and I have a half pill method where we limit how much we put into our system."

"And what is this half pill method exactly?"

"We bite off half a pill and give it to each other so we don't take a whole one."

Blondie shuffled her papers on the tables. "Well, drug use is common with blackouts, correct?"

I nodded slowly because I wasn't sure where this was going. "Yes—"

"So If your alcohol use is so common, how are you sure that it was my client that gave you the drug?" Blondie asked, her eyebrow raised and a small smile on her face.

"W-what?" I stammered out, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"You said yourself, you and your friends do drugs constantly. How do you know that Justice is the one who gave you the drug that made you black out when you're off consuming random half pills at parties?"

"Objection!" Niall yelled, getting up from his seat. "Badgering."

"If there is a non condescending question hidden in your statement, Counselor, I would advise you to ask it," the judge warned, shaking her head.

My palms were beginning to sweat, and I was starting to get nervous. Were they trying to spin this whole case on me? I was unable to give consent because of my incapacitated state, so what exactly was she trying to get at? My eyes moved to the rows behind the wooden barrier and I saw Kayla and Liam sitting in the first row. Kayla smiled at me reassuringly and Liam mouthed the word "breathe".

"I'll rephrase: are you sure that Justice is the one who gave you the drug that caused you to pass out?"

I paused, actually thinking to myself. Was I actually sure that what he gave me made me like this? What if that pill I took got me in that state?

"Um, well he gave me a cup of beer—"

"Miss Rawlings, I didn't ask what drink he gave you. I asked if you're sure he drugged you?"

"I, um, I don't know," I admitted, grinding my teeth together in a way to keep my raging anger down. In my peripheral, I could see a smug smirk on the face of Justice, and I almost felt like crying.

"Nothing further," Blondie said, walking back over to the table.

"Redirect, your honor?" Niall said, standing up from his seat. At the approval of the judge, he walked over to me. "Cashmere, do you see the ones who forced you to have oral sex against your will and without your consent in this courtroom today?"

"Yes, they're over there," I said, pointing at the defendants' table.

"Let the record reflect that she is referring to Louis Tomlinson and Justice Greer. Nothing further," he said, sending me a look before sitting back down.

"After your last witness is called, the ruling will be heard tomorrow morning," the judge banged the gavel and dismissed the court. "You may step down, Miss Rawlings."

I sighed before moving off the stand. Liam and Kayla rushed to me instantly.

"Jesus, that was brutal," Kay commented, shaking her head. "How are they still trying to prove that he didn't drug you when they literally have them on camera saying otherwise?"

"It's just a tactic they're using to tarnish the credibility of the witness," Mr. Horan said, patting my shoulder reassuringly. "Don't worry, our case is rock solid."

"If you say so," I quipped, biting my lip out of nervousness.

"Get a good night's sleep for tomorrow's closing statements, and don't stress too much!" He told me before pushing his way out of the wooden doors.

I sat on the bench outside the courtroom, trying to relax and stop myself from hyperventilating. Being in that stuffy room with Justice staring back at me put me back in the helpless state I found myself in only a year ago.

"Cashmere, take a deep breath," Kay's raspy voice calmed me down slightly. "It'll all be over tomorrow."

"But what if it isn't?" I panicked, shaking my head. "What If everyone is acquitted?"

"At least Louis won't be," Liam told me. "He's turning himself in after the trial."

I nodded. I was told this when I noticed he was on the witness list and showed my confusion. He was really serious when he initially apologized, and this only proved it.

"C'mon, let's go home," Kay said, walking me down the hall and to the elevator.

——

My phone rang when I was sitting on the couch watching television, and I looked at it to see Dreya's name pop up on the screen.

It was strange because even though we text a little, we didn't really talk on the phone. When I left home, she was devastated and took it harder than anticipated.

"Hey," I answered, licking a spoon of Rocky Road and flicking through the channels. "What's up?"

"Bro, oh my God. You need to turn on ESPN, right fucking now," she stammered out, urgency clear in her tone.

I switched the channel and my heart froze. I knew I told Zayn to go into the draft early, but I didn't think he'd listen to me. It just started and they were pointing out who was who in the selection process. Zayn's career highlights were flashing on the screen, and I couldn't take my eyes off of him.

"Did you know he was going in this year?" I turned to see Kay standing behind me and leaning on the back of the couch.

"I didn't think he would actually do it," I admitted, turning my head back to the screen.

The first pick was a player from Texas A&M, and I only knew who he was because Liam and Diego used to trash talk him and the way he played.

I bit my nails nervously, hoping that Zayn was picked high in the draft. It was hard to come back from a low pick and I didn't want him to get lost on the bench.

"Cash!" Dress yelled, and it surprised me because I forgot I was even on the phone. "I'm gonna FaceTime you because I hate holding the phone to my ear."

I picked up her call, and propped her against the vase on the table in front of me.

"With the second pick in the 2017 NFL Draft, the New York Giants select Zayn Malik, running back, Massachusetts!" The announcer called, and I felt the floor shift from underneath me.

"Oh my god. Oh my god," I said, my jaw basically unhinged from my face.

Zayn, dressed to kill in a slim fitted suit, got up and kissed his mom on the cheek and gave his whole family a hug. He smiled at the camera—the one where his tongue was between his teeth— and walked over to the podium to get his jersey.

"Blue is definitely his color," Kay commented, grasping my shoulder and rubbing it soothingly.

My mind was still reeling. Zayn was coming here, to New York after the summer. He was going to be here.

I was so out of it that I I didn't notice that they already announced the top five and almost missed the backstage interviews.

"So, Zayn, how does it feel to be a Giant?" The interviewer asked him, and he smiled.

"I've never been happier in my whole life," he admitted, his smile so bright. My heart jumped at this sight, and I could feel myself tear up. "I'm jus happy that I can be in the same city as the woman I'm in love with."

My eyes widened, and my lips slowly parted. "Did—oh god."

I could hear Dreya screaming at the top of her lungs over the phone, and I wish Liam didn't have to be back at school so we could've watched this together.

"There's a woman?" The nosy ass man asked, putting the mic under Zayn's chin. "Who the lady?"

"Her name is Cashmere, but the only thing you need to know is that I'm happy, but I'd be happier if I could share this moment with her," he answered, while rubbing the back of his neck. "But only if she'll let me."

I couldn't hold back the sob that came out of my mouth, and I was a mess after that. Tears started streaming endlessly, and I couldn't tell if I was crying for everything that happened or everything that was about to.

"Cash," Kay whispered, rubbing my back as she sat down next to me. "I think you know what's about to happen, don't you?"

I took a deep breath, and shook my head. "I don't know, Kay. This is so much."

"Listen, you helped me with all the baby drama when you first started living here. I wasn't sure how I was going to navigate school and a kid, but I'm gonna do it because you told me I could," she told me, before jerking my upright. "Now stop being a little bitch and stop crying. You cried way too much in the past few months and I know you're not even like that."

Adonis and Kayla ended up talking, and decided to give up their baby for adoption after she give birth. They said it was the right thing to do because they weren't in any position to start a family as of yet. Kay wanted to finish school, and Adonis wanted to get drafted. Their relationship was still a little rocky, but they were working it out and getting there.

I sniffled and wiped my eyes before sitting back in the chair.

We sat in silence for a long while, with the only things audible being the sound of the TV and Dreya's obnoxious chewing. "Where's the draft happening this year?"

"Jersey, baby!" Dreya yelled, and I could hear the crinkles from the popcorn bag she was stuffing her face with. "Home of the... uh, Snooki's, I guess."

"I have to go meet him," I said, getting up from my seat. "I just can't sit here after he just told the world he loves me. Because I need to tell him that I love him too, and that every day that went by, I never stopped thinking about us and what we could've been."

Kayla handed my her car keys, and sent me a smile. "Bring it back in one piece—and bring him back too."

——

Kayla's car was hard to find.

Considering the fact that I vaguely remember what car she drives because she never uses it (maybe a beat up Toyota Camry?) or the fact that she parked her car somewhere far away to not pay fees on the meter, I never really had a fair chance.

I shook my head and sat down on the concrete bench, frustrated out of my mind. All I wanted to do was to hear the sound of Zayn's voice, and feel the warmth of his arms...

"Cash." My head snapped up so fast, I was surprised I didn't have whiplash.

He was standing in the middle of the walkway, one hand in his pocket, and the other fiddling with his tie. He looked even better than he did before since his hair was finally growing and he had a fresh cut. He was fine as hell.

"Zayn," I whispered, openly gaping at him. I had all these words I planned to say, but I was trying to work on a full dialogue on the car ride over. Now that he was here in the flesh, my tongue seemed to be made of cotton balls.

He stepped forward hesitantly, and I think my trembling lips and watery eyes made him close the distance even faster. He enveloped me in a hug, and I started to cry.

"'M so fucking sorry," Zayn said, pulling me into his chest and sitting us back down. "There are no words that can explain how stupid I was to you, and it's all my fault for not listening—"

"Don't even blame yourself. I should've just told you everything in the first place but I was too ashamed of what happened and I just wanted it to be in the past," I cried out, relaxing when I felt his fingers comb through my hair. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, we're okay," he murmured in my ear soothingly.

I've waited so long for a resolution to our issues that now being on the brink of one, it felt nice and different. I felt like a huge burden was lifted off my chest and I could finally breathe easier again. I was now whole.

"Please forgive me and take me back," he pleaded, moving back to softly grasp my cheeks to make me look at him. "I'll get on my knees if I have to—"

"I love you," I blurted out, not being able to contain my emotions anymore.

His eyes lit up and he smiled widely. "I love you too, Cashmere. I think I fell in love with you on the stairwell of that house party, listening to the weekend and you almost falling in my arms."

"You remember that?" I said with a laugh, tears still falling.

He pulled my body closer to his, and I wrapped my arms around his. "Of course I do, how could I forget?"

"I can't believe you got drafted to the Giants," I said, disbelief now in my tone. "Like what are the odds that you get placed in a New York team?"

He simply smiled and kiss my forehead before trailing down to my cheeks and then my nose. "Magicians never reveal their secrets."

I slapped his chest, and when I tried to do it again, he grabbed my wrist and held it in place.

"I missed you so much, Z," I admitted, staring up at him. "I really did."

"God, I am so in love with you," he whispered, before pressing his lips to mine.

We kissed under the fading evening sky, our problems melting away into the dark abyss of the night. We were together, and we had each other, and that was all that mattered.

—-
a/n: y'all omg blow is almost over :( in a few chapters the story of cash and zayn will end and I'll finished a work I'm actually proud of on Wattpad

but anyway, if you've been with me for the past two years and put up with my faulty updating, thank you so much. I appreciate you and love you all

-rachel

[p.s. please read my story leopard space dolphins!! I would really appreciate feedback on it since it's an original and I'm super excited working on it :) ]