play (no games)

"Cash, fucking breathe!" Adonis yelled, shaking my shoulders.

Quickly, I jerked myself away from him and swallowed the polluted air. I was gasping for breath, and instantly I knew I had a panic attack.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," I assured them when Isra started to help me up. "I'm good."

"The fuck was that?" Adonis asked, his eyebrows furrowed. "I thought you said those stopped a while ago."

"They've been starting up since—"

I cut Isra off, not wanting her to say anything. Adonis still has no idea what happened, and I'd prefer if he didn't. And with the possibility of him coming to my school, I couldn't ruin that opportunity. "Since this summer. A lot has been going on recently but I've been handling it."

"This is what you call handling it? Having panic attacks and telling me it means nothing?" He then turned to Zayn, his eyes glowing with accusations. "Does it have to anything with this nigga?"

"How about you get up out my face and stop talking what you can't handle?" Zayn replied, his jaw clenched as he stared back at Adonis.

Timmy pressed his hand against Adonis' chest, to hold him back. "Chill out!"

"Can y'all relax?" I all but screamed, which got their attention. "It has nothing to do with him."

I didn't even feel like smoking anymore, and I'm pretty sure no one was in the mood anymore since the blunt that was once lit was on the floor. What a waste of good ass weed.

"Cashmere," Adonis said, and I knew he was being serious because he never used my full name, "are you okay?"

"Yes," I replied, although I wasn't sure if I was. My brother was about to join a team that basically destroyed me, but I didn't want to be the person to ruin his dreams.

"Let's just go inside," Isra offered, rubbing my back and helping me up. "It's getting cold."

We all stood up, and went back inside. I felt as if I had messed up the good mood of the evening, but it didn't seem to phase my cousins. They were making beats on the walls as they went down the steps, which made everyone laugh and join in with claps. If they were trying to distract everyone from what happened, they were doing a good job.

I felt Zayn grab my forearm, and he let the group pass before releasing me. He bent to look into my eyes. "What's going on?"

I sighed. "Nothing. I'm just stressed with everything happening all at once."

He nodded and stayed silent, before placing his hand on my lower back to go down the steps.

By the time we were at the main level, the dining room and relatively clean. It seems my mom tidied up all the food after what went down and by the loud laughter in the den, I knew she was going to be okay.

But was I? I wasn't sure anymore and I didn't want to bother anyone about my inner problems.

"Cash?" I turned around and Dreya stood in her doorway, only her head peaking out. "You good?"

I smiled and nodded. "I think so."

She sent me a look and made the texting signal with her hands, which mean she wanted me to look at my phone.

A few moments later, it buzzed in my back pocket and I took it out.

dreyaaaa: adonis told me what happened?? is it because of him transferring?

cash money: yea he doesn't know and I'm not going to tell him

dreyaaaa: does zayn know or nah

I looked up from across the table and Zayn sat, typing away at his phone.

cash money: nah

dreyaaaa: ok but how are you gonna stop adonis from going to nau

cash money: i'm not. why would I be the one to stop his dream

dreyaaaa: cashmere. you're being dumb as fuck right now.

I ignored her last message, and placed my phone down. I knew she knew I was ignoring her because my phone started blowing up with texts.

"I swear, you sigh more than you smile," Zayn commented, a grin on his face as he peered at me over his phone.

"Stress does that to you," I responded, shrugging a shoulder. "At this point, I wish I was on campus."

"Well, you don't have to be here all weekend," he offered, placing his phone on the table. "You could always come to my games."

I raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure about that? I don't want to distract you."

"You won't," he assured me, moving across to rub my arms. "I want you there, cheering my name from the stands. And then when we win..."

He trailed off to give me a soft kiss, which almost had me melting in the kitchen chair.

"...I want you screaming my name, with you in nothing but my jersey and those knee high socks you love so fucking much."

----

Sitting in New Jersey while freezing my ass off was not how I expected to spend my thanksgiving weekend.

My hot chocolate has since gone cold, and I was shivering in the stands. The three layers couldn't protect me from this bone chilling cold, and I swear I could see flurries beginning to fall from the sky.

"Fuck," I whispered, when the whistle blew again. I didn't want them to keep pausing the game, I just wanted them to hurry the hell up so I could go inside and warm up.

Zayn's seats were right above the bench, and I could see Diego, Liam, and Zayn on the field. Before they got in formation, they dapped each other and did a hand signal, which made me confused.

I honestly could care less about football, since I was raised in a basketball house who claimed "the Knicks were going to take it this year" every year. I didn't bother to understand the rules, so I just paid attention to when someone from North Atlantic had the ball.

Shivering, I sat back down in my seat, hoping this could end faster. I only agreed to this because Zayn asked, and I was basically guaranteed dick if they won. And so far, the score was 20-6 so the night was in my favor.

"Cash?" I turned around and my eyebrows raised.

"Darius?" What are the odds that my ex from high school would be in the same stadium as my current boyfriend?

"I just saw you from three rows behind, and I knew it was you," he said, his smile still bright after all these years. "What's good?"

I smiled slightly as he hugged me but didn't reciprocate. I wasn't going to forget how he tried to get with Kayla behind my back so many times. "I'm good."

"So, who are you here for?" He asked, taking a seat next to me, as if I invited him over here.

"My boyfriend and my friends," I answered, before focusing back on the game that I didn't even want to watch. It was better than conversing with my ass of an ex, that's for sure.

"You got a mans?" He questioned, as if I wasn't telling the truth. "Stop playing, you could barely get over me back then."

My jaw dropped, just as the buzzer rang, indicating that the first half was over. The players started walking through the tunnel, but I saw Zayn hang back to look for me in the crowd. He smiled and waved, and I had to force my unhinged jaw into a smile.

It wasn't long before I heard boos sounding from my section, and I looked up to see Diego and Zayn coming down the stairs.

"Hey," Zayn greeted, kissing my cheek and pressing his face to my neck. Since he was still sweaty, I screeched and shoved him away which made him laugh.

"Wassup, Cash?" Diego said, pulling me into a hug. "I hear you're the reason Coach wants to beat Zayn up."

"His dumbass should've gotten on the plane with y'all," I said, slapping Zayn in the stomach. "I've been telling him that. And why are you guys up here? Shouldn't you be in the locker room rehashing or whatever?"

"This team sucks," Diego said, rolling his eyes. "But you're right. C'mon, Z."

Zayn turned to leave with him, but not before stealing a chaste kiss on my lips. "Remember what I said." He looked to my left and saw Darius, who was shockingly quiet for the entire time. Zayn raised an eyebrow, and looked him up and down before chuckling and going back up the stairs.

I couldn't help but laugh as Darius' dumbass traipsed back up to his seat. He should've known better.

----

a/n: ok I'm gonna cut it off here because I'm still high and what I'm writing probably makes no sense anymore

so when I'm not a little shmizzdd I will totes edit and probs make a part two since this feels unfinished or maybe it doesn't WHO knows

-rachel