break

"What the hell is going on?" I asked this girl who was running across the courtyard.

"Break is about to start, so basically everyone is throwing their last parties for the year on campus!" She said, smiling brightly. "Which reminds me..."

She shoved a bright orange flyer in my hand and continued on her way, giving them out to everyone that crossed her path.

I looked down and I saw it was for a party to congratulate the football team on making it to the playoffs. They were on track to become NCAA champions since they were undefeated all season. Nice.

Zayn probably knew about the party already, but I still texted him the details and asked if he was going. When I didn't get a response, I assumed it was because he was in practice until Liam approached me.

"Hey, have you seen Zayn? He was supposed to show up at practice, but he didn't and he wasn't in his room this morning either," he said, shifting his gym bag on his shoulder.

"No, I haven't seen him since yesterday," I said, confused. "I thought he would be at practice since he isn't answering my texts."

"Yikes. If he won't answer you, I have no clue what's going on." He adjusted the baseball cap on his head before shrugging. "Where are you headed?"

"Campus bookstore. Wanna come?"

"Nah, I got better things to do, but if you see your coworker around, tell him to text me. His lips felt nice around my dick." He winked before he jogged across the yard, leaving me shocked. "See you around though!"

"Hey!" I called after him but he was too far to hear me. I wanted to talk about him acting mighty suspicious yesterday around me, but he seemed to get away from me before I could actually say anything.

It was weird. Everything felt so calm yet out of order. It felt like the aftermath of a heavy thunderstorm but the premise to a hurricane. It was tense yet normal.

Finals were all throughout this week, but I had finished mine today so I had time to relax.

My phone vibrated, and I perked up because I thought it was Zayn but it was only Isra.

"What?" I answered, slightly annoyed.

"Jesus, fix the attitude," Isra said, before cheering up. "Because we're going to the football party tonight!"

"Oh god, you got the flyer too?" That girl must've given it to almost everyone on campus. "I guess I'm going."

"Wasn't really an option but glad you agree!" She said excitedly. "Now get back over here so you can help me pick an outfit and I can help you pick one!"

-

"Do you really want to spend your last week of the gal semester partying with sweaty barely there adults?" I asked, sorting through the pile of clothes on Isra's bed.

"You just basically describes college life in general," she retorted, throwing a black low-cut dress into my lap. "Wear this."

I glanced at the dress and almost balked. It was the same dress I wore last spring to that godforsaken party. "Not a chance in hell."

She looked up and noticed what dress she picked out. "Oh come on. Don't be superstitious. Just because one bad thing happened in the dress doesn't mean anything. You looked hot in it last year."

"Isra—"

"Come on, please. If you're not enjoying the party, then we can leave and I'll never force you to another party ever again."

"Deal," I instantly said. I loved parties, but I hated being forced to attend one.

"Yay!" She clapped as she found an outfit quickly after that. "Now go do whatever it as you were doing before."

"That's it?" I made a face, because I could've been halfway across campus to work already. "You called me just to decide what we're wearing?"

"Uh, yeah. I was not about to frantically look an hour before the party and look a mess." Her eyes darted around the room, and I knew she was lying.

"We'll talk more when I get back," I promised her, narrowing my eyes.

I had to run now to get over to the bookstore, and I was out of breath by the time I sat at the counter.

"Hey, Cash," Travis said, smiling at me as he finished counted the change in the register.

"You fucked Liam?" I said a little too loudly, and he slammed his hand in the drawer.

"Shit!" He yelled, shaking his hand out. "Thanks for that!"

"Sorry, not sorry." I picked up a towel we always kept by the register and started to hit him with it. "How could you not tell me you guys fucked when I set you up in the first place?!"

"Jesus, it wasn't even that serious," he said, slapping the towel out of my hand. "It was a one time thing."

"Then how come he asked for me to tell you to text him?"

"He said that?" Travis' eyes widened, and a small smile lit up his face. "No kidding."

"Y'all cute or whatever," I said in response, smiling at how happy he looked.

"Shut up," he mumbled before looking back at me. "What about you and Zayn? What's good with that?"

"We've been doing okay," I admitted, shrugging my shoulders. "Like everything used to be about sex, but I really, really like him. I feel as if I'm going to fuck everything up though."

"It gets like that sometimes," Travis said, spinning in his chair so he could completely face me. "There's always rocky roads in relationships, but whether you choose to pave them is up to us both."

"There you go again philosophy minor," I said with a laugh. "You sound so profound sometimes, it's actually funny."

He shrugged and sent me a smile. "What can I say? I'm the black Plato out in these streets."

"The streets of Massachusetts?" I asked with a laugh. "Get your ass outta here."

--

I really didn't like large parties.

They always tripped me out, and I never liked to feel off balanced willingly. I was already on my second cup of whiskey and I was starting to get a little tipsy.

The music they were playing was that nasty fist pumping white people music, so I was just vibing in the corner by myself. Isra disappeared as soon as we stepped foot inside the house, but I wasn't even looking for her.

Most of the football team was here since the party was in honor of them, but I couldn't see Zayn with anyone else.

"Um, hi." I felt a tap on my shoulder, and I turned around to see a pretty brunette girl with a cup in her hands. I remembered her from somewhere, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

"Hello...?" I couldn't remember her name for the life of me!

"You probably don't remember me, but we met in the bookstore like two months ago. My name's Davina." Oh right!

"Hi!" I said, smiling at her. "How are you? Did you make new friends that aren't racist pieces of shit?"

She laughed. "Yeah. Turns out, once you drop your friend who no one really likes, people will start to talk to you."

"Who knew?" I replied with a laugh. "Enjoy the party, sweetheart."

"Thank you." She blended back into the crowd and I still had a smile lingering in my face.

But that smile died in an instant when I saw Zayn and Jasmine across the room, arguing. They were yelling but since the house was so loud, I couldn't catch what they were saying. All of a sudden, she started to flip out and hit him in his face, which caused him to grab her wrists and basically drag her through the backyard.

I know my ass should've stayed put and not been nosy, but I had to see if everything was okay. Pushing my way through the crowd, I opened up the back door and heard Zayn and Jasmine yelling.

"...can't be mine, you fucking liar!" He yelled, his hair in between his fingers. "I haven't even had sex with you in three months!"

"Oh but you did."

"I don't believe you," he said, shaking his head. "I tell your dad yesterday that I want to go into the draft and suddenly you're pregnant? I didn't even fuck you for you to be five weeks along!"

"Third week of October, Zayn, when you played Clemson. You might have been high and called me 'Cash', but you still stuck your dick in me with no condom."

My heart dropped and I couldn't breathe. "Oh my god."

Zayn's head snapped towards me, and his eyes widened. "Shit, Cash—"

I shook my head feverishly. "Hell no. Hell fucking no!"

I couldn't do this. Absolutely not. I didn't want to think about anything. I didn't want to think at all. I went back into the house, and picked up the first bottle of Jack Daniels I could find and proceeded to chug it down.

"Cash?" Isra tried to stop me from finishing the whole bottle, but it was too late. "Jesus Christ, what happened?"

"Jasmine is saying Zayn got her pregnant." I tried to say it aloud without crying.

"Oh shit," she said, shaking her head. "You're gonna need all the drinks you could get."

"Bring me another bottle, and maybe a blunt," I said, filling a red cup with beer from a keg. "I don't even want to remember today."

--

There was a shrill noise in my mind that woke me up, and I was kind of wishing I didn't because of the piercing pain in my head.

I couldn't feel my scalp, and I was pretty sure that I was still in the same dress from yesterday.

How did I even get here?

I checked my bedside table for my phone but felt a slip of paper instead. I picked it up.

I had to drag your drunk ass from the frat house all the way here with no help. Don't think this makes us friends though.

-Liam

I smiled slightly before I plugged my phone into the charger. When it finally showed signs of life, I scrolled through my messages.

Dozens of texts from Isra and Zayn flooded into my phone, and even though I wanted to forget so badly, I remembered why I got so drunk.

Zayn got Jasmine pregnant.

My head spun and I ran to the bathroom to throw up the contents of my stomach. The room felt like it was tilting on an axis, and nothing I did could stop it.

"Fuck," I groaned, clutching my pounding head. "I hate drinking."

When I could finally peel myself off the tiled floor, I crawled over to my phone to actually read the texts that were sent to me last night.

isroach: are you alright?
isroach: text me back if you're ok
isroach: ANSWER THE GODDAMN PHONE
isroach: liam told me he took you back to your dorm
isroach: i'm going home with a guy from the football team but i hope you're ok

I didn't even want to read the texts from Zayn, because I didn't even know what to say in response. The third week in October was the week before he said "I want to do better for you" but we've been going back and forth since September.

Sighing, I realized that I smelled like a bar. Once I took a shower, I'd be able to think clearly and figure everything out. When I was dressed and headed outside my building, my name was called and it was Zayn.

His mouth was set in a line, which made me raise my eyebrow. Wasn't I the one whose supposed to be mad?

"Can I help you?" I asked, glancing at him. I wasn't sure why he looked pressed.

"I understand what I did was wrong, but did you really think this was the way to get back at me?" He said, shaking his head.

"What?" I asked, confused. My head was still pounding to the beat of my heart, and I couldn't even differentiate between the two.

"You talk about Jasmine being manipulative but you basically do the same thing." He laughed but there was nothing funny about it. "I should've listen to everyone who told me to stay away from you. That you were only going to fuck with my head. Guess what, you succeeded."

"Zayn, what the hell are you talking about?" I almost screamed out of frustration. He was dancing around with his words and my hangover wasn't helping at all. I tried to reach out for his arm but he snatched himself away.

"Don't fucking touch me," he spat, giving me the dirtiest look I've ever seen. "And you'll find out soon enough, since you wanted to be famous so bad."

He turned and walked away but not before saying: "I'm glad I knocked up Jasmine, because it's better to fuck with the devil you know than the angel you don't."

I watched him walk across the field, opting not to go after him. I've never been so baffled in my life.

What the hell is happening?

A group of people walked by me laughing as they pointed at me. "Fucking whore."

I gasped, before turning back into my dorm. Before I could open the door, an arm grabbed mine.

"Cash." I knew it was Harry before I had turn around.

"What do you want?"

"The video from last spring is all around the basketball team and the football team. I don't know who sent it around, but it's out there."

"Oh my god," I murmured, before falling against the glass door or my building.

-----
a/n: double update because it's the holiday season and I cannot wait to set this story in MOTION.

do not worry, all (mostly all) will be explained next chapter if everything seems confusing.

but happy holidays and a happy new year! see y'all in 2017! :)

-rachel