pass (or fail)

five days later

I was sitting in my class with Diego, and I was playing a game on my phone. I didn't really have to pay attention anymore, considering that the professor hasn't changed his final in six years.

When I was trying to aim my last shot before I leveled up, Diego shook my arm and caused me to shoot accidentally.

"The fuck?" I muttered, as I lost a life in the game. "That was my last life, you dickhead!"

He rolled his eyes. "You never gave me a play by play of thanksgiving."

"And we couldn't do that without you ruining my game?"

He sighed before tugging on the sleeve of my bomber jacket. "How about lunch off campus? I'll pay."

"Okay." I wasn't passing down free food ever. Being broke does that to you.

--

We were situated in a small diner a couple blocks away from campus. Woburn wasn't very exciting unless NAU was hosting an event, and most of the action was in Boston, which was twenty minutes away.

Picking up a menu, I scanned the items and easily decided on a California burger with a coke. It was probably going to be shit, considering the fact that this was a mom and pop diner, and they've most likely never even been on the West Coast. But there's a first time for everything, right?

Diego ordered a deli sandwich, and I almost wanted to blurt out that no  sandwich shop in any other state beats a bodega in New York, but I kept that to myself. After all, he's lived in Massachusetts all his life.

"So..." he started, taking a sip of his water from the table. "What went down?"

I laughed before playing with the salt and pepper shakers. "You sound like a gossiping housewife. But it went great, except for the part where my dad was being a xenophobic piece of shit."

"Yikes," Diego said with a sharp intake of breath. "You didn't say he was that bad."

One of the shakers tipped over as I shrugged, and the salt grains spilled on the table. "He's known to be worse, but it's okay."

I didn't want to talk about my father anymore, so I cleared my throat and changed the subject. "How was the Fordham game? Sorry I couldn't go, I had to get back on campus for work."

The waitress set the food on the table, and immediately my mouth watered. It probably wasn't the best California burger there ever was, but the smell was making me reconsider.

"We won, as expected." He smirked and picked up his sandwich. "New York area teams are trash."

My jaw dropped, and I placed my elbows on the table. "Say word."

His eyebrows furrowed. "What does that mean?"

I sighed and shook my head. "Forget it. But we're not that bad. We got Odell Beckham Jr's fine ass on the Giants."

Diego rolled his eyes and sat up straighter which caused me to laugh. "He's not even that good looking. I could give him a run for his money."

"Y'all are like close equals but not quite there," I managed to get out through my laughs.

"So who is better looking: me or OBJ?"

My eyebrows raised at his question. It felt like the mood had changed just like that time in class before.

I'm not dense, I can obviously tell that Diego liked me in some sort of way. But what was I supposed to do about it? I was dating his best friend.

"Definitely OBJ. His body and the tattoos? He was crafted by God's hands himself." I pretended to swoon and he threw a French fry at me, which got me laughing all over again.

I didn't miss the slight look of disappointment in his eyes when I answered, though.

--

After my lunch with Diego, I was walking back across campus to my dorm when I got a call from Adonis.

"I'm on your campus, sis!" He said when I picked up. "Meet me at the North atrium."

My heart dropped. "Y-you're here? Now?"

He laughed, which made me assume he was joking until he said: "yeah, come link with me. I just finished all my transfer documents."

"I'll be there in a few," I said, before hanging up.

I couldn't believe my brother was actually on campus to join the team that almost ruined my life. I knew it was my fault I didn't say anything before, but I didn't want to.

I even told my mom to keep it to herself, and she told me eventually the truth was going to come to light, which was probably true. But I was hoping the team lived up to their non-disclosure agreement and said nothing to him.

Before I knew it, I was in front of the atrium. I haven't been in here since last year and it felt so strange to stand here after everything.

"Cash?" I heard my name called, and I turned around to see Harry, my ex.

"Oh my god, hi," I greeted with a forced smile. It's not as if we had the worst breakup in the entire world, but he reminded me of last spring.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, but it wasn't in defense. It was out of curiosity.

"Um, my brother is transferring here for basketball," I explained, following him inside as he held the door open for me.

"Are you serious? Adonis Rawlings?" He said in disbelief, his eye wide. "We might actually have a winning team this year."

"How do you know about him?"

"He was one of the best high school players a couple of years ago, and he still is, even though he's on a D3 team," he said as we walked onto the court. "Plus we met before at your house, remember?"

My brother was chatting it up with other members of the team before he spotted me and sent a bright smile my way. "I can't believe I didn't want to come here at one point. Wassup, sis?" He engulfed me in a hug, before pulling away.

"Hi," I greeted, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Justice and Louis standing near the bleachers, staring at us.

"Is there a problem?" I yelled in their direction. I might be a little fearful of them, but I wasn't about to let them know that. "Because y'all are staring at me like there's about to be one."

Louis just raised his eyebrow and simply placed a hand on Justice's shoulder when it looked like he was going to say something. He tensed his jaw while Louis just smirked.

I focused back on Adonis and Harry, who were looking at me funny. Adonis was confused, while on the other hand, Harry looked shocked.

"What the hell is going on?" Adonis asked, clearly baffled by everything happening. "And why the fuck are you so buddy buddy with the nigga who did you dirt that you cried to me drunk about?"

"Shut up," I muttered to him, before turning to leave. I knew I shouldn't have come here. Wounds are reopened anytime I fiddle with the past, and my brother was unintentionally ripping the bandages off.

I was halfway across the courtyard when Adonis grabbed my arm. "Cash—"

"Listen up," I spat harshly, yanking myself out of his grasp. "You're here to play basketball, not poke into my life. So just do that and stop worrying about me."

He shook his head. "What the hell happened to us? Before you started going here and dating these bumass dudes, you used to tell me everything. You're the only other person I thought I could trust, but since you can't even do the same, I guess I'm gonna have to find someone else."

"Don—" he cut me off by walking back towards the gymnasium, not wanting to hear it any longer.

My head was spinning, and I must've not been in my right mind because I didn't even know when I ended up at Zayn's doorstep.

I raised my hand to knock but the door was already opening. Liam was on his way out, and he walked right into me.

"Shit, sorry Cashmere," he apologized, steadying me before taking a closer look at my face. "Are you crying? Oh god, which one of them fucked you up?"

"What do you mean 'which one'?" I asked, slightly confused before quickly understand and rolling my eyes. "You're so dumb. And Zayn didn't do anything."

"Then why are tears in your eyes?"

I sighed. "My brother is on campus, and I made him upset."

He tilted his head to the side. "Why is he even here?"

"Damn, it's like fifty fucking questions with you," I said, starting to get defensive as I wiped my eyes. "But he's transferring here for basketball for the spring semester."

"Are you fucking serious?" He said, his eyes bugging out of his head.

"Yes, why the panic?"

"I gotta go," he said, brushing past me to head out. "Zayn's probably waking up right now."

I yelled for Liam to wait, but he just kept walking down the hallway. With a sigh, I pushed the door open and made my way to Zayn's room.

"...don't want to wait until next year when I could do it now," Zayn's voice was floated through the dorm, and I cracked the door open to see him sitting on the bed.

"Hi," I said, smiling at him. He smiled back and patted the spot in the bed next to him and pulled me close as I sat down.

"Why can't I go in this year? They want me more now than they would next year."

He took a pause to listen to the other person before sucking his teeth and hanging up the phone.

"What happened?" I asked, leaning into his side.

"I'm trying to go into the draft at the end of the school year," he said, placing his phone down on the bedside table. Then he noticed my eyes were red and he instantly sat up. "What's wrong, babe?"

"Nothing." I smiled and urged him to continue. He didn't have to get tangled into this.

"Seriously, what's up? You look like you cried," he pushed the issue, so I just sighed.

"My brother is on campus right now trying to transfer," I admitted, and Zayn started to stroke the top of my head in a soothing manner.

"So why is that so bad?" He asked, and his fingers worked their way into my scalp.

"Mad shit has been going on with that team. I don't want my brother to be mixed in with it but he wants to play ball. I can't stand in the way of his dream."

He was going to say something in response but his phone rang. He looked at the caller ID and cursed before putting it back down.

A few moments later, it rang again. "Just pick it up. I don't want to hear that ugly ass marimba sound another time."

He sighed before picking it up. "What the hell do you want?"

I could faintly hear the high pitched breathy voice in the background, and I instantly knew it was Jasmine. I rolled my eyes, and sat up.

"I'll talk to you later, I have to get to work," I lied, well partially. Work didn't start for another two hours, but that was two hours I didn't have to spend with him speaking to Jasmine on the phone.

"Cash, stop it," he said, trying to pull me back down. Her voice was getting louder to the point where I could make out words if I actually cared to listen closely. "Shut the fuck up, Jasmine."

I didn't want to hear all this, especially with everything else going on. I know he probably had a reasonable expiation, but I just didn't want to listen right now.

Walking through the doorway, I numbly walked into the hallway and I could hear Zayn's footsteps and my name behind me but I ignored them until he had to physically spin me around.

"What the hell is going on, Cashmere?" Wow, it was the first time he used my full name, so I knew he was being serious. "I know you're not like this just because your brother showed up. What is eating you?"

"It's nothing, Zayn. Just drop it." I was tired of having to repeat myself time after time. I didn't want to talk about it, so why was I being forced to?

"Why do you think you can just push me away when I'm trying to know more about you?" He yelled, gripping his hair in his hands. "You've been so closed off from the start, and I don't even know what's going on with you half the time."

"Me?" I asked in disbelief. "Zayn, the first month I met you, you were still fucking around with the same girl you just hung the phone up on. Excuse me if I'm a little skeptical."

"This isn't even about Jasmine," he replied, looking directly at me. "This is about you and I. I promise you, I haven't been near her since we started going out. I would never disrespect you like that. But apparently you love disrespecting me."

"How do I disrespect you?"

"You'd rather tell Diego, or even fucking Liam more shit that goes on in your life than me!" He was fed up and frustrated, and now I regretted previously trying to defer the conversation. "Cash, it's either you start telling me things or I can't do this."

"W-what?" I stammered, taking a step back. Things were going from bad to worse, no matter what I said.

"I don't want to force you to do anything you don't want, but it feels horrible when you have to hear your best friend tell you things you don't even know about your girlfriend," he said, shaking his head.

"Zayn, I'm sorry about everything, okay? I promise to be honest with you from now on, but my past is shaky and I don't want to reopen old wounds by having to repeat things. Please just understand."

He sighed before cradling the sides of my neck and kissing the top of my head. "Just please, no more secrets."

I rolled my lips into my mouth, knowing a lie was about to come out. "I promise."