Everything just felt so real. I should have known that this dream wasn't real, but the circumstances of it were just so real and I didn't like it. It felt like someone invented a time machine and threw me back into that unfortunate day for the sole purpose of making me suffer and to tear my emotions to shreds.

I was studying for a biology exam, and the next thing I knew, my phone goes off, with the sharp sound of my ringtone flying through the air like a deranged bird. After getting startled a little bit, I picked it up and was greeted by the sound of Sandhya Aunty's frantic voice. Worry and pure fear was wrapped around it, and squeezing the life out of it so that I could get the sheer terror of the situation.

It was like the adrenaline that was used to kickstart my legs into running to my motorcycle and driving there as fast I could. I knew that if the worst was going to happen, then it was going to change our lives forever. In this case, it was going to end Manish's.

I ran down the halls, trying to look for either Sandhya Aunty or Rajiv Uncle, or any sort of sign that Manish was there, and not dead. The hospital felt like I was in heaven, with all the white walls, and the white clothing, but the situation felt like I was catapulted straight into hell. My heart felt like it was doing a triathlon, while on one leg. I just felt so many different waves of panic that it felt like I was on the beach of bad emotions, with the sands of sadness rubbing against my feet.

Eventually, I saw a worried Sandhya Aunty standing there, with her hands in her face, looking like she just saw an embarrassing picture of her on Facebook from ten years ago. I looked at her, and then straight at the bed in which Manish was lying. I had a hard time absorbing the news that Sandhya Aunty told me over the phone, but when I saw him lying in the bed, it hit me like a train hitting a car. My legs felt like Jell-O, and I was afraid if I were to start walking, I'd collapse into a mess of worry and shock.

I gulped largely, and then slowly inched towards the bed. I could feel Sandhya Aunty's worried gaze burn into me, even though I felt so cold at that moment. I knelt down to get a better look at his condition in the hospital.

When I knelt down, I saw so many tubes coming out of him. IVs, medication, dialysis, and everything under the sun was inserted into him. I glanced at the heart rate monitor, and was just hoping that it wouldn't go flat. Beep, beep, beep, it went, and I just blankly stared at the monitor. I glanced back at Sunny, with the weight on my chest slowly lifting at the fact that his chest was moving up and down. His oxygen mask was starting to get slightly fogged up from all the breathing.

I looked back at Sandhya Aunty once more, who wiped a single tear that was running down from her eye. I exhaled a little bit, and then looked back at Manish. His hand was on the bed, looking so limp, but I was in need of something to hold as I started to die a little bit inside. I took his hand, and held it close to me as I inhaled and exhaled heavily.

My eyes were starting to water, as the reality of the situation was starting to hold me by the neck. Manish could die any second right now, and there was almost nothing that I could do about it. His kidneys could fail again, he could go into cardiac arrest, he could be brain dead. There were so many possibilities that were staring at us right in the face, and at least one of them could happen right now, when I don't want it.

As I was contemplating all the different things that I didn't want to happen to Sunny, I heard a familiarly dreadful long beep. I looked over, and on the heart rate monitor, there was a long line instead of the sharp, jagged lines indicating his heart beat. That only meant one thing.

It meant that my worst fear had come true at that moment.

My jaw fell open in pure shock, and I looked back at Sandhya Aunty. She took her hands once more and buried her face into them. This time, the soft sobs that were escaping from them were like daggers being thrown at my heart. I looked back at Manish's lifeless body, and realized that my sunshine was no longer with me.

I wouldn't be able to see his bright smile, or look forward to his angelic voice singing me Atif Aslam songs. I wouldn't be able to help him cook and then almost burn the kitchen down while he just giggled at me. All of that was gone. All of those good memories were gone.

The tears that were building up in my eyes slowly started to dribble down my face, as I realized what my life had become without my sunshine right by my side.

"Sunny, no," I murmured in my sleep, as I tossed and turned in my bed. I shot up, out of bed, with my mind very broken and confused. I felt the soft fabric of the sheets, and looked at the color accents of my room, which is where I learned that I wasn't in the hospital.

I wasn't kneeling beside Manish's lifeless body, praying that he would wake up and he wasn't dead. But, was he actually fine? How would I know that he was still alive and not in the hospital, dying of kidney failure? I needed to hear his voice once more. I needed to know that he was fine. I hugged the pillow closer to me, and grabbed my phone from my bedside. I had taken a nap for a headache, yet it seemed as if the pain was no longer in my head.

My heart felt like someone had thrown it into the pits of my stomach. The dream was scarier than any horror movie I've ever seen in my life, because of the fact that it had the likelihood of happening in real life.

Anything could happen at any second, and the next thing you know, I would be kneeling at Manish's bedside, sobbing over his lifeless body. I just wanted to know that he was okay, because I didn't want anything happening to him. I just needed to hear his voice once and to know that he was okay. I dialed his number, with my fingers still shaking, and pressed the phone to my ear. I took deep breaths in an attempt to calm myself so that I wouldn't go insane and end up losing my shit.

Eventually, I heard the line click, and then Manish's kind voice said, "Hey, Jaya, what's up?"

I let out a sigh of relief, as I could tell that he probably wasn't dying at that moment. But just to make sure that everything was okay, I asked, "Manish, are you okay?"

I could almost feel him raise an eyebrow over the line, and he said, "Yeah, I'm fine. Everything's okay. Jaya, what's wrong? You're acting weird."

I shook my head, after letting out another sigh of relief knowing that he was okay. I wiped the wetness that was starting to form in my eyes. "No, it's just that I had a really bad dream. I took a nap for my headache, and I had a really scary dream about you, so I just wanted to call and see if everything was okay. I just needed to hear your voice and make sure you were okay after that dream."

Without missing a beat, he asked, "Was it about my kidneys failing again?" Damn it, Manish. He always knew what my dreams were about, especially if it was an awful or really scary dream. I sniffed a little bit, and then nodded.

Manish could almost feel me nod and sensed that I was about to have a nervous breakdown any second now, so he said, "Jaya, I'm fine, okay? Don't worry. I will be fine. You have nothing to worry about. I've been taking my medication, I've been going to the doctor. Everything is fine."

I let out a sigh, and then said, "Yeah, but what if it isn't fine, Sunny? What if you pass out right now because your medications haven't been working? What if your kidneys fail when you move away?" I was extremely frantic right now, because I was imagining the worst when it comes to Manish's health.

Considering the worst happened 5 years ago, I was spooked that what happened 5 years ago will happen once again. Because it came so suddenly, and the fact that my dream was so close to what happened 5 years ago - minus the death - just scared the shit out of me. "Jaya, I will be careful. I will take my medicine and make sure that I never miss one dose. I promise you, I will be okay. Now, how about you try to get some rest for that headache, Plush-wini?"

I snickered and rolled my eyes at the silly nickname that he gave me. After seeing me on a regular basis, he couldn't get over my attachment to plush toys, stuffed animals and how comforting they were, so he gave me that silly nickname. "Fine, I will try. I'll catch you later, okay?"

"Definitely. Coffee this weekend?"

"Absolutely. Bye."

"Bye, Plush-wini." I rolled my eyes once more, and then flopped back onto my bed. My headache wasn't completely gone still, but the pain that I once had from my headache had already travelled to my heart.

I still wasn't completely fine after the dream, and I knew that Manish could sense it over the phone. Truth be told, I wasn't sure whether or not I could get some more sleep after that horrible dream. But, my fears were overcome as I was able to fall back asleep.

*********

I slowly came to with the feeling of warmth around me. It was a strange kind of warmth. It was the kind where you wanted to stay bundled up with until you couldn't anymore and then you'd end up feeling whole.

My eyelids slowly lifted themselves up, and then my heart relaxed at the sight in front of me. Manish was kneeling right beside my bed, with a hand on my shoulder, giving me a warm smile. I sat up fully, and then rubbed whatever sleep was in my eyes.

Manish sat on my bedside, and then I looked at him with a grateful look. I felt one of his arms slide around my backside, and without another moment's hesitation, I gently slid my arms around him in a tight hug. Manish hugged me back, like a comfy bear hugging somebody else. I was just so relieved that he was here, and not dying in a hospital bed.

Hearing his voice brought me semi comfort, but actually hugging this big bear was just so satisfying and comforting. All the while, he was whispering, "I'm okay. I'm right here."

I smiled to myself, and then he let me go from the hug. "So, uh, you watching me sleep isn't creepy at all?" I asked to break the surface with a little bit of humor.

Manish giggled, and said, "I didn't watch you for long. I knelt down, and then I saw how cute you looked sleeping, and how worried you were earlier today, so I had to hug you. I was literally about to go down and wait with your mom, but you woke up."

I smiled, and then Manish just got up from the bed. "Do you want a milkshake? I brought ice cream."

"Ooh, cold milk along with sweet ice cream with a shit ton of whipped cream is the exact kind of treat that I need right now," I think to myself. "Hell yes."

He smiled, and then I got out of the bed to have some of his awesome food. "I got coffee ice cream. Your favorite." I smiled yet again to myself.

I never thought that Manish would make milkshakes more appealing than they already are.