Chapter 36

"I have something to tell you all," Bea said, standing in front of her friends all sitting somewhere in the sixth-year boy's dormitory. She wanted some privacy to tell her friends, something she wouldn't get in the common room of her house, or her friends and so James had said to do it there.

Sirius and Remus were lying on Remus' bed which was apparently comfier in the words of Sirius cuddled up to his boyfriend's side, his hand tightly clutched in the older Lupin's because his hands were always much warmer, and it was better for Sirius who seemed to always be cold.

Lily was between Violet and Beau on Sirius bed, with her legs sprawled over Beau's and leaning into Violet who had wrapped her arm around the girl whilst she leaned into Bertie behind her, all four of them trying to get as much space as possible.

Peter was sitting at the edge of his bed with James lying at the top watching Bea with a grin - he was very much proud of her, and she was happy that she was finally doing it. She knew she didn't need to do it, it would always be her business and her choice, but she thought that her friends, especially one of them, had the right to know.

"I know a few of you already know - but that's not because I love anyone more than someone else. I love you all the same, but it just came up that I told them...I've wondered how I could tell you all for a while actually.

I just...Vi," she took a deep breath, "I didn't want you getting your hopes up."

Violet frowned, her head tilted, and a look written as confusion taking over her features, "wha- Bea are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm great...I'm more than great as moods go but," she took a deep breath, "a few months ago I realised something...I realised that I'm more than happy with James - extremely happy and he has been so supportive, and I love it.

But I know that had I not been with James...then - then it would have been very easy for me to fall for you Violet," she sighed, and she saw Violet's expression change from confusion to disbelief, "you were my first crush back in second year and I got over it and I'm not telling you this to hurt you.

I'm not because you know how I feel about James, but I need you to know the full truth of everything. I got over you, and I know for a fact that you can get over me - you are getting over me! didn't you go on a date with Ellie Chase?"

"Yeah..." she whispered, nodding soon after. She didn't know what to say, how to react to what Bea had just practically admitted, "so...you're-"

"I'm bisexual. James was the first person I told - and then Beau found out because of...something and I told Bertie, too, because he trusted me enough to be the first to tell of him being gay, and I trust him with my life. I realised that I loved you, Vi, but not in the way you want. You know that you've always known I love you.

You're my soulmate in this world no matter what," she took a deep breath, "and you will always be my soulmate. I love you, and if you're not fully over me then fine - that's fine, I just don't want you hurt.

I hate that you're hurting. It kills me," she frowned, "it kills me more that I can't do anything about it but I'll try."

"Bea," Violet took a deep breath, finally smiling - though it wasn't forced, "this year...for months I wondered how I could get over you and what I could do. I was pushing the thought of you away, of what I loved about you and why I loved you.

It made me worse.

But then I realised I didn't want to get over you...I just wanted to be the one that made you happy, but I realised even more that it's James that would always make you happier. When I finally realised that it was when I could see you more as my best friend again, that I didn't feel sad - or jealous...or like I needed to prove that I could be better for you.

You're my best friend, you're my soul mate and when you leave James when you're forty-"

"Wait, what?!" James exclaimed but Bea merely laughed, tears spilling and her head nodding.

"Then we will get married," Violet didn't respond to James, but she sent him a cheeky smirk, "I hate for this to sound rude but I'm over you in that way. What I'm not over is how much I love you because I always will, you're my everything in this world and you were there for me when I had nothing.

You were there for me in second year...Bea, and you didn't even realise. You knew I was different - my mood had changed, and I snapped at you more than anyone and you stayed, you stayed with me and you didn't think anything of it.

When someone asked you why you stayed with me...you said because I was your Vi and you were my Bebe and regardless of moods, we stick together. We always will, and silly feelings aren't going to change that.

It was something I dealt with, and you did help, Bea because you made me see that regardless of liking you or not I'd still have you in my life and I think mostly that was what I was worried about," Violet finished with a deep breath, and she stood up soon after.

Bea, as she stood up, smiled, and she pushed herself forward - throwing her arms around Violet so tightly that she stumbled back, only caught when Bertie pushed himself forward to catch the two who couldn't stop her laughter.

"And besides," Violet said, grabbing onto Bertie with a grin, "we have decided that after Peter's departure from the forever alone club that we are going to get married until you're forty."

"Wha- I want to marry Bertie!" Bea frowned, "also Peter isn't technically out of the alone club yet-"

"Hey!" Peter exclaimed, "I'll have you know that Isla smiled at me!"

"Merlin, Peter!" Beau gasped, "when is the baby due?!"

Bea snorted, moving over to ruffle Peter's hair, "you all don't seem so surprised about what I said."

"Well," Remus said, a smile on his lips, "we're proud of you for telling us - happy for telling us but it's you mostly you that we care about. If you like boys...girls - anyone! It's your choice and no matter what...we're always here for you regardless."

"Exactly!" Sirius said, "it also means there's one more member of the bisexual club - me and Vi were thinking about making t-shirts."

"Please count me in," Bea grinned, falling onto Peter's bed beside James who wrapped his arm around her tightly.

❁

Parchment was everywhere.

The sixth-year Gryffindor boys dormitory was a mess and amongst it was a pacing Bea freaking out so much that the only thing the boys could hear was the sound of her voice ringing through their ears so high pitched that Peter was sure a migraine was coming on.

"Bea!" Remus exclaimed, pinching the bridge of his nose, "calm down!"

She stopped, turning to him with a glare and from beside him with a book on his knees, Sirius suggested that he run as fast as he could, "Remus John Lupin you cannot just tell me to calm down! Calm down? Calm down?! I am fucking calm!"

"Bea," Remus trailed off slowly after nudging Sirius, "take a deep breath."

"The most important exam in my entire life is happening in a few weeks, Remus!" she screeched, her arms flailing and soon grabbing a pillow from James' bed and launching it at him, "don't tell me to calm down!"

"Bumble," James said softly, "look I know you're stressed out but you're getting yourself even more worked up by shouting...come sit. Come take a break or you're going to feel worse."

She frowned, "I'm going to fail it. I'm going to fail this exam and that's it - I'm done. I'm never going to become a herbologist. I'm never going to do this!"

"We all know that's not true," Peter frowned, "Bea you are the most incredible person - you know everything about plants and flowers and anything to do with herbology. You're going to become an incredible herbologist! Your discoveries will stay with you forever and you know what? You're going to have so many books about it that they'll be used in Hogwarts curriculum."

"...you think?" none of the boys realised she had been crying from the stress of it all until she sniffed and wiped away the few tears that had spilt.

"Bea, I know!" Peter exclaimed, "you're my best friend in the whole world along with these idiots and we all know how smart you are. You're gonna be the most well-known herbologist this world has ever seen and if you want proof then I'll go find a time turner."

She smiled, and she allowed James to pull her onto the bed with him, taking a deep breath, "I'm sorry for getting all mad."

"It's okay, Bea," Remus laughed, waving her off and she nodded silently.

"I am a terrible girlfriend," she mumbled quietly, cuddling into a frowning James.

"That's impossible, Bea," he said, intertwining their hands, "you're the most incredible girlfriend ever."

"You have a Quidditch game tomorrow," she said, "and you get nervous before them and I've done nothing to calm you down."

He laughed softly, "Bea I'm fine. The Quidditch game is important but the team has been practising for weeks and weeks. If you want to calm me down, then we can worry about that tomorrow...but will you be there?"

"Wha- of course, I'll be there!" she exclaimed, "I know I...missed a few games but I'll be there. I'll be right beside you the entire time."

"Then let's focus on this." He pulled her in to him so that she was between her legs and with the help of the boys, he started gathering up all of the parchment on the bed whilst they worked around the room - and finally when it was stacked into a perfect pile did Remus pull out his wand and bind each piece together to make a sort of book.

"Look at that, Bea," Peter smirked, leaning against the bed, "your first book."

She laughed softly, taking it from Remus and placing it on the bed. it was much more organised, and she knew it would make it easier to study, and she also knew she was getting herself worked up for no reasons.

But she was just so scared to not have everything she worked so hard for. It was rather amusing in a small way that all of her friends knew exactly what she wanted to do but it was just because she had talked about it so much and she knew her plan in life would never change.

She loved plants, she loved herbology and flowers and she wanted to travel the world - she wanted to see everything and write books and become successful in life. She wanted to do everything she could, she wanted to be well known - for her books to be in the Hogwarts curriculum and make a career that she knew she would enjoy every second of.

It was so important to her, more important than anything else she could think of because it would contribute to her life and she thought it would be gone. She had given up just last year...thinking she wouldn't have a life or a future to think of and now that she did, she was determined not to let it slip away from her.

James pressed his lips to her temple, mumbling that she would take the exam by storm - that she would pass with flying colours and she smiled, "you think so highly of me."

James snorted, moving his head to meet her lips whilst the boys all groaned and as he ignored him, he whispered, "I think I don't think highly enough."

"Well, I think that's impossible!"

"I think you two should get a new room," Sirius grumbled, falling onto Remus' bed.

"I think you should piss off!" Bea huffed, grabbing her makeshift book and pretending to throw it at him.