Chapter 34

"What's that you got there, Beau?" asked Bea as she entered the Gryffindor common room. She was waiting for Lily considering they were thinking about going to Hogsmeade for the day. Violet and Bertie where off doing something, most likely finding someone for Bertie to 'hook up with' which was a less detailed version of what they were talking about at dinner last night and at that same dinner did Bea tell Lily about how much she missed butterbeer.

So of course, Lily planned their full Saturday.

"Mistletoe."

Bea frowned, taking a step back from him and clocking Lily walking down the stair, "...It's March."

"I found it on the floor, it must have been forgotten from that Christmas party," he snorted.

"Well, I'm certainly not going to kiss y-"

She cut herself off when she watched Lily lean over the couch, pressing a sloppy kiss to Beau's cheek and soon winking at him, "can't break a Christmas tradition, can we?"

"It's march!" Bea exclaimed, "you know if this was just a plan for you two to snog then I'll leave...just give me a heads up!"

"Oh, shut up," Lily said, rolling her eyes and ruffling Beau's hair who looked entirely dazed as he turned to watch the two, "It was a kiss on the cheek."

"Well I don't think Beau would be too opposed to one on the mouth," Bea smirked, winking at Beau who soon flipped her off. Though the blush perfectly spread across his cheek that matched the colour of Lily's hair said that he definitely wouldn't be opposed.

Lily shrugged, turning to walk out and with a ruffle of her hair, she spoke, "neither would I."

Bea wolf whistled at Lily walking out of the portrait hole, eyes turning back to Beau whose eyes had widened so much, Bea was sure that they would fall out of his head, "goodbye, Beau. Think of Lily!"

"Uh huh."

Bea giggled how dazed he look, turning to exit the portrait hole to see Lily looking like she was ready to throw up, "Lils, what's wrong?!"

"I can't believe I just...I just did that - I just kissed him!" she squeaked out, hands running over her face as she almost stumbled over her legs and Bea jerked her hand out to catch her, trying her best to stop the amused look on her face, "I just...good Godric was I embarrassing - please just tell me?!"

Bea giggled, "Lily it was adorable!"

"It was?!" she asked, wide-eyed, "are you sure? Did he look disgusted?!"

"Disgu- Lily!" Bea exclaimed, "he looked like he had just been struck with a love potion, are you serious?!"

"...Really?"

"Yes! Though I didn't know you went for the younger ones," Bea winked, earning a hard push from the girl behind her whose cheeks painted red.

"He's the same age!" she exclaimed, "he's younger by a few months."

"Yes, nine!" Bea giggled, "I didn't know you two were a thing if I'm being honest. Course that's because I've not been the most observant person, but I mean I thought I'd at least see my two best friends fucking-"

"We are not fucking, Bea!" Lily screeched, earning way too many stares to keep her from getting embarrassed, "he's just my friend."

"Friend that you just admitted to wanting to kiss," Bea nudged her with an overdramatic wink, "you could be fucki-"

"You're turning into him," Lily said, wagging her finger, "he has influenced you to swear!"

Bea couldn't help her giggles at how worked up Lily was getting, it was hilarious to say the least and she moved to throw her arms around her, "can I help you two get together?!"

"Wha- Bea!"

"What?! It'll be fun!" she grinned, "didn't you two go to Hogsmeade?"

"Yes - as a friend! And it was lovely...he - he is lovely," she whispered, head bowed, and Bea's heart swelled. Of course, Beau had to know that Lily liked him, he could read her mind, but that only made Bea more confused as to why he wasn't making a move.

Even if he didn't know, then she just made it pretty clear that her feelings for him were way different of those to a friend, and he looked pretty smitten as she walked away with a smile on her lips. Bea wondered why it was so complicated, why they weren't just declaring each other as boyfriend and girlfriend when it could be that simple.

"So much time has passed," Lily said, "since...since Hogsmeade, and he's my friend, I mean of course he is! but that day seemed like he liked me, and now it's like he just sees me as a friend and I don't know. I just hate all these mixed signals because I just don't know!"

"I need to tell that boy to get his shit together," Bea grumbled with a roll of her eyes and Lily giggled softly, "do you really like him?"

"I don't know...well, I think so I just-" she cut herself off, "I know that he would be very easy to love."

"He seems happy all of the time," Bea whispered, a small smile on her lips, "but he's not just a smile, Lils, he is so much more than that, and I love you with all of my heart and you know that - Merlin you're my best friend, but I don't want to see him hurt. If you like him then I will talk to him - but I can't get his hopes up if you don't."

"No, I do." She nodded furiously, "I just...I want to know him first. I know him, of course, I do - but I want to have more time together...with just him. He pretends to be open, but I know he's not, he's hiding so much, and I want him to trust me."

"I think he will - eventually," Bea nodded, "but if it gives you some perspective...he's only recently started opening up to me."

"Oh," Lily laughed softly, "wow."

"I know, but don't think it's anything personal," Bea said, "he's just...he's been through so much."

-

"You know she likes you," Bea said, slamming the door to the art gallery closed just after pushing Beau inside, "you know she likes you a whole fucking lot and you're not doing anything about it! you can't just lead her on like that!"

"Bea-"

"No, I'm talking!" she exclaimed, "she kissed you for Merlin's sake! And don't give me any bullshit tale about how you didn't know she liked you - and how you don't like her because that is the definition of bullshit!

And she is my best friend - remember last year when some boy decided hey let's fucking shoot the cruciatus curse at her! Yeah? Well, Lily, was the one to fucking save me and she doesn't deserve to be treated like that!"

"I like her, Bea, fucking hell!" Beau exclaimed, "I like her a whole fucking lot - and the time at Hogsmeade with her, the time when she made me laugh and I laughed a lot and I couldn't stop thinking about her...I realised that she made me happy, that I could trust her, and I want to trust her!"

"Then why haven't you done anything? Beau...what's going on?" Bea asked, eyebrows furrowed as she pushed herself to sit on the desk.

"She's...well, I'm - I'm not good enough for her," he finally blurted out. Hands clasped together and a frown so deep it knitted his eyebrows together.

She was silent for a more than a moment, watching the insecurities pouring out of him - watching him stand there looking so helpless, and she was quiet...so quiet in fact that he hardly heard her. "Bullshit."

"Bea-"

"Fucking bullshit," she shook her head, standing up from the desk, "you can't believe that, Beau!"

"Of course, I believe it, Bea, have you met her?!"

"Have you met you?!" she screamed back at him, arms flailing, and eyes narrowed, "don't you dare think of yourself as anything less than brilliant, Beau because you are fucking brilliant. And you know what, I think you forget that if it wasn't for you then I would still have no friends probably - and I'd still be so alone, and I'd still only have you.

Because you were there, and you made our friends realise that I wasn't a ghost, and I still need them to be there - and I wasn't gone! You made them realise that I needed them, and I need you too!

You learned to play the piano perfectly to take your mind off of what happened to you. You have a smile on your face almost constantly and you have risen above what happened to you because you're that fucking great!

You deserve Lily, you deserve to have someone who will love you and who you can love with all of your heart because you deserve that!

You are not the burden you believe yourself to be!" she pushed his chest with her finger, trying to ingrain into his mind that he wasn't a bad person and that he was one of the best people she had ever met in her life.

"You helped me when I couldn't help myself, Beau!" she whispered, eyes boring into his and he hardly knew what to say.

"You know she said to me at Hogsmeade that I looked cute," he shook his head, stuffing his hands into his pockets, "it was so innocently said - and I didn't even know what to say. She was laughing because we don't have butterbeer in Australia, and it was my first time trying it and I got the froth on the top all over me and she said I looked cute.

And I just stopped because not even my ex called me cute - she called me a million names under the sun but never ones relating to looks, or being cute - or anything like that and I could hear Lily's mind. I could hear her mind so clearly and she was so nervous, and she believed what she said - she believed I was cute, she really did think so.

And I know it's no big deal...I mean I know from other people's minds that I'm seen as good looking and stuff but...but the way she said it and her eyes lit up and she just looked so happy - and I was so happy, and I was laughing, and she leaned over and wiped the froth and I couldn't stop staring at her and she looked at my lips and I watched her, and I was so ready to kiss her.

I wanted to, but I pulled away. Because eventually, I'll have to tell her everything about me...cause that's what you do when you love someone, and I can feel how easy it would be to fall in love with her - I mean...she's just so incredible, but she deserves someone who isn't broken.

Who wasn't broken. She deserves someone who doesn't sometimes wake up with such vivid nightmares. She deserves someone who is able to give her the world instead of holding her back," he shook his head, "she deserves someone like...like I don't know, James! because James has given you everything, and you give him everything and you both love each other so much."

"Yeah, I do love James so much," she nodded, "and he loves me so much...but it's funny cause I wake up with vivid nightmares, and I wake up feeling helpless and hopeless - and he takes care of me because he loves me, and I can fucking bet Lily would take care of you.

She is so head over heels for you it's actually amusing because this full day, she tried her very hardest to bring you up as much as possible. She said to me 'He pretends to be open, but I know he's not, he's hiding so much, and I want him to trust me.' So, trust her, because she wants you to and she is one of the most opened minded people this world has ever fucking seen!"

"But why does she want me!?" he asked, voice loud.

"Why wouldn't she?" Bea said, "we all need people in this world, Beau, no matter how independent we can be...no matter if we thrive on our own, we are happier with friends, and with loved ones - and you could have someone you can depend on with your whole life.

And I strongly believe that person is Lily."