Chapter 29

"We have so much to do!" Bea exclaimed as she hurried into her gallery, grabbing her watering can she used to tend to her plants since she much preferred using her hands than a spell, she would vouch that they grew better.

"What you need to do first is calm down!" Beau snorted, taking her book bag from her hand and hooking it onto the small stand near the door, "we have time, Bea."

"Calm down?!" she exclaimed, "I don't wanna calm down, I wanna plan the evening out to a T, I wanna set up the charm - I wanna visit the room! I wanna do it soon, really soon, because the sooner we do it the sooner kids know they aren't alone!"

"Then we'll do it all now!" He nodded, agreeing with her, "but still...Bea I don't want you to get overwhelmed, come on just take a seat and we'll think over it all."

They had just gotten back from a meeting with Dumbledore, Flitwick and Sprout about their idea of what they wished to do. Bea wanted to make sure they would be allowed to do it but her and Beau both knew that regardless of the Professor's approval then they would still do it regardless.

She had started with justice, on the justice system and how she was sure it was corrupt because she didn't get justice and she found out only yesterday that Beau hadn't gotten justice for what happened to him, and then she dived into loneliness - and then fear, until every single topic she wished to cover had been covered and she was left breathless from talking too much.

"We want to help," Beau had said, stepping forward. Beau hadn't gotten into trouble since his time at the school, and not only was it funny to Bea but surprising. He was confident and cocky and he was very sure of himself that she thought he would be involved in trouble as much as her friends were, but he was a perfect student in their eyes.

"We want to help kids like us...who felt like they had no one for the longest time and could barely smile. We want to show that we could be the ones they can come to after this group joins - after they share what they went through after they let us listen because we are fu- really good at that. We want them to get everything off of their chest and make sure they know that they don't need to continue going through or bottle up what they have been through."

The Professors were silent as they thought about it, and Flitwick and Sprout leaned down to talk quietly to Dumbledore whilst Bea grabbed Beau's hand and clutched it tightly, her breathing unsteady and her breath too.

And Sprout smiled at Bea, nodding her head that allowed Bea to release the breath she was holding, "you can make this group, on one condition."

"Anything," Bea said.

"If...any of these kids are in a great deal of danger - in fact, any danger..." Dumbledore paused, "then I will need to know immediately. Failure to comply, Miss Lupin - and Mr Roberts will lead to very drastic accounts."

"Of course, Professor. We would have come to you anyway," Bea nodded furiously.

"Very well."

"I'm so excited for this," Bea whispered, clasping her hands together, "I mean...and the fact that it's with you like you just know everything. You know basically everything about me...and that doesn't even bother me because I trust you so much - you're my best friend in the whole world and you understand, you know what I'm going through and I feel like I know a lot about you."

Beau nodded, a smile on his lips and Bea stared at him, and she was sure - she was almost positive that smile was forced, that he was forcing that smile onto his lips and she didn't exactly know why, but she couldn't pry.

"Alright, let's plan!" she clapped her hand, pushing past him and to her bookbag where she had stored multiple textbooks containing many charms. Beau was a lot better at charms than she was, and she was sure he would be the better of the two to cast it.

"Alright, so I've bookmarked some pag-"

"Bea there's something I need to tell you." She frowned at the tone of his voice and the fact that he had cut her off and turned with the book in her hand to face him. The look on his face she had never seen before - it was guilt and pain and he was frowning so much his eyebrows furrowed together and she didn't know why her heart had suddenly raced so fast.

She didn't know what to think of the tone he had set, or the fact that he hadn't yet said what he wanted to, or the fact that she wasn't sure where her words had gone to, but she was sure that what he was about to say related to his very forced smile.

"...What is it, Beau?" she asked, sitting down her book and deciding to make her way over to him, patting his shoulder and he nodded, gesturing for her to sit down and she pushed herself onto one of the tables, sitting crossed legged with her hands clasped in her lap and her sandy brown her falling over her shoulders just slightly.

"I just...it's not - well it's not the worst thing in the world," he said, pacing the space in front of her and she wanted to make sure he was truly alright, but she didn't quite know what to say, "I just...well, I - I didn't tell you before because I was scared of your reaction. The last person I told left me...called me - called me a freak, and you were my first friend here and my only friend for the longest time and I don't want to lose you, so I figured not telling you might be the best thing.

But the thing is I trust you with my life, I trust you with everything I own and more and...I know I could trust you with this - I just, I don't want you to think anything different of me."

"Are you...are you hurt? Are you alright?" she frowned deeper than she had in a while, panic settling in her stomach.

"No...I'm not - I was for a while, for a long while actually. How I felt about myself caused so many insecurities and caused me to look for...comfort." He looked away from her and she knew by comfort he meant his ex-girlfriend who hurt him more than she could possibly imagine and all she wanted to do was run and hug him and tell him she would never cause him any sort of pain.

"I don't know how to tell you outright," he said, stopping in front of her, "so I'll - well I'll demonstrate."

"Demonstrate?"

"Yes - but please don't get mad," he whispered, and her heart quickened again, "I know...I know that you're bisexual, Bea. I know that you could have easily liked Violet if you weren't in love with James. I know that for the longest time you wanted to kill yourself...and that - and that there was one time you were going to try.

I know that when you were in the bath one day during the Summer...you pushed your head underwater and James kicked down the door and pulled you out when you didn't respond to his knocking - and he swore he wouldn't tell anyone...or bring it up again. I know that after that day he was outside of the bathroom waiting every time you were in the water just in case you tried to do that again."

Her heart was racing wild. Both of those things...those things she experienced with James and only James and she wondered what was going on - if James had...had told him, and the thought sent fury to flash in her mind.

"I know that back in second year you loved Violet more than you had ever loved anyone in your life and you haven't quite realised it yet but if you thought of it then you would realise that Violet was your first crush," he took a deep breath and her eyes widened, "I know...about Remus."

He didn't even have to say anything else about that for her to know what he meant.

"And I know that you and your friends take shape of animals...that you're unregistered animagus and you're a little Bee and when you flew again for the first time in months last year, you felt a part of you coming back," she wasn't sure if her aching heart was from reliving all these things or how he knew.

"I know all these things...I know - so much about you because...because I can see into your mind," he took a deep breath, "I can...read minds, Bea."

"W-what?"

"It's not on purpose. It's not Legilimency...it kind of is, it's classed as that but it's different. Because I was born with it and I didn't do anything to make it better. I've always been able to read thoughts and I can't control it, but I vowed to never tell another soul what I hear - and trust me, you wouldn't want to know some of the stuff I've heard before.

I'm...horrible, Bea, I'm - I violated your privacy and I didn't mean to, but I couldn't stop myself. If I could stop myself I would have, I promise I would have but I couldn't bring myself to tell you because you trust me, and I can't lose that trust.

But I want you to be able to trust the real me, and not me who hides a big part of himself."

She was trying to process it all in such a short time, trying to allow the gears in her head to run over and over and she was...in so much shock but she understood. She understood how it felt to not be able to control something because for the longest time she couldn't control her anger - or her fear or her sadness and she could hardly control her urge to hurt herself.

And she knew someone so close to her that couldn't control what he had turned into every single full moon, and how insecure he was about it.

But Beau...he controlled himself more than he knew - because he didn't tell anyone about what he knew. He kept everything to himself, he didn't start gossip or blackmail anyone into doing anything for him because he was a good person.

So, Bea jumped off the desk, and she rushed forward until her arms looped around his neck and he hugged her so tightly she could hardly breathe, "you know you're my honorary brother, Beau."

He almost choked on the sob, "and you're my sister, Bea."

"Exactly. So, you're never going to lose me, ever. You're my best friend, you're my brother and I love you with all of my heart," she tightened her grip around him, "and you have heard everything in my mind - and you know all that I know about myself, and you know more...it seems, but you don't know everything.

Because you're not horrible, you will never be horrible," she furiously shook her head, "you're dealing with something you can't control, and you hear things from heads you wish you never had to and you still keep a smile on your face and you still keep all those thoughts to yourself because you're good.

You're a good person...no, you're a great person fucking hell," she shook her head, "and If you learn to control it, or not, it doesn't matter because you will always be a great person."

"Thank you, Bea," he mumbled into her shoulder and she smiled, and tightened her grip on him.

"You know you should have told me sooner," she grumbled, shaking her head, "this would've come in handy when I didn't talk!"

"You're right," he laughed softly, "I think we're both too fucking soppy. We need to get back to swearing."

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!" she shouted, "wait! No, that....no that just - that sounded really wrong."

Beau howled with laughter as Bea covered her face with her hands, trying to tell her that it was fine but failing because it really did sound wrong, and when he had calmed down and she had lowered her wand after threatening to throw him against the wall, he said, "alright...now that that's over, planning?!"

"Yes!" she grinned, nodding excitedly, "so as I was saying, I bookmarked some of these charms pages!"