Haven

He didn't sit with us that day. I hadn't known where he had eaten his lunch, but he wasn't with us.

It had disappointed me, though, it interested me even more, because it made me question even more things about Zephaniah. The reserved guy went unnoticed by many of the students, I didn't even think someone besides me and Tara had bothered to utter a word to him.

I wondered if he minded, because he didn't seem to, but, how trustworthy was the word seem? He had chosen to eat lunch with us today, apparently, as he took a seat next to his cousin, at the corner so he didn't have to sit next to someone else.

We were currently seated outside on the wooden picnic benches in the warm sun, food scattered all over the table that everyone just took without asking for consent.

I had simply brought my own lunch with me. So had Zephaniah.

"Haven, did you sign yourself up for the student project? What was it again? Helping poor students that aren't able to figure things out themselves?" Luke snickered, raising his eyebrows at me, as if it was something stupid.

Though, I sat up straight and stared right back into his eyes, not even a tiny bit intimidated by his dominant behaviour he had had ever since the first day. I didn't know why, but it was surely irritating to me.

"Yes, I did, actually. It's for students that may struggle with certain things." I answered, glancing at Zephaniah, who had a slight frown on his face as he glanced at each one of us, quickly looking away after eye contact.

Norah glared at Luke, then looked at me. "That's great, Haven. I told you to do so! And? Are you somebody's coach now? Did you help anyone, yet?"

"Uhm," I took a sip of my drink, glancing at Zephaniah again, who was already looking at me, confusion written on his face. I didn't feel like telling them, as I didn't know if Zephaniah was aware of the situation, and because I didn't think he'd quite appreciate it.

I mean, it surely wasn't anything to feel ashamed of, not at all, but I just had this feeling that Zephaniah wouldn't like it.

"Actually, no. The woman from the library said that there weren't many students yet that signed themselves up for it. But I'd hear once someone needed it." I smiled at Norah and Tara, who seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say, unlike Luke, who gave me a bored expression. I didn't mind.

"How about you, Zephaniah." Luke then asked, startling Zephaniah. "Did you sign yourself up for it?"

Zephaniah grabbed his water bottle and took a sip, his cheeks coloring as every student that sat at the table, (basically the study group plus Tara), stared at him. "Uhm, what?"

"For the study project. You know, that help other students that can't do shit," He snickered, nudging Louis' and Abel's arms, who chuckled as well. "And not as coach, obviously."

Zephaniah nibbled on his bottom lip and glanced at Luke, keeping his eyes on Tara as she started to speak.

"Yeah, because he'd need it, obviously. Your dad used to shower you until you were like what? Eleven? Twelve?" Tara laughed, Zephaniah's cheeks turning even redder, an upset look forming on his face.

He started to play with his fingers, intensely looking at them and not speaking up for himself. I wondered why he didn't do that. I wondered if Tara was speaking the truth, but even if she did, why would she say something like that?

It clearly upset him.

"Eleven?! I could shower on my own when I was six. No way, Jose, my father would wash me still." Louis laughed, giving Zephaniah a- not- understanding look.

"He's always needed a little more help, right, Zephy?" Tara simply grinned, ruffling Zephaniah's hair but he wasn't having it and shoved her away, his upset look still present.

"Because Zephaniah-"

"Guys, stop." I said, shutting Tara's mouth with a slight glare as I couldn't have them upsetting him even more. It wasn't necessarily because it was Zephaniah, though, as I hated seeing people pestering others in general. It wasn't needed, I couldn't understand why they did it.

Tara sighed but kept her mouth shut, stealing fries from Louis and dipping them into some Ketchup.

"So, what do you all think of Uni so far?" Abel questioned, looking at each of us before his eyes lingered on Norah.

She shrugged, chewing on a strawberry. "Great, simply great. Awesome, amazing. Can these four years be over already?"

"Mood," Luke pointed at Norah and stole fries as well, the smell of them making me extremely hungry, but I stuck to my own sandwiches.

"It's good to learn new stuff," I shrugged, "I don't mind. The University is okay. I mean, have you seen the building? The design is pretty awesome if you ask me. Don't get me started on the library-"

"Yada, yada, yada." Luke grinned, his eyes lingering on me. "Of course you'd like it, Haven. But, can you, like, shut your mouth? Too chatty."

Tara hit him lightly, giving him a warning look. "Shut it, Luke. That wasn't nice. Let Haven be excited."

I shrugged again, "I really don't mind what he says, Tara. He's my last concern." Chuckling, I simply flashed him a genuine smile as he raised his eyebrow at me, not really knowing what to say back to me.

"Savage," we heard, all of our eyes searching for the person who just whispered that.

"Wow! Somebody can talk. Congrats, Zeph." Tara rolled her eyes and turned her back to him, giving us her full attention.

Zephaniah simply reached for another sandwich, with, what looked like grilled chicken to me and quietly took a bite, glancing at me. I thought I saw his lips curl up, oh so lightly, but because that was rather rare, I wasn't sure if I had seen it right.

It didn't matter, I smiled at him, anyway. His cheeks tinted pink, his bright eyes averting to the ground.

Lunch went on peacefully, the seven, well, more like six, of us chatting softly. Zephaniah hadn't said a word after Tara had turned her back to him and he seemed to be in his own world, staring into the distance while eating a cookie.

Suddenly, Tara turned her attention to him again, and as the other continued to chat with each other, I secretly listened to Tara.

"When is your dad's birthday again?" Tara asked, snatching Zephaniah's fruit out of his lunchbox, who frowned at her in response.

"Give it back, Tara." He demanded, trying to grab it back. When she finally did give it back, she asked him the same question over again, her voice sounding moody. "Uhm, first it is mum's and dad's anni-anniversary."

"I don't care about that," Tara huffed. "I asked when your father's birthday was."

Zephaniah frowned again, staring at his cousin for a while. "First it is-"

"Your father's birthday, Zephaniah. Not their stupid anniversary no one cares about." She scoffed, hitting his water bottle on purpose, that fell down onto the grass.

"Tara," He said, voice sounding upset. "I do- I do care about mum and dad's anniversary." He bent down to grab his water bottle, his tongue rolling over his bottom lip as he cleaned the top of it with his sleeve.

Tara rolled her eyes again, hitting his chest. "When will you ever speak properly? I asked you when your father's birthday is. Nothing more, nothing less. But, nevermind. I'll ask my mum."

"Mama's birthday is soon," Zephaniah mentioned, uncertainly looking at Tara.

"I do not care, Zephaniah. Your father. What's so hard about that?" She groaned, glaring at him.

"Dad's in January. Mum in May." He said quietly, his eyes roaming over Tara's face as he waited for her response.

Tara gave him a sheepish look. "Oh. Then I did mean your mum. I was just wondering if she was going to celebrate any time soon."

"Perhaps," he said, once again, quietly. His voice soft and smooth, almost soothing in a way.

"Okay," Tara sighed, staring at Luke for a while, Zephaniah humming shortly and rummaging through his backpack, taking his headphones out of it.

He placed them on his head, though didn't cover his ears with them yet as he plugged them into his phone, tapping and scrolling slowly.

"You're not going to do this now, Zephaniah." Tara sneered, pointing at his headphones.

Zephaniah stared at her instantly, "It's busy, Tara. Let me be, okay."

"It's not busy, at all. Don't be so dramatic. No wonder you have no friends, you never socialize." Tara cursed, Zephaniah's head shooting up at her words and cursing.

"Do you hear those frogs? Do you hear the- the rumbling planes? That crying kid over there? The ducks? No, you do not. Leave me be." Zephaniah gave her another upset look, and as I thought about his words, I realised the sounds he just said had gone to the background noises in my mind at the beginning already.

"I'm tired of you, Zeph. Just act normal for once. I wanted to help you settle in here, but you're shutting yourself off all the time." Tara murmured, giving him a dirty look.

Zephaniah returned the look and fully covered his ears with his headphones, quietly mumbling. "You don't- don't help me at all. I do not need your help, okay."

"What'd you say?" Tara snatched his headphones off, hitting one of his ears roughly.

His hand flew to the ear that became red, his expression turning to thunder, face looking like a dark cloud that was ready to burst any time soon. "Stop, Tara."

"You can't tell me what to do, Zeph." She kept pulling at his headphones, trying to stuff them back into his backpack, that was still on his lap.

"Tara!" He said louder, his jaws clenching and I noticed the glistening in his green eyes. He was really upset, perhaps because of Tara's behaviour towards him.

Luke chuckled, gaining the attention of Abel, Louis and Norah as he whispered, "look at him."

It made me feel irritated, and I glared at them, wanting them to shut up and mind their own business. Turning to Tara, I wanted to stop her, but I was too late.

Tara pulled the headphones rougher on purpose, but broke them accidentally. She gulped and shifted closer to me, quickly laying them down onto the table. "Uh, oops.."

The thunder and lightening struck to the table. He exploded.

Zephaniah started screaming and cursing at Tara, his hand hitting her cheek while a few tears managed to slip from his eyes. He showed her his middle finger, snatched his backpack from his lap and walked away, furiously.

We all looked at her in confusion, Luke and Louis laughing because of Zephaniah's behaviour, Tara giving us a sarcastic smile. "I told you he has issues. Forget this. Who bought the chocolate again? Can I have some?"

Norah cheered and within a few seconds, the atmosphere was back at how it was in the beginning, though, I felt nauseous, for once not standing at Tara's side because something, something was just not right about the situation.

So I stood up, ignored the looks they gave me and quickly walked towards the direction Zephaniah left to, trying to find him through the students that walked right through me, some of them bumping against me.

Scanning the students in the hallway, it didn't take me long to see an upset guy standing in front of his locker, trying to open it but couldn't as he was simply too upset to do so.

Walking over to him, I simply stared at him, actually wanting to lay my hand upon his shoulder, but he didn't seem to like physical contact.

He was trying hard to hold back his tears, his jaws clenching, his tongue moving around in his mouth as he tried to open his locker still. Later, he brought the fabric of his hoodie to his mouth and started to bite on it, fisting his locker in frustration.

"What's the code?" I asked softly, startling him as he took a step back, avoiding eye contact.

He shrugged, wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie and fiddled with his fingers.

"I'm not going to steal your textbooks, I don't enjoy University that much." I joked carefully, observing his expression.

He smiled almost unperceived, only the left corner of his mouth curling up. "Birth day.. and month. Sixteen eleven."

I typed in his code, and the click that came after confirmed the code was right and the locker was unlocked. He opened it, snatched his coat out of it and closed it again, shrugging his coat on. He wanted to walk away, but I stopped him.

"Are you okay?" I asked softly, trying to search for his eyes, but, he wouldn't look at me.

"Nobody understands," he whispered so quietly, I could barely hear. "So much- so much information. My head is just-it just goes- I do not know, it goes.. boom." He huffed shortly in sadness and frustration. "Best explanation from when I was- was little,"

And he left.

~~~

Zeph.. do you understand his meltdown?

Do you understand Tara's behaviour/ words towards Zephaniah?

Feedback, opinions, in general? Don't hesitate to tell me, please! Just trying to make things as realistic as possible.

Info;

Sometimes, many dates or appointments, or things can be too unclear or too much to remember for a person with autism. Therefore, as you've seen Zephaniah talk, Zayn had most likely told Zephaniah: first, the anniversary, then, mums birthday and then dad's birthday. Just to be clear, to bring more rest and structure into Zephaniah's busy mind. therefore, Zephaniah says it in the same order, same structure, which Tara, or us, may not fully understand.

Hope it is clear!
Next chapter, I'll bring more information and awareness to autistic meltdowns, which he had in this chapter.