Zephaniah

Washing my body, I rinsed off the soap and shampoo, revealing the familiar apple scent that made me feel at ease. The water was warm, the stream was soft. Their shower was good- easier than the one at my grandparents' house at least.

Turning off the faucet, I stepped out of the shower, shivering as I reached for my own towel. I wrapped it around my body and stood still for a while, glancing through the mirror. My hair fell flat onto my forehead, my left cheek was rosy due to the warmth- the right one was yellow, almost green as the bruises were healing.

Glancing between my jeans and my joggers, I didn't know what to choose. It went against my nature to dress in normal clothes after I had showered- I usually spent the evenings in my pajamas at home. I wouldn't go anywhere anymore, anyway.

Nina had set up a small campfire in their backyard. I heard the chatter of my peers, Haven included. I wanted to go for her, even when a headache had started to come up. Glancing between my jeans and joggers again, I broke my routine and slipped on the jeans after I had slipped on my underwear and applied some ointment for the eczema.

Medication sucked. One of the side effects were skin rashes- eczema and of course I had to get that. It had bothered me almost my whole life- my thighs being the worst place. I tended to itch quite a lot- it became worse at night, but Dad had always tried for me to hold back. Itch was worse than pain. I had agreed to the one who said that.

Pulling a dark blue and white striped hoodie over my head, I adjusted my beanie on my slightly humid hair after that. I disliked the feeling of wet hair, I disliked the cold that would hit it lightly outside even more.

Haven.

I stood still and flapped my hands for a brief moment, smiling at the thought. I bit my upper lip.

The feeling and thought of being someone's guy, made me feel extremely confused, yet so grateful. Who knew the autistic would blend so well with a neurotypical? I saw it as some sort of achievement, I wondered if that made sense or if it was right, or wrong.

Unlocking the bathroom door, I left our area and tiptoed through the living room, wondering where the door was that led us over towards the backyard. I stood still for a while, petting Luna while secretly hoping somebody would come and get me. I was hesitant as where to go to, which made me feel self aware again. I just didn't want to make Nina think I was snooping through her house, as Norah had told her.

Much to my luck, Nina entered the living room as well, smiling at me. "Hi, love. Do you want to join your peers outside? You can follow me. Oh! Wait, would you mind helping me out?"

Giving her an unsure smile, I hadn't quite followed what she meant. Nodding still, I followed her into the kitchen, awkwardly playing with my fingers.

"Are you liking it so far? I can imagine it must be a little tougher for you.. isn't it?" She wondered, her face stood soft. I didn't really know what she meant, so I didn't answer, not knowing what to say.

My lips parted, my cheeks heated up, my eyes flickering away.

"Don't mind me." She spoke, I watched her freckles. "Mind bringing over these bowls of crisps to your friends?"

"Okay." I mumbled out modestly, frowning when I realised she had called them my friends. As if- excluding Haven with that, obviously. I waited for Nina and quickly followed her outside, clumsily placing the bowls onto a small table that stood outside, being aware of the eyes that burned into my back.

Quickly straightening the drinks, bowls, and glasses, I searched for Haven, finding her on a seat sack beside Norah. Ittarah glared at me, I gave her a questionable look, but once Luke bored his eyes onto my face- I looked away.

Suddenly, I realised how empty it was without Cooper, I truly missed him. He'd know a place for me to sit- he'd help me focus on something else, feeling more comfortable as the eyes that were now only on me- would be divided onto me and him instead.

Lost in my thoughts, I hadn't heard Haven calling my name several times- until her soft hand wrapped around mine. "Hey, there's another seat sack here. They're pretty nice, she wants to make smores! Do you like them?"

Following Haven, I breathed out in relief, smiling lightly at Norah, who returned it. I held onto her hand tightly, even when we were seated. Norah frowned, I wondered why. It made me feel a bit uncertain as if I was doing something wrong, but I wouldn't tell.

Scooting closer to Haven, I licked my lips, pressing them to her cheek. The same, unknown yet pleasuring feeling flew through my blood, making me feel happy but shy at the same time. I kissed her cheek again, mine coloring pink.

Norah cleared her throat and stood up, her eyebrows furrowed as she stared at Haven with such intensity. If I would've been Haven- I would've looked away a long time ago. "Uhm, I'm joining Tara."

Furrowing my eyebrows, I watched her as she walked away. "Did I do something wrong?"

Haven shook her head, the colorful lamps Nina had hung into her backyard shimmering in her eyes. "You did not. I don't know what's wrong with her." She smiled lightly, bringing her face closer to mine. Our noses touched, I pressed my forehead against her. I didn't look into her eyes, rather at the freckle on her cheekbone.

Her lips connected with mine, I naturally moved along. She stopped soon after, my body felt on fire. It scared me a little, not knowing a specific girl could have such an effect on you. Did Mum make Dad feel that way too? Was that normal?

It was a new aspect of my body, something I hadn't figured out yet.

Staring at the campfire, I dug deeper into my jacket, feeling rather cold. It was dark already, stars hovering above us, our eyes resting on the flames. They warmed us, even when half of the warmth that was in me came from Haven.

Our hands were still entangled, our grip was still firm- I liked that. The crackling sound of the campfire was soothing, so were the last, lost birds that wished us goodnight. Or well, I thought they did. Why else would they chirp, now? Soon, their sounds would be faded into the greatest unknown. Where did they sleep, anyway?

"Zeph? I've always wondered.. why do you like dogs so much? Or is that like, unexplainable, as my obsession for Amsterdam." Haven chuckled, her voice soft.

I blinked my eyes, waking from my stare moment. I glanced at her, thinking about her question. "Dogs are loyal, no matter what. Humans aren't. The more you start to get to- to know humans, the more you start to love animals. Cooper made me who I am today, honestly. And you."

"If I was a dog, what breed would I be?" She asked, making me smile.

"Maybe a Beagle." I nodded my head, referring to her favourite breed. "Friendly, gentle, quite some energy, loyal. Also playful, likes being surrounded by many people, curious and loving. They need attention." Biting my lip to prevent myself from laughing, I stared into her eyes for a brief moment, trying it a second or two longer.

"Ah." Haven nodded, chuckling softly. "I see. Like attracts like, huh."

"The dog choses you." I hummed, thinking about my Cooper. "Rijksmuseum tomorrow?"

"Rijksmuseum tomorrow." Haven confirmed, calming me a little. I sighed, staring at the snacks that were displayed onto the table. Luke and Louis had misplaced the bowls and drinks- it was messy. It bothered me, but my social anxiety held me back to get some snacks and straighten it again.

I kept glancing at it, my headache becoming worse.

Haven cupped my cheeks, her eyes roaming over my face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I answered quickly, feeling bad about the lie. "I, uhm.. I straightened everything and Luke dumps everything on the- the table. Just messy. I want some snacks, but I do not want to go there."

"What do you want?" Haven asked calmly, she wasn't mad.

I glanced at the messy table again, my eyes lingering onto the marshmallows. "We can roast the- the marshmallows, maybe?"

"We could." Haven smiled. I shivered at the loss of contact of her warm hands on my cheeks, watching her as she walked over towards the table. She straightened everything, it reminded me of Phebe, who had copied my actions without wondering why, or thinking it was weird.

I felt in love, watching her still as she shoved three marshmallows onto a stick, two on her own. She walked back over to me, I wrapped my arms around her neck and held her tight, wanting to feel her presence. I pressed her body against mine, pulling away a moment later.

Haven smiled at me, her cheeks flushing pink. "Intense hug. I liked that."

"Thanks, Haven." I took the stick from her, eating one of the marshmallow right away.

"Don't you want to roast them?" Her eyebrows were furrowed, I wondered if she was mad.

"Sorry, uhm, it was uneven. The amount." Quickly holding the marshmallows above the fire, Haven simply copied me, her gaze onto my face. Soon later, the rest joined us. It made me feel a little uneasy, Haven had nicely greeted them.

Staring down at the ground, I wondered if I would ever become as outgoing as Haven was. Probably not, it made me wonder how I would survive the adult life. Taking away the stick that hung above the fire, I touched the marshmallow with my finger, frowning when parts of it stuck to my finger.

The stickiness felt gross, I quickly licked it off, not bothering to mix myself into the conversation of my peers. Haven's hand found mine, I held it tightly while eating off the warm, melted marshmallows.

I blinked my eyes a little faster, the headache was pressuring. It made me wonder where it came from, but I didn't want to focus on it.

"So, announcement to make, you all." Tara's voice made me look up at her, she looked different. Make- up changed her face, she had curled her hair. "Luke and I are officially a thing now." She wiggled her eyebrows, I glanced at Haven. Why did Tara need to tell everybody? Was that normal too?

Louis cheered, so did Abel. Norah simply rolled her eyes but clapped. Haven didn't answer, neither did I.

"You may now kiss the bride." Louis fake barfed, cheering them on when Luke leaned in, Tara immediately reacting to it. "You two are so cute, I can't help but throw up." A few profanities left his mouth, I tried to take in everything that was happening, Haven was still eating.

"Such a supportive family member you are, Zeph." Tara gave me a look, I didn't understand the expression. "If only you could be less selfish and feel happy for me."

I swallowed, thinking about aunt Maryum. "I thought you weren't allowed to date."

"Shots fired, ah!" Abel grinned, nudging my shoulder. It irritated me, I glared at him. Abel's face softened, I felt ashamed.

"Seriously?" Tara stood up, hovering over me. "I swear, Zeph. I swear, if you're telling your Dad this, I'll kill you. I'm not even lying." She whispered, I looked up in confusion. "You're always making a fool out of me, aren't you? Not my problem that your parents still treat you like a child. I can do whatever I want to do, alright? Mind your own, stupid, business. If you even have any." She said, louder then, so the others heard.

"Calm down." I whispered, my eyebrows furrowed as I looked into her eyes. They looked sad, it confused me- scared me even more. My face softened, I wanted to reach for her hair, but she smacked my head instead.

"Leave him!" Haven sneered, standing up as she faced Tara. "I told you that last time, didn't you understand still?!" She pushed Tara, I swallowed nervously as I watched the two girls in front of me.

"No boyfriend, no problem." Norah held up her hands, shrugging.

Swallowing again, I looked up at Haven, reaching for her hand. "No war, Have." I whispered, she heard.

Haven sat back down with a sigh, glancing at me. "I'm sorry, Zephaniah. I'm tired of her. She only has to irritate me once and I'll blow up again. Shall we get something to drink?" I nodded in agreement, wanting to get out of the situation already.

Aunt Maryum was going to punish Tara.

"Tara cannot date." I whispered into Haven's ear, my features concerned. "He's not Muslim and- and she's only eighteen. Her mother wants her to be twenty. I think- I think they'll be angry when they find out."

Haven listened to me, filling two glasses with Coke. "Some people will only learn from their actions the tough way, Zeph. That's just how life goes."

"Isn't she scared? I would not want to disappoint my parents." I frowned, staring at Tara, who was now sitting on Luke's lap.

"Neither do I want to, but.." She was quiet for a while. "It just happens sometimes."

"I want to sleep." I stammered out, taking a few sips.

Haven motioned for me to follow her, so I did. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Just a headache. Time to go home." I gave her a half- heartedly smile, staring down at the floor. "You mind?"

"I don't mind, Zephaniah." Haven wrapped her hands around my waist, I felt shy at the closeness of our bodies. My fingers brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear, playing with it after that. "I get to kiss you goodnight now, right?" A cheeky smile appeared on her face.

Nodding, I brought my face closer to hers, jumping lightly when somebody cleared its throat. We pulled away, Norah stared at us, me specifically. "Wow. A second announcement would've been there, why didn't you two lovebirds say anything?"

I couldn't make out if she was happy, sad, sarcastic or teasing. I didn't understand her expression, I didn't understand the tone in her voice, so I simply kept my mouth shut.

"It's something between us, Norah. The world doesn't really need to know yet. We're exploring too." Haven replied calmly, taking my hand in hers and leading me over to the area we slept in. "I know I've been curious, but my goodness." She mumbled out, I didn't answer again.

Yawning, I rubbed my temples, feeling a little hazy, as if I was in a daze. I simply told myself I was still getting used to everything. The day had been extremely full- for my mind, at least.

"Sleep tight, Zepho." We exchanged a small kiss, my smile shy.

"Sleep well, Heaven."

Once I was in bed, I felt restless. I was sleepy, I was tired, but I couldn't seem to fall in either the slumber or wake up completely from the hazy state. Even the vibrating of my phone didn't wake me completely.

I fell away, restlessly.

~~~

Another chapter.. do you guys like the frequent updates? I hope so!! We're near the end though..

What is up with Zeph?

Do you think Haven reacted fairly towards Tara?

Tara and Luke being a thing now?

Let me know your thoughts!! Votes, feedback and comments much appreciated ❤️