Haven

"I wonder if there are autistic people that don't like the feeling of kissing." Zephaniah wondered, glancing at our hands, which had been entangled ever since we had kissed on the bench. "It feels pretty great to me, okay."

Smiling, I took it as a compliment. "Maybe it's just me, you know, who's a good kisser." I teased, but being the guy he was, he took it pretty seriously.

"I know so." He mumbled out, shyly glancing at me. It reminded me of the Zephaniah at the very beginning, when he had barely dared to utter a word to me. The shyness now was different, but I liked it about him. The roles in our, very, very fresh, relationship were reversed and I'd lie if I said I minded that.

I kissed Zephaniah. Zephaniah.

It suddenly hit me, making me feel warm all over again. My heart fluttered, I let out a shaky breath. Still wondering if I was dreaming, I was pretty sure I had never been happier before. Was there more to achieve? I didn't think so.

Zephaniah had randomly kissed me, oh so carefully, so now and then ever since we had shared the first kiss. I could tell he was getting used to the, rather big, change and feelings. But secretly, I was too. I didn't mind his soft lips pressed against mine- I couldn't get used to how nice it felt. How it felt as it belonged together, and had been since a long time.

I had space to breathe again, my mind had space to think about unnecessary stuff again.

"Do you think- do you think your parents mind about the relationship?" Zephaniah looked at me, unsure. His right eye was narrowed lightly, his lips parted.

"No." I answered right away, softly shaking my head. "No, I don't think so. I'm sure they will like it." Calling it a relationship had probably been really fast- but I didn't see the necessity of dating when you were already sure you wanted to be with this specific person..

And besides, wasn't it all we had done during this trip? I knew that my parents got together after meeting once or twice- that had been way faster than what I was doing right now. Jonah had asked Sarah on their third date- I knew Zephaniah much longer than that.

Perhaps, it didn't matter when or how you got together- if it felt right, then who were other people to stop or say anything about it?

The only thing I cared about was Zephaniah and his timing. If it was too fast- too overwhelming for him- I wouldn't have done it. Zephaniah had agreed to it himself, he had liked it even better. Being in a relationship was clear to him- he could fall back onto it. With dating, he wasn't sure about a lot of things- it was too hazy, too vague, too unclear. He needed the firmness, the confirmation.

"I think Dad would be proud of me." Zephaniah nodded, a small smile curling upon his lips. "Sorry, that might sound.. weird."

"Not at all." I smiled, squeezing his hand a little. "Also, if you say sorry one more time I'll sue you. You never have to apologise for such things, okay?"

"Okay, Heaven."

"You did not-" I stopped in tracks, looking up at him with such amusement. "That was so cute. Did you truly think I was called Heaven?"

Zephaniah chuckled, nodding his head. "I thought so.. the popping balloons had- had messed up my mind, I guess. Well, my hearing, actually." He laughed a little, biting his upper lip. The trait warmed me every time he did that- he looked sweet doing it.

"I didn't mind." Smiling, I thought about the very first time I saw him- the night where the stalls with information were displayed about the study you would be following. His eyes, which he had opened once he had stopped seizing, had caught me off guard. The intense look he had, some sort of confusion yet desperation- not forgetting to talk about the strange, beautiful colour of them.

They had never left my mind. Perhaps, that had been the reason for all of this. I knew I would see them again- but differently. Softer, warmer. Happy- not fearful, not confused.

"Do you remember the first time we saw each other?" I questioned out loud, wondering if he had been in a daze due to his seizure- or if he had noticed me too.

"Those Starry Night eyes." He hummed, glancing down at me for a brief moment. "Thought people would see me as the epileptic guy. You saved me. Tara never knows what to do."

I sighed softly, feeling his warmth beside me. "I didn't do anything, though. You woke on your own."

"You asked my name. Daddy does that- that too. It felt familiar. Tara asked what brand underwear I was wearing once. I got even more confused." He chuckled lightly, shaking his head. "Her frantic eyes always scared me. Yours were soft and calm, it calmed me."

"We're like a puzzle! We truly fit together." I chuckled playfully, even when I secretly meant it. But, what would the future hold for him? I still didn't know how he thought about certain things- marriage, whatsoever. Perhaps I'd scare him off if I already asked about that.

Live within the moment. Within the day. Sometimes that was rather hard.

"We need to make a new puzzle." Zephaniah frowned, staring up at the sky. "When I was little Baba said our lives were like- like a puzzle. Jigsaw pieces that fit and completed things. Dad found Mum, I found Cooper, I found Mum, Mum found me. We were a family. The puzzle was complete. Oh, you could be like, the line fader?"

"The line fader?" I laughed a little, my face softening when I stared at his rather intense and serious expression.

Zephaniah blinked his eyes a little faster. "When you make a puzzle, you still have the outlines of a jigsaw piece? You'll make them fade so it's a whole, neat thing. You complete the completeness."

I still couldn't get my head around the fact how interesting his brain worked, if only I could look inside his head for a moment.

"I'll be your line fader." I nodded happily, watching how Zephaniah had contently breathed out. We walked in silence for a while, searching the way that would lead us over towards a rooftop bar, our sight being the high buildings of the city from up there.

We arrived not much later, and as we went up with the elevator, we stepped in a pretty calm environment. I was relieved- I had searched for something calm on purpose, not wanting to overstimulate Zephaniah.

Even then I knew something so calm could be overwhelming for him still- he heard everything, I only heard the necessary stuff. But at least it would be less- in some way.

We sat all the way at the back, in a corner. Zephaniah had the perfect overview again, the two of us gazing down at the beautiful city beneath us after we had ordered. The sun was setting, coloring Zephaniah's skin golden. His lips were pink, he licked them slowly. He was quiet, his eyes were bright.

I stared at the tourists who walked by with shopping bags, some trying to cycle then giving up because they had no balanc. I stared at the buildings that were higher than the one we were currently on. I stared at the cars, the bikes, the people and just how the city was alive. I stared at Zephaniah.

"Do you think- think that the building over there is both old and new? The bricks until the fourth floor are much duller than the ones above that." Zephaniah frowned, I wondered what on earth he was talking about, until I stared at the specific building he was looking at for a long time.

"Wow, I mean-" I swallowed, wondering how detailed he actually was. "Yeah, perhaps!"

Zephaniah nodded contently, sudden staring down at me. He played with a strand of my hair, intensely gazing at it. "Your brown hair looks golden, because of the sun."

Smiling a little, I let him touch my hair for as long as he wanted to. Eventually he dropped his hands when he got stuck in one of his stare moments. Eyes wide, lips parted slightly. I wondered what he was thinking of. "Hey, Zeph?"

"Hi." He greeted back, getting used to the new environment as he stared at everything around him, his eyes blinking faster.

"Is eye contact still hard for you?" I wondered sincerely, observing his expressions.

Zephaniah briefly made eye contact, swallowing a little. "Uh, yeah, sorry. My therapist once said you will feel the right amount of time to- to look into somebody's eyes but.. for neurotypical maybe." He stammered out. "One time I looked way too long somebody called me a creep. It was intimidating, anyway. I decided to go on too short- more comfortable that way. You don't intimidate me, Have. Need to figure out the amount of time, okay?"

"What feels good to you, Zephaniah. Seriously." I gave him a smile, watching the waiter place the hot chocolate for Zephaniah, the Chai Latte for me on the table. Thanking him, I simply sat down onto one of the see- through plastic sort of chairs.

Zephaniah had stared at the outstanding view of the city for a moment more, sitting down himself after that. We had both ordered avocado toast with chicken, but I had them with tomatoes- Zephaniah hadn't wanted them.

The combination with the Chai Latte and the hot chocolate was probably strange, but we had craved for it- so we ordered it. Another thing I liked about Zeph. He hadn't understood why it wouldn't go together. He liked it, so he ordered it. The toast came not much later, the smell made me even hungrier. Adding salt onto it- I sprinkled down some pepper after that.

"Haven." Zephaniah's face had pulled into a frown, his lips parting. "You're doing it wrong." His cheeks flushed a little after that, he straightened himself. "Sorry. First pepper, then salt."

"Why?" I chuckled softly, wondering if it had to do with his autism.

"Because the pepper is more? Like, more pepper and then to top it off you do a little- little salt." Zephaniah frowned, sighing a little after that. "Can't explain. It just needs to be like that in my mind."

"I'm sorry." I furrowed my eyebrows, wondering if I had triggered something.

Zephaniah shook his head, his eyes widening. "No, no. The world does not revolve around neurotypicals only. The world does not revolve around autistic people only either. Somehow, it will need to blend. I will do it my way, you do it yours." He smiled a little, I could tell how he was fighting against his autism at this very moment.

He added the pepper, the salt after that indeed. Somehow, I understood why he did it that way. Wouldn't you add the whipped cream before the cherry too? Perhaps, the comparison was weird, but it also made some sense.

"Zeph?"

He looked up, his eyes questionable. "Can I take a photo of you? It's okay if you don't want to, truly. I just.. like to have a photo of you."

Zephaniah hesitated, his eyes flickering towards several tables, that were scattered out all over the rooftop. "I don't know how to act. When I was little I did not really like photos, every time school said it was time for the school photo I had stomach ache. Baba thought I was sick so he let me stay- stay home. I don't have much school photos. I don't think he knows."

"I noticed." I smiled lightly, feeling warm about his honesty. "You never really look directly into the camera."

"They said there was a little bird inside the lens. I always frowned when they said that. How can a bird be in there? It was too- too small. He would not be able to breathe, and why did they lock him if he had wings? Proper prison." He chuckled, biting his upper lip. "It was their trick for me to look into the camera but I still did not smile so they did not take the photo. Eventually when I realised it wasn't real, I got even more upset and didn't look at it anymore at all."

Taking things so literal, thinking much deeper about it than most kids did.

"Okay, Have." Zephaniah crossed his legs and arms, stuffing his bare feet underneath his thighs. "I'll try for you. Phones are less intimidating than professional cameras. Quickly, though." He blushed lightly, his eyes looking anywhere but me.

My heart skipped a beat, was he being literal? Taking my phone out of my pocket, I swiped towards the camera, adjusting the lights. "Do you remember when we were on our way towards here, slipping on the floor once we were in the boat and you fell down?"

Zephaniah laughed, his eyes briefly meeting mine. I clicked, and innerly cheered, quickly stuffing away my phone. "Why did you bring that up?"

"You're photogenic. Natural smiles are much better than the forced ones, anyway." I smiled cheekily, Zephaniah simply blushed, digging into his toast- he didn't have to talk that way. I quite liked the tactic he used when it came to that.

We both silently enjoyed the food and the warm drinks. Zephaniah was engrossed with his food, barely looking up. But I couldn't look away from him.

~~~

What do you think of them as a couple now? Do you think they fit together now it's so real?

Do you think the both of them will be able to keep everything steady, even when they go back home?

Our little zeph has grown :')

Let me know your thoughts! Votes, comments, feedback or whatever else is much much appreciated and loved!❤️

The photo Haven took of Zephaniah;
Pretend he isn't wearing socks haha

The photo Haven took of eating Zephaniah;

(If you don't imagine Zephaniah this way you don't have to look)