Haven

"It's a dinner meal, here? Pancakes, I mean." Zephaniah furrowed his eyebrows, pouting his lips lightly as his gaze was fixed upon the restaurant in front of us, his eyes blinking faster when they landed onto the flickering restaurant sign.

"Or for lunch, yeah. Can't imagine, can you?" I wondered, Zephaniah hummed. "They're like really big here, though. It's not to compare to the pancakes we know. Thin also, but not as thin as crepes. Plain ones are often eaten with treacle, some sort of apple butter or sugar. But, but!" I said, Zephaniah's eyes meeting mine. "You can also eat it with slices of bacon, apples, cheese, whatsoever. It's like, baked within already."

Zephaniah seemed skeptical still, glancing at me and back to the restaurant with his lips still pouted, eyebrows furrowed.

"Do you want to try it?" I wondered, chuckling lightly at his expression.

"I guess?" Zephaniah fiddled with his fingers, slowly licking his lips while he watched some people, that had just eaten there, leave. "They're not green." He mumbled out, laughing a little when he glanced at me. "It was a joke. People turn green when they're nauseous. That's a joke too, it doesn't happen in real life, only in cartoons. It is unrealistic.."

Laughing, I listened to him in amusement. The fact that he always pointed out that it was a joke warmed me, I thought it was sweet. "Let's go inside, then?"

"Alright, pannekoek." He pronounced the dutch translation funnily, chuckling because of himself. He hid it by biting his upper lip, though.

Chuckling myself, I took the lead and walked inside the restaurant, smiling when somebody from there walked over to me immediately. "Hi, can I help you?"

"Yes, uhm, I'd like to eat here with him. Is there a table available, still?" I asked, noticing how packed it already was.

The waitress, clicked onto her computer, scrolling for a brief moment until she nodded her head. "Yes! You're lucky. The next reservation would be in an hour. Is that enough time for the both of you to eat? Otherwise there will be a place available at four pm.."

I turned my face to Zephaniah, but he hadn't listened. He was whispering things to himself, his eyes falling onto the most random things- details I wouldn't ever see without him. "Zeph? Is an hour enough for us to eat?"

"Who eats hours?" He answered, his eyes meeting mine for a brief moment.

The waitress stifled a laugh, she most likely didn't know he was, in fact, pretty serious about it. I smiled, though, sighed softly. "As in, time? I mean, can you finish the food in an hour?"

"Sure." Zephaniah shrugged, his voice quiet as he noticed the woman in front of us. He turned his face away.

"Great! That's settled then. The table for two is over there, please follow me." The two of us followed the waitress towards a table that was, luckily for Zeph, at the back of the restaurant. I let him sit against the wall, so he had an overview of the restaurant, knowing it made him feel more at ease.

We sat next to the window, we could see the many tourists strolling by, the canals and boats being our view. It was lunchtime, that didn't stop the waitress from lightening a candle. I awkwardly cleared my throat, wondering if she was thinking it was a date, because in that case, she was wrong.

She placed a vase with two roses onto the table after that, handing us the menus. I simply thanked her, glancing at Zephaniah. He didn't link the roses and candle to something being romantic, it seemed. He hadn't said anything about it, only frowned at the rose.

"Never seen a restaurant who has roses on the table. It's like.. it's like as if she thinks it's for a date." He mumbled, looking up at me. His cheeks colored, but he rolled his eyes playfully to hide his embarrassment. "She thinks that? Oh."

"Yeah." I laughed, feeling my cheeks heat up as well. "That's what I thought." Quite surprised, that the realisation hit him, I also had to admit that I liked how his mind worked.

Zephaniah turned his face away, staring at the candle. He blew it out, sniffing the scent. "I love when it's out."

"Why?" I laughed, feeling amused.

"The scent when it goes out." Zephaniah answered, staring at the candle still. "Fire sucks."

"Do you think candles are romantic?" I genuinely wondered, wanting to know how he thought about certain things. Could he fall in love?

Zephaniah scrunched up his nose, suddenly looking a little shy after that. "My mind cannot always comprehend such principles. What has a candle gotten to do with love?"

"I actually don't know." I answered truthfully, his different mindset giving me so many different perspectives. Zephaniah, truly, made me think differently about so many, random as well, things and it was so interesting. "Maybe because it has this cosy, cuddly vibe?"

Zephaniah hummed a little, glancing at me. "Simba was walking too slow so I told him to Mufasa."

"What?" I chuckled at his extremely random comment, my eyes resting on his face.

Zephaniah chuckled, but an unsure expression appeared when he looked at me. "It's a joke. Mufasa sounds like move faster if you say it fast. Not really, actually, but the joke is meant to be- uhm, to be like that."

"Oh, I get it! I get it!" I cheered, saying mufasa out loud. Zephaniah's eyes twinkled, his tongue rolling over his bottom lip. "That one was actually quite good." I complimented, Zephaniah's cheeks coloring rosy.

"I did not make that up." He said quietly, his eyes lingering on the menu.

"That doesn't matter." I shrugged, watching how his slim and long fingers moved over the menu as he read the pancakes one after one. "Which one do you want?"

"Cheese and bacon, maybe?" He hesitated, giving me an unsure expression. "I know I like that and the structure of apple in a pancake feels off- feels off to me.."

"That's fine! It sounds really good, though, I think I'll go for apple and cinnamon, then." I smiled at him, watching as he played with his fingers. Once I had called over the waitress, I had ordered first, Zephaniah stammering out the name of his pancake after that. It bothered him, anyone could tell.

His cheeks were rosy, he was only staring down at the table.

"Zeph." I said, our eyes meeting. "You're you, and that's more than enough. Embrace yourself, like I embrace your uniqueness."

Zephaniah's lips curled up lightly, wrapping his arms around himself. "Like this?"

"Like that." I confirmed, watching him relax more. The pancakes came not much later, the taste was extremely good and it was filling- something the both of us hadn't expected.

Zephaniah was humming loudly, I didn't know if he noticed it himself, but I let him be. My heart fluttered at the sound, at the sight of him sitting and eating in front of me. My cheeks warmed, my mind racing with thoughts. Goodness, Zeph. If you only knew how much I liked you.

"I think the meaning of romance, being romantic, is just to be with your partner- relationship partner." Zephaniah said out of the blue, frowning lightly. "That okay?"

"It is. It totally is." I smiled contently, my gaze still fixed upon his face.

"Sorry, for humming so hard." He sighed a little, his cheeks flushing pink. "Is like, flapping hands, you know? It's a bit busy. I love the food, I hum when I enjoy something, words can't express my pleasure. It's busy, I hum to try and filter out other noises."

"You don't have to say sorry, it's more than okay." I answered truthfully. Do you focus on me too, sometimes, Zephaniah? I wondered still. "You know what? I'll sing along. Hum something good."

Zephaniah looked surprised, his green eyes meeting mine for a moment long. "Really?"

"Yeah! Why not?" I shrugged, taking another bite of my pancake.

Zephaniah swallowed down his bite as well, starting to hum a whole new world. It was from the Disney, Aladdin movie, which made me smile.

"I can show you the world.." I sang along, watching how he slowly moved his head to the music that was, probably, playing in his mind. He smiled at me, I smiled back. "Let me share this whole new world with you.."

When his pancake was finished, he stopped humming and I stopped singing, his cheeks were rosier than before. The both of us finished our drinks quietly, and when we had paid and left the restaurant, we walked over to the bike- hiring place.

"Do you like cycling?" I asked, watching some of the tourists stepping onto their bikes, falling off almost right away. Zephaniah was biting his upper lip to try and keep his laughter inside, I blurted it out once I saw his expression.

"I don't want to be like that." I laughed, watching how they clumsily sat back down, swaying from the right to left- almost into the canals.

Zephaniah glanced inside the hiring area, his eyes lightening up. "I want the tandem bike!" He flapped his hands in excitement, stopping when someone had glanced at him with furrowed eyebrows.

Sighing, I flapped my hands as well, cheering. "Me too! Me too! What the heck is a tandem bike?" I suddenly wondered, feeling content when Zephaniah laughed quietly at my flapping hands. I hoped he felt more comfortable flapping them around me- was it clear enough for him that I never minded it when he did that?

"Two bikes glued together, practically." He said quietly, smiling by himself. "Mum bought it for me and Dad. When mum was a caregiver. The front rider will steer and pedal, the rear rider only pedals. He cannot steer or hit the brakes. The two sets of cranks are mechanically linked by- by a timing chain and turn at the same rate."

"But, okay, I mean.. are you going to be the steersman or the rear rider?" I gulped, wondering if that was basically putting my life to risk.

"What' you want?" He said, his voice suddenly much softer. "I couldn't cycle so well when I was little, that's why we got it. Dad went before me, it's really fun. I can be the steersman? I can cycle well, now."

"You know what, let's do it." I said, realising this was the first time Zephaniah had decided something, and I wanted to give him the space to do that. I didn't know if he was realising it himself, because he usually became hesitant and shy when he had to decide something, but it seemed to go so naturally at this moment.

Zephaniah smiled, clasping his teeth together rapidly. "Yes, yes." He whispered by himself, flapping his hands again. Excitement was taking over him, which made my heart flutter shamelessly again.

"Hiya, what can I do for you?" The man questioned, his eyes on Zephaniah. Zephaniah stopped stimming, becoming awfully quiet for a brief moment, until he glanced at me.

"Uhm, I- uhm, can we get the tandem, maybe?" He stammered out, his eyes falling onto the bike. I smiled, I was proud of him.

"Sure thing! It has been reserved for somebody else in three hours, is that okay with you?" He questioned, Zephaniah nodding his head. The man started rambling about how the bicycle needed to be returned in the same condition as it was right now and more stuff that had to do with safety and such. I didn't think Zephaniah had followed everything as the man talked really fast, but when he had given the bike to Zephaniah and he had paid- he had mumbled out a soft thank you.

"I want to be the steersman." Zephaniah swung his leg over the saddle, adjusting himself. "Oh, sorry, Haven." He stepped off again, uncertainly looking at me. "Do you want to be the- the steersman?"

"Oh, no. Definitely not. I'll ride us into the canal, I suppose. Go ahead, lead me somewhere." I smiled, realising our tables were turned this time, and I enjoyed that a lot more than I probably should have.

Zephaniah adjusted himself again, I wanted to hold his waist with my hands, but figured the steer was more appropriate. "I do not know where to go.." He hesitated, sounding insecure all of the sudden.

"Just go, Zeph. We don't know the city, there's no wrong way. Explore!" I told him, Zephaniah relaxing a little.

"No wrong way, right?"

"No wrong way."

Once I climbed behind him, Zephaniah started cycling, my feet hitting the pedals as well. I squealed a little, the feeling of not being able to do anything except for pedaling scaring me. "Oh, how!" I shrieked, accidentally putting my weight to the left side as Zephaniah turned left, smoothly.

We cycled through the streets, Zephaniah finding a calmer place eventually, even when he had no trouble going through the mass of people without hitting someone. It surprised me a lot- he was a fast thinker when it came to the strategy of his cycling. He reacted to his environment right away, even when somebody would talk to him- he needed time to process it. This showed his complexed yet interesting mind. He was smooth, he was careful, yet he was fast.

He stood upon the pedals, lifting his bottom from the saddle. He sped forward, my eyes lingering on his hips. When he sat back down, the both of us pressing our feet on the pedals hard as we had to cross a bridge, I suddenly wondered so many things.

"You're so good at this, Zeph!" I panted, staring at the hair that came from underneath his beanie. I just wanted to wrap my arms around him, but I didn't really understand where the sudden, strong, urge came from. "How can you.."

"Daddy taught me." He breathed out loudly, the cycling taking away our energy. "When I was twelve I had him behind me instead- instead of me myself. Is fun, right?"

"It's fun, but scary. I have no say in anything, I have no control over anything. I can't steer to the place I want to go to, I can't hit the brakes when it goes too fast. I'm helpless, moving forward, only waiting to crash." I teased, but Zephaniah stayed silent for a while.

"Yeah," he said quietly. "Yeah, that's how the autism makes me feel sometimes."

~~~

I keep blessing you all with Zaven content :')

Thoughts?

Zephaniah not always understanding that may be more than logical for others?

Zephaniah's words at the end????

Zeph deciding??

He's blooming so much 💕

Let me know your thoughts!! Votes, feedback and comments much appreciated. x H

Stay safe, you all!! ❤️