Haven

Stuffing my earphone back into my ear as it had fallen out, my eyes landed onto the tiny waves that were tossed into the lake in front of me. The breeze made my hair flung to my face so now and then, though, I didn't really mind it.

Brushing my fingers over the book I had bought at Thomas' store, I opened it and flipped to the page I had read last, a smile appearing on my face. The book made me understand a lot, the book made me understand him.

Tucking my right leg underneath my left one as I crossed them, I got comfortable and started reading again after my eyes had roamed over the empty grass- fields, daisies the only thing occupying me.

It was about social interaction, the topic interesting me quite a lot. Taking a sip of my Iced latte Macchiato, my eyes quickly scanned the sentences, wanting to drown myself into the information, only to learn more about it, about him.

"The lack of social interaction with autism may not be due to a lack of the ability to process social and emotional signals, but because some signals are too intense, compulsively paid attention to, they are processed excessively, and they are remembered with terrifying clarity and intensity. Therefore- they may try to avoid the social situation next time." I read quietly, looking up to the sky to process the given information.

I tried to find him into it, but how well did I know him? Surely, I didn't know what was going through his mind during the day, or when he would lie in bed and would go to sleep.

"They may shut completely, due to the overwhelming storm of stimulus," suddenly, I remembered the day when William gave us the opportunity to order ice cream. Zephaniah had shut off completely when it was his turn, would this be the reason of that?

It could be.

Another smile formed onto my face, realising when Zephaniah didn't make eye contact or didn't really answer me, it wasn't about the fact that he didn't want to answer me, it was because of his autism and the many things that came with it. It made me feel relieved, more confident as I didn't want to bother him in anyway, I only wanted to help.

I thought back about the day when we had jumped the trampoline, the day I got to see him from such a different side. The energy he had had was absolutely insane, who could've known the calm guy had it in him? He'd been quite open, telling me the most random stuff so now and then, dog facts too. The conversation never went deep, but it didn't have to be.

I'd heard more of his beautiful voice, even in different ways as he ended up singing sometimes once he got lost in his staring- completely forgetting I was there. He would blush once he realised he did it in front of me- of course, but I didn't mind. He was himself, anyone could tell.

Maybe, maybe, if we had more moments like those- I'd get to know him even more, something I had weirdly enough wanted to happen. I just wanted to figure him out completely, autism was fascinating. Perhaps, he was too.

I wondered what he was doing at this very moment. It was around four in the afternoon, maybe he was walking his dog. Would he read? Eating could be an option too, his flat stomach seemed to be never full. It was quite sweet.

I plucked some daisies and started to string them, making a bracelet out of it. Slipping it on my wrist, I admired it for a while, then finally took it off with a sigh.

Throwing it away, I watched it as it flew through the sky, landing with an inaudible thud. Two crows curiously landed near it, perhaps hoping it'd been food I had thrown away.

I watched them for a while, my thoughts running wildly. Tara had given me Zephaniah's number- it was an impulsive action. She had told me he thought I'd come over still when I was sick. I was sad I couldn't tell him that I wouldn't come, but who knew he thought that way?

Hopefully, I hadn't made him too upset. I'd wanted to text him, but something held me back. Usually, I was too outgoing, would be the type to come up with plans, text people first and all that, but he was just.. different.

Perhaps, I was slightly nervous about my own feelings. How could I deny the slight flutter that appeared so now and then, when this specific guy was shamelessly going through my mind?

Goodness, Haven. How much had we seen each other?

Licking my lips, the faint taste of coffee filled my mouth- making me reach out to my Iced Coffee, taking another sip. Slouching back, I lightly tilted my head, letting the sun shine onto it.

No one had been home. Parents were working, so were my brothers. Cookie was sleeping, there was not much to do over there. The lake was peaceful, I couldn't resist coming here again with yet another book.

Only the lake would know how many books I had devoured at this beautiful place.

Clouds appeared not much later, blocking the warmth of the sun and sending goosebumps all over my body. I decided to head back home, it wouldn't be long until my father would come home. The book had given me a few questions, and I was sure he would be able to answer them.

So, as I stood up, I let the now empty Iced Coffee fall into the trashcan, clutched the book to my chest and jogged my way home, body warmth letting my goosebumps fade.

I smiled when I saw my dad's car parked in the driveway. He was early today. Opening the door with my own keys, I took off my shoes after that, looking around. "Dad, hi!"

"Haven," he replied, appearing in the doorstep, taking a bite out of his apple.

"Hey," I smiled, briefly closing my eyes after he had kissed my forehead, laying his hand on my hair after that. "How was your day at work? Was it busy?" I wondered as I sat down at the kitchen table, watching him as he ate.

He smiled, his eyes squinted lightly. "Good, Haven. Thanks. It wasn't too busy, I had something to do all day, which was good. A few new intakes- new pupils joining the school, which is always exciting."

"Ah, that's great, dad!" I said genuinely, giving him another smile. "Dad, do you have pupils with autism?"

Finishing his apple, he glanced at me, nodding. "Yeah, Haven. We do, why so?"

"It's complexed, isn't it? Autism, I mean. Everyone is so different," I mumbled out, plucking a few lightly turned brown petals from the plant in front of me, letting them fall onto the table.

Dad hummed and sat down across me, taking a sip of his coffee. "That is true, Haven. It is very complexed."

"Can you give me some examples? Like, how do the students with autism act?" I asked hesitantly, wondering if I, at all, made any sense.

He chuckled, briefly staring at me. "You read the book? They're all so different, Haven. No specific example."

"But just, the ones you know? What are they like? Quiet? Chatty?" I wondered, hoping I could ask more questions soon.

Dad stayed silent for a while, clearly thinking. "Well, we've got this little boy, he's always very hyper. He blurts things out without thinking, a little like you," he winked, making me chuckle. "He has no trouble with social interaction when it comes to that, other than that he says anything that's on his mind. However, it comes with learning. His concentration isn't too good and changing classrooms and subjects isn't his strongest side."

"We've got a girl that barely talks, she doesn't have the ability to do it. She communicates with the flashcards I created years ago, do you remember that?" He asked me, I nodded, remembering how helpful I'd thought they were for those children. "Girls and boys that sometimes talk, very shy ones, very hyper ones, some that have trouble learning, some that are highly intelligent. Anything, Haven."

"I get it," I said silently, biting the inner of my cheek in thought. "Do you have like, a quiet one? That seems to be wanting to talk, but something holds him back?"

"Perhaps, Haven. I don't teach every pupil, of course. Why?" Dad finished his coffee, the both of us greeting mum as she arrived back home as well, walking up the stairs to take a shower.

"I'm just wondering," I hesitated, my eyes roaming over the plant in front of me. "What if you want to help someone that has autism, what is the best way to do that? How can you help that person?"

"Exactly how you're doing that right now," He simply said, making me frown.

"What do you mean?" I looked up at him, seeing his always calm expression.

He cleared his throat, a soft smile appearing on his face. "Acceptance is everything. Respect them, the way they are. Where do I start.." He whispered, his eyes averting to the table. "I used to have a friend with autism, his name was Archie. He was very outgoing, I thought it was natural. But, later, I found out that he had a very tough time talking to people. Society didn't accept him, so he always suppressed his difficulties to try and be like the rest of us, to try and fit in. He fought extremely hard to cover up his autism, only to make friends and not stand out because he was suffering. But, the fight was too hard, he lost his energy, completely. It drove him insane, to the point where he.. where he travelled towards the coast, climbed the cliff and jumped down."

Dad's eyes glistened, and without really noticing it, mine did too. "You, Haven, you always accept people the way they are. I don't know if you have someone in your mind that has autism, but, all they need is acceptance. You'll never be able to 'solve' their difficulties. It only tires them out. Help, it's a beautiful thing, don't get me wrong, and it surely might get them somewhere, but pushing them to be different is something else."

"Dad," I breathed out, looking at him. "He was a good friend of you, wasn't he?"

He smiled and softly wiped his eyes, "For sure. Archie was a real friend, a good guy. He surely opened my eyes. He gave me purpose to start the Special School."

"Did he die right after?" I blurted out, though, it wasn't out of curiosity, just confirmation.

"Yeah," he whispered, though, a smile appeared on his face. "I was torn in two, he took half of me away when he went. We were always together, but, he found peace. No, for me it is not the way to solve problems, but, he has peace."

I nodded, thinking how awful that must've been. Wiping my nose, my mind went to Zephaniah. "Dad, if they- if they have problems talking to strangers, we can't stimulate them in some ways to do it? So, it will be easier for them next time they're talking? Just like ordering food somewhere, speaking in groups, making friends."

"They can get comfortable, Haven. That's a really good thing, so is stimulation, but you have to be so careful with that. Once it turns to slight pushing, some will give everything, just because you desire it. They'll cross their own borders. They'll drown." He explained, making me nod slightly.

"Haven, some people will teach them to ignore their own signals and feelings, so they get along in society, it ends up killing them. Sadly, literally sometimes. If they find something difficult- so it be, you know?"

"Listen to me, you like talking to new people, yeah? What if you're in the library, see a lot of new students but people tell you to hold yourself back and stay quiet. That would take you a lot of energy, wouldn't it?" He wondered, his eyes resting on my face.

I chuckled, quickly nodding my head. "For sure, I can't stay quiet for long."

"Exactly, now turn the tables. What if someone doesn't like talking to people, but people tell him to do it because well, society. It would only take away their energy as well, do you understand what I'm saying?" He asked, standing up to prepare himself a new cup of coffee.

I looked up at him in amazement, finding it so clear what he just told me. "Yeah, I get it."

"You can help insecure people with that, but autism works differently. Sure, some will come loose the older they get, which is more than amazing, but if not- so it be again. They struggle with that, and they most likely always will because it's something they got along with their autism, which is okay, more than okay even." He briefly ruffled my hair, and stared at me.

"Who's on your mind, Haven? Who do you want to help so bad?"

"Zephaniah," It came out before I even had the chance to think about it twice. "I want him to open up to me. He seems so insecure, but he's a good guy. The other peers take advantage of his quietness and innocence at times, it makes me want to shake him until he stands up for himself, but he doesn't do it. I just don't want people to harm him, he seems to be tired as well."

"Accept him, let him know that autism is more than okay. He processes things differently, so what? Do you remember when nana passed away? You cried for days, Jonah and Jude only became quiet. Just like everyone processes grief differently, so do they with the stimulus that are normal for us." He pressed a kiss to my cheek. "It's a shame that some people with autism feel the need to be so normal. The world needs diversity, they open eyes. They're unique."

"Thanks, dad. For your perspectives, they surely helped me." I suddenly smiled, looking up at him.

"No worries, sweet Haven. Why don't you invite him for the High Tea with sweet things mum wanted to prepare once she got grandma's recipes from your aunts?" He suggested, slowly shrugging his shoulders. "Let him know you want to be a friend, that you are his friend. That he's seen, even if it's by you only."

I smiled, slowly rolling my eyes. "Mum's wild ideas. I don't know if he.. dares it? I mean, he'll be very nervous, I think."

"Ask him, give him time to think, leave the option open." He shrugged again, softly pinching my cheek. "Thank you, Haven. For helping guys like him, it's so important."

"With my heart, dad. My heart only." I answered, my mind wandering back to Zephaniah.

~~~
Our sweet Haven..

Do you think she's interested in his autism only? Or do you think her feelings are, for her still unnoticeable, developing for Zephaniah himself?

Haven's dad friend Archie? :( sadly, its reality...

Don't hesitate to leave comments and votes, feedback is sooo much appreciated!! Much love,

Hannah