Haven

It'd been three weeks since we had heard about the trip to Amsterdam and I had finally awoken out of my over- excited days. Jude had shaken my shoulders about a thousand times, Jonah had simply smiled at me each time I brought up the well- known topic.

Jude would talk about plants on purpose, Jonah wrapping his hand around Jude's lips to listen to the same old Amsterdam story from me, throwing facts and Dutch words around. Mum and dad were happy for me too, perhaps even happier about the fact that the trip had been paid by tuition already.

Smiling by myself, I entered Zephaniah's cosy neighborhood. He had, much to my surprise, asked me himself if I wanted to study with him again at his house, as the library was still not done, and of course I had agreed to that.

He'd been very shy, clearly nervous to ask me as he was fiddling with his fingers, chewing on his bottom lip. His eyes had only met mine for a brief moment, but it was enough for me. I was more than happy that he had asked me, as I had the impression he didn't want us to study at his house anymore before, due to the week we had skipped.

Ringing the doorbell, his father opened the door not much later, letting me inside right away. "Haven, hello." He said softly, watching me as I took off my shoes and coat. "How have you been?"

"Very well, thank you!" I answered, a smile making its way upon my face. He had nice parents, the atmosphere in the house was comfortable, warm, welcoming. "Zephaniah had asked me himself to study, so," I chuckled carefully, actually not understanding myself what I meant to say with it.

"He did?" His dad answered curiously, his eyes lingering on me. I wondered why, he didn't ask further when I nodded my head. "Interesting, anyway, you can find him outside in the backyard, Haven."

"Oh, sure! Should I bring my study stuff outside?" I blurted out without thinking, not understanding myself again, because, why would his father decide that for me?

Though, I could tell he was hesitating, his eyes going from the window, back to me. "Maybe you can see what he's doing first. He's very hyper at the moment. Perhaps, he's jumping on the trampoline."

"Zephaniah hyper?" I blurted out, the disbelief was clearly audible in my voice, it made me blush because it was still his father I was talking to, after all.

He chuckled, much to my relief, and focused his attention back on me. "Oh, yeah. I know, he's usually very calm and reserved, but he has moments where he suddenly gets a lot of energy, no idea how or where. He's had it when he was little too. He'd sing his heart out, happily skip and jump beside us while holding my wife's or my hand, dancing with Cooper."

His eyes stood warm as he stared at one of the photo's that hung on the wall. Glancing at it, I noticed how Zephaniah, who wouldn't be older than nine years, was smiling with his teeth showing, his mother and father each kissing a cheek, them chubbed up slightly because of their lips pressed against them. His hands were neatly in his lap, his eyes not staring straight into the camera.

The photo warmed my heart, the love his parents had for him practically radiating off that photo.

"Sometimes he was so hyper, excitedly blurting out dog facts with stammers and stutters, hands flapping, squealing and jumping, that we decided to buy him a trampoline so he'd get at least some of the energy out of him." His father chuckled, shaking his head. "It did help, but, sometimes he jumps himself into exhaustion."

"Therefore, I'm not quite sure if studying will work today," he smiled sheepishly, as if he was afraid I would mind.

"That's totally okay," I smiled back at him, feeling excited to see what Zephaniah was up to. "If we could have a nice conversation, that'd be enough for me."

"He'll come loose at his time, Haven. Patience is all you need with him, something not many people.." He trailed off, staring somewhere into the distance. Then, he stood up, shoving his chair away. "I need to get back to work. I'll be in my office if you guys need anything. Go find him outside."

He gave me one last smile, which I returned, secretly thinking about his words. Many people didn't have patience, therefore didn't give Zephaniah a chance, that must've been what he'd wanted to say.

Slipping my shoes back on, I quietly made my way into the backyard, my eyes searching for the raven haired guy. It didn't take me long to find him, the creaking of the trampoline and his soft, but deep voice leading me towards a quiet place somewhere behind the house.

It was calm, it was peaceful. Other than the trampoline, a few trash cans, large trees and a wooden fence, nothing was seen. They had, most likely, placed the trampoline here on purpose.

Standing there for a while, he hadn't noticed me. He was completely lost into his own world, jumping around and effortlessly making a few salto's, landing on his feet. He sometimes sang, only a few words before they turned into soft hums when he made the salto.

Cooper had lied down beside the trampoline, looking up at me, though, didn't make his way over.

Zephaniah was wearing some denim trousers, a slightly oversized, warm orange sweater on top of it. It looked good on him, it was his colour. He wiped his fringe off his sweaty forehead, and when he landed on his bum instead of his feet after the salto, he lied down, staring up at the sky as his knees were pulled up.

I could've watched him for ages, though, decided it was time to let him know I was here. Walking over to him, I simply rested my hands on the trampoline, staring at him. "Zephaniah,"

He hadn't heard, he was staring at something I couldn't see, his lips parted as he tried to restore the lost oxygen, catching his breath. His eyes blinked rapidly at times, then he suddenly sat up.

"Zeph," I said again, his bright green eyes suddenly meeting mine.

"Haven," he answered with a slight gulp, "You startled me." He admitted, his cheeks colouring.

I couldn't help but laugh softly, dragging myself upon the trampoline. "I'm sorry, it wasn't my intention to." It stayed silent after that. "How are you doing?"

Zephaniah licked his lips, wiping his fringe away once again, "I have very much.. energy. I can't study today," he admitted quietly, voice barely above a whisper.

Though, I smiled widely, looking at him. "That's fine. I'm happy you told me."

Zephaniah looked away, his eyes lingering on the trampoline. "You said it's okay to say- to say if you don't want it, or can't. Right?"

I wondered what he meant, until I realised he was talking about the time where he thought he had to answer Luke's question about his mum, or when Tara stole his samosas. I had told him he didn't have to, that it was okay if he didn't want to. It made me feel a tad bit proud, that he had dared to admit something like that to me.

"It totally is." I smiled at him, watching as he stood up and began to jump again.

Carefully, though, as I could tell he was aware of my presence. He held back, but he didn't have to. "You can jump as hard as you want, I don't mind." I chuckled, watching him in amusement.

Zephaniah's lips curled up slightly, for a brief moment, glancing at me. "I, uhm, can be weird, though."

The fact that he was aware of his behaviour- which wasn't strange to me at all-, made me surprised, more interested about him. "Be yourself, I like that the most."

Zephaniah nodded, his eyes briefly staring at me at times, before they went back to his surroundings- the trees, specifically. "Mum says so, dad too,"

He sighed deeply, clasping his teeth together rapidly while letting out a few hums. It made me chuckle, it made me realise how pure he was, how he was himself around me at this very moment.

"Sometimes," a deep breath left his mouth, "I just want to sing," another deep breath as he jumped, "childhood songs."

"So you do that," I answered, my body bouncing lightly each time his feet hit the trampoline.

Zephaniah hummed something I couldn't quite hear, because in no time, he was distracted. He stood still abruptly, his eyes lingering on the large trees above him. "Why do you always feel the need to hide?" He sounded genuinely confused.

"What? Me?" I wondered, a slight frown forming on my face when I looked at him.

"No," he blushed, glancing at me. "Sorry."

"You don't have to say sorry." I gave him a soft smile, watching him as he started jumping again. Perhaps, because he was in his own, safe and familiar area, he dared to talk slightly more than he did at university.

He sighed again, and let himself fall onto his bum. "Dad and I found this little bird when I was.." his eyes moved up to the sky again, them roaming around for a while, "Nine years old and seven months. Dad was twenty seven. The bird was sick, we took care of him and he some- sometimes sat in our garden but now he never shows himself anymore."

"Oh, maybe he's dead? It can be another one," I blurted out, wanting to slap myself as I was afraid it would hurt Zephaniah. Though, his innocence didn't mean that his mind was still like a child, he was a grown guy, just like the rest of our peers.

"Most likely," Zephaniah shrugged and started to jump again, actually making me wonder about how much energy he had. This side was so different of him, but I loved it so much. He was open, it was as if he was warmed up to me too.

He let out a small squeal and flapped his hands rapidly, his lips parted as he breathed through his mouth. "I have," deep breath, "too much," deep breath, "energy."

Zephaniah started to shake his head, clasping his teeth together once again. It made me laugh, softly, just because I was enjoying the moment.

"Zeph?"

"Yeah?" He answered politely, trying to jump a little slower, his eyes not meeting mine.

"Why do you flap your hands?" I wondered genuinely, wanting to know if he knew why he did it himself.

Zephaniah only started to flap them harder, jumping higher after my question, though, he quickly hid them for me. For a moment I thought he wouldn't answer me, but he did, eventually. "I try- I try to gain back control over my emotions and feelings."

He let himself fall, lying onto his back and he kept staring at the sky in silence for a while, his chest rising and falling rapidly. "I'm dead now."

"No way," I whispered, making my way over to him and sitting down beside him. Pressing my finger to his wrist, against his vein, I couldn't help but notice how soft and smooth his skin was, how warm it was, how he didn't flinch away now I was touching him.

He frowned, glancing at me, "It was a joke."

"I know," I chuckled, staring back at him. "I played along. Trying to feel your heartbeat in your veins, you know."

Zephaniah blushed, "I was gonna say," he hesitated, his shyness suddenly coming back. "Autistic people can get jokes. Shocking." He whispered, genuinely making me laugh.

"So, you do know?" I wondered, staring at the way his tongue rolled over his bottom lip, his eyes roaming all over the sky. "That you have autism, I mean? Just being curious! If you don't want to answer, it's totally okay."

Zephaniah stayed silent for an awfully long moment, making me wonder if my question had hurt him in anyway. But, maybe he just needed to process my many words. "Dad explained," he answered simply. "Always had, when I was little too. I know it, I notice it too."

"How does it make you feel? I mean, what do you think of the fact that you have autism?" I questioned him, curiosity getting ahead of me.

He licked his lips once again, then slowly sat up, crossing his legs. He wiped some of the flower petals that had flown onto the trampoline away, his slim fingers working quickly, as the mess bothered him. "You have brown hair, I have black hair, you have miss- shot earrings, I have autism." He said simply, glancing at me.

It made me laugh again, genuinely, he was simple, he was pure. But that made him interesting, that made me like him, a lot more than I should, perhaps.

He suddenly gulped, his cheeks colouring red, "I'm sorry, I did not want to hurt you. I mean- I just meant to say that- that it's normal? It makes me.. Zephaniah." He blushed deeply, pulling faces at himself, as if he was frustrated at his own answer.

It made me feel sad, my laughter fading to a small smile. "You didn't hurt me, Zephaniah. I understand you. Your example is clear." Playing with my earrings, I kept searching for eye contact, but it was still hard for him. "Besides, no one has ever noticed that they weren't shot at the same spot. You have, and that's impressive."

"Oh," he blushed, his eyes roaming over the trees, "Yellow is my favourite colour." He changed the subject, the pinkness still visible on his cheeks. "Ochre, to be specific and warm orange," he whispered, pulling faces at himself again, frowning, shaking his head softly. He started biting his fingernails, clearly waiting for me to answer him.

"I love those colours, they're warm. They might be my favourite too, actually." I said honestly, craving to at least, see some of the bright green of his eyes, though, they averted to the trampoline beneath us.

He hummed shortly, finally, but briefly glancing at me. "Ik ben Zephaniah."

My smile grew wide, and if I said I was feeling impressed- it would be an understatement. "You remember the Dutch words, wow!" I cheered, intensely staring at him, because how could he? It'd been weeks, and it took me days to learn.

"You told me last time," He blushed still, wiping his nose with the sleeve of his sweater. "You, uhm, want to jump too?"

"Sure, why not?" I smiled, getting to my feet.

Zephaniah, looked up at me as he was still seated, his eyes big, the brightness always present. "Oh, uh, maybe if you don't want to, it's okay."

It took me a little while to realise he was answering my rhetorical question, my saying, making me smile again. "I want to. Okay, who can jump the highest?"

He won.

~~~

Zavennn. A different side of Zephaniah. Did you know he had it in him? Or did it come as surprise?

I wrote this weeks before Trampoline came out so I was like woww haha. Added it just for fun.

Info; stimming.

As you have read, Zephaniah flaps his hand, and has done this ever since he was a little child. Flapping hands can be something thats called 'stimming' in autism. Even his humming could be stimming.

"Stimming" refers to self-stimulating behaviors, usually involving repetitive movements or sounds, it's also a diagnostic criteria for autism.

It's not always easy to determine the reason for stimming. It's a coping mechanism that can serve a variety of purposes. For example, a person with autism may be trying to:

-stimulate the senses or decrease sensory overload
-adapt to an unfamiliar environment
-reduce anxiety and calm themselves
-express frustration, especially if they have trouble communicating effectively
-avoid certain activities or expectations

Zephaniah hums when he's enjoying something like food or activities he does. Zephaniah flaps his hands when he experiences a strong emotion- he focuses on his flapping hands in order to try and reduce the strength of the emotion he's experiencing/ just focusing on something else to protect from overstimulation.

Where do you recognize Zeph in when you see the list of reasons of stimming above??

I hope this is clear!!