Zephaniah

Five months later

The gravel path crunched beneath my feet, the small stones stabbing the back of them through my pretty worn out fake, black slip on 'Vans'. I had had them ever since I was little, only having to buy a bigger size two or three times throughout the years.

They had always been my favourite shoes, so switching seemed unneccessary, especially since I had pretty much based every outfit I wore on those shoes. Not forgetting to mention that I never really liked switching. Shoes, other materialism or schools. It wouldn't matter, I just didn't like it.

"Don't your paws hurt, Coop?" I wondered quietly, watching my dog as he happily skipped beside me, tail wiggling in satisfaction.

Smiling, I looked up at the blue sky as chirping birds flew over us, loudly announcing that spring had finally arrived. It seemed to do good to people, as people I hadn't seen in ages, were suddenly outside again. Mostly the elder ones, as their bones started to hurt in winter, the coldness boring the pain through them shamelessly during those dark days.

Almost every garden I passed, was either occupied by the elder watering their plants or planting seeds, or families that gathered together, cold drinks placed on the table.

I blushed once I made eye contact with one of them, quickly looking away and focusing on Cooper instead. He was sniffing around, guarding his territory as he lifted his leg and sprayed a little urine.

Scrunching up my nose, I pulled the beanie further over my black hair, staring at the unstructured tiles on the ground. Some were black, white dots of damaging visible on them, while some where grey. I wasn't sure if they were bleached because of the sun, or because they did it on purpose.

I had always stared at it, each time I walked over them. It had always bothered me. Why couldn't they just put the same colour, in neat rows? It was probably made like this on purpose, but it was messy and that automatically made it busy in my head.

Cooper poked my leg with his snout, whining a little. I moved my attention to him, knowing he did this to distract me- to prevent me from becoming upset about certain things. "What do you think about all of t-this, Cooper?"

He didn't answer. He never did, but he didn't have to. Talking to him always made me feel better about myself. It was my way of coping with certain things. Other people expressed themselves in singing, writing probably. This was my way.

We walked past number one hundred and two, the old woman I hadn't known the name of, but waved every single time I walked by with Cooper. She did so today as well. Smiling shyly, I waved back at her, trying to hold eye contact for more than five seconds.

She was always sitting in the same chair, with either a book or the newspaper on her lap. I wondered if she was alone, if she felt alone. Baba had suggested for me to stop by one day, but I had never dared to do so.

Walking over a small bridge that crossed a small water stream, Cooper and I arrived at the other side of the road, where more houses and lively gardens were seen. Someone had just been mowing, the smell of fresh grass filling my nose.

For some reasons, I thought the smell of recently cut grass was oddly satisfying, and I stood still for a moment, closing my eyes to feel the sun and sniff the scent. It was peaceful outside at this very moment, so I felt calm and not too much distracted.

That, until the man started mowing again, making me flinch at the sudden loud noise. I frowned a little and quickly walked further, huffing. I stared at the ground again, noticing a lot of things that Baba and Mum wouldn't ever see.

Blades of mowed grass that had flown to the side of the road because of the slight breeze, along with a trampled, empty coca cola can. Gum was spit out at several places, negatively decorating the streets. On the one stone, more sand was glistening in the sun, the other stones were cleaner, therefore dull.

Cars were starting to drive by, they all seemed to be in haste, making me look up and frown at them. Things were becoming loud and busy. I wanted to go home. Cooper simply licked my hand, looking up at me with those big brown eyes.

I smiled and crouched down in front of him, touching his ears. Staring at his hairs, I kissed his snout and stroked his back for a while, calming down.

Suddenly, I heard a lamb bleating, startling me, but in a surprisingly nice way. When were they born? I wondered, looking up at the small farm that Baba and Mum took me to.

The first few times were a fight, as I had a lot of trouble going to places I didn't know. Because, I didn't know what it looked like, which sounds there were or what kind of people. A situation like that made me feel out of control, and that had always upset me to the point where I would get meltdowns.

That's why I always walked the same route with my dog. Though, I was grateful for the fact that Baba and Mum never gave up, and coaxed me out of my safe place. I had made good memories at this small farm with Baba and Mum, and it eventually became one of my happy places.

I just needed a push in the right direction sometimes, and Baba, Mum and Cooper had always helped me with that. Because of them, I had seen amazing places I wouldn't have ever seen if they hadn't helped me out of my comfort zone. Of course, I still had trouble with it, but for now, I just wanted to let my mind wander to the days where I was little.

Four lambs were running around in their grass land, happily bleating and jumping. I smiled, a chuckle even left my mouth as I watched them in awe.

"Cute, aren't they? They were born only three days ago." The farmer suddenly spoke up, startling me out of my stare moments.

My cheeks heated up and I tried to think of what he said. Eventually, his words dawned to me and I nodded. "S cute," I said quietly, looking away as I blushed lightly.

"Zephaniah. You've grown so big. I'll never forget you, though. Your father was afraid of chickens, right?" The man with the dirty hands and sweaty forehead spoke as he leaned his arms on the stick of the broom he was holding.

My father was afraid- "Yeah, yeah." I laughed softly, not making eye contact as I felt ashamed about the fact that I sometimes took a little longer to answer, the words needing to process in my mind.

"Still not much of a talker, huh? Say my greetings to your parents," He smiled softly, continuing to broom the path.

"I will," I whispered, watching how he neatly shoved the sand and hay off his path, satisfying me, though the sound of it was rather loud. The broom scraped over the path with its harsh 'hairs', making me shiver lightly.

"Will go home now, okay?" I quietly told Cooper, returning to the small bridge, crossing the water and walking back past the houses, suddenly stopping as I noticed a dog, sunbathing on a trampoline.

I laughed, watching the Golden Retriever as he rolled onto his back, four paws in the air. "Now that is a way to relax, Cooper." I chuckled as I watched the dog for a few minutes more, then realising I probably should head home as I would have dinner with Baba and Mum.

I arrived not much later through the backyard, releasing Cooper from his leash. Baba and Mum were gardening as well, Dad planting and Mumma watering.

"Zeph, hey! We were just waiting for you. Dinner is ready. You fancy eating outside?" Baba smiled, tapping my cheek as I walked past him.

I smiled back, noticing how happy he seemed. "Okay. I do fancy eating outside." Shrugging, I slipped off my coat as I had walked myself warm, neatly taking off my shoes as well, placing them on the doormat and walking back outside barefoot.

"What's for dinner?" I wondered, sitting down at the picnic table we still had standing in our backyard, watching Mum as she washed her hands and walked over with a pan.

"Dad made your favourite Chicken Curry." Mum smiled at me, taking off my beanie and ruffling my hair. "You should leave this off, probably. You're warm, sweetheart."

I nodded in agreement, wiping my forehead. "Walk made me warm. Good food," I hummed, peeking into the pan.

"You had a good walk, buddy?" Baba asked me, sitting down after he set the table.

I hummed again, watching as Mum stuffed my plate full. "Lambs are born, at the small farm. And the farmer, uhm, said to do greetings. Then I saw a dog on a trampoline, sunbathing." I laughed again, thinking back about it.

"Really? Where?" Baba asked, chuckling as well, while Mum simply smiled at me with a fond look on her face.

I folded my hands and thought about it for a while, trying to re-walk the route in my head from today. Eventually, after a minute or so, I remembered and parted my lips to talk. "Uhm, number one hundred and seven."

"I see, the Golden Retriever." Dad confirmed, making me smile in surprise because I knew, most of the time, he had to think twice about things I said. Which I didn't blame him for at all. We stayed silent for a moment, praying for our food.

Once we were all done, I started eating, separating the rice with sauce from the chicken. Baba didn't understand, he said it tasted much better to eat it mixed, but I didn't like the different structures at once. He knew now, so he never mentioned things about it anymore.

Baba and Mum were sitting across me, the both of them glancing at me sometimes. I would simply smile at them while eating, the flavours of my Dad's cooked food satisfying me. "Good, baba." I hummed, my leg bouncing up and down.

"I'm glad, Zeph." He smiled, the crinkles forming by his eyes as he lightly pinched my cheek. "Are you looking forward to start University, soon?"

I immediately stopped bouncing my leg, my appetite fading slightly. My throat became dry instead, my heart racing as I thought about it. "I don't want to," I admitted sadly, playing with the chicken on my fork.

"We know," Mumma said quietly, her calmness soothing me.

"A-and now I'm known as the Epileptic guy," I swallowed, remembering how I had a seizure as the warmth, big crowd, new stimulus, and sleep deprivation from the night before had triggered one. Way to go, Zeph.

Baba looked sad. He took a sip of his water, searching for my eyes. "Only shows your strength, Zeph. You'll be fine, yeah? You'll feel lost at first, as you'll need to get used to your new structure, new education and people, but in no time- you'll feel okay. I promise."

"Yeah, and I work in the library, love. You'll have me close," Mum reassured.

"Okay," I said sadly, wanting to move on from the topic as it scared me.

"Tell me about those lambs you saw. And are there still chickens?" Baba said, smiling, successfully distracting me as I was easy to be distracted. I usually didn't mind when he did it, knowing he did it for a good cause.

I knew my mind wandered to random things all the time, I knew I had stare moments at times, but Baba and Mum had never minded it.

I couldn't say the same about everyone else. Because, yeah, I knew I sometimes needed a little more time to process given information, as my mind was full of loose strings, while they were already attached in someone else's mind.

I knew I sometimes stuttered or stammered, or took things literal, not understanding all jokes or expressions, I knew I had trouble making eye contact at times, I knew I would hum when I was enjoying something, I knew I flapped my hands when I was experiencing an extreme emotion such as sadness, happiness or excitement, because somehow, people always felt the need to point that out.

I never understood why people treated me differently, because although some things worked differently in my brain, I was just like the rest of them. A guy with hobbies, a guy with interests, love for his family and dog, a student, a believer, a guy like you and him.

Just, Zephaniah.

~~~

Zephaniah's point of view.. who would've thought?

What are your opinions on this??

New: I'll add a fact/ information about autism to hopefully, let you understand Zephaniah a bit more on every chapter!

You can compare information to tiny jigsaw pieces. When we, people without autism, receive information, the jigsaw pieces automatically complete and fit right away in our puzzle (our minds) When people with autism get information, it doesn't go automatically and the loose jigsaw pieces need time to fall onto place and therefore it takes longer for them to process certain information, or give a meaning to them.