Ten years from now, make sure you can say that you chose your life.
That you didn't settle for it.

A LETHAL PUNCH.

Rain ducked.
A faster-than-the-wind kick followed.
She backed up, grabbing Jin's leg, twisting and pushing him back.
Jin spun once more, jumped, and landed the hit.
Rain gasped, air whooshing out as she landed on her ass.

"What the hell, Rain?!" Jin yelled as he ran like the wind to pick her up.

 
"I'm fine" she rasped, grabbing his hand, heavily breathing, she retreated to the side of the dojo.
"Water break," she barely stated.

Jin narrowed his eyes at her. "What the hell were you thinking? If you were in a real fight, you would have been dead with that maneuver," he kept on, as Rain was clearly ignoring him, patting the sweat on her neck with a towel. "Might as well call it a day. Your mind is clearly somewhere else." He shook his head before taking a sip from his bottle as well.

"The weird thing is how you can have your mind set on training with all the shit that's going on!" She spat.

Jin furrowed his eyebrows. "I thought you were determined."

"I am!"

"It doesn't appear so," he snorted.

With her stare fixed on an invisible spot on the dojo floor, she murmured, "Doesn't it get to you? Doesn't it mess with your head?"
She didn't have to specify what the it she was referring to was. If anyone could understand what she was feeling at the least, that would be Jin.
Jin, who was on Nanami's side. Who loved her. Still, probably. Who doesn't know shit about what she was plotting. Who tolerated all the secrets and the lies. And probably looked good while doing it.

Jin crossed his arms. "Nanami does what she wants. She always has." There was a faint tint of bitterness in his words. "But It doesn't mess with your head when you are sure about it." His tone was firm. "About what you have, and it surely doesn't, when you know in your bones that it's worth it. It's more than trust. It's a leap of faith. It rounds up to it bothers you if you choose so." He gave her a faint smile. "So no. It doesn't bother me." He picked up a towel as well, sweat glistening like mist on his forehead. "If you are indeed determined, then you have to accept that this kind of life, being associated with the highest person in the ranks of a mob clan, requires an unlimited amount of patience. You must be determined enough to accept that there will be times that the two of you won't talk for days. That he will do a fuckton of stupid crap to appear powerful and strong to the others. That you won't be favored. At least, never before the eyes of others. That he will keep secrets from you. And that's for your own good. That he will put the clan always before what the two of you have. And foremost, don't judge him for that. Because at the end of the day you would -and had- done the same."

Rain smiled, thinking of her jingi rule —what goes around comes around—but didn't dare to utter it.

"You would have to settle. Endure the cold, the loneliness, and the blood that comes with this life Rain, just for the opportunity for a ray of sunlight here and there.'' Raising from the bench, he winked at her. "I know you have what it takes. But only you know if you are up for it.''
He gathered his knives with reverent grace, making his way to place them back on the wall of the other room.

Settle. The mere term bothered Rain. She would settle for an ice tea instead of coffee on a hot day, she used to settle for a boring Netflix movie with a guy so she could fuck him at the end of the night. Maybe even settle for an ugly borrowed sweatshirt when it was cold as fuck. But settle when it came to her entire existence...

A message tone rang on their phones simultaneously, Jin's the basic beep that comes with a phone, and Rain's started ringing with watermelon Sugar high.

''Covert.'' Jin deadpanned. ''I would say it's Suga but probably everyone with ears knows that before you even look at your screen.''

''Shut up, I'll change it.'' She huffed, throwing her towel.

''Please leave it. Until I tell Jimin and the next day it will be on the news. Then the whole clan can make fun of the hardcore bloody Rain that is so in luuuv that listens to harry styles,'' he grinned.

''I'll literally kill you with your own knives if you do that!'' She deadpanned.

''Save the love threats for someone else,'' he winked again making his way to the elevator, murmuring something to himself, like, ''at least you don't have to pretend to be as useless as a bodyguard to the deadliest woman in existance, just to be around.''

Rolling her eyes she pulled out her phone.

S: Meeting in 5 minutes.

Rain snorted and wrote back:

RR: Don't give me orders. Unless it's of the other kind. 

S: Three minutes sweetheart.

RR: Don't call me sweetheart.

S: Two minutes.

Rain wondered how disrespectful it would be if she send a middle finger emoji as a reply, however, she didn't protest further, thinking it would be better to deliver the gesture face to face. Until then, she wondered.

If that's all her life soon will become.

Training, and being a mere good-looking accessory next to the actual person that holds all the power.

By the time Rain was up to the loft, Suga was leaning against the kitchen counter, typing something on his phone. On the table there was set enough food to feed an army, yet, no one else appeared to be around.
''That was ten minutes,'' he said before lowering his phone and taking a good look at her. ''What the hell happened to you?''

Rolling her eyes she approached. ''Jin's left punch. And kick.''

He snorted, not giving too much attention to it, but Rain knew that behind his facade was worry. So she headed for the corridor that would take her to her room.

''Eat breakfast with me,'' he said.

There was a note in his words that made her pause. A note that she swore was stronger than worry. Desperation.

Rain twisted, her loose shirt sliding over her shoulders, her waist. She hadn't realized how much weight she had lost. Despite things slightly creeping back to normal.

''Don't you have other things to deal with?'' She murmured, eyeing the fruits and eggs and toasted bread and cake and orange juice, and god how much he thought she could eat?

"Of course, I do,'' Suga shrugged. ''I have so many things to deal with that sometimes I'm tempted to kill everyone. Just to buy me some fucking peace.'' He smirked. ''But I'll always make time for you.''

Rain kept eyeing the food because she couldn't lift her stare to face him at that moment. And confirmed that was indeed worry behind his cocky, insufferable grin.

So she pulled a chair to sit. ''Where is everyone?'' She asked even if she knew that it was too coincidental for them to be alone.

''Away. They had duties to attend to.''

Rain took a bite of some sliced apples. ''All of them?''

''Yes.''

Rain refrained from pushing, even if she knew there was no such thing as an unexpected business that came up in the middle of the fucking day, out of the fucking blue, for all fucking six clan members.

''And Violet?''

Suga paused from a pancake just to say, ''With J-hope. He took her to a doctor for a check-up. Whatever they do after it's up to her.''

A wave of relief passed through Rain. Still looking at her plate, she whispered, ''thank you.''

Suga made a show of leaving his fork down and narrowing his eyes on the ceiling.

"What are you doing?"

''Just checking if the ceiling is gonna fall on us. Since you said thank you,'' he grinned.

''Shut up, you idiot,'' she smiled, annoyed.

Little rays of sun, here and there. That's what matters.

It was easy. Relaxing and fun.
They didn't talk until their plates were empty and Rain was heaping more food into hers.

''I don't know you as well as you know me," she toyed with a cherry tomato on her plate, "but I can tell. You are testing the waters for something.'' This time, she lifted her stare to him. Waited, as he looked back at her, as he set his fork on his plate, not intending to resume.
''Well, it was fun for as long as it lasted.'' Bitterly, she leaned back on her chair. ''Shoot then. What are you waiting for?'' Looking away once more, she brought a cigarette to her mouth, signaling the end of this breakfast. "You clearly have something to say to me. "Something I won't like."

Suga remained silent. Held her stare.

"In fact," Rain added, "something you know I won't like sooo much, you went as far as sending everyone away, afraid of how I will react. Something so big, and yet, once more everyone knows except me." Her smile was mirthless. Yet, she kept her pose calm. Calculative.

Suga opened his mouth—

"And yet! I am so fucking sure that whatever you are going to say, is not ever from the range of things I want to learn, per se, why exactly Nanami faked her death? Where the hell is she? Why exactly did you hide you were the Oyabun in the first place? What was a secret so big she waited for a fucking thunder to hit to make sure no one else would hear it? What is that big secret of yours, Suga?" Her challenging grin made him tense. As if he could read the unspoken things of her mind. Hold onto those little secrets of yours, Nemesis. Because I'm going to have one hell of a good time unraveling them.

Yet, Suga kept his cool as a fucking penguin in Antarctica. Undeterred, and smirking, he took Rain's cigarette, and she tried and failed to slap his hand.

''Let's not pretend that you haven't figured out some of those on your own. You just don't want to miss the opportunity to watch me squirm. And if you specifically want to hear me say those things, the terms were crystal clear." he exhaled the smoke from his nose. ''Did you give my offer any thought?"

The three truths for EVERYTHING offer.
One. Say it. Admit that you can't stop thinking about me. Out loud.

Two. Tell me the real reason you have sworn your life to me.

Three, tell me why you left after you had promised to stay.

You tell me those three things, and I tell you  e v e r y t h i n g.

"I prefer to ascend to the ninth circle of Hell from Dante's inferno." She smiled, narrowing her eyes.

''But if you feel them and don't say them... well, that's cheating,'' he pointed at her with his cigarette still grinning.

Rain was fuming, but instead of keep fighting for her cigarette, she just lit a new one. And held it in a way that looked like she was lifting a middle finger.

Suga resumed into solemness. Smile fading off, he took a big inhale.
"There are some things that are going to happen. Things that I don't want you to be part of. Or in the middle. In fact, nowhere near.''

''What?!'' Rain scoffed. ''No.''

''No?''

''No!'' She repeated intently. And crossed her arms. Even her stupid cigarette crossed its proverbial arms.

''You don't even know what I'm talking about yet. And by the way, you can't say no. Just saying.''

''Oh, cry me a fucking river! Are you talking to me as my boss or my boyfriend?''

Insert atomic bomb explosion GIF in Suga's head here.

Suga opened his mouth again. Words didn't come out as he was in a middle of a stroke —which included the word boyfriend echoing in his head and his heart warming— and closed it again as he found himself unable to produce words.

''Well?'' Rain demanded. Maybe she downplayed that she blurted that word accidentally and was in the middle of a similar crisis as well.
Boyfriend. What a stupid word. And in their case, for all the things they've been through, it was completely meaningless.
Boyfriends you have in high school. Boyfriends you have when you date.
When you are in a fucking mafia clan, having a boyfriend (especially the fucking oyabun of the said clan) would mean to... settle.

When Suga was finally able to speak again, the sound came out just a tint above a whisper.
"I would like to say both. But this isn't something we have discussed. And definitely not something I would jump to a conclusion to assume. So what are you saying Rei?"

"Perhaps we should discuss it. I don't want to end up giving wrong impressions."
Settle. The word kept repeating in the background of her head like an alarm.
Settle for life. A fate worse than death.

"What is it that you exactly want, Rei?"

"I don't know yet. Perhaps I want to find out. Perhaps... we could try restarting from where we left it."

"Too bad we are not a Microsoft windows pc." Suga deadpanned.

"I'm just saying that we can figure it out as we go," she lifted her reluctant stare. "I know and I will always remember my oath. But all I'm saying is it's just... I wish... I wish I could spend the rest of my days here, with you and the others because I want to. Not because I've sworn it."

"You changed your mind?" The way Suga said that was almost as if someone had shot him.

"No." She looked down.

"You are a terrible liar." Suga's smile was the saddest that Rain had ever seen. Almost like he had predicted this. Waited and now got his confirmation. "But okay."

"Okay?" Rain didn't expect him to be so... accommodating. But then again, she should have learned by now that Suga was always whatever she expected him the least to be. A complete mindfuck.

"Yes. It's okay." He drank from his orange juice.

''Fine!'' Rain uncrossed her arms, only to cross them again more fiercely. The problem you see, when you are so used to fighting, is that you don't know how to react when others let you have it your way.

Suga chuckled. "You're so cute when you do that."

"Fuck off."

"No." He leaned back on his seat, fitting his arms behind his head. " I wanted many times to tell you that. And other things. So why shouldn't I?" He smiled.

"Shut up," Rain huffed looking outside, her cheeks fiery red.

"Rei," Suga grinned, "you are fucking adorable."

"And you are...!"

Suga waited. Watched as she struggled and huffed and looked around, trapped like a cat in a box.

And while she was still in a brain freeze and expecting it the least, he rounded the table, hugged her from the back, and kissed her on her neck, just below her ear, watching and feeling all the goosebumps spread on her skin.

Mine. She mouthed the word. Didn't let it show. Instead, she basked into the little sunray of his hug, until he retreated, pulling out the chair closer to her, to sit.

''It's really bad, isn't it? Whatever you have to announce." She smiled after a drag when she remembered that there was still a reason he had called her there for.

''Yes.''

A big fat heavy silence filled the air among them once again. Like a boulder.

Suga let it enough to become insufferable. As if he was testing Rain.

"However," he broke it, eyes filled with intent and determination focused solely on her, like nothing else was on the planet except the two of them and nothing else mattered, "I want you to make the choice for yourself. If you are in or out."

Rain furrowed her eyebrows, waited, and fast blinked as if the person before her was talking in a language she not just didn't know how to speak, but wasn't aware it existed and didn't know how to process that.
Error. Unknown type of feeling or expression detected. Proceed with caution.

"And frankly, I'd be an idiot to not acknowledge that you not only can help me, but you are very valuable for the situation that is going to unfold in the next days."

This time the language sounded alien.
However, it didn't fail to make her heart beat funny.

"Rei," he took a sharp inhale, "there has been called a Sokomob clan meeting."

"A sokowhat?" Again, seriously everything sounded like a foreign language.

Suga snorted but proceeded on explaining.

"A South Korean mob clan meeting." His face switched to serious as fuck with a side of pissed. Not with Rain. But on whoever called that meeting for sure.
And Rain pitied the fool that decided to get on Suga's bad side.

"You mean like a meeting for all the mafia clans of South Korea?"
"Yes."
"How many?" Rain's words were barely above a whisper as she calmly took a drag from her cigarette. And Suga didn't fail to notice the zing of the adrenaline in her eyes. Neither that her first fucking question was to size up the enemy. Calculate. Form a strategy for whatever the situation calls upon, before even knowing the whole picture. A born leader indeed.

"Twelve regional leaders with their clans. Thirteen, with me. As a total..." he looked up, calculating,"...more or less a hundred heads, if you count the extra recruits they usually bring to appear more powerful. Not that they need to. Those twelve are the creme de la creme of the mafia. They have the largest following of thugs, and own the biggest corporations in the southeast." 

Rain narrowed her eyes. "What do you mean usually? How often this sokofuckup happens?"

This time Suga took longer to answer. He chewed the inside of his cheek, suffering from a bad case of I-don't-know-how-to-tell-you-this-without-you-going-on-Oren-Ishii-mode.

"Every time a very important matter that involves all of us and them comes up..." he closed his eyes and exhaled, "and whenever a new leader rises to power."

"What?!" Rain tilted. Saw red. Taking a sharp inhale she managed to keep her cool and calmly ask, "then why wasn't one sokofuckup meeting called when I rose to power?"

Suga then rolled his eyes in an Iknewyouweregoingtooverreactlikeafuckingbrat manner, before explaining in an Idontgiveafuckifyoubelieveme way.
"Because when you rose to power, it was done in a way so perfect, that it was indisputable. No one got the balls to question it." He basked with satisfaction. "You are Nanami's only child. The golden legacy. You got her position along with her assets when she died. If you even were around before her death, everyone would assume that one day you would inherit everything."

Rain immediately recognized that they were now treading on unknown territory. And she was all in about exploring it.
"But she left everything to you, didn't she?" Almost sounded hurt about it. Bitter.

 
"It doesn't matter." Suga emerged, without confirming or denying it.

"Of course it does! First of all, you said that the sokomob meeting is called upon whether there is a very important subject, or a leader rises to power. My guess for this specific one is both." She smirked. "The leaders are using the pretense that you rose to power to call the meeting, using the pretense to introduce themselves to you, when in reality they just want to come for a fucking damage control. Check out the competition. See how the fuck you ended up with the two most powerful clans, how you handle them and all that power you got in the span of a few nights, and most importantly," she took a drag of her cigarette, smirking like the devil,
"If and how they can take it away from you.
Because if there's one thing I know for sure about human nature, it's that a person who isn't motivated by greed is usually motivated by something much darker.
Like amassing power, for instance.
Like taking revenge.
Things I myself am all too familiar with.
This isn't a regional meeting. It's a pissing competition. That screams power play." She finished, crushing her cigarette on the ashtray.

Suga didn't know what he wanted more, to kiss the fuck out of her, or to vanish from the face of the earth since Rain was too quickly figuring out the whole moves of the twelve fucking regional leaders, and that meant that soon she could easily figure out other things as well. So he just laid back in his chair, doing neither.

"In that case, Rain went on, we could easily rub Nanami's will on their face and we would instantly get rid of half of them off our backs. At least those who would assume you are some kind of fraud. But then...." she narrowed her eyes like having some sort of epiphany. "That's not the problem.
Our problem is those who think that you knew she was gonna leave everything to you. I mean, why would she if she had a daughter?
The problem is..." her eyes sparkled, "they are planning to accuse you. That you killed Nanami so you would inherit her empire." She finished and crossed her arms with satisfaction, almost metaphorically bowing to the audience for her excellent performance.

"You are kind of brilliant..." Suga murmured, downplaying his awe.

She laughed with delight, her throaty, sexy voice filling the air of the kitchen and giving Suga an uncomfortable and definitely anti-professional semi.
"Not kind of, I am a fucking mastermind! Don't get cheap on the compliments." She huffed, waving her hair.

"Great. Now that you have the insight, you understand how crucial and dangerous this situation is."

"Maybe for you," she murmured, examining her nails.

"Rei. Don't take this lightly. I know that you breathe danger for breakfast but this isn't your average clan drama. I've been in those meetings many times. One of those meetings took place in my fucking house the day I vowed my life to Nanami. And I saw how quickly it can turn from playboy-penthouse-party to kill-bill-bloodbath."

"I don't care." Her tone was determined. No, something more intense. Desperate. "I don't care, I just... I can't stay here doing fucking nothing, braiding V's hair, and playing house. I want to come. Plus, you said it yourself. I can be very valuable in those kinds of situations."

"Do I need to explain that you are more fucking valuable to me alive?" The worry he had all along was starting to make sense now.

"I will be careful. We're all gonna be careful. We are gonna form a plan. I have to come!"

Suga didn't hide he didn't like this one bit.

''Let me help you.'' Rain persisted.

''Like you let me when it was you who needed it?'' he chuckled.

''I admit I could have handled it better. We went through enough together with Sakai..."

Suga flinched. Enough to make Rain wonder if he too had memories that suffocated him like her.

''Conversation over.''

"Like fuck it is!"

"I mean for now. I told you. You will decide if you want in or out. But I want you to take some time to think about it."

''Then gather everyone back here. And guide me through the terms of this sokofuckup, as you give your orders to the others. Because I've done my thinking.
You asked me what I wanted.
Maybe it's stupid or reckless. But I know deep inside me, that when I look back I want to see my choices. I want to see that I lived the way I wanted. Even if I regret it. Even if it's a mistake. At least, it's mine. My way."

Once again, Suga couldn't tell what he felt more.
Admiration? For all the stubbornness that made Rain what she is, the fire of the rebel that kindled inside her.
Or fear? Because the way she wanted to live was almost equal to wanting to die. And he was indeed afraid that one day the fire he loved could be extinguished.

"I'm going to be part of this war when it comes. And I'm not going to be a pawn, but a weapon. You want help, not to manipulate me."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." Her eyes gleamed. 

"Then you're in Rei. But we are going to do everything exactly as I say."

"As long as I get to participate. And have the liberty to kick ass if needed." She grinned.

"We have to be extremely careful about this. Nothing can jeopardize this meeting. I am fucking serious Rei."

"Sure, sure," Rain waved him off.

Suga tensed. "I need to be absofuckinglutely sure that you won't do anything stupid. That you can and will follow every. single. order. That you won't create waves." He paused, locking her in his intense stare. Held her face. "You have to promise."

"So what now? You will ask me to promise something every day?"

"No. This is different. These are the terms if you want in. I told you, if it was in my hand I would keep you as far away as possible from all this. But it's your choice in the end. And it will always be your choice. So if you want in, you will have to accept that."

"What happens if ...I fail to do so?"She looked away.

Suga exhaled. "You lose a finger."

"What?!!"

He chuckled then. "As if I could ever do that to you." His smile was deadly.

"Asshole!" Rain huffed.

"Let's just say, I don't want to find out what happens if this doesn't go the way I want."

"And what exactly is the way you want?"

Suga looked down.

"Get through this with no casualties. No damage. But leave an impression of the kind that says, we won't be bothered again. Ever.

Make no mistake, I will do everything I have to in order to show those fuckers to stay the fuck away. From my life, my clans, and everyone in those. Away, from everything that's mine.

And there's only one way for that." He smirked then, in a way that probably made people on other continents have orgasms. "They want a fight."

"But you're gonna give them war," Rain's smile on the other hand was like a loaded gun.

"You couldn't just let me have a final line for once?" He shook his head.

"You have to pick your battles. Can't have everything." She batted her lashes.

Suga let her have it.

Because then he realized he was prepared for any kind of war that may come his way. And was equipped with enough determination to win everything. 

Settle for nothing less than everything.

So he decided at that moment, that by the end, he was going to have everything.
His clans.
The whole kingdom.
The girl.

Everything.

A/N 1: We are all just going to pretend that there has not been over a year since the last update. I know it might not seem like it, but I'm trying my best. It still doesn't mean that I can keep a schedule and update frequently. 
A/N 2: Since we are pretending, we are also going to ignore that this chapter comes from my heart, and it might externalize shit like how much I hate my job and don't want to settle for it just so I can pay my bills and eat.
A/N 3: If any of you owns or works in a publishing house please hire me so I can write all day and get paid for it.

A/N 4: Omg guys, I missed you!!! :')