Danger is sweet.

All things deadly are sweet. 

And the sweetest poison is the most lethal.

"Eat."

It was the third time that Jimin had repeated the same word.

Rain had only passed right next to him, ignoring the sandwich he was tauntingly shaking in front of her face, only to slide down on the balcony wall, sitting on the cold tiles, and wordlessly lighting a cigarette, exhaling the smoke through her nose like a demon.

Jimin frowned, mumbling something along the lines of Suga will chew my intestines and make bubblegum out of them if I don't make sure you eat.

Half-heartedly and pissed off, Jimin proceeded to sit directly in front of Rain. A soft breeze ruffled his red hair. As even if the wind found it tempting to touch him.

"Eat."

"Fuck off."

Rain exhaled the smoke, looking anywhere but Jimin.

"That wasn't very nice." He narrowed his eyes. Then looked up. "You would have hurt my feelings if I had any."

Rain didn't reply, currently residing in her own slice of darkness. Like the moon, she had a side so dark that even the stars could shine on it.

Jimin lowered the sandwich. His eyes ran through her once more. Through the dried blood on her hands, through the droplets sprayed across her face in a dusting like freckles. Through her eyes that seemed so black, almost soulless at that moment.

"You look like hell." He noted, looking behind him through the glass wall of the kitchen, making sure no one was watching them, before taking a bite from the sandwich. "Look at that. You had a bite." He grinned while chewing. Then dangled it in front of her again. "It's reeaaaly good."

Rain's only response was to take another drag from her cigarette, making him feel invisible.

"I should have asked V for tips." He chewed a second bite. "What did the fucker tell you to make you eat the other day—"

"Did Suga told you that Nanami is alive, or you figured it out by yourself?" Rain fixed him with a piercing stare.

Jimin stilled midbite.

He slowly swallowed it, holding Rain's stare.

Exhaling a shaky breath, he dragged a hand through his face and red hair.

"Fuck, it, I'll say you ate it." He threw the sandwich from the balcony with a swift move, sending it flying down the back alley.

Repositioning himself, he faced Rain's cold stare again, which felt like daggers all over his body.

"You could have warned me." She bit out. "I was your Oyabun. But mostly, I thought you were my friend."

It hurt.

First, RM. He had found out that Suga was the Oyabun, along with J-hope, and didn't tell her, forcing her to face the humiliation.

Then, JB. Hiding that Suga was his best friend, making her think she could trust him...

Now Jimin, who knew about Nanami and hid it.

Only Jin, even belated, had confessed what he thought. Even went as far as revealing his big secret to her, that he shared with her mother a little bit more than a strict Oyabun-kobun relationship.

"I am your friend!" He gritted his teeth, his palms steady on the floor on his sides.

"Friends warn their friends when they figure out the latter's crazy mother is alive!" Rain's word's were laced with poison.

"I couldn't—"

"Did he tell you to hide it from me? Did he ordered you?" She chuckled, shaking her head, taking another drag.

"It's not like that! Look... Don't make me choose between you and him..." Jimin murmured, after a long moment of silence, knowing what she was thinking.

"Because you will choose him?" Rain laughed bitterly again.

"Because he chose me!" Jimin bit out.

Rain's eyebrows furrowed as she watched Jimin going through another chain-curse reaction while facing the sky, rubbing his forehead.

Lowering his stare to Rain again, he repeated. "Because he chose me. Suga. Not Nanami. He practically begged her to keep me. She wanted... She wanted to get rid of me after I saved her life."

"What?!"

Jimin grabbed the packet of cigarettes that was lying next to Rain on the floor. Tapping it on his hand, he pulled one out with his lips.

"Seven years ago, Nanami had gotten shot. It was a few months after she had recruited Suga. And RM. And J-hope. They were only the four of them at the time." He lit his cigarette, cupping the tip with his palm. "Nanami had taken Suga with her in some kind of business negotiation. I don't know much, but my guess was it was some sort of trap or someone set them up. Nanami got badly shot. Next to the heart." He took then a sharp inhale, shook his head while exhaling. "She wasn't gonna make it. It was in the middle of the fucking day. She had killed whoever had shot her and couldn't exactly go into a hospital, knowing that the police were after them and she would be charged with murder if she even made it alive."

"Where the fuck do you fit in all that?"

Jimin snorted. "I had slept late that day. Missed the first period. I was running like fucking Flash when right before I entered my class, a blond sketchy dude slammed me in the corridor, asking if I am one of the med students, pointing a gun at me." Jimin's eyes were wide like he could still feel the shock after all these years. "I panic-laughed, thought I was in some weird shit live-show where a dude will jump out with a camera and record my reaction—because that couldn't be real— and I replied, no. I'm just here for the free drug trials, looking around to spot who was pulling the prank on me. Of course, no one was around.

Then, I felt something cold and hard pressing down my chest. I slowly looked down to see a gun. He said," Jimin tried—and failed— mimicking Suga's voice,

"Funny. Now try again before this gun is so far up your ass, you'll be getting a free prostate exam."

He chuckled then, taking a sharp drag from his cigarette after.

"Then what? Damn. I now wish I had that sandwich." Rain murmured.

"Then Suga dragged me in the labs, he threw all sorts of scalpels and forceps and bandaids in a bag because he couldn't distinguish which would be right or not, then proceeded on dragging me in a car that was parked just outside the campus where Nanami had made into a jacuzzi of her blood. He threw me in the back seat with her, and I tried to not throw up on her while Suga was driving need-for-speed style, and I performed my first ever surgery on a woman who was coughing blood while smoking and threatening to drown me in her blood if I don't stop the bleeding. It wasn't as funny as it sounds." He ran a hand through his hair, smiling in the city lights.

"But you made it. You saved her." Rain observed.

"I saved my ass, you mean." Narrowing his eyes on the stars of the sky, he murmured, "She lifted her hand to kill me, seconds after I had stitched her. Suga stopped her. They started arguing. I'm not sure what she was saying because it was in Japanese, but I think she said she would kill him too, if he disrespected her, or something like that. Honestly," Jimin chuckled humorlessly, "I was about to die. Seconds before she pulled the trigger, Suga convinced her not to. Said something like, he can be useful to us," he mimicked Suga's voice again.

Jimin took the last drag of his cigarette. Threw it away.

"He doesn't know I understood. Nanami also said something about me like, he is going to end up being your responsibility. I don't think he understood it back then, either. He just agreed."

"You mean..."

"It was always her plan for Suga to become Oyabun. No one had noticed. I just... had a feeling he will become one day. Like a hunch, you know? I thought it was because I owed my life to him, because he was the one that had brought me in the seven seas and convinced Nanami to keep me. I became as much a member as anyone after a while. I grew on her. Seven years is a long time."

Silence fell so thick, the city sounds of cars fading in the background.

Jimin turned, resting his forehands on his knees, locking his stare with Rain's.

"Suga chose me. Not Nanami. He was by my side from the bloody start. So please, don't make me choose between you and him, Rain."

Understanding, Rain nodded.

"He didn't tell me about Nanami. I figured it out because I saw the body in the funeral had the same wound that I supposedly had sewn, a centimeter lower. I remember the image of sewing it so intensely, it's imprinted on my memory forever." He swallowed. "If Nanami had taken that bullet a centimeter lower, her left lung would have been pierced through. She wouldn't have made it. Suga wouldn't have time to find me. I wouldn't be here. None of us would. So take my word for saying, I just immediately knew it wasn't her. And truthfully," he smiled, "I'm glad. So I hope you understand why I couldn't tell you."

Jimin looked at the stars again. "You are so much like her. More than you think. She never forgave anyone for anything."

"So it wasn't a matter of loyalty," Rain added, throwing her cigarette away.

"It never was. You might not know it," Jimin smiled at the moon, "but we keep away to let you have your privacy. Don't think for one second that there isn't one of us who forgot or isn't grateful for what you did. For how you risked yourself and fought for us when you could have easily abandoned this clan. No matter how unorthodox your methods were. I mean, not that kidnapping us wasn't fun—"

His words stopped short as Rain crushed him into a hug.

Inhaling deep, both closed their eyes, smiling.

"Just in case anyone asks, I wasn't the one who initiated this touching." He murmured over her shoulder, Rain laughing in response.

Emptiness and melancholy reflected in Rain's eyes as she stared back at Jimin. Not so infinite to hide the sincerity.

What goes around comes around.

"Forgive me, for making fun of you."

"Hey." Jimin rubbed her shoulders in comfort. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Your mug."

My Oyabun has passed training. I haven't.

Jimin smiled. "You think that hurt me? Bitch, I'm used to living with six idiots that all of them think that they are the mafia's hot-shot shit, plus the reincarnation of Voldermort threatening to sew my mouth with my surgical suture for seven years."

"Why do you say it like it's a good thing?"

"Because it is. We are a family. And family give each other shit. We also threaten each other and fight occasionally, but it's who we are. I know it's out of the norm. I know we all have our issues. More than Vogue, as V would say. I know a psychiatrist would have a party with us and that we are crazy enough to have our own reality show. But that's the thing. We are who we are. And we have each other. And I consider us all lucky to have found each other. And I'll take the chance of sounding like a cliche dad in some American film, but I wouldn't trade our little Addams family for anything in the world."

Rain smiled back. "You are so wise sometimes."

"I mean," straightening his posture, Jimin ran his hand through his hair, "I'm handsome and wise and funny. Who thought such an awesome creation would walk this earth one day. It's so tiring, being me—"

"It was nice when it lasted," Rain deadpanned.

"Oh, shut up." Jimin swatted her playfully, grinning. "What the hell do you know? You haven't even passed training."

Drown.

Rain needed to drown.

In darkness, silence, with the feel of water engulfing her like the brutal mother's hug she never had.

And again, the circle would go.

Drugs. Alcohol. Sex. Rock bottom. Repeat.

Revenge had turned out to be Suga's favorite language. And he spoke it fluently.

What goes around comes around, kept repeating in her head for the whole day.

He had managed to live in her thoughts rent-free.

When Rain had the idea to deprive him of water, it had started as a prank. As a way to get him angry, as an opportunity to show who pulls the strings.

As a get-back without showing she was hurt, he had hidden the past from her.

But she hadn't anticipated him being this cunning. It was a total mind-fuck.

And she didn't know how vital a post-murder shower would prove to be.

A shower was Suga's favorite method for leaving soul-scorching actions to the past, a way to get by. To go on. And she had deprived him of it.

And now, she was in his position, needing it more than air.

The thoughts still waited like wolves to swarm her. Rip her apart.

And she would do anything to keep herself busy, restraining them from roaming free.

The needle felt slippery between Rain's sweaty and blood-encrusted fingers.

Dot.

Numb, she didn't feel the pain as it pierced through the first delicate skin layers of her left forearm.

Dot.

Dipping it again in the ink bottle beside her, coating the tip of the needle with the blue ink, dot after dot, one next to the other, three lines had formed, one parallel to the other.

~    ~    ~    ~    ~    ~    ~

Later in the night, in the deep after-hours of 3 am, when the moon was way past its high point, when only the deeply dark and troubled souls were still up, when the majority of the city was resounding in sweet oblivious slumber, when Suga had judged he had given Rain enough time to calm, eat, and settle, after finishing works of his own, he tried to find her everywhere.

Jin confirmed he had seen her going into her new room.

Suga had already looked there first thing, of course. Only to find it vacant, bed untouched, same like she left it before leaving.

Jimin, who he had appointed to make sure she ate dinner, was more AWOL than a dude in dm's after leaving him on seen, aka, nowhere to be found.

Suga had rummaged through each and every room then, patience thinning as he didn't even knock on the last few doors.
Which resulted in three things: witnessing RM sleeping naked, catching V on the act of sending someone dickpics, and still not finding Rain anywhere.

So much for her taking the whole "being a loyal clan member" seriously, Suga thought, ready to pull out his phone and call her.

Stilling, he realized the only room he hadn't searched was his.

Rain's old room.

That still had running water.

Of course she would defy him and, just like that go take a shower.

Thorns of ice pierced him inside out, chest tightening as he turned, breath shaking as he made his way there in a heartbeat, bracing for the worst.

His room was empty.

He stopped right outside of the bathroom door.
J-hope had recently fixed it, along with the window Suga had broken to enter.

Putting his hand on the doorknob, he drew a deep breath. Like the one, he had before jumping in the sea.

Bath.

Water.

Ice.

Sea.

Rei dying.

He turned the doorknob, slowly pushing the door open.

Thinking he will find her like last time.

Maybe letting her go with Jin —even though deep down he knew that was what she wanted, what she had planned the whole time, and the reason for hiding all those things from him— was a bad decision.

Bathtub filled to the brim.

Frozen water.

Rei not breathing.

His eyes instantly fled to the bathtub.

Empty.
No sign of her there—

A hint of a shadow, a black-haired form sitting on the floor, rose from behind the shower glass.

Next to the bathtub, inside the glass-walled shower, Rain was sitting on the floor. Head bowed between her knees, staring at the dry marble tiles of the floor.

A fallen, bloody angel with broken wings.

Dressed.

Dry.

Not a drop of water.

If she knew that Suga was standing at the threshold, she didn't show. She didn't move or say a word.

Next to her on the floor, her phone played a song. It was the same nameless tune Suga had found playing on her phone that cold, forsaken night when she had tried taking her life. Now, it echoed in the bathroom tiles, assaulting him again.

Lifting her eyes, they stared at each other.

The threshold between them was like an ocean neither of them was yet willing to cross.

Both unbending.

Rain still, wouldn't beg.

Suga wouldn't succumb if she didn't. He had made it clear it was going to be his way —blindly following his orders or telling him the three truths—or the highway.

This, the simple action of who would cross the distance to go to the other, had become a battle. No, another war.

And only the one willing to burn his ego would win it.

Suga's pace toward Rain was slow. As if he could sense that Rain wondered what he was going to do and wanted her to brew in her anticipation for every possible second.

She supposed she deserved it. Knew she deserved it.

Stopping right in front of the open shower door and standing before her, he knew what she had done. The ink bottle and the needle bled a blue stain on the floor. The same blue that had now entitled itself in three lines on her forearm.

Blue, as the opposite of red.

The red of the bloody waves was life.

And the blue lines —straight and still, not wavy—were death.

He recognized the symptoms of when she was in a downward spiraling state, like now.

Empty, vacant of any warm emotion, stare.

Silence from her part, as if no words could feel the emptiness.

Music, preferably a song with hidden meanings, playing on repeat in the background. A way to trigger feelings —that she is alive.

Then, it would come.

This was the queue that she usually followed up with bliss from white powder lines and from one or two meaningless hookups.

Imbibing into anything that made her heart race. Made her forget. Made her feel alive.

Rain had found out early on that destruction was what she thrived upon.

Unfortunately, it also included self-destruction.

Wordlessly and gracefully, Suga kneeled before her.

Bringing himself down, so they could be on the same level. Eyes to eyes.

Lifting a hand, his thumb stroked her cheek. Lifting her jaw to look at him. A featherlight, reassuring touch.

"Hey. I'm here." It had started as a command before the words softened, barely above a soothing whisper. "You can talk to me if you want, or not. But I'm here." And not going anywhere.

Reluctantly, Rain lifted her eyes to him. Then away again. "Why you aren't mad?"

For finding out I promised someone else something and fought with everything to keep that promise, she wanted to add, even though Suga knew what she meant.

"You know. You found out I made a promise to Violet. To take revenge for her. Why aren't you mad?" Rain murmured, still looking down.

Suga didn't move.

"You're not mad?" Rain whispered, lifting her stare and holding it this time.

"Very." Suga's reply, on the contrary, was confident and calm. "But that doesn't mean I don't admire the determination you've put into fulfilling your promises."

No, it wasn't exactly calm. It was distant. Businesslike.

Oyabun to kobun.

Nothing more.

If Rain wanted to drown before, seeing Suga so distant now, made her want to drown his ass.

But... Something was stopping her.

She held his stare. "I've made another promise."

Suga tilted his head. "You go around throwing promises like it's black Friday now?"

He didn't show that the little confession hurt him. So easy to break her promise to him, so easy to keep it to anyone else.

"It's not like that. This one is to myself." Her lips revealed a small, mysterious smile behind the unyielding sadness. "I'll tell you if you want to know. It's gonna cost a truth. Truth for truth."

Truth for truth, his idea, his request.

Small steps towards the three truths he had demanded, in exchange for letting Violet stay."I think about you," Rain had bit out. Such a small sentence. Such a big leap for her, he knew. But this, now, wasn't one of those times that Rain wanted to share what she felt.

No, it was an attempt to take her mind away from what she had done. Regrets washing over her, demons screaming in need to be drowned.

A killer.

She had accepted what she was, scribbled it on her forearm.
An eternal reminder of what she had done, never to be forgotten. No amount of drugs or alcohol or sex or anything could take it away.

Three blue lines, one for each person she had killed.

Rain was good, Suga had realized. In her salty soul, in her warrior's heart. She was good in a way Suga knew most people were not. She would not only fight for herself but raise hell to protect others. Unlike Nanami, considering every life she had to take. And like him, she would defend what she loved until death.

And unlike her, he would do anything to get rid of that look in her eyes.

Unlike her, he would fall before making her beg for what she deserved.

But provide it wholeheartedly and without a second thought instead.

Suga shook his head, declining her request. "After."

"After what?"

Suga didn't reply.

He picked up Rain's phone, and with a scowl, he stopped the sad song —a curse to his ears. Choosing another one and pressing play—Hideaway by Tomi, (for those who want to listen while reading)— he left the phone beside him, outside of the glass walls of the shower.

Then, pushing on a hand, he rose to his feet.

His eyes were still on Rain's when with a swift move, he turned on the shower.

The water came down on Rain, running through her hair, the planes of her face, her clothes sticking on her. The blue ink droplets on the floor smudged and washed away, vanishing in the drain.

Beautiful and deadly, it came down cascading and washing away the blood.

Water. Rei not breathing. Rei dying.

Terribly ironic.
The thing that soothed him the most —water— was his worst nightmare anywhere near Rain.

Steady and strong inside, his eyes held hers as he pulled her wet shirt up. And obliging, Rain lifted her hands for him to remove it, then discard it somewhere in the corner of the bathroom.

Goosebumps rose under the water droplets that run freely on her skin as he traced her back, unclasping her bra, throwing it somewhere next to her shirt.

It somehow felt like an eternity from then, as they stared at each other, until falling back on his knees and holding the back of her leg with gentle, he unlaced to remove her boots.

She didn't protest when after, he unbuttoned her jeans, slowly and carefully dragging them down, she only lifted her hips so he could pull them out as well.

And did the same when he fitted two fingers at each side of the silky black lace of her underwear to remove those as well.

He even restrained himself from making a snarky remark like, how the hell did Jungkook miss these ones?

Suga threw her a last stare, at her naked, bare, and vulnerable. At the beauty of her soul in the rawest form. He then proceeded to stand, withdrawing.
Stepping outside of the shower.

How far he could stay away, knowing his deepest fear was playing out, was to be discovered when he took the first step away.

Cold and wet, a hand on his, stopped him in his track.

Rain didn't say a word. She didn't have to. Her eyes said it all.

And this time, they begged.

Stay.

Suga's short reply came from a cracked, dark place inside him.

"No."

"No?"

What the hell did he mean no? And when was the last time someone denied her —oh, right, the only time someone rejected her, was Suga again.

Suga shook his head. "It's not healthy to cope with your problems with sex and drugs." Mindlessly, he tightened his grip on her hand. "I am here to help you through this. The right way, if you want to. I will stay by your side if you need me. You need to talk about it."

Rain's face switched to arctic cold, scowling from bitterness. "So you're saying no because you think I'm using you to get past this?"

"Would it be the first time?"

Humiliation washed over her in a cold wave. Threatening to drown her in regrets.

A wave she had promised to herself to fight, swim through the obstacle of it, prove her intentions were real.

That this was real.

Rain's lips trembled. "What if... I just want ...you?"

"Doubtful," Suga whispered with a sad smile. "Although, reasonable," He faked a smirk. "Wouldn't blame you for liking perfection. The irresistible kind." Playfully, he added, raising an eyebrow.

"Always so humble." Rain mocked, granting him with a small smile as a thank you for making her feel better. Always knowing what to say to her.

"Of course. But now we are focusing on your flaws," Suga grinned.

Beautiful.

His smile, his face, his mind, and everything else about him, lethal and beautiful, Rain thought. Inviting her, summoning her, like a moth to a flame, willing to burn in its beauty.

The whole beauty of danger is the risk of dying, after all.

Reckless, stupid.

Reminding her of the thing she had thought when she had seen him for the first time.

Lurking in the shadows, watching her as she was getting high with her friends.

Not knowing she had noticed him.

Dulce periculum.

Danger is sweet.

The only quotes she came across that seemed to agree with her till now were in Latin.

Then a similar thought had followed.

Danger never looked so fucking fine.

Rediculous, she had told herself, fixating on a total stranger was. On how his cold, calculating eyes had scanned and seen through everything and everyone, promising murder to anything that met their path.

On how she wanted to get his attention.

On how she wanted to go talk to him. Be near him. Find out, what the mysterious stranger she had never seen before was doing there, and most importantly, who.

Me, in a few minutes.

The challenge had risen in her, a good distraction from tonight, and life and...

She would found a way.

Dare.

It was time to allow herself the luxury of one, uncalculated destruction.
And distraction.

She wanted to do something reckless, dangerous, stupid. To remind herself she was alive.

Exactly like back then, now, she needed this temporary reprieve from her mind. Needed this. Needed him.

"I never forgot your voice." Her words were a small, broken sound as she looked down. "I don't know how to explain it. I forgot you. I forgot it was you. I managed to forget everything." Her smile was bitter. If tears had broken out of her bottomless eyes, Suga couldn't tell. The water from the shower washed everything down.

"It always felt familiar. Like your presence in a room. I always felt you before I saw you." She lifted her stare. Droplets caught on her eyelashes.

A coal haired siren of sin, ready to drag you down to the most bottomless pits of the ocean and drown you.

Suga's heart did something funny at the revelation of her little secret. And at the fact, she suddenly had the balls to talk about the past— of when she had promised.

Burn him once more. He concluded that this was her attempt. Manipulating him, making him think she won't discard him once again after.

But that was the problem with fire, you see.

Hell feels like paradise if you like the burn.

Rain peered at him when he didn't make a move to leave or retreat his hand from hers.

Suga couldn't help himself but taking a step inside, entering the shower fully clothed, obliging to Rain's pull on his hand, like a siren's song luring him to his destruction.

One step brought him into the shower with her.

The world stopped.

He closed the glass door behind him. 

And left his inhibitions outside of that door.

https://youtu.be/wGi4Xf8-LsQ

When the low surfaces
You were my oasis
I've been all the faces you like
And I run
Run away in the darkness
Saw you once before it was August
And I won't stop, never stop


You can hide away
Push it all away
You can hide away
In the outside
From a tidal wave
To my heroine
I was always afraid
You were tenfold

A/N

The Bloody Waves Spotify playlist link will be in a comment here. 

Songs 1-19 are vol.1

20-36 are vol.2

37 and still adding are vol.3

Oh, and for the next chapter...

Don't forget to bring your hollywaters.