Existence obviously had it out for him. Of course Hatori had evidence to back up this very fact.

First and foremost, his best friend/crush Yoshino Chiaki was now in a relationship with a girl from his class who went by the name *Hanako Ayato. While this wasn't inherently bad, it didn't stop the ensuing heartache and pounding of his temples -half of which came from the dizzy spell the day prior-

As much as it hurted him deeply, Hatori couldn't help but laugh bitterly at his heartache. Of all things to cry about, his crush getting with a girl -and admittedly a good looking girl at that- and not with him instead. Simply pathetic. They were both guys for god sake! Hatori knew for a fact it would take a miracle for them to get together.

Plus they were best friends, even if he were to confess, their friendship could potentially start to fade away as they transition from friends to lovers. Of all people, just why did Hatori have to fall for Yoshino? They were just friends. Why was it suddenly harder for him to look at him in the eyes of a platonic friend? He suddenly felt his throat dry up like he was in the middle of a desert and the metaphorical strings of his heart were only pulled whenever he saw Yoshino holding hands with that girl.

He never once had a problem with Hanako. If he was being honest with himself, she seemed to be a great match for the brunette. Smart, kind and had the patience of a saint to deal with Yoshino's antics. A great fit for him indeed. More than he could say for the two.

They were simply friends, and of the same sex. As much as Hatori wanted to believe they could happily grow old together, sadly he simply couldn't avoid cold cut facts

Secondly, he noted that they were starting to drift apart as friends and it was...unnerving to say the least. Their normal park meetups slowly but surely dwindled away, Hatori would've been lucky if he was able to meetup with Yoshino once a week or so. He was most definitely not jealous or anything. That was simply false. He was quite happy for his best friend, finding someone who values Yoshino as much as he valued him was a great thing.

'Would things work out if one of us were female? Well, maybe I could have just confessed months or even years ago. Maybe I would be a lot more comfortable with what I'm feeling.'

The thought came as a surprise to the brunette. It wasn't a surprise a relationship between the same sex wasn't wildly accepted as of now. While there were some people who seem to accept the idea of being gay, some had grown to accept the fact that the LGBTQ community was now apart of their society. But of course, there were quite a few people who, to some degree, would not accept it in any way, shape, or form.

If Hatori was being honest, it was quite sad. Like the 46 chromosomes that made a person who they were, sexuality was something completely out of his control, exactly like a lottery -both genetic and otherwise- some had more lucky results than others. Unfortunately, some people were essentially being ostracized from their friends and peers all for something that was completely out of their control. Something that would not affect them in the long run. Sadly, some parts of the world were...slow to develop compared to some first world countries for example. He wasn't about to out himself to anyone so all he could do was hide them away and pine after the boy with blue eyes.

It was such a shame and all Hatori could do was be by his friend's side and just listen to the many dates he had gone on. Much like today.

It was a cool spring day, overcast sky with many grey clouds acting as the decoration. Two blue eyed boys were on their way home, one rambling on about what had happened that day. *Almond shaped eyes stared intently at the gloomy sky above, each word went in one ear and out the other. Well until the following question.

"We went to this one museum we went to when we were 5. You remember that Tori?" The man in question turned his gaze from the clouds to his friend rewinding the many memories he shared with Yoshino all for nothing. "No, I'm sorry but I don't remember anything of the sort."

"Do you remember that time we went with our mothers and I had to leave early because I was scared of the dinosaur skeletons?" Yoshino chuckled, his hands hidden deep within the pockets of his pants.

That supposed memory had hit him, his brain projected the memory like a movie screen. The flashback transported them to when they were only 5 years old, both in clean blue smocks speed walked into the museum, wonderment swam in their optics. Yoshino was babbling on and on about the many sights and photos that hung on the walls and the floor, young Hatori behind him listening intently to every word.

While it was one of the many humorous times in their lives, at the time he could only remember that full tooth grin. That smile could have been comparable to that of the sun, it's ray's brightening up the day of whoever happened to be in the vicinity. While there were many things he loved about the boy with blue eyes, his smile was without a doubt his favorite thing. Any troubles in his life would be instantly wiped away a stain on a kitchen counter the moment he would lay eyes on that smile.

"You were quite hyper if I remembered. You kept yanking me all over the place and asking about every photo." He mused, trying to supress the smile that really wanted to make an appearance seeing an adorable pout graced Yoshino's features.

"I wasn't that hyper, at least that was how I remembered it." He sighed, rolling his eyes at what his best friend had said. He knew Hatori had an easier time remembering things from their childhood -not that he had forgotten, Yoshino had a hard time recalling certain events in their lives- so he knew the sentiment was most likely true.

As they continued with their walk home, another funny event that had happened only a couple hours prior. "Oh I have to tell you what happened during lunch." A grin overtook Yoshino's face as he continued on with his story.

Apparently, Yoshino's girlfriend was about to give him some cupcakes only for her to trip on someone's bag and the icing was splattered all over her face. Normally Hatori would listen intently at whatever Yoshino happened to be ranting about but he just couldn't bring himself to. With each word that came out of his mouth his heart broke all the more, it felt as though his chest was slowly crushed by a boulder much too slowly.

Just what was happening to him? Was this a symptom of heartbreak?

Yoshino's words were then replaced by the amplified drum of his pulse and high pitch ringing of his ears creating a concerning cacophony of sound. Hatori all but begged for the sound to go away, replacing the sound with Yoshino's heavenly voice.

'Go away. Why is my vision turning into a tunnel? Damn it, why is this happening to me.'

Damn, even his internal monologue sounded weak, pathetic. He suddenly clutched his head, feeling pain surged within him, the world around him turned into clean white. To say Hatori was confused would have been a royal understatement. His aching head, constricted throat, flashes of white, nothing was adding up. Hatori couldn't just brush it aside as simple cold or flu, something much worse was attacking his respiratory and immune system.

Suddenly, he had stopped walking, his legs suddenly giving way to the light-headedness he was currently feeling. Hatori could note small cool hands on his forehead feeling an odd sense of euphoria mixed into the feeling of confusion and dizziness. It felt so nice, he felt his body temperature increasing at a rapid rate.

"Tori what's the matter? Are you okay?" The sound of Yoshino's voice caused his heart to flutter. Hatori couldn't speak -his throat would not allow him to respond anyhow- only nodded feeling his eyes drooping, wanting so desperately to flutter close and succumb to the feeling of extreme fatigue which was situated deep within his brain.

He felt himself being seated down on the grassy plain, hearing a water bottle being opened and the rim of the bottle on his lips urging him to drink it. Seeing Yoshino fretting over his sudden loss of energy made his heart flutter and ache simultaneously. While from another person's perspective it would just pass across their head without much thought, such a simple yet kind gesture from the man he loved made his predicament a tad bit better.

"Can you make it to the park?" He asked, moving his bangs away from his eyes.

Once again, Hatori nodded silently wishing his tunnel-like vision away. The contents of the water bottle were now gone, temporarily hydrating his throat, his voice finally coming back to him.

"I'm..." He took a deep breath. "I'm okay Yoshino. Thank you." His voice was scratchy, it felt as though fingers were tickling his throat from the inside and made him cringe. Closing his eyes, he stood up with wobbly legs of course with the help of his best friend. Hatori knew he was most certainly not fine but the mere thought of sending his friend into a state of worry caused immense guilt to become all he could think of. If he wasn't in the hospital, then he could just grit his teeth and go through it all.

As long as Yoshino was by his side.

The light spring breeze helped quell his rapidly increased body temperature. It felt as though Hatori's feet were shackled to some unknown object miles away from their location, each step was nothing but heavy and each step served to remind him of his questioning suffering. His arms felt limp, even though the proper impulses were sent to his arm, the limb just refused to move. If Hatori had to describe what he was currently feeling, it would have to be sluggish/lethargic. Like he took a sleeping pill but if the intended effects hadn't worn off in the last six hours.

'It's too bright. I just want to fall into a deep sleep and not wake up for a long time but I don't know why. It feels like I'm falling in and out of consciousness.'

His brain registered them taking a turn, Hatori felt his shoe making contact with the mud down below indicating they were indeed on a certain mud path bikers and some runners from their neighborhoods they would frequented. So they were going to the park huh? As much as he really wanted to be at home in the comfort of his soft bed, spending time with his best friend was something he just couldn't pass up.

Rusted iron was what greeted his vision along with the sound of the old squeaking swings. Hatori allowed his head to lean on the old and withered chain trying so desperately to cling onto the bits of consciousness that remained, even without his normal sense of alertness he could feel Yoshino's concerned gaze boring onto his back.

It wasn't calculating or harsh, it was soft and hesitant, almost trying to silently extract his troubles from deep within him without the need to converse. Surprisingly enough, it wasn't uncomfortable nor did it feel violating. It felt...quite sweet in an odd way. He could feel his concern, the many questions he wanted to ask him with varying levels of difficulty of providing an answer. Internally, he was dreading the easy "What is happening to you?" He just could not answer it. Half the reason being he himself could not even provide a solid answer to satisfy his own brain. The other half being he wouldn't want to scare his friend, or eventually his family if he ever were to inform them.

Besides, it wasn't as though he was going to die...right? Ergo, there shouldn't be anything to worry about then.

The world around him turned blurry, his blue eyes blinked repeatedly as a last resort of retaining consciousness. With each passing second Hatori started to lose that battle and with that, he allowed himself to let go and fell into the deep recesses of sleep.

But for whatever reason, deep inside his gut, Hatori had an inkling that comment wasn't going to age well.

Surroundings became absolutely nothing, his brain didn't register the movement of his body away from the swing, the feeling of prickly grass on his back which was probably dirtying the fabric at that very moment. His head made contact with small thighs and a lethargic smile etched across his sleepy features, even though he was in the deep recesses of sleep he knew it was in fact his head resting on Yoshino's lap like it was a pillow. Quite an intimate feeling that made his dreams all the more pleasant.

While Hatori could not provide a definitive answer to his current symptoms, feeling his head on Yoshino's lap was one of the greatest feelings he could name. Not many things could not even compare to the closeness of his crush, his lap as a pillow.

He wasn't about to tell anyone. Another one of the many secrets of Hatori Yoshiyuki that would be kept away from his loved ones. 'Besides, it will probably go away...' The thought caused his smile to fade away. 'I hope so at least.'

/GG/

*Hanako Ayato is one of two female characters that will be in this story. She's Yoshino's high school girlfriend who won't really be a big factor to the story haha. Just wanted to put it out there.

*So apparently in the light novel, they describe Hatori's eyes as "almond shape" so that's where that line came from.

Tumblr: yoshiunova

I hoped you enjoyed :)