There were many things one Hatori Yoshiyuki wanted in life. A content life, a secure job, either alone or with a significant other by his side. Extravagance was something he found to be useless, a sense of satisfaction was far better than forever chasing happiness. As long as he was secured, he would look back on the past with a small smile.

The idea of a significant other in his life was a topic that flowed in and out of his life. On one hand, living life alone wasn't exactly ideal even though he was perfectly fine living alone. It would be nice to share both the good and the bad moments of life with another person

People believed him to be stone-faced, boring, someone incapable of loving someone in such an intimate way. He couldn't care less about the opinions of other people, it wasn't like he was living for other people. The idea of loving another person in such a way platonic friends would never act intrigued him. Holding a person he loved and adored in his arms sounded like a beautiful feeling.

A feeling that for some reason he hadn't experienced yet.

Hatori had gone out with only three girls in middle school with none of them even making it to a year. Now he wasn't about to blame his past girlfriends for all their short lived relationships, he knew they were all disingenuous -with no malicious intentions at all- all he wanted was to experience the feeling that his peers would gush about during their free time.

Hatori wouldn't deny they made him happy to some extent, they were great and caring people but those feelings were just faked. Nothing but a facade and he couldn't understand why.

They were attractive, considerate and like him, are people who want to work their way to satisfaction. So why couldn't he reciprocate their feelings? He tried and tried but it was all for nothing.

But that soon changed when the light of his life entered his life. The person who had his heart was the one who was called Yoshino Chiaki. His best friend of fifteen years.

They were like brothers, their bond was the one of the few things that could make the normally stoic man crack a smile. He woke up everyday thanking whoever was so kind as to introduce his best friend into his life, he was thankful every single day. They were like polar opposites but they completed each other, much like puzzle pieces creating an image.

But that was something completely different.

They were at Yoshino's home, books and manga scattered across the beige carpet floor. Blue eyes were glued to a novel, mentally taking notes for an upcoming essay for his English Literature class while the other was doodling in the many sketchbooks he owned without a care in the world. Hatori would describe Yoshino as a balloon, floating along going wherever the wind wanted to take it.

But there were times where the man would linger dangerously close to the stratosphere just waiting to pop into nothing. Yes, he knew it was a weird analogy but that was just how he saw him.

"Tori what do you think of this?" His reverie was broken by the question. Putting a bookmark on the page he was reading, he turned to his friend assuming it was another sketch for a story that originated from a dream.

"I want to name him Tsuyoshi and girl Chiharu. They're siblings that were separated due to their mother disappearing, one lived with their dad whereas the other ran away due to loss and ended up living with her grandmother."

It was obvious a lot of thought and care was put into making these characters. It was just one reason out of a list of many things he admired Yoshino, his ability to put so much care into his creations designs and backstories. Dim wouldn't be a word he would use to describe Yoshino, sure some would call him oblivious -as much as he would deny it, he wasn't exactly what people would call self-aware- when it came to the things he loved, he could turn as insightful as Hatori.

While he listened to him ramble on and on about them, he paid close attention to pictures inspecting each stroke of graphite, each stroke of the pencil served a purpose. It all coordinated perfectly to make the beautiful in front of him. Hatori loved Yoshino's hands, not only were they soft to the touch he was able to coordinate his fingers and brain to make such clean and beautiful images.

He also loved his voice. Hatori could have been locked inside the house with him and listened to Yoshino's voice for hours on end, it was like he was transferred to another world with just the two of them in it. He could visualize it perfectly.

Light blues and purples meld together. Yoshino's head was on his lap staring up at the sky rambling on and on about whatever topic came to mind while Hatori, eyes closed, listened to every word that came out of Yoshino's mouth as his fingers played with his soft brown hair.

It was perfect. Just the two of them and no one was there to interrupt their precious moment.

"Tori what do you think?" He asked, poking him on the cheek to get his attention.

He remained silent for a couple minutes, formulating his answer. "It looks really good as always Yoshino but when are you going to start on your project?" As much as he never wanted the moment to end, he wouldn't want Yoshino to fail yet another project.

"I know, I know I'll start it soon." Once again, he brushed off the question and continued making more sketches. They were in the same grade level but at different levels. Hatori was in class 1-A whereas Yoshino was in 1-F so needless to say, they weren't going to be seeing much of each other for the majority of the day.

'How can someone procrastinate so much' He was fully convinced that Yoshino was the biggest procrastinator. It was like it was going out of style or whatever he happened to be thinking while he did these sort of things.

"Hey Tori...I have to confess something."

Hatori hummed letting him know he had his attention. He assumed the characters were inspired by a movie they watched yesterday, while it was an alright film, it was more suited towards Yoshino as it was based on a shonen manga with lots of special effects. In short, it was a film that was more catered towards people with similar taste to Yoshino's.

"Tsuyoshi was inspired by you and Chiharu was me. If I'm being honest, you're like the brother I always wanted. You're like a brother and I would be the sister, no matter how far apart we were." His voice grew softer and softer. "We would always be able to find each other, we're like a family you know?"

It was time had stop dead in its tracks. His eyes widened in shock at what he had said and at how genuine Yoshino was being. They were like brothers, they were family?

"Why aren't you saying anything?!"

Finally he found his voice, "I'm sorry, it just caught me off guard. You really think we're like a family?"

He could distinctively feel his cheeks flush, a tint of red decorated his cheeks which was something that never happened in quite some time.

"Tori, are you okay?" Soft pads of his fingertips skated across the skin of his cheek only further putting him into a trance. His heartbeat grew in volume with each passing second, how Yoshino couldn't hear it remained unknown as it was perfectly audible to his ears. Hatori's vocal cords didn't seem to work so he only nodded his head in affirmation.

Racing heartbeat, flushed cheeks, mind filled the brim with a myriad of emotions. It was that feeling he was sure he would never get the chance to properly experience. Love. A crush.

There were many things Hatori Yoshiyuki wanted and it seemed like one of those things had just happened. And that was how it started.

/GG/

That discovery was a pretty big aspect of Hatori's teenage life, who he had thought to be his closest friend only to become the one who held his heart. It first was something he found to be bizarre, all due to the fact it was a guy of all people -you could have gave him one hundred guesses and he would have guessed wrong each time-

It felt euphoric. His heart raced whenever they touched, his chest fluttered whenever he saw Yoshino. It was like a dream, a completely unreal feeling only heard of in those sappy romance movies he would mentally scoff at.

Hatori knew he was being a hypocrite. Young love was definitely true and it could even melt down the walls of even the most stoic of men and the most bitter of women. It was quite a surprise though, falling for a man -his best friend at that!- rather than a woman. He had never seen any of his male peers in such a light, the women in his life were nothing but friends/classmates to him.

So that was what he assumed to be bisexuality huh?

Hatori wasn't about to tell anyone just yet, well maybe Yoshino would be the only one he would tell and of course Hatori would silence him into secrecy. It wasn't like he was scared of getting rejected by his loved ones, potentially losing that sense of security all because of something he had absolutely no control over. Okay...maybe it scared him deep down.

The very idea of losing the people in his life whom he loved was something he knew no matter what age or at what stage in life he was at, there was no way he could possibly handle that. The emotional ache that would subsequently fill the gaping hole in his heart was just not worth it in his eyes.

While Hatori trusted Yoshino with his life, there was always a voice in his head that would pester and annoy him with many questions.

What if he ever were to find out about your...little secret?

It could go two ways. Yoshino could reciprocate his feelings and with that, they started to go out. But, what if he was rejected and their friendship started to crumple at the seams. The thought of losing the most important person in his life deeply saddens him. A gaping hole in his heart would never be filled by anyone or anything.

Even if they were to start seeing each other, would it all just be a facade? Nothing but an artificial illusion made by the man himself. Hatori thought he would be happy, his one-sided love turned into a two-way street only for it to be shattered when Yoshino where to reveal:

"I...don't like you that way...I-I only said yes not to hurt your feelings."

Was this just him being pessimistic? There were far too many cons to pros that made Hatori decide it was better to keep it all to himself. As much as it hurted him, it seemed to be the lesser of two evils. He wished he could just tell him, but unfortunately, his own insecurities just caused him to shut his mouth and constantly think up a multitude of scenarios both pleasant and terrible.

He would most definitely be lying through his teeth if he were to say the pain he felt could simply be ignored. Just the thought of his one-sided love frozen in such a state caused Hatori's throat to ache, the pain almost felt real. Just thinking of his gaze catching Yoshino with another girl would make his heart constrict. While it may sound ridiculous in the eyes of another person, it was something that scared Hatori more than he would let on.

'Rejection was far better than a relationship built on pity or dating for the sake of avoiding shattering someone's feelings.' It sadly looked to be the lesser of two evils.

There were many things Hatori wanted, and it seemed the thing he wanted the most could never happen, not that he was sad about it that is.

As to why he fell for his blue-eyed friend? Hatori could only provide a vague answer as to why he fell for the man like he did.

They had been together platonically for as long as he could remember, he was always there when Yoshino needed support or a listening ear as Yoshino was for him. He loved the fact Yoshino trusted him the way he did -not to mention the fact he was metaphorically wrapped around his finger- the invisible wisps of familiarity and reliability that surrounded them was something he wouldn't trade for the world.

He theorized that maybe that love of trust and familiarity must have evolved into a feeling even a 15 year old could comprehend. That feeling fascinated him.

Whenever Hatori was around his best friend, he made it his goal to leave him grinning that beautiful grin and surely enough, that same tingly feeling he felt so long ago would diffuse to the rest of his body. Exactly like today.

It was yet another school day and like clockwork both him and Yoshino were walking to school, Yoshino chattering about whatever came to his hyperactive mind. The sun shone brightly, its light rays warmed the city for that day wrapping the civilians in an aura of warmth. For the most part, it was quite a beautiful day.

"Tori, are you listening?" The call of his voice brought him back to the real world and out of his head. Nodding his head, Yoshino continued babbling on about whatever he had happened to be talking about before.

But the ensuing comment that came from Yoshino made him all but widened his eyes. "There's a girl who asked me out yesterday! Isn't that cool?" He sounded so excited. Oh so excited, like a child who had just discovered his prized possession. All Hatori could do was abruptly stop in his tracks, but not for reasons you would first think.

A surge of pain shot up through his now parched throat, a pain Hatori could not identify. It was like how he described previously, his heart soon constricted -he was so wrong, the pain was absolutely nothing like he could ever imagine- blood had a much harder journey towards the important vesicles and blood vessels. There was a girl who had eyes on Yoshino? What if he reciprocates?

With each inhale of air, it felt like his windpipe was mere minutes from giving out, only a small amount of oxygen could make its way into his lungs. Hatori swore he could see bits of black desperately clinging onto his line of vision. What was happening? It was freaking him out to no end.

A voice fiiled to the brim with concern filled his ears, kept asking him if he was okay, lightly reprimanded him for potentially prioritizing school over his physical health -not surprisingly, this wasn't an isolated incident of course- Hatori let out a pathetically weak hum trying to brush off Yoshino's worries, he couldn't begin to properly articulate his struggles.

Hatori could distinctly feel his back collide with a tree, dark blue eyes stared at lighter blue, a layer of cloud lined his vision making it hard to identify who was in front of him.

"Tori...are you okay? Seriously, if you aren't I'll tell your teacher." That voice brought back a surge of energy, that deafening tha-thump of his heart helped Hatori identify that voice to be his crush Yoshino. The tree bark pricked the back of his neck, the light pain being just enough to feel and Hatori winced.

"How do you feel Tori? Can you make it to the school for some water?"

All Hatori wanted was to fall asleep in Yoshino arms -that would have been absolutely heavenly- whatever energy Hatori had remaining in his system slowly seeped out of him leaving him nothing but a pale husk of himself.

Perhaps this discovery was something he shouldn't have been happy about.

/GG/GG/

Tumblr: yoshiunova

Ao3: LillyUnova

I hoped you enjoyed this :)