From the café window, I watched the vampire Josiah stalk off through the crowded square. His abrupt departure left me confused. I sat back, arms crossed over my chest, and inhaled deeply through my nose. That proved to be a huge mistake, and I quickly covered my mouth with my hand, squinching my eyes shut and pinching my nostrils as I waited for the queasiness to subside. Everything I used to like, all the lovely scents and fragrances of human life, were now distressingly repulsive.

"Are you okay?"

I opened my eyes to find one of the employees standing a few feet away, a bucket of dishes propped against her hip. She regarded me uncertainly, her eyes flashing to the bucket in a likely attempt to estimate how quickly she could get it under my mouth.

I lowered my hand. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

I grabbed my purse and stood, my legs shaky. "Yeah. I'm just gonna . . . I'm gonna go." Holding my breath, I scrambled from the café into the relative fresh air of the square, breathing a sigh of relief as a gust of cold wind hit me full in the face.

Josiah probably couldn't tell me how or where to find a Watcher, even if he felt like helping me. The rules of remaining inconspicuous, making sure the human and vampire worlds stayed separate—or as separate as possible—probably prohibited him from talking. Still, there had to be extenuating circumstances that would allow me to file a complaint. Would the vampires in charge even care? There was a warrant out for Ian's arrest, so surely they would. I sat down on the edge of the fountain, my mind racing as I considered what to do next.

It took no great leap to appreciate the magnitude of Ian's mistake. Still, "mistake" was too tame a word for what he had done to me. Had John known all along that Ian was a wanted vampire? Even if he had no plans to willingly hand over his maker, John would never have allowed him out in public knowing there was a warrant out for his arrest. At the very least, John had undoubtedly known Ian was capable of hurting people.

I pounded my fist against my thigh, silently cursing both John and his blood-sucking sire. John had been my boyfriend, if only for a few weeks. He should have been protecting me. Still, if I allowed myself to be even the slightest bit objective about the situation, I supposed I could understand why John had defended Ian, safeguarding him against authorities. I would do the same for Olivia, and the bond between us was a simple bond of friendship. Though strong, it wasn't nearly as strong as the blood bond that John and Ian shared. Whatever John and I had paled in comparison to what linked him to his sire.

"You're so stupid," I muttered to myself.

Maybe I had been too hard on John. Instead of spending my last days trying to get revenge against Ian, maybe I should be spending them making peace and finding closure. Anger aside, the truth was I still cared for John.

With a sigh, I pulled my cell from my coat pocket. Meet me at your house, I texted John. I had one last thing to say.

I drove with a knot in my stomach. For two months I had ignored his attempts at communication, too irate to listen to his explanations and excuses. And yet my conversation with the vampire Josiah had made it clear that although I was still angry, and rightfully so, I couldn't go on blaming John for Ian attacking me. John hadn't set out to purposely betray me. I had to find a way to forgive him.

Trudging tiredly up the front steps, I rang the bell and waited for what seemed like an unbearably long time for anyone to answer. At last, the door slowly inched open, revealing Ian peeking out from the other side.

"Blake," he said, sounding genuinely surprised to see me. "What are ye doing here?"

It had been two months since Ian bit and infected me. Standing face to face with him now, it felt like yesterday. I cleared my throat. "Can I come in?"

He opened the door wider. "Aye. Of course."

"I'm not here as your personal blood bank," I said as I pushed past him. "I would advise you to keep your fangs to yourself."

Ian closed the door behind me. "I canna think even the most desperate of my kind would want a taste of your blood," he said. "You stink like a slab of molded meat."

"So I've been told," I said. "Is John here?"

He shook his head. "I haven't seen him since he stormed out this morning. He's especially moody these days."

"I texted him," I said. "He's probably on his way."

Ian gave me a calculated look. "You broke John's heart when you sent him away. Have ye changed your mind then?"

"Something like that." I returned the look, hesitating before I spoke again. "Can I ask you something?"

"Aye. Go on, then."

I hesitated again, not sure how to begin. Perhaps it was better to dive right in. "Are you sorry for what you did to me?"

Ian leaned back against the wall, folding his arms over his chest as he regarded me. "I am," he said. "I have a terrible weakness for blood, you see? It's my curse to bear. But I've wronged ye, lass, and for that, I am truly sorry."

My eyes brimmed with unexpected tears. "I appreciate that."

"Perhaps it's a blessing in disguise, aye?" he ventured.

"Why do you say that?"

"John loves you. Nothing is stopping you from being together. Forever."

"I guess John didn't tell you I have no intention of letting him turn me."

"He said no such thing," Ian replied. "Then again, John rarely speaks to me these days, and certainly not of his feelings."

I shrugged. "I can't be part of your world."

"Why not? Because ye think we're beasts?" He let out a harsh laugh and took a step closer, his expression changing. "I have seen more atrocities suffered at the hands of humans than I have from any of my kind."

"From what I hear, you've committed your fair share of atrocities in your lifetime."

The smug look fell from Ian's face. "I suppose I have."

At an impasse, we glared at each other from opposite ends of the foyer. "I do care for John," I said at last. "And it's because I care for him that I have to make peace with what's happened."

Ian's brows jutted slowly into his hairline. "Oh, aye?"

"Aye," I said. "I mean, yeah." I met his eyes, giving him a self-conscious smile. "I only just concluded. This morning I woke up still wanting to drive a stake into John's and your heart."

Ian snorted with the ghost of a laugh. "What changed your mind, lass?"

"Another vampire."

His brows pushed together. "Another vampire?"

"Some guy that John works with at The Marauder's Cover. Josiah Butler. I told him about what happened, and—"

Ian's skin blanched, and a range of emotions flitted across his face. He closed the distance between us and grabbed my arms, his fingers digging into my skin. "Did you say Josiah Butler?" he demanded, shaking me.

"Yeah, but I—"

He shook me again, so hard that my teeth rattled together in my mouth, preventing me from speaking. "Do you have any idea what you've done?"

I shoved him, trying to break his hold. Memories of the night he attacked me came swarming back, piercing me with their vivid reminders. I could almost feel the venom coursing through my veins, paralyzing my body.

"What do you m-mean, what I've done?"

Ian squeezed my arms, making me yelp. "Have ye no sense at all? Must you stick your nose where it doesn't belong, speakin' of my sins to other vampires?"

I twisted in his grip, too weak to break free. "What's your problem? It wasn't other vampires, for your information. It's not like I went running through the streets broadcasting the existence of paranormal creatures."

Before Ian could respond, the front door opened and John appeared, his face showing first surprise and then rage when he saw Ian's grip on me. "Let her go!" he bellowed.

Ian dropped his hands at once, though he turned his anger on John. "She's gone and found herself a Watcher."

"What?" John said.

Ian's eyes were manic. "Josiah Butler. She's gone and told him what I've done!"

"Wait a minute," I said. "Josiah Butler is a Watcher?"

John turned to me, his complexion shades paler than it normally was. "I never told you that Josiah is a Watcher."

"I had no idea," I said, rubbing my arms where Ian's fingers had dug in. "I mean, I suspected that he was a vampire, but he never said anything about being a Watcher."

"And why would he?" Ian said. "He probably sat there, listening to you run your mouth." He turned to John. "You've let your love for this girl, this . . . human infect your judgment, and look where it's got us!"

John shook his head. "I don't understand, Blake. What were you thinking?"

But it was Ian who made the connection. He backed up against the wall, running his hands through his hair. "Christ, man! He knows what I've done to her. He'll be after me now!"

I glanced from Ian to John, a sick feeling blooming in the pit of my stomach. But then fury quickly boiled up and overflowed. "Why should I care about what happens to you? You ruined my life, and all because you couldn't control yourself and your stupid cravings. Let Josiah come. I don't care!"

Ian stepped within an inch of me, his hands clenching reflexively into fists, and bent so that we stood eye to eye. When he spoke, it was in a menacing whisper that made my blood run cold. "You might not care about what happens to me, but I know you still care for John. By running to the Watcher, you've implicated him in my wrongdoing."

"What do you mean?"

"Do ye not know what happens to vampires who can't control their cravings and the ones who protect them?"

"Leave her alone," John said numbly beside me. "She shouldn't have to understand the rules of our world."

Ignoring him, Ian grabbed my jaw so that I was forced to look at him. "What did Josiah say?"

"I d-don't know."

He squeezed. "Think!"

I closed my eyes, trying to master my fear. "He, uh . . . he knew I had been infected. I didn't have to tell him that much. He said he could smell the venom in my blood."

"I can't believe you told him," John said.

"I didn't know he was a Watcher!"

"But you intended to find one," Ian said. "That's why ye went to him in the first place. You thought maybe he would point the way."

I looked down at my feet, unable to refute the accusation. "But I changed my mind."

"Aye. That may be, but not before you condemned us." He took a deep breath. "We've got to go," Ian said, but not to me. "We can't stay here. The Watcher will find us, and you know what will happen after that."

"I can't leave Blake," John said.

"She doesn't want you. She doesn't want any part of this life. Forget about her!"

"Get out of here," John said to Ian. "Go someplace where you'll be safe, and do it now. You don't have much time. We'll meet up again later." John glanced at me, his eyes filled with pain. I had betrayed Ian, but I had also betrayed him.

Heeding John's warning, knowing he didn't have a choice, Ian sprinted up the stairs, returning a few minutes later with a backpack slung over his shoulder. He grabbed John in a fierce hug. "I'll see ye soon, aye? Promise me that."

"I promise," John said. "Now go. And whatever you do, don't get caught."

I met Ian's eyes briefly, but there was nothing to say. We had each ruined the other's life, intentionally or not. There was nothing we could do about it now but let things play out how they would.

And then hopefully pick up the pieces later.

*****

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