the temptation of my hands tingled as i bit my tounge, if only i could just-

"RO!"

i jump back, hitting the ground Startled,
roman gave a worried expression as he held out his hand to lift me up off the ground
"h-hey carrie-" roman said as he sighed.

"you left me in class and i had to walk alone during the passing time!"
an annoying girl screeched towards roman, her name apparently was carrie,

i take his soft hand and i get off the ground, dusting off my uniform.

"w-who is that anyways. ive never seen them around."
carrie said acting innocent, even though every inch of their body is full of rudeness.

roman parted his soft lips,
"this is virgil!, he's in our English class.
Vee this is carrie, we're childhood friends!"

"h-hello... nice to m-meet you"
i spoke, rather quietly.

carrie froze.
"a-are y-ou guys d-dating??"
she sputtered out. frightened.

"oh no! he was just feeling anxious earlier so i comforted him!"
roman assured her, knowing she'd get jealous.

i already hate her, the nerve of her.
she loves him i already know it,
she'd hurt him, hurt him emotionally.
she'd break him, with how rude she is,

annoying.

i scratch at my wrist, turning redder and redder the more pressure i add.

but hiding the pain is easy,
but roman is so brilliant, he noticed my efforts to harm myself,

though whatever carrie was sputtering out was loud, it was all blurred out of my mind,
all i could know was him,

and his hand wrapped around my wrist, the warm feelings he had gave me, the tingles running through my veins giving me hope,
even though the presence of carrie, gave me despair.

he knew exactly what i needed, and thats why i want him the most,

through the whole conversation he kept me safe and happy,
even though i was a burden,

but i could still keep the feeling of him loving carrie.
that annoying shit,
was more loveable

i understand that im worth nothing,
but i want to be worth something- to him.

i dont understand how.