Past Regrets
Disclaimer: There is some violence in this chapter. You can skip this chapter if you are sensitive.
It is currently 11:30 am the British and the Prussians have set up their camp near the river. Meanwhile, Wellington is calmly working in his tent. Kitty Wellesley notices how exhausted Wellington is. Kitty starts speaking in a concerned tone.
Kitty Wellesley: Arthur you seem quite tired. Are you sure that you should be working?
Wellington: I'm fine Kitty.
Kitty Wellesley: You are not fine Arthur. What's wrong?
Wellington: I just didn't sleep well last night...
Kitty Wellesley: Does it involve what happened yesterday?
Wellington: Yes, I just had a bad dream...I'm upset at myself. This situation is my fault...
Kitty Wellesley: Arthur...Please don't blame yourself.
Wellington: It's my fault that Henry is upset at me. I don't think I can reconcile with him now. He's out for my blood. I think he's also lost his mind...
Kitty Wellesley: Do you want to take a break, Arthur? Maybe go for a walk perhaps? You work too hard Arthur you need to take a break.
Wellington: I guess I should take a break...
Kitty Wellesley: Go calm your mind, Arthur...I can tell that you are tired and slightly stressed out from yesterday.
Wellington calmly gets up from his desk and walks outside. Then he begins walking down to the river. A few minutes later he reaches the river's rocky edge.
He calmly stands there listening to the steady flow of the river. Along with the sound of birds chirping in the trees on the other side of the river.
*Wellington in thought*
I can't believe that Henry lied to me...
I thought he was going to apologise for what he had done.
This situation is all my fault...
I should have done something in the past but I didn't.
Henry could have told me something instead of staying silent!
I would have been able to help!
But I couldn't do anything because I didn't know that something was wrong!
He should have said something!
Wellington starts to feel tears slowly streaming down his face due to his guilt and sadness. A couple of minutes later he hears someone walking toward him. Upon looking downstream Wellington notices Victor Nyland walking toward him.
Victor Nyland stops beside Wellington and he notices his sadness. Victor starts speaking in a calm voice.
Victor Nyland: What's wrong Englishman?
Wellington awkwardly looks down at the rocky river's edge. Then he starts speaking in a tone full of sadness and regret.
Wellington: It's my fault...
Victor Nyland: What's your fault?
Wellington: My brother hates me and it's my fault. I should have done something but I didn't.
Victor Nyland: I see. I'm wondering why were you in the forest last night?
Wellington: My brother told me to meet him there. I thought he was going to apologise for betraying me...
Victor Nyland: He wasn't there to apologise was he.
Wellington: No he lied to me. He was there to kill me. He's out for my blood. He still possibly thinks I'm dead.
Victor Nyland: I doubt that him thinking your dead will last long...I suggest that you possibly be careful. If he finds out you are still alive he probably won't hesitate to kill you.
Wellington quietly sighs to himself out of slight frustration. Then he starts speaking in a slightly calmer tone that still has a hint of guilt to it.
Wellington: I thought that I would be able to repair this relationship...But it seems that nothing can be done now. Henry doesn't want to reconcile.
Victor Nyland: Sometimes things are too far beyond repair. Or sometimes it's best to let go.
Wellington: I didn't want to let this relationship go he is my brother and I love him still...
Victor Nyland: It takes a while to let go. It does hurt when you do lose a friend. Or when you are even betrayed by a friend.
Wellington: He wanted me to fight him and possibly kill him...I can't do that! I still love him! Now we are fighting on opposite sides of this war!
Victor Nyland: I understand that. He is your brother and you love him. But it seems that he couldn't kill you that night either. If he wanted to kill you he would have cut a bit deeper.
Wellington: That's true...
Victor Nyland: I shall leave you to think Englishman...
Wellington: Alright.
Victor Nyland calmly walks off upstream.
*Wellington in thought*
He is right. Why didn't Henry cut deeper?
Did he not want to kill me?
Does he still love me deep down?
I still don't think that this relationship can be repaired. Even if he does love me a little bit still.
I don't think this relationship can be repaired by love...
I still wish I could have done something to stop this from occurring.
I don't want to have to hurt or even kill Henry. Because then Richard and William would possibly hate me for killing Henry or possibly even hurting him.
How am I meant to find peace with this situation and just let go?
It hurts...
Suddenly Wellington feels something touch his shoulder. Then he hears a faint whisper in his ear.
Henry Wellesley: Hello dear brother...
Wellington quickly turns around and notices Henry staring at him with his sabre drawn. Wellington calmly draws his sabre and waits for Henry to attack. But as soon as Wellington blinks Henry is gone.
*Wellington in thought*
Not this madness again...
Why must it make me suffer?
I don't want to deal with Henry tormenting me even though he isn't even here!
Why does this have to happen now!?
I guess I am stressing out too much that it's just putting a huge toll on my mental state...
This whole situation has been stressful and it seems it might not end anytime soon.
Especially if Henry finds out I'm not actually dead...He will probably continue trying to kill me.
I just want this to end!
I don't want it to continue anymore it needs to stop!
A few minutes later Lord Uxbridge walks up to Wellington and stands calmly beside him. Wellington starts speaking in a calm voice.
Wellington: Uxbridge why are you here?
Lord Uxbridge: I heard what happened last night sir...
Wellington quietly sighs to himself out of slight irritation. Lord Uxbridge starts speaking in a concerned tone.
Lord Uxbridge: What did he want sir?
Wellington: I thought he wanted to apologise. But he lied to me he wanted to kill me Uxbridge...
Lord Uxbridge: I see...I'm assuming that he still thinks that you are dead sir?
Wellington: Yes but I have a feeling him knowing that I'm dead won't last long. He will eventually figure out that I'm not dead and will try and kill me again.
Lord Uxbridge: Are you alright after last night sir?
Wellington: He didn't hurt me that bad. But the weird thing is it seems he couldn't kill me...
Lord Uxbridge: What do you mean sir?
Wellington: He had the will to do it. But I saw this faint spark in his eyes. As if he still loved me and didn't want to hurt me at that moment. But I still have a feeling that love won't bring him back...
Lord Uxbridge: I'm sorry about that sir.
Wellington: You don't need to be sorry about that Uxbridge it's not your fault.
Lord Uxbridge: I shall get back to my duties. But please don't blame yourself, sir.
Wellington: Alright Uxbridge...
Lord Uxbridge calmly walks off leaving Wellington alone in his thoughts. Meanwhile, in the French camp, Joseph Ney is calmly working at his desk. While Henry Wellesley is cleaning the blood off his sabre.
Joseph Ney notices this and he starts speaking in a calm voice.
Joseph Ney: Did you kill him?
Henry Wellesley: Yes he's dead...I left him to bleed that pathetic bastard...
Joseph Ney: I thought that you wouldn't be able to kill him. Like he was your brother and that's a hard thing to do.
Henry Wellesley: I wanted to be rid of him he ruined my life. I hated him. I wanted to make him bleed and have his blood stain my sword.
Joseph Ney: I guess now we have to wait and see if the British surrender.
Henry Wellesley: My goal has been fulfilled. I shall be able to live a new life now. I won't have to worry about being in anyone's shadow ever again or end up being sidelined by the rest of my family.
Joseph Ney: The French Empire will now rule all of Europe. We won't have to worry about the British stopping us now. They have lost their glorious leader!
Henry Wellesley finishes cleaning his sabre and puts it back in his sheath. Then he starts speaking in a calm and slightly cheerful voice.
Henry Wellesley: I'm going to get some water. Luckily the river isn't too far from here.
Joseph Ney: Alright.
Henry Wellesley calmly exits the tent and begins walking to the river. A few minutes later he reaches a small forest and begins calmly walking through it.
Listening to the calming sounds of the nearby river along with the chirping of the birds and the rustling of the leaves. Upon getting close to the river's edge he then notices Wellington standing across from him.
Henry Wellesley quickly hides behind a nearby tree out of the shock of seeing Wellington.
*Henry Wellesley in thought*
How is he still alive!?
I thought I had killed him!
I left him to bleed and left him to suffer a slow and painful death!
I can't believe this!
I thought I was going to be able to live a peaceful life.
But I guess the war is still going to continue...
Although I'm still questioning how he is still alive!
A couple of minutes later Wellington calmly walks off. Then Henry Wellesley quietly and cautiously walks to the rocky river edge. He then begins hastily filling his canteen.
After a few minutes of struggling to fill his canteen later, Henry Wellesley begins walking back to the French camp.
A few minutes later Henry Wellesley enters Joseph Ney's tent. Then he starts speaking in a frustrated and slightly enraged voice.
Henry Wellesley: He is still alive! My brother is still alive!
Joseph Ney: How is that possible?
Henry Wellesley: I don't know.
Joseph Ney: How do you know that he is still alive Henry?
Henry Wellesley: I saw him down near the river when I went to fill my canteen.
Joseph Ney: Did he see you?
Henry Wellesley: No he didn't notice me luckily. But I can't believe that he is still alive! I just want to get rid of that bastard!
Joseph Ney: You will find another chance to kill him again. Besides, the battle will probably start soon.
Henry Wellesley: Your right Joseph. But I'm still frustrated that he is still alive!
Joseph Ney: I understand that you are frustrated...But just calm down for now Henry. Remember there are always other opportunities.
Henry Wellesley: Yes Joseph.
A few hours later in the British camp, Wellington is calmly writing something at his desk. Kitty Wellesley starts speaking in a calm voice.
Kitty Wellesley: Arthur are you feeling better?
Wellington: Yes I'm feeling better. I guess I did just need to take a break and have a walk.
Kitty Wellesley: I'm glad that you are feeling better Arthur. I don't like seeing you upset and you know that.
Wellington: I also don't like seeing you upset either my love.
Kitty Wellesley: But remember I will always be here to comfort you when you need it.
Wellington: I will also always do the same for you, my dear Kitty.
Kitty Wellesley: Don't forget to have something to eat Arthur. I know that you work too hard sometimes and you forget to eat.
Wellington: I will eat something soon Kitty. Don't worry too much my love.
*Wellington in thought*
I'm not sure what is going to happen when Henry finds out that I'm still alive.
Would he dare to try to kill me again?
I just want him to stop doing this...
I don't want to have to hurt him to make him stop.
I still love him and I don't want to have to let this relationship go yet.
But it just feels like there is nothing that I can do about it.
I'm going to have to let it go eventually. But not yet.
I still see something in Henry that could possibly repair our relationship. But at this point, I'm also doubtful that our relationship can be repaired by our bond as brothers along with our brotherly love.
Just focus on your work Arthur. You need to concentrate on your work.
A few hours later the sun is now setting and Henry Wellesley has returned to the edge of the river bank. He kneels down and begins staring at his reflection in the steadily flowing river.
Suddenly he hears the sound of metal hitting the rocky river's edge across from him. Looking up he notices Victor Nyland staring at him while firmly grasping his double-bladed weapon.
Victor Nyland starts speaking in a calm yet serious voice.
Victor Nyland: Why are you here sir? Have you returned to try and kill your brother once again?
Henry Wellesley: How do you know that I tried to kill him!?
Victor Nyland: I saved his life. You left him to bleed out in the middle of the forest. Or possibly be eaten by the beasts that live in that forest.
Henry Wellesley: I wanted to make him suffer for what he did to me!
Victor Nyland: If you really wanted to kill him you would have. But it seems you don't have the strength to. You also seem like a coward to just leave him there to bleed to death.
Henry Wellesley: I am not a coward!
Victor Nyland: You are a coward and a fool. I have killed many in my life and I wasn't afraid to do it unlike you.
Henry Wellesley: Stop calling me a coward!
Victor Nyland: I don't know why you want your brother dead. But I know that you still love him deep down and you don't truly want to kill him...
Henry Wellesley feels the tears slowly starting to stream down his face. Then he starts speaking in a full voice of hatred.
Henry Wellesley: I don't love him! It's his fault that I'm like this! It's his fault that I'm now broken and bloodthirsty!
Victor Nyland: I know that you still love him. He still loves you.
Henry Wellesley: The only reason he loves me is that he is desperate for me to forgive him! It's honestly pathetic. He can love me all he likes but I will not return to his side!
Suddenly Henry Wellesley notices Wellington approaching them. Henry goes back to awkwardly staring at his reflection.
Wellington stops and stares at Henry who is not acknowledging his presence. Wellington starts speaking in a calm voice that has a hint of sadness to it.
Wellington: Henry...
Henry Wellesley: Arthur stop trying to bring me back to your side! You have to realise that I don't love you anymore!
Wellington: Henry I don't want to have to kill you...I want us to be together again as a family.
Henry Wellesley: I doubt that you would be able to kill me! You didn't even want to fight me! You are such a coward!
Wellington: Please return to my side Henry...
Henry Wellesley: Why should I return to your side!? It's your fault that I'm like this! It's your fault that I'm broken! It's your fault that our relationship is shattered! Stop begging Arthur you are never going to be able to fix this!
Wellington: Henry I'm sorry.
Henry Wellesley: Stop saying your sorry! It's not enough Arthur! Besides, you will never have my forgiveness so just go back to your camp and don't return to me again!
Henry Wellesley gets up and storms off through the forest. Victor Nyland stares at Wellington and notices the tears starting to stream down his face. Victor Nyland starts speaking in a calm voice.
Victor Nyland: Do you want me to leave you alone?
Wellington: No I'm fine...
Victor Nyland: You are not fine. I can tell that his words hurt you.
Wellington: I'm fine...
Victor Nyland: You are not fine. Don't lie to yourself. You are hurting.
Wellington: I'm going to go head back to the camp.
Victor Nyland: Alright...
Wellington begins walking back to the camp. A couple of hours later it is now 11:30 pm and Wellington is writing something at his desk. While Kitty Wellesley is lying in bed.
Noticing that Wellington is still working she starts speaking in a slightly concerned voice.
Kitty Wellesley: Arthur...It's late. You need to stop working so hard. You need to rest.
Wellington: I'm almost finished.
Kitty Wellesley: Arthur you can finish it tomorrow. I don't want you working so hard to the point that it's making you exhausted.
Wellington: Fine...Your right I shouldn't be pushing myself to the point of exhaustion.
Wellington finishes writing and gently puts his quill down beside the paper he was writing on. Then he takes off his boots and places them under his desk.
He then begins undoing the buttons on his coat. Then he gets up from his desk and places his coat on the back of his chair.
He then walks over to his bed and lies down beside Kitty. Kitty starts speaking in a calm voice.
Kitty Wellesley: Are you alright Arthur? I just noticed that when you came back you seemed a bit upset about something.
Wellington: I'm alright Kitty. Just something happened that's all.
Kitty Wellesley: You're still upset about what Henry did aren't you?
Wellington: A little bit...But I don't think he will be bothering me for a while.
Kitty Wellesley: Good night Arthur.
Wellington: Good night Kitty.
They both close their eyes and go to sleep. Wellington slowly opens his eyes and he notices that he is in a dark and misty forest.
He looks around and tries to see anything. But due to the thickness of the mist, he can barely see anything. Wellington starts to feel uneasy due to the silence of the forest.
Suddenly he hears the sound of leaves crunching behind him along with the sound of a sword being slowly drawn. Wellington quickly turns around and Henry Wellesley emerges from the fog.
Wellington cautiously draws his sabre and he starts speaking in an anxious voice.
Wellington: Henry please I don't want to do this...I don't want to have to hurt you.
Henry Wellesley: How did you become such a cowardly man Arthur?
Wellington: I'm not being a coward Henry!
Henry Wellesley: Why don't you want to fight me then Arthur!?
Wellington: Because I don't want to hurt you, Henry I love you...
Henry Wellesley: I don't love you anymore Arthur and I don't care how much you love me!
Wellington: Henry I apologise...
Henry Wellesley: I don't accept your apology and I never will!
Henry Wellesley violently swings his sword and Wellington quickly blocks it with his sabre. Then Wellington tries to fling the sabre out of Henry's hand. But Henry suddenly kicks Wellington in the stomach knocking him to the ground.
Henry then tries to slice Wellington in the chest. But Wellington quickly grabs his sabre off the ground and blocks the attack. Then Wellington manages to knock the sabre out of Henry's hand sending it flying a couple of metres away.
Henry Wellesley goes to grab his sabre and Wellington hastily gets up. Wellington starts speaking in an anxious voice.
Wellington: Henry, please stop this we can talk about this!
Henry Wellesley: Why do you want to talk if you didn't want to talk before!?
Wellington: I didn't know what I was doing wrong Henry you didn't tell me anything!
Henry Wellesley: You didn't notice my pain and sadness! You just cared about the war and not me!
Wellington: Henry I can only focus on one thing at a time and I'm sorry that I didn't do anything!
Henry Wellesley: This is why it's your fault! Because you did nothing!
Wellington: Henry I didn't mean to sideline you. You should have told me something!
Henry Wellesley: I tried but you didn't listen!
Henry Wellesley runs at Wellington and tries to stab him. But Wellington blocks the attack. Then Henry kicks Wellington into the trunk of a tree.
Henry then slices Wellington across the cheek causing his scar to reopen. Wellington starts speaking in a terrified voice.
Wellington: Henry please don't do this! I'm sorry for what I did! Please forgive me!
Henry Wellesley: I will never forgive you for what you did!
Henry Wellesley violently kicks Wellington in the stomach. Causing Wellington to slam into the tree and then fall onto his knees.
Wellington anxiously looks up at Henry who has his sword pointed at Wellington's throat. Wellington continues speaking in a terrified voice.
Wellington: Henry I'm your brother! You don't have to do this! If you kill me you will regret it! Please don't make this mistake Henry!
Henry Wellesley: This will not be a mistake at all Arthur! I will be killing the one who made me into this bloodthirsty killer!
Wellington: I'm sorry Henry!
Henry Wellesley: You can say sorry all you want but I will never forgive you, Arthur!
Henry Wellesley prepares to slit Wellington's throat. Henry smirks and he starts speaking in a mocking tone.
Henry Wellesley: Your such a coward...It's honestly pathetic and amusing at the same time seeing you beg for your life.
Wellington: Henry I don't want you to do this...
Henry Wellesley: Of course, you don't want me to kill you. I, unfortunately, have no choice but to kill you! You pathetic bastard!
Wellington: I still love you, Henry...
Henry Wellesley: Oh how sad and pathetic that you still love me...Too bad that I don't love you anymore. I hate you Arthur and you know it!
Henry Wellesley suddenly slits Wellington's throat. Causing Wellington to wake up and he feels his heart pounding hard in his chest.
Then he feels tears starting to slowly stream down his face. He tries to compose himself by taking deep breaths. But instead, he can't regain his composure and he starts quietly sobbing.
A couple of minutes later Kitty Wellesley starts waking up due to Wellington's sobbing. Kitty opens her eyes and she notices that Wellington is sobbing.
Kitty Wellesley starts speaking in a concerned voice.
Kitty Wellesley: Arthur my love what's wrong?
Wellington: Henry said that's it my fault that he wants to kill me...He blames me for this whole situation.
Kitty Wellesley: Arthur...
Wellington: He killed me...
Kitty Wellesley gently strokes Wellington's hair to try and comfort him. She then starts speaking in a comforting voice.
Kitty Wellesley: Arthur it's alright I'm here. It was just a dream it wasn't real he isn't here to hurt you, Arthur.
Wellington: It felt real and reminded me of what happened between me and Henry. He said such hurtful things.
Kitty Wellesley: Well that's what happens when people are angry. Hurtful things are sometimes said and we can regret saying those things.
Wellington: I just don't want Henry to be angry at me anymore I want it to stop.
Kitty Wellesley: I understand that you want him to stop being angry at you Arthur. But for now, just calm down and then go back to sleep.
A few minutes later Wellington calms down and Kitty starts speaking in a calm voice.
Kitty Wellesley: Are you alright now Arthur?
Wellington: Yes I'm fine.
Kitty Wellesley: Get some rest, Arthur.
Wellington: Yes my love.
Kitty Wellesley: I shall see you in the morning Arthur.
Wellington: Same with you my dear Kitty.
They both close their eyes and enter a deep and peaceful sleep while holding each other's hands.
To be Continued...
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