Maya

The veterinarian looks at Ulf oddly.

I don't blame her.

Ulf is well-behaved for a young pup, and hardly made a sound except when she got her shots.

This is a recipe for disaster, I thought.

I watch the vet carefully. Carlos sits next to me, leaning forward as he braces his elbows on his knees.

He's getting better at manipulating people's senses. Right now Ulf looks like a weird husky than a wolf cub we plucked from the wilds.

"Is she normally this quiet?" The vet asks.

I shrug. "She's pretty well-behaved. Hasn't chewed my shoes yet or shit in the garden but there's always time."

The vet laughs and jots something down on the clipboard. "She's healthy for her age. I think everything checks out."

Carlos nods. "That's good."

"Is she yours?"

"She belongs to my siblings." He said. "I'm just here for moral support."

"That's so sweet of you."

Carlos looks like he wants to say something else but just nods.

Ulf—our wolf cub now—is as fit as a fiddle. The vet tells us to make sure she eats plenty of food and gets enough exercise. Easier said than done. I can't even imagine how huge she's going to be when she's an adult.

Sooner or later, I'll have to start hunting game to feed her.

"Thanks, kiddo."

Carlos slides past Ulf and nestles himself as far as he can from her. "No problem. I'm pretty sure the Vet didn't notice."

"You're getting better at this."

"Training is helping." He shrugs. "I think this is the longest I was able to manipulate someone's senses."

I pick up Ulf and put her in Annette's lap. She scratches her behind the ears, muttering praise after praise. It would be cute if I wasn't constantly reminded that she was petting a freaking wolf!

Mariah Carey's All I Want For Christmas croons through the radio.

Annette and Rayan sing along, loudly and off-key. I hum along with them while Safia taps her boot-clad feet against the dashboard. Carlos winces each time Annette attempts a high night.

The Christmas season vibes wouldn't be complete without this particular song. I used to hate it but now that I'm older, I have a slight appreciation for it.

Last year I spent Christmas Eve with my mom and Christmas Day with the Avengers. This year, I was hoping that I would get to spend Christmas with with mom.

So much for that.

I knew she was furious with me. Not for missing the holidays but because I had gone underground. Again.

At least I gave her a warning.

I'm sure once this was all over she'd give me a talking-to severe enough to keep me in Seattle with her for a year.

The town is in full Christmas mode. Holly and garlands and endless streams of LED light deck the street lamps and storefronts.

I feel like I've stepped into a Hallmark movie set.

Drew closed the shop for a whole week, visiting family in the next town over. I'll just have to leave him his Christmas present at his door.

There isn't a mall in Choutou, just some stores that somehow managed to survive the recession. It ain't much but it's worth something.

I kill the ignition.

"Alrighty, kids. You remember the rules?"

I get a chorus of answers from the back seat.

"How much can we spend on gifts again?" Safia asks.

"Keep it under twenty."

"In this economy?"

"Fine." I pass her an envelope of cash that I kept to the side. "Twenty-five bucks for each of you."

Ulf barks, pawing at the seats.

"You're coming with me," I said, narrowing my eyes. "I'm not letting you into a store."

Carlos leans forward, pulling his hoodie up. "Where do we meet when we're done?"

"Pizza shop on the corner." I point down the street. "You guys want anything specific? Tell me now or we'll end up eating pineapple pizza again."

Annette and Rayan groan.

"There's nothing wrong with Pineapple on pizza," Carlos mutters as he gets out of the truck.

Safia scoffs. "I'm pretty sure it's a war crime, Carlos."

—

Someone calls my phone as I pick up presents for the kids.

"Hello?" I chirp.

"Hey. I didn't think you would answer."

"Steve?" I blink, recognizing his voice.

"Do you know any other Steve?"

I laugh and pay the bill, taking the bag from the cashier. "I don't know. It's not like it's a super common name or anything. What are you up to?"

"Uh...well..."

Ulf is tied to a lamppost, chewing on her leash. She stops, dropping it when she sees me.

"Steve," I say. "I don't like that tone."

"Yeah, Tony is planning something."

"You know, technically I'm underground." I remind him. "You're not supposed to know where I am. If he's planning something, he can wait till next year."

"You know I can't stop him."

"You're Captain America."

"Oh, really? I forgot. Thanks for reminding me."

I sit down on the bench near Ulf. She paws at the shopping bag, sniffing it for something to eat.

I sigh, rubbing my forehead. "Is he sending me something expensive?"

"No, but he is sending you—"

"Is that Maya?" I hear someone call out from the background. "Move over, Cap. I wanna talk to her!"

There's a scuffle and Steve curses much to my surprise. "Sam, give me back the phone!"

"Nah, not a chance!" Sam exclaims. "Woman, so you know how boring it is without you around?! I swear to god if you don't return, I'll do something stupid like paint Bucky's arm hot pink!"

"Aw, Sam. How sweet of you." I roll my eyes. "I'm sure you can manage to annoy Bucky without me."

"He's the one holding Steve back."

"Hey, Maya! We miss you! Come back already!" Bucky yells out.

I cover my mouth and try to contain my laughter.

"Are you guys talking to, Maya?" Someone else asks, Tony I'm assuming. "Uh oh, Fury is going to put you guys in time out."

"Fat chance," I snort.

"Alright. Hand over the phone, Wilson Powers. I need to catch up with my favourite Avenger."

Steve speaks up. I think he and Bucky are wrestling. "I thought I was your favourite Avenger!"

"You're my second favourite Avenger. Keep it up and you'll be my third favourite," he replied before plucking the phone out of Sam's hand. "Hello, your favourite billionaire, playboy, philanthropist is speaking."

"Tony," I purr. "A little red, white, and blue birdie told me that you're sending me a present."

"Presents. Plural."

"Semantics, Tony."

"Listen, I know you're 'technically' in hiding but thank you for the presents. Stephen was very grumpy when he delivered them?"

"Isn't always grumpy?"

"Meh. Tomato, tomato." He remarked. "Anywho...F.R.I.D.A.Y. and I made sure to keep them under Christmas tree."

"Good luck trying to keep Pietro out of the gifts."

He chuckles, a bit dark. "Don't worry. I have a plan to take care of Sonic the theifhog."

"Good luck with that."

My phone beeps and I know that I have to say goodbye soon. I can't make calls that go past twenty minutes.

Looks like I'll have to get a new phone again.

"I have to go, Tony," I said, feeling my eyes sting a little. "I need to pick up the kids before they burn down a store or something."

"Yeah, got it. You and your mini army." He sighs. "Take care of yourself. Tell the kids Uncle Tony says hello. Hold on, I'm putting you on speaker."

"I will." The phone beeps again. "Bye, guys! Happy Holidays!"

They all chorus back 'Merry Christmas' and 'Happy Holidays.' It sucks that I can't see them. I could really use their help.

The line goes dead, ending the call.

Ulf barks, sounding like a squeaky toy. She placed her paws on my knees, looking at me.

"Yeah, yeah," I said, breaking the phone and tossing it into the nearest garbage bin. "Don't worry, Ulf. I got you a present too."

—

The pizza shop is busy but I manage to find a corner booth.

Ulf tucks herself next to me, curling her tail around herself. I must be as warm as a stove if she's willing to get this close to me.

I reach out and pet her back. Her fur is surprisingly soft, like fine silk threads. She lets out a content whine, her eyes half-hooded.

I can't help but look around at the people around us. Families are chatting happily over large pies of pizza as Christmas music filters through the air.

Sometimes I used to step out of Avengers Tower and find some obscure cafe to read a book in. I used to look up occasionally from my pages and watch as people swirled around me, lost in their own worlds.

I used to make up stories about each of them, pretending I was in their shoes.

Dr Franz called it 'people watching.'

I called it creeping.

For some reason, it was families that affected me the most.

My family was always incomplete. My earliest memories were always of Mom and I. There were moments in my life where the absence of my father felt like a crater in my stomach, no matter what I fed it, I would always hunger for it.

Of course, that changed quickly once Raza stepped into my life and shredded it to pieces.

Then there was the Avengers and Loki. They slowly became my family, entrenching themselves into my life till I could no longer imagine it without them.

Loki was many things to me. Lover, confidant, and sweet enemy. I hoped one day he would have been my family. Maybe something more.

I feel Ulf nudged my side, her wet nose pressed against my wrist. She blinked her eyes up at me, wagging her tail.

I let out a huff, smiling as I scratched her behind her ears. "I'm alright," I say.

She lays her head in my lap. I run my fingers through her fur and look out the window.

I see my siblings on the other side, arms full of bags and boxes, chatting excitedly as they cross the street.

Emma is also there. I watch as she holds Safia's hand and helps the kids cross the street.

I had a good feeling about that kid.

—

Christmas Day comes quickly.

It almost feels like a dream. The kids enjoy their holidays; building gingerbread houses, having snowball fights, drinking hot chocolate, and just generally acting like kids.

It's so normal. I love it.

Emma even visits, her arm full of baked goods.

Safia and her spend most of their time in their room. Their heads are always low, giggling and whispering to each other. Safia smiles more when Emma is around. She thinks I haven't noticed but I have.

I'm awakened by Ulf who decided it was my turn to take her outside.

She wags her tail so hard I'm afraid it's going to fall off. It's me or she's grown a bit despite being here only a couple of days.

Ulf yips, laying her paw on my chest.

I rub my eyes, letting out a yawn. "You don't get the concept of 'sleeping in', do you?"

She tilts her head, whining.

"Ugh!" I get up, tossing off the covers. "Annette! Come get your dog!"

"Our dog!" She calls out from the kitchen. 

I grumble and tug on my dressing robe. "Your dog!"

Ulf jumps off the bed, shaking her head. She waits by the door, pawing the carpet.

"One day I'm going to make a fur coat out of you," I said as I hooked the leash onto her collar.

I can hear the kids in the kitchen as the radio is tuned into a local station. Annette is giggling as Carlos and Rayan bicker over something.

I can smell spices and sugary frosting.

Ulf tugs the leash forward, pulling me into the kitchen. 

"Ulf, slow down or I'll—"

"I don't remember you liking dogs, Maya." A voice intones gently. "You were always more of a cat person."

My heart stops and then kicks into a sprint and the sound of her voice.

Mom stood in the kitchen, a red apron tied around her waist. She's wearing a pale orange dress with ruby earrings. In her arms is a large mixing bowl, flour powdered over her nose.

She looked effortlessly ethereal, her gentle blue eyes watery

I drop the leash.

"Mom?" My voice sounds small.

She puts the bowl down. "Oh, Maya."

I walk towards her and wrap my arms around her torso pulling her into a tight hug. She smells like Channel No 5 and strawberries—my favourite thing in the whole wide world.

She smells like the childhood I wished I could remember.

I feel like a little girl again, running into my mother's arms after a rough day at school.

Mom hugs tight me in the middle of the kitchen, her hand rubs my back slowly. "I'm sorry for the sudden surprise."

"No," I smile and pull back, grinning like a lunatic. "It's perfect. I can't believe you're here."

"Well, Fury informed me that we have some new additions to the family."

I scratch the back of my neck, glancing at the four other people in the room who are blatantly staring at me.

"I assume introductions were made."

"You assume correctly." Mom said. "Safia let me in. Of course, after she nearly frazzled my hair."

Safia drops the gumdrops she's trying to put on the gingerbread house. "Sorry about that." She says sheepishly. "I got spooked, you know?"

Did Safia just apologize? Willingly?

Carlos shrugs, just as confused as I am.

Mom brushes it off. "No worries. I'm used to superpower antics. You should see what Maya got up to when she was your age."

Safia's eyes sparkled. "Oh, do tell me more!"

I wrap my arm around Mom's shoulders and turn her away from the living Frankenstein bolt. "Kids, this is..."

"Oh, allow me." Mom glances at me and the corner of her lips tugs up. "I'm Maya's mother but I suppose technically I'm also your stepmother."

"Do we have to call you stepmother?" Rayan asked.

"Do you want to call me that?"

He shook his head. "No."

"Then do you want to call me, sweetie?"

Rayan looked up at me. I nodded back. "Bonus Mom?"

I never thought how strange it would be to hear someone else call my mom 'Mom.'

Mom looks ridiculously happy, she looks like she glowing. She pets Rayan's hair, the corners of her eyes crinkling.

"I'm fine with that."

Safia looks amused. "You don't look like mother and daughter."

Carlos flicks her ear. "Don't be rude. It's genetics, Bolthead. You'd know that if you actually paid attention in class."

Safia throws a gumdrop at him but he ducks out the way. Ulf surges forward and snaps it out of the air, her tail wagging excitedly.

Annette grabs Ulf by the collar when she tries to swipe the chocolate chips from the table. "You two are definitely related." She said. "What was Maya like when she was a kid?"

"Why is everyone so interested in that?"

Mom chuckles and sits down at the dining table. She reaches into a red bag and pulls out a photo album which I'm dreading already.

I get flashbacks to two years ago when she bought my baby photos to share with the Avengers.

Tony changed the group chat profile picture to a photo of 5-year-old me, covered in glitter with a red feather boa wrapped around my neck.

Oh, the horror.

"Mom," I hiss, my face flushing.

She waves her fingers in the air. "Oh hush, Maya. It's only family here."

The kids gather around her like moths to a lamp. Even Carlos—who by the way—doesn't like strangers but he's hanging onto her every word.

Mom said the word 'family' like it was natural to her. These kids weren't even her own but here she was treating with nothing more than kindness and respect.  I always knew she was a good person but sometimes she liked to surprise me.

Family, huh?

Yeah. I guess it is my family.

I grab a chair and sit down, watching my family.

I think this is enough for now.

The hole in my chest closes a little bit.

—

Mom and I drink spiked Hot Chocolate as the kids pour over their presents.

She is even bought them presents.

She got Safia a gold locket with matching earrings, Carlos a book about Astronomy and a telescope, Annette a pink Polaroid Camera and a box of film, and Rayan got a a Lego set of the Avengers Tower.

Gods, these kids are going to be spoiled.

Mom got me a blue Kashmir sweater and a matching scarf with gloves.

Hey, I'm not complaining. It's cold out here and Kashmir wool is soft as hell. Plus, blue is my favorite color.

The Avengers also sent gifts, courtesy of Tony.

Safia was given a pair of knives by Nat, Carlos was gifted a calligraphy set by Wanda and Vision, Annette got a leather satchel purse from Steve and Bucky, and Rayan got a pair of fidget devices made by Tony and Bruce.

Clint and his family send me a holiday card and a leather jacket with my name on it.

"This is wonderful," mom started, taking a sip of her hot chocolate. "I always wanted more kids. You know...before everything. I wish I could've given you this when you were growing up. You didn't deserve to be alone."

I held her hand. "Mom, this is enough. Look at them." I watch as Annette and Rayan play chess in front of the fireplace. Carlos has his head in Safia's lap as he points out a mistake Annette made. "I want them to feel safe. I want them to have the things I didn't growing up. I don't want them to turn out like me."

"There is nothing wrong with you, Maya." She squeezes my hand. "I know this isn't how you wanted your life to go but at least you are alive. That is what matters."

The kids are oblivious to our conversation. I'm pretty sure Carlos is trying to listen in.

"I can't believe I didn't want them. How stupid of me to get attached." I turn my head to look at her. "Is that a bad thing to say?"

"No, my love." She pushed my hair out of her face and held my face in her hands. I close my eyes and lean into her touch, missing her warmth. "It's very human of you."

"Mom..."

"Listen to me, Maya. I see part of  them in you—all the pain, the fear, the anger. Fury told me everything, how you went against the security council and took them in. Maya, you're not weak for caring about them. Your heart, whether you disagree with me or not, has always been good. Of course you're scared. You want to protect them just like how I wanted to protect you."

I never thought of it that way.

"But what if I fail them?"

"Oh, luv. These kids love you. That means you haven't failed them." She says. "This is your family now. Our family."