It turned out I wouldn't have to keep Nancy's pregnancy a secret for long.

She had come downstairs to meet me in the kitchen as I ate my dinner alone after my meeting with Vincent. She had walked over to the fridge to grab a bag of apple slices and some water, not really acknowledging me until she was on her way out. She had paused then, cradling the items to her chest.

"I'm telling them the news tomorrow," she said. She had tapped her stomach in case I didn't get what she was saying. "Invite Darren over too. I don't like him but he's practically family."

With a spoonful of carrot and celery chunks from the soup in my mouth, all I could do was nod.

It was hard for me to sleep that night. All I could do was lie awake picturing everyone's reactions. There would probably be a lot of conflicting emotions. They'd want to celebrate but at the same time the loss of Adonis would hang in the air. It seemed that all of them believed him to be guilty of drug trafficking so would they even feel that bad about remembering he was gone? A horrible thought crossed my mind. The thought that maybe they would be relieved Adonis wasn't around to put his family in any more danger than they thought he had.

Nancy was the one who had a lot on her plate. She was the one with a lot of reasons to struggle. I couldn't help but dream about all of the concerned looks I had been recently getting shifting their direction to her. I dreamt of my relatives confiding in me about Nancy, telling me they worried about her, trusting me with the heavy stuff because I was the one who had to be strong for her.

I was glad I'd have Darren around. He was good at these kinds of things. He always knew what to say - which ironically might have ended up bugging Nancy even more than if he said something lame. Nonetheless, he'd ease the tension a bit and he'd be there for me to hold onto. Nancy must have been coming around to him if she wanted him around for her announcement. Maybe she was starting to see him through my eyes.

Tìo and Tìa arrived from work as expected. Grabbing Julio from his spot in front of the computer, Nancy dragged him into the living room where everyone else was already sitting. My uncle gave her a strange look. He was bracing himself, I could tell. Nancy seemed as if she was about to say something when she noticed the empty spot beside me on the couch.

"He's running late," I mouthed to her apologetically. I avoided her eye roll by checking my phone. He hadn't said anything since he texted to say he would be there. He was probably driving. Just when he was just starting to win her over he had to be late.

Everyone was already watching Nancy expectantly. She rubbed her hands together and posed herself in the archway of the living room. "I have you all here because there is something I want to tell you," she said, her voice wavering slightly.

"You found an apartment?" my uncle asked. He placed an arm around the back of the couch with a hawk-like stare. He was trying to read Nancy. I wondered if he suspected something already.

"No. I'll tell you all when Mickey's boyfriend gets here," Nancy said, pointedly not uttering his name.

My aunt's painted eyebrows lifted in excitement. "Oh, Darren's coming over? Ay, que bueno. I haven't seen him much lately."

I smiled instead of saying anything. I didn't want to encourage any upbeat chatter when Nancy was so obviously hurting.

"Hey, while we're all here, can one of you tell my parents they can't lock me up forever just because they found some weed?" Julio whined. He stood on the opposite side of the room looking exasperated. "It's not even a big deal! Everyone smokes it."

"And if everyone else jumps out the window, are you going to do it too?" my uncle replied quietly but sternly. He never yelled at anyone. It usually made him more intimidating but the phrase he used was so cliche that any impact he was hoping to make fell flat.

"Here we go . . ." Julio shook his head and made a break for the kitchen. "I'm getting a snack."

Nancy's eyebrows knit together as she looked at Julio and then back at the rest of us. "Julio's smoking weed?"

"We never got a chance to tell you but yes," my aunt said with a sigh.

Nancy cringed. "Gross."

There was a moment of peace before a yell came from the kitchen.

"Who ate all the chips?! The bag was full yesterday!"

Nancy whipped around. She didn't leave the living room but projected her voice so she could be heard throughout the whole house. "Why are you so mad? Trying to appease all your druggy cravings?"

My aunt, uncle and I all shared a look. Nancy had been politely distrubed at Julio's drug use just seconds ago and now she was livid. Did pregnancy cause mood swings?

"It was you, wasn't it?" Julio said, pointing a finger accusingly at Nancy as he walked back into the room. "Well, I hope you enjoyed them because they're going straight to your stomach."

Nancy's nostrils flared. Her cheeks went red and a vibrant green vein in her forehead popped out like a wire. "I'm not fat, you idiot! I'm pregnant!"

I brought my fist up to my mouth, eyes scanning the room for reactions. Julio was frozen, no sign that what she said had registered. My aunt's lips were slightly parted as she let out a small cry that was a mixture of joy and hesitance. My uncle was much like Julio, frozen, until he scratched his chin filled with graying stubble.

"Oh, mija," he said, getting up to pull Nancy into a hug. He held her tightly, squeezing his eyes closed.

My aunt made up for his lack of words. She sat up from the couch with a wonder struck grin. "I had a feeling! I told you, I had a feeling!" she said, smacking her husband as he released Nancy. She took his place, pulling her into what seemed like a suffocating hug.

Julio detached himself from the scene, moving to the corner to prop himself against the wall. I couldn't read his expression.

My aunt and uncle glanced back at me expectantly. I waved my hand.

"She told me already."

"Adonis would be very happy," Tìa said, tucking her short hair behind her ears. "He liked kids."

"And your mother would be so happy to be a grandma. Sad she was old enough to be one but happy nonetheless," my uncle joked. He was trying to salvage the little specks of joy that could be found in the announcement.

Nancy gave a sad smile, looking down at her cashmere sweater. "I wish they were here."

A thoughtful silence settled over us. Then heavy footsteps thumped against the wooden floor followed by the crash of the door swinging shut. There was barely a second spared before a jolly voice evaded the solemn air.

"Hey, the door was open! Sorry, I'm late."

Darren appeared in the living room with a dazzling smile. His hair was brushed back away from his face, soft and voluminous like he had walked off a photoshoot. He was too aggressively jolly, too unsuspecting. I tried to make my eyes borrow into him, hoping he would take a hint to sober up. He didn't. He was clueless.

Nancy pressed her quivering lips together, her eyes filling with tears. She bawled her fists at her side and let out a sob. My aunt tried to reach out to her but Nancy took off towards the steps. The sound of her bedroom door slamming echoed along the walls of the house.

We all stood there in silence like deer caught in the headlights.

Immediately, I was thrown back to various memories of Nancy and I going about our lives the years following my mother's death. I was always the one bursting into tears. Nancy was the one apologizing in my wake.

Darren clenched his teeth and winced. "Is she alright?"

__________________

Darren squeezed my arms and pressed his forehead against mine with a giddy laugh.

"You're gonna be an auntie!"

I couldn't help but laugh along with him despite the looming heaviness in the room.

"And thanks for not giving me a hard time about being late. I got caught in traffic," he said. It was just us in the kitchen as Julio had retreated to his room and his parents to console Nancy.

I hadn't gotten a chance to mention Darren being late yet but I figured it wasn't that big of a deal anyways. Everyone knew now.

"That's alright," I said, picking around the fruit basket in the middle of the counter until I found a nice looking apple. "Things have been kind of hectic over here lately."

"What do you mean?"

"Julio's being really rebellious all of a sudden. He's been drinking and smoking." I took a bite of the apple, wondering if maybe we were all blowing this out of proportion. Maybe it was simply a phase he'd abandon after he had his fun. "You know how my aunt and uncle are about those things. He's skating on the edge of a cliff."

Darren winced. He was aware of the wrath my aunt could unleash if angered enough. She pulled Nancy out of a department store by the ear one time for shoplifting as a teen. She didn't ease her grip until they were at the bus stop.

"Maybe I could talk to him. Man to man."

"Man to man?"

Darren wiggled his eyebrows at me, not able to take himself seriously for too long. He leaned over the counter and gave a cartoonishly flirtatious smile. "You know, I'm good with people."

I laughed. "That you are."

Gesturing to the direction Julio had gone in, I egged him on. "Give it a shot."

Tucking his thumbs into his jean pockets, he sauntered away. "Be right back. Try not to miss me too much."

He added a wink as he disappeared behind the wall.

I finished my apple in silence that was broken when my aunt and uncle came back downstairs. They grabbed themselves some water from the fridge, pouring their glasses slowly.

"How is she?" I asked, finding the silence unbearable. Nancy had been upset but composed before Darren had arrived. I couldn't help but think it was his appearance that set her off. I remembered how she had cut the stems of the flowers he sent me. It seemed like she was jealous and considering the circumstances, it was hard for me to be mad at her for it.

My aunt placed down her cup after taking a long sip. "She's sad. She's going to have to raise the kid without her husband. It's unfortunate."

"She'll be staying with us for a while longer though. I'm relieved to hear that," Tìo added. "Nancy is very strong but you can't argue with how much money she will be saving by living with us for another nine months."

The two seem drained from the subject so I tried a different one. Perhaps it would be equally as draining but I wanted answers.

"So what was Julio talking about earlier? How did you decide to punish him?"

I was reassured this change of discussion was the right move. Automatically, my uncle straightened out his back and deepened his voice. He took pride in his job as a father. "We took away his privileges. He comes straight home after school; no job, no after school activities, no computer privileges except for school work and his phone is ours when he is at home."

My aunt nodded. "We figure he won't have enough time or liberty to drink or smoke."

I hated to rain on their parade but I felt it must be mentioned. "I hope so but where there is a will there's a way."

My uncle chuckled, waving his glass in the air as he spoke. "You were way easier as a teen. The most well behaved out of the three of you."

"Was I?" I knew it was true but I liked to hear him brag about me. It was a good change of pace from worrying about me.

"The only thing I had to deal with was a little attitude here and there. Nancy went through that shoplifting phase. Remember when she came back with that hundred dollar necklace?"

My aunt's jaw tightened at the memory. "I nearly hung her with it. She's always had an eye for the expensive. That's probably why Adonis . . ." she trailed off thinking better of it but it was too late. We all knew what she was going to say.

That's probably why Adonis felt the need to resort to what he did.

I knew she wasn't trying to place blame on Nancy but that was certainly how she would take it if she heard.

Darren appeared just outside the kitchen, beckoning me to him with a tilt of his head. I excused myself from the conversation which was easy considering it had killed itself with that comment.

The two of us went out to talk on the porch. We sat on the porch swing looking out onto the road that ran down my street. It was quiet.

"How'd it go?"

"Well enough," he said, leaning his elbow on the top of the seat. "My guess is that Julio's trying to cope with something."

It was kind of what I had been thinking before.

"Like the trauma from the wedding?"

"Maybe but you said he got drunk at the wedding and that was before everything happened," he pointed out.

I groaned, wondering if Darren got anything out of him or was just embellishing the obvious to make it seem like he did something magnificent. "And he didn't hint at what?"

"He is not budging. It might be something he feels embarrassed about or is scared to bring up. Just try to assure him he can trust you and maybe over time he'll get comfortable enough to tell you what's going on. I let him know he can talk to me too."

Scared.

I thought of the sudden shift in his eyes when I had confronted him in the backyard. He lashed out in anger like a cornered animal. Was that the expression I had been seeing on him as of late? When I sat with him as his parents searched his belongings, asking him to tell me what was wrong, was it angst that had made him storm off or was it fear? Maybe he had run off because he was scared I was going to see right through him. He was scared I would find something out.

Scared.

I was growing familiar with the feeling.

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