Do you remember the way I couldn't
Be at ease, to see you away from my
view?
Do you still have that memory of me
Panicking, cause I didn't hear you in a
day?

Yes, it's true- you away is another
Trigger to make insane, instilling that
fear
Yes, I feel like an addict who can't
Survive without a drug like you, my
sin

I've had almost everyone leaving me
For reasons I'd never do the same, but why?
I am struggling to fight my mind, yell
That you're not the mirage fooling again

I'm learning to believe, that our bond
Is intact, from the illusion of distance and time
I'm still holding onto my blunt scars
Of abandoning myself like everyone, guilty

I want you to know, I'm trying, I'm
Here to know there are reasons we are away
And that's okay because our faith will
Never shatter the love we share with us

Now I enjoy my company in peace,
Knowing we'll come back at our own time
I understand that us not talking ain't
Abandonment, so I stop clutching you too hard

I love myself unconditionally, like you
I make myself a priority, just as you would
Still if I worry too much, wondering
About you, please show up out of the blue

And I'll forget my worries into the blue....

A/n:

Yes, I've been dealing with extreme anxious attachment. I got to know I did this toxic pattern to holding onto the person so hard that I'd suffocate them. Until they run away from my hands like sand. Which make me realise, I should heal this anxiety and kill it. Now I'm trying to not pressure people to spend time. It's okay-
There are more reasons of not communicating other than that the person is indifferent and toxic

And you have to trust that the bond you share with your friend is strong enough to endure any length of time and distance. (: I'm still learning this since last year, though I'm quite better.

Your grateful author,
かな恵ー