"And I can go anywhere I want, anywhere I want, just not home, and you can aim for my heart, go for blood but you would still miss me in your bones."

Warning: A character within this chapter experiences an overdose. This includes some scenes that can be upsetting. Read with caution, as always. Also, small apology for how long this one is, I swear chapters will never be this long again. 

Third person - Maja - the night before.

The girl was in the midst of a sleepover with her friends. They were cuddled up in fluffy pink pajamas talking shit about anyone and everyone.

"Anyone see what Amelia posted?" Kassidy cackled with disgust. 

Maja would never admit it but she liked Amelia. There was a point in her life where she thought she liked her more than a friend. During the sports camp, they had even kissed out by the beach all alone. 

Amelia was Maja's gay arising.. and technically also her gay descending. Before that kiss she had thought she might be gay, but that kiss confirmed she very much was not. 

But Maja was still fond of Amelia, because she realized the desire was more to be friends with her than to be in a relationship with her.

"No, what was it?" Maja chimed in with furrowed brows, taking a handful of the popcorn they were all shamelessly tucking into.

"A photo of her with some girl. But she was kissing her cheek." Veronica, one of Maja's friends, said with a snicker.

"Oh." Maja laughed a little, not seeing much humour but being pressured by the other's laughter to laugh as well.

Unbeknownst to the others, Maja had her phone under her blanket and was subtly texting a certain Hawthorne boy. That was until she grinned a little too hard at a text and brought attention to the phone in her lap.

"Hey! We said phone free gossip." Kassidy scolded. "You know the rules." Ivory insisted. "Hand it over." Rachel added.

"I'm just finishing up. I'll put it down." Maja swore. Her fingers moved rapidly as she typed out texts to Jameson. Before she could finish, it was snatched out her hands, Kassidy then proceeded to read all the texts with the others huddled around as Maja grew increasingly more rosy cheeked.

Jameson: hey, u up?

Maja: yeah

Jameson: what u doing?

Maja: hanging out with some of the girls

Jameson: what grills?

Maja: Kassidy, Ivory, Veronica and Rachel

Jameson: Kassidy Robertson?

Maja: yeah

Jameson: oh

Maja: not a fan?

Jameson: i'm chosing not to speek on the matter

Maja: good decision 

Maja: she told me btw

Jameson: she did??

Maja: every excruciating detail

Jameson: i was drunk, it literaly meant nothing

Maja: i really don't care

Maja: you fuck who you want and i'll fuck who i want

Jameson: i only want to fuck u

Maja: i'm guess you're drunk rn?

Jameson: i'm always drunk

Jameson: but yk what they say

Jameson: drunk toughts r sober words

Maja: other way about jamie

Jameson: shit yeah

Maja: scale of 1-10 how drunk are you?

Jameson: 69

Maja: i'll take that as a 10

Jameson: so ur sleepovering? u sure you can't meet up??

Maja: i'd love to but i don't even have my provisional yet, and it's almost midnight so even if i did i couldn't drive

Jameson: yk i have my license?

Maja: good for you buddy

Jameson: i can cum get you

Maja: dear lord please turn auto correct on?

Jameson: Sorry it's on now

Maja: thanks champ

Maja: but no, you can't come pick me up because you're drunk

Jameson: You know how much I love breaking rules though

Maja: there is rule breaking and then there are death wishes

Jameson: Tomato Tomato

Maja: thats the same word twice babes

Jameson: Exactly

Jameson: It's the same thing

Jameson: I'm coming to get you

Maja: don't you dare

Jameson: I want to see you though

Maja: you won't be seeing me if you crash your car into a tree and die

Jameson: Nine lives

Maja: I'll call an uber when the others are asleep if it means that much to you

Jameson: Tell them bedtime stories, sing them lullabies, whatever you need to do to make them fall asleep

"Jameson Hawthorne?!" Kassidy shrieked with a wide grin.

"Shut up! Give it back!" Maja groaned impatiently, reaching for her phone for what must have been the hundredth time.

"He fingered me behind the bleachers you know?" Kassidy grinned proudly.

"Yeah and he was drunk out his fucking mind. You already told us." Maja growled, furious with her own best friend. Kassidy had been gloating about that that story ever since it happened.

"He what?!" Ivory squealed with excitement. 

Kassidy wore a proud grin as she broke down the play by play of what happened.

"We were at the soccer game afterparty, you know how they light a bonfire whenever they win? We were flirting.. and things got heated. He took me behind the bleachers and finger fucked me. Even when he was on the verge of throwing up or passing out from alcohol poisoning his movements were fucking blissful. He really knows what he's doing." Kassidy retold for what must have been the billionth time.

Maja grimaced and ran a hand through her wavy brown hair.

"You wanna know the best part?" The blonde whispered, reeling her friends in closer in anticipation. "I was stone cold sober so I remember everything." She grinned proudly.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?" Maja raised her voice. "What?" Kassidy frowned with confusion at her friend's tone.

"That's rape you asshole!" She yelled with anger, a certain protective nature taking over herself when it came to that boy.

"Oh.. no it doesn't count when it's a guy." Kassidy waved off unbothered. Maja stared blankly at her friend with a gaped jaw. "Is she for real?" She turned to her friends.

"Don't be such a prude. Your texts show he clearly doesn't consider it rape." Kassidy taunted the phone at her friend.

"Yeah maybe he didn't say that but the law does? He was blackout drunk, on the verge of throwing up and passing out. And you were sober?" Maja lectured with genuine disbelief.

"Okay, whatever. I'll send him a muffin basket to apologise. Whatever! It was like a year ago anyway." Kassidy dismissed. "You're insane." Maja scoffed.

"So are these texts. You didn't tell me you two were fuck buddies. I'm your best friend. You're supposed to tell me these things." Kassidy whined sadly.

"We're not.. fuck buddies.. we're just talking." Maja whispered embarrassedly. 

"Since when?" Kassidy demanded. "Christmas." Maja mumbled.

"Christmas!? Tell us everything!" The girls squealed with excitement.

"Christmas night, Noah my Grandma and I went to the Hawthorne's place for dinner because we were on our own-" 

"You had a Hawthorne Christmas?!" Kassidy screamed. "Yeah. And at night I was sleeping in Spencer's room and I snuck out and went into Jameson's. We kissed a little and just.. talked for a while." Maja shrugged with a bright blush on her cheeks.

"So much to unpack.. You kissed? Was he a good kisser?" Her best friend followed up. "The best." Maja confessed.

"So you and Hoe Hawthorne are having sleepovers now?! How'd that happen?" Kassidy asked with resentment.

"She's the only girl. And Xander didn't really want Noah and Spencer sleeping together. I was like a cockblock." Maja shrugged unbothered.

"They're sleeping together?" Kassidy gaped with genuine shock.

"Well it sure as hell looked like it when he had her pinned against the wall eating her out on Christmas." Maja shivered with disgust.

"Shut up!!" All the girls screamed, laughing hysterically.

"And get this! She sent him nudes and our Grandma saw them on his phone before he did. She was like complementing her and stuff." Maja giggled.

All the girls around her stared with dropped jaws.

"Slutty Spencer the Hoey Hawthorne may be the biggest whore in perhaps the world. But she has never once send nudes to anyone! Like ever!?" Kassidy says dramatically.

"Seriously, Kas. Drop the nickname. It's not necessary or even funny." Maja groaned with conflict.

"Are you not mad that that sluts completely ruining your brother's good little Christian boy vibes?" Veronica butted in.

"Oh fuck.. I swear he's so cute. I mean have you seen him on the soccer field? A couple weeks back he wiped his sweat with his shirt and I swear I saw a six pack. Like I know he's your brother but the nerdy-Christian-good boy-innocent-kind guy thing is really attractive. Like don't take this the wrong way, but I'd tap." Kassidy moaned, making Maja immensely disgusted and uncomfortable.

"That's my brother!" The twin groaned with actual vomit threatening to leave her mouth.

"If I get a shot with him, I'm breaking girl code and I am fucking that sweetheart. Oh... you just know he's packing." Kassidy groaned.

"Seriously Kas, stop it! That's my brother." Maja yelled.

That's when the door cracked open, a tired and sheepish boy stuck his head in with messy hair sticking up in all directions. Fresh out of his bedroom next door, having been woken up by the volume of the girls. Wearing shorts that were swept up his thighs just a little to reveal his muscled calves and thighs. Along with a few hickeys around his thighs trailing up that were yet to fade.

At least all his bruises were completely gone. Truth be told, he had lied to his girlfriend upon saying bruises took ages to leave him. Because it reality they took mere days. He was simply covering the fact that they kept coming from different hits.

His skin tight vest had rode up his chest, revealing a defined V-Line and toned abs.

"Sorry.. I heard yelling.. you guys okay?" Noah confirmed with concern lacing his tired and hoarse voice.

"Better now that you're here." Kassidy couldn't help but flirt as she scanned her eyes up and down the tall boys perfect figure.

"You want me to wait up until you guys are asleep? Just incase.. Dad comes back early from the trip?" Noah offered awkwardly, only maintaining eye contact with his twin. The other girls were too mesmerised by his good looks to listen carefully to the words spoken.

"It's fine." Maja responded with a small smile, at the same time all the girls replied the very opposite. 

"Yeah.. You should come try these gummy worms, I swear they're to die for." Kassidy spoke seductively.

The innocent boy ran a hand through his hair in attempts to tame it, stalking inside at the supposedly sweet and kind offer. He reached into the bag to take one with a grateful smile.

At the exact time, Kassidy strategically reached her hand in, looking up at him through her lashes.

"Sorry." She smiled and bit her lip a little. "All good." He replied, taking a bite, blissfully unaware.

"Mmh.. these are good." He pointed out, starting to walk back out.

"Noah you should talk with us for a little. Maja was just telling us about who she's hooking up with." Kassidy teased, making the boy double take and glare to his twin.

"Please do share." He raised a brow, ready to murder whatever name left her mouth. 

"Nobody. And if you tell him Kas, I'll tell him exactly what you just said." Maja warned firmly with a stern point of the finger.

"I guess you won't find out after all." Kassidy laughed flirtatiously, stepping up and placing a hand on his bare shoulder.

Noah was noticeably uncomfortable but he shook it off. "Hey you mind showing me to the bathroom- Not the one there. Maja just took a huge shit and it stinks. I don't know where the other bathrooms are." Kassidy smiled with a small tilt of the head.

"Yeah sure, just out here." The unknowing boy said helpfully. As he lead the girl out, she turned back to her friends making a groaning expression and pretending to slap the oblivious boys ass.

The two of them made it to the bathroom before Kassidy smiled sweetly towards the boy.

In only a moment, she pressed their lips firmly together with a hand on the back of his neck.

Immediately the boy groaned with surprise and pushed her back forcefully but making sure not to be aggressive. Noah wiped his lips trying to hide his mild disgust as he blinked at her in shock.

"Kassy I have a girlfriend." He told her uncomfortably.

Her face dropped with sadness and guilt. "Oh my gosh.. I'm so sorry- I'm so embarrassed. Who- Who is it?" The blonde asked, pretending to be genuinely shocked.

Noah scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, "Spencer Hawthorne." He grinned proudly, trying to suppress his blush and sheepish smile to save the girl her pride.

"No.. no! I'm so stupid- I just- I thought.. I'm so sorry." She managed to bring tears to her eyes.

"No, you're not stupid.. uh.. don't cry. You didn't know I had a girlfriend. No hard feelings." He settled, hoping his sister's best friend since the age of 5 wouldn't make things weird.

"Spencer.. she's gonna be so mad at me when she finds out! Oh no.. no.. no.. she's gonna hate me." Kassidy continued to bawl. 

"Kas, it's fine.. stop crying.. I can just forget the whole thing if you want?" He laughed lightheartedly. 

"Please Noah.. please don't tell Spencer.. she's one of my best friends and when she finds out she'd kill me." Kassidy sobbed into her hands. Noah wasn't aware of their friendship, but found himself feeling a warm pang in his chest at the idea that his girlfriend was making friends.

"I.. I don't think I'm gonna do that. She won't mind when I explain to her. I just don't think i'm okay keeping things from her." He explained calmly, reaching a hand out to sweep a tear off her cheek with his knuckle. Not a particularly intimate act, just a friend comforting another friend.

"Please. I'm so embarrassed.. if she finds out that I even thought for one second- I swear she'll kill me.. and if she doesn't she'll tell everyone and then I'm gonna be the girl who got rejected." She pleaded.

Fighting with himself, Noah reluctantly nodded and agreed. "Okay." He sighed, turning the bathroom light on for her and sulking back to his bedroom. Realizing he'd feel like an awful person either way, he just turned his bedroom light off and fell asleep almost immediately.

When Kassidy returned to the other girls, they flocked around her and squealed for a story. 

"We kissed. We're not telling Spencer, so just keep it a secret." Kassidy divulged proudly.

 "He kissed you?" Maja gaped, having really grown a liking for her twins girlfriend, her only thoughts were disappointment in her brother. 

"I dunno.. I think if it was just the two of us home, more would have happened. But I told him I had to get back to you guys." She informed with a serious smile.

"Hey, Maja.. You should go see Jameson now. We'll all head to bed soon and you can get your bone." Kassidy suggested.

After some inevitable teasing, arguing and texting with the infamous Hawthorne himself, Maja headed out in her uber. 

When she arrived to Hawthorne House, Jameson met her in his room. It was a good thing she remembered where it was because even if he tried to, Jameson was in no state to show her.

"Hey my Maj." Jameson laughed hysterically, wrapping an arm over her shoulder.

"Hi whiskey boy." She raised a brow.

"C'mon. I'm hot, drunk and horny as hell." He sang, dancing around with his bottle, minus a shirt.

"All things I know to be true, however, I hate to say it, but I am half-asleep, sober and very much on my period." She broke the news to him with a mock sympathetic frown.

"Fuck.. you know I'd make a cool vampire." He raised a brow suggestively.

Safe to say that night was a lot of Maja trying to hoax the drunk boy to bed and him trying to pin her down on said bed. It was all good fun though, because every time he pressed his warm lips against her forehead it was more like scrunched lipped pecks to tease her. She secretly loved it, but she'd never admit it.

When she finally settled the boy into bed he was full of stories about his day, slurring half his words but sounding happy enough, so Maja just sat by his bedside and nodded, stroking his hair as he slipped into a slummer.

Only when he was asleep with pillows propping him up onto his side to prevent the accidental choking on vomit, she left. And it wasn't without trouble either, Grayson Hawthorne had caught her on the way out.

"Hey.." She grinned suspiciously, leaning against Jameson's door with her arms moving around awkwardly.

"Thatcher." The pale haired boy nodded, unfazed but slightly taken aback.

"What you doing up?" She ventured, looking at her watch to check that it was in fact well past 2am.

"Well my dear brother sent me a lovely message, something about hurrying my sexy ass up to his bedroom for fun time. I'm assuming that was for you, but with my brother I sometimes can't tell." Grayson told her with an unwavering expression.

Maja abruptly snorted and then turned red. "You.. thought that was for you? And you got dressed in a suit to go up to see him?" Maja asked skeptically with concern.

"I assumed it was the wrong number, but I felt intrigued to see who the mystery 'sexy ass' was. And he was very clearly drunk so I had to make sure nothing was wrong. And as for the suit, I was already dressed upon receiving the text. Now, assuming all is well I can go and leave you two to your 'fun time'." He explained casually.

Maja laughed nervously. "We weren't gonna have fun time.. he's passed out drunk.. I was just being a good friend." She clarified.

"Friend?" The boy challenged, darting his gray eyes between the door and the girl. "We're friends." She clarified. "Does he know that?" Grayson raised a brow.

"Okay Mr Tuxedo-Smart-ass, your brother is sleeping his whiskey off in bed propped up by pillows and I'm on the way out. Do with that information what you will, but quit judging me." She said with a snarl.

"No judging." He surrendered. "Keep it that way pretty boy." She smiled sarcastically. 

"Very well, Sexy ass. As you were." He taunted judgingly, watching as she walked out the hallway. 

Snickering to himself he makes sure to stick his head in on his younger brother to confirm he is in fact fine. 

Meanwhile, Kassidy was sneaking her way inside Noah's bedroom with the other girls creeping behind her. Riffling through his drawers and checking his bedside table they found what they were looking for and ran out.

In fits of muffled laughter they slam the door to Maja's room shut and shook Noah's stolen phone in victory.

"Oh my god.. she's the lock screen." Veronica cackled. Kassidy began to type in possible number combos.

"Birthday." She clicked her tongue in victory. Upon gaining access to his entire phone they immediately went to one place. Camera roll.

Under the title 'S' was a locked folder with a password.

"What would it be?" Kassidy groaned in anger and frustration. "Her birthday?" Ivory suggested.

"What is it? Someone check snapchat.. or famous birthdays.. or even just google it?" Kassidy ordered.

"23rd of May 2003." Rachel read out with a ditsy voice.

"It worked!" Kassidy shrieked, almost dropping the phone with the mere excitement.

Scrolling through the photos there were photos of them together in recent months, photos of her that he had taken, and vice versa. There were photos of them as toddlers, kids and preteens from back in the day, and some he had clearly found on the internet or her instagram. Photos that had clearly been taken years ago that he had resurfaced upon the start of their relationship.

But the greatest revelation of all for the girls was a photo of the girl half naked. Her lacy thong was the only thing covering her skin from the view of the camera. It look professionally taken, with a backdrop and a high quality camera.

"Holy shit!" Ivory bit back.

"She's so pretty." Rachel smiled sweetly.

"She's fucking hideous!" Kassidy corrected in fits of laughter, wailing and zooming in.

"Look at her stomach.. and her boobs are so small.. she's such a slut." Kassidy scoffed in hysterics as she proceeds to search through the boys normal photos.

She also noticed an additional locked folder with a different password. Its titled 'just in case'. Kassidy relentlessly tried possibilities but it was no use. It seemed to be a completely random one altogether with no limit of numbers.

What Kassidy didn't know was that folder had the contents of over 5 years worth of beatings. Since the age of 11, the kids started to record evidence of their bruising and every single injury they obtained from their Father. Every cut, bruise, burn and even broken bone. There were also locations and addresses. 

Noah had known from a young age that death was a possibility at his Father's hands. So he began compiling evidence. It was heartbreaking that an 11 year old had been so prepared to die. The addresses were newer, Noah and Maja were renting out storage units out of state. That's where they kept the notes to everyone they loved. Along with every prized possession they had, including all of Noah's soccer trophies that he wouldn't be caught dead with at home.

When Kassidy found no luck in that folder she resorted to the standard camera roll, searching each photo. She needed to find some dirt on him. Something blackmail-able.  

Photos of Noah's penis were out of question considering he was insistent on making sure the photo was right for Spencer, deleting all failures off the face of the earth.

But Kassidy and the girls did manage to find shirtless photos, a photo of him naked from above in the shower but with his dick only just in view a little, his immaculate V-Line clearly prominent. 

Maja returned home the second Kassidy was about to sneak back into Noah's bedroom. "What's happening?" Maja glared between her and the door.

"Nothing." She denied. "Tell me." Maja insisted. "No." The blonde yelped. "Yes!" The brunette yelled.

"Shh.. he's sleeping." Kassidy gritted, dragging her friend back into her bedroom with the other three girls rushing behind, still reeling with exhilaration.

"Explain to me what you were all doing trying to get into my brother's bedroom whilst he was sleeping without his knowledge?" Maja urged.

"We got the photos of Hawthorne. We're sending them round a few people tomorrow." Kassidy explained with a proud grin as she waved her phone around.

Maja's heart dropped to the pits of her chest, she knew there was little to know chance of Kassidy deleting it but she was going to make damn sure she did.

"That's funny. Now tell me you're lying." Maja offered a false smile and then promptly dropped it. 

"Are you kidding? Why would we do that? Imagine the look on her face when she finds out." Veronica butted in.

"No! You've crossed a line. You don't have to like someone but you have to respect everyone like human beings because the world doesn't revolve around you." Maja lectured.

"Yeah, whatever Mom. That bitch had it coming. I doubt she'll even care, she'd probably reel in the attention." Kassidy rolled her eyes.

"It's not happening. And her brothers would actually kill you." Maja attempted. "Not if they don't find out." Ivory shrugged.

"Well if you do it they will find out because I'll be telling her." Maja declared.

"No you won't." Kassidy growled furiously. "Yes. I will." Maja fired back with a clenched jaw.

"No. You won't." Kassidy finalised. "Because if you do, Noah's pics that have his face in them will be sent around to the second you even think about telling anyone. You decide. It's one of them, or both of them. But either way, that bitch is going down." Kassidy yelled, her tone triggering a fight-or-flight in Maja, making her heart seise up and start pounding.

"You can't do this! It's a crime. And not to mention just morally wrong altogether." Maja shouted.

"I'll get over it." Kassidy shrugged unbothered.

"You're insane." Maja shook her head, not recognising her best friend any more.

"It's a joke. Get over yourself, or you'll be next. You're forgetting you sent me that tit pic you gave to your twink ex-boyfriend." Kassidy sneered.

"I showed you that in confidence." Maja yelped with cheeks flushed red with embarrassment. 

"Yeah, asking me if it was hot. And by the way I lied, your stomach rolls took up half the picture and your Quadruple A cups were severely lacking. Be lucky Tristan was too gay to function and he didn't give a fuck." Kassidy ranted, purposely hitting the girls insecurities where it hurt.

"You're such an asshole." Maja shook her head with disbelieve. "Yeah your asshole best friend with a huge leverage. So go to sleep and say nothing like a good girl." Kassidy smiled innocently, reaching out and pinching the brunettes cheek playfully. 

After Kassidy had shared the photos onto her own phone she slipped Noah's phone in a random drawer of Maja's room upon hearing the boy get up and go to the bathroom. There couldn't be any risks, if he saw them returning the phone he would know.

Kassidy then proceeded to buy a burner phone to share the photos with so it wouldn't be traced back to her. And once the photos had been sent around the burner was promptly dumped in the middle of nowhere.

And so Maja said nothing, in fear of her brother's photos along with her own being leaked as well. She even saw the unknowing Hawthorne girl the following morning and didn't say a thing with the guilt and fear of it all.

And when it came to down to telling her twin, she left out the part about her meeting up with Jameson that night. And blatantly ignored the fact she knew about Noah and Kassidy's kiss, being too disgusted with him to acknowledge it. Because — to her knowledge — her brother had kissed back. Kassidy had fed the girls the blatant lie that they made out and came close to doing more. So Maja thought her brother was a cheater, and Noah thought he was protecting a girls pride by keeping it secret.

Noah - present.

"How'd they know my password?" I challenge after hearing the story. 

"It's your birthday" Maja reminds me, sighing as she runs a hand through her hair.

"How do they know my birthday?" I continue with wide eyes.

"We have the same birthday.." She blinks flatly at me.

"Oh.. right.. but it's still weird!" I point at her.

"I feel like I'm missing something. Why couldn't you stop them taking my phone? Where'd you go for so long?" I challenge with confusion.

"I didn't go anywhere.. I was just.. sleeping." She spurts and I immediately tell she's lying. "Tell me." I insist.

"No. It's not important." She grits embarrassedly. "It'll be relevant when the cops ask." I say pointedly. "The cops?? Noah you can't tell the cops.. I know what they did is so awful and I'm not justifying it but they're still my friends.. if they get arrested I'll have nobody and everyone'll hate me for getting them arrested." My twin rambles.

"It's Spencer's choice what she does. It's her body. But if she does take it to court they'll need your alibi." I urge. "And my lips will stay sealed even if I get arrested." Maja snarls.

"Please tell me you're not dealing?" I sigh with worry. "No. Worse." She shivers with horror. I look at her expectantly. "I was.. with a Hawthorne." She gags at the mere thought.

"Which Hawthorne?" I raise a brow, my reaction dependant on which of the boys she says.

If it's Nash, I kill him because he's way too old. If it's Grayson I'd honestly approve, other than the 3 year age gap. If it's Jameson, lord help her, and him because I would honestly kill him if he tried anything — and knowing him he would. And if it was Xander, I'd be mad my best friend is with my sister and then I'd realize it would be pretty justified since I did the same to him.

"Jameson." She groans with embarrassment, running her hands through her hair.

"Oh.. I knew it." I sigh with agony. "You had to pick the alcoholic, daredevil, player? Not the nerdy, kind and safe one? Jameson Hawthorne?!" I grunt in disgust.

"Believe me I wish it had been none of them. But after I lost my virginity to him those years back-" She starts explaining.

"After you what?" I roar.

"Shit." She whispers.

"Yeah shit!" I yell.

"Come on, I didn't do this to Spencer when I found out you two were fucking." She throws her hands up.

"Maja! We're not.. fucking." I whisper like it's a crime to say it, mostly because of this house. With the fear our parents will sneak attack us early from their vacation.

"Oh please. You're forgetting I walked in on you knee deep in pussy." She grimaces.

"Shut the hell up! That's none of your business." I grit. "Exactly. Neither is Jamie and I." She shrugs.

"Fine. But if he tries anything with you.. or even looks at you funny I'll kill him." I insist.

"I'll be sure to let you know." She smiles sarcastically.

"We're getting off track. I'm mad at you.. furious actually." I sigh with resentment.

"I'm sorry okay. They went onto your private photos and found every photo you had of her. They sent all of them to their phones. I told them it was too far but they already had the photos." She justifies guiltily.

"Why didn't you just tell someone?" I demand. She's my sister. I trust what she's saying is true but it doesn't make me any less angry knowing she knew about this and did nothing.

"Because it was her or her and you and me. Our lives were saved and hers was ruined either way. I know it's bad but they told me they were just sending them to a couple kids in our class." Maja rambles.

"Wait you said photos. There was one photo." I suddenly panic.

"Kassidy has others. She might still post ours.. I dunno. I'm fucking terrified. I sent her a photo of me last year asking if it was okay to send to Tristan and she must've kept it." Maja explains.

My mind begins scrambling through all the possible photos she could have found of me, and of Spencer for that matter.

I don't hesitate to walk out of her room, knowing she's following me and heading to my car outside. She gets in, knowing exactly where i'm going.

I drive straight to Kassidy's house after getting brief one word directions from my twin.

I get out the car and head for the front door.

I slam my fist aggressively on the wooden door. I don't stop until the sheepish blonde peeps her head out the door opened just a little.

"Hey Noah." She smiles sweetly. I kick the door fully open and let myself in. That shit-eating grin makes me think of her lips pressed on mine last night. Did she like me? Was that why she did this?

"Delete them." I say firmly. "What the fuck?" She yelps in confusion. "Delete the fucking photos Kassy!" I yell.

"Spencer's not 18 until May which means she's still a minor. Possession and distribution of child pornography can get you three years jail time. Maybe if you hand it over now we'll be nice in court and wrangle you only community service." I explain calmly.

Her eyes widen at the moment she hears the kind of consequences her actions could have. She passes her phone over nervously after putting her passcode in. 1234, for the record. A weird choice for someone literally possessing images that could get her jail time.

I scroll through the recent photos she took from my phone. At least 20.

One of Spencer holding her fully clothed boobs and smiling at the camera drunkly. One of her sitting beside me in class holding my hand under the desk. One of her on Christmas looking gorgeous as ever. One of her taken in the Hawthorne kitchens on Christmas night. One of us together taking a selfie. One of her sitting on my shoulders at a party. A video of us making out that went viral, except it's a different angle where you can see clearly that it's me. A photo of us post-drunk-kiss at said party, her lipstick smeared over my cheeks as we both look down at the camera in a blurred high. One of her sitting on my lap at a party. One of us in a photo booth kissing, posing and laughing. One of us as toddlers, her wearing hello kitty sunglasses and me with Spiderman glasses, both flipping off the camera as if we aren't literally 8 years old — safe to say I got a fair few hits from my Dad for that, and I can confirm I've never done it again. Then more disturbingly, a selfie of my twins boobs, I grimace with disgust and immediately scroll.

Then a more daunting one. I scroll and find a photo with me in it. It's me shirtless with everything in it, my dick half off frame. I took this for Spencer and never sent it because I got insecure about the bruises on my chest. I didn't realize I even kept it.

"You were about to post this?" I demand. Kassidy nods fearfully.

"Well that's my dick. I'm still 16. So that's two counts of child pornography." I smile at her cunningly despite how scared I am.

I keep scrolling and seeing all the photos of Spencer that could have been posted. Some of them with me too. Once i've seen all I need and want to see I take her phone and start walking out.

"You're disgusting. I'm taking this. And I don't want you near my sister again." I tell her. She starts following me outside but I ignore her pleading yells.

I get in the car and join my sister. Starting the car and driving away full speed until I reach Hawthorne House, I'm shaking with adrenaline. 

The guards at the gate deny me and tell me I'm on some sort of list for banned persons. I beg them to let me in or at least let me talk to someone. I do the only thing I can think and call Xander as I pace outside.

"Yeah?" My best friend asks from the other side of the phone. His voice is dismissive and unwilling to talk, something i've never heard from him before.

"I'm at the gates, Xander. I know who did it. You have to let me in." I beg.

He goes silent, my sister speaks up. "It's true Xander." Maja says.

We hear a sigh before the line going flat. All of a sudden the gates open.

I drive through towards the front door and I rush out and burst through the doors despite it being almost midnight by now.

I rush past Oren the security guard and run up the staircase towards Spencer's room. The Hawthorne brothers are already waiting for me in the foyer but I run straight past them. Maja and the brothers follow me up the staircase and down the corridors.

"Who did it then? If it wasn't you who did it?" Jameson demands with rage, grabbing me by the shirt collar and stopping me in my tracks. He wants to kill me the same way I wanted to kill Kassidy when I found out.

"It was me." Maja speaks up sheepishly, her voice barely there. All the boys face her with shock. 

I watch Jameson's entire heart actively plummet, devastation and betrayal present as he steps forward and places a hand on her cheek, uncaring of his brothers or me seeing.

"Not directly. My friends found photos on his phone when I was here last night and sent them to themselves. They told me if I told anyone they would also post one of Noah.. and one of me." Maja rambles in confession, knowing how bad her actions were but taking full responsibility.

"Maj.." Jameson's voice cracks, seriously conflicted with the girl he likes and his sister.

Without Jameson holding me back anymore I begin climbing the stairs once again, all the boys chasing after me, Jameson hesitating before brushing past my twin and following.

"Don't think I've forgiven you for having photos of my sister naked." Xander warns. "She's my girlfriend." I shrug in justification.

"Yeah I wouldn't count on that." Grayson jokes humourlessly, suggesting Spencer won't hear any of my bullshit and she may not be my girlfriend anymore.

"You two better not be having sex! I swear I'll kill you if you lay one hand on her." Nash grits furiously.

"I hate to break it to you, but all signs point towards his hands being all over her." Jameson jokes, "What with the tit pics, making out, head between the legs on Christmas?" He lists and I glare at him silently.

"Head between the legs!? Excuse me?!" He booms.

"Shhh.. We're almost there." I dismiss, running just a little faster so I can reach Spencer's room faster and bring the focus back off our sex lives.

I get to Spencer's door finally and knock gently. She may already be asleep. Her brothers and my sister rally behind me, my twin stepping out of the way of Jameson, neither of them sure what to do in this moment. 

There's no answer. I can see through the crack at the bottom of the door that the light is on. I start knocking harder. The panic in my chest grows louder.

"Spencer? I'm coming in." I inform her loudly.

I kick the door hard enough for it to burst open.

We all spill inside but are met with nothing.

The bathroom door is locked. I make sure no shower is running and rush to shimmy the lock with a credit card.

It pops open and when I take in the settings I feel nauseous.

Spencer is huddled over the toilet, her fingers down her throat retching. Pills scrawled out over the counter. Duct tape. Scales. Measuring tape.

She's sweating and crying.

"Spencer." My voice barely comes out. At only the slightest alert of presence, she jumps to her feet, wipes her mouth and attempts to push the door shut and lock us out.

Tears fill up in my eyes, I try to disguise it for her though and step forward.

"What did you take?" I ask her, mustering as much courage as I can to sound calm, to sound as if I'm not worried or concerned.

"Nothing. I thought I told you to leave." She sneers, hoping if she can upset me i'll leave and forget about what I've seen.

"I did. I found out who did it. I promise everything is gonna be okay." I nod to assure her, taking another small step toward her.

"Who was it then?" Spencer asks sceptically.

"Kassidy Robertson. We're gonna fix it okay. The photo's been removed from all social medias now, so it's pretty much gone." I tell her slowly.

After glancing to her brothers for confirmation, she looks back to me, her eyes looking down at the news, I know she feels bad about blaming me but I don't care right now. 

"So what were you taking?" I ask conversationally. I reach towards the towel on the rack, my hands shaking as I take it and very slowly wipe some puke from her chin. I don't want her to freak out if I do, because then she'd be terrified. So if I stay calm she'll be calm too and we can fix this without escalating it.

"Weight loss pills. Skye gave me them when I was younger." She whispers guiltily.

"It's okay." I nod, more to myself than her.

"You feel okay? You want to sit down?" I offer her. I pull the toilet lid down and help her sit down, kneeling below her and taking her warm sweaty hand into my trembling one.

"I'm sorry." She bursts into sobs. "Why are you apologising? It's okay. You're gonna be okay." I coo assuringly.

I look towards her brothers, all four of them frozen on the spot, as pale as ghosts. They're all terrified.

She starts to turn her head toward them too but I quickly grab her head and bring it back to me. "Just look at me. It doesn't matter." I speak softly, she nods slowly. I know if she saw her brothers she would feel even worse and I don't want that for either of them.

"Call 911." I tell my sister very calmly.

Spencer looks at me with horror. "Don't worry. You're just gonna spend the night. I'll come with you and stay the whole time. I promise." I tell her.

She blinks slowly at me, nodding and taking in what I'm saying. But something tells me she's not really here. She is but part of her isn't. My favourite part of her. The her part.

"You hot? Wanna get a fan?" I offer her, she nods in agreement.

"Fan?" I look to her brothers.

My request seems to make them all spring into action, out of their dazed fear.

"Out here." Jameson informs me.

"You feel dizzy?" I ask her. "Mhm." She mumbles, not fully focused.

"I'm gonna carry you. That okay?" I request, already starting to lift her when she barely gives me an agreeing mumble.

I carry her bridal style and my stomach spins in sadness when I feel the tape under her jeans, suffocating her perfect thighs.

Nevertheless, I try to ignore it, carrying her to her bed and laying her down.

"I'm gonna take your jeans off." I inform her when shes laying down.

Her eyes widen with fear, finally showing a reaction for the first time tonight.

"I know. I get it baby, I just need to take it off or it'll hurt more when paramedics do it." I whisper, making sure only she can hear.

"Get me baby oil, a warm cloth, ice and a fan." I tell the boys who all start running to find the stuff.

When they're gone and my sister is calling the ambulance in the hallway as I pry her jeans off.

I've taken duct tape off skin before. One time my Father taped Maja's mouth shut because they were arguing and he wanted to shut her up. It ripped off all her hair and made her cry, so I googled how to make it not hurt in case it happened again. That was when she was 12.

"It's not what it looks like." She justifies. "It's okay if it is what it looks like." I promise her. "I'm not mad. I just want you to be okay." I clarify.

"Do you mind if I start trying to take it off? It's gonna hurt." I tell her honestly.

"Do it slow." Spencer begs in a whimper.

I start teasing the edges of the tape, it's fine at first, unwrapping the layers, but then I get to the parts actually touching her skin. I douse her skin with baby oil, or as much of her skin as I can reach.

I pull it as slowly as I can but she's still biting down on her lip and crying out softly. The skin is red and inflamed under the tape, her skin completely waxed of hair after its all been painfully ripped off.

She's now sobbing, even more than before. "There. It's all done. How do you feel?" I say, coming back to her side and taking both her hands in one of mine and brushing the baby hairs from her forehead with my other hand.

On my instruction, Nash wipes the sticky duct tape residue from her legs with a warm cloth and Grayson works hard to ice the cleaned areas to stop inflammation.

"I'm really tired." She murmurs, her eyes closing and her mind running marathons.

"I know baby, but what you gotta do right now is stay awake, okay? Why don't you tell me about your favourite movie?" I offer.

Her frail arms beckon me into bed beside her. I sit by her side and let her head collapse onto my chest. I caress her arms comfortingly, her eyes are shut but she's talking. She is talking complete nonsense about some movie I know doesn't exist but at least she's awake.

I continue asking follow up questions to keep her talking. My eyes meet her brothers who all look as terrified as each other.

"Go wait outside for the ambulance." I tell my sister in a whisper, the girl on my stomach still muttering nonsense.

"Someone get her shorts." I order her brothers, Jameson taking a step inside her closet and retrieves a pair of electric blue shorts. Attempting to cradle the girl in my arms whilst simultaneously dressing her proves difficult, thankfully Nash steps in and does it.

"Thanks Nashinator." The half conscious girl slurs. "No problem kid, I used to help you get dressed before you'd even remember." He tries to stay bubbly, squeezing the girls calf with a small smile despite his clear sadness.

"Where's Avery?" Spencer sings, her dainty hands reaching up and touching my glasses, giggling like nothing's wrong. A mix of adrenaline and early stages of an overdose making her act high.

"I dunno. Should we call her?" I suggest, hoping to boost her mood with positivity.

"Yeah.. tell her to bring me some booze." My girlfriend groans with longing.

"I'll see what I can do." I offer, looking up to her brothers when they all stare at me with anger, shaking my head to confirm I will not on fact be boozing up their barely conscious sister.

"Where's your phone?" I hum, brushing her hair back off her features. "Up my ass. Wanna go fishing for it?" She suggests proudly. "Maybe later baby." I scoff.

Upon Xander finding her phone in the bathroom, he hands it to me. I use my thumb to unlock her phone and am immediately met with the comments of a reposted photo of her.

"You were reading the comments?" I frown sadly. "Number one thing we taught you to never do." Grayson sighs.

"Gray?" She mumbles. "Yeah, Spence?" He pipes up, stepping forward to be closer to her. Spencer takes his hand in hers, and even behind that tough exterior I see a fond smile lace over his features. The frail girls barely focused eyes find him and scan him up and down. 

"Meredith?" She then speaks up. All our expressions are puzzled, ready to explain she doesn't know anyone called Meredith before she pipes up again.

"Meredith.. Gray. Meredith Gray." She clarifies with a proud grin.

Xander can't help but snort. "Heiress is waiting with Maja outside." Jameson pipes up.

"I like that girl. I think she's my friend.. I don't have many.. or any really." Spencer trails off, her words melancholy but her tone joyful and bubbly.

"You've got a bunch of friends." I defend. "Nu uh." She shakes her head. "Uh hu." I retaliate.

"You've got Avery.. and me.. and Maja.. and Xander.. and Jameson.. and Grayson.. and Nash.. and Libby.. and maybe even Tristan these days." I list slowly, stroking her cheek with affection.

"Doesn't count if I got them through my family." She hums begrudgingly. "You got most of them on your own." I encourage.

"Xander got me you.. you got me Maja. Hell, even the old man got me Ave.. and Tristan doesn't like me.. we just fucked each other back in the day and 'dated'. And I don't think I've even spoken to Libby." She rambles with tears dripping down her cheeks.

"Doesn't matter how you met them. They're your friends now." I say positively, gently swiping my thumb under her eyes.

"I don't like this No.." she sobs, head in her hands. I attempt to hold her but he sobs shake through my entire body and I want more than anything to let go and throw myself off the balcony before seeing her this hurt.

"What Spence?" I ask like she's being silly, making her think theres nothing to be upset about.

"Everything.. me." She cries out, her voice cracking and my tears stained cheeks being soaked again with devastated sobs. From her spot on my lap she starts to sit up, saddling my waist and resting her face in my neck to cry into.

I do my best at composing myself but I end up just openly bawling with her.

"Don't say that." I beg. 

Her brothers are watching with shattered expressions, witnessing their worst fear play out in front of them.

Holding her tight for not just her comfort but my own I feel myself completely break down with my hands on her back.

"Everything.. about me.. is.. awful.." She says between sobs.

"Stop it!" I plead, genuinely unable to take this.

"I can't.. I can't make it stop.. it doesn't go away." Spencer wails. "What doesn't?" I whisper with a wet voice. "The voice in my head telling me I'm ugly." She cries out. 

I know telling her she's pretty won't help right now, but my god she is. If she could see herself the way I see her she'd realize how beyond perfect she is. 

"I don't know how to fix you." I bawl. Everything around me is collapsing, and I can't do a thing to fix it. I can't fix her.

"You can't. Nothing can make it go away.. not even you." She whimpers remorsefully.

My heart is broken. And not in a metaphorical way, I genuinely think there has been a breakage.

"I'm gonna try.. I need to try." I tell her.

"What do you need from me right now?" I ask her, hoping to solve everything. "Just.. I just need quiet. And you. Don't let me go." She begs.

"I'm never letting go." I swear, squeezing her small body so hard I'm scared I'll crush her.

And for the last 5 minutes of silence, some of her brothers cry, and the others look close to it.

When the ambulance arrives it's the exact opposite of what she wanted. She's pried out my lap, everything's loud and I numbly will my feet to follow.

"One person." Is all the paramedic says, Spencer lays in the ambulance half asleep as the drugs finally get to her.

Eyes turn to me but I numbly shake my head, unable to bear with being alone with her right now. And so I let go. But she won't ever know because she's asleep. 

Nash hurries into the ambulance and soon enough it's driving off at a fast speed. 

Xander comes to my side, slowly bringing the others around me.

"I knew she wasn't okay.. and I didn't do a thing." I say with regret.

"We all knew.. to an extent." Jameson pipes up, placing a comforting hand on my back.

"But I was positive she had an eating disorder.. I did research.. I tried to think of solutions and right before I did anything to even remotely help her I pussied out." I grit, clenching my fists.

"Look Noah, you're having a hard time. You can't blame yourself." Xander chimes in.

"We should go be with her." I sigh, fixing my posture and composing myself.

"Nash has got it. Why don't we just stay here a little longer? I think you need a little longer before you see her again." Jameson suggests kindly.

"No.. I need to see her." I shake my head slowly. "You're good. She won't notice. Just sit down on the steps and have a minute to breathe. Xan?" Jameson nods my friend towards the steps with me, telling us both to sit down as he urges the others away from us.

"Tell me about it." Xander encourages, knowing I get my emotions out best by talking.

"I'm scared." I confess, arms wrapped around my own body to protect myself from not just the cold but also to hug myself just a little.

"About?" Xander nods for me to go on.

"Spencer. She's struggling-" I start.

"Noah it's not selfish to be worried about things other than her right now. Being scared about Spence is inevitable. We all understand. What I want to hear is what else has got you this worked up." My friend encourages.

"It's not about me." I insist firmly.

"Noah everyone's going through different things at different times. Just because Spencer's hurt physically doesn't mean you can't be hurt mentally. Just talk to me." He leans his forearms onto his legs as we sit side by side on the stairs leading up to the porch of Hawthorne House.

"I'm scared.. that when he gets back he'll have seen it.. and kill me." I confess with a shaky voice.

"I thought it would be something along those lines." He nods in understanding.

"It's everywhere. And he has people literally filtering through the internet just to find photos of her. He knows. And he thinks we broke up.. but what if he finds out. And what if after he sees the photos he remembers that I was the one that got sent them." I stress, my eyes bloodshot and heavy with the great quantity of tears produced within the past mere half hour.

"I'll spend the night for his first few days back.. he won't catch you alone until after he's already forgot about the photo." My friend informs me helpfully.

"Just drive with us ti the hospital, take your mind off everything and we can deal with all that when we get back. But right now my sister needs you.. and I need you." He confesses.

I wrap an arm around his shoulder, understanding whatever I'm feeling right now is multiplied by ten for him, seeing his older sister who's always been his role model completely crash.

With Jameson behind the wheel, he drives some of us, the others going with Oren.

Xander and I are in the back of Jameson's sports car that I'm convinced must've cost double what mine did, which is insane considering my Father paid extortionate prices to get me my car — not that it meant a thing to his substantial bank balance. Maja is in the passenger seat, Jameson keeping his stern eyes glued on the dark roads.

"Are they together?" Xander whispers to me.

"We can hear you." Jameson interrupts from the front. 

"That's because you're both deadly silent." Xander snarks back, not realizing the conflict it caused both, making them share a look.

"Jamie.. I'm so sorry.. I was terrified- I didn't know what to do." She erupts with pleads, refusing to look away from him. He doesn't spare her a glance until she's done.

"I'm not mad at you.. I just- I wish you told me." He sighs, jaw clenched as he raises his voice, very clearly mad in contrast to his words.

"Jamie I couldn't.." Maja frowns with devastation. 

"That photo.. she tore me down and told me everything I'm insecure about was in that photo. If it got out- If anyone saw.." Tears drip down my sister's face.

From the drivers seat, Jameson is glancing back every few seconds to show he's listening. The second he catches sight of the tears he places a hand on her cheek and brushes off the tear, leaving his hand their as he multitasks between driving with one hand, looking at the road, and comforting her.

"Don't cry Maj.. I get it.. I really do- I just need you to understand that's my baby sister. And I know it's not fair I'm deflecting my anger onto you, but right now I just.. I can't help but blame you.. And I know it's not your fault. But.." He settles calmly, being mature and genuine.

"But you need someone to blame." She finishes with a nod. "I know what you mean. I'm sorry I was involved. I don't mind you being mad at me." She replies.

"No.. It's not fair that I'm putting this on you. You're just a kid." He shakes his head, rubbing her cheekbone affectionately.

"Jamie.. It's fine. I could have done something and you wish I did. It's a valid feeling. She's your sister. I'm just your.." she trails off. "Girlfriend." He finishes firmly.

"And not 'just', don't limit yourself." He interferes. My sister grins a little. 

"I just need time. I need to think.. But I don't blame you.. I mean I do, but I shouldn't because I know it isn't your fault." He resolves. I'm impressed by how mature they both are. Especially Jameson, because truth be told he's the most unpredictable guy around.

His hand leaves her cheek to let her watch the road as they go back to nothing but the quiet hum of the radio. His hand reaches out to her thigh to assure her he's there.

"No." I decline the second he touches her.

"She's my girlfriend?" Jameson shrugs mocking my past words about Spencer as his hand remains on my sister's thigh, his eyes meeting mine teasingly through the rear view mirror.