"And you wanna scream: don't call me "kid" don't call me "baby". Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me. You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else

I'm woken up the following morning by a somehow perfect trumpet being played, echoing through a megaphone outside our cabin. 

Maja groans and halls the door open just in time for us to hear the announcement.

"Good morning Heights Country Day. It is Mr Jenkins. Breakfast will begin at 7am sharp. At 8am we will all escort Spencer Hawthorne to the tracks where she'll meet the other 6 opponents from the other schools we're up against. You're all permitted to watch and support our girl." 

I cringe at the name drop and muffle my face with my own pillow.

"You are our first to compete Spencer. Let's start this thing with a win." He says enthusiastically.

"In other news, if someone has lost a pale pink prada purse please report to the office to collect it. That's all see you all soon." He says cheerfully.

The door closes again and the sound of it alone echoes around my brain in a painful banging sound.

"Hungover?" Avery asks, switching the light on. I let out a yelp and clutch my head. "An entire bottle of vodka does that to a girl." Thea scolds. I send her the finger and push myself to a sitting position.

I get to my feet and cry out in pain at the crippling jolt of excruciation starting in my asshole. That son of a fuck has ripped my ass.

"Shit Spencer. You need a tampon." Avery grimaces sympathetically staring at my red sheets. No that's not my period that's my anal lining ripped because of the dick shoved in it when I was blackout drunk.

"I'll take a pad." I groan, clutching onto my stomach and holding onto the bed frame to stay standing.

I limp all the way to my bathroom.

"Hey Hawthorne. Do correct me if I'm wrong but aren't you supposed to get your period at the front?" Kassidy taunts, gesturing to the blood on my pajama shorts at the back but not front.

"Fuck off." I groan as I clutch everything around me to support me on my difficult journey to the bathroom.

"No seriously, I don't think that's your period." She says with a less teasing tone now.

"Fucking hell, kill me." I growl, struggling to put weight on my legs.

"Spencer?" Avery speaks up with worry.

"My fucking asshole!" I squeal in pain. 

"Your... asshole?" Thea hesitates. "Yes my asshole." I whine. "You hurt it?" Maja raises a brow and smirks. "I didn't fucking hurt it." I whimper, my eyes squeezing shut.

"Who hurt your ass?" Thea laughs. "My boyfriend." I growl.

This makes everyone stop getting dressed. "You did anal?" Kassidy gapes at me. "Your boyfriend's on this trip?" Avery asks. "It's your asshole thats bleeding?" Amelia says with shock.

"Yes. Yes. Yes." I hum in pain.

"When'd you manage to do that?" Avery laughs gently.

"Last night. 11pm." I answer truthfully. "Spencer.. last night you were drunk out your mind." Maja interjects slowly. "Yeah that's how he convinced me to." I laugh.

"Anyone could tell you were blackout drunk last night. Surely he realized?" Thea says angrily, as if it's me that did it.

"I told him. He asked me to meet him out by the lake and when I got there I apologised cause I was drunk and it meant we couldn't hookup. But it's okay cause he said he didn't mind." I shrug uncaring as I push back up to my feet and continue my painful journey to the bathroom.

"Spencer that's not how it works.. Are you okay?" Avery asks genuinely.

"I dunno Grambs, does my ripped asshole look okay to you?" I quip sarcastically.

"That's rape Spencer." Maja says with rage, being the only one who knows it's Ant who did this with me.

"It's hardly rape. I said okay and let him do it." I argue viciously. "You weren't in a sound state of mind to consent. Morally, and legally it's rape." Amelia lists, I'm pretty sure I remember her saying something in kindergarten about being a lawyer, i guess she's stuck by that.

"Guys relax. We're teenagers in love. I'm fine." I settle.

"Teenagers? Both of you?" Maja challenges.

"Keep you big mouth fucking shut you bitch!" I snap, ready to slap her.

"Fine. But when you realize he's fucked you over don't come crying to me." She yells.

"He loves me!" I scream, tears pricking my eyes.

"Spencer." Avery whispers, now beside me and holding me by the waist to help me get to the bathroom. 

I get inside and lock the door. I shower off all the blood and put a pad on my underwear incase it decides to start bleeding during the competition today.

I walk back into the room in only my black underwear, seeing all four boys.

Noah slaps his hand over his eyes, Xander and Jameson groan in disgust telling me to put some clothes on, Tristan doesn't even bat an eye, being completely uninterested by not just me but all females in general.

"Tristan cover your eyes you disrespectful asshole!" Noah scolds. "Right." Tristan snickers, remembering nobody except Maja and I know he's gay and covering his eyes before they think he's a pervert.

"Nothing he hasn't seen before." I shrug.

"Excuse me?" Jameson says sternly. "Relax, we dated remember like a year and a half ago."

"You were having sex last year at 16?" Amelia gapes in disbelief. "Honey, I was having sex at 14." I shrug carelessly. 

"My Mom walked in on my first time." I shrug.

"What!" Avery squeals. "Yeah. She heard the bed shaking and decided to investigate." I grimace. "Didn't even yell or tell me to stop or have a talk with me or anything. She just told me that my techniques were off and offered to show me how it was done. Then when I screamed at her to leave she took a pillow and started grinding on it to show me how to do it." I cringe at the memory.

"Gross! What the fuck!" Xander groans, covering his ears like a baby.

"That's Skye for you. Bought me my first pack of condoms when I was 11." Jameson sighs.

"You've been having sex at 11?!" Avery yelps with fear. A fear that tells me so fucking much. She's a virgin, she likes my brother and she's intimidated by his history as a man whore. 

"I'm way too sober for that conversation baby." He laughs. She stares at him in horror. "But no." He settles in short.

I start to leave the doorframe of the bathroom and limp slower than any snail could slither and try to hide the pain on my face with each step, clinging onto random things I pass.

"Spence, you okay?" Jameson's playful smirk drops to worry as he rushes to my side and helps practically carry me back to my bed. "Holy shit!" Xander screams when he sees my bloody sheets piled up on the floor.

"I'm fine." I answer when I'm sitting, rolling over to lay across the bed on my stomach instead of hurting my ass anymore.

Apparently whilst I was showering, Avery's changed my sheets and piled them in the laundry basket.

"What's wrong?" Jameson demands.

"Nothing." I huff embarrassed. 

"No, you can open your eyes." I change the topic. Only realizing once it was out that I called Noah a new nickname. He does what I say and purposely doesn't look at my ass which is face up.

"Something is wrong Spence. Are you okay?" Jameson sits down beside me.

"Jamie, I don't think she wants to tell you." Avery tells him calmly.

"You know. How does she know and I don't? I'm your brother. I swear I can handle it." He complains like a toddler.

"Very well. My boyfriend invited me out last night to the lake, told me to lean over a dirty rock and then he fucked me up the ass, not using lube and ripping my ass. Can you handle that?" I smile brightly.

The reactions across the room are varied. 

Tristan is glaring at me with disgust, Noah is staring right at me with his jaw literally dropped and his eyebrows flying. Xander is back to covering his ears and squealing 'gross' over and over again. Jameson is blinking. 

He's trying to decide what to say.

"Were you at least safe?" He tries with fear.

"No, we were raw dogging." I smile proudly, not proud to have done it but proud to be disturbing my nosey brother even more.

"Xander? Help me out?" He tries, but my younger brother is still muffling all noise.

"Tristan?" He pleads. "Congrats?" Tristan shrugs with a small smirk. "No!" Jameson cuts him off.

"Noah?" He begs. "You were drunk last night Spence." Noah says the first thing on the top of his mind.

Jameson stares down at me with fury. "He take advantage of you?" My brother demands.

"No. He didn't realize I was drunk. Apologised the second he found out." I lie.

"I thought you said he told you he didn't mind you were drunk?" Kassidy raises a brow, purposely snitching on me.

"He told you what?" Jameson yells. "Quit overreacting. I wanted it. I don't regret it. He made sure I was okay after." I lie. "Then where is he now?" Jameson challenges. 

"Can you shut up! It's none of your business who I hook up with. I have a race to get ready for." I murmur, slipping off my bed and pulling my bag out.

I dump all the contents onto my clean sheets and sit down, beginning to scan through it all.

"Spence when are you ever gonna need all that?" Jameson asks with concern.

I take a cigarette out and light it with the lighter, taking a drag. 

"Is that.. weed?" Xander asks appalled. "No it's some natural herbs. Pre-rolled." I say dryly. 

"Why are you doing drugs right before your race?" Tristan sighs.

"Because I want to win. And preferably make it a lap without collapsing in the pain of my ripped ass." I fire back.

I take a swig of the second bottle of vodka, only for it to be snatched from my hands by Jameson. "The cure is the poison or whatever." I argue, taking it back for a few more sips before packing everything up.

I continue taking drags of the cigarette and get dressed into the skin tight vest and underwear uniform I was given. It's what the professionals wear.

I scrape my hair back into a slick back middle part pony tail.

"When we get home you're grounded." Jameson points his finger at me. "If I make it home that is." I wink, opening the door and heading out.

I step on my finished cigarette and head to breakfast with the others following me.

"Spencer! Fuel up and head out to the track early." Our principal tells me.

I inhale the toast Jameson gives me, refusing to sit down and pacing instead. Though the cigarette and boost of vodka has made the pain numb and I feel ready now. 

I inform the others i'm heading out now, to which Noah gets up, uncaring of the others stares, and hugs me.

I expect a pep talk about how I have to win this for my school but instead he surprises me.

"It doesn't matter." Is all he says instead. "Hmm?" I almost ask.

"You win, I like you. You lose, I like you. It's not as deep as that big mind of yours likes to make it." He teases with a smirk.

"Big mind?" I repeat with confusion. "I can tell your heads much more crowded than you let on." He frowns. He got that right. 

"Can we go back to that first thing? You like me?" I raise a brow.

"Maybe your mind isn't so big." He ruffles my hair, walking back to the table. "What does that mean?" I yelp. He just winks subtly and leaves me with full body chills.

I make it out to the field, stretching and pretending to listen to Ant droning on about how I need to use stamina. 

"How you feeling?" He asks now, brushing some hair off my head and caressing my cheek. "Not great. I was bleeding last night. It still hurts, I had to smoke some weed to take the pain away." I answer honestly.

"Shit Spencer, baby they're doing drug tests." He says with worry. "What the fuck? Why?" I yelp in horror.

 "Because kids these days are doping, they've made blood tests mandatory before all the games." Ant informs me. "This is a children's running contest." I remind him with disbelief.

"It's a little more than that though. It's official Texas Youth League. If you win this you'll be awarded Texas' best Youth runner." He reminds me.

"Fuck." I growl, pressing my head on his chest with panic.

"Get back to that lunch hall and find someone who you know hasn't done drugs or drank in the past 30 days." He orders. "What about you?" I whine. He shrugs guiltily and slaps my butt as I run off.

"Hey Jamie, when was the last time you drank?" I smile as sweetly as I can. "Sometime last weekend?" He shrugs.

"Xan?" I try, "I dunno, a couple month back." He informs me. 

"Brilliant, no drugs either?" I double check. "Other than my ADHD meds." He says.

"Fuck." I groan. "Avery?" I beg. "Maybe a week or two?" She guesses.

"Has anyone not drunk, done drugs or taking proscribed meds in over a month?" I hiss to the table.

Everyone shakes their heads except Noah who sheepishly says, "It depends." 

I grab his hand pleadingly in mine. "I need you to help me out." I beg.

"Anything." He says a little too quickly. "Woah, hold on. Not anything. What do you want from him." Xander intervenes.

"I need to take a drug test. It picks up on alcohol and all drugs. Mr Jenkins saw me drinking last night and told me I need to find someone to take it for me." I recap.

"Like.. pee in a cup?" Noah smirks. "No, it's a blood one." I say nonchalantly. Noah goes pale and his eyes sort of glaze over.

"Sorry Spence.. I can't help." He tells me with a voice barely there.

"What why?" I demand. "Noah's scared of needles. They popped a blood vessel when he was like 7 and then it turned into some blood clot and he spent a few weeks in the hospital." Maja explains.

"Shit." I sigh. "That's awful." I frown, a hand subconsciously on Noah's shoulder.

"I think i'm gonna drop out of the race." I inform everyone, heading out to the track where Ant is waiting.

"I can't get anyone. I'm dropping out." I tell him. "You can't drop out Hawthorne, this isn't about you." He booms angrily. "Well what am I going to do?" I demand.

"I'll do it! Spence.. I can do it." I hear Noah's voice running over.

"Noah it's fine. I'm not putting you through that." I deny. "I'm doing it." Is all he says.

"Good man." Ant nods, patting his back.

A little later I catch Ant slip one of the 7 medics a hundred dollars. The guy works full time as a medic in a summer camp, of course a hundred is a lot to him.

"Competitors will now step inside their respective schools assigned changing rooms along with a medic, who will draw a vial of blood, which will be used to test for drug abuse to ensure participants aren't doping." The announcer says.

I head inside the changing room, with Noah beside me.

"Excuse me #1, only one person allowed inside at a time." The referee stops me.

"I've got a phobia of needles. When I was 7 they popped a blood vessel and that lead to a blood clot, so I had to spend a couple weeks in hospital. I just need my boyfriend Noah to hold my hand." I lie. 

Noah smirks gently at me using his story to get away with it. They nod and let him inside with me. The second the door is shut the medic tells Noah to sit down and take his shirt off. Noah's eyes widen and he glances to me. I almost let myself laugh at his reaction to me seeing him shirtless, as if I haven't seen him shirtless about a thousand times before — swimming and stuff of course.

Nevertheless he pulls his shirt over his head and I willingly take it to hold it for him. "We're taking from higher up so they don't see a bandaid on your wrist and know what happened." The medic informs us.

"Sit down." He orders. Noah takes a seat, his breathing heavier than I've ever seen it. 

His muscled chest rises and falls rapidly. Stop looking at his abs Spencer.

"Massage the area to get the blood flow going." 

I anticipate Noah massaging his arm but he genuinely looks like he's about to throw up. "No.. you don't have to do this." I whisper soothingly, using this new found nickname so naturally. 

His eyes that were once frozen on the floor now snap towards me, the doctor works on prepping the vial and needle, sanitising everything.

"I'm doing it." He says firmly. So I crouch down beside him with a nurturing smile, gently massaging his bicep just like he was told to.

"I'm sorry about this." I sigh. "It's fine." He says sweetly. 

The doctor begins tying a rubber band tightly around his arm. "This stops blood flow and makes the vein swell which makes it easier to find." 

Noah shivers at the idea, staring at his arm as the doctor probs his arm for a vein, holding the needle close.

"Look away or this'll be harder for both of us." 

He makes no moves to look away, staring at his arm as pale as a ghost. "Noah.." I say quietly, clasping his free hand with mine. He forces his eyes away and stares only into my eyes.

The look on his face makes me want to cry, he looks so vulnerable and child like.

"He needs to un-tense or the needle could get stuck." 

Noah physically gags at this, squeezing his eyes shut at the thought.

"Noah.. look at me okay." I urge, he peels his eyes open once again and watching my features as if I can somehow make this all better.

I get to my feet and do the only thing I can think to do, I pull his head into my body and hug him, once hand in his and the other gently running through his hair. 

His hair is so soft. And it smells amazing. I could kiss him right now.

I settle for kissing his forehead and rubbing it gently with my thumb. I watch the needle slide in and feel Noah shudder in my arms. 

"You're doing great." I coo in his ear, he nods slowly, trying to believe it. A vial of his blood drains out in no more than a second.

"All done." The medic smiles cheerfully, pulling out the needle and covering the dot where blood is erupting from with a pad of cotton. 

Noah loosens his grip on my hand but still doesn't let go. He looks down at his arm and quickly looks away again seeing the red painted pad preventing more bleeding. 

The doctor starts to take a bandaid out its box and I snicker upon seeing the Peppa pig bandaids. "Kids summer camp, don't have any big kid bandaids." The guy laughs.

"You used to love Peppa pig, Noah." I laugh, looking down at his face which is still being supported by one of my hands. 

"No i didn't." Noah laughs. "Yeah.. you used to always sit with me when I watched it." I remind him. "That's just cause I wanted to sit with you, those pigs infuriated me." He laughs.

I smile softly. What does he mean he wanted to sit with me? He would always refuse to play with the boys cause he wanted to sit with me, I guess I always thought he just really liked Peppa pig. Maybe he just really liked me.

I take one of the bandaids from the medic and disconnect our hands so I can place it over his muscle. When the man sets it free from the rubber band I notice how much it made his veins bulge down in his wrist.

"Pierce your skin on the inner elbow so there's blood on the bandaid, then put on a bandaid. You, hydrate." He instructs, packing up his stuff.

"Just pierce my skin? Surely as a medical professional you shouldn't be saying that?" I swallow nervously. "Use the needle i left, it's sanitised don't worry." He says with a smile, walking out and leaving us.

"That sounds insanely suspicious." Noah scoffs. 

"You feel okay?" I frown, my hand running through his hair again. "I don't know." He says honestly. "You gonna throw up?" I ask carefully. "Maybe." He swallows nauseously. 

I remember him telling me recently that he threw up a lot. 

"Have a drink." I say, passing him one of the bottles pf water from the counter. "Thanks." He smiles, taking the bottle and sipping it quickly.

To distract myself from staring at the way his Adam's apple is bobbing up and down, I take the needle and line it up. I slide it in and then remove it again, blood starts flowing out of my arm and I search around for the bandaid he left.

Noah stands up, now having more color in his face after the water. He carefully walks me back into the seat until I'm sitting down. 

He gets a cotton pad and swamps up the blood from my arm. "I thought blood made you squeamish?" I ask with a laugh. "My own. I'm weirdly fine with other peoples blood. That's weird isn't it?" Noah realizes with a small smile. 

"I guess I understand. Knowing it came out of you is kinda gross." I justify.

"You nervous?" He asks as he opens up the bandaid. "A little." I confess. "Just remember what I said. It doesn't matter." He reminds me, sliding the bandaid on and pressing it down.

"How's your ass?" He has to stop himself from laughing. "I'm super fucking high right now so I feel completely fine." I smile, leaning forward and placing my elbows onto my knees then resting my chin in my hands so our faces are scarily close.

"I didn't know you had a boyfriend." He whispers, not backing down and moving away like I thought he might.

"He's a bit of a dick.. but unfortunately, yeah I do." I breathe.

"Why are you with him then?" He asks me carefully, none of us speaking any louder than we have to, already being face to face anyway.

"It's complicated. I can't end things." I explain.

"Spence if he's not treating you right you know you can always tell me. Or your brothers or one of the girls." He tells me.

"It's fine." I dismiss, knowing my eyes are starting to well up unwillingly.

"Spence.." Noah sighs with sadness when he notices my tears. "It's fine." I repeat, more for myself than him.

"I care about you so much.. and I need you to be okay. Whoever he is.. whatever he's doing. I swear to god i'll make it okay. Just give me a name, or even just tell me what I can do. You want me to report the kid? If I told Jenkins I know he'd sort it out." He assures me.

At the name I physically shiver. "Noah.. I'm gonna end it with him." I tell him.

"Is that a safe thing to do?" He says with worry. "I don't care." I say firmly. "I think I like someone else. Someone who'd treat me better." I barely manage to articulate. 

Noah's nose brushes mine and I find myself leaning in to kiss him. Our lips brush and I feel butterflies immediately swarming my stomach.

That's when the door slams open, Ant Jenkins standing in the doorway, his gaze finds us and he turns immediately furious.

"Mr Thatcher! Outside please, race begins in no time and only our competitors can be around when it does." Ant yells.

"Sorry sir." Noah fumbles to stand up and head out the door.

The second the door shuts I start trembling. "Ant we didn't even kiss. I swear." I shake, standing up and reaching my hand out to caress his cheek.

"I'm sorry. I know how it looks. But I love you." I plead with tears pooling my eyes.

He does what I always knew he would do. He lifts his hand and slaps me across the cheek. My comparatively much smaller body is quick to fall at his strong touch. The tears in my eyes fly down my cheeks.

"Get up." Ant booms. I shake as I push myself up to my feet and look him right in the eyes.

"We'll talk later. You win that race or I kill you." Ant booms. The hairs on my bare arms and legs stand up and freeze over with goosebumps.

"I'm sorry." I say one last time, heading out the door with tear stained cheeks.

The crowds are full with all 7 schools sitting in the stands. I spot Noah, rosy cheeks as he sits beside my brothers.

When my school see me walking up to the track, they all erupt in cheers. The number pinned onto my chest is #1, which means I'm the first out. Which also means I have to wait for everyone else to walk out in order, trying to stop myself from breaking down right here.

My whole body is shaking, and not just from the freezing cold winds causing goosebumps all over my barely clothed body. The underwear and vest that acts as a uniform is honestly lethal in this type of weather.

All of the other people I'm up against are men. Which makes me want to win even more. I know my chances are low but I can't back down after Noah faced his biggest fear to let me do this.

"On your marks. Get set. Go!" Th referee shoots a gun into the air. The banging sound triggers some sort of fight or flight reaction in me, because the second it bangs I start bolting for it. I'm ahead of the others, they're using stamina to pace themselves. I just run as fast as I can and pray for the best.

I make it two laps or so, a noticeable distance ahead of everyone else. I just need to make it to 6 and the race is over. I'm a third of the way there.

I know i'm crying as I run, but I don't let it stop me. Lap 3.

One of the guys is catching up to me, all I need to do though is picture Ant's face on the guy and I have an immediate boost. Lap 4.

I start feeling it. The hammering in my chest, the ache in my feet, the dizziness fogging my mind. But I run. Lap 5.

I look at Ant as I run by, his face replaying in my mind for the next lap, furious and ready to kill me. Lap 6.

Just make it to the end of this one and I'm done. The guys are catching up, but I power through and do my best to speed up even more.

I'm so close. Keep going Spence.

My feet make it over the finish line and the audience erupt into cheers. I look around and notice #4 also standing over the line. Who got here first?

My stomach contracts rapidly, hunching over and trying to breathe normally again.

"Who won?" I ask the guy beside me. He rolls his eyes and that's the only answer I need. I let out a breath of relief. 

Everyone from my school piles onto the track, Noah picks me up off the ground, spinning me around and hugging me euphorically tight.

The whole school pats my back and cheers as I'm given the medal.

"Miss Hawthorne? We need to finish that paper work back in my office. Once you've spoke to your friends head over." Mr Jenkins says with a dark undertone only I can see.

I nod sheepishly, taking my time to hug my brothers. Then on shaky legs I walk in the direction of his cabin, in the middle of the woods, nothing nearby except the other teachers cabins who are all out celebrating. 

I knock on the door with trembling hands.

"Come in." He growls furiously. I step inside, avoiding closing the door behind me, but he slams it shut regardless.

"You know what you did?" He asks calmly. Too calmly.

"I'm sorry." I plead. "So you admit you kissed him?" He demands, still saying peaceful.

"Almost. But I didn't mean it." I whisper, my voice not allowing any more exertion. 

"Good girl." He nods. I cringe with disgust. "Say you're sorry baby." He orders. "I'm so sorry." I say softly.

"Prove it." He says. "Huh?" I furrow my brows. "If you're really sorry, prove to me how sorry you are." He orders. "Okay." I nod, stepping forward and placing a hand on his cheek.

"I love you. I'm so sorry." I say gently.

"Prove it!" He booms. I cower away from him. "Come on baby, prove to me just how sorry you are." He groans, ripping the flimsy cheap fabric of my shirt open and pushing me against the wall.

"Ant.. I don't want to sleep with you to solve this." I tell him sternly. "So you'd rather he fucked you than me?" He spits.

"Well right now you're scaring me." I say shakily.

"That's a yes then? You want him and his tiny cock to fuck you instead of me? Well he never would, because he doesn't love you. Nobody will ever love you." He yells.

"You did." I whimper. "I will never love you. Your body is a tool to me. I have never once shown interest in you as a person." He states.

And those words, they make me realize that from the very beginning it's always been about sex with him. He never told me he loved me. He never took me out to dinner. He never loved me.

"You're a hole for my dick and my dick only. Don't ever let yourself believe you mean any more to me." Ant shouts.

"But.. Ant you-" I don't even know how to vocalise how I feel, tears streaming down my face.

"Take your clothes off and do the one thing you're good at." He screams, face red and spit flying as he seethes, louder than he's ever yelled before.

"I'm not sleeping with you." I shake my head. "You think you've got a choice in this?" He growls.

"I should. Unless you want to get arrested for rape." I grit.

"Kid, it's not rape when you are what you are." He smirks. "What am I then?" I cry. "A whore. That's all you'll ever be. A prostitute with big tits and a loose pussy for every man in this world to enjoy. But just know kid, this pussy was mine before anyone else's." He yells.

"Don't call me kid. I'm not a kid." I sniffle. "What are you then? Cause crying like a kid isn't doing you too well for the whole 'I'm not a kid' narrative. Wipe your tears and take this like an adult." 

"I'll tell the school board. You'll get fired for fucking a student." I say.

"I'll put a bullet through your school before letting you tell anyone." He grips me by the neck, pinning me against the wall.

I start uncontrollably sobbing with anxiety, realizing I can't win in this situation.

"Shhh.. stop crying. You're an ugly crier and I really don't wanna fuck an ugly bitch." He sighs, sitting me down on the end of his bed.

"Baby, I'm sorry." He coos, kneeling in front of me and wiping off all the tears. 

I'm left with just hiccups and thick tear stains down my cheeks. 

"Okay now take your clothes off." He tells me with a comforting smile, a smile that is anything but comforting right now.

When I make no moves to do it he does it for me, pulling my ripped up shirt off, now I'm only in underwear due to the uniform being a vest and underwear.

He slides his hand inside my bra, I seize up and feel chills run over my body.

"Don't be nervous. Just lay there and take it like usual, baby." He whispers.

"Don't call me baby." I cry.

"Fuck do you want me to call you then?" He yells, losing his patience.

"I want you to call me Miss Hawthorne like you do any other student." I whine.

"Whatever you say Miss Hawthorne." He smirks.

"I'm breaking up with you." I tell him abruptly, doing whatever I can do delay what he's attempting to do.

"We were never together." He reminds me. "I'm breaking things off with you." I change my wording. "That's not in your control baby." He says sympathetically.

I look at my options. 

A: He rapes me.

B: I kick him in the dick and make a run for it.

B it is. 

He groans in pain when my foot collides with him, he crumples to the floor for just a moment long enough for me to stand up and run for the door.

Right as I'm about to walk through a glass is thrown right against the door, shattering all around me and making me squeal. 

Ant grabs my wrist and twists me around, punching me straight in the nose.

"Fuck!" I scream, gripping my bleeding nose. "Don't do that!" He booms.

I grab the door and pull it open, hitting him right in the face with it. "If you ever come near me again, I'm telling everyone that you've been hooking up with me all year! And I have proof! Tristan walked in." I say furiously.

I don't care that I'm wearing only underwear right now, or that theres a stream of blood tracing down from my nose to my chest, or that my mascara is running, or that my voice is hoarse from screaming and crying, or that I'm still sweating from my race. I run.

I run through the woods until I reach the cabins, much to my dismay the only people here are my roommates and the boys. 

Jameson is the first to see me, worry and confusion taking over his once smiling features.

"Spencer! What the hell?" He booms loudly, alerting the others attention to me.

I run over, keeping my composure until I get close to Jameson. The second I get to him I just completely break down. He's quick to lunge into my arms to hold me as I sob.

"Oh my god." I hear Avery gasp.

"Xander, get her a coat." Jameson says calmly, running his hand in circles around my back.

"Noah.." I let out a sob, my brother lets go of me and I step straight into Noah's arms, sobbing against his warm chest. "I did it. I did what I said I'd do." I tell him proudly.

"Your boyfriend did this because you broke up with him?" Noah says shakily. I nod against him.

"I'm gonna kill him. Who is it?" Jameson grits his teeth. "Nobody." I dismiss. "No, not 'nobody'. Tell me who it is and I'll fucking kill him. Nobody hurts my sister and doesn't get what they deserve for it." He yells.

"Stop yelling." I beg in a whimper. "Spence." Xander calls, passing me a hooded sweater he got from my bedside. I shrug it on, hugging my body and trying not to let my eyes close for too long so I can't think about it.

Avery steps forward, carefully taking my hand and walking me inside our cabin. She helps me sit down on the edge of my bed, getting a hot cloth and wiping under my eyes like a Mother.

"Tell us what happened." Jameson instructs more calmly now. 

"I was going to Jenkins office to finish the paperwork, and on the way my boyfriend saw me and tried to sleep with me but I told him it was over. He didn't like that answer so he slapped me, punched my nose and took my clothes off. I knew I wasn't making it out unless I defended myself so I kicked him in the dick and ran. Then I blackmailed him into never coming near me again." I lie, explaining this but modifying parts that reveal Ant's identity.

"That's my girl." Jameson smiles gently when he hears I kicked the guy in the dick. "But I do need to know his name so I can kill him." He adds.

"Did you not hear me? I dealt with him. I can ruin his life if he comes near me again. It's over. And I did it all by myself like a big girl." I scoff sarcastically.

"Uhh, Spencer. You've got a hand print on your face." Avery tells me carefully.

I sigh and rub at it sadly. I fold my arms over my body and sniffle.

"I'm so sorry this happened." Maja says with extra sadness to anyone else, likely guilt. 

And then she does something I never expected my so called 'enemy' to do. She sits beside me and wraps an arm over my shoulders. I relax my body into her arms, letting her hug me despite our differences. 

"I did it." I whisper. "I know. I'm proud of you." She nods quietly.

"When we get home, Nash, Grayson and I are killing this guy." Jameson warns me. "Can you stop fantasising about killing him and just help me forget. I don't want to think about this." I say sternly.

"We could talk about the party?" Kassidy suggests, putting our hatred for each other out of the way and changing the topic.

"Course you're thinking about the party." Tristan scoffs.

The group disperses into a conversation of teasing laughing and joking around. I just sigh in relief and let it consume me.

"Well we are standing in the room with The 1st Place Texas Youth Track Running Winner." Avery smiles proudly nudging me gently.

I don't know what conversation let to this, but I smile at the thought. I won. I actually won.