Now that Alice was back to normal after recovering from her head wound— and thank goodness for Willow, because that was her doing— Xavier insisted on spending "bonding" time together each day. It wasn't particularly different than how he'd been doting on her and checking on her while she was injured, but at least she could walk around now.

He didn't take her anywhere special. The library and the gardens were still the main places in the palace she was allowed to explore, though he did concede to taking her to the ballroom one day, just for a change of scenery.

Today, though, they were in the shadowy library, watching the rays of sunshine peek through dark, sheer curtains as they strolled among the books. Alice held Xavier's arm as he escorted her, keeping herself carefully tucked close to his side. She had something important to ask him, and it wasn't going to go well if he thought she was afraid.

"Xavier?" she said softly, her voice echoing in the quiet space.

"Yes, treasure?" He used that same familiar endearment, but it was starting to really grate on her nerves. At first, it made her feel like something precious. Now, it made her feel like something hoarded away.

"I was just thinkin' that... Well, it might be nice to take a quick trip home?" she asked hesitantly. "Just for a day or two. I could pick up some of my things."

"Are you unhappy here?"

"No!" Alice said quickly. "I just... Well, I've never really been anywhere with totally new people. It gets kinda lonely sometimes."

Xavier went silent, though he continued walking. For a moment, Alice thought he would flat out deny the request. That would be... very, very bad. She didn't exactly have a backup plan besides this, unless she asked Florian to help sneak her out. Still, she wasn't sure she could get away from the castle fast enough to outrun Xavier or any Shadow Fae trackers or—

"I'll take you there myself," he finally said. "It's the fastest way to travel."

Alice beamed, and she didn't have to fake the joy, either.

"Thank you, thank you!!" she practically squealed, grabbing onto his arm in excitement. His expression softened just a little at that, the faintest ghost of a smile twitching at his lips for a moment.

"Only for three days, though. We have preparations to make for the full moon celebration."

"When do we leave?"

"The day after tomorrow. I'll drop you at the wards, then come back to pick you up," Xavier said.

Perfect.

If Xavier wasn't planning to stay and supervise, that gave her even more wiggle room to ask about everything she'd seen and learned. It was a little surprising that he didn't want to keep a stricter watch, considering she hadn't been let out of his sight this whole time. Then again, her family wasn't a part of the Shadow Court. They had no influence over what was happening here.

Her... family.

Alice had to fight not to show how her mood dropped when the thought crossed her mind. The group on Howard's Knob was family, as assuredly as any blood connection.

And she'd run away from them.

"Though, I warn you... I would hate to have to use force to bring you back," Xavier continued. "Do take care to be ready to return on time. I wouldn't want to make any rash decisions under the assumption that someone tried to keep you away from me."

Ah. There it was. Alice could handle thinly veiled threats— at this point, they made her more determined rather than of a mind to shrink away. She had spent far too long running, hiding, and waiting on others to take action. This time, the battle was in her hands.

"Of course, I'll come back to you," Alice said, shifting her hold on his arm to his hand. 

Yes, she would come back, but with any luck... she would come back ready for war.

Alice held up their joined hands for a moment to examine his left arm, taking a good look at the design that matched hers. As hard as she tried, she couldn't find any differences, couldn't see anything in particular that made them different. It was almost eerie what an exact match they were.

Try as she might, Alice couldn't entirely put aside the notion that she and Xavier were mirror souls. It had been gnawing away at the back of her mind as she researched, trying her best to find more information about the blood vows, the matching marks, the idea of mirror souls in general...

But there was precious little information available on mirror souls. Most of it appeared to be legend, something that was highly searched for and coveted, but difficult to confirm. They were said to be souls that reflected each other, not always a romantic match, but a perfect pair in every way. A mirror soul was, apparently, a profound connection that ran through lifetimes, across centuries, bringing you back to each other over and over.

A mirror soul was someone cosmically destined to find you. It wasn't entirely clear how or why the bond worked, but enough people had similar experiences that it couldn't be ignored. Strange dreams, emotional turmoil, a feeling of familiarity upon meeting, and in some cases, even memories of past lives bubbling to the surface— all were commonly reported symptoms of meeting a mirror soul. It was supposed to be something good, even if it came with challenges.

So why did she feel so terrible about it?

Despite her attraction to Florian, despite her experiences in the castle, a part of her wondered if Xavier wasn't lying. A part of her wondered if they really were mirror souls, and if so... what if by helping Florian, she pushed away her best chance at love forever?

But... Alice was also no longer sure she wanted a love with Xavier. The thought that they were magically, cosmically, permanently tied together, even beyond this life... It was utterly terrifying. She didn't want to be that close to him, not in a thousand years.

Still. What if she was wrong?

What if he just needed someone to love him into softness, to bring out the soul underneath? What if it just took more time than she was willing to give?

Alice must have been staring and ruminating for longer than she intended, because eventually Xavier spoke up, drawing her out of her thoughts.

"See something interesting?" Xavier asked, smirking as he gently let go of her hand, still holding his arm out so she could see.

That was when she noticed something else. As Xavier let go of her hand, Alice could see a thin scar line across the palm of his left hand. It looked familiar, in that she could recognize what it was, but it was too familiar. too exact.

She was absolutely sure that it matched the one on Florian's palm perfectly.

"Why do you have a blood bargain scar on your palm?" She asked, turning his hand over to look at the mark.

This one was the same as Florian's scar. Why would he have a matching blood bargain scar on the same palm, but not the matching blood vows? Who had he bargained with? Did they bargain with each other?

If so, what was important enough to use blood magic to seal it?

Xavier grabbed her hand again, hiding the scar between their palms.

"Why, indeed..." he muttered, giving her hand a slight squeeze as he laced their fingers together.

That was when she noticed something odd: Xavier's hand was warm.

It wasn't hot or sweaty, not unnaturally warm, but it was a far cry from his typical chilly touch. Normally, his skin was lukewarm at best. This felt like the touch if a normal human hand.

"Wha—" she stuttered, eyes wide as she looked up at him.

"Think hard, little rabbit," he said, giving a wink that was very unlike Xavier. Surprised, Alice dropped his hand and stepped away, staring.

He smiled at her softly, the corner of his mouth coming up in a lopsided grin that looked very much like...

But as soon as she had the thought, the moment was over. Eyes closing and groaning in pain, he doubled over, gasping for breath. Xavier shook his head as if to clear it, blinking furiously at her.

"Apologies, my treasure. What were you saying?" he asked breathlessly, straightening. If she wasn't entirely certain what she'd just seen, Alice might have thought she'd been dreaming, hallucinating, or simply imagining things. She might have still thought that, but Xavier's usually unshakeable disposition looked slightly different, slightly off.

Slightly rattled.

"What just happened?" she murmured, eyes wide.

"Nothing," he said quickly. "I was simply a little lightheaded."

That was not lightheadedness. She knew Xavier had doubts about her intelligence, but even he couldn't deny that something had happened there. It wasn't just a quirk of the light or a flash of dizziness.

"Your hand was warm," Alice breathed, panic rising. "It— it was just for a second—"

"Don't worry about it," Xavier said through gritted teeth.

"No, but it changed," she insisted. "It was like—"

"It was nothing! Do you understand? Nothing!" Xavier reached out in a flash, hands gripping her shoulder so hard that it hurt. "The shadows in this place play tricks with your mind. If you're planning to survive here, you cannot let them get to you!"

His voice echoed through the massive library, reverberating off the stone walls, so loud that Alice felt it in her bones. The grip on her shoulder was bruising, Xavier's eyes wide and frantic as he bent a little lower to look at her. He looked... almost afraid.

But in that fear, he'd lashed out at her, and Alice had already learned more than enough about people who lashed out like this.

That was it. That was enough.

"I'll see you at dinner," Alice said, keeping her tone as even as possible as she gently shook herself out of his grasp.

She wanted to rage and scream and snap at him. She wanted to run away again. Unfortunately, though, she couldn't do any of that if she wanted to keep his trust. The best she could do was stay calm for the moment, act silly and besotted, and hope he thought there wasn't anything bubbling under the surface.

"Alice, wait," he said, grabbing for her hand. "You know I'm only trying to care for you, don't you?"

No, she wasn't convinced of that, however much he wanted her to be. He was trying to do something to her, certainly, but Alice wasn't certain that whatever it was involved care.

"I know," she managed. "But it's time for you to go to your meetings," she said, gesturing at the large clock on the library wall.

Xavier cursed under his breath.

"You're right, treasure. Thank you. I'll see you later." He bent a little to kiss her forehead. "Ask the librarian if you need directions back to our rooms."

"Of course," she said, smiling brightly.

As soon as he turned to leave, though, the smile dropped.

Alice was simply grateful that he didn't try to kiss her mouth this time. She was starting to get a little sick of the feeling of his kisses. They left an awful sensation in the pit of her stomach that she couldn't quite figure out how to escape.

Instead of heading back to their rooms, Alice took the side path out to the gardens. They were familiar to her now, and Xavier didn't seem to enjoy being out in the sunlight for long, so outdoor spaces felt like something of a sanctuary. She didn't reach for the hidden compartment with Florian's cloak and her books, though. This time, she just wanted to think.

Something strange happened back there. Alice wasn't entirely sure what she'd seen, but it certainly wasn't normal, and it wasn't lightheadedness. She paced in circles in the garden, going over everything she knew so far.

The most incriminating evidence was the blood bargain scar. That was the connection she couldn't ignore, not with them looking the same on both Florian and Xavier's palms.

Alice turned the corner to make another loop around the gardens, but jumped back as she found herself staring at a familiar figure.

"Alice," Florian said.

He'd been completely silent in his approach, meaning he was likely in Shadow form. She almost wasn't surprised to see him. He had a tendency to show up when she was alone, and especially outside. Rather than a greeting, though, she launched straight into her theory.

"You made a bargain with Xavier, and it left ya like this. It's got to have done," she said firmly. "It explains the scar on your hand and why you can't talk about the bargain. It's the magic."

Florian looked surprised for a moment, but then he outright laughed.

"I knew you'd get to it eventually," he said. "How did you put it together?"

"You have the same scar that he does. Exactly the same," she said. "Still working on that part, but I'm gettin' there!"

She still didn't have all the information she needed, and it was incredibly frustrating trying to put pieces together without knowing what it might lead to. The longer she stayed in the Shadow Court, though, the more it became clear who her real friends and allies were.

As much as she wanted this to be a perfect marriage, a perfect solution to her problem, she'd gotten trouble instead. Even her husband wasn't someone she could trust. The same husband that claimed he looked for her because they were soul mates.

"And... I think I've got a problem," Alice whispered.

"Mm? What's that?"

"Xavier keeps tellin' me we're soul mates," she said with a sigh. "But I... don't know that I wanna be."

"Why?" Florian asked. "That is, besides the obvious."

Alice couldn't hold back a snort, but she sobered quickly. Florian certainly did not like Xavier, not one bit, and... Well, she was perfectly okay with that.

"I don't... think... he likes me," she said slowly. "That sounds stupid, sayin' it out loud, but I don't think he does. And I can't tell if he loves me."

"What's the difference to you?" he asked curiously, tilting his head a little. He looked like a curious bird gazing down at her, his eyes gentle, but... He did genuinely seem like he wanted to know.

She wasn't even sure if she should be talking to him about this. Who would ever talk to the person that they were infatuated with about their husband, anyways? Though... perhaps this was a bit of a special scenario.

"My ma and sisters— Well, at least my sisters," she amended. "They love me. I know they do. They act like fightin' cats, but I know they'd stick up for me and for each other in a heartbeat if there was trouble. I don't think they always like me, though, and that... still hurts."

"Why not your mother?" Florian prodded gently.

Alice swallowed hard.

"She... I don't think she likes me or loves me," Alice admitted, voice dropping to a whisper. "I don't think she ever did. I'm just a reminder of my sister bein' stillborn and my daddy passin' on before his time."

Florian paused for a moment, taking in the information. He paced in a circle, eyes locked on the ground, opening and closing his mouth. Briefly, Alice wondered if he was trying to find a gentle way to tell her she was whining, that she didn't know what she was talking about, that everything was in her head.

He didn't, though.

Instead, he paused, stepped a little closer to her, and spoke very quietly.

"You focused quite a lot on what it feels like not to be liked or loved. What do you think being loved should feel like?"

Alice trembled as she looked up at him. She desperately wanted to touch him, but she couldn't, not when he was in this form. Tears welled in her eyes, but she pushed them back and shoved them down deep, willing herself to stay calm.

"I think... you should talk about everything you can," she said slowly. "I think it's mutual support. It's knowing you can trust someone."

"Has Xavier ever done anything like that for you?"

Alice looked away, pressing her lips tightly together. She didn't have to speak for him to know exactly what her answer was. A month ago, she might have argued that it would just take time. They were soul mates— they had to go together. They had to fit somehow. It just might take a minute to work things out, and then everything should click into place.

It hadn't, though. Not even a little.

"He claims you're mirror souls, yes?" Florian asked gently. Alice was grateful for the slight subject change, grateful that he hadn't forced her to speak her answer.

"He does," Alice said. "I haven't figured out how to prove or deny it, though."

"Does it matter if it's true if you don't love him?" Florian asked, sliding a little closer to her. In his Shadow form, she couldn't feel his warmth. She couldn't smell that familiar scent. It was still comforting to have him close, though, still just as soothing.

He had a point. The longer she stayed, the more Alice was forced to admit that she didn't love Xavier. She didn't even want to love Xavier, not anymore. But how much control did she have over who was her mirror soul, over her destiny, over her emotions?

Looking up at Florian for a long moment, Alice decided that she didn't care if she had no control. She would wrench back into control the wheel that steered her own life, even if it was the last thing she did.

"What do you want, Alice?" he whispered.

"I..." she paused, feeling a sudden tightness in her chest.

She wanted Florian. That much was clear to her, though she was afraid to say it out loud. What would she do if he rejected her, too? How would she recover again?

"What if I said I wanted you to touch me?" she asked quietly, unable to meet his gaze.

"I would love nothing more, little rabbit," he whispered. "I'm afraid that I can't, though, not in this form."

Alice sat back against the massive tree roots, crossing her arms over her chest as she tried to muddle through the information she had so far. It was, above all, both frustrating and strange that Xavier wanted to touch her constantly, while she was only ever able to touch Florian once or twice.

She wished she could compare them side by side, but Xavier and Florian were never in the same room at once—

Wait.

Xavier and Florian were never in the same room at once.

Alice sat up a little straighter, squinting at Florian's Shadow form— the form he said that Xavier couldn't access. She'd felt Xavier's hand go warm before, just briefly, and seen a personality shift that made her think for a moment that she wasn't with Xavier in that room.

Afterwards, he flew into a rage. He wouldn't talk about it, wouldn't let her ask about it, insisted it hadn't happened. The pieces were slowly, very slowly, starting to click into place. She still couldn't see the full picture, but a few things made much more sense if she plugged in one unlikely, potentially impossible, scenario.

"... You were in Xavier's body earlier, weren't ya?" Alice asked, eyes narrowing. "I felt it. I felt the change."

"Not exactly," Florian said, but he was smiling. She was on the right track. "Think. Think hard."

Okay. She could do this. She could figure it out.

It looked like Florian had, very briefly, taken Xavier's place. That... probably shouldn't be possible. Magic made plenty of things possible, though. Ellie had mentioned that spirit possession was something that could happen, but not without some serious dark magic or the willing consent of the physical party, and she wasn't sure how else two people might be able to share a body.

Except... Florian said he wasn't in Xavier's body.

So if the body wasn't Xavier's... then...

"He's in your body," she amended, gasping. "He's controlling it. Did— did he... kick you out or something?"

"In a way," Florian said. "When Xavier's consciousness takes over my body, I'm somewhat... forced into my Shadow form as an outlet for my spirit. It's why I'm still able to speak to you even when he's controlling my physical form— oh, hell, that feels good to say." He took a deep breath, letting out a small, slightly panicked laugh.

"Can we get your body back?" Alice asked hesitantly. He looked so real, so corporeal, that she almost couldn't believe that her hand would pass right through him if she tried to reach out.

Florian opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He pursed his lips and nodded slowly. At least she knew, at minimum, there was a way.

"I wanna help," she whispered. "I'm not leavin' you like this."

"Please do not put yourself in danger for me," he hissed, shaking his head. "I don't know what he has planned for you, but focus on saving yourself. Please."

Alice took a deep breath, clenching her hands into fists as she steeled herself.

"I've been waitin' on somebody to save me my whole life. I think it's 'bout time I started doin' it myself," she said firmly. "I'm not leavin' you behind. We're both gonna get out."

"Thank you," he said, looking for a moment like he might cry.

Though Alice had never thought of crying as an attractive quality before, it made her heart melt to see him like that. Florian was like fire— he outwardly expressed so much emotion, had so much life, and it made her want to live, too.

In that moment, she made a decision: Florian was worth it.

It didn't matter if her heart was broken. She could heal from that. She did not, however, think she could heal from losing her chance with him.

"I wish it was you instead," she whispered. "I wish you were my mirror instead."

Florian went stock still, and for a moment, she wondered if his Shadow form might entirely vanish. She wondered if he might run away, might laugh at her, might seem confused.

Instead, he reached out for her with his incorporeal hand, letting his fingers graze her cheek. She couldn't quite feel the touch, as it was something more like a breeze on her skin than a real hand, but Alice didn't take her eyes off him as he stared at her.

"I don't really care if we're mirrors," he said, and Alice's heart dropped.

Maybe this was a bad idea after all.

"I want you anyways," Florian continued, shaking his head. "I want to try."

Alice couldn't stop the tears from overflowing at that. She sniffled, trying to dampen her cries so she wouldn't wail, but the warmth in her chest was too strong. The tears continued flowing, so strong that she couldn't speak, hands over her mouth and slightly shaking.

"Are you—" Florian began, hands flailing. He reached out automatically, but his fingers passed through her shoulder.

"I'm good. Good tears," Alice managed, sniffling loudly.

She wasn't sure what to say anymore, but Florian calmed down a little at that. He moved as close to her as he could, obviously wishing he could touch. It wasn't yet clear what kept him restricted to Shadow form most of the time, but Alice determined right then that if she got another chance to be with his physical form, she planned to hug him and never let go.

"Hey... if ya can't tell me about the bargain, can ya tell me about... you?" she asked, sniffling as she glanced over at him. Florian raised an eyebrow, but he nodded.

"I like fae wine, and I'm incredibly afraid of heights, but I refuse to admit to it in front of anyone," he said, laughing softly. "Is that what you want to know?"

"It's a start," Alice said.

"Let's try this, then," Florian said. "When what you call the Appearances began, when we were trapped on this earth and unable to return to our homes in other worlds, a good portion of my court was here. We were celebrating, taking a special journey to see other lands. My father— the Shadow King, at the time— insisted that it was important to see and interact with humans when we could. The veil between our worlds has always been so thin that he thought it would foster understanding and peace to spend time on earth."

He paused, taking a deep breath.

"What... where is he now?" Alice asked hesitantly.

"Dead," he said flatly, disjointedly, as if distancing himself from all emotion in order to continue speaking at all. "Accidental iron poisoning, long before we realized exactly how prolific the substance is in the human world."

"I would hug you if I could," Alice said. It seemed a little silly, but it was what she wanted to do, and it made Florian smile.

Florian... who wanted her. Who might actually love her. If not now, maybe there was a chance for that one day, a chance to build on the trust they were developing that very moment.

"After his death, I desperately did not want to rule. I didn't know what to do or how to be the leader my people needed, so I... made the worst decision I have ever made in my life," Florian said softly. "I had a little too much wine and thought that I might be able to bargain my way out."

"I can't judge," Alice sighed. "I've done stupid things because I was hurting, too."

"You lost your own body, too? What a coincidence!" Florian joked, a bright smile on his face despite the circumstances. She couldn't help but laugh.

"Nah, I just married an evil king and then fell for his lookalike instead," she said, giggling.

"I'm... glad you did," Florian said shyly. "I'm glad to have met you."

"Me, too," Alice agreed.

After everything she'd gone through, and even if this turned out badly... she wouldn't trade it. She was glad for everything that had happened if it meant the chance to meet Florian.

Where was that damn watch?

Xavier huffed, rubbing his forehead as he took a seat in his desk chair. How did one lose a soul trap, exactly? He'd had plans for it. Now those plans would need to be reworked.

No matter. It was a small setback in the grand scheme of things. He'd waited centuries for this, and he could wait a little longer to redo his plans.

The bigger problem was Alice. It was taking far too long for her to accept him, no matter what he did. He took her on walks, they ate their meals together, he flattered and doted on her, but still she shied away from him like a frightened animal.

It was a problem. He needed her willing for this magic to take, to be able to use her power as his own. He needed it to break the bargain, to tip the scales in his favor.

He needed to speed the process along, too. She asked far too many questions, and it made him wonder if Alice wasn't as stupid as she appeared to be... but none of that would matter as soon as the marriage had been consummated.

Xavier didn't want to force things. He had always been someone who preferred to use coercion, bargains, and mental games to get what he wanted rather than brute strength.

That, and... well, he wasn't entirely certain the blood vows would activate at all if Alice wasn't a willing participant.

He would simply need to woo her faster.  What did human women like, he wondered? What appealed to their senses? Should be bring flowers? Should he make professions of love written in terrible poetic verse?

Truly, Xavier thought that the best step to take might be to acquiesce to whatever inane requests she made in that entirely infuriating accent of hers. He'd nearly scared her away, and now he needed to do whatever he could to make Alice feel safe here. If she felt safe, her walls would come down in no time.

After all, she was barely more than a child, starved for affection and desperately yearning for a life of her own, yearning for an existence that didn't depend on her abusive mother. All he needed to do was to string her along just a little longer...