musical mood: treacherous - taylor swift

A traitor. That was all Cass could think about for the next month. Someone, one of their friends, had been giving information to the Death Eaters, information that got Ana killed.

Who could it possibly be? There were countless options, yet at the same time, no one. Sure, it could technically be anyone, but what reason would any of their friends have to get Ana killed? They all adored her, and all hated the Death Eaters. That she knew of, anyways. You never knew what was going on beneath the surface with someone, Cass supposed. She'd learned that the hard way with her father.

January went by in a breeze, and in February, apparation lessons began. Cass attended each and every one of them, though she found that she was no good at it. Of course, her Ravenclaw mind couldn't handle such an atrocity, and with every passing lesson, her frustration grew. Between that, still mourning Connor and Ana, and brooding over the traitor's possible identity, life truly couldn't have been worse.

On a particularly shit day after lessons, she was practically fuming as she walked down the halls, and, as she wasn't looking where she was going, she ran straight into Henry.

"Bloody hell, watch where you're going, Cass!" He said as he stumbled backwards.

"Sorry." She rubbed her forehead, which she had accidentally slammed against his chin.

"It's alright. I was looking for you anyways."

"You were?" She raised her eyebrows.

"Yeah. It's Valentine's Day tomorrow."

"It is?"

He nodded, and when she didn't say anything, he continued, though a blush was creeping onto his tan face. "We ought to do something together, don't you think?"

"I mean, I suppose so." Truthfully, Cass had completely forgotten that the holiday was the next day. The past Valentine's Day had been so lovely, minus the whole Malfoy and Saoirse fiasco, and she'd assumed that this one, she'd spend in her room, sipping on some calming drought and trying not to cry at the memories. But, maybe spending time with Henry could also be nice.

"You suppose so?" A teasing smile formed on his lips as they walked down the hallway together. A few people glanced at them as they did, but Cass was used to the stares by now. They stopped bothering her long ago.

"I mean, I have nothing better to do." She shrugged, and while he let out a laugh, she could tell he was dejected by this. "What do you want to do? Go to Hogsmeade?"

He shook his head, his smirk reforming as though it had never left. "No, that's far too basic. I have a much better idea. Meet me outside the castle, by the greenhouse, tonight at midnight. I'd prefer an early start to the holiday."

She frowned. What could he possibly have planned? "Er...okay. See you then."

*

Cass knew she had grown to have a reliance on calming drought. She wasn't stupid, ever since she'd began getting cravings for the potion even when she wasn't in a bad mood. Not drinking it put her in a bad mood. While she wouldn't use the word addict to describe her growing reliance, she was certainly heading in that direction, and it didn't bother her as much as it likely should have. She had bigger problems to worry about than a newfound potions addiction.

She was out of calming drought, which was certainly not an option for her. Luckily, she had all the ingredients needed to brew more, so she swiftly gathered them all and headed to the kitchens. Calming drought smelled pretty bad while being brewed, so she figured she wouldn't subject her dormmates to it. They put up with enough of her concoctions as it was, and they didn't need to know the extent of her need for the potion.

When she tickled the pear (something she'd never get used to), and entered the kitchen, she found she wasn't alone.

It took a moment for Cass to recognise the snogging couple, between the flaming red hair and the midnight black, but when the two broke apart, eyes wide with horror, did she realise she'd just walked in on Saoirse Moore and Adelaide Burke.

"Shit, fuck, sorry! I'm so sorry!" She sputtered out, taking a step backwards, nearly falling over her own two feet as she did.

"What the fuck are you doing in here, Crouch?" Saoirse spat, the shock lifting from her expression, leaving one of rage behind. Adelaide, on the other hand, wore a look of pure mortification, as she slid behind Saoirse, as if hiding.

"I-I was going to brew a potion, shit, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

Saoirse opened her mouth, likely to spew more profanities, but before she could, Cass dashed out of the kitchen, breathing heavy.

As she ran down the halls, not stopping, even as she dropped some of her potions ingredients, she had two thoughts.

One, it was safe to say Malfoy wasn't dating Saoirse, and two, that Adelaide was likely not a candidate to join the Death Eaters, if she was a lesbian dating a muggleborn.

*

As Henry had asked, she met up with him outside the greenhouse at exactly midnight. He was waiting for her, leaning against the wall, messing with his fingernails. It was snowing, the gentle white powder blowing in her face as she approached him, the sound of snow crunching below her feet.

"Hey, Cass." He greeted her with a wave.

"Hey..." She frowned, looking around at the bland nothingness that surrounded them. Other than the greenhouse, there wasn't anything nearby. "No offence, Henry, but this isn't very romantic."

"Who says I had something romantic planned?" His eyebrows jumped up, and she felt a blush creep across her face.

"Oh, well, I just assumed..."

"I'm kidding." He waved a hand, and she sighed in relief. "Of course I have something romantic planned. You are my fiancé, after all."

She rolled her dark brown eyes. "What is it, then? I'm bloody freezing."

"You won't be in a moment. Follow me." He motioned for her to follow him, and while she was wary, she obeyed, trailing a few feet behind him as they trudged through the snow that went up to their ankles.

"Where are we going?" She groaned, hating the way the snow seeped ice cold water into her shoes. Had she known they would be spending their time outside, she would've dressed accordingly. Instead, she felt severely underdressed in her typical thin white button up shirt and grey skirt.

"You'll see." He turned to flash her a wink, continuing to walk.

Eventually, they reached the edge of the Forbidden Forest, and she stopped dead in her tracks. "We aren't going inside, are we?"

"We are." Henry confirmed with a nod, and Cass's eyes grew.

"What?! We can't, it's the Forbidden Forest - it's forbidden! It's in the bloody name!"

"Oh come on, loosen up. It isn't as bad as you'd think, you just have to stay away from certain areas."

"I heard there are giant spiders in there, and Centaurs! And werewolves!"

"I have my wand, I'll protect you."

She eyed him up and down, his skinny frame, with so few muscles that it somehow managed to rival her. But, Henry seemed so honest, so desperate, she sighed. "If we get killed, I'm going to murder you."

"That makes no sense." He shook his head, but stepped into the forest anyways.

Cass took a deep breath, collecting her nerves, before following him.

The deeper into the forest they went, the more she grew to regret it, especially when the moon was no longer visible, eliminating their only source of light. Henry cast Lumos with his wand, though it did little to settle her anxiety. Every snapped twig, every little sound, sent her into a panic, and at one point, she grew so scared, she grabbed Henry's hand and squeezed it hard.

He looked over at her as her skin brushed against his. "You scared?"

"No." She lied. "What's there to be scared of? Besides vampires, and dragons..."

"You really think there are dragons in the Forbidden Forest?" He let out a laugh.

"You never know!"

"Trust me, Cass, I think I know. I've been in here more times than I can count, and I've never gotten into any sort of trouble." He shook his head. "Come on, we're almost there."

They walked for about five more minutes, and just as Cass was about to demand they turn around and go back to the castle, Henry stopped in his tracks. "We're here."

She stopped as well, staring in front of them. They were at some sort of pond, that gentle whisps of mist hovered above. The snow was cleared up around the area, as though melted away, leaving tall, thick blades of grass in its place.

"It's a hot spring." Henry explained when she turned to question him. Their breath left clouds in the air as they spoke. "I figured, since it's so bloody cold out, we could do with some warming up."

"How did you even find this place?" She asked as she glanced around. If you didn't know the forest they currently resided in harboured dangerous creatures, it would've been peaceful, serene, but Cass was still worried about a werewolf popping out and mauling them to death.

"Theodore and I used to explore the forest a lot, when we were younger. It was fun, breaking the rules, trying not to get caught. We never did get caught, actually. We only stopped after...well, what happened to mum."

She nodded, understanding. "I'm sorry again, about your mother."

He shook his head, a passive smile on his lips. "It wasn't your fault. You helped me through it, actually. A lot."

She reached over and squeezed his hand. "I'm glad."

The two stood like that for a moment, simply staring at each other. Eventually, Henry broke their silent staring contest, pulling away. "Ready?"

She nodded, and Henry began to undress, pulling off his shirt.

Cass was instantly flashed back to her time with George, when they'd gone swimming in the Black Lake, when she'd been so flustered at his undressing. She didn't feel that way with Henry, in fact, it felt almost natural, and she didn't hesitate this time to pull off her own clothes, tossing them aside, and dipping her feet into the hot spring.

Warmth flooded her instantly as her toes met the water, the perfect temperature, not too hot or too cold. She could feel Henry's eyes on her, but it didn't occur to her to cover up, nor did it seem to occur to him as well, as he moved around in just his boxers, slipping into the water. It went up to halfway above his chest, and he sent a splash her way.

"Come in!" He yelled as she jumped out of the way. "It's so nice!"

"I'm working on it!" She rolled her eyes, taking a deep breath and descending into the warm water. It just came up to her bra, which she found she didn't particularly care about covering. Being half-naked in front of Henry Nott wasn't as intimidating as she figured it might be. "I will admit, Henry, this is nice."

"Told you." He grinned, and she couldn't help but grin back.

The two stood there for several moments, absorbing the sounds of nature and basking in the warmth of the hot spring. The stars were only just visible through the trees, and Cass leaned up to stare at them, finding all the constellations.

"Do you love me?"

Cass turned to Henry, who had broken their silence.

"What?"

"Do you love me?" He repeated.

She paused for a moment, thinking this over. She did love him, yes, but he was obviously implying something beyond the lengths of friendship. There was a distinct attraction to him that she felt though, and she'd experienced this attraction since their snog at the end of her fourth year. He was handsome, there was no denying that, and his personality was far better than anything she deserved. They were to be married, so she shouldlove him, should try with all her might to, and as she thought about it, she realised it might not be a difficult task.

"No." She eventually answered.

Henry's expression didn't change, he simply nodded, like that had been the answer he was expecting. "Alright."

"But I could."

He blinked, clearly taken aback.

"I think I can, I think I will." She continued with a shy smile, unlike anything she'd ever expressed before. "I'm just about certain I'll fall in love with you, actually. I just need time. I need to get over George, and get to know you, in a way that's more than friends."

Henry gave her a sad sort of grin, like he was regretting what he was about to say. "You don't need to lie to me, Cass. I can handle the truth."

"I'm not lying." She insisted, taking a step towards him, though her movements were slowed down by the water. When she reached him, she pressed her hands on his shoulders, meeting his eyes. "I fancy you, I do, it's just taken me a bit to realise that. And I'm sorry I've been such a bitch the past few months. With Connor, and everything...I took my grief out on you, and you didn't deserve that. I'm sorry."

"You fancy me?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Is it really that surprising? Honestly, Henry, I don't know how half the school isn't bending over backwards for you."

Henry snorted, and she released her grip on his shoulders. Henry glanced down where her hands had just been, and then at her. When he spoke, his voice was low, like he was afraid someone in the vast forest might overhear. "I really want to kiss you right now."

"Do it." Cass stared into his deep brown eyes, daring him.

He did as she asked, leaning down to meet her height, and pressed his lips against hers. They were soft, softer than just about anything she'd ever felt before, and she reached behind him, grabbing a fistful of his long black hair and pushing him closer towards her. Rougher, more passionate snogging ensued, leaving ripples in the hot water as they moved about, struggling to keep their footing through their passion.

Henry took another small step towards her, in order to press his body fully against her, but in doing so, he must've tripped on something, as he quite literally fell on top of her, sending them both fully underwater.

"Shit! Sorry! Oh my God, I'm so sorry, Cass!" He coughed as she pushed herself back to the surface. "I slipped, I'm so sorry!"

She pushed a bit of newly drenched wet hair out of her eyes, smiling as she tried not to cough. "It's alright." She wheezed. "It was funny."

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asked, breathless. She wondered if it was from falling over or kissing.

Cass nodded, and for the first time in a long time, she actually meant it.

*

Cass's seventeenth birthday was a dreary occasion at best, and downright miserable at worst. Without Ana there, there was no life, no happiness, no true purpose for just about anything.

She sat there, fiddling with the necklace Ana had given her two years ago to the date, trying to pay attention to the conversation Naia and Terry were having about Quidditch. It had grown quite heated, and they were yelling so loud, their voices echoed off the common room walls, and Cass wouldn't have been surprised if those in their dorms could hear.

Luna and Bethany sat on the couch, both of their noses stuck in a book, and Henry was on the floor next to Cass, staring at her with an expression that was impossible to read.

"Oh, Cass, this came for you in the mail today." Naia jumped up suddenly, reaching into her pockets and handing Cass a tiny envelope. Cass hadn't gone to breakfast that day, deciding to stay in bed, drinking some calming drought, and read a book.

Her stomach instantly filled with dread. Was it something from Barty? Was he finding yet another way to torment her? She hadn't heard or seen him in months, maybe he'd grown bored of whatever it was he was doing and decided to return to what he did best - ruining her life.

But as she opened the letter, the horrible pit in her stomach settled. It was from Padma Patil.

Cass,

Happy birthday. You're a legal adult now! Have fun.

Miss you.

Xoxo

-Padma

P.S. I keep having dreams about you and a possum, on a mission together. Not sure what it means, but it feels important. Keep that in mind. The possum is your friend, it keeps telling me. You can trust the possum.

Cass shook her head, laughing to herself. Padma was so strange, but she loved her so much. She wondered how she was coping, now, with her father gone. Cass had reached out to her and Parvati a few times, but had only gotten small, simple responses in return. She understood, losing a parent was one of the worst things that could happen to a child. She certainly couldn't imagine losing Alastor.

"Who was it from?" Terry questioned.

"Just Padma." She smiled, tucking the card into the pocket of her robe. "Wishing me a happy birthday and all. She said she's dreaming about me and a possum."

"A possum?" Bethany looked up at this, lips curled up in amusement. "Is that one of her psychic dreams?"

Cass shrugged. "I hope not. I don't particularly like possums."

Henry snorted, and Cass turned to look at him. He really was handsome, she hadn't been lying when she told him as much, that the students of Hogwarts were all crazy to not be obsessed with him. He had his hair out of its typical bun, and it rested at his shoulders, and Cass resisted the urge to run her hands through it, to pull him close and kiss him.

She'd never love him like she did George, she knew that for a fact, but as she grew fonder and fonder of him, she could feel her sentiments towards him growing, and now, being around him made her heart flutter just as it had near Cedric when she had fancied him.

Henry had given her a bracelet for her birthday; a nice golden chain with a few charms on them, to which she thanked him with a chaste kiss on the cheek. While they were officially a couple now, both to the rest of the world and in their personal lives, PDA wasn't something either of them were significantly into. A drastic change from George, who would've snogged her in front of the Great Hall if presented the opportunity.

Eventually, the common room cleared out, leaving just Cass and Henry alone, sitting on the floor, not talking, though it wasn't at all awkward. The full moon shone through the glass panes of the window, sending a sliver of light down Henry's tan face.

"Have a nice birthday?" He asked.

"As good as it could've been, I suppose." She pressed her lips together. "I just...I wish Ana could've been here."

"Me too." He gave her a sad smile. "Fuck, I miss her, and I didn't even know her well. I can't imagine how Theodore is coping. To lose someone you love like that..." He shook his head, hair flying about as he did, though his eyes remained fixed on her. "I don't want to even imagine that."

Cass didn't have to imagine. She knew exactly what Theodore was going through, and then some. The poor boy...it hurt her heart just thinking about how miserable he must've been. Especially with his task, looming over him.

"Well, you're an adult now." Henry elbowed her when she said nothing, not hard, but playful. "Do you feel grown up?"

"Very." She rolled her eyes. "I'm ready to settle down now. Have a few kids, enter the work force, and retire in a few short years."

"Kids, huh?" He raised his eyebrows. "You don't strike me as someone who wants children."

"I don't." She admitted. "I don't think I'd be a good mum. I never experienced a good parent as a child, I wouldn't have anyone to base myself and my actions off of."

"Plenty of people with bad parents make good parents themselves." Henry shrugged. "I'd like to be a dad, someday, and I don't think I'd end up anything like my old man. Though, if the Dark Lord wins this war, I wouldn't want to. I wouldn't want to bring children into a world run by him."

Cass nodded in agreement. "That fucking sucks. This entire thing sucks. You-Know-Who, having so much control over our lives. Over what we do, who we marry, if we have children. It's sick. I fucking hate him."

"Me too, Cass. Me too."

As the two sat there, heads leaning against the couch, a thought hit Cass, so sudden it nearly physically knocked her over.

She didn't have to play entirely by You-Know-Who's rules. She could do what she wanted, in little forms of rebellion. He might get to choose whoshe married, but not when, or where, or how. That was all up to her.

"Henry." She jerked up, her posture stiffening as her heart raced so fast, she feared for a moment it might burst out of her chest entirely. She knew this likely was a terrible, horrible idea, and would wind up with the two in Merlin knows how much trouble, but she didn't care one bit. She had to get back one sliver of freedom in her life, no matter what it cost.

He turned to look at her, eyebrows perked up at her sudden change in tone. "Yeah?"

Her eyes met his, ghostly serious. "I want to get married. Tonight."