musical mood: break my heart myself - bebe rexha

Ron Weasley was the hero of Gryffindor, after they defeated Slytherin in a Quidditch match for the century. Or, at least, that was what Lavender was telling Cass as they made their way out of the stands.

Cass had never cared one way or another for the sport, and had only gone along to watch the game because Lavender insisted. Parvati was on Lavenders other side, absentmindedly nodding along with everything she said. She was clearly not a fan of the sport either.

"There's going to be a party in our common room, if you want to come." Lavender turned to Cass. "Henry is invited too."

"I don't think Henry would want to come." She shook her head.

"I won't want to come to what?" She heard Henry say from behind them, and he approached the three girls. His blackish brown hair was pulled back into a bun, and he overall looked put together. Far more than Theodore had been appearing as of late, at least. "Nice match, huh? Weasley sure blew me away, he's always been a little useless."

"Says you!" Lavender snapped, likely harsher than intended. Henry didn't seem phased, though.

"There's a party in our common room, for the match." Parvati explained to him. "You're welcome to come. Not Theodore, though. He's a rotten Slytherin." She joked, and Henry mustered a grin.

With a lingering glance at Cass, as though searching for her approval, he said, "Sure, I'll go."

*

Cass returned to her dorm room before the party, to get changed into something worthy of a party, and to take three calming droughts to settle her racing thoughts and aching body. She had no idea what she was sore from - maybe Barty had somehow injured himself, and it had made her way to her through the Bond, but no matter, calming droughts also seemed to dampen her physical pain as well as mental. She sure needed the calming droughts for her emotional wellbeing as well, being around Henry as of late was like being around a banshee, he made her head spin, and her heart hurt, like he was slowly sucking the life out of her. He was driving her mad, though she couldn't figure out why he was giving her such a physical reaction.

"You okay?" Henry greeted Cass as she descended down the stairs that lead to her dorm room. He'd waited for her? Why on earth would he do that? He hated her. "You look a bit pale."

"I'm brilliant." She flashed him a grin, finding she actually meant it. Sure, her life had gone to shit; the boy she loved knew she was a Death Eater, she was engaged to someone who despised her, her best friend had been murdered, and she had to raise an army of child soldiers for You-Know-Who, but other than that, life was good. "Let's get going, we don't want to be even more late."

Henry nodded, and the two departed from their common room, down the halls, and made their way towards the Gryffindor common room. The password this time was Bertie Bots, which Parvati had made sure they were given before they departed to the Ravenclaw common rooms to get ready.

The room was erupt with chaos, everyone cheering on Ron, who was currently in the middle of a snogging session with Lavender.

Cass swiftly averted her eyes, having no desire to witness her friend publicly snogging Ron Weasley, of all people. Though as she did, her gaze fell onto a horror-stricken Parvati Patil. Her mouth was agape, brown eyes wide, and her tan cheeks tinted green, like she might throw up.

"Well, that was unexpected." Henry muttered into her ear as the two continued snogging as though no one were watching. "Lavender and Ron, who would've thought?"

"Yeah..." Cass trailed off, her eyes still fixed on Parvati, who had turned around and began walking up to her dorm. "Hold that thought, Henry. I'll be right back."

It took a significant amount of effort to push through the crowd of Gryffindors surrounding the couple, and by the time Cass had reached the other side of the common room, Parvati had already hidden herself away in her dorm.

She climbed up the stairs, eyeing the doors until she found the one that said 6th years, and swung it open.

Parvati was sat on one of three beds, a cigarette in her hand, as she gently blew smoke out of her painted red lips. When her eyes settled on Cass, she forced a sad sort of smile. "Hey."

"Can I come in?"

She nodded, and Cass shut the door behind her, moving through the dorm and sitting down next to Parvati. "Are you alright?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"I saw your face, when Ron and Lavender were snogging. You looked like you were about to be sick."

"I still think I might be." Parvati admitted with a shrug.

"Well, don't throw up on me." Cass warned with a teasing grin that Parvati mirrored, though as soon as it came, it faded, leaving a dull expression behind.

Neither of them said anything for a while, simply sitting in silence, Parvati blowing smoke through parted lips.

"Fancy some?" Parvati eventually broke the silence, handing over the box of cigarettes.

"Sure." Cass pulled a slim white stick out of the box, lighting it with the tip of her wand, and attempting to blow circles in the air like Parvati had been doing. She failed miserably, likely looking like an idiot as she choked on the smoke. "I suck at this."

"You can't really be bad at smoking." Parvati let out a small laugh.

"Well, I certainly don't look cool like you."

"Not everyone can have my charm." She winked at Cass, an evidentially futile attempt at distracting herself from whatever had her in such a funk.

Cass reached over, placing her hand over her friend's. "Do you want to talk about why you're upset?"

"I'm not sure." She whispered, brown eyes fixed on her shoes. "Cass, if I say it out loud, I can't take it back. There's no undoing it."

"You can tell me." She squeezed her hand ever so slightly. "Whatever it is, you can tell me. I can help you. I want to help you."

Parvati shook her head. "It's nothing you can help with."

"Maybe talking through it will help. Sometimes, just having an ear to listen to you makes all the difference you need."

Parvati took a deep, shaky breath, pausing for a moment, before speaking. "I love her, Cass."

"Lavender?"

She nodded slowly, tears filling her eyes. "I think I always have, in a way. Henry, sure, I liked him, I suppose, but he's not Lavender, no one will ever be Lavender. She's the only one I want."

Cass opened her mouth, to say what, she hadn't a clue, but before she could, there was a harsh knock at the door.

"What?" Cass snapped as she got onto her feet, swinging the door open to be met face to face with Henry. "What do you want?"

"Nice to see you too." He rolled his eyes, before turning to Parvati, who had gone back to smoking her cigarette. "Sorry, Parvati, but I need to borrow Cass for a spell. It's an emergency."

"No problem." She waved a dismissive hand, though her smile faltered.

"I'll be right back." Cass promised her friend as she sent a glare towards Henry. He began to drag her out of the dorm, down the stairs, and outside of the common room and into the halls. "What is it, Henry? I was having an important conversation."

"As important as the Dark Lord?"

"What? What happened?"

"I was going to get some butterbeer, and I found a spare copy of todays Daily Prophet laying around, and on the cover, it said that the Malfoy Manor was raided by aurors yesterday. Under Alastor Moody's orders."

"No." Cass took a step backwards, nearly tripping over her own feet as she stumbled into the stone wall behind her.

This was bad, this was really bad. They knew, George must have said something, because what other reason would Moody have to want to raid Malfoy manor?

"Did they find anything? Please tell me they didn't find anything!"

"They didn't." Henry shook his head, and she sighed in relief, though when he continued to speak, her stomach clenched right back up again. "But this is bad, Cass. Really bad. It means the aurors know something is up. One of us must've slipped up at some point. My bet is on Malfoy, he surely hasn't been doing a good job of remaining inconspicuous."

Cass didn't have the heart to admit that it had been her that had fucked up. Her that had been stupid enough to show her Dark Mark to George, however accidental it may have been.

With a deep breath, she turned around, and began walking down the hall.

"Where are you going?" Henry called after her, jogging to keep up with her intense speed.

"I need a calming drought. Now." She needed ten, twenty, a hundred, to fully settle the burning anxiety in her stomach, the feeling of utter despair that was threatening to capsize her.

"A calming drought?"

She shook her head, not wanting to elaborate, lest Henry chastise her on what was likely growing to be an unhealthy reliance. Not that she cared. "Forget it."

When she returned to her dorm room, Bethany was already inside, reading a book in her bed. When Cass made a beeline towards her dresser drawers, she raised her eyebrows. "Back on your drugs again?"

"What are you on about?" Cass didn't bother to so much as glance at her, her attention focused solely on finding the tiny vials hidden among her clothes. When she did, she unscrewed the cap and downed three in one go.

"Don't play dumb, you've become a proper potions addict."

Just as calm had flooded her, it left. "Shut it, Burke."

Bethany held her hands up in mock surrender, though she wore a wry smirk. "Yeah, yeah. You're so bloody defensive."

Cass simply rolled her eyes as she collapsed into her bed, not bothering to change out of her clothes. She rarely did, anymore. Pyjamas were too much work.

When she drifted off to sleep, she dreamt of Parvati and Lavender snogging, then Lavender turning into Barty, and killing them all with a rubber chicken. It would've been funny, had it not been so disturbing.

*

Cassiopeia,

For Christmas break this year, I request you return to Grimmauld Place, instead of staying at Hogwarts. There are important things we need to discuss.

If you do not oblige this letter, I will come to the school myself and demand you return home with me, so please do as I ask.

-Alastor

*

"Do you have any plans for break?" Naia asked Ana as she helped zip up Luna's dress. Potter had invited Luna as his date to the Slug Club, for what reason, Cass had no idea, but she chose not to judge it.

"I'm staying with the Patils, remember?" Ana smiled, and Cass couldn't help but smile with her. It was nice, seeing Ana in such a happy state, considering how miserable she had previously been. She seemed to be mostly over Theodore, who had been acting equally as depressed over their breakup.

"Yeah, Ana is coming to our house for break." Padma looked up from her Divination textbook.

"We're going to have so much fun!" Ana grinned, before turning her attention to Cass, who had just finished styling her hair. "By the way, you look absolutely lovely, Cass."

"Thank you." She mirrored Ana's wide grin. "I wasn't sure about the dress colour, I don't usually wear red, but..."

"It suits you." Naia nodded in approval.

"Oh, Cass, are you wearing the necklace I got you?" Ana's eyebrows jumped up, and she swiftly rushed over to Cass's side, reaching down and yanking the necklace to her face.

"Yeah, I am. I love it." She nearly always wore the cute locket with their pictures inside, that Ana had got her for her fifteenth birthday. She'd worn it in France, during her time with Barty, when she'd been miserable over what had happened to Connor...it was a reminder that even in the darkest of times, she had one friend she could always rely on.

"I'm so glad!" Ana jumped up and down with glee, a gesture that would've been obnoxious for anyone to do except for her. It was perfectly natural.

When Cass and Luna had finished getting ready, they met their dates outside of where the Christmas party was to take place, Potter greeting Luna with a genuine smile and a strange blush on his cheeks. Cass frowned at this - surely he didn't fancy her, the entire school knew Luna was dating Naia. She sure hoped Potter wasn't completely oblivious to that.

Henry, on the other hand, barely looked at Cass as she reached over and grabbed his arm, allowing him to escort her into the room.

There was an abundance of people in attendance, many of which Cass recognised as her father's old co-workers at the ministry. How did Slughorn know so many people? Was that why You-Know-Who wanted him dead - because of his connections? No, that didn't make any sense...

"You look nice." Henry said after several long moments of silence, in which the two simply stood there, unsure what to do or who to talk to.

"Thanks. So do you."

The corners of his lips curled up ever so slightly. He opened his mouth, like he was about to speak, but before he could, Cass spotted someone out of the corner of her eye. Blaise Zabini.

The perfect opportunity to recruit him, in plain sight, where no one would suspect them. "Be right back, Henry."

She swiftly exited where she had been standing before Henry could say so much as a word, and made a beeline towards Blaise, who was conversing with one of the Carrow twins - Cass couldn't tell them apart. Maybe they'd be good to recruit too - they were in Slytherin, after all, and the Carrows were known blood supremacists. Though, she didn't know the twins well enough to feel safe enough to ask them about it, not yet, at least.

"-and then, McGonagall gave us all detention, even though the fire was entirely Crabbe's fault - oh, hello Cass." He turned to her with a polite greeting.

"Hi, Blaise." She gave him a bright smile, as if they were the closest friends in the world, and not people who had interacted about twice in their entire Hogwarts career. "Could I borrow you for a moment?"

His brow furrowed together. "Er, yeah, I suppose so. One moment, Flora." He stepped away from the twin - Flora, apparently, and followed Cass into the corner of the room. "Is everything okay?"

She glanced around to make sure no one was listening, before leaning in. "I'll cut to the chase, Zabini. How do you feel about You-Know-Who?"

If he had seemed confused before, that was nothing compared to now, his eyes practically bulging out of their sockets. "What?"

"You heard me."

"I don't have an opinion on him...why, are you looking to start a fan club?"

"Sort of." She gave him a crafty smirk, the best she could come up with. She had to come off casual, joking, in case he took it the wrong way.

Clearly, he thought she was joking, as he let out a howl of laughter, throwing his head back and nearly spilling the drink he had been holding. "Merlin, you're so drunk."

She laughed alongside him, hoping it didn't come off as forced as it was. "I'm serious, Blaise. What side are you going to take in this war?"

"Why do you care?"

"I don't care. I'm curious, is all. I just think...I think that you should take the winning side. Morals and personal beliefs aside."

"Well, they certainly call you Crazy Crouch for a reason." He laughed once again. "Trust me, Cass, I know where my loyalties will lie, when the time comes. I'm surprised you, of all people, would consider...the right side."

"You'd be surprised what people will do to live, Blaise. Anyways, it was nice talking to you." And with that, she turned away, trying to conceal the satisfied smirk that was forming on her freckled face. She'd completed her mission - or, well, begun to complete it. She'd successfully recruited one boy, or at least, it seemed like she had. They were on the same page, that was evident.

She knew it was horrible, to be anything near giddy at the idea, but she found herself hardly able to contain her excitement. Not out of loyalty for You-Know-Who, but because succeeding in her mission ensured the safety of those she loved. That was what mattered, in the end, she'd never have a repeat of Connor, Cedric or Bartemius. She refused, downright refused to lose any more people in her life, and if obeying the commands of an evil wizard was what she had to do, then so be it.

*

The rest of the party went by smoothly, Cass and Henry making small talk with those around them, though hardly looking at one another. Though while Cass was pleasant on the outside, she was mentally preoccupied, listing out those she thought might be swayed to You-Know-Who's side. Adelaide Burke, of course, was her top priority. Crabbe and Goyle were idiots, but she knew their fathers were Death Eaters, and likely shared similar sentiments as their dads. There was always Daphne and Astoria Greengrass, and Pansy Parkinson, though she feared the gossiping girls might be a risk in attempting to sway. If things went wrong, and they blabbed, she'd wind up in Azkaban, and her loved ones would be killed.

"You alright?" Henry stared at her as they made their way back to the Ravenclaw common room.

Her train of thoughts was derailed, as her head snapped up. "Yeah, I'm alright. Just thinking."

"About?"

"My mission."

He nodded. "I see."

A silence fell between the two, not necessarily awkward, but not pleasant by any means either.

Eventually, Cass broke it, exhaling a sigh and allowing an apology to slip from her lips. "I'm sorry I snogged George. It was fucked up, for me to do that. I was supposed to give us a chance, and I blew it. I'm sorry."

"Thank you." He gave her a tiny grin. "I'm sorry too, for being so mean."

"Don't be. I reckon I deserved it."

"Do you want to start over again? For real, this time?"

The corners of her lips curled up before she could prevent it. "I couldn't ask for anything better. Honestly."

*

"So, you and Henry are like, actually dating, right?" Naia stared at Cass from across the compartment they were all crammed inside - they being Cass, Naia, Luna, Padma, Parvati, and Lavender. Ever since Parvati's confession to Cass, she'd noticed tension between the two that she hadn't previously, them snapping at each other more than usual, not meeting each others eye, hardly behaving like friends at all. She wondered if anyone else had picked up on their odd behaviour.

"Yes...?" Her brows furrowed together in confusion.

"You don't act like it."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I've never even seen you two so much as hold hands. You were all over George when you were dating him."

"Naia has a point." Padma added. "You're so...strange, together. It's odd. I never would've expected you and Henry, of all people, to go out."

"We're just taking it slow." She insisted, which wasn't entirely untrue. She and Henry had agreed that, while they were trying to make everything work, they ought not to rush things. They had a life ahead of them in holy matrimony, after all. There was no need to take things too fast too soon.

"If you're sure." Naia winked, though her attention was quickly diverted, as Padma collapsed from her seat onto the compartment floor in what appeared to be a dead faint.

"Oh my God!" Parvati jumped to her feet, lowering herself to meet Padma's wide open brown eyes. "Padma? Fuck, Padma! Are you alright?"

Padma opened her mouth to speak, but the voice that emitted from her lips was not that of her own, but a deep, raspy one, that didn't sound at all human, but alien, foreign, reminding Cass of The Voice back when she'd stolen the book from Quirrell.

"The younger child will overcome the elder

Vengeance will result in the lover's demise

Battle will ensue, and hate will conqueror love

What was born in flames will end in blood"