musical mood: right where you left me - taylor swift

There was little alcohol could fail to solve, but your ex boyfriend, whom you were still in love with, finding out you'd joined a terrorist organisation wasn't one of them.

Cass didn't care that she was drenched, eyes red from sobbing, and probably already looked drunk as she stumbled into the Hogs Head. She didn't care that the eyes of the midnight pubgoers were fixed on her. She didn't care about anything at all.

She'd failed. Her mission had been failed. George was bound to tell someone what he knew, and the aurors would be there any second, to take her away, lock her up in Azkaban and throw away the key. Even worse, of course, was that You-Know-Who wouldn't take kindly to her incompetence, and would harm those whom she loved so dearly.

It was impossible to stop feeling, when she felt the world caving in around her.

Inhale. Hold. Exhale. Repeat. She told herself as she nursed a bottle of firewhiskey, the burning liquid becoming a godsent as it ran down her throat, numbing her senses.

Numbness. She'd give anything to be numb, numb to Connor, numb to George, numb to anyone and anything that could cause her distress. Oh, how she'd give anything to return to how she had been in her first year, apathetic, misanthropic, without a care for anyone outside of herself. She'd been horrible, but at least her emotions were safeguarded.

"Crouch?"

Oh for Merlin's sake.

"Hello, Dahlia." Cass greeted the eldest Burke sister, with a dull tone that clearly signalled she'd rather be poking her eyes out with needles than speaking to her.

"Mind if I sit?" She wore a false smile, reminding her of Umbridge.

"Kind of, yeah."

Dahlia took a seat across from her anyways, and Cass bit her lip to suppress a groan.

"You look like shit." She observed.

"So do you." Cass lied. Dahlia looked as gorgeous as ever. She'd cut her black hair to meet her shoulders, and new bangs covered her delicate, acne free forehead.

Dahlia rolled her eyes, knowing full well that Cass was wrong. Cass had always admired that about Dahlia, in the most secret of ways. Her confidence was radiant in the way only the most noble of purebloods possessed. "What are you doing here?"

"What are you?"

"Fancied a pint. I'm meeting my boyfriend here later."

"Still dating Grant Page, then?"

"Engaged, actually." Dahlia stuck out her hand to flash a shiny diamond ring on her finger. It was a generous size, one only the richest of families could afford. "He's a pureblood, so my family approves."

"Congratulations."

At least one of the Burke sisters will be marrying for love . Cass thought bitterly.

"Well, this has been lovely, catching up, but I really best be off. Don't want anyone at the school to notice I'm gone." Cass stood up from the table, setting down her firewhiskey, but before she could move, Dahlia's hand had wrapped around her wrist, cementing her in place.

"I know your secret, Crouch."

Her stomach fell to the floor.

"What are you on about?" She blinked, trying to feign indifference, though she could tell it wasn't working as she had hoped.

"You're on his side." Dahlia stood up this time, and leaned in as she spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. She was so close to her, Cass could smell her minty breath.

She didn't need to ask who she was referring to.

"How do you know that?"

"My uncle told me. I know my father has joined his side after escaping from Azkaban. I don't know where he's residing, unfortunately, but no matter. I'll see him again, once I join their ranks."

"You're going to join the Death Eaters?" Cass stared at her in disbelief. Truly, she shouldn't have been surprised, Dahlia had always had a few screws loose when it came to blood supremacy. But it was shocking nonetheless.

"Oh, don't give me that look, Crouch. Hypocrisy doesn't suit you." She snapped. "I'll do whatever it takes to protect my family - to protect my sisters. I know you know how it is. Make no mistake, Crouch, the Dark Lord will win this war, and the best place to be when he does is on his side. I can only pray Beth and Addy will follow in my footsteps."

"Bethany never will." Cass shook her head. "She loves Colin, she'll always love Colin. But...Adelaide...do you think she would?"

"Why do you care?" Her nose scrunched up.

"Because, I'm supposed to recruit Death Eaters. If I have a shot with Adelaide, I'm going to try and take it." Assuming George didn't have her thrown in Azkaban before she had a chance. She had no reason not to tell Dahlia her mission, if Dahlia was truly planning on joining the Death Eaters, then why would she tell on Cass, even if they were enemies?

Dahlia pursed her lips together, considering. Though, when she did choose to speak, it had nothing to do with her little sister. "I don't hate you anymore, by the way. I mean, I don't like you at all, but I've gotten over George, and that whole fiasco. When we thought you were dead, I was actually kind of sad."

"I don't hate you either." Cass admitted with a sad sort of smile. "Hating takes too much energy. Too much emotion."

"I can relate to that." She mirrored her smile. "I think you have a shot with Adelaide. Just don't come on too strong, and maybe mention me. Steer clear of our father, though. She hates him."

"Why does she hate him? Other than him being a death eater, of course."

Dahlia shook her head. "It doesn't matter. Just don't mention him. Okay?"

"Got it."

*

"Where were you?"

"Fuck off, Henry." Cass groaned, rubbing her temples as she attempted to move past him. "I'm not in the mood."

"I've been waiting for you all night - it's two in the morning! Where were you at two in the morning?"

"Why are you even awake? We have class tomorrow." She dodged his question.

"I could ask you the same question." He folded his arms over his chest, his brown eyes fixed on her.

"I was hooking up with George." She spat, venom seeping in her tone, deciding there was no reason to lie to him. He had the right to know, and she hadn't a care in the world if it hurt him. "Is that what you want to hear?"

"What?!"

"You heard me."

"Cass, you literally just told your dormmates that we're dating! You told me that you were going to try with me, just hours ago! And now you're hooking up with your ex? What the fuck?"

"Don't pretend to be shocked. You're not that stupid."

"What the hell is wrong with you? Holy shit, you're like a whole different person!"

"Just leave me alone, Henry. Please."

"Fine." He pressed his lips together in a straight, thin line, as he shook his head. The look of sheer disappointment on his face was enough to make Cass want to crawl out of her skin entirely. "But don't expect me to come crawling back to you. You've gone too far this time. We can tell people we're dating for the sake of public appearance, but I'll never love you. Not how I used to."

She didn't know why those words hurt as much as they did.

*

It was odd, seeing the ever cheerful Ana in such a depressive state, after her breakup with Theodore. No one seemed to know what to do. Not even Bethany, who was without a doubt Ana's best friend, could rouse her from her melancholy. Not for lack of effort, though, the usually callous girl was desperate to help her friend, trying to bribe her with new makeup and butterbeer, but all Ana wanted to do was stay in bed.

Cass knew how she felt.

Cass also knew that, while she'd never admit it, Bethany felt guilty, given that Theodore had broken up with Ana because of her, however unwillingly.

"You have to get up." Padma was insisting on a Saturday, grabbing onto Ana's arm and attempting to pull her out of her bed. "Come on, we're going to Hogsmeade. It's a girls day."

"I'd rather sleep." Ana murmured, her face in her pillow. "It's cold out, anyways."

"How would you know?" Naia asked as she approached Ana's bed, also giving her arm a gentle tug. "You haven't been outside in ages."

"I have eyes, and we have a window. It's snowing."

"We can have a snowball fight, then!" Luna smiled at the idea, a typical dreamy look in her eye. "Come on, Ana, you should join us. Please?"

"I agree with Lovegood." Bethany said from her bed, where she was running a comb through her silky black hair. "You should come with us. I'm not going to a stupid girls day without you."

Naia yanked on Ana's arm again, this time much harder, and Ana went flying out of her bed, landing on the floor with a groan.

"What the fuck, Naia?" She moaned as she sat up. Her short red hair was horribly greasy, like she hadn't showered in a week.

"You're coming with us." She insisted, folding her arms over her chest. "I will literally hex you if you don't get up."

"Don't hex her, Naia." Padma chastised.

"I will! She needs air, some sunlight, I mean, look at her face! She's almost in as bad of shape as Cass."

"Oi, I'm right here." Cass snapped, rolling her eyes. "And for your information, I've started showering again."

Naia snorted, continuing to pull on Ana's arm until the girl finally stood up. "Fine, fine, I'll go with you guys. But only because you're nearly taking my arm out of its socket!"

"It's what I do best." Naia winked, and everyone burst into a fit of laughter. Even Bethany smiled ever so slightly at this, though it may have had more to do with Ana's reluctant agreement.

Padma did Ana's hair, making it look somewhat presentable, though some of the knots were too hard to get out, so she was stuck with little snarled pieces of hair sticking out awkwardly.

While the rest of the girls were doing this and that, picking out their outfits and getting Ana looking in top shape, Cass slipped over to her bedside table, pulled out a calming drought and downed the thing. She almost instantly felt better, a calm rush filling her. She hadn't even needed one, she'd been in a decent enough mood, but they never hurt her any, and she had plenty to spare.

They met up with Parvati and Lavender on the way to Hogsmeade, all of them shivering from the cold that they were beyond underdressed for, especially Lavender. She'd started dressing differently this year, like wearing her skirts higher than they were supposed to be, and leaving a few top buttons on her shirt undone. This time, she was wearing what could only be described as a miniskirt, as it hardly passed her butt, and a thin pink tank top. She looked stunning, of course, but Cass didn't quite understand the function in such cold weather, and Parvati kept giving her odd looks as well.

The group of girls made their way into the Three Broomsticks, finding a large table for all of them to crowd around and instantly dive into conversation, most of which surrounded cheering up Ana even more.

"He isn't even that hot." Lavender insisted, her hand on Ana's shoulder. "Henry is way better looking. If only he wasn't such an idiot."

At the mention of Henry, Cass stiffened, though she tried not to let her discomfort show.

"It's fine, guys, really." Ana gave them a smile that didn't meet her eyes. "Thank you for trying to cheer me up, though."

"Anything for our Ana." Padma swung an arm around her shoulder, pulling her in a tight hug. "You know, I heard a rumour from Cho Chang that Anthony Goldstein fancies you. Maybe you could go after him."

Her freckled nose scrunched up in distaste, as Cass cringed at the mention of Cho. "He's a bit...odd, though, isn't he?" Ana's brow furrowed together, clearly deep in thought. "I mean, he hardly speaks, and when he does, it's always about muggle films. I like Dead Poets Society as much as the next person, but it's a bit obsessive."

Lavender shrugged, grinning. "Yeah, but he's hot. I mean, those eyes."

Parvati shifted in her seat, though no one but Cass seemed to notice her sudden discomfort. Did Parvati fancy Anthony? No, she didn't think she'd ever seen the two so much as talk. Though, she supposed some crushes were formed on looks alone.

"What about Terry?" Naia suggested. "He's not sore on the eyes."

"Isn't he gay?" Cass frowned. According to the student body, he was currently in a relationship with Ernie Macmillian, though she wasn't sure how true that was. She hadn't spoken much to Terry in the past year, given he apparently still held resentment towards what happened in their fourth year, so it would've been odd to ask him about it.

"So? Still not bad looking."

"You're so strange." She shook her head, laughing to herself.

Lavender tossed her hair to the side, an eager expression forming on her face, and Cass immediately dreaded hearing what she was going to say, having a gut feeling she knew the exact subject she would speak of. "Oh my God, speaking of relationships, how is Henry?"

Parvati's head whipped up at the mention of her ex boyfriend, and Cass tried not to sink into her seat.

"Henry's fine." She shrugged, attempting to come off as indifferent.

"Are you dating Henry?" Parvati asked, though her tone of voice wasn't one of hurt, like Cass had expected, but more non-cholent. Did she not care? It had been two years since they had dated, maybe she was over him. Especially if she fancied Anthony.

"Sort of." Cass bit down on the side of her cheek. Part of her truly felt guilty about what had happened with George. Guilt, a horrible, miserable feeling she'd tried to push away since Connor's murder, and not just because he'd seen her dark mark. But because she'd been trying to work on things with Henry, truly had planned on trying to make them happy, and because of her stupid impulse, she had hurt him and ruined any chance they had.

She hadn't spoken to either of the boys since the incident, though she'd heard from the buzzing journal that George had wrote her several times. She didn't have the heart to see what he had said, which were likely full of insults about how horrible she was, how she was evil and deserved to die. As if she didn't already know that.

Henry, on the other hand, had been avoiding her like the plague, dodging her in the hallways, skipping classes they shared, and every time she entered the common room, he'd dash away to his room, sending her fiery glares as he did. To any onlooker, it would've seemed like they were exes, not in a relationship.

"Well, I'm happy for you." Parvati reached across the table and held Cass's good hand in hers.

"Are you sure? Because..."

"Of course I am." She waved a dismissive hand, cutting her off. "We were kids when we dated, I'm totally over him."

"Is there someone else you like?" Cass raised her eyebrows in a playful manor, a way she hadn't found herself communicating with her friends in a while.

A blush crept onto Parvati's tan face. "No." She said, though by the strain in her voice, it was evident she was lying.

"Oh my God, you like someone!" Ana squealed, and Cass's heart leapt at the noise, the excitement in what had previously been such a depressed girl. "Who is it? You must tell us!"

"I don't!" Parvati insisted, the blush only growing worse. "I swear, I don't!"

Even Bethany seemed intrigued by this, leaning in, her elbows resting on the table. "Are you sure about that, Patil?"

"Of course I'm sure! How's Colin, by the way?" A swift change of the subject, Cass noticed, but because she was also intrigued by the state of the two's relationship, she said nothing.

It was Bethany's turn to blush. "He's good."

"Just good? Come on, give us the juicy details!" Naia demanded, brown eyes alight.

"There's nothing to say." Bethany's shoulders lifted and fell. An obvious lie, Cass knew, and she could tell everyone else did as well.

Padma opened her mouth, likely to inquire more on the nature of Bethany and Colin's relationship, but before she could, the door to the Three Broomsticks swung open, and in ran Cho Chang, her eyes wide in horror and tears running down her cheeks.

Naia, who was friends with Cho from the Quidditch team, shot up instantly, rushing to her side. "What's wrong?" She asked, loud enough for Cass and the others to hear.

"It's Katie." Cho choked out, a sob wrecking through her.

"Katie Bell? From the Quidditch team?"

Cho nodded. Cass noticed she was trembling. "I don't know what happened, it all went by so fast...she had this package, she kept saying she had to deliver it to Dumbledore. Her and Leanne were fighting about it, then she went up in the air...Hagrid said she was cursed."

At the mention of Dumbledore, Cass froze.

"Cursed?" Naia breathed, and Cho nodded once again.

Cass didn't need to know more, she knew exactly what had happened. This was Malfoy's doing.

*

"How could you be so stupid?" Cass hissed, pressing Malfoy up against the stone wall of the Hogwarts hallway. Spit flew out of her mouth, as she was only inches from his face, snarling at him. "You nearly got a girl killed! Do you have any idea how this could've gone? You could've gotten caught, and the entire mission would be over!"

"Like you're doing any better." Malfoy spat, attempting to push through her, but it failed. His voice was low, despite there not being anyone else in the hallway. "Have you or Theodore gotten anything done in your tasks? Other than sucking up to Sluggy, I haven't seen Nott so much as lift a finger. And you, how many death eaters have you recruited?"

"At least we haven't had any setbacks! If Katie had died, her blood would be on your hands, Malfoy!"

His gaze darkened. "You think I don't know that? But better her blood than mine."

"You're vile." She shook her head in disbelief. "You don't care about anyone but yourself. You failing in this mission wouldn't just result in Katie's death, but yours, mine and both of the Notts. You disgust me."

Malfoy opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, footsteps began to echo down the halls. The moment Cass released her grip on the blonde douchebag, Potter came walking down the bend of the hallway, his green eyes piercing at them through his circular glasses.

When his gaze met them, he didn't seem surprised at all to see them, instead, his brow simply furrowed in more of an expression of confusion. Likely questioning why Malfoy and Cass would so much as breathe the same air, when they hated each other so much.

"This isn't over." She pointed a finger at him, threatening, before stalking down the hallway. She could feel Potter's gaze on her back the entire way, and tried not to tremble under it.

*

It was seemingly impossible to get Adelaide Burke alone. Apparently, she was one of the more popular girls in her year, always surrounded by her friends and admirers, even going to the loo with other students. Then again, between Myrtle's death and the Chamber of Secrets being located in the bathroom, bad things always seemed to happen in Hogwarts loos, so Cass really couldn't blame her.

Eventually, she figured she'd attempt to get an invitation to the Slytherin common rooms, from Theodore, but he seemed to be avoiding her once again. Perhaps because he knew she'd hurt his brother, or maybe it had something to do with Slughorn, but he was proving just as ridiculously hard to get ahold of as the youngest Burke sister.

Cass knew she couldn't ask Bethany for help without rousing suspicion, so instead, she decided to focus her attention on recruiting Blaise Zabini. Unlike Adelaide, she knew how to get him alone, and it was by way of the Slug Club Christmas party. At first, she hadn't been planning to attend at all, deeming it a ridiculous waste of time, but eventually, she realised it provided an unforeseen opportunity for her mission.

"Henry." She approached him one day after class, where he was sitting in the common room, playing a game of Wizards Chess with Michael Corner. "Can I talk to you?"

He let out a groan, which Michael gave him a silly look for, before standing up, and following her to the end of the room. "What do you want, Crouch?"

"Don't call me Crouch, for one."

"Right. Sorry, Cass." He said, not sounding the least bit sorry.

Oh well. Maybe she deserved that.

No, she definitely deserved it.

"I want you to go to Sluggy's Christmas party with me."

"Finally taken an interest in me, yeah?" His voice was full of spite, and she flinched, having never seen Henry so upset with her before. He'd always been so kind, so softspoken, it was like a whole new person was in front of her.

It was her fault. She knew that. But it still hurt.

Instead, she folded her arms over her chest, attempting to give off the impression that she didn't care. "You're my boyfriend now, like it or not. You kind of have to come with me, if you want to keep up public appearance."

He pressed his lips together. "Fine. I'll go."

"Brilliant." She gave him a smile, that somehow, felt oddly natural on her face. "See you then."

"Yeah, see you..."