musical mood: rip 2 my youth - the neighbourhood

Suicide was once again looking far more appealing to Cass. If it meant not having to face her father, not having to face her brother, she'd do it. She'd do anything to get out of the situation she was in. If only she had her wits about, if only she could find a way to escape, but she couldn't. Her mind had gone to mush.

Lucius had his hand on her shoulder as they approached Bartemius. They had apparated into the Malfoy manor, for some reason, instead of the Crouch home, which wasn't a problem. Cass certainly preferred the dim, creepy halls to Stromness right now. Luckily, Draco was still at school for the holidays, so she didn't have to deal with that pest for the time being.

"I found her in Blarmachfoldach." Lucius explained.

"Bless you." Cass said.

The moment Bartemius came into full view, Cass blinked in shock. His eyes were rimmed red, he'd clearly been crying. His hair and robes were askew, and his arms were outstretched, wrapping her into a tight hug before she could realise what was going on.

"What the hell - stop!" She shrieked, pushing him away with all the strength she could muster, causing him to nearly fall over. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"Language!" Bartemius snapped, and she rolled her eyes.

"Please, I think my excessive swearing is the least of your concerns right now."

"She's right." Lucius added.

"Oh, shut the hell up, Malfoy!" Cass turned to glare at him, aggression filling her. She'd spent the past day so full of panic, she hadn't had the time to be angry, and now she was allowing the rage to consume her. She'd been lied to her entire life by the adults around her, and she was about ready to rip their throats out. They'd prioritised the life of a murderer over hers, and now they what, wanted to talk?

A moment of silence went by between the three - Narcissa had left already, likely thrown off by the uncomfortable nature of their confrontation.

"Where is he?" Cass broke the silence.

"How...how did you figure it out, Cassiopeia?" Bartemius ignored her question, his tone calm.

I read love letters between Barty and my dead professor who tried to kill me and compared the handwriting to the emotionally manipulative letter I'd received from someone pretending to be you. Funny how those things work out, huh?

"A way that took much longer than I'd care to admit. It's embarrassing, really, that I didn't realise it way earlier." She gulped, before repeating her earlier question. "Where is he?"

"Back home." He answered. "I figured you'd want...space, for when we discuss this. You can't just run away like that. I thought...I thought something might've happened to you."

"You can't just lie to me and break the law for twelve years to hide your fugitive son, but here we are."

Bartemius flinched, and she continued.

"You've put that man, that psychopath, over me for my entire life, and you expect me to what, pretend it's okay? To stay in Stromness? I have nothing left for me there, and I'm smart enough to make it on my own. You can focus on figuring everything out with that man, and I can go about my business."

"You-you can't actually think I'd let you live alone, right? Don't be ridiculous. You're thirteen years old! It's unsafe!"

"It's safer than living on the streets, than under the same roof as a death eater." She intentionally glanced at Lucius when she said this, who was watching their conversation with a pointed amusement. "How did this even happen? He's supposed to be dead!"

Bartemius bit down on his tongue, red-tinted eyes flickering around the room. "Your mother begged me to save him. It was her dying wish. She was so sick, she wasn't going to live long, and she loved Barty so much. She switched places with him in Azkaban, with Polyjuice, and died a week later." His voice cracked at this, and he took a deep, shaky breath, before continuing. "After Diana's death, I packed us up and moved to a place as far away and isolated as I could find, which was Stromness. Barty, he was never meant to be free again, he'd been under the imperius curse and hiding under an invisibility cloak for most of the time, since we'd broken him out. But he's good at fighting the curse, perhaps he learned it as a death eater...no matter. Lucius found out that he was alive shortly after, perhaps a year, but we made a deal. We don't repeat the sins of each other's pasts."

"Maybe you should." Cass's glare was fierce enough to kill. "You're aware he murdered Fionn and Malcolm, right?"

Bartemius said nothing, so she continued.

"Yeah, I'm not stupid, I figured that out almost immediately. He mistook Fionn for Connor, and killed him because he doesn't like me spending time with a muggle. As for Malcolm, chances are, he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Are you also aware he was in love with the Professor who tried to kill me? That's less relevant, but still a bit...disturbing."

Lucius snorted.

"Is that how you figured it out, then? Investigating that Quirrell kid?" Bartemius raised an eyebrow.

"In a matter of speaking, sure. You could say that." She shrugged, finding it odd to refer to the man who had poisoned her as a kid. "You know, it's ironic, that Barty felt the need to kill two innocent people, when in just a few months, I wouldn't be friends with them. So it really didn't matter, had he just waited. He would've got what he wanted either way."

"He'd been threatening them for years. Threatening me, that I do something about your friendship with the Moore kid. I...I didn't take his threats seriously, until your first year, I grew worried when he started fighting the imperious curse more. But then...I figured he wouldn't actually do anything."

Cass scoffed, shaking her head in disbelief. "He tortured two people to insanity, but you didn't take him seriously about his threats on my best friend's family? You really are pathetic, and you have blood on your hands. I hope you know that."

"Trust me, I know."

"It could be worse, though. You could have my blood on your hands." She took a step towards him. Not that she actually cared much about if she lived or died right now, considering the direction her life was going, but surely her father did. "He could've killed me. I could be dead, and it would be your fault."

"He'd never hurt you." Was all Bartemius was able to respond with, gently shaking his head. "He can't."

She snorted. "He already did hurt me. He wrote me that letter, pretending to be you. He killed my best friend's family. You know, Catherine Moore was insistent that some homeless man was lurking around her home. Was it him?"

Bartemius gulped. "He's been getting out more often, the past year...and has been stalking the Moore family. Even after the death of Malcolm and Finn."

"Fionn." She corrected, fighting the urge to punch him. "For fucks sake, you can't even get the names of your victims right. How heartless can you possibly be?"

"Language!"

"Shut the fuck up!"

"Cassiopeia, please-"

"My name is Cass. I hate being called Cassiopeia. But you'd know that if you spent more time with me than you did your fugitive son."

*

She downright refused to return to Stromness.

Like she had said a plethora of times before, there was nothing left for her there. Connor was the only reason she ever returned, and with their friendship so cruelly severed, her last remaining tie to her hometown was cut as well.

Barty being in her home, watching her every movement was, of course, another, more obvious setback for her. In the end, she returned to Hogwarts early. When she claimed her and her father had an argument (which was true), and she no longer wanted to be at home for the holidays, Flitwick didn't question it at all, and allowed her passage through the floo network at the Malfoy manor. Good old Fillius never let her down.

Being away from the muggle world, being safe inside the massive castle, was both an advantage and a disadvantage to her newfound horrific family matter. Cass was no longer fearing for her life at every given moment, and didn't feel the nagging need to run away, but now she allowed her mind to immerse even more into the terrifying aspects she'd previously not dared venture into.

The reason for all these years of neglect was because of a person who was supposed to be dead. Her worst fear, something that was so outlandish a boggart wouldn't even produce, had come true - her brother was alive, her brother was watching everything she did.

She remembered the dream she'd had when she'd been poisoned by Quirrell, where she'd talked to Barty. It had felt so real, but of course, at the time, she'd assumed it was just a dream. Was it possible that it was more? How would he have entered her mind while she was in such a vulnerable state? It didn't make sense.

She knew she couldn't tell anyone about this. As much as she hated her father, throwing him in Azkaban was the last thing she wanted to do. In her eyes, he may have deserved misery, but not the dementors kiss. It was barbaric. If anyone found out, she'd be orphaned, which was why she needed to keep this a secret.

It was New Years Day, when she was in the mostly empty Hogwarts library, doing reading on advanced potions, to distract her mind from everything that had transpired over the past week. To anyone observing her, she must've seemed a wreck - it had been ages since she'd last washed her hair, she had dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep, and her scar was once again inflamed from her anxious scratching.

"What are you reading?"

Cass looked up at the person who approached her, and couldn't help the frustrated groan that emitted from her lips.

"Lovely to see you too." Saoirse scrunched her nose, sitting down across from her, reaching over and pulling the book up so she could read the title. "You're reading a seventh year potions book for fun?"

She shrugged.

"You went back to Stromness for the holidays." Saoirse said. It wasn't a question, it was a statement. "You're back early, so it didn't go well with Connor."

Cass bit down on her tongue. "Essentially."

"That sucks." She tucked a lock of curly red hair behind her ear. "I'm sorry, for what it's worth."

"It's alright." It wasn't. It would never be alright. Who was Cass without Connor? A misanthropic loner with no motivation to exist. She had friends at Hogwarts, sure, but they didn't fully understand her, and she didn't want them to. Connor was the only friend she ever truly desired, but he'd been ripped away from her, and it was all her fault.

"Being magic kind of blows, doesn't it?" Saoirse continued, pulling out a book of her own. A muggle one - Peter Pan. Saoirse had always loved fairy tales, it was ironic that she was now part of a magical world, that she clearly hated just as much as Cass did.

"You can say that again."

*

Ironically, Saoirse was perhaps the only person at Hogwarts Cass actually wanted to talk to for the remainder of the break. Henry was there, he'd stayed behind for the holidays, and so had Ana and Anthony Goldstein, but Cass had no desire to speak to any of them. She wasn't angry with them, no, she was just too emotionally exhausted to deal with just about anyone.

Except Saoirse. Maybe it was because she reminded Cass of Connor - appearance wise, at least. Their personalities were complete opposites. Maybe it was because Saoirse didn't expect anything from her. Maybe it was because she knew there was no way she could know about Barty's existence.

The two made an odd friendship, and didn't actually do much talking, but spent the majority of their free time for the rest of the break together, reading or doing homework in the library.

It was a cold, snowy day when everyone returned back to Hogwarts from over break, all trudging into the Great Hall, with snow still on their shoes. Filch would have a field day cleaning it all up.

Cass was one of the first to sit down at their usual spot on the Ravenclaw table next to Ana, waiting for the rest of her classmates to join them. She didn't want to talk to anyone, but she knew she had to. She had to pretend as though everything were normal, as though her life hadn't been flipped upside down. Ravenclaws were smart, and she didn't need anyone thinking anything was off with her, lest they do any digging.

"Sup." Naia greeted, plopping down on her right with a bright smile. Per usual, Luna was at her side, reading an upside down newspaper.

"You're looking quite dismal, Cass." Luna said without looking at her, and Cass shifted, unsure of how to respond to that.

Luckily, Padma and Terry sat down before anyone else could say anything. Bethany showed up last, her jaw clenched up and her eyes flickering to the door every few seconds. She was either waiting for someone or planning to make a run for it.

"How was everyone's Christmas?" Padma asked, leaning in on her elbows.

Bethany bit down on her tongue, not saying anything. Cass didn't answer either.

"It was boring, honestly. Angelina barely talked to me, she'd been writing to Fred day and night." Naia rolled her eyes.

"It was boring for me too." Luna said. "My daddy and I weren't able to do our usual creature searching because of Sirius Black. I told him I doubt he will come after us, but he said it was too dangerous to risk it."

"Speaking of Sirius Black, you guys will never guess what Parvati and I found out." Padma's eyes shone with excitement, but whatever it was she was about to say, she never did, because Bethany abruptly stood up from the table, marching away.

"Is she alright?" Ana peaked over the heads of everyone to watch her. At first, it seemed like she'd been upset by the Sirius Black topic, but that theory was quelled when Cass realised she was walking right up to Colin Creevey, who had just walked through the door.

"Oh God, she's going to kill that poor kid." Cass stood up as well, reaching for her wand in case she needed to save the second year's life.

But no, Bethany didn't murder Colin in the middle of the Great Hall, instead, she said something to him, too quiet for Cass to hear, that caused the boy to break out into a smile so big it hardly fit his tiny face.

"Do you mean it?" He squeaked.

She nodded sharply, her pink lips pressed in a thin line, contrasting from Colin's expression of pure joy. If Cass didn't know any better, she'd say Bethany agreed to date him. "And make sure you let everyone know, got it? Everyone you know, you should tell about this."

"Will do!" Colin beamed, running over to the Gryffindor table, to apparently tell everyone whatever had occurred. Bethany sent a glance over at the Slytherin table, making eye contact with a befuddled looking Theodore, before storming out of the Great Hall, black hair whipping behind her as she went.

*

"What do you suppose that was about?" Naia asked Cass as they walked back to the Ravenclaw common room.

She just shrugged. "No idea. It's Bethany, does anyone have a clue what she does?"

They both glanced over at Ana, who was mid-conversation with Terry. Ana was perhaps the only person at this school that Bethany actually liked, and she was as clueless as the rest of them.

"We'll probably find out tomorrow." Cass continued as Luna answered the riddle to the common room. She was always best at them, for some reason. "She told Colin to tell everyone, so I imagine we'll hear soon enough."

*

They did, in fact, hear the news the next day, though Cass could hardly believe it. When Malfoy had ran up to her on the way to Divination, claiming that Bethany Burke and "that mudblood with that weird picture thing" were a couple, she told him to fuck off. Because there was no way in hell they were dating, there was no way in hell Bethany would agree to go out with Colin. For one, he was a second year, and he annoyed the shit out of her!

"Did you guys hear?" Lavender said as Padma and Cass sat down at the table next to hers. Parvati was giggling next to the blonde, covering her mouth.

"Hear what?" Naia blinked.

"Bethany is dating Colin Creevey!" Parvati said through her fingers.

Naia's eyes widened from where she sat next to Theodore, who wasn't paying an ounce of attention. "No way. Are you serious?"

"Dead serious! That's what she was talking to him about last night at the feast. I can't imagine what possessed her to agree, but she did."

"That's insane. Bloody insane." Padma shook her head in disbelief. Before they could continue their conversation, Trelawney began the class, giving out instructions with her airy voice.

They were to reach each other's palm lines, which were apparently supposed to tell you about your soulmate, about the person who you'd spend the rest of your life with. Cass wanted to object to this, soulmates weren't real, after all. She'd thought Connor was her soulmate, but he wasn't, because there was no such thing.

But everyone else seemed excited to do it, so they did, Cass doing Padma's first, reading her palms and looking down at the textbook.

"Er...I think it says you're your own soulmate. Or...you'll marry a bald man. I can't tell."

Padma frowned as Cass let go of her hand. "I think I'll just take myself as a soulmate, over a bald man."

Cass couldn't argue with that.

"Here, my turn." Padma grabbed Cass's hand, her skin soft and gentle against hers, as she traced her palm lines with her pointer finger, then examining the book.

"You'll end up with someone who matches your intelligence." She concluded after several moments, looking quite pleased with herself.

"So not that Weasley twin, or Diggory. They're both as dumb as a sack of hair." Theodore snorted, just as Naia dropped his hand. Cass just rolled her eyes. "What's mine, Johnson?"

"You'll have a forbidden love affair." She wiggled her eyebrows. "With who? Theo, do you have a crush on someone you shouldn't?"

He shook his head, frowning. "No...but we're young, so we have all the time in the world to figure it out, I suppose. A forbidden love sounds kind of exciting, don't you think?"

Parvati nodded, looking glum. "It's better than mine. It says I'll have a tragic love story. I don't want a tragic love story!"

Padma patted her twin sister on the shoulder. "Aww, don't worry sis. We can be old maids together, since I'm my own soulmate."

She glared at her, making Padma laugh.

"Don't worry too much, Parvati." Cass gave her a small smile. "Chances are, this is all a load of bullshit."

"Exactly." Theodore agreed with a sharp nod. "Crouch likes them dumb, so how could she end up with someone as smart as her? Is there a boy smarter than her at Hogwarts? Or do you fancy girls? You could end up with Granger."

"I hate you."

"Mine says my soulmate is closer than I may believe." Lavender leaned in, her blue eyes shining with excitement. "Who do you think it could be?"

"I've always thought Boot fancied you." Theodore offered with a shrug.

Lavender scrunched her nose. "Terry? No thanks. All he cares about is Quidditch."

"Oi, I'll have you know, Quidditch is an integral part of wizarding society!" Naia crossed her arms. "Mine says my soulmate is my opposite."

"So a Quidditch hater?" Theodore raised his eyebrows.

"I could never fall in love with a Quidditch hater!"

"I wish Bethany was in this class." Parvati said with a sigh. "Maybe then we could get an insight into her and Colin."

Theodore shifted uncomfortably at this, but didn't say anything. Cass seemed to be the only one to notice his sudden awkward nature.

"Isn't he a bit young for her?" Lavender tilted her head. "I mean, we're all thirteen and fourteen, I can't imagine dating a twelve year old."

"He's thirteen, and so is she, so not really." Padma said. "But I reckon there's some motive behind it. No way she'd date him because she just wants to date him."

"I don't like the idea of her messing around with some kid for the fun of it." Parvati bit down on her lip. "It's wrong."

Cass shrugged. "Of course it's wrong. It's Bethany."