11: Insult to all Italians

.^^ Gabriella ^^

— Athenos —

I drummed my fingers on the steering wheel nervously, looking at the shop.

"Madame Nero's Voodoo Emporium. Sounds kinda catchy. I dig it." James shrugged, and opened his car door, forcing me to follow.

We were on the outskirts of the town, and on the wrong side of the river for my liking, but the building itself was properly warded to keep away mundane thieves and robbers. In fact, the whole street, and likely the whole block, had some pretty powerful ancestral magic filling it, driving away those with violence on their minds.

I caught his shoulder before he opened the door. "Before we go in there, I need you to know something. There's another type of witch, and it's the one most popular in this particular city."

"Ancestral magic. Because of all the bones. I know. The Irish invented the modern iteration around the time of the Danish Conquest, and the African Ubuntu Tribes the original." He grinned at my shocked look. "I had six months or so, by my clock, inside the Dark Dimension. I studied the books in your bag, and mine. I learned a bit, though only what you had in your bag. No way to check out new books, yeah?"

I smiled. "I see... but my point is, ancestral witches are ridiculously powerful, which is likely why she was the second in command to that Dread Lord."

"Alright, I understand that. And?"

"And her children have the same, if not more power than her. So behave, because if it becomes a magical fight? One of you will die. And I'd rather that didn't happen. Okay?" I asked casually.

He grinned. "Point received. Are you done stalling before you meet your future Domme?"

I grumbled at him. "How's my hair?"

"Salt and pepper." He nodded.

"Not helpful. Shirt? I ironed it, but-"

He turned away and opened the door, shaking his head.

"You're a terrible wingman!" I hissed at him, and followed, fixing my collar meticulously.

As we walked in, a little girl at the counter raised her hands. "I sense a great and evil energy, following you... and I'll exorcise it, for just $200!" She grinned cheekily.

"Gabriel, you'd better not be bothering customers!" Rafaela's voice carried from the parlor.

The girl grinned. "Me? Never!!!"

"I like her already." James chuckled.

I smiled and bowed my head to the little lady. "Hello! I am here to see your mother? I have an appointment, of sorts."

She hummed and shrugged. "Okay. Mamà! You have a customer! He says he has an appointment!"

"Ooh, is he cute?"

"Ehhh... 7/10. He has salty old person hair, but a pretty face. European, looks like. Has a kid, too, red hair, cute, but too tall and skinny. Like a bean pole." She shrugged.

Rafaela gasped, and came into the storefront. "Athenos, darling, why didn't you just come straight in?"

"I find it more polite to ask permission, first." I grinned.

She giggled, while James and Gabriel gagged. "Oh you do like to make me smile, don't you? Alright, come on, dear. Gabriel, please take care of James, he's a friend of mine from work." She nodded to the girl.

She raised an eyebrow slowly. "The bean-pole is a Dreadnought?"

"No, silly, he's a Mage, and speaking in Spanish won't hide you, he has the Gift of Tongues." Rafaela sighed.

She blinked, and then grinned, looking at James. "I will show you my Magical Crystal collection, then! I am collecting the very best ones my brother brings me, and selling the rest for him!!!" She leapt over the counter like a spring, and dragged him into the parlor and up the stairs by his hand.

"Seven, Eight?" I asked.

"Eight, Yes." She smiled warmly, looking up the stairs. "Be nice, Gabriel! No pranks, please!"

"Sí, Mamà! Don't worry about it!" The little girl laughed evilly.

"Should I be worried? I mean, he fights Dwarves and dragons, but a little girl is the most devastating and powerful enemy any man can face..." I asked sarcastically, and sat with her on the couch in her parlor.

She laughed. "No, don't worry. She likes to prank people with magic, but always little things that can be explained, like a flying eraser, or a glued seat. She's rather creative, actually."

"I suppose that's good. Mischief is a core part of growing up, after all." I nodded.

She gazed at me for a moment, and sighed. "How's James doing?"

"Better, I think... I've only had him for so long, but... better. He was very... I don't have the words in this language..." I sighed. "Morose? Maybe? No... Down?"

"Depressed?" She supplied.

"Ah! Thank you. Yes, depressed. He was depressed when he came to me, and cynical... ready to hate me. His mother told him the reason he never met me was because I didn't want to. That I didn't love him." I fought down the growl in my chest.

She growled for me, and shook her head. "And I imagine he was ready to hate your guts, first time he ever saw you."

"Exactly... but when I told him that his mother had entirely lied to him... he was depressed. And then he learned about magic, and was happy again. Then he learned that his mother might be a Witch, and had hidden magic from him, and he was sad again. It's been a hell of a roller coaster, but I think the slopes are getting calmer, if that makes any sense. The turns are getting softer." I sighed.

"Which, of course, means he'll settle into mediocrity, which is never fun." She nodded, instantly understanding my crappy analogy.

"Exactly!" I groaned, leaning back.

She sighed. "If it's any consolation, he'll never forget his first summer with you, even if the rest are boring."

I laughed. "I suppose that's true! Dwarves and magic and dragons, oh my!"

She snorted, covering her mouth and nose quickly. "You didn't hear that."

"The snort? Or the warthog hiding under the couch? Because, I swear, I saw her. Terribly beautiful specimen-"

She kissed me, while still laughing, leading to a half-gigglefest/half-makeout session.

I ended up beneath her, with my especially ironed shirt crumpled up and untucked, and for the first time in almost 40 years, it didn't bother me, even when I thought about it.

"Uhm... hola, Madrè? I am home?" A young man said from the curtain, covering his face with one hand.

She didn't bother fixing her clothing, and instead grinned. "Emmanuel! Welcome home! How was school?"

"Pretty lame... Uhm, who's the guy? And who do I hear upstairs with Gabriel?" He asked.

"This is Doctor Athenos Parthenos, a friend from work! And his son James is upstairs, being tortured by your sister. Rescue the boy, will you?" She smiled.

He shrugged. "Sí, mamà. But can you move whatever this is to your room? I respect your rights to a sex life, but can you respect my right to not seeing my mother naked? Even partially?"

She smiled and fixed her shirt a bit, covering her breasts more securely. I hadn't moved her clothes at all, so I wasn't sure how that had happened. "Alright, Emmanuel, I will do so, because you asked politely. Come with me, Doctor, my examination awaits!" She giggled at his disgusted groan, and led me behind the stairs, to the master bedroom.

"Can I ask you a question? Don't take it the wrong way."

"Oof, loaded start, but go ahead?" She answered, and stubbed out the cigarette she'd lit a few minutes ago, apparently to bring her heart rate back down.

"Uhm... was this too fast?" I asked.

"Not at all! You lasted a very respectable time, actually, I was impressed!" She grinned.

"No, the-"

"Oh I know what you meant, dear, I'm teasing." She smiled.

"Oh... right. I knew that." I blushed.

She smiled and patted my cheek. "If you meant us hooking up, then no. I'm too old for the whole 'meet, date for a few months, decide to become an item, date for a few more, become girlfriend, date for a few years-' blah, blah, blah, Blech." She shivered.

"Oh... right, of course..."

"But I suppose being courted was fun, once... when it was simple. For example! Ahem! Do you like me, personally and romantically?" She tilted my face towards her.

"Yes?"

"Perfect! Done deal, now we date." She said simply.

I laughed. "I like your casual way of thinking. Direct opposite to my clinically pristine lifestyle."

She grinned. "Oh! Like the scalpel and the chainsaw! I've always wanted to be the chainsaw."

I laughed again, and kissed the skin nearest to me, her left shoulder. "You're hilarious. I don't know what you meant by too old, but you've got some youthful cuteness left that I just can't resist. I've never seen the like before."

"Never?" She prompted.

"You want to talk about that? I meant never, I did." I hummed, surprised.

She shrugged. "I'm not the jealous type. I want to hear about the woman."

I sighed. "Is it bad of me that I don't like talking about her?"

She blinked. "Why not?"

"It feels like... every time I speak about a memory of her, ever since I learned about James, and that whole situation... it's like I'm poisoning my own memories. I can't remember her happy smile, because I'm too busy imagining her telling my boy that I hated him." I growled, and sighed, laying my face on her skin. "I don't like ruining good memories."

She nodded, petting my hair. "I think I understand. What about family? I have quite a few."

"Same. I'm Greek, we have the biggest families! You can imagine how pissed my father was, finding out I was sterile." I snorted.

"Biggest? Puh-lease. I'm Latina and Creole, we have the biggest families." She fired back.

"Is this a fight? Are we fighting? I have 42 immediate cousins, just from my father and mother's siblings, nothing further." I smirked at the look of horror on her face.

"Okay... I believe you win. I have 15 immediate cousins, all together." She sighed.

I grinned. "Ahh, Sweet Victory! I wonder how I should celebrate my conquest... aha! I will make you Greek Gnocchi." I nodded.

"Isn't that an Italian dish?"

"It is, Yes, undisputedly. However, my family has a recipe of their own that would likely make an Italian grandmother have a heart attack, or beat me with a wooden spoon, it really depends on the old bird." I shrugged.

She laughed. "Alright, Fine. You can make dinner, but I will make some churros for desert, and we will see which is more appreciated."

"No fair, serving desert!!! New rules, we both serve one of each. I have a recipe or two for baklava as well. If we're doing this, we're going all out. Food is literally the most important part of Greek culture. You have opened Pandora's box of culinary whoop-ass, woman." I shook my head faux-sadly.

She growled playfully, rolling us over and pinning me. "Is that so? Maybe I should distract the cook..."

"As fun as that sounds, I don't think I can go again, just yet? It's only been a few minutes, and seven is a limit I've never reached before... break and continue after the dessert round?" I grinned guiltily.

She blinked. "Has it been that long? Really? Dios Mio I lost track of time!!!" She hopped out of the bed, pulling on new clothes, and I dressed again, fixing my clothes with magic because I couldn't trust my hands.

She noticed, and paused. "Can I ask about your hands? They only shake when you're excited, right?"

"Or when I wake up... or feel any degree of cold. It's psychosomatic. All in my head. Not important." I shook my head.

She sat next to me, and gripped my chin, looking me in the eyes. "Do you need to talk about it? I need to feed my children, but I have time to talk."

I smiled. "It's fine. Let's begin the Appetizer round, to keep them engaged while we prepare the entree." I grinned, and led the way into the kitchen.

The kids were already there, all three of them, so I cleared my throat. "Alright. Well, your mother has challenged me in a battle of honor... as a Greek, she has claimed to be a better cook than me, and this cannot stand! Therefore, tonight's dinner will be a competition! Appetizers are first, however, to feed you a bit before we begin entree's and deserts. Any preferences?" I asked.

"Egg Rolls!" Gabriel grinned.

I blinked slowly. "Okay... that's not Greek or Latino... but okay. I can make egg rolls. Anything else, for your mother? James, any challenges for Rafaela?"

"Chips and Sauce?" He shrugged.

"Chips? What kind of-... oh. You're Irish. He means cheese-fries." I explained to Rafaela.

She laughed. "You will all need a serious detox of fat and cholesterol after tonight, but as a matter of honor I must accept!!!" She announced theatrically, and grabbed her Keys.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"Shopping?"

"No can do, we're on a time-crunch!" I grinned, and focused deeply, gripping James's wrist, and summoned ingredients to her pantry and fridge.

She gasped, and then laughed. "You have to teach me that spell."

"Only for emergencies, of course... it's ridiculously draining. I had to use James like a Battery to make it happen." I shivered.

"Yeah, Thanks for the warning, Athenos." He said dryly, rubbing his wrist.

Gabriel looked at him. "Why do you call your papa Athenos? Is that a Irish Thing?"

He grinned. "Not Really. We only recently met for the first time. Haven't warmed up to calling him Pa or Dad yet."

"You're Breaking my heart, kiddo!" I gasped theatrically, and turned away, cutting up veggies for the egg rolls, while heating up oil for the frying. The heating frying pan floated behind me, making Gabriel giggle, and Rafaela huff.

"Hey, What happened to 'levitation is wasteful magic'?" She asked.

"It is, when you try to levitate yourself. Levitating objects isn't nearly as hard. Besides, what's a cook-off without a little challenge? You're clearly not providing it..." I prodded her, grinning at her death-glare.

"Oh I'll show you challenge..." she muttered, and began cutting steak-fries with one hand, and melting cheese in a metal bowl with her other hand.

"Whoa, Okay, we're cooking with magic now, it's officially my birthday!" Emmanuel grinned, and entered the kitchen, helping his mother.

"What is this treachery?!? Reinforcements!?!? James! Son! Assist me!!!" I gasped.

"You're Right... any Italian grandmother would kill you painfully for calling this Gnocchi, but it is a delicious dumpling soup." Rafaela smiled and kissed my cheek. We laid around the parlor on the couches, having moved there (very slowly) after finishing desert.

I grinned. "And these fried chicken thighs are phenomenal, I do concede that much."

"CHURROS!!!" Gabriel brandished a churro like a dagger, covered in powdered sugar, and pretended to stab Emmanuel.

He took the dive like a star. "Light... fading... must have... churro... goodbye, cruel, wicked, churroless world... I will remember you so fondly... like the Sea of Lee's remembereth the bird of Hermes..."

She stuffed a churro in his mouth, and we all laughed as he immediately gagged, then tore it in half, eating it in one bite.

After I finished laughing, I hummed. "They teach the Alchemist's Set in Your school? Or you learned it for magic?" I asked.

"Magic? What's magic about that phrase?" He asked, confused.

"You mean,-
'In the sea without lees
Standeth the bird of Hermes
Eating his wings variable
And maketh himself yet full stable

When all his feathers be from him gone
He standeth still here as a stone
Here is now both white and red
And all so the stone to quicken the dead

All and some without fable
Both hard and soft and malleable
Understand now well and right
And thank you God of this sight

The bird of Hermes is my name,
eating my wings to make me tame.'-
Also known the Bird of Hermes, the poem about the creation of the philosopher's stone." I explained myself.

"Whoa... I didn't even know there was a poem attached to the quote!" He grinned.

"I could get you a copy of the original manuscript, but it's very boring, except for the poetry parts." I shrugged.

James sighed, and sat up, stretching. "Well, I'm going to go for a walk, explore a bit."

"Take your weapons, and remember no magic in front of mundanes." I shrugged.

He nodded, and left, whistling a haunting tune.

"He's going to find some trouble. Bet." Rafaela hummed.

"Oh no doubt. It'll be interesting to see how he gets out of it. And I have a psychic connection, so if he gets hurt, I'll know." I grinned.

"Ooh, very nice. And it doesn't tell you anything else?"

"No, no... I try to preserve his privacy... like I said, I try not to be the helicopter parent. He's survived 13 years without me, and he doesn't need a babysitter to stay out of trouble. Plus, you saw him slam that dwarf like a gnat. He can handle most anything mundane." I explained, and laid back down.

"I declare a winner!" Gabriel suddenly stood over all of us.

"Oh!?! Who wins!?!" Rafaela and I both asked.

"ME!" She giggled, and chomped on a churro.

I blinked, and looked at Rafaela. "I feel like that's an acceptable winner, you?"

She laughed softly and kissed the sugar-dusted princess. "Sure, Fine. Next round up is Bartending, though!"

"Oh you're so on! I went to college in Jamaica for eight years!" I snorted.

She groaned. "Okay, nevermind... I don't even want to start the nonsense. Maybe when the boys turn eighteen and twenty one." She shrugged.

I blinked, surprised, but laid my head back in her lap. "Sure, sounds like a plan..."

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