73: Sunsink [Final Chapter]
It isn't much longer before Jungkook falls asleep, worn out from the physical and emotional strain of the last few days.
His head rests on your chest, arms folded loosely around you. His eyes flicker beneath the paper-thin lids that cover them, shadows deepening the dip of them. He restlessly moves around, squirming in his sleep.
Then, with a great, heaving sigh, he goes completely still.
Slumbering so deeply, you pause for a minute to make sure he's still breathing evenly.
You gently unwrap yourself, laying his head back down as softly as you can. The pillow creases beneath his ebony hair.
Thankful that he sleeps like the dead, you glide out of the room on silent feet, swishing through the carpet.
You move down the empty hall, headed for Taehyung's darkened room. Before you can get there, the door creaks open to emit a slender, slumped figure.
Jimin.
He looks up as you approach. The sweet curves of his face are thin and haggard, but the hardest part of him to see are his eyes.
Is it just you, or does it feel like the beautiful galaxies that used to shine in Jimin's eyes have been swallowed up by black holes?
He musters a smile for you anyways.
It's blank and flat.
Wordlessly, you hold out a hand to him.
Jimin trudges over, wrapping his hand around yours, and pulls you toward the stairs.
"Come on, gorgeous goddess," he says.
You walk together down the stairs.
You find the others outside, sitting side by side on the drive in front of the house, looking out into the world.
They aren't saying anything.
Just existing.
Jimin lets go if your hand to sit beside Namjoon, who's wistfully watching as a bird floats by on a draft of breeze. Yoongi is beside him with one knee bent up, hands wrapped around his thin ankle.
You sit in between Jin and Hoseok, and lean your head to rest against Jin's shoulder.
It's so strange.
You remember seeing them for the first time, there on the other side of a storefront pane of glass, shrouded in smoke and shadows like mythical beings.
Now you look at them, scraped and bruised and broken, and so human, and think that the world they exist in isn't any different than yours.
They're the same as you.
They were never any different.
It was only how your eyes saw them, how your mind pictured them, how your biases boxed them in. They're yours now, wholly unladen with the weight of expectations - real and raw.
You close your eyes and exist with them.
After a while, Hoseok brushes a soothing hand over your shoulder.
"How are they?" he asks.
"Sleeping," Jimin answers. You nod.
Now all of you are watching the same bird, gliding in the air. Its feathers glitter under the dimly changing lights of early evening, black and ruffled.
It's free, and unfettered.
"We're going to be okay," Namjoon says softly.
He turns his face up, catching the last of the sun's rays on his cheekbones.
You all sit on the concrete and watch it sink into the earth.
"Why do I feel so sad?" Jimin asks. "I see the sun set every day, but now I feel like it's leaving me behind."
He's right.
This parting feels so significant to you, like the fading light is plummeting into the dark and won't be back.
You want to grab it with your hands and pull it to you. You want to lift it up into the sky and keep it there forever, so it's always warm and bright.
It doesn't matter what you want.
The sun sinks anyways, until all the light is gone, and the warmth is gone, and all that's left is cold and dark.
"We can't really appreciate something unless we know what it's like without it, right?" Yoongi taps his fingers on the drive. "Plus, no stars without the dark and all that crap."
The stars don't look that bright right now.
Hoseok hooks his pinky with yours, so your hands rest side by side on the ground.
"Don't worry," he says. "It'll be back again tomorrow. "
Maybe.
Can you be certain, really?
A quick pulse of fear beats through you. Nothing is certain. The whole world could be eaten up an hour from now, and you wouldn't be able to do a thing about it. That kind of celestial helplessness sucks your mind into an endless spiral of 'what ifs'.
But with a glance at the line of men beside you and a deep breath, you reign in the endless expanse of questioning and doubt.
Jungkook and Taehyung are in the house behind you, alive and okay.
There's an odd feeling in the air between the six of you, like your souls could up and fly away at a moment's notice. It's a fragile feeling, bettered only by the touch of Hoseok's hand and Jin's steadiness under your head.
"I just want you to know that if I were to die tomorrow," you say, "I'd be glad to die beside you. And I'm sorry. For everything."
Hoseok takes your whole hand in his, and Jin pats your head.
Yoongi looks on with a blank, expressionless face, but you can see some obscure emotion simmering deep in his angular eyes. "We don't regret anything. I'm still glad you came into our shop, Y/N."
"Me too," Jin affirms.
"Can't change anything now," Namjoon murmurs. "Just have to move forward. Keep going. Whatever it takes, as long as we're together."
That's the only thing that matters anymore.
"It all feels messed up," Jimin whispers. "I feel messed up. I think I am."
"I think we all are," you say to him. "Everybody's messed up. This is a messed up world, and we're just trying to make something of it."
There's a silence as you all mull over the words. You consider your efforts in the messed up world and come to the conclusion that your efforts haven't seemed to make much of anything.
Just more messes.
Maybe this is what Jimin was talking about - feeling like you're poison, and that everything you get a chance to lay your hands on becomes corrupted and wrong.
Your touch seems tinged with messed-up-ness.
"We did make something of it," says Hoseok, striking down your thoughts. "We made a family. One we weren't born into. We made it, and it's a good thing."
You all go quiet.
A breeze sifts through the tree branches, dancing along the concrete to where you sit. It ruffles Jin's hair, rugs at the collar of Yoongi's shirt.
But it doesn't move any of you.
You're still there, on the driveway, with your hand in Hoseok's and your head on Jin's shoulder, and your heart in the palm of Jungkook sleeping upstairs.
You're still there together, no matter how hard the wind blows.
"We're gonna be fine," Namjoon whispers.
The words hang over your heads, reassuring, and warm and bright like the sun, while the night drifts on in endless black.
You've done it. You've achieved the freedom you were so hungry for, the independence you so desperately sought.
You've found your place.
Bad things could be coming for you. Storms or famine or war, or great swathes of shadowed misery.
But you've found your place by their side, and they found their place on your side.
Jung Hoseok holds your hand, and Kim Seokjin carries your weight on his shoulder.
Kim Namjoon gives you his gentle confidence, while Park Jimin gives you his kindness.
Min Yoongi defends you with his unerring resilience as Kim Taehyung embraces you with his vulnerable naturality.
Jeon Jungkook is the rock beside you, and lets your dreams live in reality.
The ink that's on your skin binds you together, more assuredly than blood.
You don't know what's ahead of you in the future, but you have confidence that it won't matter.
As the days die into nights and then rise from the ashes into bright skies again, you'll sit here with your family.
And you'll all hold hands while the world goes by.
[The End]
[A/N]
Unedited
Thank you for all being there, and continuing to read through all this time. You've all been the kindest, most wonderful group of people who've given nothing but your most full-hearted support. I appreciate you all so, so much.
For Blood Ink's last time,
Thank you for reading.
❤️PB
P.S.
But there'll probably be a epilogue so maybe not 😉
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