60: Tell Me a Secret

The men in the car are silent, and so is the world.

You can't breathe in here.

Outside on the street, back at Wooseok's house, anywhere else on the planet Earth has air more breathable than the oppressive quiet that you're choking on inside the muted interior of the car.

Because on the street, and back at Wooseok's house, and anywhere else, there's something left between the eight of you and Taehyung's rescue mission. There's another step, another day, another plan that needs to be made - another something that you have to spend time on and perfect.

But now?

Now, all your plans will come to fruition.

Now you'll see wether they'll actually work or not.

It's strange, how every time there's something to achieve and you make a plan to achieve it, you spend the entire hour before sitting back and looking at all the possible wrong outcomes.

There are so many wrong outcomes.

So many factors that you haven't prepared for, and variables that could change in an unexpected way in the blink of an eye. Opposed to the confidence of Namjoon's statement when he said, without a doubt, that you would make it out with Taehyung in tow, no one feels like that.

What if you don't make it out with Taehyung?

What if you don't make it out at all?

In the backseat, Jungkook's thigh is pressed to yours on one side, Jimin's on the other. Jin is driving with Yoongi beside him in the front, and Hoseok and Namjoon are split in the middle seats.

No one looks at each other.

No one speaks.

Midway through the silence, Jungkook's hand finds yours in the evening light, his fingers threading between yours and intertwining so tightly that it feels like he'll never let go.

His hand trembles a little against your palm.

"Tell me a secret," you say. "Tell me something I don't know."  The void of quiet eats your voice whole.

For a moment in the tense silence, no one speaks.

"I used to have dreadlocks," mumbles Namjoon. "When I was younger. I thought they were cool. They weren't."

You want to laugh, but it feels like there's no joy left in you.

Another minute of silence.

Another voice.

"I have special glasses that I always wear on the drive to a mission. To lighten the mood," Jin says. He reaches forward and pulls open the glovebox at Yoongi's knees, taking something out.

It is indeed a pair of oddly shaped glasses, dark framed to protect from the sun.

They're rectangles, thin and long in the frames and tapered on the outsides, so when Jin puts them on his face he looks like the biggest dork on the planet. Said dork pulls them down in the rear view mirror and winks at you.

This time you do laugh.

"Why haven't you been wearing them?" you ask.

Jin goes still; he pulls the glasses off and returns them to the glovebox. "It didn't feel appropriate," he murmurs.

The suffocating blanket of silent returns in full force. 

Quiet.

Quiet.

Quiet.

"Sometimes I really hate myself," Jimin whispers. "I look in the mirror, and see myself. Short and ugly and talent-less. I only ever made it here because I followed Jungkook - Jungkook who, even though I've spent my whole life protecting him, is so much stronger than me. I'm useless. Not good enough."

Your throats clogs. You can't say a word.

"But in the end," continues Jimin, "I decided it doesn't matter. If I was born to be short and fat and ugly, I can at least do my best with what I have to protect my family. And you guys love me anyways, so who cares what other people think? Who cares what I think about myself?"

You slip your hand into Jimin's. He's shaking too.

Yoongi's deep rasp rumbles back from the front seat. "I tired to kill myself one time."

No one speaks. You're all simply listening, waiting.

"When I was a Boss in Daegu, my right hand man was my best friend. We met as low-ranked members and worked our way to the top together. He was the only person I felt that I could really trust."

There's subdued grief in Yoongi's voice as he speaks, distant and deep, like the scar over an old wound that hasn't healed properly.

"One day, one of my men came and found me. Told me that my friend had been sneaking around, talking about a shift in leadership. Getting people to pick a side: him or me. He was trying to plan a takeover, and a takeover can really only happen one way - by killing the current Boss, and taking over power by force."

He hesitates in the story telling. The yawning emptiness reawakens at the absence of a Yoongi's voice.

"What did you do?" you ask softly.

Yoongi exhales deeply. "I ran. I ran because I knew if my friend started a fight, I would win. He wouldn't survive it. And I loved him. I loved him so much that I left rather then have that happen. After I left, I knew it was all over. I didn't have anyone - no family, no friends. I went straight to a cheap hotel -top floor- and locked the door. Then I set the room on fire."

Your heart breaks inside your chest, because you can see it in your head. Yoongi, limp and hopeless, splayed on a bed with eyes black and betrayed, watching blankly as flames consume everything around him.

"I was almost gone, too," says Yoongi. "It almost worked. But then, just when I was about to black out from the smoke, the window shattered. And this idiot - this fool that was smiling as he hopped in the room, not scared at all of the fire - walked over to me and helped me up. He had climbed up the fire escape and broken open the window with his bare hand, somehow knowing exactly where I was. He said, 'I don't think it's your time yet. You should come with me.'"

Yoongi pauses in the telling and smiles wryly. "He said, 'I'm Hoseok. I have a place for you.' And I've been here ever since."

You all look to Hoseok, who sits serenely in his seat. He shrugs. "Yoongi made me promise not to tell."

You slump back in your seat, marveling at the revelation of Yoongi's story. He left Daegu and all his power and glory behind to protect his friend, even while his friend planned to betray him.

Hoseok says, "I know who killed my family. Mom and Dad, and my sister, Dawon. He'll be at the party tonight - but I've promised myself I won't hurt him. He doesn't matter anymore. My family is gone, and killing him now can only risk you guys. My new family."

Namjoon was right.

You bite your lip as a different kind of silence creeps up - one of shock and disbelief.

"Hyung," Jimin croaks. "Why didn't you tell us? We could've helped you."

"That's exactly why." Hoseok taps his finger on the armrest of his seat, staring pensively out the window. "If I had told you, what's the first thing you would've done? Gone after him. And this man, he isn't someone you can take down that easily. I was protecting you - you all are more important to me than any revenge plan or grudge."

As the road flashes by, all of the secrets are pouring out like oil from your mouths, flooding the car with the weight of your worries and griefs. It seems that knowing there's a possibility none of you will come back from this has filled the men with a last-day-on-earth mentality.

It's effecting you too, as you open your mouth and confess, "My grandfather died when I was younger. He was my mother's father - I'm not sure he was involved in my dad's 'family business'. Grandfather was the only one who really ever cared about me. He took me out for ice cream and to see movies, and he let me stay at his house with my cousin, Jisoo."

You pause to take a deep breath, feeling your voice thicken with emotion. "My parents said he died in a car accident - it was a closed-casket funeral, so I never got to see him one last time. And now, after knowing everything, I can't help but wonder...if it was really a car crash that killed him. Or if it was something to do with my dad."

The night grows deeper, the only sound in the car being the turn signal which Jin's just put on.

"I guess I should share one for Tae, too," Jimin says. "If he was...if he was here, he'd want to participate. I'm sure he'll be glad to know we told a story about him too."

"Good idea," Hoseok mumbles.

"Well, I'm sure you all know bits and pieces, but Taehyung was kidnapped when he was younger," Jimin starts. "He and his parents. Tae still doesn't know who it was, or why they did it. He was blindfolded and gagged. He had to sit there and listen as his parents were shot beside him. That's why he's so afraid of, you know...guns. And violence. He doesn't like blood."

You don't even know what to think, much less say. So many puzzle pieces are falling into place, finally taking all the random scraps of information and pasting them together to form a cohesive picture.

So many things make sense now.

"What about you?" You turn to Jungkook with the question and note with a start that he's turned pale and still, an animated corpse. His eyes are widened with some unknown horror, staring straight ahead, and his features are drawn with the same. His hand is deadly cold in yours.

"Jungkook?" you mutter in concern. "Are you okay?"

His screaming black gaze turns to you.

"Y/N," he says hoarsely. It sounds like an apology. "Y/N, I-"

"We're here." The SUV glides to a stop, and Jin glances into the back. "Are you ready? Let's get Taehyung back."

You all nod in response, adrenaline starting to pump through your veins as you climb out of the car.

When you glance back, Jungkook's reigned in his expression, breathing in and out deeply and closing his eyes. All of them are doing that - letting their bodies settle into an unsuspicious state of feigned relaxation.

You try to do the same, closing your eyes and focusing on clearing your head.

But even still, as you brush out your skirt and calm your breath in preparation, the fright on Jungkook's face haunts your mind.

[A/N]
Unedited
:)

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