"What in the ever loving heck are you doing?!"

The shower head is one of those fancy ones that has a removable head, the ones that change pressure settings and flow. The smooth plastic of the handle is a little slippery in your hands.

You're holding it in front of you, the setting changed to that single stream of compacted, pressurized water meant to massage sore muscles.

"I'm about to shower those guys in the face," you tell the bewildered tattoo artist, who's more focused on your makeshift weapon than the fact that people have now begun to slam into the bathroom door. "It's natural for a human to close their eyes against a spray of water. I'll spray them in the face, and then you'll have an easy shot."

Taehyung grins at that, also acting strangely at ease amongst the sound of the door getting beaten into a pulp as guns fired on the other side. "Oh, good idea!"

He grabs a bottle of shampoo from the shower and gets beside you, the two of you avenging bathroom warriors defending your territory.

"We're going to die in here," sighs Jungkook.

"Well, yeah, with that attitude we will." Popping open the cap of his shampoo, Taehyung takes a single sniff of the coconut and vanilla scented mixture of intended pain. He spreads his stance wide, bending his knees slightly, and holds the bottle out in front of him like a gun.

"Okay, Y/N," the silver-haired man says. "You go in first. If I hit them first and then you spray them, you'll just wash the shampoo out of their eyes."

"Roger that," you chirp.

The door pounds inwards, just on the verge of buckling into smithereens of wood and allowing the men outside to enter. Although your body strains to flinch back from the threatening echoes, you force yourself to stay still as a statue as you wait.

Just when you think the door is ready to burst, you feel a hand clasp the crest of your shoulder, heavy and expecting.

Jungkook steps up behind you, abandoning his post at the counter. To your utter shock, his chin drips down onto your shoulder. He doesn't leave any space between the two of you, leaning his front fully against your back and letting you take some of his weight.

"Help me stand," he murmurs to you. "I can't do it alone."

There's a soft flush on his face as he says the words, his jaw clinched as though he can't bear to think that he's admitting the degree of his body's weakness to you.

Crap.

It's cute.

"Taehyung's right there," you mumble in a deceptively casual voice. Really, you're screaming inside, hollering in disbelief and a weird type of exhilaration.

"He's too tall. You're the perfect size for a crutch."

Offended.

"Fine," you huff, clearing your throat and keeping your gaze straight ahead. This is fine. He just needs someone to lean on for a little while.

You're not flustered at all.

A loud crack sounds from the door, and the piece of wood shudders under the force of whoever is on the other side. Then, like it's in slow motion, the door buckles and falls forward, smashing flat to the ground in a poof of dust.

There in the doorway stands a group of five men, peering over each other's shoulders as they look in through the dust. It's like an old western showdown, the way that you're sizing up the men in the doorway. Their eyes are hard and determined.

For a moment, you all stare at each other in complete and total silence.

Then Taehyung screams, "Rub-a-dub-dub, mothertruckers!" and squirts a stream of yellowish shampoo into the eyes of the nearest man.

The battle cry breaks everyone out of the frozen state you had been in. Immediately, you aim your shower head and spray the onslaught of enemies in the face, satisfied that the water makes them close their eyes for a split section.

That's plenty enough time for Jungkook.

His arms come up around you, enveloping you in a circle of protection as he raises the gun to hover above the shower head in your hands.

His finger pulls the trigger.

As the gun fires, the recoil vibrates back down the length of Jungkook's arms and into his chest, transitioning from him to you in all the places that he presses against you.

A tiny gasp leaves your lips, but you ignore him and spray someone else in the face. Their shout of shock distracts you from the electric currents overflowing from his body into yours.

Taehyung's shampoo is proving to be the most effective weapon of the night. When the substance hits the eyes of the invaders, they let loose piercing screams of pure agony. The silver-haired assassin beside you is totally ruthless with the bottle.

It feels like you're fighting for eternity.

The doorway narrows down the amount of people who can enter at one time, but for every man that falls, another one takes his place. Jungkook fires his gun more times than you can count, reloading clip after clip in front of your eyes, but they only keep coming.

Bodies are piling up in the doorway.

"Heck, where are they all popping up from?" Jungkook grunts into your ear, hissing as he fires a bullet into someone's gut. You, in turn, shoot a concentrated stream of pressurized water into a man's eye.

Both of your victims screech, Jungkook's falling to the ground and yours furiously wiping at his eyes. That doesn't help when Taehyung send a squirt of shampoo his way, sending the man screaming again.

"We need to invest in some shampoo guns," yells Taehyung over the chaos. "This stuff is ten times better than a frying pan."

You laugh.

Amid the shower of bullets and shampoo and the screams of men in agony, you burst out in laughter, your spine trembling in mirth against the firm plane of Jungkook's chest. His own chuckle rumbles back through you, and Taehyung's giggle rings in your ear.

How are you laughing right now?

You spray another man in the face.

Jungkook goes to finish him off with a shot, but halts as the trigger clicks emptily, no discharge exploding from the end of the gun.

"Crap," he says, laying his cheek weakly against your shoulder. The longer the three of you have been standing here, the more weight Jungkook's been leaning on you. You can feel his legs shaking in an exhausted manner agains you. "I'm out of ammo."

Oh no.

Exchanging a glance with Taehyung, you can see the wariness in his eyes at the news.

"We need to get out of here," you mumble.

"Can't," barks Jungkook. He's swaying on his feet now, the adrenaline beginning to fade away. "I don't think I can move."

The men outside are beginning to realize that no more bullets are being fired from your territory.

One man strides through the doorway, wincing at the hard spray of water but continuing on anyways.

His eyes are furious and cold, and he realizes his gun and directs it at Jungkook.

"Give her to me," says the man.

"Bite me," replies Jungkook. He staggers in front of you, shielding you with his body.

The man's teeth clench at your tattoo buddy's disrespectful attitude, and the defiance in his weak stance. "I've got no orders to keep you alive," he warns.

And when Jungkook shrugs in a casual dismissal, he rolls his neck and sets his finger on the trigger. "If that's the way you want it, kid."

"No!" You push in front of Jungkook, knowing that one more wound to his already weak body could put him in the ground for good. As you do, his words from earlier strangely echo inside your skull, bouncing around like a pinball.

She is not insignificant.

You are not insignificant.

He's the first person to say that about you, to believe that about you. Yeah, he kidnapped you and he's threatened you and he's been a flat out jerk most if the time, but he sees worth in you.

That's something that no one else has ever seen before.

You close your eyes and grit your teeth as the sound of a gunshot slices through the air of the tiled bathroom, waiting for the pain of the bullet jetting into your flesh.

You wait for much too long, but it never comes.

"What the..." Peering open your eyes, you find a mystified Yoongi looking around the soaked, shampoo-and-blood spattered bathroom. The man who was holding you at gun point is laying limp on the floor, a puddle of blood beginning to well up from the back of his head.

Yoongi sighs. "I leave you kids alone for ten minutes..."

You glance at Taehyung and, seeing the sheepish grin on his face and the way he hides the shampoo bottle behind his back, you can't help but give into another round of laughter.

"Come on, kiddos," Yoongi mumbles tiredly amidst your peals of mischief. "It ain't over til the fat lady sings. Let's get out of here."

[A/N]
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thank you guys for 100k 😭❤️ I'm in shock. There are no words for how grateful I am ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ thank you thank you thank you
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