We are all creatures of self-preservation. It's integral to our survival. We will always look out for number one, do what we need to in order to benefit ourselves above others. It's in our nature, scientifically speaking. Pain and fear stimulate us, create monsters out of us, bring out our inner beasts to protect ourselves. Avoid scenarios where we become weak, situations that are detrimental to us, where we are vulnerable. We wear masks of deception, laugh in the presence of things that terrify us to convince ourselves we still have the upper hand. We laugh and tease those who don't play this game as well as some know how to. Yet, inside, we are all weak, feeble humans just trying to stay alive. Or so I thought. And somehow, some of us are sharks. And others are just blood in the water.

I walk down the silent street, one headphone in, hands stuffed in my pockets as I make my way back home. The library has always been captivating to me, sometimes, I'm yet to find out, to my demise. I get caught up in the worlds that are created by inked pages, lose myself in stories that sound so much better than my own life. Stories where mythical creatures exist, where fairy godmothers are bound to save the day when things go wrong. Where the ones who are struggling actually get help. But for me, it doesn't go that way. Not in this world where dark things are far too real and the magic doesn't save the day. Where the shadows come out to bite you and no matter how loud you scream, nothing comes out. Where people like me get hurt, and no one says a word.

It's too quick, his motions too nimble for me to catch, a blur of black, the scent of blood and worn leather, piercing blue and then nothing but pain.

***

"We can't protect him, Phil. You made a mistake now it's time to dispose of him, you know the rules."

"I can't, Pj. I can't hurt him, not anymore."

"You already did, Phil. It's too late for him."

"I won't say anything, to anyone." I cut in, voice groggy and laden with sleep. My body feels numb, muscles foreign as I try to move, staying still. I groan and close my eyes tighter against the harsh light in this unfamiliar room. My head pounds, body aching, throat burning as if I haven't had a drink in weeks.

"He's awake," a strange voice claims. I blink rapidly, trying to clear the film from behind my eyes.

"See what you've done now, Phil? Marcus will not be happy." A different voice, a boy with brown hair and a strong jaw, arms crossed, leaning on the wall. It looks like blood on his blue t-shirt, but I can't be sure. The room smells metallic though. Metallic and...good.

"It's always harder to dispose of them once they're awake. Not impossible, though." Closer now, a voice to my left. I turn my head, a boy with bouncy curls and piercing spring green eyes. He grins at me, sharp teeth dangerous, glinting in the light.

"I won't 'dispose' of him, Pj." To my left now. I turn, finally seeing something somewhat familiar. Black, worn leather jacket, piercing blue eyes filled with concern and protection. Protection for what? Dispose of me? I shudder at the thought. His eyes flick down to the sudden movement, his actions quick, so much so it's startling. "Cold?" He asks, voice clear and acute. It's pleasant to listen to, the kind of voice that would tell great bedtime stories. Though, I have a dark feeling he's more of a nightmare than I'd care to believe. I just furrow my brows at him.

"You can't seriously be asking how he feels right now, Phil. It doesn't matter." Pj, I guess his name is, replies for me. His voice is biting and holds a hint of disgust, obviously aimed towards me.

"This doesn't concern you," Phil stands now, hands balled into fists, angelic voice now taut. Pj stands as well, glaring darkly at Phil. Phil's own eyes turn to ice, blazing with cold hatred.

"How does it not concern me? I was with you when you did this, when you damaged this... this human. When you took his life. When you made this mistake, and you expect me to watch you make it worse for yourself? For all of us? For God's sake, Phil! This is bigger than you wanting to keep your little pet safe." His voice rises, hurting my head and I bring my hands up to hold both sides of my reverberating skull, hoping to dull the constant thrumming inside. Phil looks down then, catching every little movement I make. He sits back down, ignoring the argument and Pj's deathly glares in favour of pressing his cold fingertips to my temples. I immediately feel relief, letting out a short breath and blinking my eyes a few times. Phil offers me a small, sad smile. If it weren't life or death right now, I'd want to smile back. But this is his way of telling me he's losing this argument. Of telling me, silently, that he's made a mistake. And my life is the consequence. Pj huffs and storms over to the other boy who has stayed fairly silent this whole time.

"Come on, Chris. We should go. Phil needs to finish this. And you will, Phil. Before Marcus comes back." Pj walks out of the room, Chris following silently, the door slamming shut behind them. It's silent now and I let my eyes roam the room in the few seconds I have, taking in the coffee coloured walls, the overly soft four post bed I'm lying on, silky black sheets beneath me. The window to my right, in view now that Pj's gone, shows me it's still night time.

"Where am I?" I chance to ask, turning back to look at Phil. His hands are folded in his lap, sitting on the nightstand beside the bed, careful eyes meeting mine.

"My home. I'm so sorry this happened." I knit my brows together and push my hair back a bit with one hand, arm burning and tingling at the movement. I lay it back to my side.

"I don't understand, exactly. Can you tell me what happened? I just remember walking and then...and then nothing." I lie. Phil smiles that same, small, sad smile from before, weaving his fingers together and looking down at his thumbs.

"I made a grave error, tonight. I was...hunting, I suppose. And normally I stick to street rats. Low life nobodies who wouldn't be missed if they...disappeared. And I hardly ever do enough damage to make any lasting consequences. I...feed until I've quenched the relentless thirst, not enough to kill them. And then I wipe their memories and leave. But with you," Phil pauses, a humorless, dry laugh coming from between red lips. The small smile remains.

"With you, I lost control. I never intended to even feed on you. You obviously have a life, a family, I'm sure, people who would not only notice, but miss you if you were to... go missing. But I was in a frenzy. I was weak, stupid. And I bit you. But it goes further than that, obviously. If I'd only just bit you... If I'd been strong enough, I would've wiped your memories and walked away, left you to your life. Left you...living. But I wasn't." I wait for him to continue but he says nothing, looking past me out the window.

"What did you do to me?" I whisper weakly.

"I took you." I wrinkle my forehead in confusion.

"You...took me? Why does that matter? I already told you I wouldn't tell anyone if you just-"

"You can't leave. Not now."

"What do you mean I can't leave?" My voice rises in panic. Phil hushes me softly.

"I made a mistake with you. I got too carried away and I... there's venom in your system. Can you feel it?" I focus on myself for a second, trying to move my fingers. They respond, yet slow, sluggish. My heart is pounding too fast, my body cold, too cold. I feel something hot running through my veins, bringing with it a dull fire I'd been too preoccupied to notice. I nod once.

"Pj wouldn't like this, me talking to you, telling you what's happened. Marcus will be even more unhappy but I'm not like them. I can't do that to you." His velvet voice is heavy with guilt, eyes downcast. "What's your name?" He asks finally, breaking the silence. I'm grateful, the more he speaks to me, the easier it is to ignore the pain I'm in. The change that's happening inside of me.

"Dan. Daniel Howell." He smiles softly at me, still sad, and I wish more than anything he'd stop looking at me with such pity, like a wounded animal whose time is almost up.

"This was my error, tonight, Dan. Not yours and I hate the rules we follow. I hate the guidelines that my...people live by. The rule I'm referring to right now, Dan is this. I've ignited a change within you. The worst part is the pain that I know you felt. It's quick, which is good, but this, this is your chance. Your choice, a choice I'm not allowed to give you. The rule we live by is that we must...destroy those we've accidentally created. We are a large community, widespread across the world, and we live in secrecy. We have higher ups, those we are to respect and listen to. Marcus is one of London's higher up. He's like the law around here. He's a strict vampire with no respect for human life. Or mistakes." I shudder, knowing where Phil is headed with this.

"But I'm willing to take that on myself, Dan. I want you to make this choice, I won't make it for you." He glances at his phone, checking the time. "You only have around 10 minutes until the change completes. Then, it gets worse and a lot more gruesome for you."

"What's my choice, Phil?" I ask feebly, my mind desperately trying to wrap around what's going on. The fact that in one night, I've changed so completely. That my life has been ended.

"You can stay with me, you can...live. As one of us, as a vampire. Or I can...I can end it for you, Dan." I swallow thickly and try to move, wincing at the burning that accelerates. Instead, I lie still, looking up at Phil.

"Will you get into trouble if you keep me?" I whisper. Something in me wants to protect him, though he's a monster. Though he killed me, tonight. Something aches in me for him.

"That doesn't matter. I'll handle whatever I must. This is your decision." I sigh and stare up at the ceiling, mind reeling.

"Will you take care of me?" I whisper again, voice breaking. Phil nods, that sadness in his eyes overwhelming, the small, guilt-ridden smile on his lips again.

"I will make this transition as easy as I possibly can for you, Dan. I will spend eternity trying to make this up to you if you choose to stay." I swallow again, ignoring the burning in the back of my throat, disgust welling up inside me, knowing now what it means.

"I want to stay, Phil." Phil nods, reaching forward and grasping my hand in his own. I notice now that the coldness his hands once were is gone. His skin is the same temperature as mine now. And slowly, my heart comes to a sluggish state, barely beating. I stare at Phil with wide eyes, thinking how we are all creatures of self-preservation. I chose to live because the other alternative was death. Phil, though, is choosing to protect me, despite the fact that his consequence could be dire. We are all feeble, weak beings, trying to protect ourselves at all costs. All of us, except for Phil.

___________________________________________

Authors Note:

Hey there! This is my new story I've just started. I'm not sure how long it will be or what exactly it's going to follow, but I felt inspiration and decided to write! It's a vampire au, obviously, and will probably be angsty and fluffy. Let me know what you think of this first chapter! Thank you! :)