IX- Curiosity Kills

"For the nth time, Aspen, I don't think this is a good idea."

"And for the nth time, I'm telling you to trust me." Aspen smiled to Xavier who still have his eyebrows drawn into one line. She reached up and soothed his creased forehead. "Cmon, two days is not that long."

Her mate winced."For me, it is."

She wanted to agree with him, napakatagal ng dalawang taon na nagkahiwalay sila. Ngayong nagkita silang muli, masyado nang matagal ang dalawang araw na kailangan nitong ipunin ang coven at makarating sila ng Aslan. But she kept her mouth shut. Hindi na nito kailangan pang malaman na mangungulila siya rito dahil baka lalong hindi siya nito pakawalan. Katulad nga ng sinabi niya rito kanina, they needed to own up to their responsibilities. They both had to set aside their feelings for the greater good.

"I really don't like this."

"You don't have to."

"God! Why do you have to be so crass?" bumuntong hininga ito. "Alright, I'll stop being clingy. You'd think I have a pussy from the way I'm behaving."

She laughed out loud at that.

"Be careful, okay? Make sure you are well-fed and well armed." he strapped her holster in her waist and sheathed a blade on her right hip. "I'll meet you up there and you need to be in one piece, do you understand me?"

Aspen grinned at her mate. "You know I'm not a kid, right? And I'm technically older than you."

Pinitik ni Xav ang noo niya at napasimangot siya. "Age doesn't matter if I wanted to take care of my wife."

Muli siyang napangiti. She hates it when Xavier uses that term. Wife. It's making her feel all warm and fuzzy inside and she's anything but a softie. Xavier had made her that way and she wasn't sure if it was a good thing or not.

"I need you alive in Aslan, love." bilin nanaman nito bago umalis ng bunker. "If I sense something bad happening to you," he threw Q a warning glare. "I'm coming right back, with or without the crew, you get me?"

"I'll be fine." maasim ang mukhang sambit niya. "I told you, I'm not a kid."

"You were not fine when those things were clawing at you and you're lying on your back on that fucking floor." he reminded her with a hiss.

"Can we just fucking get a move on?" she rolled her eyes. Itinulak niya ito palabas ng pinto. "You better be also in one piece when I see you coz I'm going to quarter you if not."

He grinned after planting a swift kiss on her lips. "See you in two days."

Aspen felt an overwhelming feeling of emptiness as Xavier left her with Q. It was so hard to be apart from him after seeing him again after two years. Although it was technically her fault that they have to be away from each other for so long, it didn't make her miss him any less. She sighed. They both have duties and responsibilities to do. She needed to set aside her feelings for him and face it like the big girl she claim to be.

"Hey.."

Hinarap niya si Q na may nakapaskil na pekeng ngiti sa mukha. "We need to get going."

Tumango lamang ang lalaki at nagsimula na silang magempake ng mga gamit nila. They packed mostly guns and ammunition. Pareho silang tahimik. Pilit niyang iwinawaksi sa isip ang namagitan sa kanilang dalawa. Maybe if she could pretend that it didn't happen, maybe they can both forget about it. It was so wrong in so many levels. And even if she wanted to confront him about it, she chose to just let it go. Maybe it was just a passing feeling of lust on Q's part. After all , it was hard having a really hot vampire like her in a place where he used to be alone. She laughed at the thought.

"What are you laughing at?"

Aspen turned towards him from gazing outside the truck's window. She found him scowling at her while driving. "Can you please keep your eye on the road?" she scolded.

"We're not going to crash, I'm a lot better driver than you are." he teased.

She felt slightly relieved. Mas gusto niya si Q na nasa teasing mood kaysa naman tahimik ito. Hindi niya magawang basahin ang utak ng lalaki.

"So, why are you laughing?"

"None of your business." pasupladang sagot niya rito.

"Sungit."

Napangiti na lang siya. Mas mabuti na rin na ito ang kasama niya. He's funny and he's chill. Something she needed in her life right now. And although he's annoying and a fucking idiot for kissing her, she would prefer his company over that of Thad's or Payne. Those guys are a human version of a headache. At least she doesn't have the urge to kill Q and Q wouldn't want to get her killed.

"Hey.."

"What?" naiiritang tanong niya.

"You know it will take us a few days to get to that place, right?"

"And so?"

"We're gonna be stuck together for that long."

"What's your point?"

"My point is, I don't know a thing about you."

She rolled her eyes. "I've already explained it to you, kailangan ko nanaman bang ulitin ang buong istorya?" Xavier made her explain to Q what was happening, what they are about to face and what kind of danger they are putting themselves into. Maybe at the hopes of him backing out? Pero ang sabi ni Xavier ay hindi nila maaring itago rito ang totoo. They can't get him involved and keep him in the dark at the same time. Kaya naman ikinuwento niya rito ang lahat magmula sa aksidenteng pagkakagawa niya ng isang hybrid.

"It's not that!" kontra pa nito.

"Then what? What do you want to know?"

Tumikhim si Q. She saw him hesitate and it puzzled her. He usually don't mind asking questions and he seemed to have no reservations at all. What was he going to ask that made him think twice? "Cmon, spill it." udyok niya rito.

"How did you become a vampire?" seryosong tanong nito.

She was kind of surprised by his question. Nobody had asked her that before. Not even Xavier, maybe because he knew there's nothing to tell. Aspen shrugged. "I don't exactly remember anything and that's the truth." she answered. "Vampires usually have a recollection of their past lives. Very vague but some memories remain like how you were turned and such. But as for me, I remember nothing. I only recalled waking up to some loud noise and my creator Verena was there. She told me I've become a vampire and that was it."

"That's it?" may halong gulat na tanong nito. "You didn't even got mad she condemned you into this life?"

Natawa siya. "I don't remember how it felt like to be human, Q. So, I don't know what I was missing. What did I lose?"

She saw a tic worked on his jaw which made her frown. "How about you? How did you become a werewolf?"

"A group of vampires went after a pack of wolves and I guess you can say I got caught in the crossfire, got bitten and poof! I'm a werewolf."

"Oh." napalunok siya. Hindi niya alam na may kinalaman pala ang mga bampira sa nangyari rito. "I'm sorry about that."

He shook it off. "It was a long time ago." he quickly quipped. "Don't you even miss your family? Don't you have someone special when you were a human--"

"I told you, I don't remember anything. Aren't you listening?" inirapan niya ito.

He sighed.

"I was glad Verena saved my life. And being surly about being condemned into this life is kind of being ungrateful on my dictionary." sumandal siya sa upuan niya at inekis ang mga braso sa dibdib niya. "I've never known any kind of life except being a vampire. Come to think of it, being a human sucks. You're weak, you're stupid. Who would want to go back to that?"

"Me."

Mabilis na napatingin siya rito. She could not imagine someone who would want his mortality back. She's going to live forever with all her time in her hands. The power, the immunity from diseases--well, save for this virus that dipshit Drakkar is spreading lately--she's invincible. And she's free. Bakit gusto pang bumalik ni Q? Anong mayroon sa pagiging werewolf nito na mas mamatamisin pa nitong bumalik sa pagiging tao at mamatay matapos ang ilang mga taon? Was it really that bad?

"Well, I guess being a werewolf sucks that much huh?" she grinned at him. "But being a vampire is awesome so.."

"Sucking blood from an innocent human is awesome?" he deadpanned.

Tiningnan niya ito ng matalim. "We all need to do something for us to survive. Vampires didn't choose blood to be our means to survival. Same as you didn't choose to eat raw meat to live."

"But you were saying as if preying on someone is awesome."

"Why? Since when did wanting to live is a crime? We are all a prey to someone on the higher position in the food chain, anyway."

Ipinagkibit balikat na lamang ito ng lalaki. She wanted to take a snipe at him. It's kind of a low blow to pick on her diet. Hindi naman niya piniling uminom ng dugo ng tao, naturalesa ng mga bampira iyon. As long as you don't kill your prey, what's so wrong with that?

Tumingin na lamang siya muli sa labas ng sasakyan dahil sa pagkayamot kay Quentin. Akala mo naman kasi ay napakalinis nitong nilalang. I'll bet he have killed a lot of people before when he was still a newborn. Kilala ang mga werewolf sa pagiging volatile ng mga ito. Mainitin ang ulo at mahirap kontrolin. Lalo na kung bagong convert lamang ito. All they want is to feed and to kill. She highly doubt it if he'd never shed someone's blood before. For all she knew baka mas marami pa itong napatay kaysa sa kanya.

"Don't you ever want a family of your own?" muli ay untag nito sa kanya.

She was taken aback from his question. "I have Xavier. Sometimes, when the other coven members aren't being a prick, I consider them family, too."

"What about a child? "

"Xavier usually acts like one, so it's a moot point."

"No, I mean like your own child."

Aspen sighed. "I told you, I don't remember much from being a human. I don't know what motherly instincts felt like."

Napapalatak ang lalaki.

"What about you?"

"I have a wife once. We were already planning on having a baby."

Napaangat ang kilay niya. "Really? Is she a werewolf, too?"

"No. We were both humans back then."

Aspen frowned. "What happened?"

"I lost her the same day I became a werewolf. "

"Did.." she looked at him horrified. She bit her lip before asking him, "Did you kill her?"

"Gods no!" mariing tanggi nito. His face became serious. He almost looked murderously mad. "Somebody else did."

Napatango si Aspen. So, he lost his wife. Maybe to that werewolf who attacked them. Maybe that's why he was so disgusted about being one that he wanted to go back to being human.

She knew what it felt like to lose somebody who meant the whole world to you. She have lost Verena, too. After that, she was bitter at no ends. She shun everyone who wanted to help her. She was so mad at the world for taking her when she's all she's got. Thankfully, she met Xavier. He grounded her. He made it feel that everything's going to be alright and that she has someone who she could rely on at all times. And though it scares her that just like Verena, she could lose him, too, she knew that if Xavier's gonna go down, she is going too. Ride or die. That's the kind of relationship they have.

"Don't you get curious at all?" lumiko ang sasakyan nila sa isang intersection. Pababa na ang araw ng mga oras na iyon. "Hindi mo ba naisip na alamin kung saan ka talaga nagmula? If Aspen was really your name then? Or if you have family who's looking for you?"

Hindi siya nakasagot. She have never thought about that. She became too content of what she have--Verena and the others--that she completely set aside her past. Wala rin namang naikwento si Verena o si Abyss. At hindi rin naman siya nagtanong. Nagtaka siyang bigla. Sa loob ng mahabang taon, bakit nga ba hindi siya nagtanong?

Tumingin siyang muli sa labas ng sasakyan. They were already on the outskirts of town, Aslan couldn't be that far now.

"Aspen?"

"Can we change the subject now? I think we're near."

"I'm not trying to pry or anything. I'm just curious."

She smiled bitterly to herself. "It's sort of too late to be curious now. Kung may mga tao mang naghanap sa akin noon, I'm pretty sure they're all dead by now."

"It's never too late to know the truth, A." mahinang sabi ni Quentin.

He's right. But could she be bothered to know the truth? She doesn't remember anything from the past. She doesn't remember anything about being a human. Kung curiosity lamang ang dahilan, Aspen had been a firm believer that curiosity could kill a vampire. Look at what happened between her and Xavier. It was out of curiosity that she almost killed him and accidentally made him a hybrid. Isa pa, maaring makagulo lamang sa hinaharap kung babalikan pa niya ang bagay na nakalipas na. So what if she doesn't have a history to look back on? At least she's got a future.

A future she needed to secure.